will_v save_v or_o damn_v i_o at_o last_o i_o know_v not_o neither_o do_v i_o think_v it_o possible_a for_o i_o ever_o to_o have_v know_v that_o except_o it_o be_v by_o some_o extraordinary_a way_n which_o very_o few_o do_v attain_v unto_o but_o by_o degree_n i_o begin_v to_o stay_v upon_o some_o promise_n through_o such_o consideration_n as_o these_o first_o i_o think_v it_o can_v not_o stand_v with_o the_o goodness_n of_o god_n to_o damn_v a_o poor_a soul_n that_o have_v such_o heart-working_n and_o desire_n after_o he_o as_o i_o have_v have_v much_o in_o my_o thought_n those_o word_n of_o sampsons_n mother_n judges_z 13._o 23._o i_o think_v that_o if_o he_o do_v intend_v to_o destroy_v i_o he_o will_v never_o have_v give_v i_o such_o desire_n after_o he_o &_o preserve_v i_o till_o now_o and_o then_o that_o promise_n mat._n 5._o 6._o do_v much_o support_v i_o for_o i_o think_v that_o if_o ever_o poor_a creature_n do_v hunger_n and_o thirst_n after_o righteousness_n i_o do_v these_o promise_n and_o consideration_n with_o some_o confuse_a apprehension_n that_o i_o have_v concern_v the_o lord_n jesus_n do_v much_o raise_v i_o the_o thought_n i_o have_v of_o he_o be_v such_o as_o these_o i_o do_v believe_v that_o the_o justice_n of_o god_n must_v be_v satisfy_v for_o sin_n and_o that_o nothing_o can_v satisfy_v his_o justice_n but_o a_o perfect_a righteousness_n now_o i_o think_v i_o be_v to_o be_v very_o strict_a and_o circumspect_a in_o all_o my_o way_n if_o it_o be_v possible_a to_o perform_v such_o a_o righteousness_n but_o what_o i_o can_v not_o do_v christ_n have_v do_v for_o i_o and_o when_o i_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n that_o i_o think_v be_v sin_n i_o can_v not_o apply_v christ_n till_o i_o have_v repent_v that_o be_v till_o i_o have_v mourn_v fast_v and_o pray_v afflict_v myself_o in_o such_o a_o measure_n as_o i_o think_v may_v stand_v with_o the_o not_o destroy_v or_o prejudice_v nature_n for_o there_o god_n will_v have_v mercy_n rather_o than_o 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not_o the_o hundred_o part_n of_o the_o labour_n and_o travel_n of_o my_o soul_n while_o i_o live_v in_o that_o condition_n and_o if_o i_o shall_v go_v about_o to_o write_v it_o all_o i_o know_v not_o how_o nor_o when_o to_o make_v a_o end_n but_o god_n be_v please_v in_o mercy_n to_o free_v i_o from_o that_o bondage_n by_o the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n and_o grace_n through_o his_o son_n to_o who_o be_v all_o praise_n and_o glory_n for_o ever_o more_o amen_n some_o brief_a observation_n from_o this_o second_o note_n of_o experience_n first_o concern_v the_o person_n by_o who_o my_o experience_n in_o these_o thing_n begin_v which_o be_v one_o as_o i_o judge_v not_o right_o call_v or_o send_v to_o preach_v the_o gospel_n he_o not_o be_v relate_v to_o a_o true_a church_n though_o otherwise_o i_o hope_v a_o godly_a man_n according_a to_o that_o measure_n of_o light_n he_o have_v receive_v from_o whence_o i_o observe_v that_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o a_o godly_a man_n in_o time_n of_o ignorance_n and_o darkness_n to_o be_v a_o minister_n of_o a_o false_a church_n second_o i_o observe_v that_o though_o it_o be_v not_o the_o work_n of_o a_o false_a ministry_n neither_o be_v it_o the_o way_n of_o god_n to_o convert_v soul_n by_o yet_o accidental_o or_o providential_o something_o may_v be_v do_v that_o way_n by_o they_o especial_o in_o time_n of_o persecution_n where_o there_o be_v not_o a_o true_a ministry_n abroad_o as_o indeed_o i_o be_o much_o incline_v to_o own_o the_o work_n of_o conversion_n to_o be_v begin_v in_o i_o at_o this_o time_n and_o that_o for_o these_o reason_n first_o because_o now_o be_v the_o day_n of_o god_n power_n noâ—_n only_o to_o make_v i_o willing_a but_o there_o be_v some_o change_n wrought_v in_o the_o whole_a soul_n and_o every_o faculty_n of_o it_o which_o before_o be_v dead_a have_v now_o some_o life_n and_o motion_n in_o thing_n relate_v to_o god_n and_o godliness_n as_o the_o understanding_n be_v open_v so_o the_o will_n 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uphold_v my_o spirit_n be_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n though_o my_o apprehension_n of_o he_o be_v not_o according_a to_o the_o gospel_n as_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n therein_o contain_v a_o three_o reason_n be_v from_o the_o consideration_n of_o that_o fruit_n which_o do_v appear_v at_o that_o time_n which_o be_v a_o entire_a love_n to_o christ_n and_o a_o conversation_n suitable_a thereunto_o according_a to_o the_o light_n then_o receive_v for_o there_o be_v not_o only_o a_o do_v good_a but_o a_o love_n to_o it_o and_o delight_n in_o it_o and_o there_o be_v not_o only_o a_o forbear_n evil_a
the_o same_o though_o in_o our_o judgement_n we_o can_v so_o own_v they_o which_o be_v a_o plain_a contradiction_n in_o our_o principle_n we_o say_v they_o be_v not_o church_n and_o minister_n of_o christ_n by_o our_o practice_n we_o say_v they_o be_v as_o have_v be_v mind_v second_o as_o it_o be_v a_o contradiction_n of_o our_o own_o principle_n so_o it_o have_v have_v such_o effect_n which_o be_v too_o visible_a and_o remain_v unto_o this_o day_n i_o must_v confess_v in_o my_o most_o serious_a thought_n i_o have_v wonder_v what_o shall_v be_v the_o reason_n that_o any_o in_o the_o house_n of_o god_n shall_v desire_v to_o be_v elsewhere_o i_o be_o sure_a there_o be_v no_o reason_n to_o be_v give_v for_o it_o neither_o from_o scripture_n nor_o experience_n therefore_o i_o conclude_v it_o be_v either_o from_o ignorance_n &_o so_o person_n in_o their_o practice_n cross_v their_o own_o principle_n and_o not_o know_v it_o or_o else_o it_o be_v from_o corrupt_a principle_n or_o else_o 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consent_n and_o when_o we_o shall_v have_v one_o heart_n and_o one_o way_n and_o there_o shall_v be_v one_o lord_n and_o his_o name_n one_o zeph._n 3._o 9_o jer._n 32._o 39_o zach._n 14._o 9_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n let_v none_o under_o a_o pretence_n of_o wait_v for_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o such_o promise_n as_o these_o grow_v cold_a and_o indifferent_a in_o the_o great_a thing_n of_o god_n for_o none_o can_v true_o wait_v for_o the_o accomplishment_n of_o promise_n but_o such_o as_o do_v wait_v in_o a_o close_o walk_v with_o god_n according_a to_o that_o measure_n of_o light_n receive_v and_o so_o those_o that_o have_v but_o a_o little_a of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o god_n let_v they_o follow_v on_o to_o know_v the_o lord_n hosea_n 6._o 3._o and_o let_v those_o that_o be_v in_o the_o faith_n earnest_o contend_v for_o it_o judas_n 3._o and_o such_o as_o be_v in_o gospel_n church_n let_v they_o stand_v fast_o in_o one_o spirit_n with_o one_o mind_n strive_v together_o for_o the_o faith_n of_o the_o gospel_n phil._n 1._o 27._o and_o let_v every_o one_o that_o name_v the_o name_n