Love and Fear but I must to my Post as if I were not at all concern'd Exeunt Ambo Enter Serious and Julia. Serious I hope Madam you will pardon my Rudeness among the rest for keeping you up so late last night I had not been with them but only to behold your Beauty Julia. Now I am sure you flatter me but that 's the way of the Men now-adays and you and I will be in the Fashion Enter Modish Modish All Happiness attend you Madam I was passing by your Door and could do no less than give Sir Peter my Thanks but understand he is not within Julia. Nor his Lady neither they are both abroad Modish Taking their mornings Walk A Loving Couple love to be together Enter Stephen in the Habit of an Apparitor Stephen Is Mr. Serious here Pardon my Rudeness Madam I found the Door open and was informed he was here Serious What 's your Business with him Friend Enter Lettice Stephen I have a little private business to him Are you the Man Sir Serious I am so what 's your Want Stephen Please to walk aside my Message is quickly deliver'd pulls out the Summons I am order'd to leave that with your Worship that 's all Serious I 'le send an Answer by you Where may I see you by and by Stephen I am just now going to the New Bell to take Horse for London I am in hast Time is precious with me now Exit Serious I 'le go with you Madam a good Morning to you I have a little earnest Business must be dispatch'd Julia. That must not be neglected I wish you good Success in your Affairs Serious Your Servant Madam Good Morrow Mr. Modish Exit Modish E'ne Sir a good Riddance of a troublesome Companion I think him so Julia. And I am of your Opinion I am a year the older methinks for this little I have had of his Company Modish I am for Company agreeable that is I would have the Aged with those like themselves declining People the Melancholy with those who are Enemies to Mirth and the youthful with the brisk and airy for by this equal sorting of Company all Parties would be satisfied For as Water savours most of the last Mineral it ran through so we retain the Remembrance of the last Company we converse withal Julia. What a Consternation of Spirit he was in Sure the Messenger brought him some unwelcome News Modish If we may judge of the Cause by the Effects there 's no contradicting what your Ladyship hath said for he seem'd to be in a great Agony Lettice He was loth to leave you Madam but was constrained to it against his Inclination Julia. Dissembling Hypocrite would make the World believe that all he does and says is just and honest when he means nothing less he sets a guilded Outside to the World when all within is Rottenness and Stench Modish Madam I find you have a piercing Eye and can discern with Ease 'twixt Truth and Falsehood There 's that within you that 's Divine and Sacred and therefore not to be imposed upon Julia. Be we as careful as we can we are sometimes outwitted by those we least suspect Modish But we lose Time more precious than the Wealth of both the Indies while we discourse of such dissembling Wretches and may imploy it to much better purpose now Opportunity presents it self and Fortune's obliging to lend us thus much Time and Privacy Julia. You are now a Sphere above my Apprehension I am much too young to comprehend deep Mysteries be plain in what you say that I may understand your Meaning Modish Ah Madam I want Words to tell my Story and let you know the great Esteem and Veneration I have for your person but could you draw aside my fleshly Curtain and view your fair Idea where 't is seated within my Breast above my power or skill to raze out or demolish perhaps you would have some kind Resentments then and bear Compassion for your suffering Slave Julia. May I believe that what you say is real Modish Or may I ever after be suspected and not believed when I speak greatest Truths Julia. I on these Terms accept you as a person I would sometimes converse with when Opportunity presents it self and ease a Heart as full of Cares as yours and full as richly fraught with vertuous Love Modish And when you find me otherwise inclin'd than wholly to be acted by your Will and absolute Command despise me as the worst of human Kind and stigmatize me with some Mark of Infamy that I may ever be abhorred by all good meaning People and like a place infected by the Plague be shunn'd by all that know me Julia. I have been the freer with you because I expect Sir Peter and my Sister who will disturb our Privacy I know my Sister hath a great Esteem for you the which I would have you cherish it will help much to forward