will as to make a crooked body straight Ex. Scene 9. Enter Sir Thomas Father Love bringing in the Auditours into a large roome nobly furnished where at one end or side is a place raised and railed with guilt rayles for the Lady Sanspareille to stand on FAther Love Gentlemen pray do not think me rude by drawing you from your serious studies by an intruding invitation to hear a young student discourse 1. Philosopher 'T is true Sir we should have been glad to have heard you discourse for you might instruct us where as a young student is rather to be instructed for it is time that brings knowledg or gets wit or speakes eloquently Father Love 'T is true but yet in some naturall ingenuity it is as strong as time and produceth that which time of it selfe could not do 2. Philosopher Sir if your young students wit be as fine as her standing place it will be delightfull 3. Philosopher Sir you have adorned her Theater to inthrone her wit Father Gentlemen I wish her wit may furnish and so adorn your understanding but if you please to sit such as it is shall be presented to you Being all placed the Lady Sanspereille enters upon the mounted place drest all in black fit for the gravity of the Company The Company upon her entrance seems to be struck with amaze of her beauty they speak to her Father 1. Philosopher Sir we perceive now you have invited us to feast our eyes not our eares Father Gentlemen if you please to give her so much patience to hear her then judge or censure as you please Then they all cry Whist Whist After the Lady by her Civill bows had given respect to all the Company with a modest and amiable Countenance with a gentle and well pleased eye and a gracefull and winning behaviour thus speaks Lady Sanspareile The Majesty of Age and sage gravity are objects able to put unexperienced and unpracticed youth out of Countenance and bashfullness is the greatest enemy to discourse for it discomposes the Countenance disturbes the thoughts disorders the words and confounds the sence therein but youth hath many times this advantage that it apprehends not the disgrace that experienced years and deeper judgment doth For the truth is bashfullness proceeds from too great an apprehension but I not apprehending far enough may comit errours through a confident ignorance but if you think my confidence too much for my youth yet pray judge not my modesty to litle for my Sex for speaking belongs as much to the Female Sex as to the Masculine so as it be on sober Subjects and to grave Fathers and wise men or intruth to any degree of Age or Sex or Birth so as it be timely suitably rationably and modestly delivered And why may not women speak in publick and to publick assemblies as well as in privat visits and particular entertainments and to particular persons and acquaintance And in reason it should be more commendable that womens discourse and actions are such as they fear no witness Nay they ought never to speak or shew themselves to those persons that are not domestick without sufficient witness for privat discourses which are like whisperings and secret meetings and particular entertainments are subject to loos customs rude behaviours and lascivious discourses mischievous designes and dangerous plots all which takes leave without warrant and assaults without warning yet it is probable this Auditory will think my Father is too indulgent to his Child to let her to make publick Orations or that he is too vain glorious as to believe or hope his Child may get applause or esteem in the world by her discourses But First I must remember them that it is naturall for Parents to be fond of their Children Secondly it is no crime nor indiscretion for a Father to believe or think his Child may have as much wit as any other mans Child if he have given as good education Thirdly it is not against nature and reason but that women may discourse of several subjects as well as men and that they may have as probable opinions and as profitable inventions as fresh fancies as quick wits and as easy expressions as men if their education be answerable to their naturall capacityes and ingenuityes As for my selfe I must tell this assembly I have been bred industriously for I have been instructed with as much knowledg as my yeares was capable to understand but the truth is that my educatours strove to ripen my understanding before the naturall time like those that hastens fruit to be ripe forcing it by artificiall means not staying for the naturall heat of the Sun so was my understanding like as the tree and my wit as the fruit by which it wants the Aromaticall and delicious relish that naturall time gives which makes me fear my wit will relish to the eares of the hearers as such forced fruits to the tast of the eaters I have only this request that though you may dislike it for want of the naturall sweetness yet pray esteem of it for the rarity as being not usuall for one of my years and Sex to speak argue and make Orations in a publick assembly but it is likely this assembly may think this is a vain glorious Prologue to my following discourse But I must tell this worthy grave and learned assembly that I am not bound to follow a vain custome nay I may say a dishonest one as when Oratours do dissemble as on my Conscience most do selfe love being naturall to all besides many times they disgrace their birth by a dissembling humbleness and bely their thoughts knowledge and education when as they say they are unworthy to speak to such an assembly and that they are unlearned their knowledg is little their understanding dull their judgment weak their capacity narrow and that they are unexperienced and unfurnished of expressions to deliver the subject or matter of their discourse if this or the like which they say be true they abuse the Auditory and themselves to invite them or draw them to hear that they think is not worth the listening to and if they be not so as they say they bely the nature and education which heaven forbid I should be so ungratefull to nature so base to my birth so undutifull to my Educatour and so unthankfull to the Gods No no I will not be so for I will publickly acknowledg natures favours who hath given me more wit than time hath given me yeares she hath furnished me with ingenuity beyond an ordinary proportion and hath drawn the plat form of my mind Mathematically and pensiled me with her best coullourd dyes for which I am bound morally to serve her As for my birth as I am of the same kind of Mankind I am equall with the rest let my condition be never so poor I have no reason to be ashamed of the Kind but my birth is Honourable by length of time as for my education it
of the same fault but we have this advantage of men which is that we know this imperfection in our selves although we do not indeavour to mend it but men are so Partial to themselves as not to perceive this imperfection in themselves and so they cannot mend it but in this will not or cannot is as one but this discourse hath brought me to this that if I have spoke at any time to any person or persons impertinently improperly untimely or tediously I ask their pardon but lest I should be impertinently tedious in this Epistle and so commit a fault in asking pardon I leave my Readers to what may be more pleasing to them M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS I Make no question but my Playes will be censured and those Censurors severe but I hope not malicious but they will perchance say that my Playes are too serious by reason there is no rediculous Iest in them nor wanton Love nor Impossibilities also 't is likely they will say that there are no plots nor designs nor subtil Contrivances and the like I answer that the chief Plots of my Playes were to imploy my idle time the designs to please and entertain my Readers and the contrivance was to join edifying Profit and Delight together that my Readers may neither lose their time nor grow weary in the reading but if they find my Playes neither Edifying nor Delightfull I shall be sorry but if they find either I shall be pleased and if they find both I shall much rejoyce that my time hath been imployed to some good use M. N. TO THE READERS WORTHY READERS I Have heard that such Poets that write Playes seldome or never join or sow the several Scenes together they are two several Professions at least not usual for rare Poets to take that pains like as great Taylors the Master only cuts out and shapes and his Iourny-men and Apprentices join and sow them together but I like as a poor Taylor was forced to do all my self as to cut out shape join and sow each several Scene together without any help or direction wherefore I fear they are not so well done but that there will be many faults found but howsoever I did my best indeavour and took great pains in the ordering and joining thereof for which I hope my Learned Readers will pardon the errors therein and excuse me the worker thereof M. N. TO THE READERS NOBLE READERS MY Lord was pleased to illustrate my Playes with some Scenes of his own Wit to which I have set his name that my Readers may know which are his as not to couzen them in thinking they are mine also Songs to which my Lords name is set for I being no Lyrick Poet my Lord supplied that defect of my Brain with the superfluity of his own Brain thus our Wits join as in Matrimony my Lords the Masculine mine the Feminine Wit which is no small glory to me that we are Married Souls Bodies and Brains which is a treble marriage united in one Love which I hope is not in the power of Death to dissolve for Souls may love and Wit may live though Bodies dye M. N. I Must trouble my Noble Readers to write of one thing more which is concerning the Reading of Playes for Playes must be read to the nature of those several humours or passions as are exprest by Writing for they must not read a Scene as they would read a Chapter for Scenes must be read as if they were spoke or Acted Indeed Comedies should be read a Mimick way and the sound of their Voice must be according to the sense of the Scene and as for Tragedies or Tragick Scenes they must not be read in a pueling whining Voice but a sad serious Voice as deploring or complaining but the truth is there are as few good Readers as good Writers indeed an ill Reader is as great a disadvantage to wit as wit can have unless it be ill Acted for then it 't is doubly disgraced both in the Voice and Action whereas in Reading only the voice is imployed but when as a Play is well and skillfully read the very sound of the Voice that enters through the Ears doth present the Actions to the Eyes of the Fancy as lively as if it were really Acted but howsoever Writings must take their Chance and I leave my Playes to Chance and Fortune as well as to Censure and Reading M. N. To the Lady Marchioness of Newcastle upon her Playes TErence and Plautus Wits we now do scorn Their Comick Socks worn out in pieces torn Only their rags of Wit remain as toyes For Pedants to admire to teach School Boyes It is not time hath wasted all their Fame But your high Phancies and your nobler flame Which burnt theirs up in their own ashes lies Nor Phoenix like e'r out of those will rise Old Tragick Buskins now are thrown away When we read your each Passion in each Play No stupid block or stony heart forbears To drown their Cheeks in Seas of salter Tears Such power you have in Tragick Comick stile When for to fetch a tear