knowledge to know thee the true God and Jesus Christ whom thou hast sent which thou hast I praise thee in some measure caused me to know to my Everlasting comfort thus even thus I am sure O God is thy good will and pleasure that I Communicate and forget not what thou hast in so much love Communicated unto me impart unto them all that thou hast imparted unto me And I praise thy goodness O God for that thou hast given me a heart in some measure heartily to desire it and longingly and lovingly to embrace with much comfort joy and content all occasions whatsoever to do it unto all without any respect of Persons to the poorest and meanest Creature according to the flesh as well as unto the highest in degree and honour among men and that their Conditions blessed be thy Name makes no condition with me for I account my self in very truth Servant and Debtor unto all both bond and free young and old and would with all my heart and soul do for any of them what thou requirest and commandest yea methiâ—ks I would give them what I have and be without it that they might have it I would be hungry and thirsty and poor and naked to feed refresh cloath and make rich their souls I would most sincerely and willingly that they had all of them a double Portion of the gifts and graces of thy holy Spirit which thou hast given me to the end it might be well with them and they might doubly praise thee Ah Lord Stamp on their hearts the seal of thy Divine love hide them under thy most sacred and glorious pavilion that they may be kept safe from the evil day and from the evil one who continually seeketh to devour them swallow them up O Lord into thy self that they may be ever secure dart O God a beam of thy Divine love that by its reflection they may have love to love thee again as thou lovest them not as to measure or degree that I know well is in none either on earth or in Heaven nor cannot be the most blessed Saints Angels Archangels Cherubins and Seraphims were the love of all those lovely blessed and glorious Creatures emptied into one alone then even I know his would come short of thine of thy love O God to that Creature whom thou lovest in the least degree to Salvation for thy love is the love of a God who is love that would be but the love of a Creature thine would be from thy self alone that would be from thee and given by thee so that the love which in sincere love I thus in Jesus Christ beg of thee for them is that they may have true love for thee and thine continually that it may continue with them and in them unto the end till that thou shalt so fill them with that first choice and chief grace that they all may be as thou art in a degree all love Ah Lord God confound I pray thee the wisdom of the wise I mean thou knowest the worldly wise bring down their pride and stain their glory such as will go about to condemn what they cannot mend and to marr what they cannot make turn O God their wisdom as thou did'st Achitophel's into foolishness but preserve them unto the end from such a like end and open the eyes of their understanding that they may see and acknowledge the errors of their ways and come speedily out of them and before ever converted unto thee that their souls may ever live with thee Ah Lord God what a most pitiful thing is it and of all things to be lamented with and in tears of blood that any poor soul should either live or dye in sin that a soul which is of much more value than ten thousand worlds should be for ever lost and undone for such a base vile filthy thing as is sin the very excrements of naughtiness and by which O God thou that art worthy of all honour art so much dishonoured and the Devil so much honoured Ah how is it to be pittied and dolefully lamented that so many poor souls should believe lyes and the Father of lyes the Devil before thy word and thy self who art the God of all truth and love how great Ah how great was thy love O God to save poor lost sinners in sparing and giving thy own only dear and beloved Son to the most shameful and most painful death of the Cross to redeem them from sin death Hell and the Devil and hast thou not promised with him to give them all things And Ah how great was thy love O most sweet Jesus who did'st so willingly submit to thy Fathers will and for the glory which was set before thee for us sinners did'st cheerfully endure the Cross and despise the shame and so sits down at the right hand of thy Father to prepare there a place for us and by thy continual intercession to prepare us for that place and this thy sitting down in glory at his right hand shews plain that thou hast done all that is to be done that can be required all as thou said'st when thou gavest up the Ghost is surely finished our Redemption fully wrought and compleated thy Fathers wrath appeased and he well pleased Ah Christ with and in all humility of heart I speak it thou had'st this spirit in thee thou did'st even as it were thus complain ye will not come to me that ye may have life and did'st weep for and over Jerusalem because her day of salvation was past and thy holy spirit in the mouth of thy Prophet complaineth and as it were