truth Another reason why many Saints were so deceived in those daies as I apprehend was That they being but newly come to the faith were expos'd to great temptations having but little means of strength against them it may be far from a Church or else in a Church where were false Teachers as in those dayes there were very many by reason of which many were deceived whereas others who were as weak if not weaker being in Churches where there were sound Teachers were kept from them which may be a caution as to particular persons to take heed what and whom they hear so to Churches who they permit to be Teachers and not to suffer any unsound doctrine to be taught It may also be a word of remembrance to all that do enjoy this great mercy to have sound and faithful Teachers highly to esteem them for their works sake and to account such worthy of double honour giving them all due respect and encouragement that they may do their work with joy and not with grief according to Hebrews 13. 17. 1 Thessal 5. 12 13. 1 Timothy 5. 17. Other reasons may be given for the Saints mistake in those things but I shall mention no more intending only my own experience For I can truly say that upon a diligent search and enquiry what might be the cause of my own mistakes I find them to be no other but these very things exprest As First I was weak in principles as indeed I had never been under much means to be otherwise Secondly I am conscious to my self of some extreme in minding truth as it relates to the inward man though truly I know not that I did slight any Ordinance or command of Christ but that I did rather highly esteem of them but not to lessen sin it is possible there may be something of that nature though I know it not Thirdly I am sure I was exposed to great temptations of this kind having little means of strength against them finding so many corrupted though through mercy it is better now that breach being made up with great advantage for which I desire with all Saints to praise the Lord for ever for doubtless the Saints advantage in their enlarged experience and confirmation in the truth is so great by these things that I cannot expres it Again it calls for praise that as the Lord hath turned it to our great advantage so he hath wonderfully disappointed the expectations of the devil and wicked men who were ready to say as in Psa 35. 25. All so would we have it verily concluding that though they could not suppress us by their persecuting power yet now we would destroy our selves as indeed we might have so done had not the Lord prevented and we may say it was the Lords doing and it is marvellous in our eyes And whereas some by reason of those things have been ready to question our practice whether it be of God Let them know that there is no ground from thence to question it seeing it is no more than what hath been in those Churches in the Apostles daies and what they did foretell should be in these daies 1 Corinth 15. 12. 1 Timothy 1. 19. 2 Timothy 2. 18. 2 Peter 2. 12. Acts 20. 30. But if it were a safe ground to judge of truth by what hath appeared in relation to those things then there is more ground of confirmation that what we practise is of God seeing that notwithstanding those things we have been so wonderfully preserved as we are unto this day but though these things may be something as to the ignorant yet yet the rule by which we judge of our practice is only as it hath its ground and rise in holy Scripture being built upon the foundation of the Apostles and Prophets Jesus Christ himself being the chief Corner Stone Therefore it hath never been any scruple at all to me for though some have denyed the Churches and turned their ears from hearing the truth and have turned to fables yet the Churches and truth is the same as God is the same Now as for the grounds or reasons why some of the Saints themselves have so done I shall say nothing because as I said before I intend no more but my own experience and through the mercy of God I was never so far corrupted as to question either the Scriptures Churches or Ordinances of Christ much less to withdraw from them or to give any just occasion to be withdrawn from by them yet notwithstanding I do not in the least question the reality of those poor souls who have been so far overcome and are through mercy again returned and as for such as never return I shall leave them to be judged by the Lord who only is the judge of those that are without 1 Cor. 5. 13. Having thus far considered of these allegorical notions how they are the worst of all errors and the greatest mystery of iniquity in that they are more deceiving than others promising the greatest good but leading directly to the greatest evil and having given some reasons as I judge why the Saints in these daies have been so generally deceived by them I shall further proceed to consider what may be the end of God in permitting it so to be First I conceive it may be in general that such as were approved may be made manifest agreeable to 1 Cor. 11. 9. which accordingly hath been many by those things were made manifest to be approved though others that were not have appeared to be what they are But Secondly and more particularly I believe the Lord had many good ends in it both in relation to himself in relation to them and in relation to others of his people it may be some that are yet unborn First In relation to himself for the exaltation of his praise that when they should come to see how great their deliverance was and what an addition to all their former mercies they might admire his goodness and break forth into the high praises of his name and that all the daies of their lives when this mercy comes into their thoughts For my own particular I can truly say that the mercy of God to me in relation to those things I look upon it as the greatest mercy that ever I received from the Lord next the manifestation of his Love in Jesus Christ through the Gospel But Secondly In relation to them so deceived that they should have enlarged experience of the fulness of God and of their own nothingness and of the sweetness and excellency of truth above error how it doth excell it as far as light excells darkness and live more upon God and less upon themselves in faith and humility and in the increase of all grace in more cleerness of understanding and knowledge of the Truth for doubtless through the goodness of the Lord who hath promised to do his people good by every thing they do gain by it in all these in some measure
