may_v have_v cause_n to_o praise_v he_o even_o to_o all_o eternity_n for_o this_o unspeakable_a mercy_n this_o latter_a be_v write_v in_o the_o behalf_n of_o one_o in_o near_a relation_n afterward_o it_o be_v exceed_o set_v upon_o my_o heart_n not_o to_o do_v it_o only_o in_o his_o behalf_n but_o also_o in_o the_o behalf_n of_o other_o poor_a dark_a soul_n in_o relation_n to_o i_o may_v the_o 4._o oh_o my_o soul_n must_v thou_o not_o needs_o acknowledge_v the_o lord_n a_o god_n hear_v the_o very_a groan_n of_o thy_o soul_n before_o they_o be_v effectual_o put_v up_o put_v in_o at_o the_o very_a time_n a_o seasonable_a word_n into_o the_o mouth_n of_o his_o servant_n suit_v to_o thy_o trouble_n and_o fear_n support_v thy_o spirit_n under_o they_o abundant_o and_o do_v not_o the_o lord_n that_o same_o day_n may_v 4._o by_o a_o letter_n that_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o come_v home_o come_v to_o my_o hand_n give_v my_o soul_n great_a hope_n of_o a_o begin_v work_n upon_o that_o poor_a soul_n which_o come_v as_o it_o be_v as_o a_o fresh_a return_n of_o prayer_n this_o very_a person_n be_v in_o my_o heart_n in_o these_o desire_n that_o be_v then_o put_v up_o may_v 21._o the_o lord_n be_v please_v one_o evening_n very_o much_o to_o draw_v out_o my_o heart_n to_o beg_v his_o appearance_n to_o my_o soul_n in_o every_o ordinance_n in_o a_o more_o full_a and_o lively_a manner_n then_o former_o and_o next_o day_n be_v the_o first_o day_n of_o the_o week_n true_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v very_o much_o to_o appear_v in_o the_o morning_n to_o refresh_v and_o cheer_v my_o heart_n and_o so_o also_o in_o the_o ordinance_n of_o the_o supper_n for_o which_o bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n the_o four_o of_o the_o four_o month_n in_o the_o evening_n i_o find_v my_o heart_n very_o dead_a and_o dull_a to_o any_o spiritual_a service_n yet_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o draw_v it_o out_o in_o this_o request_n to_o he_o beg_v a_o special_a presence_n of_o his_o the_o next_o day_n both_o in_o prayer_n and_o preach_v and_o the_o ordinance_n of_o the_o supper_n beg_v the_o lord_n to_o appear_v through_o his_o servant_n that_o be_v to_o administer_v in_o his_o name_n that_o there_o may_v be_v such_o a_o lively_a presence_n and_o appearance_n of_o god_n through_o he_o as_o may_v be_v a_o token_n of_o good_a to_o my_o soul_n and_o true_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v the_o next_o day_n in_o a_o lively_a manner_n to_o appear_v not_o only_o suit_v his_o appearance_n to_o that_o dead_a dull_a frame_n my_o wretched_a heart_n be_v in_o to_o he_o but_o do_v abundant_o above_o even_o my_o expectation_n in_o some_o sense_n ride_v triumphant_o and_o glorious_o in_o the_o chariot_n of_o his_o word_n the_o 13_o of_o this_o four_o month_n in_o the_o evening_n the_o lord_n draw_v out_o my_o heart_n very_o much_o among_o other_o thing_n to_o plead_v with_o he_o to_o discover_v to_o i_o what_o the_o desire_n the_o hungring_n and_o the_o thirsting_n of_o my_o soul_n be_v indeed_o after_o tell_v he_o withal_o that_o as_o far_o as_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n it_o be_v not_o after_o the_o world_n the_o profit_n pleasure_n or_o any_o thing_n in_o it_o beseech_v he_o to_o search_v and_o try_v i_o and_o if_o i_o be_v deceive_v in_o this_o to_o discover_v it_o to_o i_o and_o to_o be_v so_o far_o from_o satisfy_v any_o thirst_n of_o my_o soul_n after_o any_o thing_n beside_o himself_o as_o to_o blast_v it_o and_o to_o make_v i_o sensible_a of_o it_o and_o humble_a before_o he_o for_o it_o but_o tell_v he_o withal_o that_o he_o have_v promise_v that_o he_o that_o hunger_n and_o thirst_v after_o righteousness_n they_o shall_v be_v satisfy_v and_o fill_v and_o true_o if_o i_o know_v any_o thing_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n this_o be_v it_o my_o soul_n wait_v for_o and_o bray_v after_o to_o be_v make_v more_o like_o he_o more_o conformable_a to_o he_o to_o have_v the_o spirit_n of_o a_o child_n put_v upon_o i_o whereby_o i_o may_v be_v more_o like_a unto_o he_o and_o more_o dedicate_v and_o give_v up_o in_o all_o my_o way_n to_o he_o but_o that_o if_o it_o be_v not_o thus_o with_o i_o but_o that_o i_o be_v deceive_v in_o it_o i_o do_v then_o beg_v above_o all_o thing_n in_o the_o world_n that_o the_o lord_n will_v