Eternity It faring with me as it did with those Jews Acts 2. when Peter by his searching Sermon had convinced them that Christ whom they had by wicked hands crucified and slain was the onely Son of God and Lord of glory verse 36 37. And having had the happiness to injoy the benefit of his sage advice as I stood in need thereof God having given him the tongue of the learned to administer a word in season to them that are weary Isa. 50.4 I bless God his word and spirit hath wrought in me such a change and strange alteration that it hath opened mine eyes that were blind before inclined my will to obedience which before was rebellious softned my heart sanctified and quite changed my affections so that I now love that good which before I hated and hate that evil which before I loved and am delighted with those holy exercises which heretofore did most displease me and am displeased with those vain pleasures and filthy sins which in times past did most delight me Which is such a mercy that no tongue is able to express for till that hour I went on in the broad way and worlds road to destruction without any mistrust whereas now God hath been pleased to take me into his kingdom of grace here will never leave me until he hath brought me to his kingdom of glory hereafter Loose Libertine What you speak makes me wonder for I ever held you the compleatest man of my acquaintance just in all your dealings temperate and civil in your deportment yea I have never seen you exceed in the least nor heard you swear an oath except faith and truth and that very rarely Besides you have been a good Protestant and gon to Church all your days Convert What you speak none that know me can contradict nor could they ever accuse me of any scandalous crime or unjust act Yea I had the same thoughts of my self and should any one have told me formerly that I was such a great sinner such a devil incarnate as I was I should have replied as Hazael did to the Prophet telling him of the abominable wickedness he would ere long commit What am I a dog c. 2 Kings 8.12 13. And no wonder for as every man in his natural condition is stark blind to spirituall objects 1 Cor. 2.14 so the heart of man is deceitful above all things even so deceitful that none but God alone can know it as the Prophet shews Jer. 17.10 But because this is a truth that transcends your belief and because it may be of singular use to you also to know the same I will give you a short character of my former condition the which done I doubt not but you will assent unto what I have hitherto said or shall further relate Sect. 11. First Touching my knowledge I mean saving knowledg without which the soul cannot be good as wise Solomon witnesseth Prov. 19.2 it was such though I thought my self wiser than to make scruple of or perplex my self about matters of Religion as do the religious even as the King of Tyrus thought himself wiser than Daniel Ezek. 28.3 that spiritual things were mostly represented to my understanding false and clean contrary to what they are indeed Like corporal things in a looking glass wherein those that are on the right hand seem to be on the left and those that are on the left hand seem to be on the right As it fared with St. Paul while he was in his natural condition Acts 26.9 which made me think and call evil good and good evil bitter sweet and sweet bitter to justifie the wicked and condemn the just as the Prophet complains Isa. 5.20 23. As for instance I most sottishly thought that I both loved and served God as I ought yea I should have taken it in foul scorn if any one had questioned the same when indeed I was a traytor to God and took up arms against all that did worship him in spirit and in truth I was so far from loving and serving him that I hated those that did it and that for their so doing I could also hear him blasphemed reproached and dishonoured without being once stirred or moved at it I loved him dearly but I could never afford to speak a word for him And likewise his Children entirely but instead of justifying them or speaking in their defence when I heard them scoft scorned and abused by wicked and ungodly men all my delight was to jear at slight and slander them wherever I came I more feared the Magistrate than I feared God and more regarded the blasts of mens breath then the fire of Gods wrath I chose rather to disobey God than to displease great ones and feared more the worlds scorns than his anger And the like of Christ that died for me a strong argument that I loved Christ when I hated all that resembled him in holiness Yea I so hated holiness that I most bitterly hated men for being holy insomuch that my blood would rise at the sight of a good man as some stomacks will rise at the sight of sweet-meats I was a Christian in name but I could scoff at a Christian indeed I could honour the dead Saints in a formal profession while I worried