hypocrite_n or_o afraid_a to_o hear_v what_o conscience_n say_v oh_o how_o sweet_o be_v this_o truth_n improve_v this_o day_n by_o application_n as_o first_o to_o teach_v we_o to_o admire_v the_o goodness_n of_o god_n in_o place_v such_o a_o witness_n in_o every_o man_n bosom_n yea_o how_o good_a it_o be_v for_o the_o saint_n that_o this_o be_v set_v up_o in_o wicked_a man_n for_o some_o time_n there_o be_v action_n do_v by_o wicked_a man_n against_o god_n people_n that_o there_o be_v no_o winess_n but_o their_o own_o conscience_n which_o testify_v against_o they_o of_o all_o their_o hard_a speech_n and_o thought_n and_o word_n and_o the_o like_a yea_o how_o good_a be_v it_o for_o the_o saint_n also_o in_o this_o for_o have_v they_o not_o this_o witness_n in_o themselves_o how_o bitter_a will_v the_o reproach_n of_o the_o world_n be_v to_o they_o we_o be_v exhort_v to_o take_v heed_n how_o we_o walk_v towards_o conscience_n it_o be_v by_o god_n set_v as_o a_o watch_n over_o we_o oh_o than_o take_v heed_n that_o we_o withdraw_v not_o from_o it_o nay_o it_o be_v true_a it_o will_v follow_v you_o but_o labour_n to_o keep_v it_o in_o your_o sight_n and_o when_o you_o be_v to_o do_v any_o civil_a or_o religious_a work_n call_v it_o in_o and_o say_v conscience_n what_o say_v thou_o to_o this_o or_o that_o action_n be_v it_o according_a to_o the_o will_n and_o mind_n of_o god_n and_o give_v it_o leave_v to_o speak_v out_o yea_o and_o give_v time_n also_o for_o oftentimes_o the_o affair_n of_o the_o world_n hinder_v that_o conscience_n have_v not_o time_n to_o speak_v its_o mind_n 2_o to_o take_v heed_n we_o grieve_v it_o not_o for_o its_o complaint_n will_v be_v hear_v in_o heaven_n therefore_o take_v heed_n of_o do_v any_o thing_n against_o conscience_n 3._o awe_o it_o as_o a_o judge_n and_o be_v content_a to_o be_v judge_v by_o it_o in_o all_o you_o do_v for_o it_o will_v be_v your_o judge_n another_o day_n and_o will_v be_v a_o immortal_a witness_n either_o in_o point_n of_o comfort_n or_o terror_n oh_o therefore_o awe_v it_o 1._o do_v you_o take_v of_o heed_n of_o slight_a conscience_n or_o its_o testimony_n for_o therein_o you_o commit_v great_a injury_n to_o god_n it_o be_v his_o ambassador_n and_o by_o he_o set_v in_o you_o 2._o it_o be_v great_a folly_n also_o to_o stop_v its_o mouth_n for_o 1._o all_o your_o hinder_v it_o or_o endeavour_v to_o do_v so_o will_v but_o prove_v a_o aggravation_n of_o its_o witness_n another_o day_n against_o you_o than_o it_o will_v tell_v you_o that_o it_o will_v have_v speak_v plain_o to_o you_o such_o and_o such_o a_o time_n but_o you_o will_v not_o hear_v you_o be_v so_o busy_a in_o the_o world_n or_o the_o like_a the_o reason_n why_o saint_n do_v no_o more_o rejoice_v be_v because_o they_o walk_v no_o more_o in_o the_o testimony_n of_o their_o own_o conscience_n we_o be_v also_o exhort_v in_o the_o conclusion_n to_o be_v very_o tender_a of_o do_v any_o thing_n without_o a_o solemn_a court_n of_o conscience_n rashness_n be_v the_o worst_a evil_n conscience_n be_v god_n witness_n let_v it_o be_v you_o give_v it_o full_a liberty_n therefore_o to_o speak_v and_o say_v all_o it_o can_v ask_v it_o again_o and_o again_o what_o it_o say_v to_o this_o and_o that_o action_n and_o may_v be_v it_o will_v give_v thou_o that_o testimony_n that_o through_o rashness_n and_o hastiness_n it_o have_v not_o time_n to_o speak_v or_o thou_o to_o hear_v it_o oh_o what_o sensible_a hint_n be_v these_o to_o my_o poor_a soul_n if_o the_o lord_n will_v but_o please_v to_o bless_v they_o effectual_o to_o i_o and_o help_v i_o to_o put_v they_o in_o practice_n daily_a the_o lord_n have_v see_v meet_a to_o call_v our_o brother_n Ê‹ilet_n ont_fw-fr of_o this_o world_n i_o hear_v that_o he_o be_v to_o be_v bury_v at_o fulham_n this_o afternoon_n and_o our_o pastor_n to_o preach_v which_o occasion_v i_o great_o to_o desire_v to_o hear_v he_o which_o also_o i_o do_v though_o it_o be_v exceed_v late_o at_o which_o time_n he_o speak_v from_o 1_o joh._n 3._o 2._o now_o be_v we_o the_o son_n of_o â—od_a but_o it_o do_v not_o yet_o appear_v what_o we_o shall_v be_v etc._n etc._n from_o which_o there_o be_v most_o seasonable_a bless_a truth_n hint_v to_o my_o soul_n that_o which_o he_o press_v be_v that_o what_o the_o saint_n shall_v be_v it_o do_v not_o appear_v then_o he_o show_v it_o do_v not_o appear_v first_o to_o the_o saint_n themselves_o 1._o because_o of_o the_o little_a light_n the_o saint_n have_v of_o this_o glory_n nay_o if_o god_n shall_v reveal_v more_o they_o can_v not_o bear_v it_o in_o this_o state_n 2._o in_o regard_n of_o our_o not_z improvement_n of_o the_o discovery_n make_v of_o our_o future_a estate_n 3._o because_o their_o present_a estate_n be_v compass_v with_o sin_n and_o affliction_n both_o which_o do_v obstruct_v the_o sight_n of_o this_o glory_n but_o more_o particular_o the_o reason_n why_o it_o do_v not_o appear_v he_o show_v be_v these_o 1._o from_o the_o many_o diversion_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o saint_n that_o turn_v they_o aside_o from_o behold_v their_o glory_n to_o come_v how_o do_v the_o toy_n and_o bauble_n of_o this_o world_n divert_v they_o from_o behold_v of_o this_o and_o so_o their_o estate_n do_v not_o appear_v to_o they_o 2._o it_o come_v from_o inconstancy_n of_o spirit_n because_o their_o heart_n do_v not_o dwell_v on_o those_o thing_n no_o man_n be_v excellent_a in_o that_o his_o heart_n and_o thought_n dwell_v not_o upon_o so_o here_o 3._o from_o the_o weakness_n of_o our_o faith_n for_o we_o live_v now_o by_o faith_n but_o when_o christ_n shall_v appear_v than_o you_o shall_v live_v by_o sight_n so_o that_o while_o you_o be_v here_o your_o sight_n be_v according_a to_o your_o faith_n if_o your_o faith_n be_v right_a and_o straight_o like_o stephens_n then_o have_v you_o a_o strong_a sight_n of_o glory_n 4._o it_o appear_v not_o from_o the_o remainder_n of_o corruption_n that_o abide_v in_o we_o every_o sin_n veil_v the_o sight_n of_o this_o glory_n 5._o god_n himself_o be_v please_v sometime_o to_o exercise_v his_o saint_n not_o only_o under_o darkness_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o their_o future_a estate_n but_o also_o of_o their_o present_a estate_n and_o so_o they_o walk_v in_o the_o dark_a and_o this_o god_n do_v for_o high_a and_o holy_a end_n and_o give_v great_a instruction_n through_o it_o no_o his_o saint_n to_o look_v up_o to_o he_o for_o life_n and_o wait_v on_o he_o for_o the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n and_o their_o future_a estate_n and_o to_o make_v they_o see_v that_o it_o flow_v from_o nothing_o in_o they_o but_o from_o he_o only_o eternal_a life_n be_v not_o only_o the_o gift_n of_o god_n but_o even_o the_o light_n whereby_o we_o see_v it_o 2._o this_o glory_n appear_v not_o to_o the_o world_n also_o and_o that_o 1._o because_o the_o world_n see_v only_o the_o outside_n of_o a_o godly_a man_n his_o shell_n but_o they_o see_v not_o the_o glory_n of_o his_o inside_n they_o see_v their_o poverty_n and_o contempt_n and_o reproach_n etc._n etc._n but_o they_o see_v not_o the_o glorious_a work_n of_o god_n on_o their_o soul_n or_o operation_n of_o his_o spirit_n in_o they_o 2_o it_o appear_v not_o to_o the_o world_n because_o the_o saint_n have_v their_o cloud_n upon_o they_o the_o best_a have_v their_o infirmity_n and_o these_o the_o world_n look_v most_o upon_o wicked_a man_n be_v blind_a and_o can_v see_v for_o spiritual_a thing_n must_v be_v spiritual_o discern_v because_o many_o time_n there_o be_v difference_n among_o the_o saint_n themselves_o and_o this_o darken_v their_o glory_n to_o the_o world_n who_o see_v they_o dispute_v about_o religion_n and_o the_o like_a the_o world_n judge_v of_o their_o future_a estate_n by_o their_o present_a condition_n if_o man_n flourish_v here_o than_o they_o judge_v well_o of_o they_o if_o they_o lie_v under_o trouble_n they_o judge_v they_o hate_v of_o god_n and_o thus_o god_n suffer_v this_o darkness_n about_o their_o future_a estate_n to_o humble_v his_o saint_n and_o make_v they_o cry_v to_o he_o for_o light_n to_o manifest_v the_o sincerity_n of_o the_o saint_n to_o set_v they_o a_o longing_n after_o eternity_n where_o they_o shall_v have_v full_a and_o clear_a sight_n to_o make_v glory_n appear_v glory_n indeed_o if_o the_o glitter_a here_o be_v glorious_a what_o shall_v the_o full_a be_v that_o it_o appear_v not_o be_v out_o of_o just_a judgement_n from_o god_n to_o this_o wicked_a world_n who_o do_v hate_n and_o contemn_v they_o therefore_o god_n will_v not_o let_v they_o see_v their_o glory_n they_o shall_v only_o know_v it_o by_o feel_v the_o contrary_a and_o the_o want_n of_o it_o there_o
