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A27303 The luckey chance, or, An alderman's bargain a comedy as is acted by their Majesty's servants / by Mrs. A. Behn. Behn, Aphra, 1640-1689. 1687 (1687) Wing B1744; ESTC R23614 58,912 83

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you Philander Who in lewd Rhimes confess the dear Appointment What Hour and where how silent was the Night How full of Love your Eyes and Wishing mine Faith no if you can afford me a Lease of your Love 'Till the Old Gentleman my Husband depart this wicked World I 'm for the Bargain Sir Cau. Hum what 's here a young Spark at my Wife Goes about ' em Gay Unreasonable Julia is that all My Love my Sufferings and my Vows must hope Set me an Age say when you will be kind And I will languish out in starving Wish But thus to gape for Legacies of Love 'Till Youth be past Enjoyment The Devil I will assoon sarewel Offers to go L. Fulb. Stay I conjure you stay Gay And loose my Assignation with my Devil Aside Sir Cau. 'T is so Ay Ay 't is so and Wise men will perceive it 't is here here in my Forehead it more than Buds it sprouts it flourishes Sir Feeb. So that young Gentleman has nettl'd him stung him toth ' quick I hope he 'll chain her up the Gad Bee's in his Qunnundrum in Charity I 'll relieve him come my Lady Fulbank the Night grows old upon our hands to dancing to jiggeting Come shall I lead your Ladyship L. Fulb. No Sir you see I am better provided Takes Gayman's hand Sir Cau. Ay no doubt on 't a Pox on him for a young handsom Dog They dance all Sir Feeb. Very well very well now the Posset and then ods bobs and then Dia. And then we 'll have t'other Dance Sir Feeb. Away Girls away and steal the Bride to Bed they have a deal to do upon their Wedding-nights and what with the todious Ceremonies of dressing and undressing the smutty Lectures of the Women by way of Instruction and the little Stratagems of the young Wenches ods bobs a man 's couzen'd of half his Night Come Gentlemen one Bottle and then we 'll toss the Stocken Exeunt all but L. Fulb Bred. who are talking and Gayman L. Fulb. But dost thou think he 'll come Bred. I do believe so Madam L. Fulb. Be sure you contrive it so he may not know whither or to whom he comes Bred. I warrant you Madam for our Parts Exit Bredwel stealing out Gayman L. Fulb. How now what departing Gay You are going to the Bride-Chamber L. Fulb. No matter you shall stay Gay I hate to have you in a Crowd L. Fulb. Can you deny me will you not give me one Lone hour i' th' Garden Gay Where we shall only tantalize each other with dull Kissing and part with the same Appetite we met no Madam besides I have Business L. Fulb. Some Assignation is it so indeed Gay Away you cannot think me such a Traytor 't is most important Business L. Fulb. Oh 't is too late for Business let to Morrow serve Gay By no means the Gentleman is to go out of Town L. Fulb. Rise the earlier then Gay But Madam the Gentleman lies dangerously sick and should he die L. Fulb. 'T is not a dying Uncle I hope Sir Gay Hum L. Fulb. The Gentleman a dying and to go out of Town to Morrow Gay Ay a he goes in a Litter 't is his Fancy Madam Change of Air may recover him L. Fulb. So may your change of Mistress do me Sir farewel Goes out Gay Stay Julia Devll be damn'd for you shall tempt no more I 'll love and be undone but she is gone And if I stay the most that I shall gain Is but a reconciling Look or Kiss No my kind Goblin I ll keep my Word with thee as the least Evil A tantalizing Woman's worse than Devil The End of the Second Act. ACT III. SCENE I. Sir Feeble's House The Second Song before the Entry A SONG made by Mr. Cheek NO more Lucinda ah expose no more To the admiring World those conqu'ring Charms In vain all day unhappy men adore What the kind Night gives to my longing Arms. Their vain Attempts can ne'r successful prove Whilst I so well maintain the Fort of Love Yet to the World with so bewitching Arts Your dazling Beauty you around display And triumph in the Spoyls of broken hearts That sink beneath your feet and crowd your way Ah! suffer now your Cruelty to cease And to a fruitless War prefers a Peace Enter Ralph with Light Sir Feeble and Belmour sad Sir Fee SO so the 'r gone Cme Francis you shall