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truth_n great_a lord_n praise_v 2,087 5 9.1611 5 false
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A27397 Some prison meditations of an humble heart given forth from a child in Israel, whose soul very dearly loveth his Heavenly Fathers children : much desiring, (and travelling in spirit for) their prosperity in the truth, even as for his own soul ... / by a sufferer for the truth in the common goal of Edmondsbury, whose earthen vessel bears the name of William Bennit. Bennit, William, d. 1684. 1666 (1666) Wing B1893; ESTC R32569 25,285 28

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wait how long shall I seek how long shall I call and utter my voice weeping saylng oh come away come away unto me thou whom I mourn for whom I long after whom my soul loveth oh I have waited so long that I am weary and begin to be almost without hope of his coming any more unto me Well what shall I do and whether shall I go I will even lay me down in sorrow and make it my bed make grief my sheets and tears my pillow and sighing and mourning my sleep untill he come whom my soul loveth for verily I cannot I cannot be satisfied with another besides him Oh who amongst the sons and daughters of Men shall I make my moan unto unto whom shall I complain and ease my heart unto where shall I find one who is sensible of my condition that can simpathize with me and that can speak a word in season unto my poor soul oh is it thus with any as it is with me Yes yes I believe there is many hath been and many now are in thy condition Oh where may I find one of them that I might ease my heart unto him and spread my condition before him for oh verily my bowels is very open to those who be in my condition well have patience be quiet and be still and lend an ear unto me and I may speak a little how it is with me and it may be if the Lord will to thy comfort for oh truly my soul loveth thee oh my heart is moved with compassion towards thee oh my bowels my bowels is open unto thee and my soul greatly simpathize with thy soul and could even wish my soul for a time in thy souls stead oh though indeed I am but a Child yet truly I am in some measure sensible of thy condition and can read it by my own and oh how willingly would I help thee according to my ability oh truly methinks I would even be a help unto all who stand in need of help but especially unto thee thou poor soul what art thou poor so am I what art thou weak and feeble so am I oftentimes what art thou empty so am I oftentimes what art thou cold and barren so am I sometimes what art thou as one desolate and destitute so am I sometimes what doth thou eat thy bread weeping and mingle thy drink with thy tears it is so with me at sometimes when I want the enjoyment of him whom my soul loveth for truly it is with me sometimes as it is with thee for sometimes I have not the enjoyment of my beloved as I have at other times but sometimes he seems to be withdrawn and to hide his face from me oh then it is with me as it is with thee oh then sorrows take hold upon me and trouble surroundeth me about as a wall and mourning covers me as a garment and none seeth my tears but the Lord oh then my leanness my leanness my coldness and barrenness is my greatest burden which causeth me to go bowed down in spirit saying in my heart Oh whether is my beloved gone and what is the cause he hath withdrawn himself from me wherefore is it thus with me what is the matter what shall I do what will the Lord leave me what will my God forsake me what will the Lord now cast me off who hath done so much for me Oh what is the cause that it is thus with me wherefore is the windows of Heaven shut up and the shoures of refreshment from on high withheld from me oh once I could say the Lord is my shepherd and my soul doth not want he causeth me to feed and even to lie down in green Pastures and leadeth me by the still waters and spreadeth my table with dainties and anointeth my head with the oyle of gladness and causeth my cup to overflow with new Wine But oh alass for me now I am in a dry and thirsty land where no water is oh what hath the Lord cast me off for ever Oh my tears is my meat and drink whilest my enemy saith unto me where is thy God dost thou think he will ever appear again unto thee why dost thou thus hunger thirst cry and pant after him alass it is in vain for thee to wait for him once indeed thou had the enjoyment of him once thou went with the multitude with them to the house of God with the voice of joy and praise with a multitude that keep holy day but alass thou must not look for such a day again And thus the adversary of my soul endeavoureth to add sorrow to my sorrow and to encrease the weight of my burden that so I might sink and never rise But oh the Lord my God is near to help me even in that time when I can scarce perceive him and when I am as Peter was ready to