of_o christ_n depart_v from_o iniquity_n 2_o timothy_n 2._o 19_o and_o those_o that_o love_v the_o lord_n hate_v evil_a psalm_n 97._o 10._o and_o as_o i_o desire_v that_o none_o may_v slight_v grow_v cold_a or_o indifferent_a in_o the_o great_a thing_n of_o god_n under_o a_o pretence_n of_o wait_v for_o high_a enjoyment_n or_o discovery_n which_o shall_v be_v in_o the_o late_a day_n so_o i_o desire_v likewise_o that_o none_o may_v plead_v against_o the_o truth_n under_o a_o pretence_n of_o love_n as_o many_o do_v in_o these_o day_n labour_v to_o confound_v light_n with_o darkness_n truth_n with_o error_n and_o to_o make_v a_o agreement_n where_o god_n have_v make_v none_o let_v such_o know_v that_o true_a spiritual_a love_n as_o it_o be_v wrought_v in_o the_o heart_n by_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n so_o it_o be_v bound_v within_o the_o limit_n of_o truth_n love_n and_o truth_n go_v hand_n in_o hand_n it_o be_v so_o fix_v upon_o god_n that_o it_o love_v all_o in_o and_o for_o he_o spiritual_a love_n must_v have_v a_o spiritual_a object_n and_o as_o the_o object_n be_v more_o or_o less_o visible_a so_o be_v that_o love_n it_o can_v love_v every_o thing_n alike_o nay_o it_o work_n as_o well_o by_o hatred_n of_o evil_a as_o approve_v that_o which_o be_v good_a psa_n 101._o psa_fw-la 97._o 10._o rev._n 2._o 6._o psa_fw-la 119._o 122_o 128._o it_o love_v that_o which_o god_n love_v and_o hate_v that_o which_o he_o hate_v it_o love_v the_o word_n of_o god_n the_o ordinance_n of_o god_n and_o the_o people_n of_o god_n and_o hate_v all_o that_o be_v in_o opposition_n to_o these_o it_o rejoice_v not_o in_o iniquity_n but_o rejoice_v in_o the_o truth_n 1_o cor._n 13._o 6._o this_o be_v true_a spiritual_a love_n in_o which_o we_o be_v to_o receive_v every_o truth_n and_o by_o which_o faith_n work_v 2_o thes_n 2._o 10._o gal._n 5._o 6._o and_o i_o dare_v affirm_v whatever_o person_n may_v pretend_v of_o spiritual_a love_n that_o be_v not_o of_o this_o nature_n it_o be_v a_o mere_a delusion_n and_o that_o all_o that_o fear_v the_o lord_n ought_v to_o take_v heed_n of_o it_o the_o five_o note_n of_o experience_n concern_v notion_n and_o pretend_a spirituality_n in_o which_o satan_n transform_v himself_o into_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n and_o how_o far_o i_o be_v deceive_v by_o it_o and_o how_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o recover_v i_o out_o of_o it_o be_v now_o through_o much_o mercy_n bring_v out_o of_o babylon_n into_o zion_n to_o partake_v of_o those_o dainty_n which_o the_o lord_n have_v prepare_v for_o his_o people_n there_o satan_n that_o grand_a enemy_n of_o mankind_n who_o go_v about_o like_o a_o roar_a lion_n seek_v who_o he_o may_v devour_v 1_o pet._n 5._o 8._o envy_n my_o happiness_n and_o wait_v his_o opportunity_n to_o catch_v i_o as_o a_o fish_n in_o the_o water_n cover_v his_o hook_n with_o a_o bait_n of_o mystery_n and_o spirituality_n who_o though_o i_o have_v escape_v he_o in_o all_o his_o former_a appearance_n as_o a_o devil_n yet_o now_o transform_v himself_o into_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n if_o it_o be_v possible_a for_o ever_o thereby_o to_o beguile_v and_o deceive_v i_o know_v that_o those_o that_o be_v so_o deceive_v be_v the_o fit_a agent_n to_o promote_v his_o kingdom_n and_o that_o many_o time_n he_o prevail_v this_o way_n when_o he_o can_v prevail_v no_o other_o way_n draw_v person_n to_o that_o by_o degree_n through_o corrupt_a principle_n which_o they_o will_v have_v tremble_v at_o the_o thought_n of_o before_o they_o have_v such_o principle_n but_o god_n be_v please_v not_o only_o to_o keep_v i_o from_o such_o thing_n but_o also_o discover_v to_o i_o the_o way_n by_o which_o person_n be_v bring_v to_o such_o thing_n that_o so_o to_o the_o praise_n of_o his_o grace_n i_o may_v avoid_v those_o way_n and_o also_o forewarn_v other_o to_o avoid_v they_o likewise_o but_o before_o i_o be_v bring_v to_o discover_v satan_n under_o these_o veil_n by_o harken_v to_o the_o voice_n of_o the_o tempter_n in_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o i_o desire_v ever_o to_o be_v humble_v in_o the_o presence_n of_o god_n i_o be_v deceive_v and_o beguile_v by_o he_o in_o some_o particular_a thing_n and_o that_o after_o this_o manner_n after_o we_o have_v live_v some_o time_n in_o london_n walk_v with_o the_o church_n in_o the_o practice_n of_o the_o gospel_n it_o please_v god_n to_o remove_v our_o habitation_n into_o the_o country_n where_o we_o have_v not_o that_o privilege_n and_o after_o a_o while_n my_o husband_n be_v in_o the_o army_n it_o occasion_v our_o
mere_o by_o their_o word_n that_o i_o dare_v read_v it_o no_o further_o but_o send_v it_o home_o again_o resolve_v to_o stick_v to_o my_o old_a principle_n and_o so_o resolve_v i_o be_v that_o i_o judge_v it_o my_o duty_n and_o according_o do_v praise_v the_o lord_n that_o i_o have_v escape_v that_o snare_n and_o stumble_a block_n which_o it_o be_v like_a to_o be_v to_o i_o till_o about_o half_a a_o year_n after_o these_o forementioned_a minister_n not_o be_v satisfy_v to_o speak_v against_o those_o book_n in_o private_a only_o but_o bring_v they_o into_o their_o pulpit_n read_v particular_a passage_n which_o as_o they_o read_v and_o apply_v it_o be_v contrary_a to_o the_o sense_n of_o it_o and_o sometime_o i_o think_v they_o speak_v more_o than_o be_v true_a which_o do_v occasion_v i_o to_o desire_v the_o book_n again_o for_o my_o better_a satisfaction_n but_o they_o not_o be_v allow_v to_o be_v sell_v at_o that_o time_n it_o be_v hard_a to_o get_v any_o of_o they_o but_o through_o mercy_n i_o get_v one_o and_o then_o i_o find_v they_o do_v not_o deal_v faithful_o but_o do_v wrest_v and_o draw_v false_a con_fw-mi sequence_n contrary_a to_o the_o drist_n and_o scope_n of_o it_o all_o which_o occasion_v serious_a thought_n in_o i_o remember_v when_o i_o first_o read_v it_o i_o lay_v it_o aside_o mere_o from_o a_o spirit_n of_o fear_n and_o prejudice_v occasion_v by_o their_o word_n and_o not_o that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o disprove_v it_o from_o scripture_n ground_n then_o remember_v those_o word_n of_o the_o apostle_n i_o thes_n 5._o 21._o try_v all_o thing_n and_o hold_v fast_o that_o which_o be_v good_a i_o think_v it_o my_o duty_n to_o lay_v aside_o all_o slavish_a fear_n and_o prejudice_n and_o to_o try_v it_o exact_o by_o the_o scripture_n believe_v that_o as_o it_o be_v god_n way_n to_o try_v so_o he_o will_v assist_v i_o in_o it_o which_o he_o be_v please_v to_o do_v and_o as_o i_o read_v i_o begin_v to_o be_v much_o affect_v and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v glad_a tiding_n and_o good_a news_n if_o it_o be_v true_a but_o i_o think_v it_o be_v too_o good_a to_o be_v true_a for_o i_o can_v not_o then_o believe_v that_o god_n be_v so_o free_a of_o his_o christ_n as_o to_o give_v he_o to_o any_o other_o sinner_n but_o to_o such_o as_o be_v qualify_v fit_v and_o prepare_v for_o he_o or_o