for_o yea_o give_v the_o full_a worth_n of_o it_o into_o the_o hand_n of_o god_n so_o that_o justice_n can_v never_o say_v that_o what_o we_o receive_v by_o grace_n be_v not_o full_o satisfy_v for_o but_o that_o we_o have_v now_o a_o right_a by_o justice_n to_o every_o promise_n in_o the_o book_n of_o god_n as_o well_o as_o by_o mercy_n oh_o bless_a word_n yea_o he_o love_v righteousness_n because_o he_o make_v all_o righteous_a who_o be_v accept_v of_o he_o by_o his_o righteousness_n and_o first_o 1._o by_o form_v their_o heart_n to_o his_o likeness_n 2._o by_o impute_v to_o they_o his_o own_o righteousness_n yea_o he_o show_v that_o he_o love_v righteousness_n by_o the_o terrible_a execution_n of_o his_o displeasure_n on_o unrighteousness_n now_o all_o this_o as_o it_o make_v christ_n lovely_a to_o the_o father_n so_o it_o must_v needs_o make_v he_o lovely_a to_o his_o saint_n and_o that_o for_o these_o reason_n 1._o because_o they_o can_v never_o look_v on_o or_o behold_v divine_a justice_n without_o be_v confound_v if_o they_o do_v not_o behold_v it_o satisfy_v through_o the_o righteousness_n of_o christ_n by_o which_o they_o be_v enable_v to_o glory_n as_o well_o in_o the_o justice_n as_o in_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n and_o plead_v with_o god_n as_o well_o as_o he_o be_v a_o righteous_a and_o just_a god_n as_o he_o be_v merciful_a 2._o because_o all_o that_o be_v beautiful_a in_o the_o saint_n either_o in_o themselves_o or_o other_o be_v from_o this_o christ_n therefore_o christ_n himself_o must_v needs_o be_v lovely_a to_o they_o because_o that_o which_o often_o support_v the_o saint_n heart_n be_v not_o so_o much_o their_o act_n in_o righteousness_n as_o their_o love_n to_o righteousness_n david_n cry_v not_o out_o oh_o how_o do_v i_o keep_v thy_o law_n but_o oh_o how_o do_v i_o love_v thy_o law_n therefore_o needs_o must_v christ_n be_v lovely_a for_o his_o righteousness_n 4._o christ_n must_v needs_o be_v lovely_a for_o his_o love_a of_o righteousness_n because_o through_o this_o he_o have_v make_v a_o way_n for_o we_o to_o eternal_a life_n how_o do_v he_o bring_v about_o this_o way_n of_o life_n or_o keep_v we_o in_o this_o path_n of_o life_n but_o by_o a_o way_n of_o righteousness_n rom._n 5._o last_o it_o be_v not_o so_o much_o that_o grace_n reign_v as_o that_o grace_n reign_v now_o by_o righteousness_n or_o justice_n to_o eternal_a life_n 1._o that_o use_n that_o be_v make_v of_o all_o this_o be_v very_o precious_a we_o be_v instruct_v hence_o to_o take_v a_o due_a view_n of_o christ_n to_o behold_v he_o more_o for_o we_o be_v say_v to_o be_v changh_v into_o his_o likeness_n while_o we_o behold_v he_o so_o that_o the_o reason_n we_o be_v no_o more_o like_a to_o christ_n be_v because_o we_o live_v no_o more_o in_o the_o sight_n of_o his_o righteousness_n which_o will_v but_o show_v we_o our_o own_o unrighteousness_n and_o nothing_o can_v do_v it_o more_o than_o this_o behold_v christ_n righteousness_n and_o then_o reflect_v back_o upon_o ourselves_o 2_o the_o behold_v christ_n will_v make_v we_o like_o christ_n for_o our_o assimulation_n to_o christ_n come_v from_o our_o be_v ravish_v much_o with_o look_v on_o christ_n the_o devil_n have_v no_o great_a design_n then_o to_o keep_v the_o saint_n from_o behold_v of_o christ_n he_o will_v let_v they_o poor_a upon_o their_o own_o lust_n or_o any_o thing_n else_o rather_o than_o this_o 3._o the_o sight_n of_o christ_n righteousness_n be_v a_o ground_n for_o the_o strong_a consolation_n to_o saint_n that_o can_v be_v of_o which_o when_o the_o apostle_n have_v get_v a_o sight_n he_o cry_v out_o who_o shall_v lay_v any_o thing_n to_o the_o charge_n of_o god_n elect_v see_v through_o christ_n righteousness_n justice_n be_v satisfy_v what_o can_v sin_v the_o devil_n lust_n corruption_n or_o law_n do_v they_o can_v condemn_v for_o christ_n justifi_v oh_o what_o refreshment_n be_v hold_v out_o from_o this_o bless_a truth_n of_o christ_n his_o love_a righteousness_n now_o if_o christ_n do_v love_v righteousness_n than_o he_o love_v to_o do_v justice_n and_o to_o be_v righteous_a in_o all_o his_o administration_n both_o of_o grace_n and_o punishment_n yea_o he_o love_v fidelity_n in_o performance_n which_o be_v another_o part_n of_o righteousness_n oh_o put_v this_o to_o the_o end_n of_o every_o promise_n in_o scripture_n that_o christ_n love_v righteousness_n and_o so_o love_v more_o to_o perform_v it_o then_o thou_o can_v desire_v to_o have_v it_o perform_v as_o christ_n love_v righteousness_n so_o he_o love_v to_o fulfil_v all_o righteousness_n and_o that_o by_o do_v and_o suffer_v though_o it_o be_v a_o hard_a work_n than_o it_o may_v refresh_v we_o further_o that_o all_o the_o grace_n you_o receive_v come_v from_o the_o hand_n of_o justice_n how_o may_v the_o saint_n than_o go_v bold_o to_o the_o father_n and_o ask_v no_o more_o than_o what_o christ_n have_v already_o pay_v for_o so_o that_o the_o saint_n live_v on_o the_o promise_n be_v no_o beggarly_a business_n for_o there_o be_v not_o one_o of_o they_o but_o be_v thorough_o pay_v for_o by_o jesus_n christ_n and_o so_o may_v be_v plead_v for_o not_o only_o upon_o that_o account_n of_o mercy_n and_o grace_n but_o even_o of_o justice_n and_o righteousness_n o_o that_o god_n will_v cause_v all_o these_o bless_a truth_n to_o have_v a_o abide_a power_n upon_o my_o soul_n the_o 6._o of_o this_o 10._o month_n over_o night_n i_o seek_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o provide_v some_o seasonable_a word_n for_o my_o soul_n as_o also_o beg_v his_o gracious_a appearance_n through_o his_o servant_n that_o be_v to_o speak_v with_o much_o to_o this_o purpose_n and_o o_o my_o soul_n how_o gracious_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o appear_v to_o thou_o this_o day_n the_o scripture_n he_o speak_v from_o by_o our_o dear_a pastor_n be_v the_o 2_o corin._n 1._o 12._o whence_o he_o show_v we_o what_o a_o ground_n of_o joy_n be_v the_o testimony_n of_o a_o good_a conscience_n when_o it_o witness_v in_o sincerity_n whence_o he_o show_v we_o that_o the_o work_n of_o conscience_n be_v to_o witness_v to_o every_o action_n of_o a_o man_n both_o religious_a and_o civil_a and_o not_o only_o do_v it_o bear_v witness_n of_o every_o act_n but_o of_o the_o measure_n and_o of_o the_o manner_n of_o heart-working_n in_o the_o act_n and_o so_o witness_v either_o the_o righteousness_n and_o sincerity_n of_o it_o or_o the_o sinfulness_n of_o it_o yea_o and_o the_o spring_n of_o all_o our_o sinfulness_n our_o rejoice_v say_v the_o apostle_n be_v not_o that_o we_o preach_v pray_v or_o the_o like_a but_o that_o our_o conscience_n witness_v that_o what_o ever_o we_o do_v though_o never_o so_o weak_o &_o imperfect_o yet_o it_o be_v do_v in_o godly_a simplicity_n i._n e._n with_o a_o single_a intention_n aim_v pure_o at_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n that_o there_o be_v no_o double_a deal_n not_o a_o heart_n for_o god_n and_o for_o ourselves_o too_o yea_o we_o be_v show_v that_o conscience_n be_v not_o only_o a_o witness_n but_o a_o judge_n therefore_o where_o it_o find_v the_o act_n good_a but_o the_o principle_n naught_o it_o tell_v that_o man_n if_o he_o hearken_v to_o it_o that_o all_o be_v naught_o and_o that_o god_n will_v not_o be_v serve_v with_o leaf_n but_o with_o fruit_n and_o thus_o it_o pass_v sentence_n and_o judgement_n from_o which_o how_o secret_o do_v the_o lord_n check_v my_o soul_n then_o he_o show_v we_o that_o conscience_n have_v a_o strong_a memory_n though_o we_o forget_v yet_o conscience_n will_v remember_v not_o only_o act_n but_o circumstance_n which_o o_o my_o soul_n may_v thou_o not_o clear_o testify_v the_o truth_n hereof_o by_o experience_n yea_o it_o be_v hint_v to_o we_o that_o conscience_n be_v a_o just_a and_o right_a witness_n all_o the_o devil_n in_o hell_n and_o man_n on_o earth_n can_v make_v it_o speak_v other_o than_o truth_n the_o devil_n may_v and_o do_v abuse_v conscience_n by_o imitate_v it_o and_o so_o suggest_v this_o or_o that_o to_o a_o soul_n as_o if_o it_o come_v from_o conscience_n when_o it_o come_v immediate_o from_o hell_n even_o saint_n themselves_o may_v pass_v wrong_a judgement_n upon_o their_o brethren_n as_o job_n friend_n do_v but_o conscience_n be_v a_o better_a witness_n than_o saint_n themselves_o and_o it_o be_v so_o to_o job_n yea_o conscience_n be_v hold_v out_o to_o be_v a_o convince_a witness_n where_o it_o do_v witness_v against_o sin_n it_o witness_v convince_o cause_v they_o to_o groan_v under_o it_o yea_o it_o be_v hold_v out_o to_o be_v a_o bold_a witness_n that_o will_v not_o be_v daunt_v any_o way_n and_o must_v needs_o be_v so_o because_o god_n himself_o embolden_v it_o to_o speak_v plain_o as_o that_o thou_o be_v a_o
a_o wise_a virgin_n lamp_n burn_v or_o god_n sweet_a income_n of_o love_n to_o a_o gracious_a soul_n wait_v for_o he_o be_v the_o experience_n of_o mrs._n anne_n venn_n daughter_n to_o col._n john_n venn_n &_o member_n of_o the_o church_n of_o christ_n at_o fulham_n write_v by_o she_o own_o hand_n and_o find_v in_o her_o closet_n after_o her_o death_n wherein_o be_v declare_v she_o exceed_v frequent_a address_n to_o the_o throne_n of_o grace_n and_o how_o speedy_o answer_v write_a for_o the_o comfort_n of_o such_o as_o mourn_v in_o zion_n and_o quicken_a of_o saint_n by_o her_o bless_a example_n psal_n 30.5_o weep_n may_v endure_v for_o a_o night_n but_o joy_n come_v in_o the_o morning_n psal_n 66.16_o come_v and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v god_n i_o will_v declare_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n psal_n 85.8_o i_o will_v hear_v what_o god_n the_o lord_n will_v say_v for_o he_o will_v speak_v peace_n to_o his_o people_n lam._n 3.25_o the_o lord_n be_v good_a to_o they_o that_o wait_v for_o he_o to_o the_o soul_n that_o seek_v he_o london_n print_v for_o e._n cole_n and_o be_v to_o be_v sell_v at_o the_o sign_n of_o the_o printing-press_n in_o cornhill_n 1658._o christian_n reader_n here_o may_v thou_o see_v the_o free_a frequent_a &_o familiar_a intercourse_n betwixt_o the_o lord_n &_o a_o godly_a soul_n her_o continual_a address_n to_o he_o and_o his_o gracious_a return_v to_o she_o doubtless_o she_o be_v one_o that_o as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o caleb_n follow_v god_n full_o and_o lay_v as_o much_o in_o the_o bosom_n of_o christ_n as_o any_o that_o i_o have_v hear_v of_o a_o rare_a pattern_n in_o these_o cold_a decline_a time_n wherein_o so_o many_o either_o turn_n aside_o from_o the_o truth_n or_o else_o lose_v their_o first_o love_n but_o her_o pious_a soul_n in_o a_o eminent_a manner_n keep_v truth_n and_o zeal_n warm_v she_o in_o heart_n even_o till_o she_o enjoy_v full_a communion_n with_o her_o belove_a in_o heaven_n as_o she_o begin_v to_o seek_v after_o god_n betimes_o about_o the_o age_n of_o nine_o year_n so_o she_o continue_v with_o her_o loin_n gird_v her_o lamp_n burn_v and_o her_o light_n shine_v more_o and_o more_o till_o the_o perfect_a day_n the_o tenderness_n of_o god_n the_o malice_n of_o satan_n her_o patience_n