by the Prophet in the name of the Lord (m) Jer. 29.6 1 Cor. 7.36 to take wives to their sons and give daughters to their husbands should with a good and serious conscience without carnal glosses study this prime Canon as they really design the promotion and spiritual advancement of their offspring Thus Abraham so famous in his parental government (n) Gen. 18.19 was very careful with respect to the Lord in covenant for the matching of his son Isaac that in a matter of so great importance lest he should be tempted to a failure in his trust he took a most solemn oath by the Lord God of Heaven and Earth from his faithful Steward Eleazer (o) 24.2 4 6 8. upon serious seeking of God by Prayer that he should take a wife for him out of a religious Family and by no means yield that Isaac should be brought into a relation communion and residence with any of those who might be an occasion to alienate his affections from the service of the true God in a true manner which had an excellent effect sith Isaac and Rebekah were the most chast pair of all those Patriarchal Worthies their affections being entirely united And Isaac at his wife Rebekah's motion when almost dead for fear of an ungodly wife (p) 27. ver followed his Father's example in the disposal of his son Jacob (q) 28.2 c. We indeed live in an age wherein there is much complaint by many wealthy Parents that though they like well of this grand rule yet they know not where to have suitable matches for their children especially of the female sex I confess there is too much ground for this lamentation The Lord remove it Yet I may with submission not being sollicitous to please man but my Lord and Master (r) Gal. 1.10 Eph. 6.6 Mr. White put these complainants in mind of what hath been observ'd by another before me That Persons of quality and estate likely have in one respect a greater advantage than others in that they have a greater latitude of choice amongst those who are in estate below them So that of religious prudent and suitable persons they may choose almost whom they please But the truth is many Parents who sit at the upper end of the world though they profess Religion they are too often so biassed with the love of this world that marrying to the very height of their estate hath the casting vote and so they bestow their pious hopeful children upon persons in whom they have no probable positive evidence of real godliness and sobriety or on such who are not comparably so vertuous as others they might have more religious prudent and desirable who upon conjuncture of Estates would be abundantly well accommodated for a comfortable and chearful livelyhood When alas some of them are so sway'd by carnal motives that as one saith †Mr. Baxter pol. p. 484. they marry their children to a swine for a golden trough they prefer temporals to spirituals and eternals riches and honour or comliness to vertue and godliness and take one that is at enmity with God (s) Rom. 8.7 8. into the nearest and strictest league of amity with those they are oblig'd to love best And thence it comes to pass that in succeeding generations by unequal mixture of the holy seed with the profane (t) Ezra 9 2 4. there is such a decay of piety as at this day amongst those sprung on one side from worthy Progenitors being much like those of the old world who defiled the face of the earth with an unblest generation which so grieved the Almighty that after he had given the inhabitants fair warning by the preacher of righteousness (u) Gen. 6.2 4. See more Gen. 26.34 35. 34 14. 38.2 7 8.9 10. he swept them all away but eight persons with an universal deluge I know upon the hearing of this some professing Parents of our Age will be touch'd to the quick though they do thereby a little shake their own title to the best inheritance but it concerns a watchman when call'd to give them warning from the Lord (w) Ezek. 3.17 to deal faithfully Upon the remembrance of which and an affecting apprhension of this growing epidemical distemper I do in the name of the Lord put all Christian Parents in mind not too vehemently to seek after great things to themselves (x) Jer. 45.5 in bestowing of their children richly but labour to link them with gracious and suitable persons where there may be mutual kindness and hearty liking of each other and with vvhom they may live religiously and contentedly For the truth is without this mutual complacency and loving contentment each in other vvhich the Scripture calls for (y) Prov. 5.19 with Gen. 20.16 Ezek. 24.16 18. upon a good foundation there cannot be an happy match Wherefore in this great office of Parents vvhich is a comfortable one for their Children if well done but most uncomfortable if otherwise they are mostly concern'd to look after the fear of the Lord. For the Wise man by the spirit of God hath so determin'd upon weighing of things saying (z) Prov. 31.30 with 19.23 Favour is deceitful and beauty is vain but a woman that feareth the Lord she shall be praised and so shall the man also If things be tryed at God's ballance Religion will weigh most Houses and riches are the inheritance of