about and laugh Clerk I had certainly laugh'd in the Judges Face but for consideration of you Sir La. Clerk take heed you be very just Clerk As your own heart ' y faith Bo. How thou wilt get clear of the Judge when he comes to have his Deer out of Whetstones Park I know not Her I have a harder task by half I am to help Aimwell to one of the rich Heiresses I have told him a damn'd Lie La. Like enough prethee what is it Her I told him the Guardian and I were intimate Friends old Acquaintants and Schoolfellows and the Devil take me if I ever saw him in my life yet I am resolv'd to face him down that we are dear Friends and old Acquaintants and that 's as hard a task as ever impudence undertook Bo. Faith so 't is considering the great Spirit of the Guardian Her I 'll do it for all that Sq. Give me thy hand Father I commend thy impudence old La. Bravely resolv'd come I will first treat thee then go with thee and back thee manfully Exeunt FOURTH ACT. SCENE I. Enter Lord Arminger Guardian Mariana Waiters Lo. WAit in the next Room Sel. I am prouder to have the great Lord Arminger under this mean Roof than haughty Princes are of Empire and I bow with such reverence to your person as holy men do to the holy Altar and with the same humility offer my Oblation up receive her as from Heaven for she is fraught with virtue equal with the Angels Lo. Sir I admire you with more than common wonder Guardians usually make price of the innocent Orphans in their charge but you are more than just you are kind and to that degree which Parents have for Children Sel. I shall betray my self with violent fondness such torrents of love flow in me that I think the World too little for her Dower Ma. Indeed my Lord his tender care seems to have more of Father than Guardian in 't in which we hold our selves most highly blessed Sel. My good Lord I leave you to make your Court where doubtless you 'll find your love most worthily and readily received Exit Seldin Lo. Madam your Uncle spoke largly of your Virtues to me but nothing of your Person and now I see the cause for 't is impossible the capacity of Man shou'd reach the character of so much Beauty as I now behold and all the rest must needs submit to crown you Goddess of your admired Sex Ma. My Lord you answer not your character you were rendered to me the onely Man of Honour Truth and Justice and I hear nothing but aâ—ery Complement fine Poetical Flattery fit onely to catch Girls Lo. Madam by my Honour and that 's my dearest treasure I flatter not but speak truth just as my heart conceives it therefore I again declare you are the onely Beauty that ever yet my eye encountered and I find a dotage stealing on me more than common love Ma. Hold my Lord I command you for sure she may command that is so much admired therefore by that precious Gemm your Honour are those sweet words you 've spoken truth Lo. Madam by all the bliss I hope for I have no falshood in me Ma. Then stop and go no further in your love I charge you for I must never be your Wife Lo. How Madam I came prepar'd by your Uncle this day to marry you Ma. O my Lord that day is further off than the unknown uncertain hour of Doom Lo. Madam if there be cause for this your cruelty reveal it and by the Original of all Honour here I swear this Bosom is your Grave to bury all your Secrets Ma. I believe you my Lord with the same Faith I do Religion Lo. Madam you have repriev'd my Life by thinking me worthy of your thoughts though unworthy of your love Ma. O my honoured Lord it is my unworthiness not yours that must for ever keep this cruel distance Lo. What e'er the reason is that cannot be it say you 're contracted unknown to your Uncle say any cruel thing but that Ma. Then I declare the noble character my Uncle gave me of your Lordship sprung in me a true and perfect love which made my desires so violent to see you that since my life till now was more uneasie than a sick mans restless night and yet must never marry Lo. Never was man pleased and startled so at once Infinitely pleased to hear you say you love but strangly startled that you ne'er must marry the thought frights me the Ghosts of murder'd men shake not guilty Slaves as that resolve shakes me I find Man is not fortified to bear the frights of love I beseech you Madam if you have cause for this your resolution give me some ease by imparting it Ma. It is so dreadful for a good man to hear but if your Lordship will ask my Uncles leave to carry me and my Sister abroâ—d you then shall know why you and I must never marry Lo. Your resolution has dispersed my spirits so they are never more to be collected all within me lies confused a mad man's bloud 's in better temper and I am all on fire till I am satisfied Ma. My Lord I am destroyed