in_o wait_v on_o god_n for_o certain_a year_n to_o gether_o in_o her_o first_o conversion_n be_v remarkable_a the_o closeness_n of_o her_o spirit_n not_o open_v her_o condition_n to_o such_o as_o may_v have_v relieve_v she_o her_o seek_v to_o heal_v herself_o by_o duty_n and_o holy_a walk_n for_o a_o long_a time_n keep_v down_o her_o soul_n from_o look_v up_o to_o the_o free_a grace_n in_o christ_n till_o she_o be_v even_o tire_v out_o as_o noah_n dove_n by_o flutter_v upon_o the_o unsteady_a water_n but_o then_o the_o lord_n jesus_n put_v forth_o his_o hand_n and_o take_v her_o weary_a soul_n into_o the_o ark_n of_o his_o rest_n give_v she_o such_o a_o clear_a sight_n of_o himself_o that_o now_o have_v with_o the_o spouse_n find_v she_o belove_v she_o take_v he_o and_o catch_v he_o and_o hold_v he_o and_o will_v not_o let_v he_o go_v oft_o say_v with_o the_o spouse_n let_v he_o kiss_v i_o with_o the_o kiss_n of_o his_o mouth_n for_o his_o love_n be_v better_a than_o wine_n be_v able_a from_o that_o time_n to_o sing_v the_o sweet_a song_n of_o simeon_n long_v to_o be_v at_o home_n with_o her_o jesus_n oh_o the_o peace_n and_o or_o oh_o the_o bless_a reviving_n and_o quickning_n oh_o the_o prayer_n praise_n and_o admiring_n her_o precious_a soul_n be_v fill_v withal_o from_o that_o day_n forward_o though_o now_o aâ—d_v then_o some_o secret_a withdrawing_n to_o the_o last_o moment_n of_o her_o life_n her_o conversation_n be_v in_o heaven_n she_o walk_v with_o god_n her_o heart_n loosen_a from_o this_o world_n as_o this_o treatise_n full_o speak_v so_o much_o of_o her_o strength_n spirit_n affection_n and_o time_n she_o spend_v in_o closet-meeting_n with_o god_n in_o read_v pray_v meditation_n self-examination_n etc._n etc._n that_o it_o be_v a_o wonder_n her_o poor_a weak_a body_n be_v able_a to_o subsist_v and_o doubtless_o have_v not_o god_n renew_v her_o strength_n anoint_v she_o with_o fresh_a oil_n it_o can_v not_o have_v be_v i_o marvel_v i_o confess_v to_o see_v so_o many_o of_o her_o writing_n find_v in_o her_o closet_n as_o i_o do_v god_n give_v she_o a_o quick_a wit_n a_o large_a understanding_n a_o consider_a spirit_n and_o look_v much_o into_o herself_o teach_v she_o to_o put_v a_o high_a price_n on_o ordinance_n make_v she_o very_o diligent_a in_o the_o use_n of_o all_o mean_v lay_v she_o very_o low_a in_o she_o own_o eye_n with_o much_o self-emptiness_n &_o thus_o bespoko_fw-mi a_o la_fw-fr ge_fw-mi room_n in_o her_o heart_n that_o he_o may_v bestow_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o christ_n therein_o and_o so_o make_v she_o a_o vessel_n capable_a of_o a_o great_a measure_n of_o grace_n then_o i_o be_o persuade_v many_o other_o though_o true_o godly_a attain_v on_o this_o side_n heaven_n so_o exceed_v tender_a be_v her_o heart_n in_o point_n of_o sin_n that_o she_o will_v often_o and_o deep_o judge_v herself_o as_o this_o treatise_n abundant_o show_v for_o pride_n passion_n inordinate_a love_n to_o the_o creature_n neglect_v of_o duty_n to_o her_o relation_n etc._n etc._n whereas_o those_o that_o daily_a converse_v with_o she_o be_v of_o discern_a spirit_n can_v see_v no_o such_o appearance_n but_o the_o contrary_a frame_n of_o spirit_n eminent_o shine_v out_o in_o she_o she_o be_v so_o afraid_a of_o pride_n that_o she_o dare_v not_o wear_v such_o jewel_n &_o apparel_n as_o she_o have_v by_o she_o for_o feâ—r_v her_o heart_n shall_v be_v draw_v from_o god_n thereby_o and_o so_o fearful_a of_o vain_a glory_n that_o though_o she_o have_v this_o treatise_n of_o the_o income_n of_o god_n lie_v by_o she_o yet_o not_o any_o no_o not_o her_o dear_a parent_n ever_o know_v thereof_o till_o they_o find_v it_o in_o her_o closet_n after_o her_o death_n her_o sell_v leave_v this_o as_o the_o reason_n lest_o her_o wretched_a heart_n shall_v be_v lift_v up_o and_o other_o shall_v think_v better_o of_o she_o than_o be_v meet_v she_o be_v such_o a_o high_a prizer_n of_o ordinance_n that_o she_o forget_v the_o weakness_n of_o her_o own_o body_n the_o length_n of_o the_o way_n &_o many_o other_o obstructon_n will_v frequent_o break_v through_o all_o to_o enjoy_v they_o and_o when_o she_o be_v to_o hear_v she_o first_o be_v full_a of_o prayer_n to_o god_n to_o meet_v she_o therein_o and_o make_v out_o some_o discovery_n to_o her_o soul_n which_o the_o lord_n usual_o do_v and_o she_o straight_o observe_v god_n income_n return_v with_o praise_n her_o deep_a acknowledgement_n of_o the_o same_o no_o small_a importunity_n of_o very_a many_o godly_a that_o know_v she_o have_v force_v the_o publish_n of_o this_o treatise_n and_o other_o of_o long_o stand_v in_o christ_n and_o eminent_a grace_n who_o have_v see_v some_o of_o it_o in_o manuscript_n have_v free_o confess_v they_o never_o look_v into_o it_o but_o be_v much_o humble_v to_o so_o how_o short_a themselves_o come_v in_o such_o heart-searching_n self-judging_n close-walkings_a with_o god_n and_o such_o observe_n of_o the_o answer_n of_o their_o prayer_n as_o they_o read_v in_o this_o her_o daily_a practice_n i_o hope_v it_o may_v be_v useful_a in_o these_o decline_a time_n to_o convince_v some_o christian_n of_o their_o slackness_n and_o awaken_v other_o and_o show_v they_o how_o to_o make_v more_o heart-work_n by_o the_o example_n of_o one_o of_o the_o weak_a sex_n and_o if_o to_o thy_o knowledge_n it_o shall_v not_o add_v much_o yet_o to_o thy_o spirit_n and_o practise_v it_o may_v conduce_v not_o a_o little_a thou_o in_o our_o dear_a lord_n and_o head_n tho._n weld_n to_o all_o that_o love_v the_o appearance_n of_o the_o lord_n jesus_n grace_n and_o peace_n be_v call_v upon_o by_o the_o earnest_a importunity_n of_o many_o gracious_a soul_n to_o give_v forth_o my_o testimony_n of_o this_o bless_a servant_n of_o christ_n mr_n anne_n venn_n and_o have_v have_v many_o year_n converse_v about_o the_o great_a matter_n of_o eternal_a life_n with_o she_o and_o enjoy_v her_o society_n for_o some_o year_n in_o the_o holy_a fellowship_n of_o the_o gospel_n i_o can_v not_o but_o present_a to_o the_o saint_n the_o sweet_a savour_n of_o her_o holy_a walk_n in_o which_o she_o be_v a_o lively_a example_n to_o all_o that_o know_v she_o the_o lord_n first_o break_v in_o upon_o her_o heart_n by_o the_o frequent_a impression_n of_o the_o word_n as_o they_o be_v instill_v into_o she_o by_o her_o honour_a father_n who_o practice_n be_v to_o reinforce_v the_o truth_n public_o preach_v
i_o can_v never_o find_v nor_o charge_n myself_o withal_o have_v always_o hear_v very_o good_a word_n of_o he_o from_o godly_a people_n only_o i_o can_v not_o find_v that_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o speak_v any_o word_n suitable_a to_o my_o condition_n by_o he_o but_o rather_o to_o fill_v i_o with_o notion_n of_o natural_a thing_n and_o in_o a_o natural_a way_n whereupon_o i_o turn_v my_o examination_n into_o prayer_n beseech_v the_o lord_n that_o if_o there_o be_v any_o prejudice_n in_o my_o heart_n that_o lie_v hide_v that_o i_o can_v not_o discern_v that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o root_v it_o out_o and_o not_o let_v it_o hinder_v i_o from_o the_o blessing_n of_o his_o own_o ordinance_n beg_v of_o he_o also_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o put_v some_o word_n into_o his_o mouth_n suitable_a to_o the_o estate_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o give_v i_o a_o ear_n to_o hear_v and_o understand_v it_o and_o so_o with_o some_o hope_n yet_o still_o mix_v with_o fear_n i_o continue_v to_o hear_v he_o still_o and_o thus_o i_o do_v often_o time_n still_o press_v it_o upon_o myself_o that_o it_o be_v my_o darkness_n dulness_n and_o ignorance_n that_o be_v the_o hindrance_n but_o find_v after_o all_o this_o nothing_o suitable_a to_o my_o soul_n to_o answer_v the_o long_a desire_n or_o satisfy_v the_o many_o doubt_n of_o it_o i_o at_o the_o last_o tell_v my_o father_n how_o unprofitable_a his_o ministry_n be_v unto_o i_o who_o also_o conclude_v &_o often_o say_v the_o same_o resolve_v to_o seek_v out_o where_o the_o lord_n shall_v direct_v we_o and_o be_v please_v to_o make_v it_o more_o profitable_a to_o we_o so_o we_o attend_v on_o the_o ministry_n elsewhere_o about_o the_o begin_n of_o the_o year_n 1649._o where_o i_o receive_v some_o satisfaction_n but_o still_o upon_o examination_n find_v little_a profit_v in_o my_o spirit_n though_o i_o can_v not_o but_o acknowledge_v that_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v sometime_o to_o speak_v home_o to_o my_o condition_n be_v not_o able_a to_o close_v in_o a_o way_n of_o faith_n with_o what_o be_v deliver_v i_o remain_v in_o a_o very_a sad_a condition_n yet_o continue_v wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n in_o that_o ministry_n above_o a_o year_n and_o then_o return_v into_o the_o country_n be_v much_o solicit_v thereunto_o where_o i_o find_v the_o former_a minister_n upon_o a_o more_o practical_a subject_n i_o continue_v still_o in_o trouble_n of_o spirit_n as_o conclude_v now_o the_o fault_n to_o be_v in_o myself_o because_o when_o i_o enjoy_v such_o mean_n as_o i_o can_v no_o way_n except_v against_o yet_o i_o find_v very_o little_a profit_n or_o benefit_n by_o it_o when_o i_o come_v serious_o to_o examine_v myself_o all_o which_o add_v much_o to_o my_o inward_a trouble_n but_o in_o all_o this_o space_n of_o time_n for_o four_o or_o five_o year_n last_o pass_v be_v i_o exceed_o toss_v to_o and_o fro_o and_o continual_o pester_v with_o divers_a and_o sundry_a temptation_n both_o from_o the_o devil_n and_o my_o own_o wicked_a heart_n to_o instance_n in_o some_o i_o be_v often_o tempt_v to_o very_o hideous_a and_o blasphemous_a thought_n as_o to_o think_v that_o there_o be_v no_o god_n and_o which_o temptation_n be_v always_o suit_v to_o that_o matter_n which_o at_o the_o present_a my_o thought_n be_v work_v upon_o wherein_o indeed_o it_o appear_v to_o be_v a_o mere_a plot_n