Fathers but a prudent wife is from the Lord (a) 19.14 and so is a prudent husband too Either is to be valued as a more blessed gift than any temporal portion left by Parents who may and ought to be provident but there is a more special finger of God who gives wisdom and unites hearts in every happy match Wherein good-nature or as we now speak good-humour doth much sweeten society in a humane way but I pray you what doth it in a Christian way wherein the married couple should live as being heirs together of the grace of life that their prayers he not hindred (b) 1 Pet. 3.7 Alas my Friends as to this a good nature as one saith * Mr. Thomas Couns l to married Couples is but like the white of an egg which as it offends not so it relisheth not There may be a tolerable conversation as to temporals on the week day but what is pleasant in it as to spirituals especially on the Lord's day and at other seasons when the Soul hath need of quickening direction and comfort or a companion in Heavenly joys Then real grace with all its faults will be better than refined nature (c) Eccles 2.13 as light than darkness Discretion will set a lustre on Religion and is to be look'd after else how troublesom will it be for wisdom to be subject to folly No one can live lovingly and comfortably with a Fool. Next an ungodly an unworthy yoke-fellow especially if in Husbands is to be feared And next to
by others iniquity these are most to be pityed the violent suffocation of their thoughts is not without great vexation of their hearts as Lot might be an instance 2 Pet. 2.2 8. And David Psal 39.23 I was dumb with silence I held my peace even from good and my sorrow was stirred my heart was but within me while I mused the fire burnt In others this is affected out of Moroseness doggedness or design in these the offence is most aggravated the silence is most sinful but more particularly When are we guilty of over-much silence 1. When Justice is obstructed by it my Neighbour has suffered wrong I know it without my testimony he cannot have right I conceal it my secrecy involves me in the iniquity Lev. 5.1 A pretence of peaceableness and good Neighbour-hood stops the mouths of several in this case but peace of Conscience and the cause of Righteousness should be preferred before all peace and above every other consideration take place if the matter especially be momentous 2. When Charity is omitted and is not like from other hands to be at least so seasonably and advantagiously administred there is oft-times great Charity in a word and it is the greatest cruelty imaginable to spare that word and it is often further heightned from the parties to which it is grudged For instance if we are made privy to any thing the discovery of which is for great publique good and conceal it for private advantage beyond what is fitting for our private capacity and a just reward for our ingenuity we highly transgress against publique Charity and are unworthy of the benefits of Society this we learn from the Lepers case themselves being Judges 2 Kings 7.8 9. Again if we alone are privy to a Brother or Friend's fault wherein he goes on and is not like of himself to come off bolstering himself up in the opinion of its secrecy a word of reproof from thee might save him and thou art the greatest Enemy he has if thou with-holdest it from him Lev. 19.17 Further thy own Soul is in a dark and dismal state thy Neighbour or Friend is full of light by one question thou mightest do much to thy own illumination and yet thou pinest away and perishest for lack of knowledg where is thy love to thy self in the mean time Tongue-Charity is the cheapest of all Charity and yet many certainly not without great guilt let their Countreys Friends and own Souls starve for lack of it 3. If our own Spirits be soured by it words kept in are many times like humours struck in go to the heart and offend the vital parts Maliciousness censoriousness are often so fed vent might give relief in this case and be the only means for our Cure if moderately and discreetly given Many can write their probatum est to this 4. If our Company whom we may and ought to please so far as we can be grieved or offended at it Silence where we may be free and have wont to be free and it is justly expected we should be free as among Friends Relations c. Speaks very cuttingly and should not causlesly be long kept lest it be ill interpreted it intimates anger at them or contempt of them it renders you wholly insignificant to them you had as good send your Horse among them if you will not converse like a man with them 5. If our Calling and Commission from God be to speak we may not be silent as to any one thing committed to us to speak in this case You know who said Acts 4.20 We cannot but speak woe is us if we do not Paul no other way could clear himself of their blood than by protesting that he had not shunned to declare unto them the whole counsel of God Acts 20.27 And our Saviour doth mainly comfort himself as having hid or kept back nothing given in charge to him Psal 40.9 10 11. Loe I have not refrained my Lips O Lord thou knowest