lamenteth their sad condition saying Ah why will you dye O House of Israel And further how often doth this thy gracious and blessed spirit O God leave as it were thy bosome and comes and sues and wooes us that he may sanctifie and make us chosen and fit Vessels for thy use Ah Lord thou knowest how often such like considerations have sadened my soul that thou who art the God of truth should'st be thought by so many as it were a lyer for thy Word is not believed by them but made as a thing of nought trampled under foot and cast behind the back and Drunkards Whoremongers and such vile persons words be received entertain'd taken up welcom'd and preferr'd before thee O God before thee and thy Word and all thy most gracious offers of grace Now if such by thy good and gracious Providene come to read these words or of that which thou hast made me to write I humbly pray thee in Jesus Christ thy Son to pity him and pardon him Ah fetch home O God all wandering Prodigals that are in far Countries that is far from thee seeding on Hogs and Harlots which is on their own fleshly Carnal Lusts and vile affections Ah Father I know thee to be full of love and compassion Ah be thou pleased to do for all such as thou hast done for me for such was
brethren even with this true sincere and free love that they may for ever and ever enjoy that true and free Love of God which shall make them for ever free from all miseries and pains and of all pleasures and joys enjoying him who enjoyeth all things in himself from himself with whom is all joy unspeakable joy fulness of joy and at whose right hand are pleasures for evermore 199. Thus blessed and for ever blessed are all those that have this blessed Spirit of God for their Portion on Earth which shall lead them as the Sons of God unto God their Father and their Portion in Heaven who is the Portion the Father and the everlasting Rest of all the blessed 200. Ah blessed condition to be thus blessed by the Spirit of God yea by the God of all Spirits having hearts so full of true love and charity as to long labour and desire to have all others thus blessed with themselves and as themselves that are so full of the Love of God as to love all others as they love themselves and would have all beloved by him Ah holy Father increase this thy love in the hearts of all thy Children and Servants here on earth that we may together go hand in hand witnessing that the love wherewith we love one another is from thy Love and that we live in thee and thou in us who art all Love even the God of Love and that it is from thy Love and the living of thy holy and blessed Spirit in us that we thus love or love thus 201. Ah Lord God for thine own great glorious and holy names sake take not this thy Holy Spirit the Comforter from me but let it ever abide and dwell in me that I may always go forth before thee rejoycing as the Bride rejoyceth in her Bridegroom for thou O Lord knowest my many weaknesses and imperfections and that I cannot do any thing well pleasing unto thee without the assistance of this thy Holy Spirit for that my heart is all evil only evil and continually evil leave me therefore O Lord this thine holy and blessed Spirit the Sanctifier and the Comforter that I may be ever led in the ways of all truth and holyness which may conduct me unto thy dwelling place which is all peace rest holiness blessedness and eternal life and happyness 202. Here followeth a short Admonition Exhortation or advice unto all careless sinners that prize not this life or living of Gods holy Spirit in them that they would no longer quench its motions but come out of their sins and taste and see how gracious the Lord is 203. Ah poor most poor and most miserable man for thou thou only art truly miserably poor that art Christless though thou aboundest in Corn Wine and Oyl though thou farest delicately every day and art arraied with Purple Scarlet and fine linnen though thou feedest on the delicacies of Egypt and enjoyest all this Worlds good the honours riches and pleasures thereof though thou lyest on the beds of Ivory and hast thy Palaces bedeckt with the Gold of Ophir and the precious Pearls and Diamonds of the Orient though Princes should be thy Servants and Kings Daughters thy Maidens yet remember for all this thou shalt dye and come to Judgment thine honour and thy riches shall not save thee but in the day of thy distress they shall take themselves wings and fly away from thee miserable comforters are all such comforts Ah put not put not thy trust then on such things as in a moment ere thou art aware shall be taken from thee or thou from them 204. Awake awake from the dead thou careless man why sleepest thou arise and Christ shall give thee light and life why Ah why wilt thou be so obstinate as thus wittingly knowingly and wilfully to neglect so great Salvation and be thus idle all the day long dost thou not know that the night is coming wherein no man shall work and the day when thou shalt say thou hast no pleasure in them Remember Ah remember thou that sleepest in security that drinkest in iniquity as water and vanity as with cart-ropes that sayest