our Design the rest I 'le leave to your wise Management and take my leave at present for if my Sister finds us both together she will then suspect our Plot. Exit Modish Like weary Travellers who have lost their Way benighted in some strange and unknown Country espy some Light from the next Country Village and with what speed they can they make toward it where being refresh'd with Course but wholesom Food forget the Labour of the fore-spent Day so I with this small Glimps of Happiness forget my weary Hours and restless Nights as if they had â—â—ver been Thus Snowr's and Sunshine Joy and Grief take place Like Night and Day which run their constant Race Exit Lettice This goes as I would wish This Couple are come already to a â—â—ghâ— Understanding Would her Sister were as well pâ—ovided for â—â—t that 's a Work of Time nor will my Lady be a little out of sorts when she knows Mr. Modish hath been here and she mist the Sight of him so passionate we are when any thing crosseth our Humour and how transported with Joy when every thing hits to our Minds Enter Sir Peter Lady Lovejoy and Flavia as from walking S. Peter You are not fit to have the name of Walkers I 'le undertake in two Miles to gain one of you and never put my self in a Disorder Lettice hath any body been here since we went Lettice Here hath been Mr. Modish to tender his Service L. Lovejoy What an Opportunity is here mist But it cannot be helpt now if I should break my Heart aside This comes of your Folly S. Peter when you should be at home to entertain your Friend you are beating the Fields like a Setting-Dog S. Peter Prithee ben't so passionate we shall see him again very suddainly I 'le warrant you L. Lovejoy You warrant I wonder how long you have been a Star gazer you can foretell future Events so well Never any Woman was so hamper'd with a conceited Coxcomb as I am with you there 's no end of your Folly
THE Contented Cuckold OR THE Womans Advocate A COMEDY This may be Printed April 26 th 1692. Rob. Midgley LONDON Printed and Sold by Randal Taylor near Stationers-Hall A. D. 1692. To his worthy Friends John Huxly of Wyerhall in Edmonson in the County of Middlesex Esq and Richard Andrew of the same Gentleman Generous Gentlemen THIS Trifle which I am bold to prefix your Name in like a well drawn Picture looks alike on each of you and challenges your Protection and Patronage you being the sole Promoters and Countenancers of its being what it is your Commands together with my want of Consideration made me undertake a Task which I am conscious to my self I am altogether unfit for When I had plunged my self into this Sea of Thought I quickly found my Mistake and presently became sensible of my Error though too late to recall it having given my Promise before for the performance of it I have taken what care I could to walk by the Rules prescribed me as you will find by the perusal of it If there be any thing in it can force a Smile or a kind Look from you I have reach'd my end and hope it may take off the edge of your Anger at the rest of an ill writ Play which wants both Language Wit and Plot which Three if I mistake not are the chief Ingredients that make up a Comedy with which if it be fraught Nonsense may sometimes pass unregarded I expect not in this Critical and Censorious Age to fare better than the rest and best of Poets who for the most part are branded with the Name of Scribling Fops and Half-wits and to say Truth the World hath still been at that pass for some Ages past Produce me but one Poet either Ancient or Modern that ever escaped the Lash of Envious and Malicious Tongues Et eris mihi Magnus Apollo yet I hope that good Nature and sweet Disposition which you are in a large measure indowed withall will pass by small Faults and accept the Will for the Deed from him whose highest Ambition is that without offence he may subscribe himself Your Obliged Humble Servant Reuben Bourne THE PROLOGUE INdulgent Parents take what care they can To breed their Son but when he once writes Man He thinks himself too great to be advis'd And those which took such care are then Despis'd He sets up for himself and learns the way To Whore all Night to Swear and Drink all Day The Spark being thus accomplish'd think's he 's fit At a New Play to be a Judge of Wit And takes his Place with as much Confidence As he that 's Master of the greatest Sense Sets his Cravat and then invokes the Powers And Swears all Vizard Masks are Common Whores So Poets tickled with Applause they are Quite alter'd and no more the Men they were They then