I have not hid thy Righteousness within my heart I have not concealed thy loving kindness and thy truth with-hold not thou thy tender mercies from me 6. If the Cause and Honour of God call for a publique testimony no one in his way may innocently with-hold it however mean be his capacity Children therefore in Christ's day were called forth to it and justified in it Mat. 21.15 16. And when offence was took on a like occasion he tells them that if those should hold their peace the stones would immediately cry out Eccl. 3.7 You see then that there is a time to speak as well as keep silence happy he that hits his time and he that heeds it will hardly miss it or if he does shall the more easily be excused it We commonly say that little said is soon amended true but yet for not speaking as well as not doing in some cases we may be condemned It is therefore our duty to rouze our Tongue when it is sluggish as well as hold it in where it is lavish calling upon it as he Psal 57.8 Awake up my Glory or as you have another instance Judges 5.12 Awake Awake Deborah Awake Awake utter a Song 2. The second extreme to be avoided is Loquacity or over-much speaking a fault many are incident to through the levity of their temper and looseness of their Tongues and it is a very hard task for them to talk much and talk well He is peremptory Prov. 10.19 that in the multitude of words there wants not sin And I suppose he speaks modestly and that he means that there is a great deal of sin But let our Query be Quest When any one may be said to talk too much Some few of many instances take as follows 1. When talking excludes thinking the Tongue out-runs the wit a little of this talk is too much as being to no purpose but to betray our folly abuse our Brother's patience and waste precious time One may talk to Children at this rate to save a needless expence of sense where there is but little but it is an intolerable presumption upon men to entertain them with words morecrude than our belches that we fetch not so low as our breath and that little differ from an Asse's braying 2. When it will not give way to hearing especially when wiser and better men be present If they were inferior and weaker it were meet they should be allowed their turns every one may be supposed to have brought something wherewith the whole might be edified in ingrossing all the talk to thy self thou art chargeable with unseemly vaunting thou art in the ready way to emptying there is no hope of thy replenishing go hoop and hallow in the Woods if thou wilt be answered only by thy own Eccho Proud men and passionate men are apt so to offend they have no ears and so are unlike to edifie and for any thing they are like to get had as good keep out of Company Mark advice of
so he must minister the same to the souls and bodies of others 1 Pet. 4.10 Jam. 2.15.16 1 Joh. â— 13 If a brother or a sister be naked and destitute of daily food and one of you say unto them Go in peace he you warmed and filled notwithstanding you give them not the things that are needful to the body what doth it profit A man would find little profit in it himself if he should feed himself only with good words and wishes True love is not in Word and Tongue only but in Deed and in Truth Contrary to this endeavouring others good is to stand up in the way and stop the passage wherein good should flow in upon them and to be (a) Invidentia est aeg iâ—udo iuscepta p opter alterius res secundas quae nihil nocent invidenti Cic. Tuâ—t qu. l. 4. envious at the prosperity of others if they be able without our help to attain it Many men think themselves not well unless it be ill with others (b) Novum ac inaestimabile nunc in plutimis malum est parum alicui est si ipse sit felix nisi alter sec in infelix Salvianus de Gub. Dei it is not enough for them to be happy unless they see their brethren miserable 2. We have seen now in what things we do and may shew love to our selves we come now to speak of the manner of loving our selves and to shew that after the same manner we ought to love others also 1. We do or should love our selves holily i. e. in and for God we may not have a divided interest from God though God allows us to love our selves it must be in order to him and to his Glory Our love to our selves as it must be regulated by the will of God and extended or restrained according to that So God must be our utmost end in it whether it be exercised about the obtaining things temporal or spiritual for body or soul Salvation it self although it be our end must not be our last or utmost end but that God by it as by all things else may be glorified Therefore in this manner we must love others as God hath an interest in them and is or may be glorified by them and there is no man in the world but God is or may be glorified by him Every man is a creature upon whose Soul there is in a sort the Image of God and doth him some service in the place wherein he stands Isa 44.28 and 45.1 God calleth Cyrus a heathen his Shepherd and his Anointed and he did him eminent service in his generation The same may be said of every other man in some