of_o satan_n that_o subtle_a enemy_n of_o my_o poor_a soul_n as_o for_o instance_n sometime_o when_o in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o my_o trouble_n and_o fear_n i_o have_v make_v any_o appeal_n to_o god_n concern_v the_o desire_n of_o my_o soul_n or_o have_v put_v up_o any_o short_a ejaculation_n to_o he_o or_o have_v be_v meditate_v of_o any_o of_o his_o attribute_n or_o the_o like_a then_o come_v in_o such_o a_o temptation_n as_o this_o why_o who_o do_v thou_o pray_v unto_o do_v thou_o think_v there_o be_v any_o such_o thing_n as_o a_o god_n that_o thou_o appeale_v to_o do_v thou_o ever_o find_v any_o answer_n from_o he_o with_o much_o more_o in_o this_o sort_n and_o when_o any_o scripture_n have_v be_v bring_v to_o my_o thought_n that_o may_v afford_v i_o any_o comfort_n or_o that_o i_o have_v be_v examine_v my_o heart_n from_o any_o scripture_n or_o the_o like_a than_o a_o hundred_o to_o one_o but_o i_o shall_v have_v one_o temptation_n or_o other_o dart_v into_o my_o soul_n to_o question_v the_o truth_n of_o it_o after_o this_o manner_n how_o can_v it_o be_v the_o word_n of_o god_n more_o than_o any_o other_o writing_n and_o how_o shall_v i_o know_v they_o to_o be_v so_o and_o which_o of_o they_o be_v so_o and_o which_o not_o it_o be_v so_o many_o hundred_o year_n a_o go_v write_v and_o have_v go_v through_o so_o many_o hand_n and_o all_o writer_n in_o ancient_a time_n disagree_v about_o it_o etc._n etc._n and_o when_o my_o thought_n have_v be_v set_v or_o fix_v to_o meditate_v of_o that_o everlasting_a condition_n after_o this_o sinful_a life_n be_v end_v or_o endeavour_v to_o attain_v some_o assurance_n of_o a_o happy_a estate_n in_o the_o life_n to_o come_v then_o come_v in_o a_o temptation_n that_o it_o be_v impossible_a that_o ever_o there_o shall_v be_v any_o resurrection_n of_o the_o dead_a with_o many_o carnal_a argument_n to_o back_o it_o but_o these_o temptation_n be_v so_o hideous_a &_o detestable_a even_o by_o the_o light_n of_o nature_n some_o of_o they_o i_o dare_v not_o parley_v long_o with_o they_o but_o endeavour_v still_o to_o detest_v and_o abhor_v they_o and_o to_o raise_v the_o best_a argument_n against_o they_o which_o i_o can_v and_o in_o my_o daily_a course_n of_o read_v the_o word_n to_o gather_v out_o all_o those_o scripture_n that_o i_o can_v observe_v to_o make_v against_o any_o of_o those_o temptation_n and_o so_o to_o answer_v they_o but_o sometime_o the_o more_o i_o reason_v against_o they_o and_o endeavour_v to_o argue_v it_o out_o in_o my_o own_o thought_n the_o more_o they_o will_v prevail_v which_o when_o after_o some_o time_n i_o be_v enable_v to_o perceive_v i_o dare_v no_o long_o parley_v with_o they_o but_o my_o only_a refuge_n be_v to_o throw_v myself_o before_o the_o lord_n and_o there_o to_o tell_v he_o what_o a_o sad_a condition_n i_o be_v in_o and_o how_o satan_n do_v continual_o thus_o torment_v i_o and_o throw_v such_o thing_n continual_o into_o my_o soul_n which_o he_o know_v who_o know_v all_o heart_n be_v the_o burden_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o which_o i_o will_v glad_o be_v rid_v off_o desire_v he_o that_o i_o may_v be_v acquaint_v why_o it_o be_v thus_o with_o i_o that_o he_o do_v loose_a satan_n upon_o i_o as_o also_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o give_v i_o more_o power_n to_o resist_v these_o his_o fiery_a dart_n divers_a other_o temptation_n be_v i_o also_o trouble_v withal_o as_o i_o be_v then_o tempt_v to_o believe_v that_o it_o must_v needs_o be_v impossible_a for_o any_o one_o in_o this_o life_n to_o be_v assure_v of_o their_o salvation_n but_o when_o i_o begin_v to_o consider_v how_o many_o of_o god_n people_n who_o i_o can_v not_o but_o believe_v by_o their_o walking_n do_v enjoy_v much_o of_o this_o assurance_n and_o communion_n with_o god_n then_o do_v this_o temptation_n in_o some_o measure_n vanish_v and_o another_o arise_v in_o the_o room_n of_o it_o that_o sure_a it_o be_v impossible_a that_o ever_o i_o shall_v attain_v to_o any_o such_o assurance_n and_o that_o therefore_o i_o be_v none_o of_o his_o child_n which_o when_o i_o have_v seek_v the_o lord_n about_o and_o also_o endeavour_v to_o attain_v unto_o by_o search_v the_o scripture_n and_o compare_v my_o heart_n with_o they_o etc._n etc._n then_o will_v this_o temptation_n also_o arise_v upon_o the_o neck_n of_o the_o other_o that_o i_o ought_v not_o to_o seek_v or_o labour_v too_o much_o to_o attain_v assurance_n for_o sure_o the_o lord_n do_v not_o see_v it_o good_a for_o i_o for_o shall_v the_o lord_n give_v it_o i_o i_o shall_v undoubted_o be_v so_o lift_v up_o and_o so_o fill_v with_o pride_n of_o spirit_n that_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a to_o contain_v myself_o but_o shall_v much_o dishonour_v the_o lord_n by_o it_o these_o with_o many_o such_o like_a temptation_n be_v i_o toss_v up_o &_o down_o withal_o until_o my_o spirit_n be_v even_o overwhelm_v within_o i_o have_v no_o other_o refuge_n but_o only_o to_o tell_v the_o lord_n and_o bemoan_v my_o condition_n to_o he_o who_o as_o yet_o seem_v only_o to_o turn_v the_o deaf_a ear_n to_o i_o and_o to_o cover_v all_o my_o prayer_n with_o a_o cloud_n yet_o in_o all_o this_o time_n of_o my_o trouble_n and_o temptation_n be_v the_o lord_n please_v in_o a_o secret_a manner_n to_o support_v my_o
into_o my_o spirit_n to_o beat_v i_o off_o from_o that_o pitch_n of_o faith_n which_o i_o then_o find_v my_o spirit_n breathe_v after_o viz._n that_o where_o the_o lord_n give_v such_o great_a strength_n of_o faith_n or_o any_o other_o grace_n he_o give_v also_o as_o great_a trial_n and_o that_o therefore_o if_o i_o have_v the_o one_o i_o must_v expect_v the_o other_o also_o and_o so_o shall_v not_o only_o be_v a_o mean_n to_o pull_v down_o sorrow_n affliction_n and_o trial_n upon_o my_o own_o head_n but_o also_o in_o lie_v under_o they_o and_o so_o sad_o dishonour_n god_n as_o now_o i_o do_v which_o at_o the_o present_a do_v somewhat_o take_v of_o the_o edge_n of_o my_o affection_n and_o weaken_v my_o former_a desire_n until_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o discover_v to_o i_o that_o it_o be_v a_o mere_a temptation_n whether_o from_o satan_n or_o my_o own_o heart_n my_o deceitful_a but_o subtle_a enemy_n to_o scare_v i_o with_o such_o fear_n which_o temptation_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o enable_v i_o to_o overcome_v with_o grief_n that_o i_o shall_v in_o the_o least_o parley_n with_o it_o and_o again_o to_o renew_v my_o former_a desire_n and_o withal_o to_o beg_v his_o continual_a presence_n with_o i_o in_o all_o whatever_o trial_n and_o condition_n he_o shall_v bring_v i_o under_o that_o he_o will_v keep_v i_o from_o dishonour_v he_o under_o they_o and_o manifest_v himself_o to_o i_o through_o they_o and_o then_o to_o do_v with_o i_o as_o seem_v he_o good_a a_o few_o day_n after_o as_o i_o be_v one_o evening_n write_v a_o letter_n unto_o a_o dear_a kinswoman_n of_o i_o who_o at_o that_o time_n lie_v under_o some_o sad_a dispensation_n from_o the_o lord_n whereupon_o i_o take_v occasion_n to_o urge_v that_o promise_n upon_o she_o in_o rom._n 8._o 28._o and_o we_o know_v that_o all_o thing_n work_v together_o for_o good_a to_o they_o that_o love_n god_n etc._n etc._n which_o while_o i_o be_v endeavour_v to_o press_v upon_o she_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o cause_v it_o to_o fall_v with_o mighty_a power_n upon_o my_o heart_n which_o be_v set_v home_o upon_o my_o spirit_n not_o only_o as_o that_o which_o i_o shall_v rest_v upon_o and_o expect_v the_o performance_n of_o but_o as_o that_o which_o i_o have_v have_v much_o experience_n through_o all_o the_o deal_n of_o god_n with_o i_o to_o have_v be_v continual_o make_v good_a so_o that_o the_o experience_n which_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o of_o his_o deal_n with_o my_o soul_n for_o many_o year_n in_o all_o the_o affliction_n and_o exercise_n i_o have_v lyen_fw-we under_o whether_o in_o body_n or_o mind_n in_o loss_n of_o relation_n or_o comfort_n etc._n etc._n yea_o the_o very_a withhold_n â—he_v light_a of_o god_n face_n which_o be_v life_n itself_o â—_o do_v testify_v to_o the_o truth_n of_o this_o word_n have_v be_v all_o of_o they_o by_o the_o lord_n bring_v and_o wrought_v about_o for_o my_o good_a the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o cleave_v the_o close_a to_o himself_o and_o take_v the_o fast_o hold_v of_o he_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o all_o which_o there_o fall_v this_o far_a hint_n with_o some_o weight_n upon_o my_o spirit_n that_o it_o shall_v also_o be_v even_o so_o with_o i_o in_o respect_n of_o those_o corruption_n that_o i_o be_v still_o pester_v with_o and_o groan_v under_o but_o there_o be_v yet_o especial_o at_o some_o time_n many_o confuse_a fear_n upon_o my_o spirit_n which_o i_o can_v give_v very_o little_a reason_n for_o upon_o the_o second_o day_n of_o the_o eleven_o month_n 1652._o be_v the_o first_o day_n of_o the_o week_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v yet_o further_o to_o appear_v with_o a_o very_a seasonable_a word_n to_o my_o soul_n which_o do_v much_o refresh_v it_o it_o be_v thus_o mr._n knight_n be_v in_o the_o afternoon_n in_o his_o ministry_n at_o fulham_n upon_o that_o scripture_n in_o heb._n 2._o 1_o 2_o 3._o stir_v we_o up_o to_o hearken_v diligent_o to_o jesus_n christ_n and_o not_o to_o let_v any_o of_o his_o word_n at_o any_o timeslip_n out_o of_o our_o heart_n whence_o also_o he_o take_v occasion_n to_o comfort_v the_o people_n of_o god_n upon_o this_o account_n that_o christ_n shall_v think_v their_o ear_n worthy_a of_o hear_v his_o voice_n &_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o always_o send_v his_o messenger_n nor_o make_v use_n of_o instrument_n but_o shall_v often_o rather_o as_o it_o be_v choose_v to_o speak_v himsel_n