word Ps 119. 165. Great peace have they that love thy Law He received the spirit which is of God and knew the things that were freely given to him of God and rejoyced therein 1 Cor. 2. 12. As to his Conversion which to some that have lived long in ignorance security sensuality prophaness and forgetfulness of God is very Sensible He being from tender years restrained and well inclined It was not so remarkable to him The most discernible part thereof was when he was a young Scollar in Cambridge Nor did he then experience very notable workings of the Spirit of bondage Which occasioned some trouble to his mind and he feared his humiliation was not deep enough but he received full satisfaction from a passage in a sermon which he heard preached by that Worthy and Excellent Servant of Jesus Christ Mr. Richard Vines then Master of Pembrooke Hall He hath sometimes said to his Friend that he was not much acquainted with those ravishing joys which some have felt but yet had that comfort and joy in the Holy Ghost which gave him satisfaction His method and manner was to derive his assurance and comfort from the written word Of the truth whereof he would say he had such a full persuasion as being the sure word of God that he did more firmly believe it than if an Angel should speak to him from Heaven according to 2 Pet. 1. 17 18 19 20 21. He could not satisfie himself with the expectation or apprehension of the immediate sole testimony of the Spirit without the word But would compare himself with the word frequently practising the duty of self examination Searching for those graces dispositions and operations in his heart which are promised in the word and to which the promises are made Which the Spirit of God enlightned him to discern and enabled him in a way of argumentation to infer thence his interest in Christ and the Covenant of God for his satisfaction and Spiritual Consolation And the Assurance which he attained in this method and by these means he thus Recordeth His Evidences 1. Evidences of true and Saving Faith After my recovery from a Sickness I set my self to examin and prove my faith to see if it were true and saving Because pardon of sin freedom from Condemnation eternal life with other great blessings are promised to Beleevers And much of our comfort in Sickness and health in life and death dependeth on the knowledge and proof of our faith and that I did believe in Christ with a true and Saving faith I was satisfied thus 1. From those expressions of Scripture wherein the nature and essential acts of faith are set forth as 1. Coming to Christ Joh. 6. 35. He that cometh he that believeth on me Coming is believing My Conscience bears me Witness that I am coming to Christ for Christ himself and all his benefits I sind my Soul drawn to Christ and upon all occasions looking and going to him 2. Receiving Joh. 1. 12. As many as received him even as many as believed on his Name Receiving is believing Now through grace I find my heart willingly receiving and thankfully accepting Jesus Christ as God offers him in the Gospel even an whole Christ Christ in all his offices to be to me Prophet Priest and King 3 Trusting Eph. 1. 13. In whom ye trusted ye beleived Trusting is believing This also I find that God hath given me an heart to rely on Christ for Righteousness grace and life 2 From the ground of my faith which is the word of God It is through my knowledge and acquaintance with the word that I have been brought to believe in Christ and through Christ in the Father that sent him And I read such as believe through the word are true believers for whom Christ maketh intercession Joh. 17. 20. and who have everlasting life and shall not come into condemnation Joh. 5. 24. 3 From this property and effect of faith viz. Prizing Christ 1 Pet. 2. 7. Unto you that believe Christ 't is precious The Apostle speaks of the faith of Gods elect ch 1. 2. and of saving faith ch 1. 9. Now I find Christ is precious to me so precious to my Soul that I value and prefer him above the whole world I account his blood precious which cleanseth me from all sin The promises exceeding great and precious which in him are yea and Amen Christ is so precious to me that I am willing to suffer for him Phil. 1. 29. yea I choose a suffering condition for Christ before the honours Riches and pleasures of the world when they cannot be enjoyed without sinning against Him Heb. 11. 24 25 26. I am willing to take up the Cross and forsake all things for him Evidences that I was one of Gods Servants Sept. 30. 1666. I considered with my self what evidence I had that I was one of Gods Servants and was satisfied from these Scriptures Rom. 6. 16. Know ye not that to whom ye yield your selves Servants to obey his Servants ye are to whom ye obey whether of sin unto death or of obedience unto Righteousness I find God hath given me an heart to yield my self to Him Nehem. 