that_o the_o way_n to_o glory_n be_v so_o easy_a as_o he_o seem_v to_o make_v it_o for_o if_o it_o be_v so_o than_o all_o that_o labour_n and_o travel_v which_o i_o have_v be_v a_o long_a time_n in_o be_v nothing_o which_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n yield_v to_o at_o that_o time_n for_o as_o christ_n once_o say_v to_o the_o jew_n that_o publican_n and_o harlot_n enter_v into_o the_o kingdom_n before_o they_o mat._n 21._o 31._o so_o true_o i_o find_v it_o so_o hard_a to_o lay_v down_o my_o own_o legal_a righteousness_n and_o to_o submit_v to_o the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n by_o faith_n according_a to_o rom._n 10._o 3._o that_o i_o be_v like_a to_o stick_v here_o when_o such_o as_o be_v more_o profane_a may_v receive_v the_o truth_n soon_o but_o serious_o weigh_v these_o with_o some_o other_o such_o like_a scripture_n as_o rom._n 4._o 4._o and_o 5._o 8._o ephe._n 2._o through_o grace_n i_o be_v in_o a_o great_a measure_n convince_v and_o bring_v to_o see_v that_o i_o have_v be_v exceed_o mistake_v in_o my_o understanding_n and_o apply_v of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o whereas_o i_o think_v i_o have_v attain_v a_o good_a degree_n of_o knowledge_n i_o now_o see_v myself_o to_o be_v very_o ignorant_a and_o must_v begin_v again_o to_o learn_v the_o first_o principle_n of_o the_o oracle_n of_o god_n which_o to_o suffer_v so_o much_o loss_n be_v very_o hard_o to_o i_o at_o the_o first_o but_o god_n be_v please_v by_o degree_n to_o strip_v i_o of_o all_o and_o to_o show_v i_o such_o a_o beauty_n and_o excellency_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n above_o it_o that_o i_o be_v make_v not_o only_o willing_a but_o joyous_a to_o lay_v down_o all_o at_o his_o foot_n and_o i_o trust_v can_v true_o say_v with_o the_o apostle_n that_o what_o be_v gain_v to_o i_o i_o count_v loss_n for_o christ_n yea_o doubtless_o and_o i_o count_v all_o thing_n but_o loss_n for_o the_o excellency_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o christ_n jesus_n my_o lord_n for_o who_o i_o have_v suffer_v the_o loss_n of_o all_o thing_n and_o do_v count_v they_o but_o dung_n that_o i_o may_v win_v christ_n and_o be_v find_v in_o he_o etc._n etc._n phil._n 3_o 7_o 8_o 9_o etc._n etc._n and_o as_o god_n have_v exalt_v christ_n to_o be_v a_o prince_n and_o a_o saviour_n act_v 5._o 31._o and_o have_v choose_v he_o as_o the_o only_a excellent_a one_o in_o who_o he_o have_v place_v life_n and_o salvation_n for_o people_n mat._n 12._o 18._o so_o my_o soul_n do_v approve_v of_o it_o to_o be_v the_o most_o excellent_a way_n and_o i_o trust_v can_v true_o say_v with_o the_o spouse_n he_o be_v the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o you_o he_o be_v one_o and_o there_o be_v not_o another_o cant._n 5._o 10._o act._n 4._o 12._o and_o the_o more_o i_o come_v to_o apprehend_v the_o glory_n of_o the_o gospel_n in_o the_o free_a tender_n and_o invitation_n of_o christ_n to_o sinner_n the_o more_o still_o i_o be_v affect_v with_o it_o and_o do_v admire_v it_o and_o see_v the_o tender_v of_o grace_n so_o free_a and_o the_o invitation_n so_o general_a that_o whosoever_o will_v come_v may_v come_v and_o take_v of_o the_o water_n of_o life_n free_o esay_n 55._o 1._o revel_v 22._o 17._o and_o that_o whosoever_o come_v to_o christ_n he_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_n out_o john_n 6._o 37._o by_o which_o word_n come_v i_o understand_v believe_v vers_fw-la 40._o and_o then_o consider_v the_o nature_n of_o the_o covenant_n that_o it_o be_v a_o covenant_n of_o grace_n free_a and_o without_o all_o condition_n on_o the_o creature_n part_n and_o that_o the_o condition_n stand_v only_o between_o god_n and_o christ_n as_o i_o then_o understand_v by_o these_o scripture_n esay_n 53._o 10._o psal_n 89._o through_o these_o consideration_n i_o be_v not_o only_o encourage_v but_o the_o abound_a love_n of_o christ_n do_v compel_v and_o constrain_v i_o to_o cast_v myself_o upon_o he_o for_o life_n and_o salvation_n in_o a_o way_n of_o believe_v and_o not_o in_o a_o way_n of_o work_v and_o to_o the_o praise_n of_o his_o grace_n as_o i_o desire_v never_o to_o forget_v it_o i_o do_v at_o this_o time_n receive_v the_o assurance_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o believe_v the_o free_a and_o full_a pardon_n of_o all_o my_o sin_n that_o god_n have_v lay_v they_o all_o upon_o christ_n and_o behold_v the_o travel_n of_o his_o soul_n be_v satisfy_v esay_n 53._o 11._o and_o well_o please_v with_o i_o in_o he_o mat._n 3._o 17._o and_o that_o they_o be_v all_o carry_v into_o the_o wilderness_n of_o forgetfulness_n and_o bury_v in_o oblivion_n according_a to_o that_o type_n of_o christ_n levit._n 16._o 21_o 22._o and_o that_o they_o be_v wash_v away_o in_o his_o blood_n revel_v 1._o 5._o and_o that_o god_n will_v remember_v they_o no_o more_o heb._n 8._o 12._o and_o 10._o 17._o these_o scripture_n with_o some_o other_o of_o the_o like_a nature_n be_v by_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n set_v home_o so_o powerful_o upon_o my_o heart_n at_o that_o time_n that_o true_o i_o can_v express_v the_o joyfulness_n and_o sweetness_n of_o my_o condition_n not_o be_v able_a to_o contain_v myself_o from_o call_v to_o other_o to_o tell_v they_o what_o god_n have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n how_o he_o have_v bring_v i_o out_o of_o bondage_n into_o the_o glorious_a liberty_n of_o adoption_n and_o fill_v i_o with_o joy_n and_o peace_n in_o believe_v yea_o with_o joy_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n rom._n 15._o 13._o 1_o pet._n 1._o 8._o and_o i_o remember_v for_o a_o long_a time_n after_o i_o do_v delight_n to_o be_v almost_o continual_o speak_v or_o meditate_v of_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n and_o of_o his_o bounty_n and_o goodness_n to_o poor_a sinner_n and_o to_o i_o the_o chief_a of_o sinner_n for_o i_o know_v more_o evil_a by_o myself_o than_o i_o do_v by_o any_o other_o yet_o doubtless_o i_o can_v say_v as_o it_o be_v once_o say_v of_o the_o thessalonian_o the_o gosspel_n come_v not_o to_o i_o at_o that_o time_n in_o word_n only_o but_o in_o power_n and_o much_o assurance_n and_o joy_n in_o the_o holy_a ghost_n 1_o thes_n 1._o 5._o and_o whereas_o former_o i_o think_v that_o to_o receive_v such_o a_o principle_n be_v the_o ready_a way_n to_o be_v loose_a and_o carnal_a i_o do_v
