Selected quad for the lemma: truth_n

Word A	Word B	Word C	Word D	Occurrence	Frequency Band	MI	MI Band	Prominent
truth_n	according_a	believe_v	scripture_n	1,612	5	5.8214	4	false

Text snippets containing the quad

ID	Title	Author	Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication)	STC	Words	Pages
A64409	The flaming hart, or, The life of the gloriovs S. Teresa foundresse of the reformation, of the order of the all-immaculate Virgin-Mother, our B. Lady, of Mount Carmel : this history of her life, was written by the Saint herself, in Spanish, and is newly, now, translated into English ...; Vida de Santa Teresa de Jesus. English. 1642	Teresa, of Avila, Saint, 1515-1582.; Matthew, Tobie, Sir, 1577-1655.	1642 (1642)	Wing T753; ESTC R33913	394,344	744

there And now by meanes of this consideration my Soule beganne to be so much more inflamed that my Spirit grew to be in Rapt and so as that I know not how to expresse it For me thought I was put and plunged into that Maiestie which I had formerly vnderstood but yet so as that I know not how to declare it In this Maiestie a certaine Truth was giuen me to be vnderstood which indeed is the accomplishment of all Truth but yet still I know not how to relate it For I saw nothing at all distinctly but they told me these words though yet I saw not who spake them only I knew that it was the verie Truth This vvhich I doe for thee is no small matter but rather it is a thing for vvhich thou ovvest me much because one of the mischeifs vvhich grovves to the vvorld proceeds from not knovving the Truths of Scripture vvith cleare truth but one tittle thereof shall not faile Now as for me I conceaued that my self had alwaies beleiued this yea and that all Catholiques had also beleiued it But then he sayd to me againe Alas my Daughter there be fevv vvho loue me according to Truth for if they did I vvould not conceale my secrets from them But dost thou knovv vvhat it is to loue me according to Truth It is to knovv that all is a Lye vvhich is not acceptable to me Thou shalt be able to see this clearly vvhich novv thou dost not vnderstand by the profit vvhich thy Soule shall get And so accordingly I haue seen it performed our Lord be euer praised for it For all things which are not addressed to the seruice of Almightie God doe of late seem to me so hugely to be vanitie and a lye that I am no way able to expresse how much I vnderstand thereof And it moues me to deep compassion to see men liue in so great obscuritie and ignorance as they are in of thy Truth but by this meanes I haue benefited my self in manie kindes whereof I will heer relate some and some I shall not be able to relate But our Lord sayd one word to me heer in particular with very great fauour though I know not also how this was For I saw nothing but I remained in such sort after it as I know not also how to declare euen that Only I am sure I remained by this meanes with a very great kind of fortitude and firme purpose of accomplishing euen the least part of Holie Scripture with the vttermost of all my power And nothing me thinkes could offer it self to me through which I would not passe for the making this good There remained also a truth of this Diuine Truth which was now represented to me though yet still I know not how so deeply engrauen in my hart that it made me carrie a new kind of profound reuerence to Almightie God For it imparts a notice of his high Maiestie and great Power after such a manner as cannot be described but I can only vnderstand that it is a mightie kind of thing I now remained also with a very great desire neuer to speake at all but of things which were substantially true and which might iustly take precedence of all that which vses to be treated of in this world And so I then began to find it paine enough euen to liue in it This Vision left me with a Regalo of great tendernes and with humilitie also It seemed to me that our Blessed Lord did giue me to vnderstand much in this vision though yet without my vnderstanding the manner of it but at least I was satisfyed well enough that it was no Illusion I saw nothing but yet I vnderstood the great benefit which there is in not making account of anie thing which brings vs not neerer to Almightie God and so I came to vnderstand what kind of thing it is for a Soule to walke in Truth in the presence of the same Truth That which I vnderstood is that our Lord gaue me to vnderstand That he is verie Truth it self And all these things at which I haue now pointed heer I vnderstood sometimes by their being spoken to me and at other times without speech but yet some of this latter sort with more clearnes then those others which were imparted to me by words I vnderstood very great truths of this Truth and better then if manie learned men had taught me and at least it seemes to me that they could by no meanes haue so imprinted them in my minde nor so clearly haue