discover_v it_o unto_o i_o the_o 25_o of_o this_o four_o month_n my_o spirit_n wasdraw_v out_o to_o beg_v the_o lord_n appearance_n the_o next_o day_n and_o suit_v my_o heart_n to_o it_o which_o i_o find_v in_o a_o very_a dead_a &_o dull_a frame_n beseech_v the_o lord_n that_o his_o appearance_n may_v not_o answer_v that_o wretched_a frame_n my_o heart_n be_v then_o in_o but_o that_o my_o heart_n may_v be_v put_v in_o frame_n to_o meet_v with_o he_o as_o also_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v be_v please_v to_o provide_v a_o portion_n for_o every_o poor_a soul_n that_o desire_v to_o see_v his_o face_n and_o to_o seek_v his_o presence_n that_o they_o may_v find_v some_o word_n suitable_a to_o their_o condition_n and_o how_o rich_o and_o abundant_o do_v the_o lord_n answer_v each_o of_o those_o desire_n both_o in_o behalf_n of_o my_o own_o soul_n and_o also_o on_o the_o behalf_n of_o other_o how_o glorious_o do_v the_o lord_n appear_v and_o ride_v triumphant_o in_o the_o chariot_n of_o his_o word_n this_o day_n in_o the_o morning_n present_v very_o glorious_a useful_a truth_n seasonable_a to_o my_o poor_a soul_n which_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o practice_v and_o make_v use_n of_o enable_v i_o to_o improve_v the_o promise_n to_o this_o great_a work_n of_o clean_v from_o corruption_n yea_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v in_o a_o further_a way_n to_o answer_v my_o desire_n for_o other_o put_v in_o a_o very_a seasonable_a word_n of_o he_o to_o my_o cousin_n jefferson_n concern_v freewill_n who_o be_v much_o in_o my_o thought_n in_o my_o former_a request_n show_v how_o the_o promise_n be_v make_v in_o respect_n of_o our_o own_o weakness_n and_o nothingness_n for_o have_v the_o creature_n any_o power_n god_n need_v not_o promise_v to_o do_v all_o the_o lord_n have_v thus_o appear_v this_o morning_n there_o arise_v in_o my_o heart_n a_o question_n at_o noon_n whether_o i_o shall_v not_o public_o by_o mr._n knight_n offer_v up_o praise_n to_o the_o lord_n for_o this_o appearance_n of_o he_o but_o through_o many_o fear_n that_o arise_v upon_o my_o spirit_n lest_o it_o may_v be_v misconstrue_v as_o if_o i_o do_v desire_v to_o appear_v to_o be_v somebody_o with_o the_o like_a temptation_n be_v keep_v off_o yet_o notwithstanding_o some_o trouble_n to_o my_o spirit_n for_o i_o be_v great_o desirous_a to_o have_v bless_v the_o lord_n public_o for_o it_o yet_o how_o do_v the_o lord_n appear_v in_o answer_n to_o this_o secret_a desire_n of_o i_o for_o mr._n knight_n himself_o upon_o his_o own_o account_n do_v large_o bless_v the_o lord_n for_o his_o appearance_n in_o the_o midst_n of_o the_o day_n and_o so_o throughout_o with_o which_o my_o heart_n do_v real_o close_a and_o so_o do_v our_o sister_n arnal_a as_o she_o say_v afterward_o as_o well_o as_o myself_o great_o rejoice_v that_o the_o lord_n draw_v out_o his_o heart_n in_o that_o wherein_o her_o heart_n and_o mind_n also_o do_v so_o abundant_o join_v our_o brethren_n have_v make_v some_o entrance_n into_o the_o private_a conference_n and_o somewhat_o of_o god_n appear_v from_o several_a of_o they_o my_o heart_n be_v much_o draw_v out_o to_o propound_v some_o question_n to_o they_o have_v two_o or_o three_o thing_n upon_o my_o spirit_n wherein_o i_o be_v much_o unsatisfied_a and_o have_v resolve_v upon_o the_o thing_n in_o general_n there_o arise_v a_o great_a dispute_n in_o my_o spirit_n which_o question_n to_o propound_v first_o for_o they_o all_o leave_v much_o weight_n upon_o my_o spirit_n and_o among_o other_o i_o have_v a_o very_a strong_a desire_n to_o propound_v this_o what_o mean_n may_v be_v best_o available_a for_o the_o subdue_a of_o pride_n and_o strong_a debate_n have_v i_o in_o my_o spirit_n before_o i_o can_v pass_v this_o over_o yet_o at_o the_o last_o my_o spirit_n be_v overcome_v to_o propound_v another_o which_o prove_v very_o suitable_a to_o many_o other_o spirit_n in_o which_o i_o see_v some_o hand_n of_o god_n yet_o do_v my_o heart_n earnest_o long_o after_o some_o resolution_n concern_v that_o of_o pride_n but_o how_o gloriou_o do_v the_o lord_n a_o while_n after_o the_o 26_o of_o this_o four_o month_n appear_v in_o answer_n to_o it_o show_v i_o that_o there_o be_v no_o way_n like_o to_o the_o take_n of_o the_o advantage_n of_o the_o ordinance_n which_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o do_v about_o the_o end_n of_o this_o four_o