degree and proportion God hath given him some gifts whereby he is and may be serviceable to him at least in the affairs of his providential kingdom Besides all men having immortal souls within them are capable of blessedness with God for ever in the kingdom of Glory they who are at present enemies to God may be reconciled and made friends what was the most glorious Saint now in heaven but an enemy to God once when here on earth We our selves saith the Apostle were sometime foolish disobedient deceived Tit. 33.4 serving divers lusts and pleasures living in malice and envy hateful and hating one another but after that the kindness and love of God our Saviour toward man appeared not by works of righteousness which we have done but according to his mercy he saved us by the washing of regeneration and renewing of the Holy Ghost Obj. How could David then say do not I hate them O Lord that hate thee and am I not grieved with these that rise up against thee Psal 139.21.22 I hate them with a perfect hatred He says that he hated them perfectly and approves himself to God in the thing Do not I hate them O Lord Ans There is a twofold hatred Odium simplex Odium redundans in personam as the Schooles speak a simple hatred and a hatred redounding to the person A simple hatred which is of the Sin of any man is our duty Psal 97.10 ye that love the Lord hate evil but to hate the Person of the sinner would be our sin as we are to abhor that which is evil Rom. 12.9 so we must cleave to that which is good David who was a man after Gods own heart knew how to distinguish between the sin and the person See how he expresseth himself elsewhere I hate the work of them that turn aside not them but the work of them Psal 101.3 he hated their sin saying it shall not cleave to me Hear him again I hate every false way this shews us plainly Psal 119.104 that he hated sin perfectly he hated sin so as that it should not cleave to him he hated it where ever he found it Every false way For what is perfect hatred Austin describes it very well He est perfecto odio odisse ut nec homines propter vitia oderis nec vitia propter homines diligas This is to hate with perfect hatred not to hate men for their Sins sake nor to love the sin for the mens sake This is one manner how we ought to love our Neighbour as our selves it must be holily 2. Our love to our selves is or should be orderly we must first and chiefly love our souls and then our bodies The Soul is of far greater worth than the body A world of things for the body will stand a man in no stead if his soul be lost and where the soul goes either to a place of bliss or torment the body must follow after and therefore when we are charged to take heed to our selves we are charged to keep our souls diligently only take heed to thy self Deut. 4 9. and keep thy soul diligently if the soul be safe all is safe if the soul be lost all is lost In like manner we ought to love our Neighbour we must desire and endeavour that it may be well with him in every respect both as to his body and outward estate but chiefly that his Soul may prosper and his outward concerns as they may be consistent with that third Epistle John ver 2. I wish above all things that thou mayst prosper and be in health as thy soul prospereth 1. We must seek the conversion of those that are unconverted lest their souls be lost for ever If we can be instrumental in this we shew the greatest love imaginable to give a man bread when he is hungry or cloathing when he is naked is somthing but to convert a soul to God is a greater kindness by much Brethren Jam. 5 19.20 if any of you do err from the truth and one convert him let him know that he which converteth a sinner from the error of his way shall save a soul from death He speaks of it as a great thing when he says Let him know that he
the more conspicuous and glorious Hence are those commendations of grace where it is in any eminency So great faith no not in Israel Mat. 8.10 O woman great is thy faith Mat. 15.28 The Scriptures do exhort us to grow in every grace Let these things be in you and abound 2 Pet. 1.8 1 Thess 4.1 More and more we can never have too much Paul prayes Rom. 15.13 that we may abound in hope Presumption does not lye in having too high thoughts of the mercy of God in Christ for that is infinite beyond all our conceptions but in a vain expectation of that from God which is inconsistent with his justice and holiness and contrary to his revealed will 't is not the Great hope but the Groundless hope that is presumption therefore tell the Devil to his face thou wilt hope more and more Psal 71.14 That thy hope is a growing hope so far from being too great that thou dost judge it yet too little daily praying for its further increase this is the way to quench those fiery darts We may observe that when temptations do work so contrary to the Devils intentions that instead of drawing us into evil they incite us to more watchfulness and prove occasions of good and provocations to duty they presently vanish and die the Devil would have it so and usually it is so unless God by a special hand do