as_o 1_o thes_n 5._o 17._o etc._n etc._n but_o yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o be_v dissatisfy_v about_o it_o that_o notion_n of_o wait_v carry_v such_o a_o show_n of_o spirituality_n i_o can_v not_o easy_o let_v it_o go_v but_o yet_o this_o trial_n have_v so_o shake_v it_o that_o i_o do_v begin_v much_o to_o question_v it_o and_o also_o those_o other_o notion_n of_o the_o like_a nature_n than_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o bring_v we_o safe_a to_o land_n through_o which_o mercy_n i_o have_v some_o little_a communion_n with_o god_n be_v able_a to_o speak_v of_o his_o goodness_n in_o deliver_v we_o from_o that_o danger_n but_o through_o that_o dissatisfaction_n which_o still_o remain_v in_o i_o about_o these_o notion_n it_o be_v interrupt_v again_o and_o my_o beloved_a have_v withdraw_v himself_o and_o i_o be_v very_o much_o trouble_v not_o know_v where_o to_o rest_v nor_o what_o to_o do_v but_o notwithstanding_o i_o do_v begin_v much_o to_o question_v those_o thing_n from_o that_o trial_n i_o have_v of_o they_o on_o the_o sea_n yet_o i_o be_v more_o incline_v to_o they_o than_o to_o truth_n for_o some_o time_n especial_o to_o that_o of_o prayer_n and_o three_o or_o four_o time_n after_o i_o remember_v in_o discourse_n with_o some_o friend_n i_o do_v a_o little_a plead_v for_o they_o which_o though_o it_o be_v my_o sin_n so_o to_o do_v i_o do_v not_o then_o know_v it_o but_o must_v needs_o say_v i_o do_v as_o simple_o and_o sincere_o aim_v at_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n in_o all_o those_o thing_n as_o ever_o i_o do_v in_o any_o thing_n and_o therefore_o though_o satan_n have_v so_o beguile_v i_o yet_o i_o obtain_v mercy_n because_o i_o do_v it_o ignorant_o but_o my_o trouble_n and_o want_v of_o communion_n with_o god_n do_v still_o increase_v insomuch_o that_o i_o be_v scarce_o able_a to_o bear_v my_o burden_n and_o speak_v of_o it_o to_o my_o husband_n who_o be_v at_o that_o time_n much_o in_o the_o same_o condition_n i_o remember_v among_o many_o word_n he_o speak_v some_o be_v to_o this_o purpose_n that_o see_v we_o be_v in_o such_o a_o condition_n and_o at_o such_o a_o loss_n it_o be_v best_a to_o speak_v but_o little_a that_o as_o we_o do_v but_o little_a good_a we_o may_v do_v but_o little_a harm_n which_o i_o do_v well_o approve_v of_o and_o after_o that_o i_o speak_v little_a for_o or_o against_o any_o thing_n till_o i_o be_v better_o satisfy_v then_o be_v so_o true_o in_o a_o day_n of_o adversity_n according_a to_o that_o counsel_n of_o the_o wise_a man_n in_o eccles_n 7._o 14._o i_o sit_v down_o serious_o to_o consider_v what_o may_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o my_o be_v in_o so_o sad_a and_o strange_a a_o condition_n through_o which_o consideration_n by_o degree_n i_o come_v to_o see_v and_o conclude_v that_o certain_o there_o be_v something_o amiss_o in_o my_o judgement_n as_o to_o those_o notion_n begin_v clear_o to_o discern_v they_o do_v so_o oppose_v and_o contradict_v my_o former_a receive_a principle_n that_o they_o can_v not_o stand_v together_o but_o if_o one_o be_v true_a the_o other_o be_v false_a and_o that_o i_o must_v leave_v the_o one_o or_o the_o other_o for_o though_o i_o have_v receive_v the_o new_a i_o can_v never_o full_o quit_v the_o old_a neither_o in_o judgement_n nor_o practice_n then_o i_o be_v restless_a in_o my_o desire_n for_o three_o or_o four_o day_n to_o know_v which_o of_o the_o two_o be_v truth_n oft_o time_n earnest_o beg_v of_o god_n that_o he_o will_v decide_v the_o controversy_n and_o discover_v to_o i_o which_o be_v according_a to_o his_o mind_n and_o which_o not_o be_v full_o satisfy_v that_o but_o one_o of_o they_o can_v be_v truth_n than_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o put_v i_o upon_o a_o particular_a examination_n what_o ground_n i_o have_v in_o scripture_n and_o what_o experience_n i_o have_v of_o both_o &_o in_o read_v and_o examine_v my_o scripture-ground_n i_o begin_v to_o discern_v a_o great_a inclination_n in_o my_o heart_n to_o the_o former_a principle_n find_v i_o think_v the_o scripture_n very_o full_a and_o plain_a for_o they_o but_o nothing_o for_o the_o other_o but_o what_o be_v from_o some_o dark_a mysterious_a interpretation_n which_o be_v very_o doubtful_a and_o for_o my_o own_o experience_n i_o do_v remember_v and_o be_v constrain_v to_o acknowledge_v that_o in_o receive_v and_o keep_v close_o to_o the_o fotmer_n i_o have_v joy_n and_o peace_n and_o much_o satisfaction_n and_o communion_n with_o god_n but_o since_o i_o receive_v the_o other_o the_o lord_n have_v as_o it_o be_v hide_v his_o face_n from_o i_o and_o i_o be_v fill_v with_o confusion_n and_o distraction_n and_o the_o remembrance_n of_o that_o trial_n i_o have_v of_o they_o upon_o the_o sea_n do_v very_o much_o help_v i_o now_o to_o see_v the_o falsity_n of_o they_o that_o in_o a_o time_n of_o trial_n i_o dare_v not_o stick_v to_o they_o as_o indeed_o i_o plain_o see_v that_o i_o can_v never_o stick_v to_o they_o so_o as_o to_o answer_v they_o full_o in_o my_o practice_n unless_o i_o shall_v have_v lay_v aside_o the_o appearance_n of_o godliness_n &_o have_v be_v very_o profane_a the_o consideration_n of_o which_o with_o some_o other_o evil_a consequence_n which_o i_o see_v clear_o do_v natural_o attend_v those_o thing_n be_v another_o mean_n by_o which_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o recover_v i_o from_o they_o and_o to_o discover_v satan_n under_o his_o veil_n to_o i_o how_o by_o these_o thing_n he_o do_v intend_v if_o the_o lord_n have_v not_o prevent_v he_o to_o have_v strip_v i_o of_o all_o my_o hope_n and_o in_o particular_a as_o to_o that_o of_o be_v save_v by_o a_o christ_n within_o and_o not_o by_o a_o christ_n without_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o it_o be_v quite_o another_o thing_n differ_v from_o the_o gospel_n and_o that_o it_o be_v attend_v with_o this_o evil_a consequence_n even_o to_o overthrow_v the_o whole_a gospel_n and_o to_o deny_v the_o lord_n that_o buy_v they_o at_o the_o thought_n of_o which_o my_o soul_n do_v tremble_v and_o that_o if_o he_o shall_v have_v prevail_v here_o all_o my_o hope_n be_v go_v for_o i_o can_v not_o nor_o dare_v not_o rest_v on_o any_o thing_n in_o myself_o as_o a_o ground_n of_o hope_n for_o life_n and_o salvation_n but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n concern_v my_o hope_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n according_a to_o the_o gospel_n i_o can_v true_o say_v of_o that_o as_o peter_n do_v john_n 6._o 68_o lord_n whither_o shall_v we_o go_v thou_o have_v the_o word_n of_o eternal_a life_n so_o whither_o shall_v i_o go_v from_o the_o gospel_n there_o be_v the_o word_n of_o eternal_a life_n there_o be_v all_o my_o rest_n and_o hope_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n through_o the_o gospel_n and_o therefore_o i_o resolve_v in_o the_o strength_n of_o christ_n to_o stick_v to_o this_o and_o leave_v the_o other_o then_o second_o as_o to_o that_o of_o wait_v for_o a_o power_n to_o pray_v and_o that_o there_o be_v no_o command_n but_o from_o within_o concern_v both_o these_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o it_o be_v not_o according_a to_o his_o mind_n but_o a_o mere_a invention_n of_o satan_n by_o degree_n to_o draw_v i_o from_o my_o duty_n and_o that_o it_o be_v attend_v with_o this_o evil_a consequence_n even_o to_o slight_v the_o scripture_n and_o command_n of_o god_n and_o to_o expose_v the_o soul_n to_o satan_n deceive_n to_o walk_v by_o the_o imagination_n of_o