grow Proud and huff their Benefactors And Swear the fault 's not in the Play but Actors The Musick that shall hardly scape his Curse The Scenes and Habits he likes ten times worse And all to make his Bandy Play go down With the more civil Gentry of the Town A Smutty Tale will please the Common sort His greatest care is how to take the Court And get the name of Poet from some Lord None dare gainsay but gladly take his Word Our Poet 's none of these all his Intent Is among Neighbours to make Merriment Which if it take effect he'th gain'd his ends If not he hopes the Ladies are his Friends And back'd by them he cares not who contends Our Poet to your Beauties doth submit And Humbly offers both himself and it The ACTORS NAMES SIR Peter Lovejoy The Contented Cuckold Lady Lovejoy His Wife Lettis Her Maid Mr. Friendly Lady Lovejoys Uncle Mr. Sparkish Two Gentlemen of the times Mr. Modish Two Gentlemen of the times Mr. Serious An old Gouty Gentleman Ralph His Man Tom Man to Mr. Sparkish Stephen Man to Mr. Modish Flavia and Julia Sisters to Lady Lovejoy A Hackny Coachman  A Drawer  And a Foot-Boy  THE Contented Cuckold OR THE Womans Advocate ACT I. Mr. Serious on his Couch Ralph standing by him Mr. Serious RAlph Ralph Sir Mr. Serious How goes the day Ralph The glorious Sun is posting forward to the hour of Nine Mr. Serious Impertinent Coxcomb that thinkst to dress thy Speech with flourishes and set thy self in more esteem with Men by Rhetorick tell me directly how the day goes forward without the least Addition Ralph Without Addition then 't is near on Nine the last that struck was Eight Mr. Serious I think at Ten Sir Peter Lovejoy said he would be here Ralph He did so Sir Mr. Serious Time runs away 't is 20 year since first I knew that Man the most contented Cuckold in the World yet thinks himself a Wit and will no more believe his Wife dishonest than I the Alcoran to be a Truth such Fools there are in Nature But were I he I would find her haunts and break them But speak to him and 't is to no more purpose than grasping the Air. But hark I hear him coming Enter Sir Peter Lovejoy Sir Peter Good morrow Sir I see your old Distemper will be your Guest tho uninvited and keep you Chamber-prisoner Mr. Serious I see Sir Peter you still keep your humour look Fat and Fair I hope your Lady 's well S. Peter She is Let them look Sad that are always out of Humour those Jealous-pated Fools who dare not trust their Wives beyond their sight but sit uneasie sigh and make complaint and either Rail at Fortune or the Priest that joyned their Wives and them whilst I like Birds at liberty sit Chirping and spend my hours with Mirth Mr. Serious You are happy Sir that can set light by grief but let me tell you Sir I have known as wise a Man as you deceived Sir Peter Away thou Fool go Preach your Rif-Raf to those Jealous-Coxcombs will give you the hearing of it so good morrow Mr. Serious Farewel thou sensless Sot and now 't is time for me to use my Legs and move to some close Corner of my House and lay my Plot to compass Lovejoy's Sister for Gouty as I now pretend my self my inclination is still that way given and this my borrowed shape to reach my End Exeunt Enter Lady Lovejoy Flavia Julia and Lettice Lady Lovejoy Methinks the hours move slowly forward for I have rested badly and in that seeming Rest I have enjoyed have been disturbed with Fears and dismal Visions such as disturb the Mind and fill the Heart with Grief Julia. Come Sister talk no more of Dreams and Fantasies which serve for nothing but to spoil good Company Let 's contrive how to enjoy our selves in the Afternoon and spend the day with mirth Lady Lovejoy Fie Sister 't is not generous thus to triumph over my misfortunes I have known the time when I could have been Jovial and danced all Night without the least regret
Enter Sparkish leading in Lady Lovejoy Sparkish Madam the Obligations you have now laid on me binds me for ever your devoted Servant when shall I be thus blest again Dear Madam such Ravishing Delights as pass belief dwell ever in your Eyes and in your Face a Thousand Charms are moving the least of which hath force enough to revive Nature setled on the Lees and turn old Age to Youth L. Lovejoy Sir You are maker of your own good Fortune if you style this your Happiness 't is in your power to give a daâ—e to Love and make it short or lasting as you please I am but like a Dial in Tempestuous Weather of no use till you the Sun appear Sparkish If I may have my wish we will lose no time but Husband it still to promote our Happiness that