sink then his invisible arme of mercy is ready to save me and a secret hope the Lord preserveth alive in me which is as an anchor unto my soul which keeps me from suffering shipwrack a hope that the Lord will appear again to me to my joy whereby some encouragement I feel stirring in me to wait upon the Lord patiently and to trust in him though I do not see him and to relie upon him and hope in his tender bowels when he seems to be far off me and to roul my self upon him and surely he will appear again to thy joy oh my soul who canst not be satisfied without his presence even the presence of the Lord thy God which thou desireth more then all things else whatsoever wherefore the Lord seeing it is so with thee that thou desireth his presence more then all other things surely surely he will not cast thee off for ever surely he will appear again to thy joy wherefore why art thou so much cast down oh my soul and why art thou thus disquieted within me oh hope hope thou in thy God for thou shalt yet praise him the Lord will yet again command his loving kindness in the day time and in the night season his song shall be with thee even praises to the God of thy life oh wait patiently upon the Lord and trust in the living God whose compassions fails not towards those who loveth him oh he will send out his light and his truth into thee again and it shall bring thee unto his holy hill and to his Tabernacle and then shalt thou go to the altar of God of God thy exceeding joy and upon thy harp shall thou praise the Lord thy God thy delight and joy oh it is good for thee both to hope and quietly to wait upon the Lord for the Lord is good to the man that waits upon him unto the soul which seeketh him and cannot be satisfied without him oh wait patiently upon him even as a servant waiteth upon his Master and as a maiden at the hand of her Mistress so do thou wait for the Lord
the Lord may prosper and bless them with all Spiritual blessings in Christ Jesus Oh the Lord God keep all his Children every where in this hour and power of darkness and preserve all his dear babes and tender lambs in this day of great trial and manifold temptation Oh the Lord keep all those who make mention of his name in sincerity and truth from bowing in the least degree unto the Beast and from drinking the least drop of the Whores cup although she should be permitted to drink their blood Oh the Lord God almighty keep his sheep and lambs who were once scattered abroad in the cloudy dark day whom he hath sought and found out and gathered out of the desart places and wast howling Wilderness whom he hath brought from off the barren mountains and dry heaths into the low low low fresh green Valley where the pure sweet refreshing consolating springs of life eternal encompasseth them about Oh the Lord keep them still and quiet minding their feeding and not at all heed the raging of the Sea nor regard the unmercyful waves thereof which often looks very high as if they would quite overflow the valley of the low places and drown all who flee not unto the mountains for refuge and safety but oh let not the sheep and lambs and little ones fear nor at all flee to the hills for refuge for behold the Lord the high and mighty one the holy one of Israel is their Shepherd and he even continually watcheth over them and greatly careth for them and he it is who hath given bounds to the raging Sea and he limits the proud waves thereof and shuteth up her floods as he pleaseth he can let forth the wind and suffer a storm and he can make a calm when he pleaseth he can cause the sea and the wind to obey him and therefore the Children of God need not to fear none besides the Lord who will suffer nothing to befall them but what shall work for good to all his chosen faithful ones wherefore it is good for all the Children of the Lord confidently to trust in the Lord and not at all fear though their enemies pursue hard after them and say in their hearts come come we will pursue them we will overtake them our lusts shall be satisfied upon them we will have the desire of our hearts concerning them we will draw our swords and our hands shall destroy them and we will try whether their Gods in whom they say they trust be able to deliver them from the stroke of our hands well let not Israel heed the boasting and threatnings of his enemies nor regard the purposes of his adversaries though they pursue hard after him and say we will bring them back again into Egypt or else we will totally destroy them yet let not Israel fear for the Lord his God is between him and his enemies and fights for him against his adversaries and he in his anger will look down upon them and trouble their host and take off their Chariot wheels and will blow in his wrath upon them and the sea of his righteous indignation shall cover them and they shall sink as lead in the bottom of his righteous Judgments and he will get himself a name through