at_o which_o word_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o touch_v my_o heart_n and_o to_o make_v it_o sweet_o to_o melt_v before_o he_o with_o joy_n to_o think_v that_o christ_n shall_v thus_o speak_v to_o my_o soul_n as_o i_o now_o see_v he_o have_v do_v by_o he_o 2_o year_n before_o who_o when_o he_o have_v visit_v i_o with_o that_o sore_a loss_n of_o my_o dear_a parent_n and_o cast_v i_o and_o my_o mother_n both_o upon_o our_o sick_a bed_n neither_o of_o we_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v to_o each_o other_o yea_o when_o no_o friend_n or_o creature_n either_o can_v or_o do_v endeavour_v to_o speak_v a_o word_n of_o comfort_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n which_o be_v in_o a_o most_o sad_a condition_n for_o want_n of_o a_o clear_a sight_n of_o god_n under_o all_o these_o dispensation_n of_o his_o towards_o i_o who_o have_v as_o it_o be_v by_o his_o own_o hand_n as_o i_o now_o real_o believe_v he_o do_v shut_v up_o and_o stop_v all_o other_o mouth_n yet_o that_o now_o the_o lord_n jesus_n shall_v choose_v to_o speak_v himself_o as_o i_o find_v he_o have_v do_v in_o some_o measure_n support_v my_o spirit_n which_o be_v ready_a to_o sink_v and_o give_v up_o under_o the_o heavy_a burden_n it_o lay_v both_o of_o the_o sense_n of_o guilt_n and_o wrath_n all_o which_o be_v put_v together_o oh_o how_o do_v the_o sight_n of_o his_o love_n both_o melt_v and_o cheer_v my_o heart_n then_o do_v the_o lord_n also_o the_o next_o day_n be_v the_o second_o day_n of_o the_o same_o week_n bring_v to_o my_o mimd_n and_o thought_n those_o word_n that_o be_v record_v of_o job_n in_o job_n 9_o 11._o which_o after_o i_o have_v pause_v a_o little_a upon_o contrary_a to_o my_o intention_n or_o thought_n i_o go_v on_o still_o read_v though_o but_o in_o a_o brief_a quick_a way_n be_v straighten_v of_o time_n for_o it_o be_v late_o in_o the_o evening_n but_o i_o take_v a_o view_n of_o the_o whole_a book_n of_o job_n until_o i_o come_v to_o the_o end_n of_o it_o and_o the_o thing_n in_o general_a that_o be_v hint_v to_o i_o and_o fall_v upon_o my_o spirit_n from_o the_o whole_a be_v this_o that_o none_o of_o all_o job_n friend_n who_o endeavour_v to_o speak_v to_o he_o can_v neither_o hint_n out_o a_o word_n of_o comfort_n or_o of_o conviction_n to_o he_o in_o this_o sad_a estate_n none_o of_o all_o their_o word_n take_v hold_v at_o all_o upon_o his_o spirit_n until_o god_n himself_o come_v to_o speak_v and_o then_o one_o word_n of_o god_n do_v it_o make_v he_o cry_v out_o job_n 40._o 45._o behold_v i_o be_o vile_a what_o shall_v i_o answer_v thou_o i_o will_v lay_v my_o hand_n upon_o my_o mouth_n once_o have_v i_o speak_v but_o i_o will_v not_o answer_v yea_o twice_o but_o i_o will_v proceed_v no_o further_o and_o again_o job_n 42._o 5_o 6._o i_o have_v hear_v of_o thou_o by_o the_o hear_n of_o the_o ear_n but_o now_o my_o eye_n see_v thou_o therefore_o i_o abhor_v myself_o and_o repent_v in_o dust_n and_o ash_n that_o be_v as_o i_o conceive_v when_o god_n speak_v which_o cause_v i_o strong_o to_o reflect_v upon_o my_o own_o heart_n thereby_o call_v to_o mind_n how_o many_o instruction_n conviction_n and_o comfort_n have_v be_v from_o time_n to_o time_n for_o many_o year_n pass_v by_o several_a friend_n and_o servant_n of_o god_n hold_v out_o to_o i_o which_o never_o take_v any_o hold_n at_o all_o upon_o my_o spirit_n but_o when_o god_n himself_o will_v take_v in_o hand_n to_o speak_v he_o can_v bring_v thing_n past_a and_o go_v quite_o back_o again_o as_o he_o do_v the_o sun_n upon_o it_o he_o dial_n of_o ahaz_n 2_o king_n 22._o 11._o and_o bring_v they_o fresh_a into_o memory_n and_o cause_n the_o soul_n to_o see_v his_o hand_n and_o work_v in_o all_o and_o so_o to_o abhor_v itself_o for_o those_o abominable_a unbelieved_a thought_n and_o jealousy_n of_o god_n that_o have_v be_v upon_o its_o heart_n when_o as_o the_o lord_n have_v as_o it_o be_v take_v all_o opportunity_n to_o beget_v in_o the_o soul_n good_a and_o honourable_a thought_n of_o he_o then_o hear_v this_o same_o night_n that_o mr._n simpson_n be_v next_o morning_n be_v the_o three_o day_n of_o this_o week_n to_o begin_v his_o lecture_n in_o friday_n street_n
to_o which_o i_o have_v a_o great_a desire_n to_o go_v which_o according_o i_o do_v though_o with_o some_o outward_a inconvenience_n and_o bodily_a danger_n desire_v of_o the_o lord_n that_o as_o he_o have_v begin_v in_o some_o good_a measure_n to_o shine_v in_o upon_o my_o heart_n this_o week_n so_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o make_v this_o bless_a opportunity_n let_v my_o soul_n have_v a_o sight_n of_o himself_o through_o that_o word_n that_o shall_v be_v hold_v out_o to_o i_o thus_o wait_v and_o depend_v upon_o the_o lord_n for_o his_o appearance_n through_o this_o instrument_n of_o he_o i_o go_v to_o london_n at_o which_o time_n mr._n simpson_n contrary_a to_o the_o expectation_n of_o most_o of_o his_o hearer_n and_o as_o i_o be_v tell_v to_o his_o own_o intention_n the_o week_n before_o have_v his_o eye_n and_o meditation_n turn_v and_o fix_v upon_o that_o grand_a promise_n in_o gen._n 3._o 15._o which_o i_o do_v not_o know_v but_o that_o i_o may_v look_v upon_o as_o a_o special_a providence_n in_o which_o the_o lord_n may_v aim_v even_o at_o the_o establishment_n of_o my_o poor_a and_o unsettle_a spirit_n which_o but_o the_o week_n before_o be_v exceed_o cast_v down_o the_o lord_n have_v as_o i_o conceive_v much_o disappoint_v my_o expectation_n even_o of_o his_o own_o appearance_n in_o the_o entrance_n upon_o which_o scripture_n and_o open_n of_o it_o he_o show_v we_o that_o these_o word_n in_o gen._n 3._o be_v speak_v and_o denounce_v as_o a_o severe_a threaten_n to_o the_o devil_n and_o not_o at_o all_o speak_v either_o to_o the_o man_n or_o to_o the_o woman_n yet_o do_v they_o contain_v in_o they_o a_o most_o bless_a promise_n yea_o all_o the_o promise_n which_o the_o lord_n leave_v both_o for_o adam_n and_o eve_n to_o lay_v hold_n upon_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o which_o he_o take_v occasion_n to_o provoke_v we_o to_o lay_v hold_n upon_o all_o the_o hint_n of_o god_n and_o to_o let_v none_o of_o they_o slip_v in_o any_o dispensation_n of_o he_o to_o we_o yea_o to_o take_v notice_n of_o every_o word_n of_o promise_n or_o comfort_n that_o god_n hold_v out_o though_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o severe_a threaten_n as_o this_o here_o be_v in_o the_o further_a prosecution_n of_o which_o he_o put_v we_o upon_o such_o thought_n as_o these_o that_o that_o soul_n which_o be_v indeed_o make_v to_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o jesus_n christ_n will_v be_v ready_a to_o snatch_v &_o catch_v at_o the_o least_o crumb_n of_o mercy_n yea_o be_v the_o soul_n indeed_o find_v of_o christ_n it_o will_v be_v ready_a to_o believe_v upon_o very_o small_a ground_n there_o be_v also_o at_o this_o time_n that_o scripture_n cite_v by_o he_o which_o we_o find_v record_v in_o esai_n 50._o at_o the_o beginning_n where_o the_o lord_n as_o he_o show_v we_o seem_v to_o be_v very_o angry_a with_o that_o people_n who_o though_o they_o have_v play_v the_o harlot_n and_o therefore_o deserve_v just_o to_o be_v put_v away_o yet_o be_v the_o lord_n wrath_n with_o they_o because_o they_o say_v he_o have_v put_v they_o away_o when_o as_o yet_o he_o have_v not_o and_o therefore_o demand_v of_o they_o where_o their_o bill_n of_o divorce_n be_v which_o together_o with_o several_a other_o precious_a truth_n then_o hint_v to_o we_o take_v very_o much_o on_o my_o heart_n and_o great_o refresh_v it_o even_o upon_o after_o review_v also_o but_o to_o all_o this_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o add_v one_o bless_a opportunity_n more_o that_o week_n wherein_o he_o speak_v abundant_o and_o i_o hope_v effectual_o to_o my_o heart_n by_o that_o servant_n of_o his_o mr._n knight_n at_o that_o lecture_n at_o the_o chapel_n at_o fulham_n the_o very_a next_o morning_n be_v the_o four_o day_n of_o the_o week_n send_v his_o servant_n as_o it_o be_v on_o purpose_n to_o speak_v to_o i_o in_o particular_a and_o to_o open_v unfold_v and_o expound_v all_o those_o gracious_a visit_n of_o christ_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n when_o it_o sit_v even_o in_o the_o valley_n and_o shadow_n of_o death_n shut_v up_o as_o it_o be_v in_o darkness_n and_o in_o a_o estate_n of_o nature_n show_v i_o how_o the_o lord_n even_o then_o come_v in_o with_o light_n and_o life_n to_o i_o as_o also_o when_o i_o be_v under_o dark_a affliction_n and_o sad_a apprehension_n of_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n from_o whence_o i_o conceive_v they_o to_o proceed_v in_o which_o estate_n also_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v sweet_o to_o visit_v my_o soul_n as_o also_o when_o i_o lie_v under_o darkness_n of_o unbeleese_n be_v full_a of_o doubt_n and_o fear_n and_o jealousy_n of_o god_n etc._n etc._n at_o this_o season_n and_o from_o this_o scripture_n luk._n 1._o 78_o 79_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o unfold_v my_o soul_n that_o which_o i_o never_o have_v such_o a_o sight_n of_o how_o he_o have_v indeed_o visit_v my_o soul_n in_o all_o these_o estate_n as_o also_o what_o the_o issue_n of_o these_o his_o visitation_n be_v how_o he_o come_v in_o with_o light_n and_o life_n in_o all_o these_o condition_n which_o the_o lord_n now_o be_v please_v to_o open_v my_o eye_n to_o see_v my_o soul_n be_v even_o swallow_v up_o in_o the_o apprehension_n of_o it_o not_o know_v how_o to_o bless_v and_o praise_v his_o name_n sufficient_o for_o these_o his_o appearance_n thus_o do_v the_o lord_n follow_v on_o with_o one_o mercy_n and_o discovery_n upon_o the_o neck_n of_o another_o which_o all_o depend_v upon_o and_o as_o it_o be_v open_v one_o another_o for_o this_o last_o day_n do_v the_o lord_n discover_v in_o