giuen me to vnderstand the vanitie of this world This Truth which I say was giuen me to be vnderstood is verie Truth in it self and it is both without beginning and without end and all other Truths depend vpon this Truth and all other Loues vpon this Loue and all other Greatnesses vpon this Greatnes though yet all this be deliuered by me with much obscuritie in comparison of that clearnes wherewith our Blessed Lord was pleased to impart it And how very well doth this become the great power of that Maiestie to leaue such things as these imprinted vpon the Soule whereby such aduantages are obtained and that in so short a time O Greatnes and Maiestie of my Omnipotent Lord What is it which thou art doing Consider who it is to whome thou art vouchsafing such Soueraigne Fauours Dost thou not remember how this Soule hath been a verie Abysse of Lyes and euen a deep Sea of vanities and all this through faults of mine owne For notwithstanding that thou gauest me an inclination which naturally did abhorre lying yet I made my self apt to treat in manie things after a deceiptfull kind of manner How art thou able O my God euen to endure me and how can so great goodnes of thine be shewed to one who hath so ill deserued it and how can so much Sinne against thee be compatible with such Fauours as these Being once reciting the Howers of the Diuine Office with all the rest of the Religious my Soule beganne to be suddainly recollected and it seemed to me that it was like some cleare and pure Looking-Glasse without hauing anie thing either on the back or on the sides or yet either aboue or below which was not all extreamly cleare And in the very Center thereof Christ our Lord was represented to me iust so as I am accustomed to see him It seemed to me that I saw him clearly in all the parts and portions of my Soule as in a Looking-Glasse and so also though I know not how our Blessed Lord himself was engrauen therein with such a certaine kind of enamoured communion or communication of himself as I cannot possibly expresse Only I know that this Vision hath been of very great benefit to me and is so whensoeuer I remember it and especially after I receaue the B. Sacrament But it was giuen me heerby to vnderstand that the being of a Soule in Mortall Sinne is to make this Glasse be couered

others of like condition that the conuersations vvhich she vsed and the contentments vvhich she tooke were lawfull That she conceaued not her self to be in Mortall Sinne for if she had knowne anie such thing of her self she would neuer haue endured it That she was euer a great enemie to detraction yea and that the vvorld vvas euer safe in that kind when she vvas present for euerie bodie vvho knew her knew also that she would not so much as endure that this Sinne should euer be cōmitted in her hearing That she was neuer any way subiect to Enuy And that she had also neuer obserued her self to offend Almighty God either by Hypocrisie or euen so much as Vaine-Glorie That she alwayes stuck so very fast to the truth of Holie Scripture and euen to the least Ceremonie of the Holie Catholick Church that rather then beleiue otherwise she vvould endure a thousand deaths That she vvas not cordially addicted to anie thing but to serue and please our Blessed Lord And that in fine the vvhole vvorld seemed to her to be no better then a very Hill of Ants. Now this vvas the verie truth of the Case and this was the state of our Saints Soule from the first to the last And yet vpon the cōsiderations which I touched before this Blessed and Heauenlie Creature I say Heauenlie euen vvhilst she vvas yet vpon Earth would needs conceaue her self once in Prayer not only to see but euen to feele her self to be in those verie torments of Hell vvhich she held her self as hath been sayd to haue deserued for her sinnes and vvhich indeed vvould haue been litterally and finally true if our Lord had not preuented her and accompanied her and conducted her by his Holie Spirit and Heauenlie grace without which what liuing Creature can be safe But that otherwise she had actually committed such sinnes as for which hose eternall tormēts might be indeed deserued seems to be but an vngrounded and vnsound opinion in realitie of truth For the constant excellencie of her Life was such as that she beganne at the first where others might be glad to end it namely with feruent and inflamed desires of Martyrdome euen when she was scarce eight yeares old and both continued finished the same afterward in such vertue and expresse sanctitie of the highest kind as that the world may be rather willing then able to admire it to such a proportion as it deserues And therefore that conceipt of her great Sinnes and of her deserued place also in Hell seemes partly to haue had the true foundation vpon the iealous and sollicitous and curious enamoured and inflamed Affections of the faithfull watchfull loyall laborious