because hee is faithfull As we haue heard so we haue seene as wee haue beleeued so wee haue spoken and borne witnesse to the truth Once the Lord did speake and it was doon Hee saide My counsaile shall stand but yours shall come to naught ô yee sonnes of men Wo vnto them which imagine euill and afterward make a scoffe at the word of God! Wo vnto you which doo faigne a religion out of your owne braine and are exalted in your owne power Heare the word of the Lord yee which serue the Lord knowe yee that he hath a controuersie with the inhabitants of the earth To turne awaie your selues it is not good stand yee therefore and consider his waies Returne you and come vnto him so will he ioiefullie receaue you into fauor for the Lord is gratious and mercifull He keepeth not his anger as man dooth but pardoneth all sinnes yea and moreouer he restoreth the former grace with the later Onlie returne you with all your harts and dedicate your selues wholie and vnfeinedlie to his seruice Thus doo the sancts speake in mine eares That which musick is at a banquet and sweete smelling frankincense in a censar euen that is the word of God in a pure hart And thy sancts Lord filled with thy spirit haue thus sounded forth the memorie of thine abundant sweetenes and haue lest their words vnto vs to be sounded abroade But my speech often-time is stopped so that it hath no passage to ascend But if that fire come from aboue then shal my toong be hot and if it once be enflamed I shall forth-with be consumed I shall not be able to stand in the presence thereof for as the winde driueth awaie chaffe so shall sorow be expelled from the hart And as the rust by the fire so shal my sinnes be consumed The fire of God which consumeth all things shall sweep the floore of mans hart Descende and get vp tuch me a little and I shall flee Things passed shall be as though theie had neuer been and that to come shall not be accompted of for all sinnes shall vtterlie be forgotten Old things shall passe awaie new shall come abundantlie holie desires shall encrease and rise vp on all sides wheresoeuer the good spirit shall blowe Feare shall depart loue shall possesse the harts of all all affliction shall cesse for this alteration is by the hand of God Therefore that which I saie is not to mine owne but to his praise The pensiue hath comfort the hungrie bread the thirstie drinke The sick is healed the wauering assisted the weake strengthened the wearie quieted the hopelesse comforted the complainer pittied To the blinde sight to the wandering a readie waie to the knocker the gate is opened He which doubted is now resolued hee which staggered is nowe strengthened hee that diligentlie enquired is now entertained ioiefullie by mother charitie The freend commeth more ioiefullie to meete than is the soule desirous to speake with him L. Lo now am I present saith he saie on what new thing hath fallen out What haue you forgotten what you are to suffer and to doo for my sake B. Yet this staied mee not being desirous to go forward with him So straight-waie I mounted aloft and forgat all mine affliction Hee would not by and by discomfort the partie so longing to abide with him but with gentle words he said that in due time it should bee performed L. Thy desire is good and request vnto mee dooth like mee well notwithstanding it maie not presentlie be graunted Go thy waie and get home to thine owne house and declare to thine acquâ—intâ—nce what the Lord hath doon for thee Saie vnto them Prepare your harts euerie one of you and laie downe the heauie burden of sinne and bee yee warie and strong to resist the snares of Satan Watch and praie least yee fall into tentation I will come shortlie looke that I finde you readie Lo I haue warned you aforehand CHAP. 12. 1. The desire of the soule after God 2. The properties of God by the sondrie titles ascribed vnto him 3. None commeth vnto God vnlesse God draweth him SAie vnto my soule I am thy saluation O of what excellencie art thou my soule what wonderfull virtue is hidden in thee that thou canst neuer bee at rest vntill thou haue attained perfect happines and found the last end which thou so desirest which once being knowen and found out the care is gone Oah happines aboue all happines ô end without end when shall I both without measure and euerlastinglie enioie thee I finde manie good things in this world But theie continue not neither doo theie satisfie my desire But one thing is necessarie This one thing is that I seeke this oâ—e thing I desire For one thing are all things and of one thing are all things If I â—et this thing I shall be coâ—â—ent but if I enioie it not I shall continuallie be tossed because manie things cannot satisfie mee What is this one thing I am not able to saie what it is sure I am I desire that than which nothing either is or maâ—e be imagined either better or greater For this is not one thing among manie things but one thing aboue all