after Ages envying our Felicity shall take their Measures from us and Copy what we leave fairly Written L. Lovejoy 'T is still the fate of Lovers to be at first extreamly fond and Court-like till time that alters all things makes us Common and Cheap to one another if not Age won't be hid and then what seem'd so fair and lovely to us is defaced and blotted like Garments out of Fashion not regarded so Love as Age grows on declines and nauseates what before it most longed after Sparkish With sickly Appetites all nourishment is loathsome but you have Charms that still create more liking and add a Lustre to your heavenly Form which Captivates at sight Enter Lettice Lettice Madam I hear my Master in the Street he is coming home I thought it part of my Duty to give your Ladyship notice L. Lovejoy 'T is well done go to Bed I 'le let your Master in Your absence will now be necessary Sparkish Madam Your Servant L. Lovejoy That Door will lead you the Back-way out your Servant Sir good Night Ex. Sparkish By this means I may make a Discovery and see what humour my Knight is in when he is Top and Top-Gallant for being faulty my self makes me have a mighty suspicion of other People Knocking without L. Lovejoy blows out the Candle then opens the door Enter Sir Peter Sir Peter Well Lettice Is thy Mrs. safe L. Lovejoy Whist Whist Sir Peter Nay I can be as silent as any body if that will do march on tho it be dark I shall make some shift or other to follow my Leader Enter Modish leading in Julia Lettice following them Modish Transporting Joys are always short and fleeting not permanent and durable the satisfaction scarce balances the loss of parting with them your beauteous form hath made such deep Impression in me that wanting you I want my better part and can no more reach Happiness without you than Fruit in Autumn ripens without Sun-shine Julia. This is no time for long Discourses Sir the Night 's far spent and I am indisposed and much disordered Lettice Come Sir Face to the Right and follow your Leader I 'le conduct you out 't is time to part Modish And must we part Farewel till next we meet thou Beauteous Soul Eternal Love wait and attend upon thee Exit Julia. The thoughts of future happiness still make us undergo the greatest Slavery and Servitude without Repining but slighted once nothing exceeds the malice of a Woman We Love beyond belief but if men prove Once false our hatred far exceeds our Love Enter Lettice Lettice So with much ado they are separated had I let them alone this month together the last Tune would have been Loath to depart The truth of it is I should be of the same mind were the Case my own as now 't is theirs Love knows no Bounds and moves no common Way An Age with Lovers seems but a short day Exit Enter Flavia. Flavia. When every bodies turn is serv'd it may be I may be remembred for 't would be hard to lye alone all my life-time but afterwards to lead Apes is a thing I abhor the thoughts of Exit Enter Lady Lovejoy and Sir Peter following her L. Lovejoy Urge me no more you know I am in my Nature reconcilable and therefore you use me as you do Sir Peter Thou art as Waspish this Morning as the Barber that kill'd his Horse because he would not stand to be trim'd Lady Lovejoy You are as void of Sense as the Woman that because her Gallant turn'd her off discover'd the Intriegue to her Husband and made a Westminster business of it Sir Peter I think Edmonton Air hath made thee sharp-witted you are so quick at Repartee there 's no speaking to you L. Lovejoy There is no Air will alter you from what you are A dull Drone that cannot make a Warrant without the Statute-Book nor a Mittimus without the help of your Clark forsooth S. Peter Prithee be not so angry we have all our failings thou know'st we must bear with small faults Enter Lettice L. Lovejoy Here 's another that creates me trouble hourly but I 'le quit my hands of her Lettice I would have you provide your self of a place for I find you are not for my turn therefore pray pack up and be moving There 's what is due to you gives her mony Lettice Short warning I would gladly know the Cause L. Lovejoy 'T is enough I will have it so S. Peter She hath been a good Servant to thee don't turn her away for a small fault L. Lovejoy You may do what you please with your Men pray let me alone with my Maids Lettice Your Servant Madam I can dispose of my self without giving you a further trouble L. Lovejoy Stay and take that along with you gives her mony I earn'd that last Night for you you had had it then 't was designed for you