thoughts of our Glorious Saint which tended almost euer towards a complying in most perfect manner with the duties to which she held that she was liable in her self and with the Inspirations by which she was so constantly sollicited and called vpon and as it were euen Courted by the powerfull and pretious hart of our Blessed Lord and partly yea and peraduenture cheifly by the ill quarter which she conceiued and acknowledged her self to haue kept sometimes with our Blessed Lord by not corresponding with his heauenly grace and not complying with his holie Inspirations and commiting some neglects in that kinde whilst yet she was so enarnestly moued by his Diuine Maiestie to giue-ouer certaine naturall affections and recreations of hers In regard of which vnkindnesse towards Almightie God she might haue congruously deserued to be depriued of God's grace afterwards and then she might also haue falne by degrees not only into greater faults but euen into greiuous Sinnes which might truly haue been then ascribed to her former lesser offences And so it was meerly the vnspeakeable goodnes of Almightie God and no merit of hers that she was not permitted to fall by degrees euen as low as Hell it selfe Like a man who in a small distemper of bodie neglects the helpe of Phisitians and growes thereby afterward into mortall diseases death Now therefore in all such things as might concerne the estimation which she made of her self in order either to the excellencie or deformitie of her life there is and let the Glorious Saint forgiue me this errour once of speaking truth no credit at all to be giuen her because that subiect lyes but in the way of discourse all things in effect of that nature vse to be iust of that verie colour whereof those Glasses be through which they are seen and I haue already shewed that hers were of the partiall Cutt. But as for those other things which occurred to be set downe by her in the Historicall way or els which are related as hapning to the person of the writer in the vvay of fact whether it were more or lesse as namely that she did and suffered and sayd and heard and felt saw whatsoeuer she affirmed in those kinds whether it were in the Naturall or Supernaturall way there can be no question made as I haue shewed els where but that all was most certainly euen most punctually true For els she either must deceiue or be deceaued whereof the former were a great impietie but farre enough from her the latter all circumstances considered and especially in parriculars of that nature no lesse then a most impertinent absurditie to be either affirmed or beleiued as was partly touched before It is true that both in her Supernaturall Prayer and yet more in her Visions and Reuelations there are manie things which surpasse anie Vnderstanding which is but meerly Humane but so also are there in finit other Particulars in the Ecclesiasticall Historie concerning other Saints which howsoeuer they seem and are strange yea and much more strange then these yet are they generally and most iustly admitted to the degree of Morall beleif For as we Catholiques are instructed taught that on the one side we must not be so light or rather in fine to the end that things may haue their right names not so very weake and foolish as to beleiue strange and supernaturall things without a mightie deale of authoritie and proofe yea and the Church her self doth most bitterly Excommunicate whatsoeuer Creature in the world who shall knowingly propound anie false thing of this kinde to be beleiued so on the other side that they are most iustly to be held both rash and childish and foolish who beleiue not that which multitudes of the most and wisest and worthiest and learnedst and holiest men beleiue Though yet still in all these Cases wherein the Church hath not expresly declared her self we are not to beleiue things with Diuine Faith but only with a Morall humane beleif no nor euen so much as that but only when they are so abundantly proued to be true as that they can not rationally be denyed or euen doubted by anie prudent pious man For to resolue to beleiue nothing at all which is eleuated aboue the ordinarie

but as for Beginners learned men if they possesse not the vse of Prayer can be of little profit to them Yet I say not that they should not treat and conferr with such men as are learned for as for hauing a Spirit which should not be first setled in a way of truth for my part I had rather haue it without Prayer For Learning is a great matter since it instructs vs who know little and brings vs light and when we approach neer to the truths of Holie Scripture we beginne to doe that which we ought but as for sillie and foolish deuotions our Lord deliuer vs from them I will declare my self yet better for I feare I put my self vpon too manie things at once though I euer wanted meanes to know how to giue my self to be well vnderstood as I haue