things And it is my God to whome if I stick I shall doo well To him I saie to him I 〈◊〉 when I saie Saie vnto my soule I am thy saluation O my soule my longing soule what more desirest thou Is it not better for thâ—e to cleaâ—e vnto one thing than vnto manie things Of one thing are manie things but one thing is not of manie things Cesse to seeke manie things ioine thee to one stick vnto one for in one thing all things consist Let others enquire after manifold and diuers outward things but doo thou seeke one inward good thing and it is sufficient Lo this man seeketh a farme that man traueleth about his marchandise another heapeth vp much gold and siluer another hunteth after pleasures and preferment another visiteth his freends and kinred another is merie with his acquaintance another rideth vnto cities and castles another doth long to see diuers contries of the world another desireth wisedome another preferment another principalitie another a kingdome and thus one wisheth one thing another man another thing euen aswell among the spirituall sort as among the secular But fewe doo seeke one thing and other things purelie and simplie for one thing And therefore theie neither doo finde anie sure peace nor yet sauor the inward grace of the spirit For so manie as are the seruants of Christ doo couet not temporall not earthlie things as though they were then iolie and glorious felows if theie abunded therewith What then wilt thou saie that the things which theie seeke for doo touch thee ô deuout soule in truth thou canst not For my part I detest all these things for my good
and neuer turneth aside the eies of his heart from his Sauiour but continuallie seeketh the things which are pleasing in his eies For hee shall walke in peace and equitie and no stranger shall participate of his pleasure Hee shall well perceaue that his rest is good and taste how sweete his Lord God is in whome hee trusteth Hee shall set him far from outward tumults and with hartie desire expect his prosperous comming Lo thus worketh the Lord in his elected vessels Hee which commeth vnto him shall not returne emptie awaie for cheerefullie hee bestoweth vpon the thirstie drinke and bread vpon the hungrie O my God when thou enterest into the house of the soule which loueth thee wilt thou not feede her with thy milke yea and bring her sometime beside her selfe through thine abundant sweetnes to the taking of thee without anie corporall similitude O truth truth of what force and power is loue Then wilt thou speake thy word to her all secretlie and show the things that shall bee and haue bin in most happie charitie and fruition where the words of man shall no more bee heard From thenceforth thou wilt cause her no whit to doubt anie more of eternall rest and of the felowship of sancts but now by differring the token of speciall grace thou makest her the more able to hope for the things she seeth not and to despise present things which by sense shee comprehendeth O mercifull God bee mindfull of mee a poore begger euen of thy great mercie and send the true bread from heauen thy good word so full of comfort and grace CHAP. 11. 1. That all comfort and pleasures are in God 2. A praier that all people may glorifie the Lord. 3. The blessed state of good men 4. That wee are to be readie against the comming of our Sauiour Christ. ALl my bones shall saie Lord who is like vnto thee There is one and like to him there is none euen my GOD it is to whome whatsoeuer is compared is nothing My God is entirelie to be loued and a most faithfull frend which neâ—er forsaketh the soule that loueth â—im but continuallie abideth with â—er for companie And if sometime â—e hide himselfe and suffer her to be â—roobled it is not doon of him to deâ—troie but to trie her to purge her and to instruct her So that euen â—hen he forsaketh not but the more â—iselie instructeth that euerie one maie see what hee is of himselfe and how far hee is come forward in religion O my beloued thou art all faire and louelie but not to the flesh but to the minde not to the eie or sense but to the faithfull soule to him which hath a pure heart to him which is altogether addicted vnto things inuisible and spirituall So that who so desireth to be vnited to thee by a religious affection he must of necessitie mortifie in himselfe all fleshlie motions and aboue all reteine a pure conscience For thou art much displeased then when a man doth goe vnto fraile crreatures to seeke consolation And therefore thou callest me inwardlie to loue thee and thou commandest that I wait for thee for then I shall finde thee when I doo humble my selfe and wish that which thou wilt And this shall be all my felicitie euen freelie to serue thee neither dreading anie losse nor seeking anie gaine because thou allowest that soule which pure lie dooth loue Oah blessed is hee which both in life and death sticketh onlie to thee But as for mee I am far-awaie cast