Selected quad for the lemma: truth_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
truth_n	drink_v	health_n	preposterous_a	15	3	16.6843	5	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A43690	Coffee-house jests. Refined and enlarged. By the author of the Oxford jests. The fourth edition, with large additions. This may be re-printed, Feb. 25. 1685. R.P.	Hickes, William, fl. 1671.	1686 (1686)	Wing H1885; ESTC R216840	88,901	208

she lifted up her left leg and let another as good then lifting up her two legs one after another she let a lusty one Well says he there 's three but where 's the half one Why says she take which half you will of the last for that was a rowsing one 227. A Lord in this Kingdom that it seems by mistake had sealed to something that day for which he was very much troubled at last after some vexation and grief for it he call'd up his man into the Chamber to him saying Tom was not I a Fool to do as I did to day Yes truly were you my Lord says he you were an arrant fool for it Sirrah says he though I call my self Fool I don't allow you to do it too and so kickt him out of doors 228. An ancient Justice of Peace was chid by a Neighbour Justice for marrying a young Girl Peace Brother says he hold thy tongue she 'll be a Woman to morrow for says he Wives are young mens Mistresses middle aged mens Companions and old mens Nurses and will you blame a man to have a Nurse in his old age No says he I don't blame you to have a Nurse but I do blame you that you are not provided for Heaven but that your Wife must do it Why says he don't you know whither all Cuckolds go O says he now you put me in mind on 't 't is true I have heard your Wife say many years ago that she was confident her husband would go to heaven and now I find which way and mum for that my dear Brother too 229. One was saying That those men which do affect gravity did seldom speak when any was a telling them a story but only wag the head but another told him he was confident they do as we do our Bottles that is shake 'em to try if they have any wit in their heads to give answer to their speech but a third said he thought that all those who wagg'd their heads did it only but in waggery 230. Two Gentlemen it seems one night quarrelled at gaming and over-night one sent the other a challenge to meet him by Six a clock to morrow morning at such a place upon his honour Hang honour says he for we both are but worshipful and withall tell him 't is not my custom and I also know 't is not his to rise before Eleven or Twelve a Clock and bid him consider with himself whether we should break our rest to break our limbs The other sent him word that if he did not meet him he 'd Post him Well says he tell him if he does I 'll ride Post out of Town and there stay till his fury is over So we see that some are in post-haste to fight and some in post-haste to ride away 231. One askt another of his Companions at a Coffee-house What was the meaning of this Proverb viz. The City for wealth and the Country for health He told him it was preposterous for you know there 's more Healths drank in the City than in all the Country agen Why says he that makes for the Proverb for if they drink away their healths they can never be well but the truth is that the wealth of the Country being brought into the City is the occasion of so much drinking of Healths 232. Also there 's another Proverb which speaks very p●t viz. Sleep without supping and health will follow yet I must ingeniously confess that I never saw a man sup in his sleep Yes says t'other 't is many suppings many times that makes him sleep and commonly after supping a great many healths do follow 233. One was saying That the body is more drest than the soul But I deny that says his Friend for the Body and Soul of a Goose are both drest alike and together and the Body of a Sole-fish is not drest by piece-meals but altogether Truly says t'other I think you are solely in the right Nay t is true I would not so-lie as you do every day for a great deal 234. A good and vertuous Woman was told by a Lawyers Clerk that lived in that Country-Town where she dwelt That when he was at London last there was a Law made that all labouring men that were Cuckolds were to have four pounds a year allow'd them out of the Shire where they liv'd Well says she this is comfortable news I am sure my poor husband take as much pains as any man and four pounds a year will do us a courtesie these hard times Then she askt him how many times doing would make a man a Cuckold He told her by this new Law three times would Nay then says she I am well enough for I am sure my poor Husband will receive his pension Here follows some Probable Improbable Stories 235. A great Spanish Commander that had been in service against the Turks when he came home he told such a loud lie before the Council of Spain that all lookt upon it as ridiculous but impudent in him to tell it there then the Council put him out and call'd in one of the Captains who did not only second what his Commander had said but told a louder lie for which he was rebuk't by one of the Council for telling such a notorious untruth O my Lord says he you must pardon me I do but my duty in following my Commander Then they told him he had out-done his Commander The more is my honour and glory then says he and I hope the King will pay me well for it 236. In a Discourse at Table wherein they chiefly treated of strange things and one among them said that he had a piece of the Hawthorn-Tree in a Box which always bloom'd on Christmass day for many years together and at last was robb'd of it by some of the Parliament Forces and could never get it agen Why says one how could it live and bloom as you say without some earth or the Suns influence Why says he d' ye think if it have that vertue to bloom on Christmass-day that it had not the vertue also to bloom without the help of the Sun or earth and so let out some Oaths to confirm it 237. But another being by to fit him in his Story and to make it appear to be truth as you know it was began to confirm what t'other had said with some Oaths too For says he I my self have seen that Hawthorn-Tree bloom a Hundred Christmas-day and if I should say a Hundred more I should not lie and I went once thither when they were come to the Berries which were red hard and laoge and so took some of them and button'd me a Suit and Coat with it as the fashion is now for you know our fashion in England for Cloaths never alters and when I and some others were at Church together upon Christmass-day in the morning little thinking of it about Ten of the Clock precisely he swore that the branches sprung out

