to bridle the folly of selfe will But for the great wisdome of Councellors of State Iudges of Lawes Gouernours of Citties Generals of Armies or such great People in such great places they go so farre beyond our wits that wee had rather be obedient to their wills then enter into the depth of their discretions and content our selues with that wisdome which is most necessary for vs to loue God aboue all our neighbours as our selues to rise with the day raies and goe to bed with a candle to eate when we are hungry drinke when wee are thirsty trauell when we are lusty and rest when we are weary feare God be true to the Crowne keepe the lawes pay scot and lot bréed no quarrels doe no wrongs and labour all we may to haue peace both with God and man speake truth and shame the Diuell pitch and pay say and hold trye and trust belieue no lies tell no newes deceiue not an enemy nor abuse a friend make much of a little and more as it may increase These are the points of wisdome that we runne the course of our Card by Now for valour it is seene best in the best quarrells and Saint Paul said that hee had fought the good fight to fight for the preseruation of a state the person of a King or Prince to keepe my house from thieues my children from dogs and my family from famine and my faith from fainting in the word of God this hold we the good fight and the true valour not to stand vpon puntos not to endure a lye without death challenge for a frowne and kill for a fowle word aduenture all for nothing or perhaps worse then nothing loose lands goods life and soule and all in a murther or a bloody bargaine to please a Punke and to be counted a Captain of the Diuels army or a Gallant of the damned crew except some few howers before his end while the worme of Conscience bites him at the heart a sparke of grace enter into his soule and make him at the Gallowes make a repentant rehearsall of a lewd life and leaue a fayre example at his death to all behoulders perhaps with these good words at his departing All yee that heere bee take example to be hang'd by me Oh braue valour that makes many a weeping eye when my mother for my sonne and my sister for my brother or my wife for my husband or my father for my daughter or mine vncle for mine aunt sit and howle like dogs to see the workes of the Diuel in the wicked of the world Such kinde of valour I haue heard my father say that he hath mark't in some places where he hath trauel'd I know not where a great way hence when he was young where he found among a hellish company of accursed spirits they were called valliant fellowes that durst say any thing doe any thing or be any thing till they were worse then nothing durst quarrell with any man abuse any man strike any man kill any man and care for no man durst prate lye sweare and forsweare scoffe and swagger drinke and dice drab and stab durst be hang'd and damn'd for a horrible fit of a franticke humour and this was their valour I pray God there be none such among yee where you keepe I am sure there keepe none such among vs. Now for truth I hope there are more true hearts in the Country then there are tongues in the City in many places yea and in greater places then I will speake of but where they be God blesse them and where they are not God send them and that is all that I say to them But for ought I sée there is so much falshood in the world that I feare there is littletruth on the earth and in great places where protestations are without performances and excuses are better then lies Where is either truth of loue or loue of truth but a little I thinke I would there were more But with vs truth is so beloued that a Lyer is held little better then a theefe and it is a lesson we learne our little Children speake truth tell truth take heed you lie not the Diuell is the father of lies and little better be his Children deale truly with all men let your tongues and your hearts goe together Christ is truth in his holy name be true euer tell truth and shame the Diuell be true to God in your beliefe and obedience to his word bee true to your King in the loyalty of your hearts bee true to your wiues in the honesty of your bodies and bee true to your friends in performing your promises this is the loue we haue to truth if you haue it so it is a good blessing of God and makes a happy people And for loue if it bee in the world I thinke it is in the Country for where enuy pride and malice and Iealousie makes buzzes in mens braines what loue can bee in their hearts howsoeuer it slip from their tongues No no our Turtles euer flie together our Swannes euer swimme together and our louers liue and die together Now if such loue be among you it is worthy to be much made of but if you like to day and loath to morrow if you fawne to day and frowne to morrow if all your loue bee to laugh and lye downe or to hope of gaine or reward that is none of our loue wee loue all goodnes and onely for goodnes first God then our selues then our wiues and children then our family and then our friends and so hath loue his course in our liues and therefore if there be any obseruation in affection I pray you let it bee rather in the Country then in any place where faith is not so fast but fancy can alter loue vpon a little humour of dislike Now for your fauour when one Begger growes rich by it how many rich grow beggers through the hope of fortune and therefore in my minde better be Lord ouer a little of a mans owne then to follow a Lord for the bare name of a Gentleman and better with a little to bee counted a good man then with gaping after Gudgions to be thought I know not what Truly Cousin I thinke euery thing is best in his owne nature as one is bred so let him bée for as a Courtier cannot hold the plough but he wil be soone séene to be no work-man so a Country-man cannot court it but hee will shewe in somewhat from whence he comes And for a Ladies looke I thinke wee haue wenches in the Country that haue as faire eyes as finer creatures who when they list to looke kindly will make many glad though few gay fellowes And for apparell plaine russet is our wearing while pied coats among vs we account players or fooles except they be better men then the best of our parish except our Landlord Now for preferment and aduancement they be encouragements to some Spirits that are
