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A46221 Work for a cooper being an answer to a libel, written by Thomas Wynne the cooper, the ale-man, the quack, and the speaking-Quaker : with a brief account how that dissembling people differ at this day from what at first they were / by one who abundantly pities their ignorance and folly. Jones, William, fl. 1679-1710. 1679 (1679) Wing J1002; ESTC R12360 16,124 36

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destruction Thus our foolish Quaker thought that if he did but interlard his ruful conceits with words of Holy Writ and Hoop his leakie Vessel with that refin'd Gold 't would certainly hold Water that is bring him reputation among those of his own way and perhaps some little profit too which to all that have eyes to see cannot possibly be of any danger the Hook being so visible notwithstanding all the glory of the Bait that nothing will be caught except some poor contemptible and very selly Fish indeed So that all his trouble was to no purpose unless to shew his fool-hardiness in giving holy Isaac and Ezra the lie or to insinuate this way what skill he had at Sharps by his thus furiously running the Bible through Sure he and his Fairy-crew are the very people pointed at by Saint Paul when he said in 2 Tim. 3. Of this sort are they that creep into houses and lead captive silly women laden with sin led away with divers lusts c. adding in the very next Chapter The time will come when they will not endure sound Doctrine but after their own lusts heap to themselves Teachers having itching ears c. But our Quaker will not endure that this should be fulfill'd by him and his Blazing-stars for they if any body he so mad as to believe him have got the Key of David with which they can instantly unlock all mysteries It may be so but I should be extreamly loth to swear it For instance I verily believe he knows not the meaning of Beatus qui praestolabitur perveniet ad dies mille trecentos triginta quinque nor of 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 These are words of holy Scripture yet certainly neither he nor any Quaker living can tell us I do not say the bare English of them but the true intent meaning and signification thereof Sure I am that secret things belong to God but the revealed to us and our Children Our Thomas is therefore but a false man and a Hypocrite boasting of skill in those mysteries which indeed he knows nothing of being wholly ignorant of that very thing wherein he pretends his greatest his incomparable Talent lies No he 's much fitter to plant Tobacco c. or at best to mind his Ax and Saw the Joynter and the Adz alias Nedde the Crisle and the Head-knife the Spoak and the Round-sheve the Dowling and the Taper-Bitts the Tap and the Bung-bore than to open intricate and abstruse places being undoubtedly much more dexterous and of a clearer understanding in the use of these Tools than in the sacred business of a divine Interpreter Nay worse yet I believe he is ignorant in his very Trade of Quack Chyrurgery and can't so much as enlighten his credulous and very venturous Patients with the meaning of the Hypo and the Epigaster the Medulla Spinalis and Pilorus the Syncondrosis Syndeurosis and Synsarcosis nor how far it is from the Midriff to the left Ventricle of the Heart or from his own Metapedium's to the Subclavicular branch of his Vena Cava He knows not what the Thorax the Apophysces Mamillares the Diaphragma the Nombril the Paroxysm and Prostata Parastates Amnios or Corion mean Nor is he able to acquaint them Cacochymically how the Placenta has to do with the Lacteal vein or the seat of the Vertebra's with the Os Sacrum Or what a Cathartique Cataplasm signifies to a Quaker that has a Windmil in his Scull nor discover to the World all the Distempers China-root Sassafras Sarsaparilla Diapalma and Album Rasis are good for Nor how far it is from Scylla to Charybdis or what consanguinity there is between the Porpos and the Whale or the Craw-fish and the Lobster Now if he has but Honesty enough to confess his ignorance in these and ten thousand other as poor and common things how much more easie is it for him to be defective in far remoter undertakings But notwithstanding his huffing pretence to the Key of David he is so conscious of somewhat 'twere well if of his own ignorance that in the fifteenth Page of his abominable Book he saies As you prize the welfare of your immortal Souls cease from man and man's teaching In which methinks he 's guilty of Felo de Se of having destroy'd himself for he addes that the true Teacher is onely the anointing from within and we all know that our Thomas is not that anointing therefore not fit at all by his own confession to be a Teacher And here indeed to give the Devil his due he was very much in the right on 't for having no authority from either God or Man to teach all he ever did or can do will be but man's teaching and the very worst way in the World of teaching too How foolish therefore was he in this way of expressing himself bidding people cease from doing that very thing which he at the same time does intimating to such fools as will believe it as if he were really something more than Man leading men to the same fatal Precipice that Herod's Flatterers arriv'd at to vouch his proud sayings his imperious Non-sence to be the Voice of God and not of man After which he invites us all to come and drink of the Waters of life freely as if he alone had had them in his keeping not to be dispens'd but when where and to whom he pleas'd this was very hard and strange indeed Is it no longer possible to partake of those blessed Springs but from his Heretical and poisoned Cistern God forbid I could wish the poor wretch may be forgiven this extravagance for certainly he knows not so much as what those holy Waters mean Let us therefore most earnestly pray in the words of holy Church That God who shews to them that be in errour the Light of his Truth to the intent they may return into the way of righteousness would mercifully grant to all them that are admitted to the fellowship of Christ's Religion that they may eschew all those things that are contrary to their Profession and follow such good things as are agreeable to the same through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen But if really those holy Waters were in his keeping and wholly at his dispose may we not dare to suspect his generosity Does his own trifling Pedlary stuff go off at that free rate who ever has receiv'd his corruptible things for nothing Has he never meekly finger'd Goose or Gibblets Pig or Pettitoes Wine or Honey by way of soothing from those of his own Gang How then shall we believe that he will do greater and infinitely better matters freely Freeness in the best sence is a branch of holy Charity which he is so far from that he is become unjust too a Robber upon God's High-way to Heaven bids us stand and deliver up the very means of Salvation forbids holy and lawful Teaching and the use of that Commission which God himself hath given Go teach all Nations baptizing