if you reveal me Lo. You are more cruel in distrusting that than in refusing me Ma. Your pardon and henceforth my trust shall ever rest in you Exeunt SCENE II. Enter Sir Hercules Bowman Aimwell Laton Overwise Aim You have put me off from time to time and I am resolved to be no longer fooled therefore try your Interest you boast of with the Guardian or Her Well Fool doubt not me in the least this is the greatest strait I ever yet was put to Bowman for me to salute and impudently embrace a man of his high spirit and face him down that we are dearland intimate Friends and yet never saw him the Devil take me 't is a damn'd audacious task Bo. However go forward here 's my hand thou shalt not suffer Her Then dear Impudence stand my friend this one push and I 'll own thee for my Patron all my life La. Here comes the Guardian bear up Knight Omnes Your most humble Servant Sir Enter Seldin Sel. Gentlemen I am to crave your pardon my Niecâ—s are not this day to be seen however the freedom of my house I tender you with all the respect imaginable Her Sure Sir Marmaduke you will let your intimate Friend see your Nieces dear Rogue how dost thou do Own me for your Friend and Schoolfellow 't will be thousands in your way This worthy Gentleman dear Friend thou must know Sel. It will concern me more to know you Sir for in my life I never met such confidence Her Why how now Marmaduke has your Guardianship made you proud have you forgot your self Sel. What the Devil means this Fellow Gentlemen who knows this Creature or who brought him hither Aim We all know him and he brought us hither pretending more Interest
her Seaman shall appear at that window like Ghosts call him Bloudy Murderer bid him repent and so vanish Ma. That must shake his Spirits being guilty and I hope may work upon his hardned heart Lo. We all hope that I much approve of this contrivance and if you please I 'll instantly about it Bel. My Lord we shall for ever own the obligation In. Good Honey Lord take heed my naughty Nunâ—le do not kill you now Lo. Sweet lovely Innocentia I thank you your faithful Seavant Ladies Exit Lord. In. Faithful to us all marra I se sure Iste have the least share of you then Bel. Come dear Mariana this tryal I hope will bring your poor Father to an humble penitence Ma. It is the onely blessing upon earth my Soul prays for Fi. I hope for something else upon earth before I die Sister Omnes We shall all rejoyce to see you both enjoy your wishes Exeunt FIFTH ACT. SCENE I. Enter Buffoon Bowman Laton La. O Sir Hercules there 's rods in piss for you ' y saith my Uncle is so incens'd against thee for putting that damn'd Joke of Whetstones Park upon him that he resolves to have the whole Nation search'd but he will have thee Her I thought a Deer out of Whetstones Park had been welcomer to him than all the Venizon i' th' world how came he to know it Bo. Why it seems he inquir'd of some of his Brother Lawyers where about in Middlesex a place call'd Whetstones Park stood and withall told 'em he had bargain'd for two Brace of Deer yearly out on 't during his life La. Upon that they all fell a laughing at him ready to split and told him it was a Park of Bawdy-houses which made him fall into so great a rage that he has sent his Clerk Constables and Devil and all to search for thee Her Why you know 't was Sir Thomas Lovill with the wooden Leg that put Whetstones Park upon him I 'll go to him as I am Sir Hercules and bid him produce his lame Knave Sir Thomas Lovill hast thou the Deed of thy Fathers Estate Man La. I have it Old Boy he was so pleas'd that I fought with thee in the defence of his Reputation that he gave me the Deed presently and the Lawyerâ— assure me that it is aâ— firm a Deed as ever yet was maâ—e Her Then never â—ear me I 'll get off well enough I 'll warrant you La. I 'll own the whole to him come we 'll contrive it as we go Exeunt SCENE II. Enter Lord Arminger and Guardian Lo. Sir Marmaduke I have something to impart to you but you being subject to violent passions I am not willing to communicate such unwelcom news to you Sel My Lord to shew the dear respect I bear you passion shall be my slave for once I 'll stop his violent source and yoke him to humility therefore let me know the worst of ill my cruel Fate has destin'd Lo. In short your Nieces are fallen desperately ill Sel. Is that all my Lord if they be sick we will have a Doctor Lo. Not sick but worse a ghastly fear and trembling has possest them something appears to 'em and frights 'em for they ran to me and cryed Save us Save us and ask'd me if I saw nothing and pointed with their Fingers crying aloud There they are There they are have they ever had such Fits before Sel. Often my Lord often ever when they dream of