particular_a to_o my_o soul_n what_o those_o hint_n and_o gracious_a visitation_n on_o my_o soul_n wherein_o all_o these_o condition_n which_o the_o day_n before_o he_o teach_v i_o i_o be_v to_o take_v such_o special_a notice_n of_o in_o the_o remain_a part_n part_n also_o of_o the_o week_n be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o go_v on_o to_o settle_v and_o far_o open_v these_o truth_n and_o give_v i_o to_o see_v his_o mighty_a hand_n and_o outstretch_a arm_n all_o along_o in_o it_o the_o next_o lord_n day_n be_v the_o nine_o of_o this_o eleven_o month_n 1652._o the_o lord_n be_v please_v also_o to_o come_v in_o through_o that_o ministry_n he_o have_v place_v we_o under_o at_o fulham_n with_o a_o seasonable_a word_n to_o back_o all_o this_o which_o be_v speak_v by_o our_o pastor_n mr._n knight_n from_o heb._n 2._o 2._o that_o the_o word_n of_o god_n they_o be_v steadfast_a word_n abide_v word_n word_n that_o shall_v certain_o abide_v and_o be_v accomplish_v in_o their_o season_n thus_o in_o these_o eight_o day_n now_o last_v past_a have_v the_o lord_n through_z and_o by_o his_o word_n and_o spirit_n be_v please_v to_o give_v into_o my_o soul_n a_o discovery_n of_o his_o gracious_a visitation_n of_o i_o for_o 〈◊〉_d many_o year_n past_a and_o true_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v much_o rob_v the_o lord_n of_o his_o glory_n if_o i_o shall_v not_o acknowledge_v he_o a_o god_n hear_v prayer_n who_o be_v please_v even_o at_o this_o time_n in_o my_o apprehension_n so_o eminent_o to_o appear_v that_o i_o be_v constrain_v in_o spirit_n to_o acknowledge_v it_o and_o do_v and_o do_v desire_v that_o he_o may_v have_v the_o glory_n of_o it_o the_o lord_n have_v of_o late_a thus_o begin_v to_o manifest_v his_o love_a kindness_n to_o my_o soul_n there_o be_v at_o this_o time_n from_o rom._n 13._o 11._o this_o truth_n set_v home_o mighty_o upon_o my_o heart_n that_o this_o time_n of_o god_n appearance_n in_o way_n of_o love_n and_o mercy_n etc._n etc._n be_v the_o only_a bless_a time_n in_o the_o world_n to_o that_o soul_n to_o who_o he_o thus_o appear_v and_o a_o time_n which_o shall_v of_o all_o time_n in_o the_o world_n be_v take_v special_a notice_n of_o and_o careful_o improve_v from_o whence_o i_o have_v further_o many_o seasonable_a instruction_n as_o that_o i_o shall_v walk_v in_o the_o sight_n of_o god_n countenance_n while_o i_o enjoy_v it_o yea_o and_o work_v in_o it_o while_o i_o have_v it_o before_o or_o lest_o darkness_n come_v joh._n 12._o 35_o 36._o &_o joh._n 9_o 4._o yea_o to_o do_v good_a in_o this_o time_n and_o opportunity_n while_o god_n thus_o shine_v upon_o the_o heart_n gal._n 6._o 10._o yea_o and_o to_o improve_v it_o to_o this_o end_n to_o lay_v up_o in_o store_n a_o good_a foundation_n for_o time_n to_o come_v even_o as_o man_n do_v in_o their_o trade_n in_o the_o matter_n of_o this_o world_n 1_o tim._n 6._o 17_o 18_o 19_o yea_o to_o redeem_v this_o time_n ephes_n 5._o 16._o to_o think_v nothing_o too_o much_o to_o buy_v it_o out_o of_o the_o hand_n of_o huckster_n out_o of_o the_o hand_n of_o all_o other_o business_n what_o ever_o in_o this_o world_n and_o
may_v have_v cause_n to_o praise_v he_o even_o to_o all_o eternity_n for_o this_o unspeakable_a mercy_n this_o latter_a be_v write_v in_o the_o behalf_n of_o one_o in_o near_a relation_n afterward_o it_o be_v exceed_o set_v upon_o my_o heart_n not_o to_o do_v it_o only_o in_o his_o behalf_n but_o also_o in_o the_o behalf_n of_o other_o poor_a dark_a soul_n in_o relation_n to_o i_o may_v the_o 4._o oh_o my_o soul_n must_v thou_o not_o needs_o acknowledge_v the_o lord_n a_o god_n hear_v the_o very_a groan_n of_o thy_o soul_n before_o they_o be_v effectual_o put_v up_o put_v in_o at_o the_o very_a time_n a_o seasonable_a word_n into_o the_o mouth_n of_o his_o servant_n suit_v to_o thy_o trouble_n and_o fear_n support_v thy_o spirit_n under_o they_o abundant_o and_o do_v not_o the_o lord_n that_o same_o day_n may_v 4._o by_o a_o letter_n that_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o come_v home_o come_v to_o my_o hand_n give_v my_o soul_n great_a hope_n of_o a_o begin_v work_n upon_o that_o poor_a soul_n which_o come_v as_o it_o be_v as_o a_o fresh_a return_n of_o prayer_n this_o very_a person_n be_v in_o my_o heart_n in_o these_o desire_n that_o be_v then_o put_v up_o may_v 21._o the_o lord_n be_v please_v one_o evening_n very_o much_o to_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n to_o beg_v his_o appearance_n to_o my_o soul_n in_o every_o ordinance_n in_o a_o more_o full_a and_o lively_a manner_n then_o former_o and_o next_o day_n be_v the_o first_o day_n of_o the_o week_n true_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v very_o much_o to_o appear_v in_o the_o morning_n to_o refresh_v and_o cheer_v my_o heart_n and_o so_o also_o in_o the_o ordinance_n of_o the_o supper_n for_o which_o bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n the_o four_o of_o the_o four_o month_n in_o the_o evening_n i_o find_v my_o heart_n very_o dead_a and_o dull_a to_o any_o spiritual_a service_n yet_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o draw_v it_o out_o in_o this_o request_n to_o he_o beg_v a_o special_a presence_n of_o his_o the_o next_o day_n both_o in_o prayer_n and_o preach_v and_o the_o ordinance_n of_o the_o supper_n beg_v the_o lord_n to_o appear_v through_o his_o servant_n that_o be_v to_o administer_v in_o his_o name_n that_o there_o may_v be_v such_o a_o lively_a presence_n and_o appearance_n of_o god_n through_o he_o as_o may_v be_v a_o token_n of_o good_a to_o my_o soul_n and_o true_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v the_o next_o day_n in_o a_o lively_a manner_n to_o appear_v not_o only_o suit_v his_o appearance_n to_o that_o dead_a dull_a frame_n my_o wretched_a heart_n be_v in_o to_o he_o but_o do_v abundant_o above_o even_o my_o expectation_n in_o some_o sense_n ride_v triumphant_o and_o glorious_o in_o the_o chariot_n of_o his_o word_n the_o 13_o of_o this_o four_o month_n in_o the_o evening_n the_o lord_n draw_v out_o my_o heart_n very_o much_o among_o other_o thing_n to_o plead_v with_o he_o to_o discover_v to_o i_o what_o the_o desire_n the_o hungring_n and_o the_o thirsting_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v indeed_o after_o tell_v he_o withal_o that_o as_o far_o as_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n it_o be_v not_o after_o the_o world_n the_o profit_n pleasure_n or_o any_o thing_n in_o it_o beseech_v he_o to_o search_v and_o try_v i_o and_o if_o i_o be_v deceive_v in_o this_o to_o discover_v it_o to_o i_o and_o to_o be_v so_o far_o from_o satisfy_v any_o thirst_n of_o my_o soul_n after_o any_o thing_n beside_o himself_o as_o to_o blast_v it_o and_o to_o make_v i_o sensible_a of_o it_o and_o humble_a before_o he_o for_o it_o but_o tell_v he_o withal_o that_o he_o have_v promise_v that_o he_o that_o hunger_n and_o thirst_v after_o righteousness_n they_o shall_v be_v satisfy_v and_o fill_v and_o true_o if_o i_o know_v any_o thing_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n this_o be_v it_o my_o soul_n wait_v for_o and_o bray_v after_o to_o be_v make_v more_o like_o he_o more_o conformable_a to_o he_o to_o have_v the_o spirit_n of_o a_o child_n put_v upon_o i_o whereby_o i_o may_v be_v more_o like_a unto_o he_o and_o more_o dedicate_v and_o give_v up_o in_o all_o my_o way_n to_o he_o but_o that_o if_o it_o be_v not_o thus_o with_o i_o but_o that_o i_o be_v deceive_v in_o it_o i_o do_v then_o beg_v above_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v discover_v it_o unto_o i_o the_o 25_o of_o this_o four_o month_n my_o spirit_n wasdraw_v out_o to_o beg_v the_o lord_n appearance_n the_o next_o day_n and_o suit_v my_o heart_n to_o it_o which_o i_o find_v in_o a_o very_a dead_a &_o dull_a frame_n beseech_v the_o lord_n that_o his_o appearance_n may_v not_o answer_v that_o wretched_a frame_n my_o heart_n be_v then_o in_o but_o that_o my_o heart_n may_v be_v put_v in_o frame_n to_o meet_v with_o he_o as_o also_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v be_v please_v to_o provide_v a_o portion_n for_o every_o poor_a soul_n that_o desire_v to_o see_v his_o face_n and_o to_o seek_v his_o presence_n that_o they_o may_v find_v some_o word_n suitable_a to_o their_o condition_n and_o how_o rich_o and_o abundant_o do_v the_o lord_n answer_v each_o of_o those_o desire_n both_o in_o behalf_n of_o my_o own_o soul_n and_o also_o on_o the_o behalf_n of_o other_o how_o glorious_o do_v the_o lord_n appear_v and_o ride_v triumphant_o in_o the_o chariot_n of_o his_o word_n this_o day_n in_o the_o morning_n present_v very_o glorious_a useful_a truth_n seasonable_a to_o my_o poor_a soul_n which_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o practice_v and_o make_v use_n of_o enable_v i_o to_o improve_v the_o promise_n to_o this_o great_a work_n of_o clean_v from_o corruption_n yea_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o a_o further_a way_n to_o answer_v my_o desire_n for_o other_o put_v in_o a_o very_a seasonable_a word_n of_o he_o to_o my_o cousin_n jefferson_n concern_v freewill_n who_o be_v much_o in_o my_o thought_n in_o my_o former_a request_n show_v how_o the_o promise_n be_v make_v in_o respect_n of_o our_o own_o weakness_n and_o nothingness_n for_o have_v the_o creature_n any_o power_n god_n need_v not_o promise_v to_o do_v all_o the_o lord_n have_v thus_o appear_v this_o morning_n there_o arise_v in_o my_o heart_n a_o question_n at_o noon_n whether_o i_o shall_v not_o public_o by_o mr._n knight_n offer_v up_o praise_n to_o the_o lord_n for_o this_o appearance_n of_o he_o but_o through_o many_o fear_n that_o arise_v upon_o my_o spirit_n lest_o it_o may_v be_v misconstrue_v as_o if_o i_o do_v desire_v to_o appear_v to_o be_v somebody_o with_o the_o like_a temptation_n be_v keep_v off_o yet_o notwithstanding_o