oftentimes from thy fauor by louing and that both inordinatelie and vndiscreetelie transitorie things But that I maie not perish with them I with all speede will returne and behold in them thy glorie and direct all my cogitations to thee wâ—rd O my Lord and God which of nothing hast made all things giue mee grace for all things to praise thy name For all power wisedome goodnes and mercie is thine thine also is euerlasting glorie and maiestie Thy kingdome is an euerlasting kingdome and thy dominion endureth throughout all ages Thou orderest all things both things aboue and things in earth Thou knowest all things and possessest all things nothing dooth resist or trouble thee but quietlie thou rulest the world and makest the rebellious to stoup and to serue Thou art priuie of all things which are doon in the world and before theie were doon thou knewest their endes Thou art the God both of heauen and earth the creator of things visible and inuisible the gouernor of the whole world and the disposer of the seasons O blesse thy seruants I beseech thee dispersed far and wide ouer the world yet seruing thee most religiouslie Make them constantlie to sound forth thy praise and in all places with one voice to glorifie thy name Stir vp their harts firmelie to loue thee and grante that all their enterprises maie take a good ende Oah how gratious and how good art thou to such as loue thee how sweete art thou to them which taste thee Theie which haue felt thy sweetnes knowe thereby the better how both to thinke and speake For thy sweetnes surpasseth all sweetnes and thy pleasures doo sweeten all bitternes O Lord my God holie men haue spoken and Prophets haue talked of thee All the godlie from the worlds beginning haue beleeued in thee haue serued thee haue glorified thee both with sacrifices and oblations theie haue praised and blessed thine holie name because theie haue both acknowledged thee to bee the creator and maker of the vniuersall world and also trusted in thee aboue all things Theie haue knowen thee in their visions for thou hast reuealed thy name to them and beside thee they knewe no God Theie obserued the lawe of thy commandements which thou gauest them Theie folowed not the foolish imaginations of false Gods but they worshipped thee which liuest for euer the creator of all things Theie lifted vp their voice to thee with thankesgeuing because from on high thou soundest in their eares saieng I am that I am Before mee there was no God formed neither shall there bee after mee I haue ordained the things which shall be and I forget not whatsoeuer is past This when theie heard and vnderstood theie cast the eies of their faith a far off beleeuing that God will saue vs and that he which shall come will come and will not tarie Knowing these things afore hand theie were not a litle comforted and maruelouslie astonished at the presence of the glorie to come theie fainted But afterward comming by litle and litle to themselues and with ioie beholding the power of God approching theie said Hee is euen hee is the Lord our God and wee haue none other Hee hath taken vs and hee will saue vs. Hee cannot denie himselfe
in exile that I haue not deserued to enioie thee nor to see thee face to face Grant mee to enioie the long desired ioie which no time shall ende nor troubles ouershadowe Show mee thy countenance which the angels continuallie do behold Let thy voice bee heard in mine eares which they without cessing doo heare Come Lord Iesu and take mee out of this forreine contrie call mee wretch home vnto my contrie and restore mee a sinner vnto my former puritie Come gratious Redeemer make mee partaker of thine eternall glorie It is hie time that I returne vnto thee it is now time that I commend my bodie to the earth whereout it was taken The matter is not great where the bodie be laide or how it be handled if so be the soule be safe and come vnto thee Let my spirit doo well which I commend into thine hands and let my flesh rest in hope to be raised vp againe in the last daie For wheresoeuer it be buried it can neuer bee far or hid from thee Remooue mee from the companie of men and ioine mee to the societie of thy saincts For this temporall life is irkesome to mee but to thinke of the daie of eternall glorie reioiceth mine heart Oah let not the olde serpent withstand mee at my departure out of Aegypt let not the enimie barke against mee in the gate let neither Satan with his ouglie sight terrefie nor the horror of death trooble mee but let thine holie angels faithfullie assist stoutlie aide valiantlie protect louinglie receiue and ioiefullie bring mee vnto the euerlasting felicitie of thy celestiall paradise And mercifull louelie and blessed Iesu doo thou gratiouslie I beseech thee behold mee and cast mee not out of the number of thy seruants but remember ô Sonne of God how thou hast redeemed mee with thy pretious blood Receaue mee into glorie and that in thy mercie