have the Honour of Undressing me for the Encounter but 't will be a Sweet one Francis Bel. Hell take him how he tezes me Vndressing all the while Sir Feeb. But is the young Rogue laid Francis is she stoln to Bed What Tricks the young Baggages have to whet a man's Appetite Bel. Ay Sir Pox on him he will raise my Anger up to Madness and I shall kill him to prevent his going to Bed to her Sir Feeb. A pise of those Bandstrings the more Hast the less Speed Bel. Be it so in all things I beseech thee Venus Sir Feeb. Thy Aid a little Francis oh oh thou choakst me ' Sbobs what dost mean Pinches him by the Throat Bel You had so hamper'd 'em Sir the Devil 's very mischievous in me Aside Sir Feeb. Come come quick good Francis adod I 'm as yare as a Hawk at the young Wanton nimbly good Francis untruss untruss Bel. Cramps seize ye what shall I do the near Approach distracts me Sir Feeb. So so my Breeches good Francis But well Francis how dost think I got the young Jade my Wife Bel. With five hundred pounds a year Joynture Sir Sir Feeb. No that wou'd not do the Baggage was damnably in love with a young Fellow they call Belmour a handsom young Rascal he was they say that 's truth on 't and a pretty Estate but hapning to kill a Man he was forc'd to flye Bel. That was great pity Sir Sir Feeb. Pity hang him Rogue ' sbobs and all the young Fellows in the Town deserve it we can never keep our Wives and Daughters honest for rampant young Dogs and an old Fellow cannot put in amongst 'em under being undone with Presenting and the Devil and all But what dost think I did being damnably in Love I feign'd a Letter as from the Hague wherein was a Relation of this same Belmour's being hang'd Bel. Is 't possible Sir cou'd you devise such News Sir Feeb. Possible man I did it I did it she swoonded at the News shut her self up a whole Month in her Chamber but I presented high she sight and wept and swore she 'd never marry Still I presented she hated loathed spit upon me still adod I presented till I presented my self effectually in Church to her for she at last wisely considered her Vows were cancell'd since Belmour was hang'd Bel. Faith Sir this was very cruel to take away his Fame and then his Mistress Sir Feeb. Cruel thou' rt an Ass we are but even with the brisk Rogues for they take away our Fame Cuckold us
Diamond Rocks By thy heavy Money Box. By thy shining Petticoat That hid thy cloven Feet from Note By the Veil that hid thy Face Which else had frighten'd humane Race Appear that I thy Love may see Soft Musick ceases Appear kind Fiends appear to me A Pox of these Rascals why come they not Four enter from the four Corners of the Stage to Musick that plays they dance and in the Dance dance round 'em and kick pinch and beat ' om Bear Oh enough enough Good Sir lay 'em and I 'll pay the Musick Gay I wonder at it these Spirits are in their Nature kind and peaceable and you have basely injur'd some body and then they will be satisfi'd Bear Oh good Sir take your Cerberuses off I do confess the Captain here and I have violated your Fame Noy Abus'd you and traduc'd you and thus we beg your Pardon Gay Abus'd me 'T is more than I know Gentlemen Bea. But it seems your Friend the Devil does Gay By this time Bredwel's marry'd Great Pantamogan hold for I am satisfi'd Exit Devils And thus undo my Charm Takes away the Circle they run out so the Fools are gone and now to Julia's Arms going SCENE Lady Fulbank's Anti-chamber She discover'd undrest at her Glass Sir Cautious undrest L. Fulb. BUt why to Night indeed you 're wonderous kind methinks Sir Cau. Why I don't know a Wedding is a sort of an Alarm to Love it calls up every Mans Courage L. Fulb. Ay but will it come when 't is call'd Sir Cau. I doubt you 'll find it to my Grief Aside But I think 't is all one to thee thou car'st not for my Complement no thou'dst rather have a young Fellow L. Fulb. I am not us'd to flatter much if forty Years were taken from your Age 't wou'd render you something more agreable to my Bed I must confess Sir Cau. Ay ay no doubt on 't L. Fulb. Yet you may take my Word without an Oath were you as old as Time and I were young and gay as April Flow'rs Which all are fond to gather My Beautys all shou'd wither in the Shade E'er I 'd be worn