for my own particular I must needs say though I am still but weak yet through mercy my gain by those things is so great that I would not be without it though I desire not to purchase any more at that rate Thirdly In relation to others that through their experience they might be the more able to forewarn others who may meet with the like temptations for certainly had the Saints in those daies had that experience of Satans workings in that nature which now they have and had the Mouth of truth been so open against it as it is at this day it would doubtless have prevented much and therefore by the way I must needs say I am perswaded it will be a great aggravation of sin for any to be taken or held by those things when there is so much means to avoid them as through the mercy of God there is in these daies almost in every place Now the Lord having these and other such like ends in permitting those things I desire that my self with others who have experienced them in any measure may be carefull to answer those ends for doubtless if our deliverance be of God and that we are cleerly brought off from those confusions we shall answer all those ends of God in some measure In the next place as to the way and means by which the Lord hath been pleased to recover his people from these things I shall say little because I believe it hath been various some by one means some by another as they were in various Conditions for my own particular I have declared at large how it was with me only these General heads I shall again remind First I was brought into great straits and much confusion in Judgement Secondly the Lord was pleased to withdraw his presence from me Thirdly Being sensible of that confusion and want of communion with God I was put upon enquiry into my own heart what might be the reasons of it Fourthly It pleased the Lord to make me willing to be informed and to examine things by the Scriptures Fifthly he was pleased to draw forth my heart with much earnestness to seek to him by prayer which through great mercy was largely answered And thus I doubt not but by what I have written it will appear that I have not without good grounds both from Scripture and experience Judged those things to be the greated mystery of iniquity and the most dangerous and worst of all errors And here I cannot but mind something further as to the continuation of those things which is as they are the worst of all others so their time is short for according to my most serious observation wherever they come and where they continue longest their rise reign and ruin is all accomplished in a few years for in a short time generally persons have been so confounded that they have either come to see themselves deluded and so have turned from them or else they have run to absolute Atheism and so ended there I shall now only answer one objection as to my own experience and so end this discourse Some have said that I cannot judge of these things by experience because according to what I have declared I never had but little experience of them but only in three or four things and those I could never fully come up to neither in Judgement nor practise neither could I leave these outward things which all must leave before they can see the glory of the inward And those that have not put themselves on such things but were led to them by the Father have and do see that glory This Objection hath specious words but weighed in the ballance of the Sanctuary will be found lighter than vanity with the rest of the like nature which I hope is already made manifest only I shall add a few words by way of Answer First for my Experience as to my self in particular I confess through the mercy of God it was far short of that which many precious ones in those daies fell into yet I can truly say it was so much as did cleerly discover to me the nature and tendency of them all to be so vile that I I do not know any thing that ever I did since I knew God that I can own with more shame to my self than those things Secondly for my experience as to others I have seen and known that sufficiently to satisfy me that there is no such glory in them but a meer delusion but I desire to judge by experience no otherwise than as it hath relation to the holy Scriptures for though I do very highly esteem of Christian experience as to the operations and effects of truth in the soul as indeed it is the very life of Christianity yet as to rule I value one word of Scripture more than all experience and I am sure the Scriptures will not own them which are the rule and touch-stone by which I desire to try and judge all things For that which the Scripture sets up they throw down and that which the Scripture forbids they set up for instance the Scripture exalts the Lord Jesus Christ in all his Actions Offices and Ordinances they set up somthing else in opposition to this calling it fleshly carnal and outward things and for the fathers leading persons to them which words carry indeed a seeming shew of excellency but it s a meer delusion There is no such thing for the Father and Christ are one and what was appointed by Christ was appointed by the Father John 10. 3. 14. 24. and he doth not lead from his own appointments but those that continue in them he will love and he will send his Spirit to them which shall abide with them for ever Joh. 14. 16. and the Father and Christ will come to them and make their abode with them verse 23. I having already written that which may more fully answer this objection shall say no more but desire that all the Lords people may be delivered and kept from such deceivings The sixt Note of Experience in relation to Qualifications the habits of Grace or fruits of the Spirit how and by what means I have and do daily find an increase or decrease in those things TO make way for me to lay down my thoughts as to gracious qualifications I shall first consider the severall kinds of qualifications which I conceive may be three 1. Moral 2. Legal 3. Gospel By Moral I mean such as are from Moral dictates meerly from nature Civility breeding or education By Legal I mean such as are from legal dictates meerly from fear of wrath without any cleer apprehensions of the free grace of God in the Gospel But here I desire to be very tender judging that it is possible there may be some seeds of the Gospell sowen in such hearts by which those qualifications may be wrought though as yet it may not appear neither to themselves nor others that they have received