or make a smile Still at your pleasure all our passions ly Obedient to your pen to laugh or cry So even with the thread of Natures fashion As you play on her heart-strings still of passion So we are all your Subjects in each Play Unwilling willingly still to obey Or have a thought but what you make or draw Us by the power of your wits great law Thus Emperess in Soveraign power yours fits Over the wise and tames Poetick wits W. Newcastle A General Prologue to all my Playes NOBLE Spectators do not think to see Such Playes that 's like Ben Johnsons Alchymie Nor Fox nor Silent Woman for those Playes Did Crown the Author with exceeding praise They were his Master-pieces and were wrought By wits Invention and his labouring thought And his Experience brought Materials store His reading several Authors brought much more What length of time he took those Plays to write I cannot guess not knowing his Wits flight But I have heard Ben Johnsons Playes came forth To the Worlds view as things of a great worth Like Forein Emperors which do appear Unto their Subjects not 'bove once a year So did Ben Johnsons Playes so rarely pass As one might think they long a writing was But my poor Playes like to a common rout Gathers in throngs and heedlesly runs out Like witless Fools or like to Girls and Boyes Goe out to shew new Clothes or such like toyes This shews my Playes have not such store of wit Nor subtil plots they were so quickly writ So quickly writ that I did almost cry For want of work my time for to imploy Sometime for want of work I 'm forc'd to play And idlely to cast my time away Like as poor Labourers all they desire Is to have so much work it might them tire Such difference betwixt each several brain Some labour hard and
plead without speech let me beg your favour to accept of me for your servant and what I want in Language my industrious observance and diligent service shall supply I am a Gentleman my breeding hath been according to my birth and my Estate is sufficient to maintain me according to both As for your Estate I consider it not for were you so poor of fortunes goods as you had nothing to maintain you but what your merit might challenge out of every purse yet if you were mine I should esteem you richer than the whole World and I should love you as Saints love Heaven and adore you equal to a Dietie for I saw so much sweetness of nature nobleness of soul purity of thoughts and innocency of life thorough your Bashfull countenance as my soul is wedded thereunto and my mind so restless therefore that unless I may have hopes to injoy you for my Wife I shall dye Your distracted Servant SERIOUS DUMB Lady Bashfull Now Reformer what say you to this Letter Reformer I say it is a good honest hearty affectionate Letter and upon my life it is the Gentleman I commended so he that looked so seriously on you and your Ladyship may remember I said he viewed you as if he would have looked you thorough and you made answer that you wished he could that he might see you were not so simple as your behaviour made you appear and now your wish is absolved Lady Bashfull VVhat counsel will you give me in this cause Reformer VVhy write him a civil answer Lady Bashfull VVhy should I hold corespondence with any man either by Letter or any other way since I do not intend to marry Reformer Not marry Lady Bashfull No not marry Reformer VVhy so Lady Bashfull Because I am now Mistriss of my self and fortunes and have a free liberty and who that is free if they be wise will make themselves slaves subjecting themselves to anothers humour unless they were fools or mad and knew not how to chose the best and happiest life Reformer You will change this opinion and marry I dare swear Lady Bashfull Indeed I will not swear but I think I shall not for I love an easie peaceable and solitary life which none injoys but single persons for in marriage the life is disturbed with noise and company troublesome imployments vex'd with crosses and restless with cares Besides I could not indure to have Parteners to share of him whom my affections had set a price upon or my merit or beauty or wealth or vertue had bought Reformer So I perceive you would be jealouse if you were married Lady Bashfull Perchance I might have reason but to prevent all inconveniences and discontents I will live a single life Reformer Do what likes you best for I dare not perswade you any way for fear my advice should not prove to the best Exeunt Scene 18. Enter Affectionata and Foster Trusty FOster Trusty Now you are placed according to your desire what wil you command me to do Affectionata Dear Foster Father although I am loth to part from you yet by reason I shall suffer in my estate I must intreat you to return home for my Nurse your wife hath not skill to manage that fortune my Father left me for she knows not how to let Leases to set Lands to receive Rents to repair Ruines to disburst Charges and to order those affairs as they should be ordered which your knowledge industry and wisdom will dispose and order for my advantage Foster Trusty But how if you be discovered Affectionata Why if I should as I hope I shall not yet the Lord Singularity is so noble a person as he will neither use me uncivily not cruelly Foster Trusty All that I fear is if you should be discovered he should use you too civilly Affectionata That were to use me rudely which I am confident he will not do and I am confident that you do believe I will receive no more civillity if you call it so than what honour will allow and approve of Foster Trusty But jealousie will creep into the most confident breasts sometimes yet I dare trust you though I fear him Affectionata I hope there is no cause to fear him or doubt me wherefore dear Father let us go and settle our affairs here that you may return home to order those there Scene 19. Enter Sir Peaceable Studious and the Lady Ignorance his Wife She being undrest her mantle about her as being not well SIr P. Studious In truth wife it is a great misfortune you should be sick this Term-time when the Society is so much increast as it is become a little Common-wealth Lady Ignorance If there be so many they may the better spare me Sir P. Studious 'T is true they can spare your company but how can you want their companies Lady Ignorance You shall be my Intelligencer of their pastimes Sir P. Studious That I will wife but it will be but a dull recreation only to hear a bare relation Lady Ignorance As long as you partake of their present pleasures and pleasant actions what need you take care for me Sir P. Studious Yes but I must in Justice for since you have cured me of a studious Lethargie I ought to do my indeavour to divert your melancholly and there is no such remedy as the Society wherefore dear wife fling off this melancholly sickness or sick melancholly and go amongst them for surely your sickness is in your mind not in your body She cries Sir P. Studious What do you cry Wife who hath angered you Lady Ignorance Why you Sir P. Studious Who I anger'd you I why I would not anger a woman no not my Wife for the whole World If I could possible avoid it which I fear cannot be avoided for if I should please out of your Sex I should be sure to displease another But that is my comfort it is not my fault but dear Wife how have I offended you Lady Ignorance Why did you kiss my maid before my face Sir P. Studious Why did you perswade me Lady Ignorance Did I perswade you to kiss my maid Sir P. Studious No but you did perswade me to be one of the Society and there is kissing and I thought it was as well to kiss your maid before your face as a sociable Lady before your face Lady Ignorance And why do you make love to the Ladies since I suffer none to make love to me Sir P. Studious No for if you did I would fling you to death to be imbraced in his cold arms Besides those actions that are allowable and seemly as manly in men are condemned in women as immodest and unbecoming and dishonourable but talking to you I shall miss of the pleasant sports and therefore if you will go come the Coach is ready Lady Ignorance No I will not go with you Sir P. Studious Then I will go without you Lady Ignorance No pray Husband go no more thither Sir P.
out Here ends my Lord Marquesses FINIS This written by my Lord Marquess THE SECOND PART OF Youths Glory and Deaths Banquet ACT I. Scene 2. Enter the Lord de l'Amour and the Lady Innocence the Lord de l'Amour seems to appear angry LAdy Innocence My Lord what makes you frown on me surely I never willingly offended you Lord de l'Amour But the report I hear of you offends me Lady Innocence I hope my behaviour is not lyable to any aspertion or evil censure for as you have used me civily so I have behaved my self modestly Lord de l'Amour I perceive you are a subtil insinuating young Lady Lady Innocence Think me not subtil for being so brod as not to slight your Love not so uncivil as to scorn your noble favours but strive to merit your worthy affections but if I have erred in my endeavours pray pardon me and if you please to tell me my errour I shall rectify it Lord de l'Amour I hear you will speak more lyes than tell truths Lady Innocence Truly I am too strict a Votary to truth to tell a lye Lord de l'Amour I should be glad you were vowed one of her Order Lady Innocence I am so and have taken the habit of sincerity upon me Lord de l'Amour Tell me truly do you never use to lye Lady Innocence If you have opinion that I never or seldome speak truth let me say what I will you will still believe it is a lye but truly I did never tell a lye as I do know of but did alwayes speak truth Lord de l'Amour I hear to my great grief you have many faults pray mend them Lady Innocence I am sory there are so many ill reports or rather aspersions laid on me as to grieve you but surely youth cannot commit many faults but Age that hath had time to commit faults in but if you can believe my faults surmounts not all accounts I shall desire to know them Lord de l'Amour Examine yourself and you will find them Lady Innocence I shall call a particular Councel and make a General search and what thoughts words or actions I can find guilty or prove Criminal I shall condemn and sacrifice them on the Altar of Repentance and crave mercy and forgiveness Lord de l'Amour Pray do so Ex. Lady Innocence alone 'T is strange his humour should be so suddenly changed from loving professions kind expressions and pleasing smiles to sharp words and angry frowns and that he should seem to love me as much as he did now to believe me so little as it seems he doth I hope it is only the superfluities of his affections that runs into the indiscretion of jealousie Ex. Enter Sanspareile and her Audience As soon as she hath taken her standing place A Messenger Enters Messenger The Queen of Attention is come to be one of your Audience The Company makes a bustle Enter the Queen of Attention and her Train Sir Thomas Father Love kneels down and kisses her hand Queen I am come to hear and see your Daughter whom fame reports to be the wonder of this Age Father It had been more proper and fit for my Daughter to have waited at your Court-Gates untill your Majesty had comanded her into your presence than for your Majesty to come hither to hear and see her but she being a plain bred girle durst not be so bold Queen If your Daughters wit be answerable to her beauty she is a wonder indeed Sanspareile comes off from the place where