to_o which_o i_o have_v a_o great_a desire_n to_o go_v which_o according_o i_o do_v though_o with_o some_o outward_a inconvenience_n and_o bodily_a danger_n desire_v of_o the_o lord_n that_o as_o he_o have_v begin_v in_o some_o good_a measure_n to_o shine_v in_o upon_o my_o heart_n this_o week_n so_o that_o he_o will_v please_v to_o make_v this_o bless_a opportunity_n let_v my_o soul_n have_v a_o sight_n of_o himself_o through_o that_o word_n that_o shall_v be_v hold_v out_o to_o i_o thus_o wait_v and_o depend_v upon_o the_o lord_n for_o his_o appearance_n through_o this_o instrument_n of_o he_o i_o go_v to_o london_n at_o which_o time_n mr._n simpson_n contrary_a to_o the_o expectation_n of_o most_o of_o his_o hearer_n and_o as_o i_o be_v tell_v to_o his_o own_o intention_n the_o week_n before_o have_v his_o eye_n and_o meditation_n turn_v and_o fix_v upon_o that_o grand_a promise_n in_o gen._n 3._o 15._o which_o i_o do_v not_o know_v but_o that_o i_o may_v look_v upon_o as_o a_o special_a providence_n in_o which_o the_o lord_n may_v aim_v even_o at_o the_o establishment_n of_o my_o poor_a and_o unsettle_a spirit_n which_o but_o the_o week_n before_o be_v exceed_o cast_v down_o the_o lord_n have_v as_o i_o conceive_v much_o disappoint_v my_o expectation_n even_o of_o his_o own_o appearance_n in_o the_o entrance_n upon_o which_o scripture_n and_o open_n of_o it_o he_o show_v we_o that_o these_o word_n in_o gen._n 3._o be_v speak_v and_o denounce_v as_o a_o severe_a threaten_n to_o the_o devil_n and_o not_o at_o all_o speak_v either_o to_o the_o man_n or_o to_o the_o woman_n yet_o do_v they_o contain_v in_o they_o a_o most_o bless_a promise_n yea_o all_o the_o promise_n which_o the_o lord_n leave_v both_o for_o adam_n and_o eve_n to_o lay_v hold_n upon_o from_o the_o consideration_n of_o which_o he_o take_v occasion_n to_o provoke_v we_o to_o lay_v hold_n upon_o all_o the_o hint_n of_o god_n and_o to_o let_v none_o of_o they_o slip_v in_o any_o dispensation_n of_o he_o to_o we_o yea_o to_o take_v notice_n of_o every_o word_n of_o promise_n or_o comfort_n that_o god_n hold_v out_o though_o in_o the_o midst_n of_o severe_a threaten_n as_o this_o here_o be_v in_o the_o further_a prosecution_n of_o which_o he_o put_v we_o upon_o such_o thought_n as_o these_o that_o that_o soul_n which_o be_v indeed_o make_v to_o hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o jesus_n christ_n will_v be_v ready_a to_o snatch_v &_o catch_v at_o the_o least_o crumb_n of_o mercy_n yea_o be_v the_o soul_n indeed_o find_v of_o christ_n it_o will_v be_v ready_a to_o believe_v upon_o very_o small_a ground_n there_o be_v also_o at_o this_o time_n that_o scripture_n cite_v by_o he_o which_o we_o find_v record_v in_o esai_n 50._o at_o the_o beginning_n where_o the_o lord_n as_o he_o show_v we_o seem_v to_o be_v very_o angry_a with_o that_o people_n who_o though_o they_o have_v play_v the_o harlot_n and_o therefore_o deserve_v just_o to_o be_v put_v away_o yet_o be_v the_o lord_n wrath_n with_o they_o because_o they_o say_v he_o have_v put_v they_o away_o when_o as_o yet_o he_o have_v not_o and_o therefore_o demand_v of_o they_o where_o their_o bill_n of_o divorce_n be_v which_o together_o with_o several_a other_o precious_a truth_n then_o hint_v to_o we_o take_v very_o much_o on_o my_o heart_n and_o great_o refresh_v it_o even_o upon_o after_o review_v also_o but_o to_o all_o this_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o add_v one_o bless_a opportunity_n more_o that_o week_n wherein_o he_o speak_v abundant_o and_o i_o hope_v effectual_o to_o my_o heart_n by_o that_o servant_n of_o his_o mr._n knight_n at_o that_o lecture_n at_o the_o chapel_n at_o fulham_n the_o very_a next_o morning_n be_v the_o four_o day_n of_o the_o week_n send_v his_o servant_n as_o it_o be_v on_o purpose_n to_o speak_v to_o i_o in_o particular_a and_o to_o open_v unfold_v and_o expound_v all_o those_o gracious_a visit_n of_o christ_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n when_o it_o sit_v even_o in_o the_o valley_n and_o shadow_n of_o death_n shut_v up_o as_o it_o be_v in_o darkness_n and_o in_o a_o estate_n of_o nature_n show_v i_o how_o the_o lord_n even_o then_o come_v in_o with_o light_n and_o life_n to_o i_o as_o also_o when_o i_o be_v under_o dark_a affliction_n and_o sad_a apprehension_n of_o the_o wrath_n of_o god_n