the Gospel this only as to possibilities for ordinarily it is not so But thirdly by Gospel qualifications I mean such as are from Gospel dictates from a cleer apprehension of the free grace of God therein being constrained from the Love of Christ and in obedience to the commands and authority of Christ the soul giving up it self in all things to be like him such as are wrought by the Gospel and spirit received they and they only are the fruits of the spirit but as for those other qualifications persons that are ignorant of the Gosspel and have not received the Spirit may be eminent in them which indeed for that they have such a resemblance of the fruits of the Spirit are great ornaments as to appearance though as to inward glory they do many times prove miserable ornaments being props and staies that keep such persons from coming to Christ and as it was said of the Pharisees Mat. 21. 31. Publicans and Harlots do enter into the Kingdome rather than they and this I have experienced that as to my receiving Christ upon Gosspel terms there was nothing so hard to me as to lay aside all those qualifications as I have already exprest in my third and fourth notes of experiences Now for the fruits of the spirit what they are is expressed both in general and particular terms in general Ephes 5. 9. the fruits of the spirit is in all goodness righteousness and truth more particularly Gal. 5. 22 23. the fruit of the spirit is Love Joy Peace Long suffering Gentleness Goodness Faith Meekness Temperance c. also there are other things expressed in other terms in Scriptures which doubtless are likewise fruits of the spirit though I think with submission to better Judgements all others are included in these whether it be self denyal patience humility or the like These things are excellent ornaments which do adorn Christians in the eyes of men and do redound much to the glory of God and therefore very considerable for Saints to press after them by all means I must confess that in the viewing of my own heart I have many times been much grieved to see how short I come in all these things but especially in some of them yet through grace I can say I have received a measure of them all and by experience do know if my heart deceive me not wherein I am weak and wherein strong and though I am sure in those in which I am strongest I am but weak considering how I ought to be Now I shall speak a little how and by what means according to my experience and as I judge according to Scripture rule these things do increase or decrease in Saints First I conceive they increase and are strengthened by a close walking with God in all spiritual duties especially private duties meditation self-examination self-watching self-judging self-humbling and prayer which are indeed such duties as no hypocrite can truly do not that these private duties are above publick but that they prepare for publick and by these we are acquainted with our own hearts come to know wherein we are weak and wherin strong what we have received and what we want and so how to apply our selves to God in publick and private for the subduing of such a corruption or for the supply of such or such a grace and this according to my experience as I have walked more or less close with God in these private duties so is my profit in publique duties and my strength in qualifications the habits of grace more or less and I am confident that such persons as are strangers to these private duties are also strangers to their own hearts and will not make any great progress in Christianity for in the omission of these we are subject to be exercised in things contrary which do very much interrupt our communion with God and so weaken the power of every grace in us or rather weaken the power of grace in all its effects for these things are not properly graces but the effects of grace which are various and so improperly call'd graces as when we do not daily humble our selves before the Lord we are subject to exalt our selves before men and when we do not watch our own hearts and judge our selves we are subject to be judging others and to watch over them in an evil way when we do not dayly meditate on those excellent qualifications that were in Christ himself we are subject to see little loveliness in them and so having a light esteem of them not to press after them whereas we are to imitate him in all these things according to Mat. 11. 28 29. But secondly The habits of grace or fruits of the spirit do increase or decrease as we do more or less exercise that measure of them already received and every particular grace is increased by the exercise of it self and so by much exercise I mean by dayly acts they do as it were become natural as it is said of Timotheus Phi. 2. 20. and the exercise of faith doth directly lead us to the fountain of grace in beholding of which glory of God we are changed into the same image 1 Cor. 3. 18. there is such a transforming nature in it that the very beholding of it transforms us into the same likeness Rom. 12. 