she stands and makes 3. Obeysances and coming near kneels down and kisses the Queens hand Lady Sanspareile Madam this gracious honour and honourable grace is beyond the management of my young years the evil of my weak confidence and the compass of my little wit and my obscure breeding hath made me so Ignorant that I know not in what manner I should behave or address myself towards your Majesty but if I commit faults in misbehaviour pray impute it to my ignorant youth and not to disobedience Queen I see nothing yet in your behaviour but that you may be not only a pattern for young but also for grave Age to take example from Sanspareile Madam the generosity of your Maiesties Nature the Magnificence of your Majesties mind and the Charity of your Majesties disposition gives an overflowing commendation like to the goodness of the Gods that gives more to the Creature than the Creature can deserve Queen Let me tell you young Lady your speeches are as pleasing to the eare as your beauty is delightfull to the eye Sanspareile Your Majesty is like a Deity can turn or translate words like poor Mortals into a glorified sence like as into a glorified body Queen Sir Thomas Father Love if your Daughter speak at all times and alwayes so eloquently I should not wonder you let her speak in publick Father I beseech your Majesty that you will rather judge me an over fond Father which is natural than a vain opiniatour in that I give her liberty to speak in publick Queen If it were a vanity it might be well forgiven but pray let me hear her speak Sanspareile makes three obeysances as she steps back from the Queen to her standing-place and then ascends Sanspareile Great Queen I nor no other should offer or dare to speak before or to such Supreme persons as your Majesty without a sore premeditation for the words and behaviours of speakers should be fitted to the degrees and qualities Powers Offices and Authorities of the Auditory But your Majesties commands makes that an obedient duty that would otherwayes be a presumption wherefore on the ground of duty I speak at this time before your Majesty but the Royalty of your person the brightnesse of your beauty the fame of your vertues and the glorious splendour of your Majestical Grandeur hath so amazed me that my understanding is as it were blind which will cause my tongue to stagger and my words to run stumbling out of my mouth but I hope your Justice will pardon them For as Divine Justice belongs to the Gods moral Justice to Nature so humane Justice to Monarchial Princes which justice is weighed and measured out according to merit or desert be they good or bad For which Justice Gods and Princes are both feared and loved and Justice is the chief Pillar or upholder of Monarchical States and Common-wealths for without Justice there can be no Government and without Government there can be no Rule and without Rule there can be no peace and where peace is not there will be warrs and warrs causeth ruine and destruction But for the most part those Kingdomes that have arrived to the height of Glory declines or falls to ruine The reason is that a low condition is necessitated and weak wherefore they seek for help to strengthen themselves which makes or rather forces every particular person to associate unite either by Laws of Covenants to which they submit
the Brides dance and the while the Bridal Torches are held in their hands Then a Poet speaks thus to them Speaker What Lines of Light doe from those Torches spin Which winds about those Ladies whiter skin But from their Eyes more Splend'rous Beams doe run As bright as those that issue from the Sun Wherein the lesser Lights wax dull and dim Or like as Minnes in an Ocean swim Enter Mall Mean-bred MAll Mean-bred By your good leave Gentlefolks The Lord Marquiss writ this Scene I am come here to complain of this Hog-grubber Sir Golden Riches who did tempt me with Gold till he had his desire you know all what it is and I like an honest woman as it were kept my word and performed truly as any woman could do Speak canst thou detect me either in word or deed and like a false and covetous wretch as thou art performed nothing with me as thou shouldst have done I am sure of that Is 't not a truth speak coverous wretch speak Sir Gold Rich. Why what did I promise you Mall Mean-bred Why thou didst promise me an hundred pounds in gold shew'd it me and then took it away again nay further thou saidst I should be a Lady and have a great parimanus Coach gilt with neighing Horses and a Coachman with a Postilion to ride afore Nay nay I remember well enough what you said you talkd of Gesemond Pomatum and Roman Gunpowder for my hair and fine gowns and stockings and fine lac'd silk garters and roses shining like Stars God bless us Sir Gold Rich. Did I did I Mall Mean-bred Yes that you did you know what you did and how you did and so do I and Gentlefolks as I am a true woman which he knows I am I never had more than this white fustion wastecoat and three pence to buy me three penyworth of pins for he would allow me no incle to tie it withall and this old flannel peticoat that was his great Grandmothers in Eighty eight I am no two-legg'd creature else Sir Gold Rich. But I bought you velvet to gard it withall Mall Mean-bred Yes that 's true an old black velvet Jerkin without sleeves that had belonged to one of Queen Elizabeth her learned Counsel in the Law of blessed Memory primo of Her Reign and you bought it of an old Broker at Nottingham and as I am a true Christian woman if our Neighbour Botcher could almost few it on it was so mortified Sir Gold Rich. I bought you shooes and ribbons to tie them withall She shewes her shooes Mall Mean-bred Look Gentlefolks a pair of wet-leather shooes that have given me a Cold and two leather points that he calls ribbons like a lying false man Sir Gold Rich. I am sure I bought you stockins and garters Mall Mean-bred Old Doncaster-stockins that I was fain to wash my self with a little borrow'd sope and they were footed with yellow fustion too and the garters he talks of were lists of cloth which a Taylor gave me for my New-years-gift and I cannot chuse but grieve to see his unkindnesse I gave you satisfaction often but you never satisfied me I will take it upon my death Sir Gold Rich. Go Gill Flirt pack away hence Mall Mean-bred Nay that puts me in mind of the Pedlars pack you promis'd me and I never had so much bought as that I might whissle for them but I will follow thee to Hell but I will have something more out of thee than I have had or else I will make all the Town ring of me Enter two Beadles Sir Gold Rich. Here Beadles take her to the Correction-house Bridewell and let her be punished Mall Mean-bred Is it so thou miscreant well I thought to be thy Bride and not Bridewel I never thought it in my conscience Here ends my Lords writing Lord Title Pray stay Enter Thom. Purveyor The Lord Title whispers to Thom. Purveyor then turns to Mall Mean-bred Lord Title Mall although you deceived me and broke your promise you I will not only save you from the punishment you were to suffer at the Correction-house but I will give thee a Husband here lusty Thom. Purveyor to whom for taking thee to Wife I will give him a lease of fifty pounds a year Here Tom take her and go marry her Mall Mean-bred Heaven bless your Honour Tom. Come Mall let us go Wed for fifty pounds a year is better than thy Maiden-head Exeunt FINIS This Scene was written by the Lord Marquiss of Newcastle The First Part of the Play called WITS CABAL The Actors Names Monsieur Heroick Monsieur Tranquillities Peace Monsieur Vain-glorious Monsieur Satyrical Monsieur Censure Monsieur Sensuality Monsieur Inquisitive Monsieur Busie Monsieur Frisk Liberty the Lady Pleasure's Gentleman-Usher Madamoiselle Ambition Madamoiselle Superbe Madamoiselle Pleasure Madamoiselle Bon' Esprit Madamoiselle Faction Grave Temperance Governess to Madamoiselle Pleasure Madamoiselle Portrait Mother Matron Wanton Excess Ease Idle Surfet Waiting-maids to Madamoiselle Pleasure Flattery Madamoiselle Superbe's waiting-maid Servants and others The First Part of the Play called WITS CABAL ACT I. Scene I. Enter Madam Ambition alone Ambition I would my Parents had kept me up as birds in darkness when they are taught to sing Artificial Tunes that my ears only might have been imploy'd and as those Teachers whistle to birds several times so would I have had Tutors to have read to me several Authors as the best Poets the best Historians the best Philosophers Moral and Natural the best Grammarians Arithmeticians Mathematicians Logicians and the like Thus perchance I might have spoke as eloquently upon every subject as Birds sing sweetly several tunes but since my Education hath been so negligent I wish I might do some noble Action such as might raise a monumental Fame on the dead Ashes of my Fore-fathers that my Name might live everlastingly Exit Scene 2. Enter Madamoiselle Superbe and Flattery her Woman Madam Superbe I hate to be compared to an inferiour or to have an inferiour compared to me wherefore if I were Iove I would damn that creature that should compare me to any thing lesse than my self Flattery Your Ladyship is like a Goddess above all comparison wherefore I think there is none worthy to match in Mariage with you unless there were some Masculine Divine Creature on Earth to equal you as surely there is none Superbe I shall not willingly marry unless it were to have a command over my Husband Flattery But Husbands Madam command Wives Superbe Not those that are Divine Creatures Flattery Husbands Madam are Reprobates and regard not Divinity nor worship Earthly Deities Superbe Whilst they are Suters they worship and women command their wooing servants Flattery The truth is all Suters do worship with an Idolatrous zeal but their zeals tire at length as most zeals do and men are content to be commanded whilest they are Courting servants and do obey with an industrious care and with an humble and respectful Demeanor a submissive and awful Countenance