and goodnes because greatlie haue I wished to solemnize a passeouer with thee Oah happie daie of my desired reward Come blessed houre of blessed passage which long I haue desired and kept before mine eies What now haue the troobles and afflictions in the world hurt mee What am I the woorsse for the contempt labor and humiliation for thy name sake Thou hast bin my life and now death will be to me an aduantage and to be with thee in thy kingdome will be absolute felicitie Now praise and glorie be to thee who art the life of such as liue the hope of those which die the saluation and rest of all which trust in thee CHAP. 8. A meditation of one dead vnto the world yet aliue in Christ. TVrne awaie mine eies from regarding vanitie Oah Iesu which art the true life which neuer shall haue an ende geue mee grace that through loue of thee I may bee consumed through loue wounded through loue killed that the flesh preuaile not ouer mee I am not as yet thoroughlie dead to the world but the old man yet liueth in mee raising vp within me much contention and desires of manifold euils and making the nightes bitter and the daies tedious vnto mee Oah when will it fall out that boldlie I may saie I thought my selfe as a dead man For hee which dead is doth waie neither the praises of men nor the reproches of the malignant because he is dead Hee which touching the flesh is dead neither speaketh nor smelleth nor tasteth nor exerciseth anie worke yea he neither heareth also the vanitie of this world againe he regardeth not curious and bewtifull things enticing vnto the loue of some vile thing vpon earth And hee which is dead to the world is not in the world but in God to whome hee liueth euen as Paule to the beloued disciples doth saie yee are dead and your life is hid with Christ in God This man doth so speake so thinke so behold things without as though they were not For the things which are seene are temporall and vane but the things which are not seene are eternall Hether doth hee cast his eie hether doth hee hasten hether is his desire for these things doth hee labor to attaine these things is all his studie These things hee wisheth these things hee loueth these things hee seeketh these things hee sauoreth euen which are within and secret to wit great good things soueraigne and eternall things of which hee cannot thinke too often because theie are exceeding pretious and sweete and delectable and more than vtterable This man is far estranged from present things and breatheth altogether after things eternall hauing the dominion ouer the sensuall appetite For the flesh seeketh outward desireth pleasant loueth present loatheth absent flieth all sharp and bitter things which notwithstanding are good for the soule Whence it commeth that it will not suffer the spirit to be at rest but laieth before it sundrie phantasies which are scarse to be spoken and in truth not to be accompted of But hee which is endued with the grace of spirituall fortitude maie with more ease subdue the insolent motions of the flesh singing in the word of the diuine power The Lord is with mee therefore I will not feare what flesh can doo vnto mee Therefore albeit this sensualitie doth moue battell and the voice of the flesh doth secretlie murmur yet doth not the spirituall man easelie consent for greater is the force of the diuine loue which inwardlie doth comfort This man now and then so sweetlie so stronglie and so earnestlie is drawen rauished and in loue with God that scarselie hee doth see and perceaue the things about him and be heard in the world because he is not there but else-where not belowe but aloft euen with God and in God which moueth the spirit within him and erecteth and as it were carrieth it awaie in a firie chariot that at the length it maie enioie him in an happie and holie and long wished desire of his hart This man is sildome found idle abroade because his freende hath borne him awaie There quietlie and alone hee heareth his speech euen the speech of his beloued and greatlie doth reioice to heare the voice of his vnsuspected spouse Neither straight-waie doth he cas◠his phiall vpon the ground to draw◠vp vanitie but hideth the founde◠treasure and shutteth it vnder loc◠and keie that the foote of pride com◠not in and so all virtue doo perish◠For thus he saith to him Set mee a◠a seale on thine heart and so forth as i◠followeth in that place It is good to seale the heart and to keepe it least the beloued goe back and flie awaie because hee seeketh and visiteth aboue all a pure and an humble heart These things hee thinketh with himselfe and is astonished at that good thing which passeth all sense and gifts Yea still hee wandereth and enquireth diligētlie what thing is this and exceedinglie reioiceth for