1. 11. O Lord I beseech thee Let now thine ears be attentive to the prayer of thy Servant and to the prayer of thy Servants that desire to fear thy Name Here I saw that such as desire to fear God are accounted Gods servants Which through grace I do Some doubtings arose in my heart whether I was one of Gods Servants because it is said Joh. 8. 34. Verily Verily I say unto you that whosoever Committeth sin is the Servant of sin For removing this doubt I considered 1. That the meaning of this Scripture is not that no man that hath sin in his heart or doth sin in his life can be Gods Servant but is a Servant of sin for then God should have no Servants upon the face of the Earth Eccl. 7. 20. There is not a just man upon Earth that doth good and sinneth not Joh. 1. 8. If we say that we have no sin we deceive our selves and the truth is not in us 2. It is said that the Servants of Sin are free from righteousness Rom. 6. 20. Now through mercy I follow after righteousness and find something of it whence I concluded I was not the servant of Sin 3. I saw that David held this conclusion that he was one of Gods Servants though he was compassed about with infirmities yea even at such time as he was under a sense of his sinful infirmities Ps 116. 11 16. O Lord truly I am thy Servant I am thy Servant yet he had said in his haste unbelievingly All men are liars David after he had committed the great sin of Numbering the people against the Counsel and Advice of his friends Confessed that he had sinned greatly and done very foolishly yet calleth himself a Servant of the Lord 2 Sam. 24. 10. 4. As I was Considering
God is a Spirit of truth and of life too Communicateth both grace and Gifts and teacheth as well 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 as 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Both which consisted together in this excellent person The word of God dwelt both in his Head and Heart and was effectually the Law of his Life He was a Burning as well as Shinning Light A man more than ordinarily mortified to the pleasures of the Flesh and vanities of the World freely and resolvedly devoted to the fear of God His Conversation was in Heaven his Communion with God his Delight in the Saints his Business Religion his Zeal for Holiness his main Design the glorifying of God and the Salvation of his own and others Souls Whereof the following Pages will I doubt not be an abundant Evidence not only to the Charitable but Rational judgment of the Christian Reader As for his practice of Mortification I shall not otherwise express it than in his own words as I read it in the records of the remarkable passages of his life by his own hand but after he had a family viz. Having been foiled by the lusts of my own Heart several times and considering what I should do to get rid of those lusts which had so often prevailed over me God directed me to three several means The one was suggested to me as I was walking in my garden and meditating on the affairs of my Soul and that was to be more frequent in Eyeing applying and meditating on the promises and the Scripture which the Holy Spirit of God set before me for this end was 2 Pet. 1. 4. By the precious promises given to us we escape the pollution that is in the world through lust The other was suggested to me as I was hearing a Sermon and that was to be daily applying the Lord Jesus to my soul grounded on Rom. 13. 13. 14. where the Apostle adviseth to put on the Lord Jesus Christ as an help against chambering and wantonness strife and envying The third was suggested to me as I was riding abroad and discoursing of the things of God which was Gal. 5. 16. Walk in the Spirit and ye shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh In pursuance of these means for the mortifying of the lusts of the flesh I determined with my self to Eye the promises of God more frequently then I had done and to that end I chose out some promises of daily and continual use and determined by the help of God to salute and embrace them once a day and not only to take a view of them my self but in my meditations and soliloquies to spread them before God and to put the Lord in remembrance of them For supplying all the wants of the day I chose that promise Phil. 4. 19. for growth in grace Hos 14. 5. for subduing my sins Mic. 7. 19. Rom. 6. 14. for success in my undertakings Ps 1. 3. for turning all the events of the day for good to me Rom. 8. 28. for the conversion and sanctification of my children Isa 44. 3. for my yoke-fellow and servants and all others in my family that they might get good from me and return to God and grow in grace Hos 14. 7. for sanctifying of my afflictions Isa 27. 9. Zech. 13. 9. for audience of my prayers Mic. 7. 7. Joh. 14. 13. 14. for grace and strength to manage all the works of the day to the glory of God Zech. 10. 12. for protection from dangers and casualties Gen. 15. 