2. and I can truly say from blessed experience that in the exercise of that measure of grace I have received thus leading me to behold the Lord Jesus in what he hath done for me I have found it more advantagious for the destroying of corruption and for the strengthening me in those things than in any other means whatsoever and the reason why many persons do sit a long time in the profession of truth and yet continue weak ignorant barren and fruitless branches it is because as they are remiss in private duties so they do not exercise that measure of grace received and so by a heedless careless carnall walking the heart grows carnal and their is rather a decrease than increase in all spiritual strength But some will say can any do these things of themselves and doth not God give grace freely both in and after conversion To which I answer yea but in the work of conversion we are passive I mean as to inward spiritual activity we can do nothing being dead according to Ephes 2. 1. 2 Cor. 5. 14. Joh. 5. 25. not excluding those duties which God requires from all as hearing the Gospel reading c. through which God hath promised to convey spiritual life Esay 55. 3. Rom. 10. 17. but after conversion we are active and therefore commanded to keep our selves in the love of God Jude 12. To add to our faith vertue to vertue knowledge c. 2 Pet. 1. 5. with many other such like Scriptures Not that we are sufficient of our selves to do any thing as of our selves but our sufficiis of God 2 Cor. 3. 5. who is pleased to give in
CHOICE EXPERIENCES OF The kind dealings of God before in and after CONVERSION Laid down in six general Heads Together with Some brief Observations upon the same Whereunto is added a description of true E X P E R I E N C E. By J. TURNER wife to Cap. John Turner PSALM 66. 16. Come and hear all ye that fear God and I will declare what he hath done for my soul LONDON Printed by H. Hils and are to be sold at the Black spread-Eagle and the Three Bibles at the West end of Pauls 1653. To the Churches of Christ who worship God in spirit and truth according to the holy Commandments of Jesus Christ especially those my dear Brethren at Newcastle Barwick and Scotland with whom I have taken sweet counsel in the house of God for several years past grace mercy truth and peace be multiplied from the Lord Jesus Christ. PRECIOUS and dearly beloved Brethren I know it would seem very strange to you if this following Treatise should come to your hands without my publick owning of it as indeed well it might considering my neer relation to the Author it is no small joy to my heart that the Lord is pleased in these our daies any way by any means to put his People in mind of that which they are so prone to forget namely the various workings of God in their poor hearts which you will find in this small Treatise in these three generall heads viz. before in and since Conversion we find the Lord in Scripture often calling upon his People to remember their unconverted state Isaiah 51. 1. Look unto the Rock whence ye are hewen and to the holy of the Pit whence ye are digged And the Lord knowing our great inclination to forget it he is pleased to mind us of it as in Eph. 5. 8. 1 Cor. 6. 10 11. Tit. 3. 3. Eph. 2. 1 2 3. c. The right remembrance of our unconverted state will be a means to engage our hearts to be much in the thoughts of and highly to prise that unspeakable love and grace of our God through Iesus in quickning us who were dead in trespasses and sins in translating us from the Kingdome of darkness into the Kingdome of his dear Son the serious pondering of these things in our hearts will sweetly force us to break forth into admiration with the Apostle 1 Ioh. 3. 1 2. Behold what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us that we should be call'd the sons of God c. but when we forget the two former we lose our communion with God in a great measure and cannot prise and improve the kind dealings of our God with us since Conversion neither walk holily and obediently before the Lord in all his holy appointments as we ought but leave an open door for Satan to deceive us with his manifold tentations by which we suffer much harm My hearts desire and prayer to the Lord is that he would give all his people more care and diligence in watching their own hearts and waies for the increase of their spiritual strength and growth in grace lest they being led away for a time with the error of the wicked fall from their own stedfastness 2 Pet. 3. 17 18. as many have done to their greatest grief and loss Beloved Brethren you have here the labours of one of the weakest sex which I trust will occasion you the more to give glory to God in that his strength appears in weakness were it not for the relation I should have much room to speak of the Author and this Her work but I shall only say Let Her works praise Her only I have this that I cannot but say it was not Her desire to publish it Her reasons She hath expressed Secondly So far as one can speak for another I can say for my Wife in this vvork she hath had little help from men or things but I believe much from the Lord and as the Lord hath ovvned and much assisted her in these her great labors I trust the same povver vvill accompany each precious heart into vvhose hand it may come to make it very profitable to them At my first sight of it which was when it was neer finished though I believe I was the first that saw it next Her self I was so surprized knowing nothing of it before that I knew not what to say of it but upon consideration and reviewing of it I was very much pressed in spirit to publish it and the more in that the oftner I read it the more I was ingaged to it I can say through mercy it hath been usefull and profitable to me I hope it will be so to many more It is no small mercy nor low attainment to be indeed an experienced Christian it is easier to have fine words than a treasure in the heart but seeing the kings daughter is all glorious within and that our treasure there doth increase by the blessing of the Lord upon our diligent using that means ordained for that end this I trust will be a faithfull remembrancer and helper of us in this great work in which I hope the Lord will have much glory and his people comfort