and comfort is and resteth in the price of thy pretious blood wherein I doo wholie repose my selfe and deeme it requisite that I should doo so together with all which I haue doon offended deserued and omitted And therefore behold most gratious Iesu my basenes and humilitie consider the affection of mine hart which I beare toward thee not for my merits but for thy mercie sake which vouchsafest to be loued euen of the vnworthie In respect of mine vnworthines I am greatlie ashamed to come in thy presence but I am drawen-on and emboldened through your wonderfull goodnes and humilitie which hast in perfect good wil yeelded not onlie to become man but also to suffer die and to be buried for my sake and therefore vnto thee doo I make recourse for I finde no goodnes in my selfe Supplie that for my sake which of my selfe I cannot performe Thou hast giuen mee a desire to praie vnto thee to praise to blesse thee because thou art mine hope and my portiō in the land of the liuing Al my desire is to be with thee in the kingdom of heauen but inasmuch as my time is not yet come I will waite vntill the night approch In the meane while this maie bee my comfort in the place of my pilgrimage that I am mindfull of thy name and of thine exceeding great loue and that I behold thee in this life by the eies of my faith To liue in this world and yet to repose no trust in thee ô Lord were a thing intollerable to my soule I doo not consent to reioice with the world and that I maie not abide without ioie and comfort I haue determined to place my ioie in thee Much and often should I goe astraie greatlie should I be tossed in cogitations did I not reteine thee fast in my minde and thoughts And for somuch as I am vnable to sound the depth of thy diuinitie I thinke it best for mee to turne vnto the deedes and saiengs of thine humanitie because being in these cogitations I swarue not altogether from thy diuinitie Thankes bee to thee good Iesu sweete and louelie Iesu for vouchsafing to become my brother to take my flesh and bones vpon thee Thankes I saie to thee for entering into the wombe of good Marie thy Mother of whose maidenlie flesh thou tookest the holie members of thy bodie which thou didest vnite to thy diuine nature CHAP. 23. A godlie Praier and commendation of our Sauior Christ. NOtwithstanding I am wicked and guiltie of manifold sins yet haue I great hope of saluation because of thy suffering and merits whereof as I haue a good minde to consider so graunt ô my Lord Christ that I maie with good leaue so doo For who am I to approch nigh vnto thee vnlesse I haue licence I knowe mine vnwoorthines to appeare in his presence whome the verie angels doo worship with great reuerence saieng Who is this that commeth out of the wildernes of this world so abunding in pleasure Therefore ô moste blessed Sauiour I am far vnmeete to thinke of thy glorie and honor of thy bewtie and magnificence because I am earth and ashes yea more base am I then earth and ashes because I am sinfull and proane vnto all wickednes But thou beeing made hier than heauen hast the whole world vnder thy feete and art worthie to be praised and honored for euermore Howbeit of thine vnspeakeable goodnes which passeth all vnderstanding I am drawen in affection vnto thee because thou art the comfort of the comfortlesse and vsest most willinglie to helpe most miserable sinners I acknowledge how I am not onlie destitute of all comforrt especiallie of thy fauor but also verie vnable to doo good vnto my selfe But mercifull Iesus wouldest thou vouchsafe to consider my basenes then should I both be aided and comforted most plentifullie in this my trooble Therefore I see well whensoeuer I am compassed about with affliction and tentation I am straight-waie and without feare to flie vnto thee for where mercie is moste readie there grace is in greatest plentie And when I haue a good minde to consider of thy most glorious estate and to commend thee in moste honorable manner I must come foorth with a much purer affection and maie not goe forwarde with-out the conduction of Gods heauenlie light Assuredlie he shall haue no glorie but shame that presumeth without all reuerence to approch vnto thy gate And he which commeth thereinto must proceede with all reuerence and humilitie ioined with good hope that hee maie finde grace to be admitted Wherefore both humblie and reuerendlie and deuoutlie and boldlie I goe to thee-ward Let the godlie louer of thy name listen then what I saie The heauen reioiceth the earth woondereth when by faith mine hart saith Christ is my Sauior Satan flieth hell trembleth when my conscience crieth Christ is my Sauior The world waxeth vile and the flesh humble when as a Christian dooth saie Christ is my Sauior Sorowe departeth newe comfort approacheth when my minde pronounceth Christ is my Sauior Slothfulnes vanisheth mine hart through loue fainteth when zelouslie I can saie Christ is my Sauior Zeale encreaseth compunction ariseth hope groweth comforte waxeth strong when my soule soundeth Christ is my Sauior Mine harte is iocund mine affection becommeth sounde when in truth I