continue us under them for the further exercise of grace 2. If thy Hope be small and weak the Devil will call it Despair he would make thee believe a little grace is no grace he will argue from thy weakness in grace to thy total want of it If under such temptation thou findest thy spirit sinking ready to faint away rouze up thy self and bespeak thy Soul as David did Why art thou cast down O my soul and take these following directions 1. Consider it is not the degree of grace but the truth of grace to which Salvation is promised 2. Put a just value and estimate upon the lowest degree of grace that it may not seem contemptible and as nothing in thy sight 't is more worth than the whole world a pearl of great price 3. Labour to distinguish aright between the weakness of thy grace and the grace it self that is under that weakness and whilest thou art mourning under one be sure you rejoyce in the other do not throw away one corn with the chaff do not sweep up one groat with the dust behind the door but light thy candle and find it out don't bury thy talent because 't is a single one but be faithful over a little and thou shalt be made ruler over many things Mat. 15.21 4. Consider the many promises that are made to the lowest degree of grace if there be any good thing in thy heart towards the Lord thy God he accepts of the Will for the Deed of the day of small things he will not quench the smoaking flax nor break the bruised reed to whom little is given of them little is requir'd the widow's mite is a great deal in the account of God Therefore think and judg of thy self not according to any thing inherent in thee be it more or less but according to the measure of acceptance thou hast with God 't is his kindness that makes thee great 2 Sam. 22.36 his favour is better than life if he hath wrought that in thee which is beautiful in his fight why should you so much except against his workmanship as to blot all out again drawing the black lines of dismal despair upon the comely features of true and saving hope though weak and small for the present the high esteem God hath of the lowest degree of true grace in his Saints should make them not to droop so much under it but rather be better pleased with what God is so well pleased with 5. Consider how ill God takes it of his children when they suffer them selves to be perswaded by the Devil out of all good liking and esteem of those smaller measures of grace that God hath given them when they are brought out of conceit of themselves and of every thing that God hath done for them as if their case were now desperate Why saist thou O Jacob and speakest O Israel my way is hid from the Lord and my judgment is passed over from my God Isa 40.27 Let me speak my thoughts out My brethren to deny the least measure of grace in us or to us against plain demonstrations and evidences brought to convince us of it is a kind of denying Christ himself which we would be loath to be guilty of for a thousand worlds and yet may not Christ say I have sent in provision into such a soul and have often invited my self to come and sup with him I have come into my garden to gather my myrrh and to eat of my pleasant fruits which my own hand had planted there Cantic 5.1 But I had no entertainment no welcome they would be known of nothing that ever they had from me plead nothing but poverty and bare walls and did I not know it to be otherwise that I have laid in a sufficiency of grace and that there is that in the house which I love and could feed heartily upon I should not take it ill that they set nothing before me but 't is great unkindness not to give me of my own not to entertain me at my own cost but to tell me to my face that all my fruit is rotten fruit all my meat unsavoury meat all my wine adulterated wine nothing fit for them or me to feed upon all is stark nought they are never the better for any thing I have yet done for them to seek of every thing their faith is dead their hope is presumption or else quite vanished into despair their love is cold and false every grace is counterfeit Christ must needs take this very ill many of the Children of God are greatly guilty in this thing I would press this consideration upon those who do too too much indulge themselves in these despondencies still multiplying objections against themselves and meditating evasions how to put off Christ and the promises how to distinguish themselves out of the favour of God I know there is a great deal of pity and commiseration due to such but when other meanes will not prevail they must not take it ill if we endeavour to fright them out of their fears and doubts telling them plainly what an offence what an affront it is to Christ to have all his kindnesses overlook'd and slighted as nothing worth by a froward habitual querulous scrupulosity which is jealous of every thing but it self 6. When the Devil is urging thee to conclude thy weak hope to be down-right Despair instead of disputing with the Devil about the truth of any grace labour through the help of the Spirit to act it in that degree which thou hast attained then if it be as a