1. for giving me eternal life in case the day should bring death to me Luk. 12. 32. Joh. 3. 16. for counsel and direction in all cases of difficulty and unexpected emergencies Isa 58. 11. Ps 32. 8. I judged it also very conducible to the Glory of God and my own soul's good to manage all my employments as much as may be with an eye to the promises and as to my calling when I am studying to compose Sermons Deut. 28. 8. when I go to preach Math. 28. 19. 20. for success in my preaching Isa 56. 8. 65. 23. I was the more confirmed in this frequent and familiar converse with the promises not only as it helps on our participation of the Divine nature and our escaping the pollution that is in the world through lust but because the Lord commands us to be alwaies mindful of his covenant 1 Chron. 16. 15. and it pleaseth God to see us taking hold of his Covenant Isa 56. 4. and it is for the Glory of God 2 Cor. 1. 20. I determined also when I should feel the workings of any lust presently to look up to Jesus Christ It being the remedy which the Holy Ghost prescribes against such sins as do most easily beset us Heb. 12. 1. 2. I have often been encouraged and helped in this practice of looking unto Jesus to subdue my sins from Act. 3. ult God sent his Son Jesus to bless us in turning us every one from his iniquities Beza's note upon that text is very good and hath been of use to me viz. that the great word for inquities signifies the roots and habits of Sin I saw it was my duty and concernment every day to be more frequent in applying my soul to Christ and Christ his benefits to my soul In pursuance of the 3d means of mortification viz. walking in the spirit I resolved to endeavour to do my works and duties both to God and men more spiritually and in order hereunto to reduce my actings to some word and as oft as I could to eye some word of God as I was entring on them as for instance If I be called out by others or stirred up in my own Spirit to visit the sick or any afflicted person to have my thoughts on Math. 25. 36. or Jam. 1. 27. when any poor people come to me for relief or any object of charity is presented to me to eye Gal. 6. 10. or Hebr. 13. 16. or Isa 58. 10. or Eccl. 11. 1. or prov 19. 17. when a poor man cometh to borrow Deut. 15. 7. 8. 10. When to write letters take a journey or be any ways employed for others Gal. 5. 13. Phil. 2. 4. when to visit out of courtesy or do any thing which courtesy requireth 1 Pet. 3. 8. when to instruct my Servants and Children Deut. 6. 7. Gen. 18. 19. when to Catechise the youth that come to my family Joh. 21. 15. Prov. 22. 6. when invited to exercise abroad among poor or rich Isa 32. ult when to administer a reproof Lev. 19. 17. when to confer about Spiritual things Mal. 3. 17. This was the wise and holy method which this faithful Servant and Souldier of Jesus Christ prescribed to himself by Divine direction whereby to manage the Spiritual War with the sin that dwelt in him that he might not be overcome with it According to which he moreover charged himself with the practice of universal positive Holiness which he thus records Being under the rebukes of Gods chastising
strength of Adversaries Jan. 1. 1673. I awaked about four of the Clock in the morning and had many sweet meditations in my Bed for the space of about two hours I then resolved with my self to engage my heart afresh and to renew my Covenant with the Lord the beginning of this New year to be the Lords Servant to serve the Lord and his Son Jesus Christ all the remainder of the days I have to live in this world in such service as he should see meet to employ me The encouragements and inducements that were brought to my mind and drew out my heart willingly and cheerfully to give up my self to the Lord to serve him and his Son Jesus Christ were these 1. His promise of affording his Presence and Assistance to such as are his Servants and to be their God Isa 41. 8 9 10. 2. The great and precious promises made to his Servants Isa 54. per totum Which concludeth thus v. 17. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord. 3. We glorifie God when we serve him Isa 49. 3. Thou art my Servant O Israel in whom I will be glorified 4. God hath done great things for me both for my outward and inward man and the only thing that he requires of me is to serve him in truth and sincerity 1 Sam. 12. 24. 5. All Christs Servants shall assuredly be with him where he is and shall be honoured of the Father Joh. 12. 26. and shall enter into the joy of their Lord. Mat. 25. 21. May 19. 1676. Reading Levit. 22. 