their_o own_o heart_n instead_o of_o the_o motion_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o also_o it_o bring_v the_o soul_n into_o great_a uncertainty_n which_o the_o truth_n never_o do_v but_o on_o the_o other_o hand_n to_o do_v duty_n in_o obedience_n to_o the_o authority_n and_o command_n of_o god_n in_o scripture_n and_o to_o pray_v at_o all_o time_n as_o we_o have_v opportunity_n have_v receive_v a_o principle_n of_o grace_n by_o which_o we_o be_v make_v capable_a of_o prayer_n i_o see_v this_o be_v a_o clear_a and_o sound_a truth_n not_o be_v attend_v with_o any_o evil_a consequence_n nor_o bring_v the_o soul_n into_o strait_n and_o uncertainty_n but_o rather_o give_v enlargement_n in_o every_o condition_n and_o therefore_o i_o desire_v likewise_o to_o keep_v close_o to_o these_o and_o leave_v the_o other_o but_o oh_o the_o joy_n and_o comfort_n that_o be_v in_o my_o soul_n at_o this_o return_n i_o can_v express_v it_o but_o this_o i_o say_v it_o be_v to_o i_o as_o life_n from_o the_o dead_a and_o as_o i_o be_v blessing_n praise_v and_o magnifi_n the_o lord_n for_o his_o unchangeable_a goodness_n to_o i_o my_o husband_n have_v be_v some_o time_n from_o i_o come_v home_o to_o who_o i_o do_v declare_v my_o
condition_n and_o what_o the_o lord_n have_v do_v for_o i_o who_o as_o i_o have_v former_o hint_v be_v much_o in_o the_o same_o condition_n with_o i_o who_o also_o declare_v that_o he_o have_v in_o a_o measure_n receive_v the_o like_a mercy_n which_o do_v much_o increase_v my_o joy_n then_o i_o remember_v he_o desire_v we_o may_v seek_v the_o lord_n by_o prayer_n and_o praise_v his_o holy_a name_n for_o these_o and_o all_o his_o mercy_n in_o which_o duty_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v so_o abundant_o to_o manifest_v himself_o to_o we_o thereby_o testify_v his_o acceptance_n of_o we_o that_o for_o a_o while_o we_o sit_v in_o admiration_n neither_o of_o we_o scarce_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v for_o tear_n and_o true_o it_o be_v such_o a_o mercy_n that_o i_o trust_v we_o shall_v for_o ever_o admire_v it_o at_o least_o in_o these_o five_o particular_n first_o that_o god_n shall_v deal_v so_o faithful_o with_o we_o in_o relation_n to_o his_o promise_n that_o when_o we_o be_v ready_a to_o turn_v to_o the_o right_a hand_n or_o to_o the_o left_a he_o cause_v we_o to_o hear_v his_o voice_n behind_o we_o say_v this_o be_v the_o way_n walk_v in_o it_o esay_n 30._o 21._o second_o that_o when_o we_o be_v stray_v from_o truth_n that_o the_o lord_n shall_v keep_v we_o that_o we_o stray_v no_o further_a that_o we_o do_v not_o run_v to_o the_o height_n of_o those_o notion_n deny_v the_o church_n and_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n and_o blaspheme_v the_o truth_n as_o very_o many_o do_v in_o those_o time_n even_o deny_v the_o lord_n that_o buy_v they_o three_o that_o the_o lord_n shall_v deal_v so_o fatherly_a and_o tender_o in_o his_o restore_n of_o we_o that_o it_o be_v not_o by_o any_o extraordinary_a affliction_n or_o chastisement_n neither_o be_v we_o at_o any_o time_n a_o trouble_n to_o the_o church_n or_o grief_n to_o any_o saint_n i_o know_v of_o four_o that_o the_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o bring_v we_o off_o so_o clear_o from_o those_o thing_n for_o many_o be_v bring_v off_o from_o they_o and_o yet_o there_o be_v still_o so_o much_o confusion_n remain_v upon_o their_o spirit_n that_o it_o be_v hard_o to_o discern_v whether_o they_o be_v bring_v off_o or_o no._n five_o that_o the_o lord_n shall_v vouchsafe_v this_o mercy_n to_o both_o of_o we_o &_o that_o at_o one_o &_o the_o same_o time_n and_o that_o at_o our_o return_n he_o shall_v manifest_v such_o a_o sweet_a acceptance_n of_o we_o melt_v our_o heart_n into_o tear_n of_o joy_n to_o our_o mutual_a comfort_n in_o the_o lord_n and_o in_o each_o other_o and_o so_o that_o stream_n of_o our_o heart_n be_v now_o turn_v from_o run_v after_o lie_a vanity_n the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o re-establish_a and_o confirm_v we_o every_o day_n more_o and_o more_o in_o the_o truth_n turn_v this_o sad_a yet_o bless_v experience_n to_o his_o praise_n and_o our_o great_a advantage_n the_o remembrance_n of_o which_o i_o trust_v shall_v be_v a_o mercy_n that_o shall_v stand_v we_o in_o stead_n at_o time_n of_o need_n while_o we_o live_v which_o the_o lord_n grant_v it_o may_v be_v so_o to_o the_o honour_n and_o praise_n of_o his_o great_a name_n and_o our_o own_o peace_n and_o happiness_n in_o himself_o amen_n some_o further_a consideration_n relate_v to_o this_o part_n of_o my_o experience_n it_o be_v that_o which_o i_o judge_v so_o considerable_a i_o can_v omit_v the_o review_v of_o it_o and_o the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v review_v it_o daily_o so_o as_o to_o have_v my_o heart_n raise_v to_o a_o holy_a admiration_n of_o the_o goodness_n and_o faithfulness_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o in_o it_o and_o that_o it_o may_v always_o lie_v as_o a_o strong_a engagement_n upon_o my_o heart_n to_o love_n and_o obey_v he_o in_o all_o thing_n which_o in_o consideration_n of_o his_o unspeakable_a mercy_n be_v but_o my_o reasonable_a service_n rom._n 12._o 1._o and_o as_o i_o desire_v for_o ever_o to_o bless_v the_o lord_n that_o he_o be_v please_v to_o deliver_v i_o from_o these_o deceit_n so_o it_o shall_v be_v my_o prayer_n that_o all_o the_o lord_n people_n may_v be_v deliver_v from_o they_o and_o that_o the_o rather_o because_o i_o be_o persuade_v that_o error_n of_o that_o nature_n be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o and_o doubtless_o they_o be_v the_o great_a mystery_n of_o iniquity_n that_o ever_o satan_n have_v on_o foot_n in_o the_o world_n but_o because_o i_o be_o not_o willing_a to_o pass_v my_o sentence_n without_o ground_n and_o because_o every_o thing_n that_o be_v reprove_v be_v make_v manifest_a by_o the_o light_n and_o that_o which_o do_v make_v manifest_a be_v light_n ephes_n 5._o 13._o i_o desire_v according_a to_o that_o light_n of_o truth_n which_o god_n have_v give_v to_o i_o far_o to_o consider_v not_o only_o in_o general_a that_o those_o kind_n of_o error_n be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o but_o more_o particular_o how_o they_o be_v so_o first_o i_o conceive_v they_o be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o in_o that_o they_o do_v natural_o tend_v and_o lead_v to_o the_o high_a degree_n of_o evil_a and_o that_o both_o as_o they_o take_v with_o gracious_a heart_n and_o as_o they_o take_v with_o carnal_a heart_n first_o as_o they_o take_v with_o gracious_a heart_n they_o do_v natural_o interrupt_v the_o soul_n communion_n with_o god_n and_o expose_v it_o to_o great_a temptation_n bring_v it_o to_o strait_n and_o extremity_n and_o into_o the_o great_a confusion_n that_o can_v be_v possible_a so_o far_o as_o they_o prevail_v and_o for_o the_o truth_n of_o this_o beside_o my_o own_o experience_n i_o appeal_v to_o any_o