from_o whence_o i_o conceive_v they_o to_o proceed_v in_o which_o estate_n also_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v sweet_o to_o visit_v my_o soul_n as_o also_o when_o i_o lie_v under_o darkness_n of_o unbeleese_n be_v full_a of_o doubt_n and_o fear_n and_o jealousy_n of_o god_n etc._n etc._n at_o this_o season_n and_o from_o this_o scripture_n luk._n 1._o 78_o 79_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o unfold_v my_o soul_n that_o which_o i_o never_o have_v such_o a_o sight_n of_o how_o he_o have_v indeed_o visit_v my_o soul_n in_o all_o these_o estate_n as_o also_o what_o the_o issue_n of_o these_o his_o visitation_n be_v how_o he_o come_v in_o with_o light_n and_o life_n in_o all_o these_o condition_n which_o the_o lord_n now_o be_v please_v to_o open_v my_o eye_n to_o see_v my_o soul_n be_v even_o swallow_v up_o in_o the_o apprehension_n of_o it_o not_o know_v how_o to_o bless_v and_o praise_v his_o name_n sufficient_o for_o these_o his_o appearance_n thus_o do_v the_o lord_n follow_v on_o with_o one_o mercy_n and_o discovery_n upon_o the_o neck_n of_o another_o which_o all_o depend_v upon_o and_o as_o it_o be_v open_v one_o another_o for_o this_o last_o day_n do_v the_o lord_n discover_v in_o particular_a to_o my_o soul_n what_o those_o hint_n and_o gracious_a visitation_n on_o my_o soul_n wherein_o all_o these_o condition_n which_o the_o day_n before_o he_o teach_v i_o i_o be_v to_o take_v such_o special_a notice_n of_o in_o the_o remain_a part_n part_n also_o of_o the_o week_n be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o go_v on_o to_o settle_v and_o far_o open_v these_o truth_n and_o give_v i_o to_o see_v his_o mighty_a hand_n and_o outstretch_a arm_n all_o along_o in_o it_o the_o next_o lord_n day_n be_v the_o nine_o of_o this_o eleven_o month_n 1652._o the_o lord_n be_v please_v also_o to_o come_v in_o through_o that_o ministry_n he_o have_v place_v we_o under_o at_o fulham_n with_o a_o seasonable_a word_n to_o back_o all_o this_o which_o be_v speak_v by_o our_o pastor_n mr._n knight_n from_o heb._n 2._o 2._o that_o the_o word_n of_o god_n they_o be_v steadfast_a word_n abide_v word_n word_n that_o shall_v certain_o abide_v and_o be_v accomplish_v in_o their_o season_n thus_o in_o these_o eight_o day_n now_o last_v past_a have_v the_o lord_n through_z and_o by_o his_o word_n and_o spirit_n be_v please_v to_o give_v into_o my_o soul_n a_o discovery_n of_o his_o gracious_a visitation_n of_o i_o for_o 〈◊〉_d many_o year_n past_a and_o true_o i_o think_v i_o shall_v much_o rob_v the_o lord_n of_o his_o glory_n if_o i_o shall_v not_o acknowledge_v he_o a_o god_n hear_v prayer_n who_o be_v please_v even_o at_o this_o time_n in_o my_o apprehension_n so_o eminent_o to_o appear_v that_o i_o be_v constrain_v in_o spirit_n to_o acknowledge_v it_o and_o do_v and_o do_v desire_v that_o he_o may_v have_v the_o glory_n of_o it_o the_o lord_n have_v of_o late_a thus_o begin_v to_o manifest_v his_o love_a kindness_n to_o my_o soul_n there_o be_v at_o this_o time_n from_o rom._n 13._o 11._o this_o truth_n set_v home_o mighty_o upon_o my_o heart_n that_o this_o time_n of_o god_n appearance_n in_o way_n of_o love_n and_o mercy_n etc._n etc._n be_v the_o only_a bless_a time_n in_o the_o world_n to_o that_o soul_n to_o who_o he_o thus_o appear_v and_o a_o time_n which_o shall_v of_o all_o time_n in_o the_o world_n be_v take_v special_a notice_n of_o and_o careful_o improve_v from_o whence_o i_o have_v further_o many_o seasonable_a instruction_n as_o that_o i_o shall_v walk_v in_o the_o sight_n of_o god_n countenance_n while_o i_o enjoy_v it_o yea_o and_o work_v in_o it_o while_o i_o have_v it_o before_o or_o lest_o darkness_n come_v joh._n 12._o 35_o 36._o &_o joh._n 9_o 4._o yea_o to_o do_v good_a in_o this_o time_n and_o opportunity_n while_o god_n thus_o shine_v upon_o the_o heart_n gal._n 6._o 10._o yea_o and_o to_o improve_v it_o to_o this_o end_n to_o lay_v up_o in_o store_n a_o good_a foundation_n for_o time_n to_o come_v even_o as_o man_n do_v in_o their_o trade_n in_o the_o matter_n of_o this_o world_n 1_o tim._n 6._o 17_o 18_o 19_o yea_o to_o redeem_v this_o time_n ephes_n 5._o 16._o to_o think_v nothing_o too_o much_o to_o buy_v it_o out_o of_o the_o hand_n of_o huckster_n out_o of_o the_o hand_n of_o all_o other_o business_n what_o ever_o in_o this_o world_n and_o