which hath been is and I trust ever shall be the earnest desire of Your poor unworthy Brother in the Gospel JOHN TURNER To the Reader Reader THou wilt find in this little Book something suitable to those various changes and differing conditions that ordinarily poor souls are in both before in and after conversion only excepting a high degree of visible profaness and excess of riot with heart hand and tongue blaspheming the holy One of Israel in an unconverted State The Author was kept from that great degree of wickedness as you will find in the beginning of Her book If this shall come into the hāds of any that yet live in those pollutions and abominable corruptions the Lord teach them to consider that if Civility and Morality be too low and too little to stand the Soul in any stead in that day when God will judge the secrets of all men by Jesus Christ Surely then sin and profaness will be a miserable covering This little Treatise is not intended principally for such Ishmaelites but rather for those who have their faces Zion ward enquiring the way thither as also to such as have a name and place where the honor of God dwells to all such I may say as an incouragement to peruse this little Treatise First as to the nature of it its that which hath been digested and it may well be called Experience it may be likned to the Wine that Christ made of water at the end of the Mariage-Feast being last it was better than the first though doubtles the first wine was good So I hope thou wilt find these few lines though good at the first yet better at the latter end it being the privilege of Saints to have their last works best and as they grow in years to grow
would save or damn me at last I knew not neither did I think it possible for me ever to have known that except it were by some extraordinary way which very few did attain unto But by degrees I began to stay upon some promises through such considerations as these first I thought it could not stand with the goodness of God to damn a poor soul that had such heart-workings and desires after him as I had having much in my thoughts those words of Sampsons Mother Judges 13. 23. I thought that if he did intend to destroy me he would never have given me such desires after him preserved me till now and then that promise Mat. 5. 6. did much support me for I thought that if ever poor creature did hunger and thirst after righteousness I did these promises and considerations with some confused apprehensions that I had concerning the Lord Jesus did much raise me the thoughts I had of him were such as these I did believe that the Justice of God must be satisfied for sin and that nothing could satisfy his justice but a perfect righteousnesse now I thought I was to be very strict and circumspect in all my waies if it were possible to perform such a righteousnesse but what I could not do Christ had done for me and when I had done any thing that I thought was sin I could not apply Christ till I had repented that was till I had mourned fasted and prayed afflicting my self in such a measure as I thought might stand with the not destroying or prejudicing nature for there God would have mercy rather than sacrifice and Jesus Christ would make up that which was wanting so that Christ was my stay though it was through a very carnal and wrong apprehension But though I thought I must be so qualified and fitted for Christ before I could receive him and be made happy by him yet I knew there was no mercy to be found without him nor no life but in him In this conditiō I lived some years more and grew very cheerful confident as I think it was possible to be under such an apprehension but yet my confidence was alwaies more or lesse as I was more or less strict in my waies and sometimes though I had been never so strict yet I was subject to fear left I had not done as much as it was possible for me to do for otherwaies I thought Christ would be nothing at all to me yet my hopes were greater than my fears and I was resolved if I perished I would perish here at the feet of Christ and now I did not only see that possible which before I thought impossible but I had great hopes and much confidence most times This apprehension though it be that which is far below the glory of the free grace of God in the Gospel yet it did present Christ very lovely to me and did produce in me a real love to him as I dare not but so judge considering how I stood affected to and delighted in whatever I knew to be his will Though I must confess I think at the first the great wheel that carryed all about was my own good yet I am very confident that at this time I had a real love to delight in the Lord Jesus Christ and his commandements were not grievous to me but I did approve of them to be the most excellent things because approved of by the Lord and I well remember I was so far taken off from delighting in sin that I think I may say I did hate it with a perfect hatred as that which was in it self the only object of hatred as it was against God and all my delight was to be with those that I thought did excell in vertue and I could not bear wicked persons but their waies and practices were odious to me yet still I say my condition at this time was a condition of extreme bondage and below the Gospel I shall say no more of it but only this that what I have here written I think I may say is not the hundredth part of the labors and travells of my soul whiles I lived in that condition and if I should go about to write it all I know not how nor when to make an end But God was pleased in mercy to free me from that bondage by the manifestation of his love and grace through his Son to whom be all praise and glory for ever more Amen Some brief Observations from this second note of Experience FIrst Concerning the person by whom my experience in these things began which was one as I iudge not rightly called or sent to preach the Gospel he not being related to a true Church though otherwise I hope a godly man according to that measure of light he had received From whence I observe That it is