the living Saints in a cruel persecution I condemned all for Roundheads that had more religion than a Heathen or knowledg of Heavenly things than a child in the womb hath of the things of this life or Conscience than an Atheist or care of his soul than a Beast I had alwaies the basest thoughts of the best men making ill constructions of whatsoever they did or spake as the Scribes and Pharisees dealt by our Saviour Sect. 12. As O what a poor slave did I hold the man of a tender conscience to be Yea how did I applaud my self for being zealless and fearless together with my great discretion and moderation when I saw this man vexed for his zeal that other hated for his knowledg a third persecuted for the profession of his Faith c. For being like Cain Ishmael Eliah Michel Pharaoh and Festus I thought their Religion Puritanism their conscience of sin hypocrisie their profession dissimulation their prudence policy their faith and confidence presumption their zeal of Gods glory to be pride and malice their obedience to Gods laws rebellion to Princes their execution of justice cruelty c. If they were any thing devout or forward to admonish others that so they might pluck them out of the fire I conceived them to be beside themselves as our Saviour was thought to be by his Kinsfolk and St. Paul by Festus Mark 3.21 John 10.20 Acts 26.24 1 Cor. 1.18 My religion was to oppose the power of religion and my knowledge of the truth to know how to argue against the truth I never affected Christs Ambassadours that preached the glad tidings of salvation but had a spleen against them yea I hated a Minister for being
the Sacrament of the Lords Supper is recieved by one to salvation by another to his greater damnation 1 Cor. 11.29 The cloudy pillar which gave light and was a defence to Israel became darkness and offence to the Egyptians Exod. 14 20. And the like of Manna Exod. 16 20. The Ark the Red Sea and sundry the like which I might weary you with Yea Christ himself who is a Rock to save all that believe in him shivers his enemies in pieces Mat. 21.44 And immortality the greatest blessedness of the Saints is the greatest misery to the damned No wonder then if these Spiders those Bees the wicked and the godly suck the one honey the other poyson from the self fame flower of holy Writ Sect. 6 Thirdly Another reason why they so swell against their reprehender is their guiltiness And it is a sure sign the horse is gauled that stirs too much when he is touched In the Law of jealousies if the suspected wife were guilty that drank of the bitter waters of tryal she would presently swell if otherwise she was well enough Numb 5.27 Nor did you ever hear of any that were offended with wholsome truth for being untoothsom that disliked the Minister for being too sharp and searching but evil minds But as good meats are unwelcome to sick persons so is good counsel to obstinate and resolved sinners Vnfound flesh loves to be stroaked the least roughness puts it into a rage Bad wares would have dark shops Thieves will put out all the lights that in the dark they may more securely rifle the house John 3.19.20 21. So the conscience that is guilty of flagitious crimes could wish the Heavens blind Fourthly No wicked man can indure to hear the downright truth For then they must also hear the sentence of their own condemnation What the Minister delivers is the very Word by which they are judged and condemned therefore they loath as much to hear it as the Prisoner at the Bar does abhor to hear his sentence from the just judg And indeed if many as we well know by experience love not to hear the worst of their temporal causes and cases nor yet of their bodily distempers with which their lives or estates be endangered how much more will wicked men decline from seeing their hainous abominations and themselves guilty of Hell and eternal damnation though thereof there be an absolute necessity if ever they be saved Sect. 7. And so much of the Reasons From all which we may learn not to impute the cause of wicked mens raging to any miscarriage in the messenger for he may vindicate himself as Paul did 1 Cor. 7.10 I have not spoken but the Lord. And therefore as the Lord said unto Saul Acts 9.4 that he persecuted him So they which reject any truth delivered out of the word do resist God himself and not his messenger And this for certain were Christ himself their Minister they would much more oppose and persecute him as the Priests and Pharisees did when they heard him Yea consider it rightly and you will grant that there cannot be a greater honour done to a poor minister than this For what sayes one of the Fathers It may well be doubted that ministers open not the Word aright when wicked men kick not against it Yea sayes Luther To preach the Gospel as we ought is to stir up all the furies of Hell against us And what saith our Saviour himself to his Apostles