do saie Christ is my Sauior For such is the force of these words vttered of a faithfull soule that no man is able to expresse the same in wordes but still it resteth more hie and excellent than maie be reached vnto by the wit of man Which maketh mee once againe most humblie to bowe my knees vnto thee ô blessed Sauior and still I saie ô Christ my Sauior O most gratious Iesu receaue my praier and mee with it that I maie finde some-what that maie like thee well and embolden mee and kindle my zeale and keepe mee euermore in continuall praising of thine holie Name Oah that for the satisfieng my desire to praise and to praie vnto thee from the verie bottome of mine hart both all my members were forthwith conuerted into tongues and those tongues into firie voices that I might finde a waie to glorifie thee my Sauiour world without ende Oah that for all my sins wherewith I haue deserued thine indignacion offended greeuouslie thy Father and dishonored thee with all the hoste of heauen I might once so thoroughlie bewaile and repent that I might heereafter take a newe trade of life to thy glorie and the comforte of my soule Oah that thou woldest assist mee in well doing seeing my life fraile and I all subiect to offending Oah pardon and forgiue all my sins either wilfullie or negligentlie committed all my vaine thoughtes my vngodlie speech my abhominable deedes O most gratious Iesu I saie doo thou both defend mee from doing anie wickednes hereafter and forgiue I praie thee all my sins forepast so shall I be both the more deuout the more
that Manna is come downe from heauen And hee which ministreth true bread from heauen doth giue also a good vnderstanding to the taster that hee maie knowe how euerie good giuing and euerie gift is from aboue and commeth downe from the father of lightes This word now saith hee is from God Without him there is nothing I haue all things from him Furthermore this spirituall man hee woondereth and lamenteth that hee so lightlie esteemeth so excellent a good thing by the which hee is not a little blessed and whie also he dooth not oftener bend his heart to heare and to see that than the which nothing is more sweete and blessed to be desired And would to God hence-forth I might thus doo For this exceedinglie dooth delight mee and more will delight mee the more I giue my selfe vnto these meditations Oah that my beloued would come into mine heart that I might taste the sweetnes of his apples Oah that hee would decline vnto mee and showe himselfe to mee and mee to himselfe Hee is my felicitie and mine onlie delight Now begin I to couet and desire and greatlie to loue this good thing in whome all good things are this ioie in whome is all ioie this one thing in whome are all things small and great base and hie yet nothing created but without all conceipt of man the beginning and the ende of all the good things which hee hath formed Hence it is that now and then I would thoroughlie bee replenished with this good thing and filled with that so heauenlie ioie and I couet after a sort euen to be swallowed vp and consumed vtterlie of him that mine insatiable desire might once be satisfied in such sort that nothing in mee might bee mine but his onlie whose the fire and heate of loue is whose this woonderfull worke is also that so I might the more greedilie be carried to himâ—ward and be made one spirit together with him Notwithstanding all this doth not puffe vp the godlie man or make him to thinke himselfe some-what or to despise others or to iudge inferiors for hee knoweth that whatsoeuer hee hath commeth not of himselfe but it is the free gift of God that thereby hee is not to waxe proude when hee perceaueth himselfe to be so comforted of the Lord. For hee seeketh not the praise of man he careth not for foraine fauor but hee seeketh the beloued his praise and his fauor hee onlie desireth in whome hee hath all things and shall finde more than all these things because hee preferreth his loue his sweetenes and the ioiefull enioieng of him before all transitorie things and his honor hee seeketh and sigheth for aboue all things else And therefore he cannot be proude nor boast of anie thing God hee is his glorie his praise and his comfort God euen hee is his true and perfect ioie his soueraigne and sole happines all his desire and perfection And which more is hee would haue others also thus to reioice with him and to enioie such felicitie without ende both in this world and in heauen too For this is his desire and praier that God would reueale himselfe to all men and that hee would vouchsafe to conuert and drawe all vnto him that he alone might be praised and glorified for hee is both loue it selfe and such a fountaine of loue as neuer can be drawen drie For hee dooth more loue all men than all men set together can loue him Notwithstanding it liketh him well if anie man haue a desire to loue him from the botome although hee cannot sounde vnto