to thy Soul eat drink and take thy fill of pleasures and to morrow shall be as this day Ah thou fool when wilt thou be wise may not thy Soul this night be taken from thee whose then shall those things be and what Ah what shall become of all those thy vain pleasures and delights thou canst not carry any of them with thee but as thou camest into the World naked so thou shalt naked return from earth thou cam'st and to earth thou shalt again return thine honour shall not go down into the Pit with thee nor thy mony neither 205. Deceive not then Ah deceive not then thy self any longer with those vain things which are not that is they are not what they seem to be what they promise to be nor what we take them to be Serve no longer Ah be thou perswaded to serve no longer Devils lusts Worlds lusts or self lusts but serve Ah serve the Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity and truth with full purpose of heart and endeavours of life that he may be still and still unto thee thy God and thy guide thy Sun and thy Shield thy peace and thy portion in the land of the living Neglect Ah neglect no longer nor put off no longer so sweet so certain and so great Salvation as those that are with God enjoy 206. Cast not Ah cast not his holy and divine Commandments behind thy back any more and trample not his precepts under thy feet and turn not his grace of love and mercy into wantonness Quench not Ah quench not the motions of his holy spirit by which thou art sealed unto the day of redemption but open quickly yea set quickly wide open the door of thy heart and let him in lest he depart from thee and swear in his wrath that thou shalt never enter into his rest and say unto thee as he did unto Jerusalem seeing that thou wouldst not be gathered unto me all my mercies shall be for ever hid from thine eyes and seeing that he would not that I should reign over him come slay him before me Ah who then who then shall be able to deliver thee from the wrath of the Lamb who is the Lyon of the Tribe of Judah he will tear he will tear thee in pieces in his anger and break thee even as a Potters Vessel is broken for none shall be able to deliver thee out of his hands nay all shall be against thee good and bad Angels Saints and sinners vea thine own self shall have indignation against thy self thine own eyes shall look evilly on thee thine own hands shall tear thee in pieces thine own thine own feet shall carry thee to the place of execution thine own thine own Conscience shall accuse and condemn thee and justifie Gods Righteous dealing towards thee thus thus shalt thou be there
that he always labours to destroy himself and to all others that he rejoyceth to kill those for whom Christ died to give life even eternal life 11. Ah Lord thou knowest that my Love through thy Love is such unto the brethren that I even many times wish and desire I could empty my self that is what of God is in me into them that they might be so filled with him as to know him love him fear him choose him prize him and ioy and rejoyce in him and seek him and his presence with eagerness hungring and thirsting pantings gapings and groanings and never let him be at rest until he hath assured them that he is theirs and they are his 12. Gods blessed gratious and most glorious presence or Communion with him is our Vintage our Harvest our nuptial feast our Canaan flowing with milk and honey our Garden of Spices where we sit under the shadow of his wings and his fruit is pleasant to our tast he is all our good things and our good things always and only all our springs are in him and from him 13. Ah what true joy and what great joy hath that Soul that enjoys God truly knowingly and feelingly that saith I know that he is mine and I am his 14. He must needs be always full of Joy that is filled with the Joy of the Holy Ghost 15. Such Ah such receive Christ willingly and cheerfully at all times as Zacheus did and for his sake are content to part with all to the poor and to become poor vile and contemptible c. and with blessed Simeon they imbrace him with their whole heart as their Salvation and with Jacob say knowingly that they have all and that they care for nothing else at all for indeed they have all they would have that they even can desire and crave for he is their well being their entire satisfaction and full and whole contentment their joy being full when they thus enjoy him 16. Ah Souls labour to live to Christ for if ye live for him and to him then Ah then ye live in him and then ye live indeed your lives are hid with Christ in God and when he shall appear at his second and sudden coming in Glory ye shall also appear with him 17. No man is so willing or can be to receive Christ as he is to give himself witness his life and his death and his now living continually making intercession for us See John 15 16 and 17. Chapters none is or can be so hungry but he is able and many times doth suddenly resatiate him none is or can be so empty or hunger-starved but he is able will and many times suddenly doth fill with unspeakable joy and rejoycing 18. Give O Lord give so thy self to me as I may be ever