of their Visiters esteeming it but a part of modish Repartee and fine breeding to ralily at and censure others and to make sport at their infirmities nay often create falts meerly to make sport so they be but wittily invented no matter how unjustly they are raised sure such Ladies never read that saying of Solomon That to do mischief is the sport of a fool and he that uttereth a slander is one and therefore she must be much worse than a fool that not only vents but invents slanders How common is it among our vain witty Ladies to make a quarrel rather than lose a Jeer and disoblige a good Neighbour sooner than stifle a witty Jest and so as the Wise man says make sport with casting out Fire-brands never considering at least not caring that an unjustice done to your Neighbour is a sin against God for tho you really only aim it at your Neighbour yet being forbidden by God your disobedience renders it a sin against God himself And 't is little less to Jeer at any ones natural defects or infirmities as being born ugly crooked or the like since 't is in a manner reproaching God for making them so But why should I spend time in taking notice of Ladies jeering at others ill shapes bad faces or little wit when many of the young Atheistical fry of our times are so profane as to pick out faults in Gods sacred Word and so railly at what they ought to adore and can only hope to be saved by I am sure our blessed Saviours Doctrin is so far against the scandalous abuses and censures of the Age wherewith some reproach their Neighbours who have been possibly injurious to them that he forbids us to return them never so little tho they are giving us never so much but commands us not to rail and jeer at them that jeer and rail at us but to pray for our Enemies and to do good to those that spitefully use us God having instituted it as a Fundamental Law to Mankind not to do our Neighbours any harm in Body Goods or good Name but to do them all the good we can in every of them In short this is the sad and unequal deportment of most vain handsom Ladies both as to themselves and others which is to be angry with their Neighbours without a Cause and never to be angry at themselves tho they have one many of the vain Ladies esteeming it a sufficient ground of quarrel and anger at other young Ladies for being more handsom than they but forget at the same time to be offended at themselves for being less pious than them in not loving their Neighbours as themselves for if they did they would never offer what they would not take But so vain and wicked is our Age as common Custom and little Consideration makes many of the vain witty Ladies to fancy that Romantick Lies and detracting Jeers are but Wind which if granted yet it cannot be denied but the often repetition may unite them into a storm of sins for does not experience teach us that light flakes of Snow that singly scarce weigh any thing being but a kind of half congealed Atoms yet do often by their long united Confluence swell into an ability of destroying Houses and Families in spite of their greatest resistance Solomon says Prov. 16.27 That an ungodly Mans lips is as a burning fire and in the very next Verse seems to explain what he means by a burning fire a froward Man soweth strife and a whisperer separateth chief Friends as I said before how common is it among the vain Ladies of the times to lessen their handsom Neighbours beauty meerly on design that by Eclipsing it they might make their own shine out the Clearer and often to raise scandalous Reports to blemish her Reputation among her Friends and Lovers it being indeed too common a practice among them to whisper about ill Reports of their Neighbours as told them abroad from others when really they were Coin'd at home by themselves O vain Ladies if you will not for your own and shame sake at least for vertue and honour sake abandon raising all wicked scandals on your Neighbours and banish from your practice all impertinent senseless strifes all censuring twatles and sharp offensive scoffs which tho a mode vice is so great a Crime as it truly requires a strict Repentance and a high Reparation for the offence to the Persons so injured and that such scandalous Jeerers would for the future as David says Keep a Bridle in their Mouth that they offend not with their Tongue and so new mould and well regulate it as instead of using it as an Engine to rack their Neighbours Reputation with they may henceforward employ and consecrate it to the setting out and stretching forth their vertue and good name and let all your strife be in a pious Emulation of vertue and holiness and in religious endeavors who shall excel and take place in the true and constant practice of them in their lives and conversation for in them consists not only the greatest wisdom highest wit but also the best breeding and most sublime and splended beauty being the everlasting one of holiness besides that of pure honour indeed for Gospel Heraldry must ever be the very best for the greatest Monarch in this World must live a sinner but the mean est Woman in it by her living a godly and vertuous life may die a Saint and therefore it must certainly be much better to live well and so die happily than to be born great left rich or look handsom for the beauty of a fair delicate Complexion may be a Womans own purchase not Natures gift and her high Title and great Estate may be left her by her friends without being in the least merited by her self but to be highly pious and truly vertuous must most certainly be the true and lawful Issue of a Womans own Religious inclinations Therefore I shall conclude this Discourse with this undeniable Truth That true goodness is true greatness and that Lady will be the greatest in the other World that lives the best in this THE TENTH DISCOURSE Of French Fashions and Dresses now used in England by the modish Ladies and young Sparks DIvines tell us that perfect life may be seen in short measures and Painters assure us that exact beauty may be drawn in small proportions and experience shews us that an infinity of words is made of a few letters and 't is approv'd by the great Wits and Poets of the Stage that a short Prologue may suit well with a long Play and since I do not here pretend nor indeed so much as ambition to keep company with their great Wit I hope they will admit me to follow their short measures and by their example justifie this my small discourse from appearing very unsuitable to this large Theme Solomon in his Character of a Covetous Person says He is one whom God hath given riches and