is for the most part obtains it Thus men become slaves to the distaff for quietness sake otherwise there is such quarrels and brawleries that his house and home that should be his Couch of Ease his Bed of Rest his peaceable Haven or haven of Peace is for the most part his couch of thorns his bed of cares his hell of torments or tormenting hell and his whole Family are like a tempestuous Sea where Passions hurl into Factions and rise in waves of discontent But when men have an absolute power over their wives they force them into quiet obedience and where men have many Wives Concubines and Slaves the women are humbled into a submission each woman striving which should be most serviceable and who can get most love and favour and as for Bastards they are as much the Fathers children as those that are got in Wedlock Censure But it is likely that Concubines and slaves will be false and father their children on those that never begot them Sensuality Why so may Wives and 't is most probable they do so but as other Nations do allow many Wives Concubines and slaves so they give men power and rule to govern and restrain them and the men are so wise in other Nations as they suffer no other men but themselves to come neer them hardly to look at the outside of their Seraglio's as that part of the house they are lodged in Censure Thou hast spoke so well and hast made so learned a Speech for many Wives Concubines and slaves as I am converted and will if thou wilt travel into such Kingdomes as allow such numbers and varieties that I may be naturalliz'd to their liberties Exeunt Scene 6. Enter Monsieur Satyrical and Monsieur Inquisitive INquisitive What is the reason Monsieur Satyrical you do not marry Satyrical The reason Monsieur Inquisitive is that I cannot find a wife fit for me Inquisitive Why there are women of all Ages Births Humours Statures Shapes Complexions Features Behaviours and Wits But what think you of marrying the Lady Nobilissimo Satyrical She is a Lady that out-reaches my Ambition Inquisitive What think you of the Lady Bellissimo Satyrical She is a Lady for Admiration and not for use Inquisitive What think you of marrying the Lady Piety Satyrical She is a Lady to be pray'd unto as a Saint not to be imbraced as wife Inquisitive What think you of the Lady Modesty Satyrical She is a Lady that will not only quench amorous love but the free matrimonial love Inquisitive What do you think of the Lady Sage Satyrical She is a Lady to rule as a Husband and not to be ruled as a Wife Inquisitive What think you of the Lady Politick Satyrical She is a Lady fitter for Counsel than for Mariage Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Ceremony Satyrical She is a Lady fitter for a Princely Throne than the Mariage-bed Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Poetical Satyrical She is a Lady fitter for Contemplation than Fruition Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Humility Satyrical She is a Lady sooner won than enjoy'd Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Sprightly Satyrical She is a Lady that will disquiet my rest being fitter for dancing than sleeping Inquisitive What say to the Lady Prodigal Satyrical She is a Lady I might feast with but could not thrive with Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Vanity Satyrical She is a Lady too various and extravagant for my humour Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Victoria Satyrical She is a Lady I had rather hear of than be inslaved by Inquisitive VVhat say you to the Lady Innocent Youth Satyrical She is a Lady that may please with imbracing but not with conversing she is fitter for love than for company for Cupid than for Pallas for sport than for counsel Inquisitive VVhat say you to the Lady Wanton Satyrical She is fitter for an hour than for an Age Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Poverty Satyrical She is fitter for my Charity than my Family Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Ill-favoured Satyrical She is a Lady fitter for a Nunnery than a Nursery for Beads than for Children Inquisitive What say you to the Lady Weakly Satyrical She is fitter for Death than for Life for Heaven than the World Inquisitive By your Answers I perceive you will not Marry Satyrical Have I not reason when I can finde such Answers from the Sex Inquisitive But the Gods have commanded Mariage Satyrical But Saints doe choose a single life and in case of Mariage I will sooner follow the Example of the Saints than the commands of the Gods Exeunt Scene 7. Enter Madamoiselle Ambition Superbe Bon' Esprit Pleasure Portrait Faction Grave Temperance and Mother Matron GRave Temperance Ladies what think you of good Husbands Portrait I think well of good Husbands Bon' Esprit But it is a question whether good Husbands will think well of us Faction I think good Husbands may be in our thoughts but not actually in the World Ambition I am of your opinion they may be mention'd in our words but not found in our lives Pleasure Faith we may hear of good husbands and read of good wives but they are but Romances Portrait You say right for we may as soon finde an Heroick Lover and see all his impossible Actions out of a Romance Book as a good Husbands but as for Wives I will not declare my Opinion Bon' Esprit Nor I but were there such men that would make good husbands it were as difficult to get them as for a Romantick Lover to get his Mistris out of an Inchanted Castle Pleasure For my part I had rather die a Maid than take the pains to get a good Husband Superbe I wonder our Sex should desire to Marry for when we are unmaried we are sued and sought to and not only Mistris of our selves but our Suters But when we are maried we are so far from being Mistrisses as we become slaves Pleasure The truth is there is no Act shews us or rather proves us to be so much fools as we are as in marrying for what greater folly can there be than to put our selves to that condition which will force us to sue to power when before that voluntary slavery we were in a condition to use power and make men sue to us Ambition We must confess when we well consider it is very strange since every Creature naturally desires and strives for preheminency as to be superiour and not inferiour for all Creatures indeavour to command and are unwilling to obey for it is not only Man but even the Beasts of the Field the Birds of the Air and the Fishes in the Sea and not only Beasts Birds and Fish but the Elements those creatures inhabite in strive for superiority only Women who seem to have the meanest souls of all the Creatures Nature hath made for women are so far from indeavouring to get power as they voluntarily
purse nor sheath'd my sword from helping the distress'd nor turn'd my back upon my assaulting Enemy I never stole good Fame nor rob'd good Names nor stab'd Innocency with slander I never scorn'd those below my self nor envy'd those above me I never infring'd the Laws of Honour nor disturb'd civil Society and though I cannot suffer an injury patiently yet I never did omit a duty willingly As for the truth of what I say I have none to witness for me as being a stranger but my own words from which this company perchance may think self-love and great desire hath brib'd my Tongue but if they do their thoughts make Truth no less no more than Eyes that are blind Ears that are deaf can rob you of your Wit and Beauty for though your Wit they do not hear nor Beauty see yet you passess them no less their want only robs you of their Admiration not of the Possession and say I am blind of one eye my other eye doth see and I have Hearing perfectly which doth inform my Knowledge and Understanding with that which makes my Admirations and Adorations perfect and sound within my Heart wherein your Picture is printed on which my Soul doth view and gazing kneels with wonder and astonishment that so much Wit Wisedom and Virtue should be in one so young fair And if you cannot love me despise me not for my pure Love is Divine as being divinely placed on you and it would grieve my Soul to have the zealous fire and immaculate flame of my Affection extinguish'd with your neglecting Thoughts and rak'd up in the ashes of your Forgetfulness But if any of my Sex shall seem to jest or scorn me for my outward form or shape My Courage and my Sword shall take my bodies part To cut their Limbs or thrust them through their Heart Prudence Worthy Sir you must excuse me from answering you at this time for I am taken on the sudden very sick Strange Wooer I wish you health although it were to be only purchas'd by my death Exeunt Scene 24. Enter Mistris Trifle and a Grave Matron MAtron What is the cause you weep Trifle Because my Father will not get me a Husband and Mistris Fondly will have a Husband before I shall have one for I hear she is to be maried she is happier in her Parents than I am for my Parents are unnatural and take no care how to get me a Husband and to see me maried Matron You may marry soon enough to repent Trifle I am sure I shall not repent for to be a Wife is a condition I am most desirous of and cannot be happy any other way Matron And Wives think Maids only happy because they are not vex'd nor troubled with a Husband Trifle Such women deserve no Husbands for certainly a Husband is a joy and a comfort as being a companion and a friend Matron But Husbands seldome keep in the company of their Wives and many times instead of a friend prove an enemy Enter a Servant Trifle What have you been at Mistris Fondly's House Servant Yes Trifle And have you inquir'd of her Maid as I bid you whether the Report is true that her Mistris is to be maried Servant Yes Trifle And what said she Servant She said that a Gentleman did Treat with her Mistrisses Father but they could not agree for the Gentleman would have more portion than her Father would give whereupon the Match is broke off Trifle I am glad of that for I would not have her maried before me for all the World But did you not see mistris Fondly Servant No for her Maid said her Mistris at the breaking off her Mariage almost broke her heart for she hath so afflicted her self and hath so wept and sigh'd as she is fallen sick and keeps her Chamber Trifle Alas good Friend I pity her extremely but I will go with her and try if I can comfort her Exeunt Scene 25. Enter the Lady Prudence to give her Answer to her Suter the Stranger The Assembly standing about the Lady and Suter take their places PRudence Noble Sir the Wit wherewith Nature Time and Education hath endu'd my tender brains is like new kindled fire that sparkling flies about the fuel being green and newly laid to burn there is more smoke than flame But since the time I heard you speak a newer fire is kindled in my Heart which equally doth burn with your profess'd Affections and though your Person is none of Natures exactest Peeces yet your Mind doth seem to be compos'd with all her best Ingredients and sure your Thoughts set notes of Honour Honestly and Love by which your Tongue plays Harmony 'T is not the sattin Skin that 's painted white and red nor near-carv'd Bodies can win my Love nor Wealth Titles Birth nor crown'd Power but Truth Sincerity Constancy Justice Prudence Courage and Temperance by which as Magistrates your life seems to be governed which life I wish the Gods may Crown with happy days and in Fames Tower long live your praise I will not ask you from whence you came nor what you are For though you seem but poor and mean Your Soul appears to me sublime Stranger And will you chuse me for your Husband Lady Prudence I shall be proud to be your Wife Sir Stranger The Gods are just to my pure Love rewarding it with your acceptance but I must beg your leave for some short time of Absence and then I shall return and claim your Promise Prudence You have the liberty Sir Exit Strange Wooer The Lady Gravity speaks to the Lady Prudence Gravity Lady surely you are in a High Feaver Prudence Why Madam Gravity As to do so extravagant an Action as to marry a man you know not what he is nor from whence he came and may prove as deformed in Mind as in Body as mean of Birth as poor in Parse as beggars that live on cold dry Charity Prudence If he be poor my Estate will make him rich if humbly born his Merits make him Honourable from whence he comes I do not care and where he will have me go I will wait upon him never questioning to what place Exit Lady Prudence Gravity Her Courage is beyond her Wit Liberty For the Example of this Lady I would have a Law made that there should be no more Publick Wooing Parle She hath cast away her self Minion Who can help it The Assembly go out holding up their hands as at a wonder Scene 26. Enter the Lady Mute as being in a melancholy Humour Enter Sir William Holdfast as meeting her HOldfast Lady why seem you so melancholy Mute My melancholy disposition is apt to catch hold on my evil Fortunes and both joyning together help to multiply my sad thoughts Holdfast Why should you be sad Mute How can I be merry when I am left destitute of Friends and unacquainted with Experience Holdfast Nature hath furnish'd you with all store you need none Mute If she