Hopgoblins the next day they run to me for shelter dam 'em their base womanish fear will destroy their glorious preferment Lo. Their desperate Fits wou'd make me think 'em guilty of Murder but for my full persuasion of their sweet and blessed innocence and what unspeakable comfort it is to be innocent what say you Sir Sel. Yes it is a fine childish comfort for to be innocent is to be ignorant to be ignorant is to know nothing and they that know nothing are unworthy to be reckon'd of the race of Man And that is my opinion of Innocence my Lord. Lo. I am troubled to hear this it is no religious Answer Sel. It was no religious Question I wou'd see my Nieces are they here my Lord Lo. Yes they are here bloudy Villain I 'll fetch those blessed Innocents which by thy virtuous Daughters were preserv'd Ghost above Sel. Ha ha what thou art a foolish Scarcrow call'd a Ghost art thou not Lo. Who is 't you speak to what is 't you sâ—e Sel. Nothing I speak to nothing I see nothing do you my Lord Lo. No Sir but such distracted starts as those your Nieces had Sel. Then good my Lord withdraw in short the Devil and I have conference once a week and now 's the time Lo. I 'll fetch your Nieces their Virtues may fright your Devil â—way Exit Lord. Sel. Now thou venemous Serpent clad in ghostly white come down that I may kill thee over again and so have thee doubly damn'd Sea Thou canst not Fool hurt me I am an aiery Spirit Sel. Come down and I 'll knead and mould thy aiery Spirit into substance that I may tear it into air again what art thou Sea A damn'd Soul of thy preferring dispatch and die the Devils are stark made in Hell that thou art so long on Earth therefore make haste they want thee Sel. If the Devil wants me let him if he dares come fetch me I dare him and his whole Host of Furies bring Proserpine his Wife and in spite of all his Guards I 'll keep her here on earth and make Prince Pluto my Cuckold and what a shame 't wou'd be to Hell to have it said Miss Proserpine is kept Sea Cease thy madness Fool I am that Seaman who undertook the bloudy Murder of thy Nieces but was prevented by being all drowned at Sea Sel. Drowned art thou sure of it Sea Too sure Sel. Then take notice I am their Heir at Law come down sweet Ghost and let me kiss thee for never did Spirit bring such blessed news Bel. O wicked Uncle repent In. Repent for thou's my naughty Nuncle Sel. What a Yorkshire Ghost what Northern Devil is thy Guardian now Sea Since thou canst not wretched man repent behold us all in flesh and bloud and clad in pure innocence Sel. Alive all alive O happy hour O blessed minute Come come down dear Nieces and behold your poor Uncle rejoycing in his tears to find you all thus secretly preserved what Saint was 't that saved you Bel. Your virtuous Children so we come good Uncle In. Take heed thou dissemble not good Nuncle Exeunt above Sel. My own Daughters betray me I that thought my subtilty above the reach of Devils by Children to be deluded O dam ' em how like innocent truth their words fell from 'em and I an infatuated Fool believed Enter Lord Fidelia Belmaria Innocentia Lidia Seaman Lo. Sir Marmaduke I take you in my arms and am o'erjoy'd to see such penitential tears flow
from you Sel. O my Lord I find my Children have made known my wicked purpose and my shame confounds me so I dare not look upon your virtuous Figure O let me see my heavenly Babes Ma. Here dear Father let us for ever kneel and for evermore thank Heaven for this your blest conversion Fi. O dear Sir what comfort 't is to see you satisfied that these are safe Sel. A blessed comfort indeed they are Saints my Lord too good to dwell on Earth and therefore shall to Heaven thus Stabs Mariana Lord and Seaman disarm him ye Devils Lo. Hold thou cursed Wretch take his Sword from 's side whilest I disarm him of his Dagger Fi. Run run for Surgeons let all the Houshold run Lo. Houshold imploy the whole World for Surgeons and let all the business of the Earth stanâ— still till Mariana be recovered Ma. Have merâ—y on my distressed Father my Lord. Sel. A curse on thee for a Religious Jilt Lo. What can he now expect but publick justice for all the Records of Hell cannot produce such wickedness as is in thee but for Mariana's sake yet repent and all shall be forgot Sel. Repent Seaman that Lord 's turn'd Fool did Quality ever trouble it self with repentance before it lies not in the road of Greatness Fetch me the Devil and I 'll thank you I have revengful work for him and his whole Tribe give me my Sword Sea You are in no conâ—ition to be trusted with a Sword Sir Sel. Lord of all Mankind trust not that treacherous Slave he once seemed to me the bravest and the bloudiest Villain that ever Man or Devil imployed and the false Dog turn'd