but being gone to Bed you mist of it and I should be as unjust as you should I defraud you S. Peter Sits the Wind in that Door then 't is time for me to be moving for fear of an after-Reckoning in a little time her heat will be over Exit Sir Peter L. Lovejoy You see by this and find by dayly experience that your sly pretending Coxcomb who one would think had neither Life nor Soul in him will be as sweet on a Whore in a Corner as the daring Hector who makes it his business to Debauch himself and others yet I am still of the Opinion your half-witted Men make the best Husbands because they are fittest to be imposed upon and may be wrought into what Form we best like of We Marry that our Loves may setled be Yet nothing pleases like Variety Enter Julia Flavia and Lettice Lettice Ladies You see at last I am deserted by my Lady who have made it my whole employment to serve you to the utmost of my power but am now out of a Capacity to serve you further Julia. There can be nothing laid to thy Charge by us we must own thou hast been diligent in thy Office But you must finish the work you have
begun or we are in a worse Condition than ever Flavia. If she leaves us now in this perplexing doubt 't is Inhumanity beyond Example Lettice Ladies I would not have you despair but be assisting in contriving your own good Fortune there shall be nothing wanting in me to forward it if it be in my power Julia. Set us but in the way then if we follow not thy Directions the fault lies at our Door not yours Flavia. Do but tell us what we shall do to attain what you have so successfully hitherto carried on and leave us to perform it Lettice If I must still be concern'd in your Affair I 'le try my Skill I think this Plot may take 'T is Madam Julia that they all adore but can but one possess her therefore to carry on our Design she must promise them all fair to draw them into the snare of Matrimony upon this condition that they shall be content to be married after the Masquerading way in a Disguise for by that means we may all be provided for to our wish for Mr. Sparkish desires this day to court her for his Wife the other two you know have long been Suitors This will be no great Task to undergo and this performed we gain what we desire Julia. True Lettice still thy Plots are laid above the reach of Fate to frustrate or prevent Lettice Now I 'le leave you and possess Modish with our Stratagem and leave the rest to you Exit Julia. Now Sister what remains but that we carry on this Plot with Secrecy so happily begun Flavia. It must of force be prosperous you shall have Modish let Sparkish be my Prize and leave the old dissembling Letcher Serious for Lettice to convert Julia. Agreed and all are satisfied Where differing Humours meet there 's always Strife But all Contentment in a married Life Exeunt Ambo Enter Sparkish and Julia. Sparkish As I have used your Brothers House I still observed that Sweentness in your Carriage and such transcendent Beauty in your Face as cannot be resisted what I have said of you is not strange but common being the Talk and wish of all Beholders Julia. In Rallery and Jest not Earnest sure Sparkish Such Divine Forms as yours are rather to be worship'd and ador'd than made our Mirth and Pastime Julia. Now you betray the worst of Natures Flattery and think I take what you speak in Rallery for real Truth Sparkish You wrong me much my Heart and Tongue agree I heard by chance that Modish long had wooed you which brought me now to know if my small service and the Love I owe you may be accepted with you Julia. Would you be so unkind to wrong your Friend and prove his Rival in the Choice he hath made Sparkish Would I not What is 't I would not do to gain your Favour Make me a promise that I shall enjoy you impose what ' ere you will I 'le undergo it with as much Willingness as I would eat or drink to strengthen and support decaying Nature Julia. In that Sir I 'le never promise any man but am resolved who ' ere I marry it shall be in a Disguise and that you may know I have no Aversion for your Person I 'le make you of my Council To Morrow I design to alter my Condition if you dare venture to take your Lot or Chance I am ti'd to make no further Discovery you may I will provide a Non-con shall joyn us for here will be two more of the same Humour to marry in Disguises Now if you dare to venture so if not farewel Exit Sparkish Come what may come I 'le venture for I am acquainted with her Sister and Lettice too by which means I may inform my self as to her Garb and Dress that I mistake not