hope I shall be shortly Parrot Come we will go and chide your Husband that he hath been maried a week and his Wife not with child Lady Gosling Yes pray goe chide him and I will bear your company Exeunt Scene 45. Enter the Prince and Princess PRincess Sir pray perswade the unmaried Ladies to dance for I cannot intreat them Prince That 's strange for Ladies will dance without intreating for no intreating will make them sit still Princess It seems they are not in their dancing-humour to day for every one finds some excuse for to deny Prince Let them alone and take no notice of their reserved humours and they will dance without intreating nay they will intreat you they may dance Enter a Gentleman Gentlem. If it please your Highness the Ladies desire you would give them leave to Celebrate your Mariage with their Mirth and to express their Joy with their Dancing Prince We shall take it as a Favour to our Nuptials Exit Gentleman Prince Did not I tell you they would desire to dance Princess Truly I was so ignorant as I knew not so much the nature of our Sex Prince You knew not so much of their follies Exeunt Scene 46. Enter Mistris Parle Mistris Fondly Mistris Trifle Mistris Vanity VAnity Let us strive to make the Bride jealous Parle That 's impossible now but you may not work to good effect some a half a year hence Fondly Why I have known a Bridegroom leer her the next day he was maried Trifle Perchance a Bridegroom may for men are sooner cloy'd than women but a Bride will fondly hang about her Husbands neck a week at least Parle A week nay a moneth for a woman is fond the first moneth sick the second moneth peevish the third moneth coy the fourth moneth false the fifth moneth and Cuckolds her Husband the sixth moneth Fondly Then a maried man sprouts Horns in half a year Parle Yes for they are set the day of his mariage and some half a year after they are budded but not so fully grown as to appear to the publick view Trifle But will nothing hinder the growth Parle No 'faith but Death and Death like a Frost doth nip those tender buds Vanity Which death the mans or the womans Parle The womans for if the man dies and his Widow marries again the dead Husband is horn'd in his Grave and the living Husband is horn'd in his Bed Vanity Then their Horns may be put together as Stags in Rutting-time Fondly I had rather make Horns than talk of Horns therefore I 'll go dance Exeunt Scene 47. Enter two Gentlemen 1 GEntlem. Where have you been 2 Gent. At Church 1 Gent. Did a fit of Devotion hurry you to the Church to pray 2 Gent. No 'faith I went not to pray but to joyn a pair of Lovers hands in Wedlocks Bonds for they chose me to be their Father to give them in the Church 1 Gent. What Lovers were they that were so foolish to marry 2 Gent. So honest you mean 1 Gent. There is more folly in 't than honesty in my opinion 2 Gent. Thou art an Infidel nay a very Athiest 1 Gent. I am a Naturalist But who are they that are maried 2 Gent. Why Sir William Holdfast and the Lady Mute 1 Gent. The truth is he is a worthy Person and she is a virtuous and sweet Lady wherefore they deserve each other besides she is an Heir and he hath a great Estate 2 Gent. He hath so 1 Gent. What is the Wedding kept private 2 Gent. Yes there are only two or three Friends but I must goe dine with them therefore fare thee well unless you will go with me for you know you shall be welcome 1 Gent. I know I shall therefore I shall go with you Exeunt Scene 48. Enter the Prince and Princess and all the Ladies and Gallants as Knights and Gentlemen They dance upon the Stage and then go out FINIS EPILOGUE OUr Auth'ress here hath sent me for her pay She 's at the Charge of Wit to make the Play But if you think it not worthy of Praise Nor an Applause of Hands her Fame to raise She doth desire that it in pawn may lie Till redeem'd by a better Comedie The Actors Names The Lord Widower Sir William Lovewell and the Lady Hypocondria his wife Sir Henry Sage and the Lady Chastity his wife Sir Edward Courtly and the Lady Iealousie his wife Sir Humphrey Disagree and the Lady Disagree his wife Sir Thomas Cuckold and the Lady Wanton his wife Sir Timothy Spendall and the Lady Poverty his wife Sir Iohn Dotard and the Lady Driping his wife Sir Francis Inconstant and the Lady Inconstant his wife Sir Iames Hearty the Lady Inconstants Father Monsieur Amorous Monsieur Disguise The Lady Sprightly the Lord Widowers Daughter The Lady Procurer Mistris Forsaken afterwards named Monsieur Disguise Mistris Single sister to the Lady Jealousie Doll Subtilty the Lady Sprightly's Chambermaid Also a Waiting-Gentlewoman Nan Lightheel the Lady Jealousies Maid and likewise a Waiting-Gentlewoman Joan Cry-out the Lady Hypocondria's Chamber-maid and likewise a Waiting-Gentlewoman Briget Greasy Sir John Dottards Kitchin maid and two other Maids of his Three Maid-servants of the Lady Poverty 's Two or three Maid-servants of the Lady Disagree's A Maid-servant to the Lady Inconstant Nic Adviser Sir Francis Inconstants man Roger Trusty Sir William Lovewels man A Serving-man of Sir James Hearty's A Skipper Doctors and others Steward The first Part of the Play called the MATRIMONIAL TROUBLE A COMEDY ACT I. Scene 1. Enter Sir Francis Inconstant and Mistris Forsaken SIr Fran. Incon. When I forsake you let Heaven forsake my Soul Mistris Forsaken I do not doubt you for if I did I could not love you and whilst I love you I cannot doubt you Inconstant O how it wounds my heart to part from you my Thoughts are tortur'd and my Mind is set upon a melancholy Rack Forsaken Since your Journey cannot be conveniently avoided I will please my self with the hopes of your sudden Return Inconstant Farewel sweet Mistris Death is the worst of Nature and your Absence the worst of Fortune Exeunt Scene 2. Enter Master Thrifty the Steward and Briget Greasy the Cook-maid BRiget Greasy Good Master Steward give Order for some Beef-suet to be brought in for there is nor any left in the House and I must make a Venison-pasty and if I should temper my Pasty all with butter you would be angry Thrifty Why cannot you take some of the fat from the Beef-broth for your Crust Briget Yes if every one that eat of it had as fresh a mouth as you or loved drink so well as you do it would serve otherwise it would be too salt for their palats besides I am to make puddings in guts Thrifty If they prove as the last you made the dogs may eat them for the guts stunk so much as no man could eat any of them Briget I 'm sure 't was your fault in that
service to you Sir Cuckold Sir I am your most humble Servant and shall strive by all the ways I can to appear worthy your favours The Ladies speak familiarly Wanton Lord Lady Procurer how are you drest to day in a most careless fashion Procurer It is the mode it is the mode to go undrest Cuckold Wife this is not a fit room to entertain this noble Gentleman Sir will you be pleas'd to walk into another room Amorous All rooms are fine Sir where you and your Virtuous Lady are Exeunt Sir Thomas Cuckold and Monsieur Amorous Procurer 'Faith if I had not come running in before your Husband he had catch'd you Lady Wanton claps the Lady Procurer on the cloaths VVanton 'Faith Procurer thou art such another Lady-wag as all the Town cannot match thee Procurer I was I was but now I am grown old I am grown old but I was born to do good Offices Exeunt Scene 34. Enter two Maids of the Lady Poverty 's 1 MAid I wonder my Lady is able to stay in the room with my Master his vomiting hath so fumed the room as there is such a stink that by my troth I am almost strangled with the smell of the corrupted drink 2 Maid Alas poor Lady she is forc'd to stay for fear he should be outragious in his drunken humour for if she stirs or speaks he swears as if he would draw the Devils out of Hell 1 Maid Hell is not so bad as to be where he is now he is drunk Enter another Maid 3 Maid My Master is asleep and my Lady would have you make lesse noise and not to talk so loud for fear you should awake him 1 Maid If he be asleep we may make what noise we will or can make he will not wake until such time as the fume or vapour of wine be out of his head no sound can enter But I wonder my Lady will take such care of him when he hath no respect to her but transforms himself from man to beast every day indeed she sees him only a beast not a man for before he is wholy sober he rises to go to a Tavern to be drunk again 2 Maid If my Master transforms himself into a beast ere that he comes to my Lady he imitates Iove for he transform'd himself into a Bull for the sake of fair Europa 1 Maid But not into a drunken roaring Bull as my Master is 3 Maid 'Faith if I were my Lady I would hold by his Horns and then let him roar and drink and whore as much as he will 1 Maid Yes so she might chance to be drench'd in a Bathing-tub as Europa in the Sea Exeunt Scene 35. Enter Nan the Lady Jealousies Chamber-maid and her Master Sir Henry Courtly meets her and kisses her Enter the Lady Jealousie and sees him LAdy Iealousie So Husband I perceive Nan is in your favour Nan runs out of the room Courtly 'Faith Wife Nan is a careful and industrious Wench for she strives to serve us both for she makes you candles and feeds me with kisses Lady Iealousie Or rather Husband you feed Nan and Nan feeds me Courtly Faith the truth is I need you both Lady Iealousie But Nan hath the greatest share that makes her so proud and I so sickly But since you are so liberal to her and so sparing to me I will board elsewhere and so as I may carve where I like best Courtly Sure Wife you will not Lady Iealousie Surely Husband I will do my endeavour Courtly What to be a Whore Lady Iealousie Yes if being a whore will make you a Cuckold Exeunt Scene 36. Enter the Lady Hypocondria and her Maid LAdy Hypocondria My Husband hath been a long time abroad pray Iove he be safe if he should chance to have a quarrel and fight a hundred to one but he is killd for otherwise he would have come home do you think he is well Ioan Maid You need not fear for my master is of so civil a behaviour and of so sweet a disposition as he can have no enemies Lady Hypocon. O But he is a man that is very valiant and one that is very sensible of disgrace and affronts Maid Truly I believe you have no reason to fear Lady Hypocon. Do you but believe so nay then you doubt and therefore I know he is kill'd and I will go and find out the murtherer and kill him my self The Lady Hypocondria offers to run out of the room as in a frighted passion the maid stops her Maid My Noble Lady do not run in this passion for all the idle men and women and boyes and girles will run after you as thinking you mad for they make no difference betwixt melancholy and madnesse Lady Hypocon. I am not able to overcome this fear I shall die Maid Pray stay and send out one of our men to inquire where he is Lady Hypocon. Call Roger Trusty The Maid goes out The Lady alone Lady Hypocon. O You defendant Gods assist my Husband Enter Joan and Roger Trusty Lady Hypocon. Trusty go presently and seek out your master and bring me word where he is and how he doth and be sure if you see a grim look't fellow near him that you stir not from your Master but wait upon him home for fear some trechery should beset him Trusty Who shall bring you word of his health or sicknesse life or death Lady Hypocon. Death do you say O you have heard he is kill'd Trusty By Pluto I have heard no such thing Lady Hypocon. Why do you talk of death then Trusty Because you send me to know whether he be dead or alive Lady Hypocon. That is true wherefore let one of the Foot-boyes go along with you to bring me an answer but be sure you stay with your Master Trusty I shall Lady Hypocon. Make all the haste you can to find him Exeunt Scene 37. Enter Sir Henry Sage and the Lady Chastity SIr Hen. Sage Is the Lady Procurer a Baud say you Lady Chastity A perfect one I think for she pleaded as earnestly as Lawyers for a fee Sir Hen. Sage No doubt but she hath as much reason for sure she doth it for gain not out of love to wicked basenesse but I believe poverty perswades her or rather inforces her Chastity No surely it is an inborn or at least an inbred baseness for neither death nor torments can inforce nor riches nor preferrments allure a noble mind to such base acts but some are so unworthy or rather wicked as to delight to intice and to pervert all they can get acquaintance with Sir Hen. Sage And some doe it to hide their own faults thinking to bury them under the vices of others or smother them in the presse of a multitude but let me advise you not to entertain her company any more Chastity I believe she will not visit me again Exeunt Scene 38. Enter the Lady Sprightly and one of her women LAdy Sprightly Lord Lord this nasty