possible for a godly man in times of ignorance and darkness to be a Minister of a false Church Secondly I observe That though it be not the work of a false Ministery neither is it the way of God to convert souls by yet accidentally or providentially somthing may be done that way by them especially in times of persecution where there is not a true Ministry abroad as indeed I am much inclined to own the work of conversion to be begun in me at this time and that for these reasons First because now was the day of Gods power no◠only to make me willing but there was some change wrought in the whole soul and every faculty of it which before was dead had now some life and motion in things relating to God and godliness as the understanding was opened so the will was changed and made willing to submit to truth and to imbrace the waies of life though it were through the greatest difficulty yet in much darkness and then the affections were taken and though there were but a little glimps of truth appeared yet there was a love to it and delight in it and a great hatred of the contrary all which I apprehend could not be but from some seeds of the Gospel though through false teaching there was not that blessed fruit of ioy and peace in believing also the Memory was active and busie to retain truth so that here was some change wrought in the whole soul as aforesaid A second reason is because when I lay under conviction of sin by the Law and was ready to sink under my burthen that which did suport and uphold my spirit was the Lord Jesus Christ though my apprehensions of him were not according to the Gospel as to the glory of the free grace therein contained A third reason is from the consideration of that fruit which did appear at that time which was an intire love to Christ and a conversation suitable thereunto according to the light then received For there was not only a doing good but a love to it and delight in it and there was not only a forbearing evil
the same though in our Judgement we cannot so own them which is a plain contradiction in our principles we say they are not Churches and Ministers of Christ by our practice we say they are as hath been minded Secondly As it is a contradiction of our own principles so it hath had such effects which are too visible and remains unto this day I must confess in my most serious thoughts I have wondered what should be the reason that any in the house of God should desire to be elsewhere I am sure there is no reason to be given for it neither from Scripture nor experience therefore I conclude it s either from ignorance so persons in their practice cross their own principles and not know it or else it s from corrupt principles or else they are overcome by some violent temptations As to the 1. of these I trust there are not many in the house of God so ignorant As to the 2. it is the desire of my soul that God would reprove shew them the evill of such principles and recover them out of such snares As to the 3. Let them take heed lest having put their hand to the plow and looking back they become unfit for the Kingdom of God Luke 9. 62. and let them likewise take heed of pleasing men or halting between two opinions but if God be God follow him if Baal follow him 1 Kings 28 21. This may seem harsh language to some but I am satisfyed that what I have written hath not been from a censorious spirit to Judge of the final State of any or to question the grace of God in any where it doth appear in the least measure and therefore let none say that because I cannot own any to be true Churches or Ministers of Christ but such as are in the same order with us that therefore I say there is nothing of God or Truth in them or that none shall be saved but our selves or that we love none but those of our own Judgement which if any do so think or speak of us it is a very great mistake for if I may speak for others as I have already said I do upon a godly account love and delight in some who are not in our Churches and do wait for the accomplishment of those glorious promises when they and we shall have a pure language shall call upon the Lord serve him with one consent and when we shall have one heart and one way and there shall be one Lord and his name one Zeph. 3. 9. Jer. 32. 39. Zach. 14. 9. In the mean time Let none under a pretence of waiting for the accomplishment of such promises as these grow cold and indifferent in the great things of God For none can truly wait for the accomplishment of Promises but such as do wait in a close walking with God according to that measure of light received and so those that have but a little of the knowledge of God let them follow on to know the Lord Hosea 6. 3. and let those that are in the faith earnestly contend for it Jude 3. and such as are in Gospel Churches let them stand fast in one Spirit with one mind striving together for the faith of the Gospel Phil. 1. 27. and let every one that names the name of Christ depart from iniquity 2 Timothy 2. 19. and those that love the Lord hate evil Psalm 97. 10. And as I desire that none may slight grow cold or indifferent in the great things of God under a pretence of waiting for high enjoyments or discoveries which shall be in the later daies so I desire likewise that none may plead against the Truth under a pretence of Love as many do in these daies labouring to confound light with darkness truth with error and to make an agreement where God hath made none Let such know that true spiritual love as it is wrought in the heart by the Spirit of God so it is bounded within the limits of Truth Love and Truth go hand in hand it is so fixed upon God that it Loves all in and for him spiritual Love must have a spiritual object and as the obiect is more or less visible so is that Love it cannot love every thing alike nay it works as well by hatred of evill as approving that which is good Psa 101. Psa 97. 10. Rev. 2. 6. Psa 119. 122 128. It loves that which God loves and hates that which he hates it loves the Word of God the Ordinances of God and the people of God and hates all that is in opposition to these it rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth 1 Cor. 13. 