the distruction of Sions enemies and honour and magnifie himself through the deliverance of his chosen who will work wonders for the sake of his Redeemed in so much as the Dukes of Edom shall be amazed and even trembling shall take hold upon the mighty men of Moab and all Nations shall shiver and quake before the mighty God of Israel who is dreadful in holiness fearful in praises doing wonders Oh let Israel honour his God in believing in him and in trusting in his name in relying and depending upon his arme of everlasting strength and patiently without murmurings to wait upon the Lord for he that is to come will come and will not tarry whose work is before him and his reward is with him even joy for the mourners in Sion and beauty for ashes gladness for the heavy hearted in Jerusalem freedom for bondage freedom from weights burdens and grievous oppressions Oh let all the Children of the Lord wait without fainting upon the Lord for yet a little while and the voice will be heard saying rejoyce oh rejoyce and even sing for joy ye saints servants and prophets of the most high and triumph in the Lord Almighty over the beast and false prophet and over the Whore which hath corrupted the Earth who hath long set as a queen and said in her heart she should never see sorrow with whom the Nations of the Earth hath committed fornication and she hath made Nations Kindreds Tongues and People drunk with the wine of her fornication who hath long deceived the Nations with her golden cup which hath been filled with abominations and in her is found all the blood of the Martyrs and servants of Jesus which hath been shed upon the earth and she hath rid upon the beast that rose out of the Sea who received his seat great power and authority from the Dragon who persecuted the true woman that was cloathed with the sun and had a crown of twelve Stars upon her head who sought to devour her Man child and made war against the remnant of her seed who keep the commands of God and have the Testimony of Jesus these cannot worship the beast nor his name nor receive his mark but these worship God alone and are followers of the Lamb through many tribulations whose garments are made white in his blood by whom they are redeemed from amongst men these the Beast and false Prophet have sought to kill persecute and root out from off the face of the earth but wo wo wo to the beast false prophet and thè Whore for the day of their Judgment is come and misery calamity distress and destruction is coming upon them and she the mother of Harlots the mother of Witchcrafts the abominations of the earth shall utterly be destroyed and totally burnt with fire for strong is the Lord God Almighty who judgeth her and now sing oh Heavens and rejoyce ye who live therein over mystery Babylon the great for it is fallen it is fallen as a mighty milstone into the bottom of the Sea never more to arise again Amen Halleluiah The Lord will thunder from Heaven upon thy enemies oh Sion and will break thy adversaries to pieces and will give strength to thy King and exalt the horne of his Anointed and he shall reign and rule and prosper and execute justice and true judgment in the earth in his days Judah shall be saved and Israel shall dwell safely and sit under his own Vine and none shall make him afraid then shall it be said to Jerusalem fear not and to Sion let not thy hands be slack the Lord in the middest of thee is mighty he hath saved thee he hath set thee free from thy trouble he will rejoyce
Jerusalem and make her a praise in the whole Earth for ever more Oh my soul be watchful and wary that thou dost not in the least degree seek glory honor and praise to thy self and to be had in esteem by others but oh wait to feel self wholly baptized into death and made of no reputation and take heed that thy left hand know not what thy right hand doth and do nothing to be seen of men or whereby to be accounted of by others but in all thou doth appeal unto him who seeth in secret and he it is who will reward thee openly seek thou to be only known and manifested to the pure un-erring witness of God in all consciences and to stand justified and approved by it and that is enough no honor no glory no praise but to God alone oh strive not for Lordship and Mastership over others but rather strive to be most meekest lowest humblest tender and contrite in mind and spirit condescending even to the lowest and serving the meanest in love seeking peace and unity among bretheren with all self-denyal bearing forbearing and forgiving for the Seeds sake bearing with the infirmities of the weak and with the haltings of the feeble watching for the good in all without respect of persons but not to watch for evil in any for that is abominable in the eyes of the Lord and seek thou the glory of God alone the honor of his name the exaltation and spreading forth of his truth the freedome growth and reign of the Seed of God in the