for your Officers their charge is so great that wee desire not their places for we hold a priuate quiet better then a publike trouble and a cleane conscience worth a world of wealth Now for your Orders perhaps your need of them is great where disorders may be grieuous for vs in the Country we haue few but in the Churches for our Seates and at our méetings for our places where when Maister Iustice and the high Constables are set honest men like good fellows will sit togeither except at a Sessions or an Assise wee bée called vpon a Iury then as it pleaseth the Clerk of the Peace set one afore another and therefore for orders what néede we trouble our selues with other then we are vsd vnto I remember I haue heard my father tell of a world of orders hee had seene in diuers places where he had traueld where right good Gentlemen that had followed great Lords and Ladies had enough to doe to study orders in their Seruice a Trencher must not be laid nor a Napkin folded out of order a dish set downe out of order A Capon carued nor a Rabbet vnlaced out of order a Goose broken vp nor a Pasty cut vp out of order a Glasse filled nor a Cup vncouered nor deliuered out of order you must not stand speake nor looke out of order which were such a busines for vs to goe about that we should be all out of time ere we should get into any good order but in that there is difference of places and euery one must haue their due it is méets for good manners to kéepe the rules of good orders But how much more at rest are we in the Country that are not troubled with these duties Now for your eyes of brightnesse I feare you are not troubled with too many of them late sitting vp long watching and night busines as writings readings casting vp of accounts long watchings and such like other busines besides gaming playing at Cards Tables and Dice or such sports as spend time are all dangerous for weake sights and make a world of sore eies But as you said some of the best sort are wiser in their actions and more temperate in their motions and therefore keep their sights in more perfection which may be examples to others if they haue the grace to follow them But for our eies if we do not hurt them with a stripe of a twig in the wood a flyo in the ayre or a mote in the Sunne our eyes are as bright as christall so that we can se the least thing that may doe vs good and if we can sée the Sunne in the morning and the Moone an night see our Cattell in our pastures our sheepe in the Common our Corne in the fields our houses in repaire and our money in our purses our meate on our tables and our wines with our Children and looke vp to heauen and giue God thankes for all wee seeke no better sight Now for the cleannes of your hands I feare that now and then some of ye haue your hands so troubled with an itch that you must haue them nointed with the oyle of gold before you can fall to any good worke and some of yes that though your wits haue good inuentions yet you cannot write without a golden pen which indéede best fits a sine hand But for vs in the Country when we haue washed our hands after no foule worke nor handling any vnwholesome thing wee néede no little Forks to make hay with our mouths to throw our meat into them Now for the purenes of your hearts except Kings Quéenes and Princes and such great persons make no comparison with Country people where yea and nay are our words of truth faith and troth are our bonds of loue plaine dealing passages of honesty and kinde thankes continues good neighbour-hood A lyer is hated a scoffer scorned a spend-thrift derided and a miser not beloued a Swaggerer imprisoned a Drunkard punished and a Iugler whipped and a Théefe hanged for our hearts will harbour no such Guests And for loue two eyes and one heart two hands and one body two louers and one loue ties a knot of such truth as nought but death can vndoe Now for braines of Wisdome I thinke hee is wiser that keepes his owne and spends no more then néeds then hee that spends much in hope of a little and yet may hay loose that too at last Now for tongues of truth let me tell you fayre words make fooles faine and Court holy-water will scarce wash a foule shirt cleane except it come from such a Fountaine as euery man must not dip his finger in But Cousin when hearts and hands goe together words and déeds goe together these are the tongues that will not faulter in their tales but tell truth in the face of the wide world and therefore excepting the best that may bee examples to the rest I thinke if truth be any where she is in the Country Now for the noblenesse of minds it fitteth the persons in their places but for vs in the Country wee had rather haue old Nobles in our purses then a bare name of noble without Nobles the reason may be that we doe not know the nature of noblenes so well as wee doe of Nobles and therefore wee heare onely so much of the cost of it that we haue no heart to looke after it but where it is truly we honour it and say God blesse them that haue it and if they be worthy of it well may they keepe it and that is all that I say to it Now to spirits of goodnes alas there is not one in the world Christ Iesus our Sauiour said so There is none good but God and if there be any on the earth I thinke a good beliefe and a good life doth best expresse the nature of it To conclude with Vertue in which you lay vp all the treasures of life I doubt not it is in the best I would it were so in all with you but bee it where it pleaseth God to send it once I verily belieue it to bee as truly in the Country as in places of higher compasse and by your leaue let me tell you of a Riddle of my fathers one writing touching that rare and pretious Iewell There is a secret few doe knowe And doth in speciall places grow A rich mans praise a poore mans wealth A weake mans strength a sicke mans health A Ladyes beauty a Lords blisse A matchlesse Iewell where it is And makes where it is truely seene A gracious King and glorious Queene And this said he is vertue which though he vnderstood in the Court yet he made vse of it in the Country Now therefore good Cousin be content with your humour and let me alone with mine I thinke I haue answered all your positions and let me tell you whatsoeuer you say I verily belieue that ere you die I shall finde you rather in the roole of peace
