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A00423 The stage of popish toyes conteining both tragicall and comicall partes: played by the Romishe roysters of former age: notably describing them by degrees in their colours. Collected out of H. Stephanus in his Apologie vpon Herodot. With a friendlie forewarning to our Catelin Catholikes: and a brief admonition, of the sundrie benefites we receiue by hir Ma: blessed gouernement ouer vs. Compyled by G.N.; Apologia pro Herodoto. English. Selections Estienne, Henri, 1531-1598.; North, George, gentleman. 1581 (1581) STC 10552; ESTC S101744 72,594 99

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with Patridges and Wodcocks without Orenges saying what penaunce do we endure and what persecution do we passe for our Mother Holy Church So as the marke wherevnto all those grosse creatures of the Popes did tende theyr trauayles was only to make good cheare and to liue at ease and pleasure We reade of one that before he was Pope in signe of humilitie and deuotion would euer féede vppon a nette but so soone as he hadde attayned the Papacie he commaunded hys man to set those bourde clothes aside for he hadde gotten that he fished for It was in those days a familiar saying to name a Frier or a Monke a righte brother which in effect was a good companion one that loued to fare well and to haue good fellowship whereof procéeded this prouerbe He lokes like an Abbot he is as fatte as a Monke or Frier he is as great as an Abbie lubber and as wel in larde as a hogge As though there had byn some secret Sympathie betwéen Hogs and Monkes I meane in puris naturalibus In their own nature for Sainte Anthoni● a founder of their fraternitie was first a Swine-heard and then a Monke-heard which truely appeared in hys professors for they wente aboute crying giue something of your charitie to the Porklings of Saint Anthonie And a certaine Scot writing an Epigram concluded his resolution in these Verses Credibile est Circen mutasse potentibus herbis In Monachosquesues inquesues Monachos No doubt but Circes coulde by Hearbes of vertues hie Make Monkes of Hogges and Hogges of Monkes as fat as Bore in stye And in trueth what condition of life could be more resembled to swine than theirs that commonly fed on the Church whose order of liuing besides their brutishe behauiour was as carelesse of religion as hogges are senselesse of reason One of theyr owne profession who knewe their nature by a true measure and coulde shape a Monke by the shadowe of a beaste or a beast by the substaunce of a Monke describeth thē thus he must be nastie a glutton slouthful a whoremonger ill giuen a foole blockish a drunkard and ignoraunt of al good Artes drinke like a Pigge and féede like a Hogge So that if he can a little sing it suffiseth to be an Abbot Another more abruptly though as aptly making a similitude of a thrée footed stoole by a Frier sayth he is rounded like a foole clothed in graye like a Woulfe and girded with a corde like a théefe and yet is no foole but a Frier Our simple Priests y t professed not so strict a life whose profits only cōsisted in y e merits of the Masse had special care how good soeuer theyr breade were to drinke stil of the best good reason they had to dry vppe raw humours lest in celebrating theyr Masse some rumaticke matter mighte drop from theyr drowsie braynes as also deuotion is ryper in a warme stomacke than a colde And according to the opinion of our olde Poets Post pocula fluit sermo Therefore he that should play so many parts alone as those in their masking Massings do had néede drinke of the best and in a full cuppe for if it be tollerable to saye hoc est nasum meum This is my nose in lieu of hoc est corpus meum this is my hody so it be done cum intentione consecrandi or no ill to cast a child into a tubbe of Water so it be cum intentione Baptizandi as sūdry their gloses cōfirm what error can there be in a poore Massing Prieste to drinke drunke when it is done cum intentione missificand● As a Curate at Fere in Tartenoys had drunke so déepe ouer night that the next day in lieu of Christening he ministred to the infant his last vnction And another priest at Ansterdā in Hollād y t slept in his Memento being sodainly wakened cryed y e king drinks dreming he had bin in the company he was drunk in the night before As also a Person of Vittre in Brytaine ouerwatched at Post and Paire dwelte so long in his Mement● that being hastily wakned he cryed flush and began to rake the Chalice to him A Curat of a village called old Slough betwéen Hamburge and L●becke slepte