perfect Antidote against horns for the time to come but a Remedy for what was past but one of his Neighbours being of a contrary belief call'd him Cuckold upon which he repaired to his learned Counsellor in the Law to know if his present Wife being honest though his former was not so whether he was still a Cuckold or not to which his learned Lawyer gravely answered him That tho he was not one in pure strictness of Law yet being once so the Custom of the Country was so civil as to give him the Title during his Life And now I have given you my opinion and told you the usual fate that attends old Mens Marrying young Women next comes that of young Womens Marrying old Men and tho they appear both alike foolish yet there 's great difference in their folly for as by this sort of Matches old Men glut themselves with much more of the Woman than their age wants so young Wives if vertuous stint themselves with much less of the Husband than their Youth needs and besides tho Marriage has the power tounite two Bodies into one Flesh yet it wants that of uniting the two Fleshes into one temper or Constitution for a young Wife that is in the Spring of her age is like the Sun in the Spring of the Year it not only gets the ascendant every day higher and higher but grows every day more strong and vigorous but an old Husband is like Autumn whose strength goes only downward Therefore I fancy an old Man Marrying a handsom young Lady has nothing to plead but Guilty but a young Lady for Marrying an old Man may have some colourable excuse to moderate the folly and lessen the shame of such an unequal Match for perhaps she 'll tell you she has heard a story which if as true as strange is a rare one That the reason that Stags live so very long is that when they find themselves to decay they swallow a live Serpent and as it consumes in their body they revive in their strength and Spirits So possibly a young Woman will say That she did not Marry an old Man for being rich in Years but Mony and because she found her Fortune decaying and almost quite decayed therefore she swallowed a Marriage with an old Man as the Stag does a Serpent in hopes that as her Husband consumes and dies in her bosom so she may revive in her sprightly gay humor and please her self with the delightful thoughts of the wealth he will leave her and the ways she will Intrigue to spend it in the fanciful hopes she has of suddenly gaining a young Husband suitable both to her Youth and aicry Inclinations There is another sort of Women but indeed their number is very small who being not handsom in their own opinion and therefore may be safely concluded very ugly in that of all others who to supply the defects of nature and age give out they are very rich and that they hope will make amends for all Gold being always young handsom and taking to all sorts of Men and Ages for Mony answers all things and by these reports of their Wealth tho often false they decoy young Fops who have lost their Annuity at Play or spent it in Debauchery to Court them for their fame of having much Mony and too eagerly press the Marrying them for it Swearing that they Love their persons more than their Mony valuing them a thousand times before it and no wonder that they that swear so commonly for nothing should now lye for much Mony for in real truth they only put the Widow before the Mony as we do in common speaking the Box before the Jewels which though first is altogether inconsiderable to the latter as only containing that Riches which it self makes no part of And many of these old rich Widows are so doatingly senseless that because their Mony Courters swear they are handsom they verily believe they are so and credit others words before their own eyes tho their spectacles are on which renders some so sottishly impudent as to tell their Gallants that tho their beauty is in the fall of the Leaf yet Autumn can breed Lovers as well as the Spring does when in truth an old withered Autumn face does but Chill the blood and dispirit the vigour of the most active and resolute Courtier and therefore a Spring beauty can only enflame the heart and tho possibly a young Man may be sometimes foolishly taken with an old Womans great wit good humor or rather greater riches yet 't is I think impossible he can be really in Love with her deform'd face person or age which must quench the fire of any amorous flames in a youthful or vigorous-heart Therefore I shall advise all such Women to be so prudent as to yield to the seasons of Age as they must to that of the Year and not hope to turn Winter into Summer or Autumn into Spring but instead of striving for what 's impossible yield to what 's reasonable and submit to these true Measures That Eighteen is the gay sprightly blossom age that a young Womans Life shines out in its brightest splendor and beauty That Thirty is the stale year of a Maid and the worst age of a Wife I mean that 's an ill one because a Wife at Thirty is old enough to be ugly and young enough to live long but a Woman that is so far advanced in years as the frigid Zone of Sixty ought in all reason to banish all vain Love thoughts as to the youthful pleasures of this world and to fix them on the other so as to live only in order to die imitating the good old Woman named in the Gospel Luke 2.37 Who kept in the Temple who fasted and prayed to God night and day Indeed it becomes old Women much better to frequent the Church with the good old Godly Matrons so renown'd for gravity and religion in former days than to visit the Park or the Play with their vain young Gallants lest their old Dress and Antick Faces should make Men say such a one is more fit to be a Spectacle than a Spectator wants good Mens Prayers rather than young Mens Praises and is more apt to create thoughts of Mortality than to raise motions of Love really I am of opinion that if 't were possible to turn beauty into the same nature of content that the little Kingdom of England would swarm now more with handsom Women than the Country of Palestine did ever with fighting Men of which Scripture makes mention of many hundred thousands for than every ugly Woman young or old as thought her self handsom as most do must be really handsom only for think it as well as all those that believe themselves Content must be Content or else they could not believe themselves so therefore all old and ugly Women that are not past all years of discretion tho they are of beauty should never strive for impossibilities