some_o trouble_n to_o my_o spirit_n for_o i_o be_v great_o desirous_a to_o have_v bless_v the_o lord_n public_o for_o it_o yet_o how_o do_v the_o lord_n appear_v in_o answer_n to_o this_o secret_a desire_n of_o i_o for_o mr._n knight_n himself_o upon_o his_o own_o account_n do_v large_o bless_v the_o lord_n for_o his_o appearance_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o day_n and_o so_o throughout_o with_o which_o my_o heart_n do_v real_o close_a and_o so_o do_v our_o sister_n arnal_a as_o she_o say_v afterward_o as_o well_o as_o myself_o great_o rejoice_v that_o the_o lord_n draw_v out_o his_o heart_n in_o that_o wherein_o her_o heart_n and_o mind_n also_o do_v so_o abundant_o join_v our_o brethren_n have_v make_v some_o entrance_n into_o the_o private_a conference_n and_o somewhat_o of_o god_n appear_v from_o several_a of_o they_o my_o heart_n be_v much_o draw_v out_o to_o propound_v some_o question_n to_o they_o have_v two_o or_o three_o thing_n upon_o my_o spirit_n wherein_o i_o be_v much_o unsatisfied_a and_o have_v resolve_v upon_o the_o thing_n in_o general_n there_o arise_v a_o great_a dispute_n in_o my_o spirit_n which_o question_n to_o propound_v first_o for_o they_o all_o leave_v much_o weight_n upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o among_o other_o i_o have_v a_o very_a strong_a desire_n to_o propound_v this_o what_o mean_n may_v be_v best_o available_a for_o the_o subdue_a of_o pride_n and_o strong_a debate_n have_v i_o in_o my_o spirit_n before_o i_o can_v pass_v this_o over_o yet_o at_o the_o last_o my_o spirit_n be_v overcome_v to_o propound_v another_o which_o prove_v very_o suitable_a to_o many_o other_o spirit_n in_o which_o i_o see_v some_o hand_n of_o god_n yet_o do_v my_o heart_n earnest_o long_o after_o some_o resolution_n concern_v that_o of_o pride_n but_o how_o gloriou_o do_v the_o lord_n a_o while_n after_o the_o 26_o of_o this_o four_o month_n appear_v in_o answer_n to_o it_o show_v i_o that_o there_o be_v no_o way_n like_o to_o the_o take_n of_o the_o advantage_n of_o the_o ordinance_n which_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o do_v about_o the_o end_n of_o this_o four_o
month_n observe_v mr._n knight_n somewhat_o astonish_v at_o the_o passage_n of_o providence_n in_o the_o government_n upon_o which_o for_o some_o time_n he_o be_v very_o weak_a in_o pray_v for_o it_o and_o seek_v the_o lord_n for_o they_o in_o place_n which_o be_v a_o great_a trouble_n to_o my_o spirit_n whereupon_o i_o make_v a_o draught_n of_o a_o letter_n to_o send_v to_o he_o wherein_o i_o present_v he_o with_o my_o scatter_a thought_n desire_v he_o to_o take_v a_o view_n of_o what_o he_o deliver_v to_o we_o the_o last_o thanksgiving_n day_n from_o that_o isai_n 65._o 24._o before_o they_o call_v i_o will_v answer_v show_v that_o god_n be_v so_o quick_a in_o his_o work_n in_o these_o latter_a day_n that_o he_o often_o leave_v his_o own_o behind_o with_o some_o other_o such_o hint_n which_o letter_n i_o do_v not_o send_v fear_v to_o press_v too_o far_o upon_o my_o own_o ability_n in_o that_o kind_n but_o how_o abundant_o do_v the_o lord_n answer_v those_o desire_n which_o be_v only_o upon_o my_o heart_n but_o not_o present_v at_o all_o save_v only_o before_o the_o lord_n who_o be_v please_v to_o draw_v out_o his_o heart_n to_o mention_v they_o before_o he_o and_o afterward_o upon_o the_o 10_o of_o the_o 6_o month_n upon_o the_o occasion_n of_o a_o day_n keep_v to_o seek_v the_o lord_n for_o they_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v again_o to_o cast_v in_o thought_n upon_o the_o same_o scripture_n in_o isai_n 65._o 24._o before_o they_o call_v i_o will_v answer_v which_o be_v a_o real_a answer_n of_o my_o poor_a desire_n wherein_o the_o lord_n show_v i_o that_o the_o desire_n i_o have_v be_v yet_o upon_o his_o heart_n for_o which_o bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n who_o though_o thou_o do_v not_o press_v they_o those_o desire_n be_v hinder_v by_o some_o thought_n arise_v in_o my_o own_o mind_n yet_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o to_o see_v the_o desire_a issue_n which_o thou_o do_v aim_v at_o there_o be_v the_o 10_o of_o the_o 6_o month_n at_o a_o private_a day_n of_o humiliation_n we_o keep_v with_o respect_n to_o the_o public_a affair_n of_o the_o nation_n &_o ourselves_o four_o paper_n of_o desire_n put_v up_o to_o the_o lord_n to_o mr._n knight_n these_o two_o first_o the_o lord_n have_v begin_v gracious_o to_o answer_v the_o ten_o of_o this_o six_o month_n the_o first_o be_v this_o one_o to_o who_o the_o lord_n have_v discover_v from_o his_o word_n what_o great_a advantage_n there_o be_v hold_v out_o in_o it_o to_o the_o cleanse_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o perfect_v of_o holiness_n in_o they_o but_o the_o party_n not_o be_v able_a to_o discern_v they_o to_o be_v make_v real_a advantage_n to_o their_o soul_n although_o if_o their_o heart_n deceive_v they_o not_o it_o be_v the_o great_a desire_n and_o expectation_n of_o their_o soul_n to_o perfect_a holiness_n and_o the_o want_n of_o the_o sight_n of_o it_o their_o continue_a burden_n which_o make_v they_o even_o cry_v out_o for_o deliverance_n and_o for_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o the_o time_n wherein_o they_o shall_v dishonour_v god_n no_o more_o but_o shall_v be_v make_v like_o unto_o he_o desire_v your_o remembrance_n before_o the_o lord_n to_o those_o end_n that_o see_v his_o will_n be_v in_o those_o thing_n and_o that_o the_o promise_n be_v so_o full_a concern_v the_o accomplishment_n of_o it_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o discover_v to_o their_o soul_n why_o it_o be_v that_o the_o work_n go_v so_o heavy_o on_o and_o what_o shall_v be_v discover_v to_o be_v the_o let_v it_o may_v also_o by_o he_o be_v remove_v whatever_o it_o be_v though_o in_o thing_n never_o so_o near_o and_o dear_a and_o their_o heart_n support_v and_o bear_v up_o and_o make_v submissively-willing_a to_o lie_v down_o at_o his_o foot_n to_o be_v make_v to_o do_v to_o bear_v to_o suffer_v to_o forsake_v any_o thing_n for_o his_o glory_n but_o how_o gracious_o do_v the_o lord_n this_o same_o day_n be_v the_o ten_o day_n of_o this_o six_o month_n begin_v to_o answer_v one_o main_a thing_n in_o this_o request_n discover_v to_o my_o soul_n that_o haply_o one_o main_a end_n why_o he_o do_v not_o perfect_a this_o work_n of_o holiness_n in_o i_o but_o suffer_v corruption_n still_o to_o work_v may_v be_v that_o i_o may_v yet_o cry_v out_o more_o mighty_o to_o he_o haply_o i_o have_v not_o be_v so_o importunate_a in_o my_o desire_n after_o sanctification_n as_o after_o remission_n and_o pardon_n and_o the_o sight_n of_o sin_n and_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v have_v i_o yet_o to_o cry_v more_o mighty_o and_o wrestle_v it_o out_o with_o he_o and_o resolve_v to_o give_v he_o no_o rest_n yet_o not_o that_o i_o shall_v content_v myself_o in_o pour_v out_o those_o desire_n to_o he_o and_o so_o rest_v there_o as_o be_v also_o hint_v to_o i_o the_o same_o day_n but_o to_o be_v watchful_a over_o my_o heart_n and_o conscience_n watch_v and_o pray_v call_v and_o cry_v until_o the_o lord_n appear_v and_o not_o to_o think_v it_o enough_o to_o spread_v these_o desire_n before_o the_o lord_n and_o then_o give_v way_n to_o sin_n and_o temptation_n and_o corruption_n and_o as_o be_v the_o next_o day_n the_o eleven_o of_o this_o 6_o month_n 1653._o hint_v to_o i_o what_o be_v god_n end_n in_o discover_v the_o power_n and_o strength_n of_o sin_n but_o that_o we_o come_v more_o near_o to_o he_o and_o by_o faith_n roll_n upon_o his_o covenant_n and_o promise_v for_o strength_n against_o it_o and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n what_o be_v satan_n end_n in_o set_v home_o sin_n with_o the_o aggravation_n of_o it_o but_o to_o make_v we_o sit_v down_o in_o discouragement_n now_o o_o my_o soul_n be_v it_o better_o for_o thou_o to_o accomplish_v god_n end_n or_o satan_n end_n oh_o therefore_o close_o in_o with_o god_n &_o beg_v power_n and_o strength_n of_o he_o to_o do_v it_o nay_o in_o far_a answer_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o enable_v i_o to_o expostulate_v with_o that_o unbelief_n and_o first_o of_o my_o own_o heart_n this_o eleven_o day_n say_v o_o my_o soul_n be_v it_o not_o thy_o duty_n to_o believe_v for_o be_v it_o not_o say_v bless_a be_v they_o that_o believe_v though_o thou_o see_v not_o lust_n and_o corruption_n subdue_v by_o the_o eye_n of_o sense_n yet_o o_o my_o soul_n roll_n upon_o the_o covenant_n and_o promise_n by_o faith_n for_o faith_n be_v the_o substance_n of_o thing_n not_o see_v and_o the_o evidence_n of_o thing_n hope_v for_o therefore_o when_o thou_o come_v to_o be_v full_o rid_v of_o this_o body_n of_o death_n than_o faith_n shall_v cease_v and_o be_v of_o no_o use_n but_o now_o be_v the_o time_n to_o act_v faith_n when_o thou_o can_v by_o the_o eye_n of_o sense_n see_v nothing_o but_o thyself_o to_o be_v compass_v in_o with_o a_o body_n of_o death_n and_o corruption_n and_o for_o the_o want_n of_o the_o sight_n of_o holiness_n perfect_v in_o the_o fear_n of_o god_n the_o lord_n do_v not_o only_o discover_v that_o his_o will_n lie_v in_o this_o work_n that_o it_o be_v his_o will_n even_o our_o sanctification_n and_o that_o we_o may_v well_o remember_v he_o with_o it_o and_o pray_v as_o he_o teach_v we_o that_o his_o will_n may_v be_v do_v so_o it_o shall_v certain_o be_v but_o do_v the_o lord_n discover_v to_o my_o soul_n the_o eleven_o of_o this_o month_n that_o this_o also_o be_v part_n of_o the_o prayer_n of_o christ_n sanctify_v they_o through_o thy_o truth_n joh._n 17._o and_o he_o say_v in_o joh._n 11._o speak_v at_o lasazrus_n his_o grave_n i_o thank_v thou_o o_o father_n that_o thou_o have_v hear_v i_o always_o but_o i_o speak_v it_o for_o their_o sake_n that_o they_o may_v believe_v now_o o_o my_o soul_n if_o this_o be_v christ_n prayer_n and_o that_o as_o he_o say_v joh._n 17._o not_o for_o the_o disciple_n only_o but_o all_o that_o shall_v after_o believe_v and_o if_o god_n hear_v he_o in_o what_o ever_o he_o ask_v as_o he_o say_v he_o do_v then_o o_o my_o soul_n up_o and_o believe_v for_o this_o work_n shall_v certain_o go_v on_o the_o truth_n be_v the_o lord_n do_v herein_o not_o only_o answer_v to_o this_o but_o to_o the_o other_o request_n also_o that_o be_v this_o day_n present_v so_o that_o the_o lord_n do_v answer_v they_o both_o even_o as_o i_o do_v at_o once_o present_v they_o both_o bless_v for_o ever_o be_v his_o name_n which_o gracious_a answer_n cause_v my_o soul_n the_o next_o day_n to_o present_v this_o short_a desire_n also_o to_o mr._n knight_n to_o be_v put_v up_o to_o god_n in_o way_n of_o thanks_o say_v one_o who_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v through_o rich_a grace_n and_o mercy_n to_o hear_v and_o answer_v since_o our_o last_o meeting_n desire_v to_o