6. This is true spiritual love in which we are to receive every truth and by which faith worketh 2 Thes 2. 10. Gal. 5. 6. and I dare affirm whatever persons may pretend of spiritual love that is not of this nature it is a meer delusion and that all that fear the Lord ought to take heed of it The fift Note of Experience concerning Notions and Pretended Spiritualities in which Satan transforms himself into an Angel of light and how far I was deceived by it and how the Lord was pleased to recover me out of it BEing now through much mercy brought out of Babylon into Sion to partake of those dainties which the Lord hath prepared for his people there Satan that grand Enemy of mankind who goeth about like a roaring Lion seeking whom he may devour 1 Pet. 5. 8. envies my happiness and waites his opportunitie to catch me as a fish in the water covering his hook with a bait of mystery and spirituality who though I had escaped him in all his former appearances as a devill yet now transforms himself into an Angel of light if it were possible for ever thereby to beguile and deceive me knowing that those that are so deceived are the fittest Agents to promote his Kingdome and that many times he prevailes this way when he can prevail no other way drawing persons to that by degrees through corrupt principles which they would have trembled at the thoughts of before they had such principles but God was pleased not onely to keep me from such things but also discover to me the way by which persons are brought to such things that so to the praise of his Grace I might avoid those waies and also forewarn others to avoid them likewise But before I was brought to discover Satan under these veiles by hearkning to the voice of the Tempter in the thoughts of which I desire ever to be humbled in the presence of God I was deceived and beguiled by him in some particular things and that after this manner after we had lived some time in London walking with the Church in the practice of the Gospel it pleased God to remove our habitation into the Country where we had not that privilege and after a while my Husband being in the Army it occasioned our
dayly supplies and in the dayly exercise of what we have to give us more yet all of grace freely and so grace for grace as appears in the 1. of John 6. yet notwithstanding all that I have written I judge that its possible some Saints may be very diligent in the use of all means for the subduing of some particular corruptions and for the supply of some particular grace and yet not attain it but God is pleased to withhold it from them and lest they should be to much exalted to leave some corruption for them to strive and struggle with it may be as long as they live which for ought I know was Pauls very case 2 Cor. 12. 8. and the Lord may exercise one grace in us by the want of another yea all by the want of one not that Saints are without all in their nature but as to a greater measure in some particulars and so far as I have experienced this though I am still subject to suspect my own diligence in the use of means I can truly say That God is never wanting in such cases with supports from himself saying my grace is sufficient for thee my power is made manifest in weakness 2 Cor. 12. 9. and though sin be in you it shall shall not reign there neither shall it have dominion over you because yea are not under the law but under Grace Rom. 6. 11 12 1â— I shall say no more now of these things but beg of God that my self with all Saints may press more after them The Conclusion HAving thus far writtenof my Experience in several general heads which do include many particular Experiments I had some thoughts to have written of many other things but my Book being almost full I shall conclude with a few lines as to Experience it self what it is how and by what means it is attained There be various things about which persons may be exercised in way of Experience yet all may be divided under one of these two heads it s either in relation to the world or in relation to God as to that of the World it s all but vanity and vexation of spirit Eccl. 1. 14. and he that uncreaseth knowledge in those things increaseth sorrow verse 18. and though there may be something of that nature convenient for Saints to know upon a natural or civil account it s but perishing at best and therefore too low for them to spend much of their precious time and thoughts about It s their privilege to have inlarged experience in the great things of God things that are lasting and durable to eternity and as godly persons may have experience in some things of the world so carnal persons may have experience of the dealings of God in some things as to many outward blessings and deliverances by a common hand of providence in which they do many times so bless themselves as if they were highly in favour with God when the Lord knows it is no such thing but it may be they have their portion in this life and are delivered from a lesser to be reserved to a greater destruction But as to Experience from a truesanctified knowledge or special work of the Spirit of God they are altogether strangers to it 1 Cor. 2. 14. its only the privilege of Saints to be eminent in that and indeed it s a privilege so great that I desire for ever to bless the Lord that he hath made me who am so unworthy in any measure to partake of it for things meerly historical or traditional will vanish and come to nothing and so far as we partake of truth not onely in its principles as to the understanding of it from Scripture rule but also in its experience as to the effects and operations of it in our hearts so far it will stand us instead and so far do we attain true wisdome and no farther and indeed as to the effects and operations of it in the heart it is the very life of Christianity yet as to rule for the receiving of any principle one word of Scripture is more worth than all our experience and as to the avoiding of evil its better to learn that any way than by the experience of it for so it s the school of fools yet wise men have so learned in some things now according to my understanding experience is more than a bare knowledge it is either a begetter or an effect of knowledge and hath alwaies relation to some rule whether it be in natural or spiritual things if in natural things it must answer a rule of nature if in spiritual it must answer a spiritual rule and the holy Scripture is that rule by which all Christian experience must be tried according to the Lords own appointment Esa 8. 