even_o for_o the_o full_a accomplishment_n of_o his_o own_o promise_n who_o have_v say_v sin_n shall_v not_o have_v dominion_n over_o he_o that_o be_v not_o under_o the_o law_n but_o under_o grace_n as_o also_o that_o he_o will_v tread_v down_o satan_n under_o his_o people_n foot_n short_o which_o my_o soul_n desire_v to_o wait_v upon_o he_o for_o and_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n desire_v to_o bless_v his_o name_n and_o that_o you_o will_v bless_v he_o together_o with_o i_o that_o he_o be_v please_v to_o open_v any_o fountain_n of_o love_n and_o mercy_n in_o this_o vale_n of_o tear_n so_o abundant_o fulfil_v to_o my_o poor_a soul_n that_o word_n of_o he_o which_o he_o be_v please_v no_o soon_o to_o set_v upon_o my_o heart_n with_o a_o persuasion_n in_o some_o measure_n that_o it_o shall_v be_v make_v good_a roll_v though_o weak_o upon_o he_o for_o it_o but_o that_o he_o be_v please_v so_o to_o do_v indeed_o that_o word_n i_o find_v isai_n 56._o 19_o when_o the_o enemy_n shall_v come_v in_o like_o a_o flood_n the_o spirit_n of_o the_o lord_n shall_v set_v up_o a_o standard_n against_o they_o for_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o bless_v his_o name_n beseech_v he_o that_o those_o impression_n that_o he_o be_v please_v by_o his_o spirit_n through_o several_a word_n of_o he_o to_o make_v upon_o my_o heart_n may_v never_o be_v forget_v by_o i_o but_o that_o they_o may_v continual_o be_v as_o support_v to_o my_o poor_a weak_a faith_n that_o it_o may_v grow_v from_o strength_n to_o strength_n even_o till_o i_o shall_v meet_v my_o god_n bless_v for_o ever_o be_v that_o god_n that_o be_v please_v to_o know_v my_o poor_a soul_n in_o this_o hour_n of_o temptation_n and_o to_o take_v this_o poor_a lame_a soul_n and_o lead_v and_o carry_v it_o of_o be_v not_o able_a to_o go_v one_o step_n in_o any_o of_o his_o way_n without_o his_o hand_n but_o that_o it_o get_v one_o knock_n or_o bruise_v or_o other_o yea_o bless_v for_o ever_o be_v that_o god_n and_o saviour_n that_o will_v not_o suffer_v his_o poor_a creature_n to_o slip_v as_o he_o do_v other_o but_o be_v please_v in_o rich_a mercy_n to_o be_v ever_o awaken_n my_o poor_a drowsy_a spirit_n by_o one_o affliction_n or_o another_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o do_v much_o refresh_v my_o spirit_n and_o seem_v at_o present_a a_o special_a token_n of_o his_o love_n for_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o bless_v he_o and_o oh_o that_o i_o can_v praise_v the_o name_n of_o that_o god_n and_o father_n who_o be_v the_o father_n of_o all_o mercy_n and_o god_n of_o all_o consolation_n for_o true_o i_o must_v needs_o say_v i_o be_o persuade_v satan_n have_v not_o now_o be_v let_v loose_a to_o buffet_v i_o thus_o have_v i_o not_o be_v so_o sleepy_a and_o drowsy_a in_o spirit_n but_o bless_v be_v that_o rod_n that_o awake_v my_o poor_a soul_n from_o the_o sleep_n of_o any_o sin_n so_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v but_o please_v to_o work_v it_o out_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o wait_v on_o god_n for_o i_o shall_v for_o some_o respect_n have_v forbear_v this_o duty_n of_o praise_n but_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v let_v in_o the_o clear_a sight_n of_o this_o mercy_n as_o also_o lest_o i_o shall_v prove_v ungrateful_a for_o so_o large_a manifestation_n of_o mercy_n though_o all_o i_o can_v do_v in_o it_o be_v a_o mere_a nothing_o the_o great_a be_v the_o goodness_n of_o god_n that_o bow_v down_o to_o accept_v such_o break_a praise_n which_o i_o have_v cause_n even_o to_o lament_v over_o have_v too_o little_a spiritual_a life_n in_o they_o when_o as_o in_o truth_n my_o whole_a soul_n and_o body_n shall_v be_v a_o holy_a and_o lively_a sacrifice_n to_o god_n which_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o to_o do_v to_o that_o god_n whence_o all_o my_o enjoyment_n come_v in_o who_o i_o desire_v to_o rest_v your_o unworthy_a but_o in_o desire_n and_o hope_v real_a friend_n for_o my_o lord_n sake_n finis_fw-la the_o second_o book_n of_o manifold_a experiment_n of_o god_n deal_v with_o my_o soul_n in_o hear_v prayer_n and_o other_o gracious_a income_n of_o love_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o help_v i_o very_o much_o in_o this_o search_n by_o mr._n knight_n who_o speak_v from_o this_o scripture_n at_o fulham_n the_o nine_o of_o this_o nine_o month_n