sayd but vpon the expence of manie words A Religious Woeman for examples sake will beginne to vse Prayer and in case some sillie kinde of man direct and gouerne her he will if the toy take him in the head giue her to vnderstand that it is better for her to obey him then her Superiour yea and he will doe it without anie malice at all as conceauing that he is in the right And now she being a Religious woeman will be likelie enough to thinke that he sayes true And if she be a married woeman he will tell her that it is best for her euen when she ought to be about her House-hold businesses to exercise her self in Prayer though it were to be to the disgust of her husband So that she knowes not how to dispose of her time nor of her businesses in such sort as that all may goe according to reason and truth because in fine that Directour wants light and not hauing any himself he cannot giue it to others though he would neuer so faine And though in order to this end it seem that there is no great need of Learning yet as for me my opinion both is and euer will be that all Christians shall doe well to treat with such men about their Soules as are well learned and so much the more so much the better and they who goe by the way of Prayer haue yet more need then others to meet with such men and so the more they shall be also Spirituall the better will it be for them still And let not folkes deceaue themselues with saying That learned men without the exercise of Prayer are not to the purpose for them who vse Prayer for I haue dealt with manie and for some of these latter yeares I haue endeauoured it the more because then I found my self in more necessitie But I was euer much a freind of learned men for though some of them haue not experience yet they hate not Spirituall people nor are not ignorant what these things meane because they euer find this truth that there is such a thing as a good Spirit by holie Scripture wherein they are continually versed And as for me I hold that a person who exercises Prayer and will treat with learned men shall neuer be deceaued by illusions of the Diuel if he haue not a minde to deceaue himself For I belieue that the Diuel is mightily afrayd of Learning whensoeuer it is accompanied with Humilitie and Vertue for he knowes that he shall be discouered in the end and that so he shall come to loose by the bargaine And now I haue sayd thus much because I know there are opinions that learned men are not fitt for persons of Prayer vnlesse they be also of Spirit Already I haue signifyed that it would be necessarie to haue a Spirituall Directour but if he proue not to be learned the inconuenience will be great yet it will be of much help to treat with learned men so that they be vertuous for though they be not Spirituall as in this case we vnderstād Spirituall they will yet be able to benefit vs and God will vouchsafe to enable them to teach vs yea and so may perhaps by degrees grow euen to make them also become Spirituall to the end that they may be able to instruct vs the better And I speake not this without some tryall for the occasion hath hapned to me with more then two I say therefore that if a Soule resolue to render it self to be entirely subiect to the order of anie one Directour she shall err very much vnlesse she procure in particular manner that he be learned especially if he be a Religious man of anie Order Because such an one is to be subiect to his Prelate or Superiour and in that case peraduenture all those three aforesayd parts which were sayd to be so necessarie for a Directour will be wanting to him which will be no little crosse to the Partie besides that he may perhaps find himself to haue voluntarily submitted his Vnderstanding to that of another man who hath no very good one himself At least forasmuch as concernes me I was neuer able to bring my self to it nor indeed doe I hold it conuenient But now if the Partie of whome we speake be a Secular person let him blesse Almightie God that himself may make choice of that man to whome he will resolue to subiect himself and let him take care not to loose this vertuous libertie Nay let him euen stay without anie Directour at all till he find a fitt one for our Lord will not faile to prouide him such an one if he goe wholy grounded in Humilitie and with desire to make a fitt choice For my part I praise a fitt Directour very much and woemen and such men also as are not learned were alwaies to giue God infinit thankes for that there are some in the world who take so great paines and trouble to obtaine the knowledge of truth whereof such as be not learned are ignorant And it amazes me manie times to see Religious men who are learned and particularly to consider with how much trouble they grew to gaine all that knowledge which is to bring me so much profit without anie more trouble of mine then only to aske them the question and yet that we should