this great Concern and hug a Cloud for Juno Enter Lettice Sparkish I was just coming to find you out about a matter that concerns me much my Happiness depends upon it Lettice If I can serve you you know you may command me to my power Sparkish Know then to Morrow is the time appointed I am to take my Choice unsight unseen as the saying is Now if by any means you can inform me which of the three is Julia for so many there is to be provided for you 'll eternally oblige me Lettice It happens so that I am of the Council and therefore can inform you but am obliged to Secrecy and 't is not generous to betray my Trust nor can I. Sparkish Here 's Gold for thy Reward give me some private Mark to know her by is all I ask Lettice If I may counsel you take the middle-most as they stand together you need no more direction Sparkish A word 's enough to the wise What Luck had I to think of this kind Creature to direct me Exit Lettice Now will he be cousen'd as the Dog who thought he had been going to Breakfast and was going to be hang'd But 't is no matter what she design'd for him will be good enough and too good without he were better Who knows when married but his roveing Mind May keep one center and to one prove kind Exit Enter Friendly and Serious Friendly A pretty Frolick this to be married Incognito as they call 't but were I concer'd they should look the Bridegroom where they could find him for me this is like buying a Pig in a Poke as the old saying is Well I would have you as my Friend to look before you leap they will put some Trick upon you you had best take heed Serious No no I am safe enough for that I have a private Mark to know her by besides I have undergon so much to gain her Favour as might fill a small Romance and do you think she will after all deceive me You wrong her much to start this Question Sir and me in harbouring such hard Thoughts of her and were you not my Friend I should as old as I am demand satisfaction of you for the Affront offer'd Friendly I only put the Worst the Best will help it self and if for this you are angry you may turn the Buckel of your Girdle behind you for any thing I care Enter Sir Peter Lovejoy S. Peter What angry one with another Let 's know the Cause I 'le make you Friends again or it shall cost me all the Mony in my Pocket Friendly The matter is not worth the speaking of Mr. Serious can inform you if he pleases the Reason of our Difference Mr. Serious I 'le as soon be hang'd cant a Man speak a hasty Word but it must presently be brought upon the Stage I have no Quarrel with any man living that I know of so be satisfied S. Peter I am very well satisfied there is no difference between you for my part you are both my Friends and therefore was concern'd Friendly 'T was kindly offer'd Where do you dine to day At home or abroad S. Peter At Tom's where Modish
is 7 a Clock he won't be long before he is here Some body knocks 't is he sure Now to dissemble well and Cheat this Fool and make him think I love him Enter Mr. Serious Serious Madam This is a happiness beyond belief to enjoy your Company and in private too I hope we may be so Julia. Yes Sir Lettice withdraw and leave us Lettice Yes Madam But I think my Stars I shall have the pleasure of hearing all in private aside Julia. Sir I suppose you had the Note I sent you by your coming so exactly Mr. Serious I hope you take me to be a person of better Breeding and Courage than to be tardy in such weighty Matters Julia. I take you to be a person of Discretion fit to be trusted with a Ladies Honour Such Godly men as you are ne're suspected Mr. Serious If my borrow'd Shape offends you I 'le throw that by and shew you what in Truth I am and always have been my aim and whole desire is your fair Beauty which gain'd I am no more the Man I seem than is your Sister Lovejoy what she seems Julia. Is she too one of the Dissembling sort that Cheats the World in Zeal Mr. Serious No better nor no worse but to our business in hand the thing we meet for Julia. Soft and fair goes far I have several Articles must be agreed to before I yield the Fort so long maintained against home-bred Enemies and Forreign Foes Mr. Serious Before they are named I agree to them let them be what they will Julia. This general Consent won't do with me Besides I have an odd Humour must be satisfied I have made a Resolution never to yield to any Man without he Consents to be Blind-folded and his Hands tied behind him so to walk from my House to his let it be where it will Now this must be performed before we proceed any further