in_o the_o 12_o of_o luke_n 42_o 43._o from_o which_o he_o show_v we_o have_v the_o lord_n set_v out_o the_o blessedness_n of_o that_o servant_n that_o be_v faithful_a in_o the_o work_n that_o his_o lord_n intru_v he_o about_o and_o who_o his_o lord_n when_o he_o come_v find_v to_o be_v so_o do_v as_o he_o appoint_v now_o o_o my_o soul_n what_o comfortable_a hope_n can_v thou_o gather_v out_o from_o the_o serious_a examination_n of_o thy_o own_o heart_n upon_o this_o point_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v thou_o faithful_a though_o thou_o be_v poor_a weak_a and_o unworthy_a every_o way_n to_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o such_o a_o lord_n what_o can_v thou_o say_v to_o this_o have_v the_o lord_n indeed_o make_v thou_o faithful_a ans_fw-fr 1._o i_o gather_v some_o hope_n of_o it_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v make_v i_o in_o some_o measure_n faithful_a from_o that_o sincerity_n that_o the_o lord_n have_v put_v into_o my_o heart_n to_o aim_v pure_o at_o his_o glory_n in_o all_o i_o do_v in_o this_o world_n the_o contrary_a to_o which_o cause_v much_o bitterness_n in_o my_o spirit_n yet_o through_o the_o prevalency_n of_o the_o unregenerate_a part_n in_o i_o i_o be_o many_o time_n bias_v and_o carry_v aside_o to_o aim_v at_o other_o thing_n in_o many_o of_o my_o way_n but_o the_o glory_n of_o my_o lord_n be_v my_o principal_a aim_n for_o if_o i_o know_v any_o thing_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n through_o mercy_n i_o do_v find_v it_o set_v to_o seek_v the_o honour_n of_o christ_n and_o to_o walk_v in_o way_n well_o please_v to_o he_o though_o i_o do_v too_o often_o sad_o wander_v from_o these_o intent_n and_o desire_n which_o be_v discover_v to_o be_v the_o real_a burden_n of_o my_o life_n 2._o in_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o put_v into_o my_o soul_n i_o hope_v a_o real_a desire_n te_fw-la do_v his_o whole_a will_n and_o therein_o to_o appear_v faithful_a daily_o desire_v and_o beg_v of_o he_o that_o i_o may_v not_o at_o any_o time_n in_o any_o command_n of_o his_o be_v find_v consult_v with_o flesh_n and_o blood_n but_o that_o as_o soon_o as_o ever_o he_o discover_v his_o will_n in_o any_o thing_n whatever_o to_o i_o that_o he_o will_v also_o enable_v i_o to_o obey_v it_o ready_o find_v the_o spirit_n of_o the_o lord_n i_o hope_v oftentimes_o breathe_v in_o my_o soul_n after_o this_o manner_n lord_n if_o thou_o will_v but_o discover_v thy_o mind_n &_o will_n to_o i_o in_o all_o my_o way_n that_o be_v it_o i_o beg_v of_o thou_o and_o though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o contrary_a to_o flesh_n and_o blood_n yea_o though_o i_o can_v see_v nothing_o but_o that_o it_o be_v lay_v out_o for_o to_o afflict_v i_o and_o to_o be_v a_o trial_n and_o exercise_v for_o i_o and_o so_o have_v nothing_o to_o induce_v i_o but_o thy_o will_n yet_o lord_n if_o thou_o will_v but_o discover_v thy_o mind_n in_o it_o to_o i_o what_o will_v i_o then_o beg_v of_o thou_o but_o only_o a_o ready_a frame_n to_o yield_v obedience_n to_o thy_o will_n and_o leave_v the_o success_n &_o sanctify_v of_o it_o to_o i_o to_o thyself_o and_o if_o on_o the_o other_o side_n i_o think_v any_o mercy_n to_o be_v never_o so_o good_a or_o for_o my_o advantage_n yet_o if_o thou_o see_v meet_v to_o discover_v to_o my_o soul_n that_o thy_o will_n be_v not_o in_o it_o will_v i_o not_o then_o if_o i_o know_v my_o own_o heart_n beg_v above_o all_o thing_n to_o have_v my_o will_n to_o be_v whole_o swallow_v up_o into_o thou_o lord_n and_o this_o hope_n be_v ground_v in_o some_o measure_n upon_o the_o abundant_a experience_n the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o of_o his_o goodness_n and_o mercy_n and_o abundant_a kindness_n in_o his_o often_o deny_v i_o of_o my_o will_n 3_o i_o hope_v the_o lord_n have_v in_o some_o measure_n make_v i_o a_o faithful_a servant_n in_o that_o he_o have_v set_v my_o soul_n upon_o the_o watch_n to_o know_v his_o mind_n and_o will_n endeavour_v and_o desire_v to_o keep_v my_o eye_n upon_o he_o and_o he_o only_o that_o i_o may_v see_v what_o his_o mind_n and_o will_n be_v who_o have_v say_v that_o he_o will_v guide_v he_o by_o his_o eye_n which_o cause_v my_o soul_n though_o with_o much_o weakness_n not_o only_o earnest_o to_o desire_v but_o also_o to_o endeavour_v to_o reflect_v upon_o all_o my_o motion_n and_o action_n and_o thought_n and_o word_n in_o this_o