the depth For hee in louing deuoureth vanquisheth and surpasseth all CHAP. 9. A desire of the Soule that no earthlie creature maie carrie her awaie vnto vanitie BEhold I would take my flight far off and lodge in the mountaines Oah how profitable how sweete and how ioiefull a thing is it to sit solitarilie in silence to talke with God and to enioie the onlie good thing in which are all good things Would to God I were so conioined to that all simple and onlie good thing that I might be moued with none affections and distractions of transitorie things nor curiouslie fasten mine eies vpon anie creature and visible thing O wretched man that I am who shall deliuer from the bodie of this death Alas how often dieth my soule for the creatures which she loueth oah manie times she forgetteth her creator and is carried awaie for their sakes Mine vnstable minde now willeth this thing now that thing now it is heere now there seeking but not finding rest in creatures because there is no creature which can yeeld full satietie to be enioied though it hath some delectation for vse The heart of man is vnsearchable and who can knowe it O Lord thou knowest the thoughts of men that they are vane O eternall God most hie and infinite the creator and gouernor of all things I am thy creature which thou hast made by thy power Thou hast made mee that I should loue thee and gladlie would I loue thee but I cannot as I would For I am fettered with vane loue and with clammie affections of transitorie things from which while I would rid my selfe hardlie or not at all can I so doo without great paine Oah how soone would theie flie and perish if thou Christ wert sweet and didest â—auor in my nostrels Notwithstanding sometime through the sight of the minde I doo behold thine inuisible things by the creation of the world and thee also the soueraigne felicitie the true and eternall God And gladlie would I continue in these meditations but forthwith I knowe not with what winde I am blowen awaie from them and helde downe like a miser by the loue and waight of visible things Behold I firmelie doo purpose in mine hart as it were making a couenant betweene mee and thee that for thy noble and pretious loue I will neither loue nor looke vpon anie creature but will contemne all things yea my selfe and all mine but straight-waie worldlie fleshlie and familiar cogitations doo ascend into mine heart as though in them were a certaine felicitie and as though if I contemned them I were to forgo some great good thing and these beare a good countenance but they hide the wofull ende showing what is present but hiding the inconuenience that will ensue as though euerie-where and in all creatures thou art to be sought and that nothing were to be neglected or despised which hath bin made of my God and thus they withdrawe mee oftentimes fro my purpose and at the length vtterlie seduce mee Oah how vane and deceiptfull and almost nothing are thinges which now stand and florish proued to bee which flieng awaie after their sudden ioies doo leaue mee among the thornes and briars of a guiltie conscience But woe is mee Lord yea woe againe to mee because so soone I haue beleeued and
assented to vanitie and so quicklie forsaken thee which art the truth Oah how greatlie haue I sinned euen in this that I haue not sticken to thee alone neglecting all things else For I was made to loue and to enioie thee but by following after creatures inordinatelie I haue lost thee and found no rest for mine hart in them neither But turne mee vnto thee ô Lord and leaue me not in earthlie things thou which hast vouchsafed to promise celestiall things to such as folowe thee CHAP. 10. 1. A comparison betweene earthlie and heauenlie ioies 2. with a praier for grace to contemne this transitorie world MY soule hath refused comfort Wander thou not after deceiptfull vanities madnes ô my soule but turne vnto the Lord thy God for hee is the fountaine of all comfort Whatsoeuer thou seekest either among men or among creatures thou shalt leese it and shalt well perceaue it to perish For though I graunt theie maie yeeld some showe of comfort yet sure I am nothing dooth continue Whie so vanelie wilt thou bee deceaued It is egregious follie to beg of a begger when he that is rich will giue abundantlie Euerie creature is but poore to minister comfort vnto vs but God which is rich in mercie giueth to all men liberallie and reprocheth no man if thou for thy part diligentlie doo seeke and patientlie expect his leisure Returne ô my Soule returne downe vnto Noah in the arke euen vnto Christ in thine heart because it is not good to abide long abroade See thou refuse outward comfort if inwardlie thou wilt be refreshed Doo not thou with the crowe abide without the arke but with speede auoide the carcase Returne thou an hungred and Christ so will feede thee with the bread of life If vrgent necessitie or weakenes hold thee abroade take heed thou make no