in their pupil-age The World cannot hate you but me it hateth because I testifie of it that the works thereof are evil John 7.7 And so touching Paul who had never become their enemy but for telling them the truth and dealing so plainly and so roundly with them Nor can there be such an argument that a Minister studies more to profit than to please men with his wholsome counsel as when he will not let them sleep and snort in their sins but cry aloud against their abominations Secondly We may learn from the premises that if any receive the Word with readiness and become new creatures by hearing the same not to attribute or ascribe the praise thereof to the parties converted or to the means or to the instrument but to God who is the Author and gives the blessing For Paul may plant and Apollo may water but it is God onely that gives the increase It is God alone that giveth words unto the wise and virtue unto their words 1 Cor. 3.5 6 7. And he will give success to whom when and as he pleaseth Even twelve mean Fishermen when he pleaseth shall without force or weapon armour bands of men or stroke stricken subdue the whole world to their King Hillary found not seventeen believers and left not so many unbelievers in the whole City Indeed in these dayes Ministers may tear their throats spend their lungs and force their sides in suing to ' a deaf world and say when they have done all they can Who hath believed our report And to whom is the arm of the Lord revealed Yea how many painful Peters have complained to fish all night and catch nothing Many professors and few converts hath been the lot of the Gospel in these last times and since our means hath exceeded Gods house as the streets of Jericho may be thronged and yet but one Zacheus gained to the faith And why so but for this cause if some few like the Bee do gather from the Word whatsoever addeth to their knowledg and vertue the greatest number use the same as some do artificial teeth more for shew than service more for ability of discourse than activity of practise to talk of it than to walk by it Whence it is that God utters his saving truths as it were in Parables so hiding them from the wise and prudent namely the proud that are wise in their own Eyes and reveales them to babes and sucklings that is the humble and lowly as Austin speaks Sect. 8. Which being so let not him that hath five Talents despise him that hath but two Even those great lights of Heaven the Sun and Moon take not away the necessity of lamp light To the making of the Tabernacle fine linnen and Goats hair had their use as well as gold silver and precious stones And the same God that gave proportion to the Cedar gave also being to the Mushroom Nor is the strength or weakness of means either spur or bridle to the determinate choises of God who not seldom does greatest acts by weakest agents He chose Davids sling rather than Sauls sword to conquer Goliah Frogs Grashoppers Lice rather than Bears and Lions to fight against Pharaoh Yea he that with Rams horns overthrew the Walls of Jericho hath sometimes chosen vile and weak means to serve himself by in great matters Peter hath a Cock to tell him of his cowardise And Balaam an Ass to reprove his avarice Yea that God who will bless where he pleaseth now and then gives the
THE Hearts-Index OR Self-Knowledg Together with I. The wonderful Change that the Word and Spirit do work upon the Heart when a Sinner is converted II. The excellency of Grace above Nature III. The Safety and Calm of such as have sued out their pardon in Christ. By R. YOUNGE of Roxwell in Essex Imprimatur Ex Aed Sab. Aug. 8 1663 Geo. Stradling S. T. P. Rev. in Christo Patr. Gilb. Epist. Lond. Ã Sac. Domest Section I. PRobable it is that that medicine which hath cured one desperate Patient if it be communicated may work the same effect upon others the concealment whereof would argue in a Physitian either too much lucre or too little love However the conscience of good intentions in themselves let their success be what it will is both a discharge and comfort to a free and willing mind A fine wit and a Christian will is like the little Bee that will not off the meanest flower until she hath made somewhat of it whereas an unsanctified heart will spider-like suck poyson from the choisest of flowers Every line of God's word shall adde finew to the virtuous mind and withal heal that vice which would be springing in it But with the carnally minded it is far otherwise The same report wherewith the spirit of Rahab melteth hardens the King of Jericho Josh. 2. Sergius Paulus was converted Elimas obdurated at the same Sermon Acts 13. that one hard saying of our Saviour John 6. like a file sharpened eleven of his Apostles while it so blunted the rest of his Disciples that many of them murmured and from that time went back and walked no more with him verse 66 c. Whence observe that as