in the Country then in the tryall of patience in the Court except the heauens highest Grace and vnder heauen our earths highest Honour make you happier in their fauours then the whole world else can make you And now what say you further vnto mee COVRT I say this to you kind Cousin that your Fathers lessons haue made you better learned then I looked for but yet let me tell you had you seene but one of our showes in our Triumphs heard one of our Songs on our solemne dayes and tasted one of our dishes in our solemne feasts you would neuer looke more on a May-game listen more to a louzy Ballad nor euer be in loue with béefe and pudding COVNT Oh Cousin stay the Bells I thinke you are deceiued for it may be that at one of these Showes I might sée the fruites of my labours and my poore Neighbours flong away in gaudes and feathers and perhaps haue a proud humour wish to be as wise as they that were no wiser then they should bée and therefore I thinke better tarry at home then trauell abroad to no better purpose Now for Songs a plaine ditty well expressed is better with vs then a fine conceit as faigned in the voyce as the matter Now for your dishes of meat I will tell you I heard my father once report it for a truth that a great man who liued where you liue sent him for a great dainty a Porpose Pye or two cold which taking very thankfully and causing the Messenger to stay dinner with him he cut one of them vp and very nicely taking out a péece of it gaue it to my Mother which she no sooner had in her mouth but it had like to haue marred all with her stomacke but shee quickly conueyed it all vnder boord which my Father séeing said why how now wife What doe you loue no good meate yes quoth she but I pray you tast of it your selfe which he no sooner did but he made as much hast out of his mouth with it as she did then did the Children likewise the same and the Seruants being by their Master offred ech one a péece of it no sooner tasted of it but they did so spit and spatter as if they had béene poysoned then he gaue a péece to his Dogge which smelt to it and left it by and by after came in a Miller and his Dogge to whom my Father inlike manner offered a péece but neither man nor dog would eate of it wherevpon my Father heartily laughing with thankes to his great Lord for his kinde token sent one of them backe againe to him with this message Commend me I pray you to my good Lord and tell him I heartily thanke his honour and tell him if either my selfe or my wife or my children or my seruants or my dog or the Miller or his dogge would haue eaten of it I would neuer haue sent one bit backe againe to him of it but it may bée that it is more wholesome then toothsome and hee may make a better friend with it so paying the messenger for his paines sent him away with his message which was no sooner deliuered but his Lord heartily laughed at it This was one of your fine dishes Another a great Lady sent him which was a little Barrell of Cauiary which was no sooner opened and taued but quickly made vp againe was sent backe with this message Commend me to my good Lady and thanke her honour and tell her we haue blacke Sope enough already but if it be any better thing I beseech her Ladyship to bestow it vpon a better friend that can better tell how to vse it Now if such be your fine dishes I pray you let me alone with my Country fare And now what say you else vnto mée COVRT I say this that Nature is no votcher and there is no washing of a blacke Moore except it bée from a little durty sweat the Oxe will weare no Socks howsoeuer his feete carry their sauour and Diogenes would bee a Dog though Alexander would giue him a kingdome and therefore though you are my kinsman I sée it is more in name then in nature thy breath smels all of Garlike and thy meat tasts all of mammaday pudding which breaking at both ends the stuffing runnes about the Pot And since I sée thou art like a Milstone that will not easily bee stirred I will leaue thee to thy folly till I finde thée in a better humour for I sée the Musique of thy minde hangeth all vpon the base string Farewell COVNT Nay soft a while let me not be in your debt for an ill word or two I see truth is no lyer all in the Court are not Courtiers nor euery man that hath witte is not truly wise for then no man would spend breath to no purpose an Oxes foot may bee sweeter then a Cods head when Sockes may bee but saueguards for bare tooes in broken stockings Garlike hath béene in more grace then Tobacco and is yet in the Country with them that loue meate better then smoake Diogenes is dead and Alexander is in his graue and better bee a manish Dogge then a dogged man And if your good will be to your good words you are more like a stranger then a kinseman And for my pudding I belieue it will proue better then a Tobacco pipe so rather desirous to be a Milstone not to stirre at euery motion then a feather in a Weather-cocke to turne with euery gayle of winde I will pray for your better wit then you haue showne in a selfe wild humour and so till I finde you in more patience and lesse passion I will leaue you till wee méete againe hoping that you will bee as I am and will be a friend to forget all ill humours and ready to requite all kindnesses COVRTIER So will I and so Farewell Thus they parted for that time but what fell out at their next meeting as you like of this you shall heare more hereafter FINIS Necessary Notes for a Courtier Question WHat is a Courtier Answer An Attendant vpon Maiesty a companion of Nobility a friend to Vertue and a hope of honour Quest What things are chiefely to be required in a Courtier A. Two Q. What are they A. A good body and a good minde Q. How are they to be vsed A. In humillity and ciuillity Q. To whom A. The first vnto God the second to man Q. What are the proofes of a good mind A. Loue of goodnesse and feare of greatnesse Q. What are the tokens of a good body A. Ability and agility Q. What preserues a good minde in goodnesse A. Prayer and Charity Q. And what keeps the body in strength A. Continence and exercise Q. What is the chiefe grace of a Courtier A. The feare of God and the fauour of a King Q. What is the Honour of a Courtier A. The loue of vertue Q. What is the wealth of a Courtier A. The loue a King