that_o i_o may_v thereby_o be_v change_v more_o into_o his_o own_o image_n the_o 2._o day_n of_o the_o 2._o month_n be_v this_o morning_n in_o some_o measure_n make_v sensible_a of_o my_o own_o deadness_n and_o dulness_n to_o the_o thing_n of_o god_n and_o barrenness_n and_o unprofitableness_n under_o all_o the_o mean_n of_o grace_n i_o apprehend_v it_o very_o righteous_a with_o the_o lord_n to_o deal_v with_o i_o according_a to_o my_o desert_n and_o not_o to_o manifest_v any_o thing_n to_o my_o soul_n yet_o press_v he_o much_o though_o i_o deserve_v the_o contrary_a yet_o for_o his_o own_o name_n sake_n and_o for_o my_o lord_n jesus_n sake_n to_o be_v please_v to_o appear_v to_o my_o poor_a soul_n and_o let_v i_o have_v some_o sight_n of_o himself_o tell_v he_o that_o he_o have_v glorious_o appear_v former_o to_o my_o soul_n and_o he_o be_v the_o same_o still_o and_o o_o that_o he_o will_v now_o break_v through_o and_o give_v i_o a_o sweet_a kiss_n from_o himself_o and_o how_o glorious_o do_v the_o lord_n this_o day_n condesend_v and_o bow_v down_o to_o the_o desire_n of_o his_o poor_a unworthy_a worm_n through_o that_o servant_n of_o his_o mr._n bramble_n by_o who_o and_o through_o who_o many_o seasonable_a truth_n be_v hint_v to_o my_o spirit_n both_o in_o way_n of_o further_a revive_n of_o my_o deadness_n and_o dulness_n and_o in_o way_n of_o comfort_n and_o direction_n for_o which_o o_o that_o i_o can_v indeed_o bless_v and_o praise_v the_o name_n of_o this_o my_o glorious_a god_n the_o three_o day_n of_o the_o second_o month._n have_v extreme_a desire_n to_o go_v and_o hear_v mr._n cradock_n the_o next_o day_n i_o tell_v my_o mother_n over_o night_n persuade_v she_o to_o it_o she_o have_v very_o urgent_a occasion_n but_o at_o last_o prevail_v i_o find_v myself_o very_o much_o distemper_v next_o morning_n with_o a_o great_a cold_a which_o i_o have_v get_v notwithstanding_o which_o i_o get_v up_o but_o before_o i_o be_v quite_o dress_v i_o have_v such_o a_o stitch_n take_v i_o in_o my_o back_n in_o such_o a_o extreme_a manner_n that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o lean_v any_o way_n it_o be_v in_o such_o a_o extreme_a manner_n which_o hold_v i_o for_o the_o space_n of_o two_o hour_n continual_o almost_o until_o it_o be_v full_a time_n to_o go_v in_o all_o which_o time_n i_o reason_v still_o with_o myself_o what_o i_o shall_v do_v fear_v i_o shall_v not_o hold_v out_o that_o journey_n nor_o be_v able_a when_o i_o be_v there_o to_o sit_v to_o hear_v because_o of_o it_o yet_o at_o last_o have_v have_v such_o experience_n of_o god_n former_o i_o do_v desire_v now_o to_o rol_v upon_o he_o &_o betake_v i_o to_o some_o short_a desire_n to_o he_o beseech_v he_o if_o he_o see_v it_o good_a to_o give_v i_o so_o much_o inward_a and_o outward_a strength_n as_o might_n at_o this_o time_n enable_v i_o to_o honour_n and_o glorify_v he_o earnest_o beg_v his_o appearance_n to_o my_o soul_n quicken_a and_o raise_v it_o conform_v it_o more_o to_o himself_o with_o many_o other_o desire_v relate_v to_o my_o spiritual_a condition_n and_o how_o seasonable_o do_v the_o lord_n come_v in_o this_o day_n through_o mr._n cradock_n ministry_n both_o convey_n of_o counsel_n caution_n and_o comfort_n the_o comfort_n be_v from_o rom._n 8._o 32._o and_o for_o the_o stitch_n and_o pain_n in_o my_o back_n i_o bless_v the_o lord_n it_o go_v so_o away_o that_o i_o feel_v it_o not_o all_o that_o while_o i_o be_v abroad_o but_o do_v as_o it_o be_v quite_o forget_v that_o it_o trouble_v i_o that_o day_n so_o do_v the_o lord_n appear_v to_o my_o body_n also_o many_o bless_a sight_n the_o lord_n give_v i_o also_o this_o day_n through_o that_o servant_n of_o he_o mrs._n blackborn_n who_o i_o meet_v at_o james_n hear_v mr._n cradock_n who_o come_v home_o with_o we_o and_o relate_v much_o to_o i_o how_o it_o be_v with_o mr._n cradock_n how_o sad_a his_o temptation_n be_v which_o come_v most_o seasonable_o to_o my_o consideration_n to_o take_v i_o off_o from_o rash_a thought_n i_o be_v ready_a to_o take_v up_o but_o the_o day_n before_o concern_v other_o still_o many_o other_o seasonable_a thing_n she_o hint_v to_o i_o of_o the_o fear_n that_o often_o be_v upon_o her_o spirit_n touch_v self-end_n fear_v that_o she_o may_v desire_v beg_v for_o and_o seek_v after_o good_a thing_n and_o yet_o all_o