in a dishonest Bosom Sir Cau. Ay but you 're wondrous free methinks sometimes which gives shrewd Suspicions L. Fulb. What because I can not simper look demure and justifiy my Honour when none questions it Cry sie and out upon the naughty Women Because they please themselves and so wou'd I. Sir Cau. How wou'd what cuckold me L. Fulb. Yes if it pleas'd me better than Vertue Sir But I 'll not change my Freedom and my Humour To purchase the dull Fame of being Honest. Sir Cau. Ay but the World the World L. Fulb. I value not the Censures of the Crowd Sir Cau. But I am old L. Fulb. That 's your Fault Sir not mine Sir Cau. But being so if I shou'd be good-natur'd and give thee leave to love discreetly L. Fulb. I 'd do 't without your leave Sir Sir Cau. Do 't what cuckold me L. Fulb. No love discreetly Sir love as I ought love Honestly Sir Cau. What in Love with any Body but your own Husband L. Fulb. Yes Sir Cau. Yes quoth a is that your loving as you ought L. Fulb. We can not help our Inclinations Sir No more than Time or Light from coming on But I can keep my Vertue Sir intire Sir Cau. What I 'll warrant this is your first Love Gayman L. Fulb. I 'll not deny that Truth tho even to you Sir Cau Why in Consideration of my Age and your Youth I 'd bear a Conscience provided you do things wisely L. Fulb. Do what thing Sir Sir Cau. You know what I mean L. Fulb. Hah I hope you wou'd not be a Cuckold Sir Sir Cau. Why truly in a civil Way or so L. Fulb. There is but one Way Sir to make me hate you And that wou'd be tame Suffering Sir Cau. Nay and she be thereabouts there 's no discovering L. Fulb. But leave this fond Discourse and if you must Let us to Bed Sir Cau. Ay ay I did but try your Vertue mun dost think I was in earnest Enter Servant Serv. Sir here 's a Chest directed to your Worship Sir Cau. Hum 't is Wastall now does my Heart sail me a Chest say you to me so late I 'll warrant it comes from Sir Nicholas Smuggle some prohibited Goods that he has stoln the Custom of and cheated his Majesty well he 's an honest Man bring it in Exit Servant L. Fulb. What into my Apartment Sir a nasty Chest Sir Cau. By all Means for if the Searchers come they 'l never be so uncivil to ransack thy Lodgings and we are bound in Christian Charity to do for one another Some rich Commodities I am sure and some fine Knick-knack will fall to thy share I 'll warrant thee Pox on him for a young Rogue how punctual he is Aside Enter with the Chest. Go my Dear go to Bed I 'll send Sir Nicholas a Receit for the Chest and be with thee presently Exit severally Gayman peeps out of the Chest and looks round him wondering Gay Hah where am I By Heaven my last Nights Vision 'T is that inchanted Room and yonder the Alcove Sure 't was indeed some Witch who knowing of my Infidelity has by Inchantment brought me ●…her 't is so I am betray'd Pauses Hah or was it Julia That last Night gave me that lone Opporunity but hark I hear some coming Shuts himself in Enter Sir Cautious Sir Cau. Lifting up the Chest Lid. So you are come I see Goes and locks the Door Gay Hah he here nay then I was deceiv'd and it was Julia that last Night gave me the dear Assignation Aside Sir Cautious peeps into the Bedchamber L. Fulb. Within Come Sir Cautious I shall fall asleep and then you 'll waken me Sir Cau. Ay my Dear I'm coming she's in Bed I 'll go put out the Candle and then Gay Ay I 'll warrant you for my Part Sir Cau. Ay but you may over-act your Part and spoil all but Sir I hope you 'll use a Christian Conscience in this Business Gay Oh doubt not Sir but I shall do you Reason Sir Cau. Ay Sir but Gay Good Sir no more Cautions you unlike a fair Gamester will ●…ook me out of half my Night I am impatient Sir Cau. Good Lord are you so hasty if I please you shan't'go at all Gay With all my Soul Sir pay me three hundred Pound Sir Aside Sir Cau. Lord Sir you mistake my candid Meaning still I am content to be a Cuckold Sir but I wou'd have things done decently d' ye mind me Gay As decently as a Cuckold can be made Sir But no more Disputes I pray Sir Sir Cau. I 'm gone I 'm gone but harky Sir you 'll rise before Day Going out returns Gay Yet again Sir Cau. I vanish Sir but harky you 'll not speak a Word But let her think 't is I Gay Be gone I say Sir