more_o upon_o i_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v hardly_o be_v able_a to_o wait_v upon_o the_o lord_n in_o his_o administration_n the_o next_o day_n desire_v the_o lord_n to_o direct_v i_o what_o to_o do_v and_o submit_v my_o will_n to_o he_o yet_o very_o early_o that_o morning_n i_o have_v many_o reason_n in_o myself_o what_o to_o do_v be_v loath_a to_o distrust_v the_o power_n of_o god_n that_o i_o have_v so_o often_o find_v eminent_o hold_v out_o to_o i_o and_o yet_o unwilling_a to_o tempt_v the_o lord_n to_o appear_v to_o i_o in_o any_o extraordinary_a way_n desire_v much_o his_o direction_n at_o last_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o enable_v i_o to_o resolve_v to_o go_v notwithstanding_o i_o be_v exceed_v ill_o of_o a_o extraordinary_a cold_a beseech_v the_o lord_n to_o appear_v to_o my_o soul_n and_o as_o he_o be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o that_o probability_n of_o the_o enjoyment_n of_o he_o once_o more_o that_o it_o may_v be_v a_o bless_a opportunity_n to_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o his_o mighty_a power_n and_o spirit_n may_v accompany_v every_o word_n and_o hint_n to_o my_o soul_n that_o it_o may_v be_v of_o spiritual_a advantage_n to_o i_o such_o as_o i_o may_v have_v cause_n to_o bless_v his_o name_n for_o and_o also_o to_o mould_v i_o into_o whatever_o truth_n he_o shall_v reveal_v to_o i_o that_o day_n and_o true_o i_o desire_v to_o acknowledge_v that_o the_o nineteenth_o day_n of_o this_o twelve_o month_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v very_o glorious_o to_o appear_v through_o his_o word_n administer_v by_o our_o dear_a pastor_n both_o in_o the_o exposition_n of_o the_o end_n of_o the_o 14._o of_o matt._n as_o also_o in_o both_o sermon_n this_o day_n at_o which_o time_n he_o begin_v to_o discourse_v upon_o the_o 45_o psalm_n but_o do_v only_o handle_v the_o title_n of_o it_o this_o day_n from_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o hint_n out_o very_o precious_a glorious_a useful_a yea_o seasonable_a instruction_n to_o my_o soul_n which_o i_o desire_v earnest_o to_o beg_v of_o god_n to_o cast_v and_o mould_v my_o heart_n into_o yea_o such_o truth_n as_o prove_v a_o answer_n to_o several_a desire_n of_o my_o soul_n many_o day_n before_o and_o to_o the_o groan_n of_o my_o soul_n before_o the_o lord_n even_o continual_o almost_o to_o wit_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v be_v please_v to_o gather_v my_o heart_n out_o of_o all_o thing_n below_o jesus_n christ_n and_o give_v i_o to_o the_o end_n such_o a_o sight_n of_o my_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n as_o may_v indeed_o take_v my_o heart_n from_o all_o other_o thing_n now_o that_o at_o this_o time_n the_o lord_n shall_v thus_o seasonable_o cast_v his_o thought_n upon_o such_o a_o scripture_n as_o this_o it_o do_v cause_v my_o soul_n to_o admire_v the_o riches_n of_o his_o grace_n and_o condescension_n to_o such_o a_o worm_n yea_o whereas_o my_o spirit_n have_v of_o late_o be_v great_o trouble_v about_o my_o foolish_a conversation_n be_v not_o such_o as_o may_v any_o way_n adorn_v the_o gospel_n walk_v very_o unseemly_a in_o all_o my_o relation_n and_o very_o much_o offend_v therein_o with_o my_o tongue_n which_o have_v occasion_v many_o a_o sad_a thought_n upon_o my_o heart_n and_o many_o a_o sigh_n and_o groan_n yea_o tear_n before_o the_o lord_n to_o set_v a_o watch_n before_o my_o mouth_n and_o subdue_v this_o wicked_a iniquity_n in_o i_o and_o now_o do_v the_o lord_n this_o day_n lie_v open_a the_o spring_n the_o root_n the_o cause_n of_o it_o my_o eye_n be_v not_o as_o it_o ought_v upon_o my_o heart_n nor_o my_o heart_n as_o it_o ought_v to_o be_v upon_o jesus_n christ_n nor_o when_o it_o be_v upon_o he_o be_v it_o in_o a_o boil_a frame_n for_o as_o by_o he_o hint_v be_v the_o heart_n boil_v hot_a about_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n the_o tongue_n can_v not_o issue_v out_o such_o vanity_n as_o it_o do_v now_o dear_a lord_n let_v not_o these_o thing_n be_v spread_v before_o i_o in_o vain_a i_o beseech_v thou_o but_o do_v thou_o by_o the_o mighty_a power_n of_o thy_o spirit_n make_v they_o of_o singular_a use_n unto_o i_o the_o 11_o of_o this_o first_o month_n the_o lord_n draw_v out_o my_o heart_n very_o much_o among_o other_o thing_n to_o beg_v of_o he_o to_o manifest_v himself_o in_o that_o relation_n of_o a_o husband_n to_o my_o soul_n more_o and_o more_o let_v i_o to_o find_v and_o feel_v what_o it_o be_v experimental_o to_o be_v embrace_v by_o he_o and_o gather_v up_o into_o more_o intimate_a communion_n with_o he_o and_o much_o more_o to_o this_o effect_n the_o next_o morning_n he_o cause_v my_o soul_n to_o breath_n out_o in_o this_o manner_n that_o though_o i_o be_v every_o way_n unfit_a for_o communion_n with_o he_o yet_o beseech_v he_o to_o appear_v to_o my_o soul_n and_o a_o sight_n of_o himself_o will_v much_o rejoice_v my_o heart_n tell_v he_o that_o as_o he_o have_v often_o appear_v glorious_o in_o this_o kind_n so_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o let_v my_o soul_n find_v once_o again_o by_o experience_n his_o mighty_a power_n to_o break_v out_o through_o what_o ever_o instrument_n he_o shall_v please_v to_o make_v use_n of_o this_o day_n that_o i_o may_v through_o they_o have_v a_o glorious_a sight_n of_o himself_o in_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v great_o to_o bow_v down_o appear_v gracious_o through_o mr._n price_n who_o speak_v to_o we_o in_o his_o name_n the_o 12._o day_n of_o this_o first_o month._n upon_o the_o 26._o day_n of_o this_o first_o month_n 1654._o we_o go_v to_o james_n expect_v to_o have_v hear_v mr._n cradock_n but_o when_o we_o come_v there_o we_o hear_v there_o will_v be_v a_o stranger_n at_o which_o i_o be_v much_o trouble_v in_o my_o spirit_n and_o after_o some_o debate_n in_o myself_o i_o begin_v to_o repine_v but_o expect_v the_o lord_n may_v have_v some_o seasonable_a word_n for_o i_o and_o true_o bless_v be_v his_o name_n there_o be_v many_o seasonable_a thing_n hint_v to_o my_o soul_n by_o he_o which_o both_o refresh_v &_o stay_v my_o spirit_n the_o next_o day_n at_o night_n be_v the_o 27_o of_o this_o first_o month_n among_o other_o thing_n when_o i_o be_v seek_v of_o the_o lord_n he_o draw_v out_o my_o soul_n with_o some_o measure_n of_o sensibleness_n of_o his_o hand_n upon_o our_o pastor_n what_o a_o sad_a stroke_n it_o will_v be_v if_o the_o lord_n shall_v strip_v we_o of_o he_o take_v he_o from_o we_o oh_o what_o will_v become_v of_o god_n glory_n how_o will_v his_o and_o our_o enemy_n insult_v over_o we_o though_o it_o be_v true_a we_o have_v deserve_v it_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o have_v to_o be_v strip_v of_o this_o mercy_n and_o scatter_v from_o each_o other_o because_o we_o have_v be_v no_o more_o fruitful_a under_o all_o the_o mercy_n mean_n and_o appearance_n of_o god_n through_o he_o and_o i_o beg_v to_o sanctify_v his_o hand_n upon_o he_o both_z as_o to_o he_o and_o we_o &_o teach_v we_o all_o to_o improve_v it_o and_o know_v his_o mind_n in_o it_o desire_v the_o lord_n withal_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o hasten_v and_o accomplish_v his_o work_n through_o this_o dispensation_n and_o in_o his_o own_o time_n to_o command_v health_n and_o deliverance_n to_o we_o and_o give_v in_o this_o mercy_n as_o a_o pledge_n of_o his_o love_n among_o we_o that_o he_o may_v come_v again_o among_o we_o fill_v with_o the_o spirit_n and_o ready_a to_o break_v out_o those_o discovery_n of_o god_n upon_o his_o heart_n and_o that_o we_o also_o may_v be_v fit_v for_o this_o mercy_n and_o make_v more_o ready_a to_o receive_v impression_n from_o god_n through_o he_o then_o former_o and_o for_o my_o own_o soul_n after_o many_o request_n for_o the_o subdue_a of_o corruption_n and_o regulate_v my_o affection_n and_o take_v off_o my_o heart_n from_o all_o thing_n here_o below_o and_o place_v it_o upon_o the_o lord_n jesus_n after_o which_o and_o many_o other_o request_n the_o lord_n draw_v out_o my_o heart_n with_o desire_n that_o if_o the_o lord_n see_v it_o meet_v to_o add_v another_o night_n or_o another_o day_n to_o i_o that_o he_o will_v together_o with_o it_o give_v i_o a_o heart_n to_o serve_v he_o in_o it_o and_o that_o as_o he_o renew_v the_o light_n and_o raise_v from_o sleep_n so_o that_o he_o will_v inlve_v my_o heart_n in_o his_o way_n and_o quicken_v up_o my_o soul_n to_o a_o more_o lively_a service_n of_o he_o and_o if_o the_o lord_n see_v it_o meet_v to_o give_v i_o one_o opportunity_n more_o to_o hear_v his_o word_n that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o fit_v i_o for_o it_o and_o to_o come_v in_o through_o whatsoever_o instrument_n he_o shall_v please_v that_o my_o soul_n may_v have_v such_o a_o bless_a sight_n of_o he_o