so soundely in hys Memento as the partye who helped him to Masse in the meane whyle stole away the Chalice and the plate And when the Priest wakened he ran after hym in hys robes crying stoppe the théefe who was worthyly mocked of euerye man for that he did not first ●argaine with him what he woulde haue for helping hym to Masse Among thys good companye I must in pardon place a Chaplaine of the Lord de Bies who setting in a corner of the aulter a draught of the best reseruing it for his Vltimum vale after he had sayde Masse in the middest of his Memento he spyed his boy about it to whome he sodainely spake aloude let it alone you villaine it was not set there for you whereby you may sée what a speciall care these Masse Merchauntes had to a cup of good Wine If I should from the Priest to the Pope loke into al their excesse in delicacie and gluttonie it woulde make a more volume than my muse pretēdeth But you may imagine of their meate by the men and of their dyet by their degrees For if the poorer sort euē to beggers could féede fat ful and fine you must suppose the mytred redde hatted and triple crowned cate not of the worst but as their stomackes longed so would they euer haue their lust aunswered Pope Iulie the thirde otherwise called Iohn Maria de Mōte commaunded to haue a Peacock that was drest for dinner to be kept colde for his supper whiche not being done accordingly he grewe in a great rage for it a Cardinal then being with him at y e bourd perswaded his holynesse not to be angry to whom the Pope replied saying if God were so highly offēded in Paradise to cast out our first father Adam frō thence and only for eating an Aple why shald not I being his vicar on earth be more furious for a Peacocke knowing how farre it is in value aboue a rotten Aple The same Pope louing Bacon very wel and wanting it at his bourd in anger asked hys Steward howe it happened he had not his Gammon of Bacon to whom he answeared your Phisitions charged me to bring none before you wherat his holynesse entred into such a raging Passion as he said Porta mi quel mio piatio al despetto de Dio Bring me my Bacō in despight of God Heare you haue their disordinate desire to liue delicately for the which they spared no degrée nor respected any person but Epicure like liued only to eate Which truely was the chiefest cause why they entertayned the World in so great abuse and yet doe where their authoritie antient credite hath place for all their endeuour and Studie from the lowest to the
not vnderstande or doeth the furie of Pharao so bewitch you as you are become desperate wyl not Moyses moue you wyll not Gods worde wynne you nor his threatnings reclaime you excepte you haue myracles can nothing but a Pope and his Pardons please you your Pilgrimage to Saintes of both kyndes content you and a muster of Masses wyth a worlde of Monkes make you to séeme Christians Haue not wée more good aduertisementes more manifest signes and tokens more sharpe rebukes more gentle warnyngs and more mylde admonitions than our elders had Is not vice now better discouered all sortes of sinnes reproued and more liuely to the quicke both by worde and writing touched than euer it was yet what was colde in them is frosen in you where they innocently halted you are willingly lame where they were by ignoraunce dimme sighted you are by wilfulnesse altogither blinded where they were harde of hearing hauing no remedie you are starke deffe in your stubborne obstinacie How hateful and dangerous it was in those dayes to deliuer the truth vnlesse they woulde by fire alter into ayre sundrie that suffered their tormentes testifyed But you that haue the frée scope of the Gospell to entreate on whereby you are taught the true waye to our onelye Sauiour whose errours may bée eased whose doubtes maye bee cleared and frée of all feare may séeke aske knocke bée resolued and receyued doe stubbornely stande on your owne conceites holding dreames for deuotion and dwel in a moste hatefull hope of alteration By Christ you are called by the Prince commaunded and by your brethren entreated to enter into a safe vnitie among thē the Banket is prepared gods word doth inuite you bringing your wedding garmēts no guests more welcome let no shame withholde you from so sacred a feast grudge not to go and the holy Ghost will guide you There is more comfort saith Christ in one sinner truely repenting thā in many that from their beginning haue continued constant If to yéeld in worldly causes be wisedome profit and policie howe much more will it benefite the health of our Soules to returne in