not benefit our selues by it But let not God permit that still it should continue to be so For I see them subiect to the troubles and mortifications of a Religious Life which are very great with Pennances with ill Diet with hard Lodging with being subiect in all things to Obedience and in fine I so perceaue that all is affliction and all Crosse that really the thought thereof doth cast me sometimes into confusion and me thinkes it must be a great miserie that anie bodie should loose so important a benefit by his owne fault It is possible that some of vs who are free from these austerities whereof I speake or at least if we feed vpon them we will needs haue them finely dressed after our owne fancie and so will liue as we list ourselues conceaue that

in the exercise of bounty Her compassion vvas most eminent to vvards the releife of all Creatures in miserye so especially vvas her sollicitude to consolate regale all such in all occasions as vvere intrusted to her care vvhilst yet she vvould needs be vnkind and euen as it vvere cruell to her selfe alone Aboue all things she was a most perfect Louer of Truth so full of matchless candour sincerity in all expressions vpon all occasions that she vvould no more haue euen so much as but disguised it and much lesse varyed from it in the least kind especially vvhen the question had any vvay concerned her owne aduantage then she vvould haue sold her selfe for a Slaue These I say vvere the conditions of this admirable Creature and these were the parts of her Minde vvhich yet I consider but in the nature of Fruits But they grew from these Roots vvhich follow A most profound Humility A most inuiolable Chastity A most strict loue of Pouerty A most vnshaken and inuincible Patience in despight of sharpe Sicknesses tormenting paines and endlesse persecutions A most ardent and inflamed Charity both towards God man which bred an eager and insatiable appetite to winne Soules An vndaunted Fortitude high Courage and that no less in the endeauouring great things then in the suffering hard things A constant continuall Supernaturall most Eleuated course of Prayer and Contemplation Such a kind of excellent Creature was this But yet whē I ouerlooked the little vvhich I had heer set downe I confess it seemed at the first euē in mine owne eye to be a very extraordinary Elogium of her Vertues and parts and as if it might perhaps haue had more in it of the Panegerick then of a iust Praise And therefore before I vvould giue it passage to the Print I looked attentiuely back vpon vvhat I had read of her concerning her resolutions and heroicall actions recorded in authenticall manner by diuerse graue and vvise Authours and in seuerall places also of her owne Workes and particularly vpon what is deliuered by Father Ribera in the Historicall Relation of her vvhole Life But when I came back from thence compared that kind of Descant vvith my Plaine-Song concerning the Saint I found my selfe to haue rather falne much too short then to haue any way ouer-short in this kind and that the particulars recounted with great authority els vvhere for the proofe of how she professed her selfe after a high most Heroicall manner in the practise pursuite of Vertue in order to all sanctity perfection to vvhich she aspired where by God's great mercy she ariued vvould haue no less auowed then encouraged my Penn to haue done her much more honour that is more right if it had not been employed by so vveake a hand as mine But in the meane time I haue considered the Example of the holy S. Hierome vvho vvriting of his S. Paula to Eustochium her Daughter hath these vvords I take Iesus and his Saints to vvitnes as also that particular Angell vvho vvas the Guardian and Companion of this admirable vvoeman That I vvill say nothing of her for fauour nothing after the custome of Flatterers but that vvhatsoeuer I am to deliaer shall be as if it vvere vpon mine Oath and yet still it vvill fall short of her merits And now this shall authorise mee also to take our Blessed Lord to witnesse that to the best of my poore vnderstanding I haue not mistaken my selfe about the celebration vvhich heer I make of our Saint in the point of haueing praised her too much but rather that I am growne to be her Debtour then her Creditour heerin For if euer there haue been in the whole vvorld many vvoemen of more admirable parts perfections both in their Intellectualls their Moralls which I account to be as the Simples of a Soule in the vse also thereof whereby those Simples grow to be mixed and whether wee shall consider them in the Naturall or Supernaturall way it is more then I haue been able to know either by reading or els by Discourse yet I haue been carefull enough to enquire But now the certainty of this truth will yet euen further appeare when I shall tell you that which followes And it is That when the Saint made obseruation had experience of the