emptyed of my self and filled only with thee with thy blessed most blessed self that I may O Lord be blessed in life in death and after death and all I beg in and through Jesus Christ my blessed only Saviour and Redeemer 19. God gives not only space to repent 〈◊〉 grace to repent 20. Repentance is from God not from man man of himself can do nothing that is good no not of himself as of himself think a good thought all our sufficiency is from Gods all-sufficiency 21. Sin betrays us deceives See here the ugliness baseness and vileness of sin us beguiles us undoes us wounds us stabbs us poysons us kills us hells us damns us devils us of God-like it makes us Devil-like like the very Devil yea to be as it were a Devil to love sin as he loves it to favour it to plead for it to lye in its behalf to swear falsly that its falsity is truth that its ugliness is beautifulness that its deformity is fairness that its blackness is whiteness that its bitter is sweet that its hatred is love that its wiles and deceits are truth and uprightness that its poverty is riches that its contempt is honourable that its ignominy is glorious and that its Hell is Heaven the best Heaven yea the only Heaven that there is no other Heaven desirable to be desired loved chosen embraced or sought for Sin Metamorphoseth the heart and makes it like the Devils heart unclean unholy filthy abominable detestable tempting others to sin and delighting and rejoycing when through their temptation they are overcome and made like them to like love cherish and take pleasure in sin and go willingly along with them to commit all manner of sin uncleanness and filthiness with hungring thirsting and greediness sin shews it self to be what it is not contrary to what it is as light is to darkness for it says it is good yea and the best good the chiefest good the only good the superior and the soveraign good that there is none like it none so good when indeed and in truth it is nothing but evil all evil the worst evil yea the only and all the evil and basest evil only to be detested hated abhorred abominated and destroyed sin allures and overcomes but by shewing out and putting forth false Colours not its own its food starves the Soul its riches impoverisheth it its robes shew plainly the souls nakedness its beautifulness and gloriousness shew the souls deformity vileness and baseness wretchedness and unworthiness sin is the only Hell which racks tears rends and strikes through the soul with a fiery poysoned dart that makes the wound uncurable only the blood of God man man God can cure it can heal this deadly otherwise uncurable wound sin is that intolerable burthen that presseth down into that nethermost Hell that casteth into that Lake burning with fire and brimstone unquenchable sin is fewel to that fire so as it cannot be put out sin keeps alive that worm that ever gnaws and will never dye but causeth the soul thus to live in torments tormented eternally 22. O God my God heal me help me succor me comfort me sanctifie me and save me that I may appear before thee and in thy sight spotless and unblameable without wrinkle beautiful and comely through thine own comely transcendent beautiful beautifulness that I may O God in Christ comprehend that I am comprehended by thee that thou livest in me and I in thee that thou art mine and I am thine that I may Ah that I may henceforth and for ev 〈…〉 in thy love love and adore thy love and give thee O God and give thee all my love and my all for this thy love through grace thy most gracious and free gift in thus accounting and making me lovely 23. He that lives in Christ is a new Creature and he that is a new Creature lives in Christ 24. All old things are past away and behold all things are become new 25. His life is new for he now loves all truth because his love is true 26. If he thinks or doth any evil it is not what he would but that which he would not either do
of Nature that it may be no longer I that live but thee in me and that even whilst I live here in the flesh it may be by thy Faith and in thy Faith O Son of God who hast loved me and given thy self for me O Lord I believe increase I beseech thee my Faith that I may increase in strength grow in grace from one degree unto another that having finisht my Course here in thy fear I may dye in thy favour and after this life ended live with thee and in thee in bliss and glory world without end Ah Lord God seeing I have taken upon me to speak be thou pleased to hear me and to continue to inspire and teach me to direct and instruct me by thy holy spirit that I may yet prize thee and praise thee for thy late great and sweet mercies poured and showred down so gratiously and plenteously into my heart and soul on my Bed of Sickness Ah how greatly hast thou been pleased to strengthen and comfort me and to make me to rejoyce in and over all my pains yea making the thoughts of Death and that King of terrors to be pleasant and comely in my eyes Ah the Mountains the Mountains the Floods Rivers Wells and Springs of true Joy that thou hast been pleased O God in Jesus Christ by thy holy Spirit to communicate unto