3. Whosoever of the Priests in their generations went unto the holy things which the Children of Israel did hallow unto the Lord having his uncleanness upon him that Soul should be cut off from the presence of the Lord And the ensuing Sabbath being Sacrament day I considered with my self 1 st That greater Reverence is due to the Lords Supper than to the holy things under the Law 2 ly Moral uncleanness is greater than Ceremonial 3 ly Therefore I considered how I might go to this Ordinance and Administer it to others without having my uncleanness upon me that is how I might be purged from my uncleanness To that end I determined 1. Humbly to acknowledge confess and bewail the uncleanness of my heart lips and life before the Lord. Isa 6. 5 6 7 8 9. When the Prophet bemoaned his uncleanness the Lord purged it away and sent him to do his Office 2. To go to the fountain set open for sin and for uncleanness Zech. 13. 1. that is to act my faith on the blood of Christ which cleanseth from all sin 1 Joh. 1. 7. 3. To rest upon God by faith for fulfilling his Covenant wherein he hath promised to cleanse me from all my filthiness and to save me from all my uncleanness Ezek. 36. 25 29. Act. 15. 9. 4. To plead earnestly with God to take away all iniquities Hos 14. 2. and to create in me a clean heart Ps 51. 10. and to succeed my prayers with endeavours to put away evil and uncleanness out of my heart and life Isa 1. 16. 18. 2 Cor. 7. 1. These are many of those judicious observations which this holy person made and those spiritual experiences he found and recorded for his own use that he might always have at hand before him the manner and method of Gods dealing with his Soul the workings of Corruption and grace his lapses and recoveries his combates and victories over world sin and Satan his perseverance and progress in holiness the secret intercourse between God and his soul the withdrawings and Returns of the Holy Spirit the faithfulness of Gods Covenant the truth of his word sensibly felt in his heart food for his faith encouragement to walk with God with experimental instruction how to comfort troubled Consciences In which part of the ministry he had a peculiar excellency beyond most part of his Brethren for partly by his diligent searching of the Holy Scripture partly by observing and recording the method of the Holy Ghost towards himself and partly by discoursing with troubled Consciences wherein as he was much exercised so he took much delight he was so acquainted with the various cases of Conscience and so well understood both Case and cure that it may be truly said of him The Lord God had given him the tongue of the learned that he might know how to speak a word in season to the weary On which account he might be sirnamed Barnabas a Son of Consolation It was his usual manner in preaching to foresee and raise such objections as troubled Souls are prone to make against themselves and to solve them with much clearness and satisfaction And many applications of such Souls were made to to him in private as to a Skillful Experienced Spiritual Physitian whose advice God succeeded with his blessing to the encouragement of the faith and hope of many doubting Christians that walked in darkness which are here published not only as Instances and demonstrations of that Spirit of Light and grace that power of Godliness which possessed and governed his heart and life and fitted him to be such a useful instrument for the Service of Christ and his Church on which account his memory is worthily honourable and precious to all good men But especially for the Instruction direction relief support and encouragement of others who are following him though at a great distance in that narrow way which leadeth to that life to which he is arrived They who labour and are heavy laden who are bowed down under the power and weight of their sin wrestling with Corruption and temptation exercised with darkness and doubtings with fears and faintings They who are called to difficult service which require much labour and diligence and self-denial and may expose them to the hazard and danger of this evil world may hence take Counsel and encouragement while they read the sense and workings of their own hearts in the experiences the method and practicablenesse of their duty in the example of this Eminent Saint We have hitherto seen somethings of his Conscience of Sin and duty his industry and zeal for the Service and glory of God his combates with the flesh and Satan his Love to Christ and his Church his Spirituality in Religion His longings and breathings after God His remembring God upon his bed and meditating on him in the night watches his wise improvement of the Holy Scriptures his due fulfilling of all Relations his Holy manner of Living to God From whence we may rationally conclude that surely he gave this diligence unto the full assurance of hope that he tasted the Consolation of God and received the earnest of Glory that he walked upon the top of Pisgah in the light of Gods countenance and in the sight of the Heavenly Canaan Which priviledge indeed the God of peace and comfort did not deny him He was a man as of much grace so of much peace an instance of that