world 's great frailtie and lesse perfection and that the Religious Order and House vvhere she had entred had obtained certaine Relaxations and Dispensations from diuerse strict Clauses and Conditions of the first Institute and when she had also mett with some Customes through which euen her self had receiued disaduantage by dissipation and diminution of Spirit as namely in regard of great publique resort to the House and a multitude of vnnecessarie Conuersations and especially for that they were not bound to continuall Clausure but had libertie to goe abroad though yet only by leaue of their Superiours to visit their Parents and neer kinred at some times she grew into a full resolution That if euer it should be in her power to free her self from that course and to set more limited bounds vpon her wayes and to inuite others also by her example to expresse their great desire to gaine and perfect Soules she would not faile to put that purpose of hers in execution And so after the expiring of some time the encountring of manie impedimēts and the ouercoming a vvorld of difficulties she grew to expresse her loue to our B Lord but in the person of such Creatures as for whome he dyed to such a proportion and in so high a kind as to proiect and perfect so great and hard a vvorke as that perhaps no Woeman will be seen to haue euer procured and performed the like For to reforme a Religious Order and to reduce it to the first strict Institute is a matter of much more difficultie then to Found one And for a Woeman vvho vvas of no absolute power to command to passe through so manie impediments and to vvinne the Prize and to adorne euen that Originall Rule it self vvith so manie holie and wise Documents and Constitutions of her owne for the raising and true refining of Spirit according to the necessities and exigēces of those present most depraued times makes the busines become yet more hard and strange on the one side and more vsefull also more excellent on the other For as I conceaue it to be a truth that there is no one approued Order of Religious people in the Holie Catholique Church vvhich is not of the best of all others in that vvay of Spirit for which it was cheifly instituted by Almightie God and especially for those times in which it was instituted So is it not only pietie but euen prudēce also to beleiue that since this Blessed Woeman was stirred-vp by God's holie Spirit in this Age of ours for the redresse of our moderne great disorders that his Diuine Maiestie

be able to suffer the difficulties and troubles of a Religious life because formerly I had been vsed so delicately and vvas so nice But yet against this also I defended my self as vvell as I could by the afflictions vvhich Christ our Lord endured for me and that so it vvould not be much for me to endure some for him I ought also to haue considered that he would giue me help to beare them Yet I remember not whether I had this last consideration or no but I am sure I had temptations enow about that time I then also grew to haue great fitts of fainting by a burning Feauer into wich I fell for I alwaies had little health But it gaue mee euen my life at that time that already I was growne to loue good Bookes and so I came to reade the Epistles of S. Ierome which holpe me to such hart and courage as to make me resolue that I would impart my purpose to my Father which in effect was euen as much for me as to take the verie Habit vpon mee For I was euer so affected to maintaine the point of Honour that mee thinkes I could neuer haue turned back againe vpon any tearmes when I had first engaged my selfe by speaking any one word to the contrary But he loued me to so strange a proportion that by no meanes I could winne his consent nor was the intercession of such persons as I procured to moue him in order to my end of anie power at all to preuaile The most that I could get at his hands was that when he should be dead I might doe what I listed with my self But as for me I was in doubt of mine owne great weaknes as fearing that I might loose ground and fall back againe And so I thought it was not fitt for me to content my self with the offer which he made and I procured therefore to obtaine my end by another meanes which I will now declare THE FOVRTH CHAPTER VVherein she relates hovv our Lord assisted her to force herself to take the Habit of Religion And of the manie infirmities vvhich he began to bring vpon her IN these dayes whilst I was walking on with my hart in such determinations or strong purposes as I haue heer described I perswaded one of my Brothers to become a Religious man discoursing to him vpon the vanitie of the world and so we both of vs agreed to goe very early together one morning to the Monasterie where that friend of mine remained who was she to whome I carried so great affection though yet in this last firme purpose of mine I was growne to be of such