my Soul Heart and Conscience feasting and filling me in the assurance of thy gracious and divine love and the pardon of all my sins the flouds O God of thy most sweet and blessed presence have often covered me and swallowed up my soul into the Ocean of thy unexpressible and infinite goodness Thus even thus thou raisest up those that are fallen comfortest those that are afflicted healest those that are sick strengthenest those that are weak enrichest those that are poor cloathest those that are naked and settest poor Prisoners free that they may freely rejoyce in thee and this Joy I am sure none can nor none shall take from me for being thus redeemed and made free by thee O Christ we are free indeed and shall with thee enjoy perfect Freedom and Liberty And now O Lord God what shall I render unto thee for all thy many and special mercies which thou hast been pleased so richly graciously freely and plentifully to pour down upon my poor soul and body I have nothing to offer thee but what is already thine own all is thine O God I confess all mine is thine and I am thine give me I most humbly beseech thee in Jesus Christ who is worthy a heart according to thine own heart that I may walk worthily before thee all the remainder of my days not turning aside or going astray to the right hand of pleasures or the left hand of profits and that I may make it my daily food to keep thy holy Laws yea my Heaven here on earth to do thy will on earth as it is done in Heaven Let henceforth all my thoughts words and actions tend to honour and glorifie thee my good God and Heavenly Father making thine honour only my honour and thy glory my glory redeeming the â—orepast time of my life by an exact serious carefull watchfull and holy walking in thy most holy ways and never be truly satisfied till thou hast altogether sanctified me in spirit soul and body so that I may always see my self in thee and thee in me and know my self to be thine and thee to be mine Ah Lord thou knowest all my thoughts affections and desires yea my very heart what then shall I say unto thee make me I beseech thee such as thou would'st have me to be fit me for thy self and take me to thy self do for me what thou knowest to be best for me that I may glorifie thee not what I will but all that thou wilt both on soul and body that I may live that life and dye that death by which I may glorifie thee most is all and the only desires of my heart and soul so be it Lord so be it Amen Amen Ah Lord God that knowest all things thou knowest what is my end and aim in publishing this thy work thine it is and I trust thou wilt own it and therefore I seek no other power to patronize or protect it and thou owning of it I care not who disown it thou esteeming of it I care not who dis-esteem it thou approving of it I care not who dis-approve of it and that thou wilt do this and bless it too unto the hearts of many O Lord I believe and therein rejoyce that it shall prove a Cordial to some and a Corrosive unto others a plaister of healing to some and a sharp Launce to make the wound deeper of others even as a savour of life to some and of death to others to cast down some and to raise up others to condemn some and to justifie others to give trouble to some and peace to others for some scoffing deriding Ishmaels railing Shimeis sinfull Critical censures I cannot but think it will meet with in this sinfull ignorant Nation and times because it hath not the false visage on which they prize that is the invention and flourishes of the brain of humane Wisdome for such Ah Lord it is not intended neither by thee I know nor by me so I shall not I trust care for or be a whit troubled at such Curs snarling or barking for power I know they shall not have to bite or hurt me But some true Nathaniels in whom there is neither gall nor guile some spiritually wise unto Salvation that are able to judge of all things having that anointing in them that is truth and no lye and which teacheth and instructeth them in the truth many such I hope and trust it shall also meet with and for them and for them only it is I hope by thee O Lord my God intended and so thou knowest it is by me that they with me may together laud and praise thee and give thee the honour due unto thy holy Name for all thy gracious works of wonders wrought in and on my poor Soul I know O Lord that what thou hast thus in the abundance of thy mercies given me is not for my self alone neither may I monopolize it to my self hide away this my Talent in this my house of Clay not keep this Star or rather Sun-light from others but thou expectest and requirest I know well that as I have freely received so that I freely impart of it and give it as thine unto others that I should refresh them with the same refreshing wherewith thou hast refreshed my poor unworthy Soul and comfort and make glad their hearts with the same comforts that thou hast made glad and comforted mine and give them to eat and drink of that true bread and water of life wherewith thou hast so abundantly and frequently fed feasted solaced and refreshed me and as it were inrich them with the true riches of saving