singlenesse of heart to his heauenly Maiestie if to bende bée better than to breake let ●● plye and applye our liuing to his liking that hath power to bruse euerye bone and to consume vs as chaffe before fire let not our old Adam whose knobbed and knotted braunches will rather rende than cleaue cause the whole body to bee caste into an euerlasting and vnquenchable flame It wil then bée too late to saye with Diues send to my brethren that they maye knowe the distresse of the paine and tormentes I am in you will truely bée aunsweared they haue the Prophetes and Preachers among them c. You can no waye excuse your selues by ignoraunte for as the Sunne excelling all other lyghtes doeth shyne both on good and bad so doeth the bright beames of Gods worde farre surpassing the Sunne in clearenesse extende an equall comforte thoughe the vse bée not equall as wel vpon the sinner as the iust liuer Yet as the Ethyopians doe curse the Sunne for scortching them so do the desperate that are giuen vp to their owne lust hate his heauenly word for rebuking them I haue hearde sundrye of your coate saye that the loose lyuing of some our Prelates and Preachers doeth make you the more to mislike their doctrine deceiue not your selues it wyll passe for no payment They lyue as fleshe into are as men wee muste direct our lyues to their sayings and not to their doyngs And it is also written if an Angell come out of Heauen and denuer you other doctrine than is contained in the Testament of our Sauiour Iesus Christ reiect him and beléeue him not More if they receiue not that you teach in my name leaue them shake the du●● of their dwelling from your feete It shall be better in the generall iudgement for Sodome and Gomorha then with those Heare wée haue no commaundemente to followe their lyuing but we are hardly threatned to obey their Preaching so long as they kéepe within the compasse of the Gospell shewing vs of no saluation besides Christ crucified that none may come to the Father but by him You will obiect the sayings of Christ in the. 5. of Matthewe Sic luceat lux vestra coram hominibus vt c. Let your light so shine before men as they may see your good workes and glorifie your Father that is in heauen It is a good and ghostly admonition and I wishe it were so yet no direct doctrine for vs that if they liue not accordingly to condemne their sayings by theyr doings for if that be authoritie to confirme the one or consounde the other your selues shoulde looke into the liues of your Auntient fathers so tearmed as Abbots Pryors Monkes Nunnes and Friers of all fethers Bishoppes Prebends and Priests of all sortes with the liues of sundry Saintes canonized by your Pops and euen the Popes themselues with al their Colledge of Cardinals in whose damnable trace you desire to drawe without regarde to God your Prince profession or Countrey whose great abuses from the beginning founded on all filthy hipocrisie respecting neyther person place nor times manifested their liues to their learning confirmed their doctrine to their doing with such and so hatefull examples as I sorrow to know them shame to think of thē am much more hashfull to write them Yet least you should say I suppose more than I can proue I will in pardon of the learned deliuer you somewhat testified by the true auth● and of sundry Wherin if I kéepe not the order of a perfect ●ut bring ●apher impute it rather to the imperfection of my 〈◊〉 than to the basenesse of the matter whose had substaunce I cōfesse may abhorre any Christian to read it yet no more than is méete to be known And therfore first I addresse me to theyr superfluous excesse in gourmandise the surse and sinke of all sinne The French prouerbe sayth Apres la panse vient la danse After meate comes mirth for gluttonie is the chiefe nourisher and leader to all inceste and letcherie if you then ioyne the qualitie with the quantitie of that they commonlye fed on that is to compare the finesse of their meate to the filling of their paunches you shal finde then that vnder the title of Holy pouertie they were as curious and daintie mouthed as might be accounting of no God but of the Pope and their bellies As a Prior of Prouance playing with his Minion in the morning after he had gaped stretched belched and spitted hée commanded a coople of Partridges to be rosted for his breakfast whych when he had deuoured with a pot of the best half in a passion saide good Lord giue me patience for we of the Church suffer sundry crosses Affirming the furie of a Cardinall that at a generall counsel grewe in a great chafe bicause he was serued