but_o out_o of_o self-end_n complain_v of_o the_o strife_n she_o find_v oftentimes_o between_o her_o judgement_n and_o affection_n yet_o be_v draw_v out_o to_o bless_v god_n for_o deny_v of_o she_o that_o which_o at_o the_o very_a present_a her_o affection_n run_v out_o after_o all_o which_o jealousy_n and_o fear_n lie_v sad_o upon_o my_o own_o spirit_n hear_v she_o that_o be_v such_o a_o ancient_a christian_a complain_v also_o of_o the_o same_o be_v to_o i_o a_o little_a refreshment_n some_o scatter_a meditation_n the_o second_o month._n 1654._o consider_v the_o vanity_n of_o all_o creature_n compare_v with_o the_o lord_n what_o be_v there_o in_o the_o creature_n desirable_a the_o best_a of_o man_n which_o be_v the_o best_a of_o creature_n be_v nothing_o else_o then_o vanity_n they_o be_v but_o a_o shadow_n compare_v with_o the_o substance_n nay_o they_o be_v but_o dark_a shadow_n now_o what_o wise_a creature_n be_v take_v much_o with_o a_o shadow_n what_o be_v there_o in_o creature_n the_o best_a of_o creature_n man_n himself_n that_o be_v desirable_a as_o for_o beauty_n that_o be_v vanity_n of_o vanity_n the_o rare_a thing_n in_o this_o vanity_n shall_v no_o way_n take_v upon_o a_o gracious_a spirit_n that_o be_v raise_v up_o to_o high_a thing_n but_o to_o go_v to_o the_o utmost_a height_n the_o best_a thing_n and_o most_o desirable_a in_o the_o best_a of_o man_n be_v their_o resemblance_n of_o or_o likeness_n unto_o the_o lord_n yet_o in_o this_o they_o be_v but_o like_a unto_o picture_n yea_o dark_a one_o now_o who_o will_v be_v much_o take_v with_o the_o picture_n that_o may_v at_o the_o same_o time_n enjoy_v the_o thing_n that_o be_v picture_v yet_o some_o picture_n make_v by_o the_o hand_n of_o man_n may_v in_o appearance_n far_o excel_v in_o beauty_n and_o loveliness_n the_o thing_n picture_v and_o herein_o the_o best_a of_o creature_n be_v but_o dark_a dead_a low_a resemblance_n yea_o very_a poor_a one_o of_o the_o eternal_a god_n picture_n be_v often_o desire_v because_o of_o the_o fade_a uncertain_a enjoyment_n of_o the_o thing_n picture_v which_o often_o time_n fade_v before_o the_o picture_n but_o what_o creature_n come_v near_o to_o the_o representation_n of_o god_n the_o picture_n quick_o fade_v and_o die_v but_o the_o substance_n be_v eternal_a who_o then_o will_v desire_v or_o be_v overmuch_o take_v with_o such_o a_o picture_n that_o perhaps_o seem_v fair_a to_o day_n but_o fade_v to_o morrow_n which_o be_v the_o condition_n of_o all_o finite_a creature_n but_o that_o infinite_a god_n be_v a_o everlasting_a father_n the_o lord_n jesus_n a_o everliving_a interceder_n and_o the_o spirit_n of_o truth_n a_o abide_a comforter_n yea_o in_o every_o relation_n wherein_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o manifest_v himself_o he_o be_v that_o to_o he_o to_o all_o eternity_n yea_o as_o picture_n be_v poor_a dead_a useless_a thing_n in_o comparison_n of_o the_o person_n they_o resemble_v only_o a_o delight_v the_o eye_n such_o be_v the_o very_o best_a of_o creature_n compare_v with_o the_o lord_n can_v they_o speak_v if_o he_o be_v silent_a can_v they_o effect_v aught_o if_o he_o withdraw_v can_v they_o smile_v if_o he_o frown_v can_v they_o refresh_v if_o he_o rebuke_v can_v they_o heal_v if_o he_o wound_v can_v they_o raise_v up_o if_o he_o cast_v down_o there_o be_v neither_o any_o life_n or_o motion_n in_o they_o separate_v from_o he_o they_o have_v eye_n but_o see_v not_o ear_n but_o hear_v not_o hands_z but_o act_n not_o foot_n but_o walk_v not_o tongue_n but_o speak_v not_o to_o any_o spiritual_a advantage_n unless_o he_o that_o be_v the_o life_n of_o their_o life_n put_v life_n into_o all_o these_o and_o when_o he_o have_v do_v act_n in_o through_z by_o and_o with_o they_o the_o ten_o day_n of_o the_o second_o month._n the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o hint_n out_o to_o i_o by_o mr._n bramble_n the_o 9th_o of_o the_o second_o month_n 1654._o that_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v oftentimes_o in_o mercy_n to_o appoint_v some_o wearisome_a night_n and_o day_n to_o his_o people_n wherein_o they_o can_v not_o take_v any_o rest_n that_o so_o they_o may_v call_v their_o own_o heart_n to_o a_o account_n serious_o before_o the_o lord_n and_o the_o like_a which_o i_o ponder_v upon_o and_o think_v with_o myself_o how_o eminent_a the_o lord_n have_v appear_v to_o my_o