Mr. Serious A pretty Frolick This perform'd you say you and I may come to a right understanding Julia. Yes when we meet again no question to your Satisfaction Do you agree to this Mr. Serious 'T is something hard but rather than lose your Favour I 'le consent to any thing in Reason Who must Blind me Julia. Take no thought for that I 'le see it done Mr. Serious Well I commit my self into your hands use me as you think good They say Lovers are Blind and I can be no more when this is done but I fear after all I shall be at a loss to find my way home Julia. Come Sir let 's in and set the project on foot I Long to see you begin your Journy Exeunt Enter Friendly and Sparkish Sparkish Mr. Friendly my old Acquaintance most happily encounter'd methinks 't is an Age since last I saw you Friendly Your Servant Sir I retain my old Humour still never trouble my self with State-Affairs nor business above my Apprehension I warrant you you shall never find me in a Plot either against King or Government nor my Name in Print to shew my Wit and Parts and undergo the Censure of the World all my Aim is to serve my Friend provided it be not to my own prejudice and to know where I may be furnish'd with a Glass of rare Claret in the Evening with this I rest contented Sparkish I like your Humour well I was yesterday at the piercing of a Hogshead of such Wine as you speak of if you please I have a Bottle of it at your Service Friendly With all my heart I am for a Whet as you call it before Dinner Lead on Sir I 'le bear you Company provided you don 't move too fast for me Sparkish Come on Sir Thus various ways the differing World do move But without Wine there 's neither Life nor Love Enter Mr. Serious Blindfold his Hands tied behind him Lady Lovejoy Julia Flavia and Lettice Laughing Mr. Serious I am glad Ladies I can contribute any thing to your Mirth but 't is not fair to insult over a Man in his Misfortunes Lady Lovejoy The truth of it is I should not have done it but you began first with me like an untoward Man as you are so what I do is out of Revenge Julia. What I do is out of Love I suppose the Gentleman is satisfied in that Lettice I did nothing but what you all Commanded and he desired but let me dye now 't is done if I can forbear Laughing I beg the Gentleman's Excuse Flavia. Faith I pity the poor Gentleman but this is the Fate of Lovers they must undergo whatever is enjoyned them Julia. Well Mr. Serious 't is well 't is no worse whatever the Service be you know the Reward is sweet and will answer your Expectation In the mean time you shall have my good wishes for your safe Deliverance else for ought I know I may be brought in as Contriver of his Murder Let him have a good beginning whatever the end be prithee Lettice sing him a Song before he sets onward of his Journy Lettice I 'le do my endeavour to please you all if possible but you know I could never sing well Besides I have nothing new to Sing mine are all old Lettice Sings TEll me what a thing is Love O ye Gods that live above You in wanton pleasures rove And all its secret Joys do prove Whilst we poor Mortals here below Scarce a part of it do know But linger out a Life in pain And nought but scornful Love we gain Why was Man cut out by Fate Capable of better State And why was Woman made his Mate To help him yet his Toils create If we were made the Lords of all Must we to our Subjects fall And Cringe to that which is our own By right of our Creation Mr. Serious Your Servant Ladies This is some refreshment in the midst of all my Misfortunes Now for my Journy Julia. Ha ha ha look Lettice the Gentleman hath left his Dog-trot and hath found out a new way of Ambling Lettice He walks in State now he may Cock his Bever and take the Wall of a Dog Lady Lovejoy This is excellent sport let 's in and have our Laugh out Exeunt omnes Enter Sparkish and Modish Sparkish I wonder Modish what makes you so Melancholy of late thou usest to be of another temper Modish I rather wonder what makes you so Merry I see no cause for it Sparkish Prithee what should make me otherwise I have good Cloathes on my Back good Victuals in my Belly and good Mony that Commands the World in my Pocket I need want for nothing this World affords And I know no reason that Noble Creature Man the Lord of the Creation should deny himself any thing I have known you of this Opinion formerly what e're 's the matter with you now Modish I have consider'd of it and can find no reason why any Man should Narcissus like be in love with his own Image but am rather of my Lord Rochester's Opinion