experience_a christian_a if_o it_o be_v not_o so_o second_o as_o they_o take_v with_o carnal_a heart_n they_o lead_v by_o degree_n to_o the_o great_a evil_n both_o in_o a_o spiritual_a and_o 〈…〉_o vil_fw-ge sense_n for_o such_o hearâ—â—_n not_o be_v season_a wiâ—â—_n grace_n they_o run_v from_o onâ—_n notion_n to_o another_o till_o they_o run_v so_o high_a as_o to_o stand_v direct_o in_o opposition_n to_o christ_n and_o his_o gospel_n for_o when_o they_o come_v to_o be_v confound_v and_o at_o a_o loss_n in_o their_o judgement_n and_o meet_v with_o such_o temptation_n which_o those_o error_n natural_o lead_v to_o they_o be_v overcome_v by_o they_o and_o under_o a_o pretence_n of_o live_v above_o ordinance_n they_o deny_v the_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n and_o by_o degree_n the_o whole_a word_n of_o god_n call_v it_o literal_a and_o carnal_a use_v under_o a_o pretence_n of_o spirituality_n blaspheme_v the_o name_n â—f_n christ_n call_v he_o a_o fleshly_a christ_n and_o so_o deny_v the_o lord_n that_o buy_v they_o 2_o pet._n 2._o 1._o and_o go_v against_o such_o strong_a conviction_n and_o clear_a manifestation_n of_o light_n and_o knowledge_n as_o some_o have_v do_v doubtless_o they_o have_v fall_v into_o that_o unpardonable_a sin_n express_v in_o heb._n 10._o and_o so_o come_v at_o last_o to_o jeer_v and_o scoff_n at_o all_o appearance_n of_o godliness_n and_o it_o make_v way_n for_o the_o high_a degree_n of_o wickedness_n also_o in_o a_o civil_a sense_n have_v give_v themselves_o up_o to_o work_v all_o uncleanness_n with_o greediness_n esay_n 4._o 19_o and_o so_o break_v all_o bond_n though_o they_o have_v escape_v the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n through_o the_o knowledge_n of_o our_o lord_n yet_o be_v again_o entangle_v therein_o their_o latter_a end_n be_v worse_a than_o the_o beginning_n 2_o pet._n 2._o 20._o according_a to_o that_o mat._n 13._o 43_o 44_o 45._o when_o the_o unclean_a spirit_n be_v go_v out_o of_o a_o man_n he_o walk_v through_o dry_a place_n seek_v rest_n and_o find_v none_o than_o he_o return_v and_o take_v seven_o other_o spirit_n more_o wicked_a than_o himself_o and_o they_o enter_v in_o and_o dwell_v there_o and_o the_o last_o state_n of_o that_o man_n be_v worse_a than_o the_o beginning_n he_o be_v now_o far_o more_o wicked_a than_o ever_o this_o be_v the_o nature_n and_o these_o be_v the_o effect_n of_o those_o kind_n of_o notion_n as_o they_o take_v with_o carnal_a heart_n and_o that_o it_o be_v so_o i_o appeal_v to_o the_o time_n in_o which_o we_o live_v if_o we_o have_v not_o see_v it_o so_o with_o many_o who_o have_v escape_v the_o pollution_n of_o the_o world_n and_o that_o evil_a spirit_n seem_v to_o be_v go_v out_o of_o they_o and_o they_o have_v make_v large_a profession_n of_o the_o power_n of_o truth_n in_o their_o heart_n but_o they_o be_v turn_v with_o the_o dog_n to_o his_o vomit_n and_o with_o the_o sow_n that_o be_v wash_v to_o she_o wallow_v in_o the_o mire_n glory_v in_o their_o shame_n and_o do_v that_o without_o any_o reluctancy_n which_o they_o will_v have_v tremble_v at_o the_o thought_n of_o before_o they_o have_v those_o
truth_n another_o reason_n why_o many_o saint_n be_v so_o deceive_v in_o those_o day_n as_o i_o apprehend_v be_v that_o they_o be_v but_o new_o come_v to_o the_o faith_n be_v expose_v to_o great_a temptation_n have_v but_o little_a mean_n of_o strength_n against_o they_o it_o may_v be_v far_o from_o a_o church_n or_o else_o in_o a_o church_n where_o be_v false_a teacher_n as_o in_o those_o day_n there_o be_v very_o many_o by_o reason_n of_o which_o many_o be_v deceive_v whereas_o other_o who_o be_v as_o weak_a if_o not_o weak_a be_v in_o church_n where_o there_o be_v sound_a teacher_n be_v keep_v from_o they_o which_o may_v be_v a_o caution_n as_o to_o particular_a person_n to_o take_v heed_n what_o and_o who_o they_o hear_v so_o to_o church_n who_o they_o permit_v to_o be_v teacher_n and_o not_o to_o suffer_v any_o unsound_a doctrine_n to_o be_v teach_v it_o may_v also_o be_v a_o word_n of_o remembrance_n to_o all_o that_o do_v enjoy_v this_o great_a mercy_n to_o have_v sound_a and_o faithful_a teacher_n high_o to_o esteem_v they_o for_o their_o work_n sake_n and_o to_o account_v such_o worthy_a of_o double_a honour_n give_v they_o all_o due_a respect_n and_o encouragement_n that_o they_o may_v do_v their_o work_n with_o joy_n and_o not_o with_o grief_n according_a to_o hebrew_n 13._o 17._o 1_o thessaly_n 5._o 12_o 13._o 1_o timothy_n 5._o 17._o other_o reason_n may_v be_v give_v for_o the_o saint_n mistake_v in_o those_o thing_n but_o i_o shall_v mention_v no_o more_o intend_v only_o my_o own_o experience_n for_o i_o can_v true_o say_v that_o upon_o a_o diligent_a search_n and_o enquiry_n what_o may_v be_v the_o cause_n of_o my_o own_o mistake_n i_o find_v they_o to_o be_v no_o other_o but_o these_o very_a thing_n express_v as_o first_o i_o be_v weak_a in_o principle_n as_o indeed_o i_o have_v never_o be_v under_o much_o mean_n to_o be_v otherwise_o second_o i_o be_o conscious_a to_o myself_o of_o some_o extreme_a in_o mind_v truth_n as_o it_o relate_v to_o the_o inward_a man_n though_o true_o i_o know_v not_o that_o i_o do_v slight_v any_o ordinance_n or_o command_n of_o christ_n but_o that_o i_o do_v rather_o high_o esteem_v of_o they_o but_o not_o to_o lessen_v sin_n it_o be_v possible_a there_o may_v be_v something_o of_o that_o nature_n though_o i_o know_v it_o not_o three_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o be_v expose_v to_o great_a temptation_n of_o this_o kind_n have_v little_a mean_n of_o strength_n against_o they_o find_v so_o many_o corrupt_a though_o through_o mercy_n it_o be_v better_a now_o that_o breach_n be_v make_v up_o with_o great_a advantage_n for_o which_o i_o desire_v with_o all_o saint_n to_o praise_v the_o lord_n for_o ever_o for_o doubtless_o the_o saint_n advantage_n in_o their_o enlarge_a experience_n and_o confirmation_n in_o the_o truth_n be_v so_o great_a by_o these_o thing_n that_o i_o can_v express_v it_o again_o it_o call_v for_o praise_n that_o as_o the_o lord_n have_v turn_v it_o to_o our_o great_a advantage_n so_o he_o have_v wonderful_o disappoint_v the_o expectation_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o wicked_a man_n who_o be_v ready_a to_o say_v as_o in_o psa_n 35._o 25._o all_o so_o will_v we_o have_v it_o very_o conclude_v that_o though_o they_o can_v not_o suppress_v we_o by_o their_o persecute_v power_n yet_o now_o we_o will_v destroy_v ourselves_o as_o indeed_o we_o may_v have_v so_o do_v have_v not_o the_o lord_n prevent_v and_o we_o may_v say_v it_o be_v the_o lord_n do_v and_o it_o be_v marvellous_a in_o our_o eye_n and_o whereas_o some_o by_o reason_n of_o those_o thing_n have_v be_v ready_a to_o question_v our_o practice_n whether_o it_o be_v of_o god_n let_v they_o know_v that_o there_o be_v no_o ground_n from_o thence_o to_o question_v it_o see_v it_o be_v no_o more_o than_o what_o have_v be_v in_o those_o church_n