be like beasts rather than to make them like as Gods which men should strive to be Procurer By your favour Sir there can be no Law that can keep men from being horned beasts Sage Whose fault is that Madam not mens which make the Laws but womens that break the Laws Procurer It is mens fault for giving women such liberty And let me tell you Sir women are such subtil creatures as they strive first to get an honourable esteem from their Friends and Husbands and a belief of their Chastity and when they have secured mens jealousies they make their Husbands Cuckolds which all their Neighbours perceive although the Husband is blind and muffl'd with affection Sage Madam your Sex deserve a better Character than you give of them for by your description there are few chaste Procurer Every woman knows the humours of her own Sex better than men know the humours of one another wherefore let me advise you Sir Henry Sage to watch my Lady your Wife for many to my knowledge seek for to corrupt her Sage Madam although she is one of your Sex yet she is of an Angelical nature and not corruptible Procurer Sir I am your humble servant and I wish your Angel may not fall from Virtue into Vice Sage I have no jealous doubt Madam Procurer I wonder at it for wise men use to doubt He leads her forth Exeunt Scene 2. Enter Sir Edward Courtly and the Lady Jealousie COurtly Wife I have given you warning twice beware of the third time that you receive no Masculine Visiters for by Heaven if you do I will hang you up in my garters Iealousie Do if you dare I will have those that shall cut your throat Courtly You could not fright me with your Champions were I a coward for they are Carpet-Knights and dare not fight Iealousie They dare more than you dare Sir Edward Courtly takes off a garter or some other string or ribband about his cloaths and makes her believe he will strangle her Courtly By Heaven I 'll give an Example to all men that love their Honour and hate to be Cuckolds He takes the string and offers to put it about her neck She is afraid Iealousie O Husband Husband spare me spare me Courtly Wife you may make me a Fool but not unman me you may flatter me but not frighten me you may make me commit an indiscretion but never to be Effeminate Iealousie O mercy mercy Husband do but spare me this time and I will be the best wife in the World Courtly Well I will pardon you this time and know VVife that though I am willing to part with my Breeches and Doublet to give them you yet I will never part with my Sword and my Spurs which is my Courage and my Management And I will give you all liberty in Vanity but not in Dishonesty you shall keep the Purse but not manage the Horse Also let me tell you that it is not enough to be honest but you must give no suspicion to the contrary Exeunt Scene 3. Enter the Lady Procurer and the Lady VVanton LAdy Procurer Come Come Madam are you ready for Monsieur Amorous hath provided a great and costly Banquet for you Wanton I am ready I did only stay for you to go along with me Procurer But will not your Husband watch whither we go Wanton O no for he believes I am going to the Lady Breeders Up-sitting Procurer That 's well be is so credulous to believe so easily whatsoever you would have him believe and if he be but as obstinate of belief of that you would not have him believe you are happy for let me tell you that all men hath not that spiritual gift of Faith but have strange opinions and full of doubts and suspitions VVanton Nay I thank Iove I have as good a Husband as any woman whatsoever hath Procurer Prethee Madam leave some thanks for your loving servant which loves and adores you more than he doth Heaven and worships you as his only Goddess VVanton He shall not pray in vain nor shall I be as an Idoll made of Stone or Brass Procurer Come your wayes then Exeunt Scene 4. Enter Monsieur Disguise alone MOnsieur Disguise O man O man inconstant man false and perjurious man flattering dissembling man and the worst of Mankind is Sir Francis Inconstant He hath not only forsaken me but forgot me drowning the memory of me in his superfluous Cups O Pluto from whence all wickedness proceeds make his fair Bride as false to him as he hath prov'd to me and fill his mind with furious Jealousie Exit Scene 5. Enter the Lady Hypocondria as at her Husband Sir VVilliam Lovewells Closet-door she knocks at the door LOvewel. Who 's there Hypocon. 'T is I Husband She enters Lovewel I may bid you welcome VVife for you are a stranger here Hypocon. Truly Husband I should not have disturb'd you but that I was afraid you were not well for I came two or three times to the door and heard no noise which made me afraid you might be in a swoun or dead Lovewel I thank you for your loving fear and care of me Hypocon. You may think this is an over-fond humour in me but I have heard of many that have been found dead in their Beds and in their Closets when as their Friends never mistrusted it but thought they were asleep or at study which if they had been found or known in time they might have been recover'd Lovewell You say true Wife Hypocondria But now I know you are well I will not disturb you any longer Lovewell I will bear your kindness company Exeunt Scene 6. Enter Sir Henry Sage and the Lady Chastity his Wife SAge VVife thou art false Chastity 'T is strange to hear you say so when but yesterday you made me such protestations of your Faith believing I was Virtuous Chaste and full of Truth which I did think Time had not power to alter your belief and such Vows and Protestations of your Affections to me as if the fire of Love within your heart did burn so clear and flame so high as nought could quench it out but Death's cold damps yet not so much but still a heat within the ashes would remain Sage I confess VVife my doubts of Love did make me to try at least to say so to you Chastity True Love never makes doubts and though you can dissemble with me I cannot dissemble with you could the Gods command me as they cannot things unjust Sage I perceive you are angry VVife Chastity No truly Husband I am rather griev'd than angry to think my honest truth mistrusted for Doubts are unjust to great Affections true Love and good Intentions and Examinations are scandalous to a strict chaste life and makes it seem as criminal but could the VVorld lay falshood to your charge and should condemn you yet my Affections would set you free and rather tax my self for want of Merit to deserve your
Lovewel Rogue that he was that he was that told her who was it Roger Trusty It was I Sir when I went to fetch your Leaguer-cloak to keep you warm Lovewel Villain I 'll run you through Trusty What you please Sir but my Lady takes it very patiently for when she heard of it she was playing on the Lute and did not leave playing at the report Lovewel I am glad she is so discreet Trusty Truly Sir I think my Lady is now one of the wisest and discreetest Ladies in the Town Lovewel What for playing on the Lute Trusty No Sir but for being so patient and temperate as all wise persons are who bear afflictions with that Moral Philosophical Carelesness and as they call it passive Courage composing their Faces into a Grave surly Countenance fashioning their Behaviour with Formality walking with a slow and stately Pace speaking nothing but Wise Sentences and Learned Morals Lovewel You are a moral Ass and although my wounds are but small yet I grow faint with standing to hear a fool talk Exeunt Scene 21. Enter the Lady Inconstant and Monsieur Disguise LAdy Inconst. Sir I believe you may wonder and think it strange that a woman can love a stranger so soon and so much Disguise I doe not think it strange in Nature but I think it strange you should affect me a person which is no way worthy of your Favour and your Love unless you like a Deity humbly descend to mortals accepting of their Adorations and Offerings And as a mortal to a Deity I offer up my Heart on the Altar of your Obligations Inconstant Here I do vow to Venus not only to offer you my person and all delights that it can yield but I offer you my Honour my Fathers Honour my Husbands Honour nay their lives if you require it Disguise I must confess your Husbands life is dangerous for we cannot well enjoy our loves with safety if that your Husband lives Inconstant Name but the way unto his Death and I will execute it Disguise I cannot for you must do it as you find Fortune gives you opportunity Inconstant Farewel and believe I shall let no opportunity slip that might bring my designs to pass The Lady Inconstant goes out Monsieur Disguise alone Disguise My revenge is too big for words all actions to little for his punishment wherefore you furies I invoke you to assist me and if Hell gives me not help Heaven or Death give me ease Exit Scene 22. Enter the Lady Procurer and Monsieur Amorous LAdy Procurer Now Monsieur Amorous you and the Lady Wanton shall not need to make so many excuses to meet for your going into the Country with Sir Thomas Cuckold you will be always in the House with his Lady Amorous Faith I have a great deal of business in the City which may suffer if I should go out of the Town Procurer Out upon you make excuses already Amorous I do not make excuses I only tell you the truth of my affairs Procurer Can you have any affairs greater or of more concernment than waiting on a Mistriss and such a Mistriss as you were a dying for to enjoy but a little time since well go thy ways Monsieur Amorous for thou art like a woman that hath fits of the Mother often swouning and sick but never dyes in any of them Amorous The Lady Chastity would be like a draught of cold water to bring me to life again Procurer Let me tell thee as those fits will never kill thee so all the Chastity in the Town can