so fast and so thick that he was covered all over with them insomuch that he lookt as if he had been in a Wood and so heavy they were upon him that he could not stir till one went out of the Church and fetcht an Axe and cut away all the Boughs that he might see his way out and when they had done he went home in this posture to his lodging and swore also that there was as much Wood cut off as serv'd him all that Winter for fewel to his Chamber But how ever says he I had rather be at the charge of Wood then to be served so agen But Gentlemen I tell you this to confirm what that worthy Gentleman told you before whereas you were in doubt for a great while whether it was truth or no but I hope there 's no doubt now and so swore it agen 238. Then another told a Story that a Miller had a Horse for many years together whose name was Roan and being tired with working all day poor Jade slept soundly at night which a thievish Fellow espying flay'd off his Skin whilest he slept and went away with it But Old Roan when he awak't though 't was a bitter cold night yet poor thing he came home to the Mill-door and neighed very loud which the honest Miller hearing awak't his Wife and askt her whether that was not the neighing of our Old Roan Truly Husband says she it is let 's rise and see what 's the matter with him and when they came out they wondred to see him in such a pickle Well Husband says she since 't is as 't is I 'd have you kill Five or Six of your Sheep and to morrow being Market day we can sell their Flesh there and take all the Skins and clap 'em hot upon poor Roan which he presently did with his dear Wives help and clapt them hot upon the Horses flay'd Back which with the cold night were presently froz'd on and the Horse as well or rather better in health than ever he was in his life and I am sure you 'll say warmer And this Horse says he they kept for many years after and every year it brought him Thirty Tod of Wool And I hope you will believe it but if you don't believe it I pray take notice that I am not bound to find you stories and belief too Then they all concluded it was true lie so 239. Another swore most plentifully That he saw a Lobster kill a Hare upon Salisbury Plain then they all began to think indeed that was a lie till he very discreetly told them how it was for the Lobsters that are taken at Weymouth Southampton and upon the Sea-coasts thereabouts are presently convey'd in Panniers into the Midland Country and by the way on Salisbury Plain did drop a very good Lobster and a Hare a little after came close to the lobster which the Lobster feeling with his Claw presently catcht him fast by the foot and so kill'd him and swore also that they put it into a Pie and both bak't together but I don't mean with the skin and the shell on then you'd think 't a lie indeed and so sent up to London and eaten there 240. Another swore pretty largely too That he knew a Hare that after he was taken and garbaged did give the Dogs a Chase for five or six miles together then they ●ay'd out all 't was a loud lie No says he it can't be a loud lie for it seems you don't allow it Yes says they we do allow it for a lie But says he I do avow it for truth and thus it was for the Hare being tied to a Hunts-mans Saddle in a string it happened that the string slipt and the Hare in the string hung down between the Horse Legs upon the Ground and the Horse being metttlesome gallopt away with the Hare at his heels and the Dogs marcht after but the truth was the Man could not hold the Horse in Nay then say they this may be impossibly probable 241. Another very sober Man told a story That once he went a coursing alone with a Grey-hound Bitch that was great with Whelp and having started a Hare it hapned the Hare went through a Muse in a Hedg where a Carpenter had hid his Axe lying it seems with the edge upwards and so the Hare being with young in going through that Muse cut her belly with the edge of the Axe and then out started 8 young Hares and began to run immediately as you know some Hares will before they are kindled but the Grey-hound Bitch suddenly following the Hare through the very same Muse by chance cut her Belly also and out came Eight Whelps Which eight Whelps ran after the eight young Hares and the Bitch after the Old Hare and kill'd 'em at all Now says he to them Some nice people may take this for a lie but I think 't is as probable as any of the rest because the wonder is greater that there should be but just the number of Eight Whelps and Eight young Hares and if true Probatum est 242. Another Story was That he being in a Low-room with some other Gentlemen a dringing a Bottle of Ale he saw the Man of the House open a Bottle and the Cork flew up with such a Violence that it strook his Hat off his Head and after that went through the Cieling of that Room and another Room above that which was two pair of Stairs high and kill'd a Men and his Wife as they lay in Bed and from thence flew up into the Garret and they could not get it out with a Hammer and Mallet 234. Sir says another to make good your Story which I saw with my own Eyes that being with some others in an upper Room one was then opening a Bottle of Ale and the Cork then flew up with such a violence thorow the Top of the House that it broke the Cieling and Tiles also and kill'd a Kite as he was flying just then over the House and the hole was so big which the Cork had made that down fell the Kite thorow the hole and they opening the Kite to see where she was wounded found two great Chickens in her Belly which they sold to pay for their Drink and after that would never drink in any other Room in that House but I don't know that it ever hapned so agen for these things though there be truth in 'em don't happen every day so 244. Another began to tell them his Story which he swore was of a certain as you know all these things are For says he I was riding to Saint Albans and riding through a Lane that was of stiff clay as I was galloping my Horses foot sticking in pluckt off shoe and hooff too and so I gallopt on for three or four Miles and my horse never complained that I never saw a horse that gallopt so well on three legs in my life at length he began to