in_o the_o apostle_n day_n and_o what_o they_o do_v foretell_v shall_v be_v in_o these_o day_n 1_o corinth_n 15._o 12._o 1_o timothy_n 1._o 19_o 2_o timothy_n 2._o 18._o 2_o peter_n 2._o 12._o act_n 20._o 30._o but_o if_o it_o be_v a_o safe_a ground_n to_o judge_v of_o truth_n by_o what_o have_v appear_v in_o relation_n to_o those_o thing_n than_o there_o be_v more_o ground_n of_o confirmation_n that_o what_o we_o practise_v be_v of_o god_n see_v that_o notwithstanding_o those_o thing_n we_o have_v be_v so_o wonderful_o preserve_v as_o we_o be_v unto_o this_o day_n but_o though_o these_o thing_n may_v be_v something_o as_o to_o the_o ignorant_a yet_o yet_o the_o rule_n by_o which_o we_o judge_v of_o our_o practice_n be_v only_o as_o it_o have_v its_o ground_n and_o rise_v in_o holy_a scripture_n be_v build_v upon_o the_o foundation_n of_o the_o apostle_n and_o prophet_n jesus_n christ_n himself_o be_v the_o chief_a corner_n stone_n therefore_o it_o have_v never_o be_v any_o scruple_n at_o all_o to_o i_o for_o though_o some_o have_v deny_v the_o church_n and_o turn_v their_o ear_n from_o hear_v the_o truth_n and_o have_v turn_v to_o fable_n yet_o the_o church_n and_o truth_n be_v the_o same_o as_o god_n be_v the_o same_o now_o as_o for_o the_o ground_n or_o reason_n why_o some_o of_o the_o saint_n themselves_o have_v so_o do_v i_o shall_v say_v nothing_o because_o as_o i_o say_v before_o i_o intend_v no_o more_o but_o my_o own_o experience_n and_o through_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n i_o be_v never_o so_o far_o corrupt_v as_o to_o question_v either_o the_o scripture_n church_n or_o ordinance_n of_o christ_n much_o less_o to_o withdraw_v from_o they_o or_o to_o give_v any_o just_a occasion_n to_o be_v withdraw_v from_o by_o they_o yet_o notwithstanding_o i_o do_v not_o in_o the_o least_o question_n the_o reality_n of_o those_o poor_a soul_n who_o have_v be_v so_o far_o overcome_v and_o be_v through_o mercy_n again_o return_v and_o as_o for_o such_o as_o never_o return_v i_o shall_v leave_v they_o to_o be_v judge_v by_o the_o lord_n who_o only_o be_v the_o judge_n of_o those_o that_o be_v without_o 1_o cor._n 5._o 13._o have_v thus_o far_o consider_v of_o these_o allegorical_a notion_n how_o they_o be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o error_n and_o the_o great_a mystery_n of_o iniquity_n in_o that_o they_o be_v more_o deceive_a than_o other_o promise_v the_o great_a good_a but_o lead_v direct_o to_o the_o great_a evil_n and_o have_v give_v some_o reason_n as_o i_o judge_v why_o the_o saint_n in_o these_o day_n have_v be_v so_o general_o deceive_v by_o they_o i_o shall_v further_o proceed_v to_o consider_v what_o may_v be_v the_o end_n of_o god_n in_o permit_v it_o so_o to_o be_v first_o i_o conceive_v it_o may_v be_v in_o general_a that_o such_o as_o be_v approve_v may_v be_v make_v manifest_a agreeable_a to_o 1_o cor._n 11._o 9_o which_o according_o have_v be_v many_o by_o those_o thing_n be_v make_v manifest_a to_o be_v approve_v though_o other_o that_o be_v not_o have_v appear_v to_o be_v what_o they_o be_v but_o second_o and_o more_o particular_o i_o believe_v the_o lord_n have_v many_o good_a end_n in_o it_o both_o in_o relation_n to_o himself_o in_o relation_n to_o they_o and_o in_o relation_n to_o other_o of_o his_o people_n it_o may_v be_v some_o that_o be_v yet_o unborn_a first_o in_o relation_n to_o himself_o for_o the_o exaltation_n of_o his_o praise_n that_o when_o they_o shall_v come_v to_o see_v how_o great_a their_o deliverance_n be_v and_o what_o a_o addition_n to_o all_o their_o former_a mercy_n they_o may_v admire_v his_o goodness_n and_o break_v forth_o into_o the_o high_a praise_n of_o his_o name_n and_o that_o all_o the_o day_n of_o their_o life_n when_o this_o mercy_n come_v into_o their_o thought_n for_o my_o own_o particular_a i_o can_v true_o say_v that_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n to_o i_o in_o relation_n to_o those_o thing_n i_o look_v upon_o it_o as_o the_o great_a mercy_n that_o ever_o i_o receive_v from_o the_o lord_n next_o the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n in_o jesus_n christ_n through_o the_o gospel_n but_o second_o in_o relation_n to_o they_o so_o deceive_v that_o they_o shall_v have_v enlarge_v experience_n of_o the_o fullness_n of_o god_n and_o of_o their_o own_o nothingness_n and_o of_o the_o sweetness_n and_o excellency_n of_o truth_n above_o error_n how_o it_o do_v excel_v it_o as_o far_o as_o light_n excel_v darkness_n and_o live_v more_o upon_o god_n and_o less_o upon_o themselves_o in_o faith_n and_o humility_n and_o in_o the_o increase_n of_o all_o grace_n in_o more_o cleverness_n of_o understanding_n and_o knowledge_n of_o the_o truth_n for_o doubtless_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v promise_v to_o do_v his_o people_n good_a by_o every_o thing_n they_o do_v gain_v by_o it_o in_o all_o these_o in_o some_o measure_n
for_o my_o own_o particular_a i_o must_v needs_o say_v though_o i_o be_o still_o but_o weak_a yet_o through_o mercy_n my_o gain_n by_o those_o thing_n be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o will_v not_o be_v without_o it_o though_o i_o desire_v not_o to_o purchase_v any_o more_o at_o that_o rate_n three_o in_o relation_n to_o other_o that_o through_o their_o experience_n they_o may_v be_v the_o more_o able_a to_o forewarn_v other_o who_o may_v meet_v with_o the_o like_a temptation_n for_o certain_o have_v the_o saint_n in_o those_o day_n have_v that_o experience_n of_o satan_n working_n in_o that_o nature_n which_o now_o they_o have_v and_o have_v the_o mouth_n of_o truth_n be_v so_o open_a against_o it_o as_o it_o be_v at_o this_o day_n it_o will_v doubtless_o have_v prevent_v much_o and_o therefore_o by_o the_o way_n i_o must_v needs_o say_v i_o be_o persuade_v it_o will_v be_v a_o great_a aggravation_n of_o sin_n for_o any_o to_o be_v take_v or_o hold_v by_o those_o thing_n when_o there_o be_v so_o much_o mean_n to_o avoid_v they_o as_o through_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n there_o be_v in_o these_o day_n almost_o in_o every_o place_n now_o the_o lord_n have_v these_o and_o other_o such_o like_a end_n in_o permit_v those_o thing_n i_o desire_v that_o myself_o with_o other_o who_o have_v experience_v they_o in_o any_o measure_n may_v be_v careful_a to_o answer_v those_o end_n for_o doubtless_o if_o our_o deliverance_n be_v of_o god_n and_o that_o we_o be_v clear_o bring_v off_o from_o those_o confusion_n we_o shall_v answer_v all_o those_o end_n of_o god_n in_o some_o measure_n in_o the_o next_o place_n as_o to_o the_o way_n and_o mean_n by_o which_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o recover_v his_o people_n from_o these_o thing_n i_o shall_v say_v little_a because_o i_o believe_v it_o have_v be_v various_a some_o by_o one_o mean_n some_o by_o another_o as_o they_o be_v in_o various_a condition_n for_o my_o own_o particular_a i_o have_v declare_v at_o large_a