20. and all must answer some rule therein exprest or implyed by rule in this sense I mean the Scriptures declaring the same thing and as it must answer a rule in it self so answerable to that knowledge and understanding which persons have in the rule so is the measure of their experience For though some persons have much knowledge as to principles and but little experience yet none can have experience of that they do not understand either in a principle before they had that experience or else they have learned that principle by experience for as I said before all experience is either an effect of knowledge or by it we learn knowledge otherwise it cannot be experience this I mind the rather because some persons do please themselves with a conceited experience though ignorant in the principles of truth when there cannot be such a thing I must confess I have been grieved to hear such persons speak of their experience when it doth appear to me as it is said of some that would be Preachers of the Law 1 Tim. 1. 7. they know not what they say nor whereof they affirm and these are two sorts of persons first such as through ignorance of the Scriptures do imagine that to be Christian experience which doth not answer a rule of Scripture but is contrary thereto 2. Such as from corrupt principles will set up their experience above or equal to the authority of Scripture as to give a being to institutions or to make it a rule to judge and try all things yea the very Scripture it self when both it and they must be judged therby Rom. 2. 16. There is much corrupt experience in the world and persons have been as much mistaken in their experience especially in these daies as in any thing I know and no marvel when they leave the Scriptures as to rule walk by the uncertain rule of their own experience which many times is nothing but the vision of their own brains yet notwithstanding the great mistakes of many through corrupt experience yet true Christian experience is as excellent as ever and that as I said before is more than a bare knowledge it is truth brought home to
the heart with life and power by the Spirit of God conforming the soul in all things to the will of God being united to Christ by faith and so by it we learn many things First by experience we find the word of God daily accomplished in us and are confirmed in our faith and hope for experience worketh hope Rom. 5. 4. by it we come to be acquainted with our own hearts and are not so easily deceived by them by experience we learn how to use our spiritual armor Eph. 6. 12 13 14. for offence and defence against the wiles of the devil not being ignorant of his devises 2 Cor. 2. 11. by it we learn wisdom as to the exercise of all spiritual gifts and do know what we have received and what we want in a measure and what will help or hinder a gracious frame in us also by it we learn wisdom as to the profiting by all conditions and as to the answering of all relations and in all these persons do many times do that for want of experience which after they have more they are ashamed of what they have done and according to that measure of it which through grace I have attain'd I have often thought that a large experienced Christian doth as far excell and differ from such as have but little experience as a man differs from a child and may say as Iob did I have heard of thee by the hearing of the ear but now mine eyes see thee Job 42. 5. and because experience is a thing so excellent every one would be eminent in it or at least they would be thought to be so when the truth is there are but few that do take a right course to attain it Now for the way and means by which it is attained I shall give my thoughts 1. I conceive its the fruit of much Christian labour after long continuance in the truth and being 〈…〉 various conditions But 2. and chiefly I apprehend it is attained by serious observation and meditation for though persons may have much knowledge as to the principles of truth and may continue long in the profession of it and may be exercised under many changes yet if they are not serious in their observations but things come and go with them and they not regard it they will never attain to much experience whereas it may be some that are more serious and observing that have not bin so long in the truth or so exercised 〈◊〉 have more 〈◊〉 than they as some children will learn more in a moneth than others in a year but this is not ordinary for though persons may be long in the truth and have but little experience yet such as are newly come to the faith cannot have much though never so observing for which cause young Christians are not to be chosen Church-officers being subject to be soon overcome by temptations also let young Christians especially Be swift to hear and slow to speak Iam. 1. 19. and be more swift to hear than to offer the sacrifice of fools Eccle. 5. 1. Seeing it is so that Christian 〈…〉 in its place is a thing so excellent and that the means by which it s attained is by serious observation I desire with all Saints to give up my self to a serious observation of the dealings of God with us in all conditions that we may not receive mercies in vain but that we may treasure them up in our Christian experience having in our treasury things new and old that we may be ready upon all occasions to bring it forth Mat. 13. 52. to the glory and praise of God to the profit comfort of our selves and others as it s our duty so to do till the comming of our Lord to 〈…〉 and glory for e 〈…〉