never cure thee Exeunt Scene 23. Enter the Lady Hypocondria and Joan her Maid LAdy Hypocondria Pray Iuno my Husband doth not perceive I have cry'd Ioan. You need not fear it for the hot Cloath you laid to your eyes hath sok'd out the redness and abated the swelling thereof but I doubt you will cry when you see him Hypocondria I hope I shall be wiser than to cry for I would not have my Husband think me a Fool or troublesome for the world Ioan. But surely Madam you must needs torment your Soul to strive so much against nature Hypocondria Love had rather torment it self then torment what it loves Ioan. Your Ladyship will make the old Proverb good which sayes love overcomes all things and surely it overcomes all when it overcomes nature it self Exeunt Scene 24. Enter the Lady Jealousy and the Fool LAdy Iealousy Prethy Fool watch thy Master and my Maid Nan and when they are together give notice and I will give thee a new Coat Fool. I shall stand Sentinel and give the watch-word The Lady Jealousy goes out The Fool alone Fool. Most Creatures their tails lyes in their heads or their heads lyes in their Neighbours tayles nose to breech for they are always thinking thereof which makes their thoughts as sluts and slovens their brains like to a heapt-up Dunghil but I must watch my Master and his Maid to catch Exeunt Scene 25. Enter Master Makepeace and Master Perswader friend and Chaplain to Sir Humphrey Disagree MAster Makepeace 'T is strange that Sir Humphrey Disagree and his Lady cannot agree yet they are both of good natures and generous Souls keep a noble House and are bountifull to their Servants kind and courteous to their Friends and he a very understanding Gentleman and a learned Scholar and an honest Man Perswader And she is a very Chast Lady a good Huswife and very orderly in her House as concerning what she is to take care of or to direct and is very pious and devout and yet both to be so indiscreet as to fall out about light toys and frivolous matters Makepeace 'T is strange and truly great pitty wherefore we ought to do our indeavour to try if we can make them friends Perswader Surely that might be easily done for they are as apt and as soon friends when their anger 's over as they are apt to fall out when they are friends and I make no doubt to make them friends but the business is to keep them friends and the question is whether it were not better they should be parted friends than present enemies Makepeace Yet we have discharged our parts if we make or do our indeavour to make them friends Perswader Well Sir perswade the Husband and I will try to perswade the Wife Exeunt Scene 26. Enter Monsieur Disguise and Sir Francis Inconstant SIr Francis Inconstant Sir you do amaze me for I have not been so long married as to give her time for Incontinency nor have I been so ill a Husband as yet as to create or beget her hate towards me Disguise Sir if I do not prove it I shall be content to suffer the heaviest punishment you can inflict upon me and because your belief is wavering I will place you where you shall hear her declare her intentions as towards your Death Inconstant I long to prove the Truth Exeunt Scene 27. Enter the Lady Wanton and the Lady
him which is dead I shall desire your continued Acquaintance Compagnion softly to Comerade Monsieur Compagnion She wooes me with her Husbands dead skull I shall render my Service to your Ladyship She bowes him thanks with simpring and smiling Countenance and a bridled head Monsieur la Gravity softly to himself Monsieur la Gravity Those young youths I perceive will be my ruin if not prevented Madam will your Ladyship honour me so much as to give me the private hearing of a few words Lady Passionate Yes Sir She removes with him a little space Monsieur la Gravity Madam although I am not such a one as I could wish my self for your sake yet I am a Gentleman and what I want in person or estate my affection respect and tender regard to your person worth and merit shall make good besides Madam my years suiting to your Ladyships will make the better agreement in marriage Lady Passionate Sir you must excuse me for though you merit a better wife than I yet I cannot answer your affections wherefore I desire you will desist in your Sute for I am resolved if I do marry to please my fancy Monsieur la Gravity If your Ladyship cannot love me Heaven forbid I should marry you wherefore I wish your Ladyship such a Husband as you can fancy best and love most They return to the two other Gentlemen they all take their leaves Madam your most humble Servant They go through the Stage and come upon it again as it were at the Street Door Monsieur la Gravity Where is our Coach Enter a Footman Call the Coach to the Door Enter Doll Pacify as from her Lady to Monsieur Compagnion Doll Pacify Sir pray give me leave to speak a word or two with you Monsieur Compagnion As many as you please Doll Pacify Sir my Lady desires your Company to morrow to Dinner but she desires you will come alone Monsieur Compagnion Pray give your Lady thanks for her favours and tell her if I can possibly I will wait on her Ladyship Doll Pacify goes out Monsieur Comerade Now what encouragement have you from the old Lady Monsieur Compagnion Faith so much as I am ashamed of it for she invites me to come alone Monsieur Comerade On my life if thou wilt not woo her she will woo thee Monsieur Compagnion Like enough for there is nothing so impudent as an old woman they will put a young man be he never so deboist out of Countenance Monsieur Comerade But faith consider of it for she is rich Monsieur Compagnion So is the Devill as Poets say Pluto the God of riches Monsieur Comerade I grant it and is not he best served for every one bows with respect nay worships and adores riches and they have reason so to do since all are miserable that have it not for Poverty is a torment beyōd all sufferance which causes many to hang themselves either in the Chain of Infamy or in a Hempen rope or to do act against the strict Laws of a Common-wealth which is to commit self-murther besides Poverty is the Slave and druge the scorn and reproach of the World it makes all younger Brothers Sherks and meer Cheats whereas this old Ladies riches will not only give you an honest mind and create noble thoughts but will give you an honourable reputation in the VVorld for every one will think you Wise although you were a Fool Valiant although you were a Coward and you shall have the first offers of all Offices and all Officers will be at you devotion they will attend you as Slaves the Lawyers will plead on your side and Judges will give sentence according as you desire Courtiers will flatter you and Divines will pray for you in their Pulpits and if your old Lady dy and leave you her wealth you shall have all the young beautifull Virgins in the Kingdome gather to that City Town or Village where you live omitting no Art that may prefer them to your affection Monsieur Compagnion You say well and I could approve of your Counsel if she would dy soon after I had married her Monsieur Comerade VVhy put the case she should live a great while as the truth is old women are tough and indure long yet you will have her Estate to please your self withall which Estate will buy you fine Horses great Coaches maintain Servants and great Retinues to follow you Monsieur Compagnion But she is so divellish old Monsieur Comerade VVhy let her keep her Age to her self whilst you keep a young Mistress to your self and it is better to have an old Wife that will look after your Family and be carefull and watchfull therein and a young Mistriss than a young Wife which will be a Tyrannical Mistriss which will look after nothing but Vanities and love Servants whilst you poor wretch look like a contented Cuckold and so out of Countenance as you dare not shew your face whilst she spends your Estate running about with every vain idle fellow to Playes Masks Balls Exchanges Taverns or meets at a private Friends private Lodging also making great Feasts and Entertainments where after Dinner and Supper there must be gaming at Cards and Dice where for her honour or at least seeming so to lose five hundred or a thousand pounds away and when they rise with or from their losses singing with a feigned voice as if it were a trifle not to be considered or considerable thus if you marry an old and rich Lady you may live and spend her Estate but if you marry for youth and beauty your wife will live and spend your Estate besides the Husband of an old Lady lives like the great Turk having a Seraglio but marrying a young wife you live like a Prisoner never durst show your head Monsieur la Gravity He gives you good Counsel and let me advise you to go to this Lady as she hath invited you for I perceive she hath a young Tooth in her old head by refusing me and there is none so fit to pull it out as you are wherefore go Monsieur Compagnion Well Gentlemen I will try if my Reason and your Counsel can prevail in my choice Exeunt ACT IV. Scene 13. Enter Madam Jantil in her habit with a white Taper lighted in her hand the Tomb bring thrust upon the Stage she goeth to the Tomb then kneels down and seems as praying after that she rises holding out the Torch with the other hand speaks as follow These Verses being writ by my Lord the Marquess of Newcastle MAdam Iantil. Welcome sad thoughts that 's heapt up without measure They 're joys to me and wealthy Sons of treasure Were all my breath turn'd into sighs 't would ease me And showrs of tears to bath my griefs would please me Then every groan so kind to take my part To vent some sorrows still thus from my heart But there 's no Vacuum O my heart is full As it vents sorrows new griefs in doth pull Is there