dolefully all that had either Honesty or Courage to stem or thwart the current of their Pride and Avarice They use the good things of this World with as much fondness and delight as ever other sinners did Nor does Righteousness alone serve to cloath them they wear and will do as good Cloth Silks and Camlets as the proudest of mankinde can do offering freely to stand proof that the sin lies onely in the Colour or the broadness of the Ribbon Their way of Good-fellowship is also become very fashionable and for their lasting commendation are now so conformable a people in that point that they very seldom or never shrink in the wetting not much mattering what the unsanctifi'd say of their petty deviations of their Drunkenness Fornication Adultery Anger Envy Hatred Malice Pride Covetousness Vain glory and Hypocrisie and that notwithstanding all these rare qualifications they are as pure and sufficient Saints as any the whole World affords This needs not be much wonder'd at Experience has given all people of sense sufficient knowledge of their baseness who by striving to fly far enough from all Decency and Order are yet at last become the most formal Coxcombs produceable in this age crying out wofully against all external Ornaments whilst themselves at the same time doat most wickedly upon a Quirp-Cravat copi'd from a chitterling Original The very best of them are so far from submitting to every Ordinance of man for the Lord's sake that they will no so much as do it to those of God's own appointment of which their slighting and refusal of the holy Sacraments may serve as a most sufficient proof Nor do they stop here neither but go on to a perfect hatred of all that have better moral or intellectual endowments or any more of this Worlds good than what is unfortunately fallen to their own share And yet our Thomas in very many places of his Canting Enterlude would fain be thought hugely courteous for his inviting of as many Religions as his poor Memory could hold to see some rare sight no doubt but quite forgot the Jews and the Mahometans the Greek and the Muscovian Churches 't is a wonder that these also had not been bid to his intolerable Farce wherein at once he discovers both his Malice and his Folly too knowing in his own Conscience if indeed he has any that those people which he so promiscuously heaps together are neither alike in Principles nor Life and therefore ought not to have been alike treated by him For what reason had he to herd Protestants among Beasts of prey or worry us as much as in him lay between the Lions and the Bears Are these the thanks he returns our first and best Reformers for putting the holy Scriptures into the vulgar tongue without which he undoubtedly would have been still as ignorant that the Word of God was ever given man as now he is in the meaning of it 'T was hardly possible for any but a beastly Quaker to make Ingratitude his Goddess or fall down to worship the Devil 's eldest Daughter The holy Scriptures might still have lain dormant in their sheets of Greek and Hebrew for any remedy he could help us to But if he thinks it any kindness that they are faithfully translated why should he abuse and vilifie those that did it and that laid down their lives also to justifie the truth thereof They upon whose very credit he for his part at least takes those sacred Writings if he thinks they are so at all to be the revealed Will of God They were indeed holy and learned men and therefore most certain it is they have not deceived us but sure I am 't is more than he knows nor had he ever any the least spark of divine Revelation to ascertain their integrity Yet still but for those men or some such Pious and Learned Protestants 't is more than probable he would at this day have taken as some others do the Apocryphal to have been of equal Authority with the Canonical Scriptures He therefore has done extreamly ill in putting Protestants amongst his delinquent Pupils For if he thinks us not honest why will he believe us if he does why should he think us damn'd as the inavoidable consequence of his wicked opinion does suppose If all that were not are not nor ever will be Quakers were are and will be still in darkness and in the way to Hell as fain he would have all believe then certainly he must conclude that not onely those learned and pious Protestants that translated the holy Scriptures into the vulgar Tongues but that even the holy Prophets and Apostles also all the Saints and Martyrs all the devout Confessors Virgins and Widows from the beginning of the world till James Nailor's time have their portion onely in that woful place Ah most wicked Wretch how or when hadst thou authority to exclude true Penitents from eternal life or from the benefit of that Redemption purchased for us by the bloud of the most holy Jesus We Protestants are taught and enjoyn'd by the Church of God under pain of everlasting ruine most unfeignedly to repent of all our sins past and carefully to endeavour for the future that we sin no more And that we pray to God to deliver us from all blindness of heart from Pride Vain-glory and Hypocrisie from Envy Hatred and Malice and all Vncharitableness From all Sedition privy Conspiracy and Rebellion from all false Doctrine Heresie and Schism from Hardness of heart and Contempt of his Word and Commandment That he would please to bring into the way of truth all such as have erred and are deceived and give us all increase of Grace to hear meekly his Word to receive it with pure affection and bring forth the fruit of the Spirit And with the holy Prophet that God would please to make us clean Hearts and renew right Spirits within us That he would not cast us away from his presence nor take his holy Spirit from us but mercifully give us the continual comfort of his help and establish us with his free Spirit and as a just acknowledgement of his Goodness endeavour all our days in our several stations to teach his ways unto the wicked that sinners may be converted unto him And now will such a sincere course and such humble Prayers as these stand us in no stead unless also we become Quakers God forbid Sure I am there will come a day in which 't will appear who serv'd God and who serv'd him not When our Thomas may perhaps wish to no purpose that he had never spent his time so idly in quest of nothing but incentives to Pride and Immorality nor had abus'd God's Servants and the meaning of the Holy Ghost as Saint Peter said some had done Saint Paul's Epistles In which saies he are some things hard to be understood which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest as they do also the other Scriptures to their own