all bodies are not equally apt to be wrought upon by the same medicine so are not all souls by the same means of Grace One remains obstinate and refractory whiles others are pliable Sin and Satan have no Servants but the simple As for instance A wise man hearing in what a dangerous condition he is in by reason of original and actual sins and how God is so incensed with wrath and indignation against him that he means utterly to destroy him if he go on in his impenitency foreseeth the evil of Hell and preventeth it by departing from his evil wayes but fools go on and are careless Prov. 22.3 and 14.16 Stark fools indeed For if their eyes were opened to see in what a condition they are content at present to continue in they should need no intreaty to turn their course another way Luther says that if a man could perfectly see his own evils and the misery that attends them the fight thereof would be a perfect Hell unto him and this indeed might prove to be his way to Heaven For then and not till then a man sees what need he hath of a Saviour and then he begins tightly to prize the joys of Heaven when he sees he hath escaped the Flames of Hell which those fools before spoken of never mean to do because they think themselves wise good happy and what not The case of all men by Nature And until that vail or curtain which is drawn over their hearts be removed and taken away by unseigned repentance and turning to the Lord they remain stark blind to all saving truths as the Apostle plainly sets down 2 Cor. 3.14 15 16 17 18. See Rev. 3.17 1 Tim. 6.4 And the truth is were it not for pride and Ignorance springing hence every man would make it his main business to work out his salvation with fear and trembling But to proceed for this is but an excursion let in by way of a parenthesis and in zeal for their good that desire not their own The Ninivites by hearkning to Jonah and those murtherers of the Lord of Life by listning to Peter were converted and saved Jonah 3.4 5. Acts 2.37 Wax we know yeeldeth sooner to the seal than steel to the stamp Sect. 2. Of Hearers there are usually four sorts as our Saviour shews in the Parable of the seed Mat. 13.3 to 24. As first An honest and good heart will not return from hearing the Word unbettered yea he will so note what is spoken to his own sin that it shall increase his knowledg and lessen his vices As who by looking in a glass shall spy spots in his face and will not forthwith wipe them out A wise man will not have one sin twice repeated unto him Yea he more rejoyceth in being overcome with a wise and gracious advice then he would have rejoyced in a revengeful victory Of which we have a rare example 1 Sam. 25.32 33. A true argument of an ingenuous nature Whereas those that will not hearken to nor obey the voice of Christ but rage and storm are more stubborn than the wind and sea Luke 8.24 25. enough to make them blush blood when told of it But Secondly Another sort of Hearers are like Tully's strange soil much rain leaves them still as dry as dust Or the Wolf in the Emblem which though it suckt the Goat kept notwithstanding his Woolfish nature still And indeed untill the spirit of God meekens the soul say what you will it minds nothing or nothing to purpose Whatever an impenitent sinner hears it presently passes away like the sound of a Bell that is rung Let testimonies and examples never so much concern them it makes an impression but skin or ear deep For as in an hour-glass or conduit that which in one hour runneth in the same in another hour runneth out again Who may be resembled to the Smiths Iron put it into the fire it is much softned but put it into the water it is harder than before Thirdly Another sort will very orderly hear the Word and delight in it until it comes home to their consciences touches their Copy hold as John served Herod but then they will turn their backs upon it as the Jews served our Saviour John 6.66 the Athenians Paul Acts 17.16 to 34. and Ahab Micaiah 1 Kings 228. Now these that will not hear an untoothsome truth but turn their backs upon and fly from instruction Joh. 3.19 20 21. not onely declare themselves to be guilty persons for he confesseth the fact who to judgment turneth his back And 't is onely the weak sighted that cannot abide the light but it proves them to be out of all hope to become better For that sin is past cure which turns from and refuseth the cure Deut. 17.12 Prov 29.1 1 Sam. 2.25 2 Chron. 25.16 turn to the places And take this for a Rule if ever you see a drowning man refuse help conclude him a wilful murderer Sect. 3. Fourthly and lastly for I pass by those blocks that can hear the Word powerfully delivered for twenty or thirty years together and mind no more the spirituality of the matter than the seats they fit on or the stones they tread on There are a generation of hearers who being told the naked truth plainly reproved