tail prov'd honest and betray'd me My Children too prov'd false who wou'd stay in this wicked world I and my damn'd Issue will out on 't to see them â—ry in torments wou'd please me better than to be a Monarch Lo. Thou Wretch think of thy Soul and then repent Sel. I cannot revenge allows no time to think of Souls the Heralds know every thing takes place of Penitence that comes sneaking behind and is allow'd no place of Honour but Vengeance rides i' th' front o' th' battel and I his right hand man therefore this Tongue shall never utter any worâ—s but Vengeance Furies and Torments Torments Furies and Vengeance revenge Devils revenge Exit Seldin Lo. What an Example of Desperation's here Pray you Siâ— be careful of hiâ— till I senâ— Ministers to comfort him I wonder so wicked a man shou'd have such virtuous children Exeunt SCENE III. Enter Judge and Clerk at one door Bowman Laton Buffoon Squire at another La. Clerk take heed be sure you be true to us Clerk I 'll stick as close to you as your Shirt Sir Her Save you my Lord I understand one Lovill a Rogue with one eye and a wooden leg has inform'd you that I have with most reproachful and ignominious words bespatter'd your Judgship Jud. Oho! then it seems you are Sir Hercules Buffoon that have as you call it bespatter'd me write a Warrant Clerk I 'll clap you up and clap an Action of ten thousand pounds upon you for scandal Sir Sq. That will be a damn'd Clap indeed Clap him up and Clap an Action this Judge talks of nothing but Claps I believe he knows Whetstones Paâ—k better than I do Her Clap me up I scorn your words my Lord bring that Villain Lovill to my â—ace to justifie his words if he dare Jud. I am afraid Clerk he dares not come because of the roguish bargain he put upon me of two Brace of Deer out of Whetstones Park it seems a Park of Baâ—dy-houses Rogue Rogue Sq. My Lord I 'll take that bargain off your hands I 'll give you two Brace of Fallow Deer for your two Brace of Whetstone Jud. Yours is such another Park as Whetstone I suppose but for Lovill I 'll clap him up in a Jayl where he shall never come out Sq. Another Clap this old Fellow has been a Swinger in 's days Her He 's a sherking Knave and no Knight my Lord. Jud. How came he to be call'd so then Bo. In the time of the Civil Wars he found friends it seems to get a blaâ—k Warrant for a Baronet and not finding a good Customer for it he sawcily bestow'd the Honour upon himself Jud. He is the first Subject that ever made himself a Knight Her Not by some few my Lord but I am told you threaten to undo me for which I 'll clap an Action of the Casâ— upon you my Lord. Sq. Then there will be Clap for your Clap and the stone in your foot still my Lord. Jud. If I find this Lovill I 'll purge your ill manners for you Her The Rogues Oath will not be taken he has been Knight of the â—ost these twenty years there came in his Knighthood 't is his trade he has nothing else to live on Jud. Did you ever hear two men rail at one another thus Sir Bo. I think the like was never known my Lord. Jud. Well till Lovill be found I 'll secure you Sir Her I defie both Law and Lawyers for I have a Protection Jud. A Protection I believe the Devil voids Protections faster than Children void Worms let me see it Sir Her I have it not yet but if you 'll call for a Pen and Ink I 'll write my self one presently Jud. This Fellow seems to be some Jester rather than a Knight Bo. He may be a Jester and yet a Knight too Jud. But hold Clerk was not this Gentleman here with Sir Thomas Lovill Bo. My Lord I was not here I have a Twin Brother indeed very like me I suppose it might be him Jud. That may be but I am certain this young Squire was here and said he was Lovill's Son Sq. My Lord I was not here I have a Twin Brother indeed very like me I suppose it might be him Jud. This Fellow 's a Fool and not a Squire sure Sq. My Lord a Fool and a Squire are Twin too you 'll scarce know one from the other Jud. Clerk sure this is Sir Thomas Lovill's Son Sq. I had rather be thought the Son of a Whore Lovill's a Rogue that deals with Pick-pockets and can help people to stolen goods again Bo. This is you all this while Knight Jud. You all deny the truth Sir Buffoon you 'll deny too that my Nephew cudgell'd you Her I scorn to be cudgell'd I confess he caned me indeed and he kick'd me so that my Haaches look as black as a Westphaâ—ia Ham or the Traytors Quarters upon the City gates La. Upon my word my Lord I never caned nor kick'd him nor did I ever in my life see the man before this day Jud. Did you not beat him then for abusing me so grosly La. No my Lord. Jud. Then give me my Deed again Sirrah La. No my Lord. Jud. Why did you own you base Fellow that you were caned and kick'd Her Because my Lord I