staie but with speede get thee home least thou be either ouerwhelmed with the flud of words or comprehended in the snares of diuelish tentation Manie traps are laid for the wandering soule and great safetie hath the quick returning dooue which not finding where to set her foote made haste to come back vnto Noah in the ship Go thou therefore vnto thy secret place and abide there yea let it bee a griefe for thee to bee else-where Oah blessed is the soule which hath a cleare conscience before God and is not delighted with anie vane thing which is neither polluted with louing anie thing nor wearied with extremelie hating anie man Blessed is the soule that seeketh no comfort of creatures but fixeth all her hope in the Lord Blessed is the soule which refuseth all outward and temporall quietnes and whatsoeuer belongeth vnto the welfare of the bodie and which for the loue of Christ dooth willinglie embrace both paine and pouertie Blessed is the soule which commendeth her selfe to God that hee maie doo with her euen as hee thinketh good Blessed is the soule which at no time seeketh her owne glorie which desireth at no time to haue her owne will doon but continuallie mindeth loueth and preferreth the glorie and will of God aboue all things Blessed is the soule which dooth esâ—ange her selfe from whatsoeuer is temporall and keepeth her selfe pure and vndefiled before God in all her dealings O reioice and be thou much glad thou which art such a soule for thou maist abide in secret and celestiall cogitations and so magnifie the Lord daie and night Blessed and blessed againe is the soule whose desires are to heauen-ward whose hands and armes are out-stretched euen as the two wings of the Cherubims whose eies are pure to behold God whose inward power and strength dooth goe altogether and ascend and returneth not vntill it haue him whome onlie she loueth before all things And when she hath found him she foloweth him whether soeuer hee will haue her And when he speaketh he reioiceth to heare her make answere saieng I am thine onlie beloued of thee elected I am thine exceeding great reward Bee thou neither proude in prosperitie nor impatient in aduersitie Consider how theie which loue mee are comforted of mee How sweetelie thinkest thou I will entreate them when theie shall be receaued vnto the eternall rest after that the troobles of the bodie and soule are laide aside Oah that I enioied such pleasure as dooth the holie soule when the senses beeing asleepe shee is carried aloft and eleuated aboue her selfe beloued and coopled to God by the bonde of most hartie frendship O my God which art the treasure of mine heart thou knowest right well how this would bee the onlie comfort of mine inward griefe But thou art the geuer and the pourer in of this ointment Thou teachest thou exhortest thou cherishest thou comfortest thou carriest thou vpholdest thou guidest out and bringest back thou doost with the soule whome thou hast chosen euen as thou wilt and whatsoeuer thou doost and wilt it is all good But I who am as a sowre vessell altogether vnworthie to receaue th'infusion of thy good spirit doo humblie craue that plentifullie it maie so spout forth vpon mee that I maie both taste the sweetenes of thine inward loue and also perceaue those sacred pleasures the which I doubt not the religious soule dooth feele by thy grace I did smell the celestiall perfumes a far off when I did meditate certaine inward cogitations of the minde concerning the soule but Lord thou knowest how sildome how litle I doo thinke of eternall things how often words doo wither how rude the vnderstanding how vnquiet the conscience how my hart is troobled darkened and irreligious and onlie through mine owne default Notwithstanding sometime seeking a waie vnto spirituall matters hauing taken my cogitations with mee in secret I begin seriouslie to call into my remembrance the good things of the blessed soule how great are the celestiall ioies and spirituall delightes which are in her heart what peace what tranquilitie what hope and reioicing in God her Sauiour whose words be sweete and face bewtifull And these cogitations though short theie endure yet when theie come blessed is the houre And I thus thinking and thou enlightening my darkenes I doo finde iust complaints vpon my selfe and by priuie holes of grace I perceaue how such and such is the soule inwardlie vnited vnto thee and thaâ— so and so thou hast spoken to her She is still from all things sensible and thou in the spirit speakest to her of inuisible matters She seemeth as it were to be forsaken of all creatures and after an vnspeakeable manner thou doost comfort her So that I said againe in mine hart wo to the sinfull soule to the grieued conscience to the man which is neither hote nor colde destitute of the light of grace and of spirituall comfort seeking teares and yet finding none But peace be to him which vnfeinedlie dooth loue Christ