not hearken to the vain flatteries and praises of others but for one Year and 't will certainly cure them of that Devilish distemper of Pride for by one Twelve Months banishing it and conversing only with vertue and humility which are inseparable friends they will certainly make them so religiously prudent and happily vertuous as to hate and shun all proud desires and flatterers Praises and cause them to love only those that Court them in the holy Language of Truth to the Love of Godliness which is the very best way they can express their Love to you or you your Love to your selves and truly Ladies I cannot see the least reason why you should be against this holy change since it will not be a parting with nor so much as a Retrenching of your love delights but rather be a better means to enlarge and improve them by placing and fixing your mind on a much more noble object and a far finer entertainment by transplanting your affections into a far richer soil from Earth to Heaven from the fading vanities of this World to the never decaying felicities of the next and when once a young Ladies Inclinations are firmly rooted in a real desire and hearty endeavour for this blessed Change she will soon find that her Love will become so piously purified that instead of her fixing it on mortal Man she will only dedicate it to the service of the ever living God whose service is still true happiness and perfect freedom Then such a Lady will be happy above the low Region of all worldly flatterers and the more vain concerns of a fading beauty she 'll not value the rallying scoffs and contempts of those who deride her humble and strict deportment now so much out of fashion among the vain Ladies of our times for such a reformed Lady whose mind is truly sanctified will extract uses of vertue out of such extravagant Womens vanities like the Bee that sucks Hony out of all sorts of venomous Herbs and like Fire that turns all things within its compass to its self and such a Ladies holy course of Life will be steady and certain in its progress like the Sun in his daily motion nothing of Storms or changable weather can ever hasten or retard its regular course for a Lady that 's in the holy state of true Mortification her constant Piety will so purifie and draw off her inclinations from all vain pastimes and modish vanities and from those foul dregs of impurity that are the usual attendants of a vain idle London Life that by this Transfiguration of Mind and pious habit of Life her Conversation will be as the Apostle says fixed up in Heaven and we all know that the upper Region of the Air it self will admit of no Storms or Thunder for they are all formed below it And farther that Lady who is so blessed as to have her heart touch'd with this Magnetic vertue of true godliness her thoughts will be elevated to such a heavenly pitch of spiritual vertue and religion as she will despise all the young Gallants fine words deep sighs and languishing looks with all their high Praises and showers of Complements which will work no more on her sanctified Mind than showers of Hail on the tops of well covered Houses which fall off as soon as it falls on without ever touching any of the inward part And whereas our vain Ladies receive the extravagant encomiums and flatteries I might have almost said Adorations of their vain Gallants as the Lawful Issue of their own applauded Merit a truly pious Lady will only hearken to all the Airy Praises young Men ascribe to her beauty to be but the Bastard brood of their own abundant sin and folly and she will make such pious reflections on such young Mens overmuch praises grounded on a sense of her own unworthiness of them as she will not only despise their extravagant speeches but themselves for speaking of them which doubtless cannot but be very acceptable to God the searcher of all hearts who still giveth grace to the humble Therefore Ladies if you really desire true piety and humility I must advise you again and again never to hearken with delight or hear with belief or indeed suffer with patience but shun with diligence young Mens airy praises and Complements nor yet countenance their flatteries for multitude of Praises cannot but perplex young Ladies Minds as many Lights still confound the Sight and therefore when you hear young Men give their Tongues such loose liberties and over large ranges in magnifying your beauty remember such high Complemental expressions are to be trusted no more than the Christian Flag of a Turkish Pyrat which he only hangs out that you might esteem him your friend that thereby he may make you become his Slave Therefore Ladies keep still about you this preservative of your vertue that you look upon all the vain Gallants that Court you with high Complements and great praises to be but so many Judas's that come to betray you with a kiss and do not believe their Oaths either on the account of what they swear as to your great beauty or their own true Love for really flattery and vain praises are now grown such common Arts among fond Lovers as well as great States-men and Complemental Courtiers as we often meet the truth of their meaning in the contradiction of their words 7. My last concluding advise to the vain modish Ladies is when one of you is curiously beholding and admiring your fine Face in your Glass and find that the great beauty of it raises proud thoughts in your heart which is almost as common among handsom Ladies as 't is for them to look in their Glass which nothing can be more common humble your pride with these mortifying reflections that this very fine Face of yours that you like so much love so well and are so taken with and fond of must unavoidably in a little time become loathsom rottenness stink and corruption turn odious either to be seen or smelt which is as very certain as mortality it self and death you know is not only sure to meet you but you are exposed by a thousand accidents to meet it whilst you are travelling in this Earchly Pilgrimage for the spritely gaiety of your blossom youth can only let you know how long you may possibly live but can give no advance security how long you certainly will therefore young Ladies as well as old Men ought still to march under the safe Conduct of a vertuous Life and not to trust to the temptation of a long Life but to rely only on the blessed security of a good one I shall conclude this Discourse and Book with the good saying of an excellent religious person That the vainest beauty on Earth cannot justly deny this great Truth that beauty is not absolutely necessary to the good of this Life but that Piety is essentially necessary both to the good of this Life and the next too since one may live well without beauty but one can neither live or die well without Piety FINIS