be empty Comical Dutchess Indeed I am obliged to them more than any other Nation for they give me all the due Respects and Homage to my Greatness for which I love that Nation very well 2. Attendant You have reason but I do observe there is nothing doth keep up a Court more than Dancing and several sorts and kinds of merry pastime for wheresoever there is Dancing and Sport Company will flock together 3. Attendant You say true Comical Dutchess I find my self full of pain I believe I shall fall in Labour 4. Attendant I hope then we shall have a young Prince or Princess soon Exeunt Scene 14. Enter three Gentlemen 1. Gent. I Saw Prince Shaddow 2. Gent. What Prince is he 1. Gent. Why he is the Creating Princess's Husband who made him a Prince 3. Gent. I thought no women could give Title to their Husbands unless they had been Soveraigns 2. Gent. O yes all women can give their Husbands Titles if they please 3. Gent. What Title 2. Gent. Why the title of Cuckolds 1. Gent. Indeed most women do magnifie their Husbands by those Titles 2. Gent. But let me tell you that those women that have Inheritary Honours although not Soveraigns may indue their Husbands with the same Honour but it is not generally so but his Children begot on her are indued and not the Husband yet some Husbands are As for Example a Lord Vicount Earl Marquiss Duke King or Emperor if the Honour as Title goeth to the Female for default of a Male in some Nations their Husbands are indued with their Titles but not commonly known to be so in England as a VVife with her Husband which is only during life and not Inhereditary but if their Titles are only during life and not Inhereditary it cannot derive to another that is not an Successor's for Inhereditary Honour goe like Intailed Lands it goeth only to the next Heir but those that are the dignified are like those that have Joynters or Annuitles for life so when a Husband receives a Dignity from a VVife or a VVife from a Husband it is but so much Honour for life 1. Gentleman But if they have Children those Children inherit the Honour 2. Gentleman Yes as having a right from that Parent that is the Dignifyer but if there be none of the line of the Dignifyer the Honour dies neither is the root of the Honour left to any more than one for though the branches of Honour spread to all the Children yet the root remains but with one For say a King have many Children they are all Princes but yet there can be but one that can inherit the Crown and Royaltie So if a Marquiss or Duke have many Children they are all Lords and Ladies if they be lawfully and in true VVedlock born otherwise they are not neither doth any more but one of the Legitimate Children inherit the Root as to be Marquess or Duke Dutchess or Marchioness neither do the Daughters inherit if there be Sons 1. Gent. But cannot a Dukes Daughter make her Husband a Prince 2. Gent. No not except she hath the Inhereditary Honour for if a Kings Daughter should marry a private Gentleman he would remain as only in the Title of a Gentleman unless the King did create a Title for him or bestow a Title on him 1. Gent. VVhy put case the Inhereditary Honour lay in the people and they elect a King hath that King no power to Create or to give Honour 2. Gent. No they may chuse Officers but not give Titles unless the people did dispossess them of their hereditary power and give it to any man and then the root of Honour lyes in him 1. Gent. Nor doth his Children receive no Titles from their Father 2. Gent. No for the Title he hath is none of his he hath it but during life unless the people will give a Lease as for two or three Lives yet they nominate those two or three Lives So neither can they dispose of their Leases or alter them but at the peoples pleasure like as those that are made Governors they cannot dispose of their Governments to whom they please as without the leave of those that placed them in the Government neither do his Children receive any Titles therefrom like as a Lord Mayor his Son is not my Lord Mayor after him unless he is made one nor his children have no place by his Office and an elective Prince is but as a Lord Mayor or rather like as a Deputy Governor who as I said may dispose of Places or Offices but not give Dignities Honours or Titles 1. Gent. I thank you for your Information for I was so ignorant as I knew nothing of Heraldry Exeunt Scene 15. Enter two Gentlemen 1. Gent. HAve you seen the Imaginary Queen yet 2. Gent. What Imaginary Queen 1. Gent. VVhy a Great Queen that every one goeth to kiss her hand 2. Gent. From what parts of the VVorld came she 1. Gent. From the North parts 2. Gent. And doe so many go to kisse her hand 1. Gent. Yes throngings of Common people 2 Gent. They would kiss the Dogs Tail if it were turned up and presented to them but do any of the Nobles and Gentry kiss her hand 1 Gent. Some few that are newly come out of the Country to see sights in the City 2 Gent. Pish in this Age there are so many of these kind of Bedlams as I am weary to hear of them as the Comical Dutchess the Creating Princess and the Created Prince Prince Shaddow and now the Imaginary Queen 1 Gent. Why Faith it is as good a sight as to see a Play 2 Gent. A puppet Play you mean but the truth is it is a disgrace to all noble persons and great dignities and true titles to be thus mocked by imitators it is a sign that all Europe is imbroiled in Wars so much as every one doth what they list 1 Gent. VVhy they are so far from being checkt or discountenanced for it as there are many true Princes great and noble persons as give the same respect and homage as if they were real Princes indeed and in truth 2 Gent. Then it if it were in my power I would divest those that had the right and true dignities and titles and put them upon those that only acted princely and royal parts since the Actors bear up so nobly and the Spectators do creep and crouch so basely but indeed both sides are Actors both the Spectators and Players only the one side Acts noble parts the other side base parts the one Acts the parts of Princes the other of Servants but I am sorrow to see True Honour wounded as it is 1 Gent. The truth of it is True Honour lies a bleeding and none doth offer to power in Balsimum Exeunt Scene 16. Enter the Imaginary Queen her Gentleman Usher bare headed leads her her Page holds up her Train her Woman follows her and that is all her Train a Company of
she will flatter grosly other times she will rail maliciously and sometimes she will speak so eloquently and demean her self so elegantly as to ravish the minds of the beholders and hearers This Lady Wit hath nine Daughters very beautifull Ladies namely the Nine Muses and every several Muse partakes of every several Humour of the Mother These nine beautifull Ladies Natures Grand-children and VVits Daughters have vowed single lives living alwayes in the Court with their Mother whose Court is a very glorious Palace for it is composed of Coelestial flame and Divine Spirits were the Architectures thereof the Servants and Courtiers of the Lady Wit are Poets men of all Nations Qualities Dignities and Humours these Courtiers the Poets make love to the Lady Wits Daughters the nine Muses and often receive favours from them which favours their Servants the Poets braid them into Rimes and make several works of Verse then tie them into True Lovers Knots and then as all Lovers use to do with their Mistresses favours vaingloriously shew them to the publick view of the world for though the Lady Muses will not marry yet they receive Courtly addresses and take delight to be wooed and sued to the younger sort of Poets are Amorous Lovers the Grave and more antient Poets are Platonick Lovers and some are Divine Lovers and some are Heroick Lovers and some are Satyrical Lovers which wooe in a crabbid stile but to conclude of VVit there are good VVits which have foolish Judgements for though VVit and VVisdome are Sisters and Brothers both the Children of Nature yet for the most part the Brother is a meer Fool and the Sister hath a great wit but some have Masculine VVits and Effeminate Judgements as if their beams were Hermophrica The next I am to define is VVisdome who as I said is a Son of the Gods this VVisdome is a person of perfect and upright Shape of well-composed Features of a manly Garb and an assured Countenance In his speech he is of a readie delivery and he hath a well-tempered Humour as for the Acoustrements of his Person he changes them according to the times and occasions His constant habitation is in the strong Tower of Honestie this Tower is built round without ends or corners or by places and it stands upon four Pillars as Prudence Fortitude Justice and Temporance upon every several Pillar are Letters ingraven wherein may be read the proper uses benefits and advantages of each Pillar These Pillars of Support causes this Tower to be inpregnable for though there are many assaults made against it as by Riches which shoots his golden Bullets out of his golden Canons at it striving to batter it down and Power brings a mighty Army to assault it and Danger of Death strives to storm it and Flattery and Insinuation to undermine it yet it holds out without any breach therein for the walls of this Tower named Honesty are of a wonderfull strength for they are as durable as an intire Diamond not to be dissolved and as transparant as a Christal without the least spot stain or blemish In this Tower as I said lives Wisdom a most magnificent Lord he is and is attended numerously and nobly his chief Favourite is Truth his chief Counselors are Reason Understanding Observation Experience and Judgement his chief Officers are Patience Industry and Opportunity his Domestick Servants are the Appetites which Servants he rules and governs with great moderation his Nobility are the Passions which he preferrs according to their merit but those that are apt to be Factious he severely punishes for he is one that loves peace and hates brulleries or any dissention he is a person of the quickest Sense for he hath a most piercing sight to foresee dangers as to avoid them and can well distinguish the right ways from the wrong likewise he hath a most cleer hearing for nothing passes by that concerns him but the sound gives him an Alarum to stand upon his guard or a charge to take his advantage but he hath a silent tongue for he never speaks but it is to some purpose also he hath a marvelous quick Scent to smel out a Rebellion or Treason and he will follow it pace by pace as Hounds do Hares and never leaves till he hath hunted it out also his Touch is very sensible he soon feels a courtesie or injury the first he receives gratefully and feels tenderly the other he receives strongly and gripes hard when he can take fast hold otherwise he lets it passe or fall as if his touch were numb'd he is a person which is so solicited by the weak sought to by the wronged flattered by the ambitious sued to by the distressed and he often fits in the Court of Errors to rectifie the disorder therein sometimes he hath been in great humane Councels but that is very rare indeed he is so seldome in great humane Councels as he is hardly known for not one among a thousand that did ever see him much lesse to have any acquaintance with him for he is reserved and not company for every one But there are many that falssy pretend not only to be acquainted with him but gets falle Vizards and pretend to be Wisdome it self and the world for the most part is cozened and abused with these Cheats in not knowing the right true Wisdom and how should they when Wisdom it self appears so seldome as he is a stranger even in Kings Courts and Princes Palaces and so great a stranger he is in many Courts and Councels that if by chance he should be there they thrust him out as a troublesome Guest and laugh at his advice as foolish or condemn his Counsel as treacherous but now I have declared unto you whom VVit and Wisdome are now I am to give my opinion whether women are capable of their Society but truly I must tell you it is a difficult question by reason the several Educations which are the Ushers that lead humane Creatures to several Societies for there are Societie of the Ignorant and foolish as well as of the witty and wise and several Ushers belonging thereto and indeed these latter Societies are numerous and of all sorts the other are Societies of the most choicest for though Wit is not an absolute Goddesse nor humane Wisdome an absolute God yet they are a degree above other earthly mortals but Fools are produced from the degrees of Mortality and Ignorance is the Daughter of Obscurity the Ushers of these are Obstinacy Stupidity and Illiterature which leads mortals to dangerous and unexcessible ways in this last Society for the most part women are of as being bred therein and having such ill Tutors and Guides they must needs err for there is an old saying When the Blind leads the Blind they must needs fall into the Ditch nor having sight to choose their way so women breeding up women the Generations must needs be Fools for the first women had an ill Tutor the Devil which