how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o only_o these_o general_n head_n i_o shall_v again_o remind_v first_o i_o be_v bring_v into_o great_a strait_n and_o much_o confusion_n in_o judgement_n second_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o withdraw_v his_o presence_n from_o i_o three_o be_v sensible_a of_o that_o confusion_n and_o want_v of_o communion_n with_o god_n i_o be_v put_v upon_o enquiry_n into_o my_o own_o heart_n what_o may_v be_v the_o reason_n of_o it_o four_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o make_v i_o willing_a to_o be_v inform_v and_o to_o examine_v thing_n by_o the_o scripture_n five_o he_o be_v please_v to_o draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n with_o much_o earnestness_n to_o seek_v to_o he_o by_o prayer_n which_o through_o great_a mercy_n be_v large_o answer_v and_o thus_o i_o doubt_v not_o but_o by_o what_o i_o have_v write_v it_o will_v appear_v that_o i_o have_v not_o without_o good_a ground_n both_o from_o scripture_n and_o experience_n judge_v those_o thing_n to_o be_v the_o greated_a mystery_n of_o iniquity_n and_o the_o most_o dangerous_a and_o worst_a of_o all_o error_n and_o here_o i_o can_v but_o mind_v something_o further_o as_o to_o the_o continuation_n of_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v as_o they_o be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o so_o their_o time_n be_v short_a for_o according_a to_o my_o most_o serious_a observation_n wherever_o they_o come_v and_o where_o they_o continue_v long_a their_o rise_n reign_n and_o ruin_n be_v all_o accomplish_a in_o a_o few_o year_n for_o in_o a_o short_a time_n general_o person_n have_v be_v so_o confound_v that_o they_o have_v either_o come_v to_o see_v themselves_o delude_v and_o so_o have_v turn_v from_o they_o or_o else_o they_o have_v run_v to_o absolute_a atheism_n and_o so_o end_v there_o i_o shall_v now_o only_o answer_v one_o objection_n as_o to_o my_o own_o experience_n and_o so_o end_v this_o discourse_n some_o have_v say_v that_o i_o can_v judge_v of_o these_o thing_n by_o experience_n because_o according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v declare_v i_o never_o have_v but_o little_a experience_n of_o they_o but_o only_o in_o three_o or_o four_o thing_n and_o those_o i_o can_v never_o full_o come_v up_o to_o neither_o in_o judgement_n nor_o practice_v neither_o can_v i_o leave_v these_o outward_a thing_n which_o all_o must_v leave_v before_o they_o can_v see_v the_o glory_n of_o the_o inward_a and_o those_o that_o have_v not_o put_v themselves_o on_o such_o thing_n but_o be_v lead_v to_o they_o by_o the_o father_n have_v and_o do_v see_v that_o glory_n this_o objection_n have_v specious_a word_n but_o weigh_v in_o the_o balance_n of_o the_o sanctuary_n will_v be_v find_v light_a than_o vanity_n with_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o like_a nature_n which_o i_o hope_v be_v already_o make_v manifest_a only_o i_o shall_v add_v a_o few_o word_n by_o way_n of_o answer_n first_o for_o my_o experience_n as_o to_o myself_o in_o particular_a i_o confess_v through_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n it_o be_v far_o short_a of_o that_o which_o many_o precious_a one_o in_o those_o day_n fall_v into_o yet_o i_o can_v true_o say_v it_o be_v so_o much_o as_o do_v clear_o discover_v to_o i_o the_o nature_n and_o tendency_n of_o they_o all_o to_o be_v so_o vile_a that_o i_o i_o do_v not_o know_v any_o thing_n that_o ever_o i_o do_v since_o i_o know_v god_n that_o i_o can_v own_v with_o more_o shame_n to_o myself_o than_o those_o thing_n second_o for_o my_o experience_n as_o to_o other_o i_o have_v see_v and_o know_v that_o sufficient_o to_o satisfy_v i_o that_o there_o be_v no_o such_o glory_n in_o they_o but_o a_o mere_a delusion_n but_o i_o desire_v to_o judge_v by_o experience_n no_o otherwise_o than_o as_o it_o have_v relation_n to_o the_o holy_a scripture_n for_o though_o i_o do_v very_o high_o esteem_v of_o christian_a experience_n as_o to_o the_o operation_n and_o effect_n of_o truth_n in_o the_o soul_n as_o indeed_o it_o be_v the_o very_a life_n of_o christianity_n yet_o as_o to_o rule_v i_o value_v one_o word_n of_o scripture_n more_o than_o all_o experience_n and_o i_o be_o sure_a the_o scripture_n will_v not_o own_v they_o which_o be_v the_o rule_n and_o touchstone_n by_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o try_v and_o judge_v all_o thing_n for_o that_o which_o the_o scripture_n set_v up_o they_o throw_v down_o and_o that_o which_o the_o scripture_n forbid_v they_o set_v up_o for_o instance_n the_o scripture_n exalt_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n in_o all_o his_o action_n office_n and_o ordinance_n they_o set_v up_o something_o else_o in_o opposition_n to_o this_o calling_z it_o fleshly_a carnal_a and_o outward_a thing_n and_o for_o the_o father_n lead_v person_n to_o they_o which_o word_n carry_v indeed_o a_o seem_a show_n of_o excellency_n but_o it_o be_v a_o mere_a delusion_n there_o be_v no_o such_o thing_n for_o the_o father_n and_o christ_n be_v one_o and_o what_o be_v appoint_v by_o christ_n be_v appoint_v by_o the_o father_n john_n 10._o 3._o &_o 14._o 24._o and_o he_o do_v not_o lead_v from_o his_o own_o appointment_n but_o those_o that_o continue_v in_o they_o he_o will_v love_v and_o he_o will_v send_v his_o spirit_n to_o they_o which_o shall_v abide_v with_o they_o for_o ever_o joh._n 14._o 16._o and_o the_o father_n and_o christ_n will_v come_v to_o they_o and_o make_v their_o abode_n with_o they_o verse_n 23._o i_o have_v already_o write_v that_o which_o may_v more_o full_o answer_v this_o objection_n shall_v say_v no_o more_o but_o desire_v that_o all_o the_o lord_n people_n may_v be_v deliver_v and_o keep_v from_o such_o deceive_n the_o sixth_o note_n of_o experience_n in_o relation_n to_o qualification_n the_o habit_n of_o grace_n or_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n how_o and_o by_o what_o mean_v i_o have_v and_o do_v daily_o find_v a_o increase_n or_o decrease_v in_o those_o thing_n to_o make_v way_n for_o i_o to_o lay_v down_o my_o thought_n as_o to_o gracious_a qualification_n i_o shall_v first_o consider_v the_o several_a kind_n of_o qualification_n which_o i_o conceive_v may_v be_v three_o 1._o moral_a 2._o legal_a 3._o gospel_n by_o moral_a i_o mean_v such_o as_o be_v from_o moral_a dictate_v mere_o from_o nature_n civility_n breed_v or_o education_n by_o legal_a i_o mean_v such_o as_o be_v from_o legal_a dictate_v mere_o from_o fear_n of_o wrath_n without_o any_o clear_a apprehension_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n but_o here_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v very_o tender_a judge_v that_o it_o be_v possible_a there_o may_v be_v some_o seed_n of_o the_o gospel_n sow_v in_o such_o heart_n by_o which_o those_o qualification_n may_v be_v wrought_v though_o as_o yet_o it_o may_v not_o appear_v neither_o to_o themselves_o nor_o other_o that_o they_o have_v receive_v