hearts of all the prosperity of his tender Lambs Babes and Children that they may all stand in this day of tryal and be preserved in this hour of darkness and temptation and even to seek the good of all yea the good of thy greatest Enemies and have nothing but love and good will towards thy greatest Persecuters seeking the salvation of all people but not the destruction of any And oh my soul be circumspect and vigilent to walk so as becometh the Gospel and thee to be an adorning to the truth of God and to be as an holy example and righteous pattern unto all people where ever I come that I may be unto the Lord as a sweet smell and delectable savour that the blessing of the Lord my God may be poured down upon me yet more and more that I might become fruitful unto the Lord my God and be an instrument in his hand amongst the Sons and Daughters of Men to the praise glory honor and renown of the Lord Almighty for ever more oh my soul watch and fear before the Lord and take heed thou do not that thing to please others which thou knowest is not approved by the Lord keep thy eye unto the Lord and look not out at others to walk by imitation and if thou seeth him or her one or another what ever they be accounted of do those things which the Lord allowes thee not to do do not thee do them because an other doth them but watch and keep close unto the Lord and take counsel of him Oh my soul do not judg or justifie those things which thou hath not a true discerning in because an other judges or justifies them but rather be passive in that matter and stand still and wait upon the Lord for a perfect understanding in all things Oh my soul seek not liberty to the flesh beware of that counted freedome which is indeed bondage which hath stollen upon many in their latter days oh my soul indeavour to put off those things which in their place are said to be lawful which are a means to hinder thy growth into the Eternal and oh walk wisely before all Men giving no offence to the Jew nor Gentile nor to the Church in God knowing that there is that which is lawful but not expedient there is that which is lawful but it edifies not wherefore forbear what may be forborn and yet be not brought under the power of any thing below the life but seek after those things which make for edification love peace and unity for God is the Author of peace and not the Author of confusion strife contention and debate Oh my soul thou doth greatly desire that I might not appear in the sight of any of the Lords Lambs and little ones to be more then what I really am in and through the grace of God by which I am what I am and his grace which he hath freely bestowed upon me hath not been in vain praises to his name for ever Oh I would not be accounted of by any little one to be more then what I am in the Lord but rather let me be hid least honour should be ascribed unto that unto which it doth not belong for indeed all honour belongs to God alone alass all flesh is as grass and what is Man he is but a Vessel wherein God may appear or disappear as he pleaseth and indeed the Lord is jealous of his glory and he will not give it unto another wherefore my soul seek the glory honour and praise to God alone unto whom only it is due for ever and ever more Oh my soul thou doth not want the love the dear unfained love of the Lords dear babes tender lambs and children and oh thou desireth thou may not want their prayers for thee oh my soul that I may be preserved in this day of trial and be enabled by the Lord to finish my Testimony for him to his praise and my comfort joy and peace for ever more Oh my soul fear thou before the living God and very diligently take heed least thou who stand'st should fall as several hath done to their own woe and to the dishonour of God and to the causing his unchangable Truth to be evil spoken of and many seekers after Righteousness to stumble and the hands of Sions enemies thereby strengthened against the faithful of the Lord w●ose hearts are made sad whom the Lord hath not made sad even in the sense of the sad condition of those who once in some measure were acquainted with the Lord once tasted of his goodness and graciousness of his sweet unspeakable love and peace and even in some measure tasted and handled of the word of life and of the Powers of the World to come who were delivered out of spiritual Egypt by an out-stretched Arm and Mighty Power and by the same power carried through the Spiritual sea and wilderness and did in measure eat of the spiritual meat and drink of the Spiritual Rock which was made unto them as a pillar of fire by night and a pillar of a cloud by day c. and yet behold they are drawn back again by the enemy of their soul through their yielding unto his temptations and receiving his proffers and are turned as the Dog to his vomit and as the sow that was washed to her wallowing again in the mire and hath even made shipwrack of faith and a good