resolution that I vvould liue vvhereseuer I thought I might serue God best or my Father should desire most that I might be for now I sought more earnestly for the good of my soule and made no account at all of rest or ease And I remember to the verie vttermost of what I am able to call to minde and according to the verie rigour of truth that whilst I was going out of my Father's house I belieue not that the sharpnes of sense will be able to be greater euen in the verie instant or agonie of my death then it was then For it seemed to me as if euerie bone which I had in my bodie had been disioynted from all the rest And there being no such loue of God in me at that time as vvas able to quench that loue vvhich my hart carried to my Father and Friends all that vvhich then I did vvas vvith so mighty a violence that if God had not giuen me great help mine owne consideration would neuer haue beē able to carry me on but heer he allowed me such courage euen against myself that I had power to put my purpose in execution At the instant of my taking the Habit our Lord gaue me vvell to vnderstand hovv highly he fauours them vvho offer themselues violence for the doing him anie seruice though yet no bodie had found by me but that I entred into the vvay of Religious Obseruance vvith much facility and good liking But at that verie instant I tooke so great cōtentment to put my self into that manner of life as hath neuer failed me once till this verie hower And God changed that drynes vvherein my soule had formerly been into an extreame tendernes and all the obseruances of Religion gaue me great delight yea and it is a most certaine truth that vvhilst I vvas sometimes going vp and downe to sweepe the house at such howers as before I had been vvont to employ vpon the gallanterie and regalo of my person and vvent considering that now I vvas free from that subiection it gaue me a particular ioy and that so very great that it amazed me nor vvas it in my power to vnderstand from vvhence the same should come VVhen I remembred and cōsidered this there could be nothing how grieuous soeuer vpon vvhich if it vvere sett before me I should not haue ventured to attempt For I haue already good experience of things enow to assure me that since God did help me in the beginning to resolue to doe such things as these vvhich being only donne for the loue of God he ordaines for our greater merit afterward that our soules should be in some trouble and terrour at the first and the greater that trouble is the greater and the more sauourie also vvill the reward therof fall out to be if vve goe through vvith the busines his Maiestie vvil also be pleased to recompense them highly vvel euen in this life by such vvayes as he only vvho enioyes them can vnderstand This I say I haue found true by experience in manie particulars of great moment And therefore if I vvere a person vvho might be vvished to giue my opinion I vvould neuer aduise anie Creature that vvhen anie good inspiration did often moue and set vpon a soule it should giue it ouer for feare of not performing the vvorke For if one goe on meerly and purely for the onlie loue of our Lord there must be no feare at all of good successe since the same Lord is powerfull enough to preuaile in all things And let him be euer blessed Amen These fauours vvhich thou hadst hitherto bestowed vpō me out of thine owne meer goodnes and greatnes might vvell haue been sufficient O thou my Soueraigne Good and repose of my soule to draw me towards thee by so manie vvindings and turnings to so safe a vvay of life and to a House vvhere there are so manie seruants of thine of vvhome I might learne to grow vp in pleasing thee But heer I know not how I can passe on to thinke of anie thing els vvhen I consider the manner of my Profession and the great resolution and gust vvherewith I made it and the Espousalls vvhich I perfected vvith thee For I cannot speake of this vvithout teares which were to be euen of bloud and not vvithout the breaking of my verie hart vvhich

with them and if I could tell how and especially if I thought that they would beleiue me for I recommend them very much to Almightie God and I wish that it might doe them good When a bodie resolues to venture his life he may in effect doe what he lists and I desire very often to loose mine for that were to venture little for the gaining of much But now one may thinke that there is scarce anie Creature in the world who indeed liues cōsidering how grossly visible that great deceipt and errour is which we carrie about vs and with what blindnes we conuerse in this world But when once the Soule comes to the passe of this Water they are not bare desires which she carries for the seruice of Almightie God for then his Diuine Maiestie giues her strength also to put them in execution Nor can there anie such thing be once represented to her wherein she may thinke to serue him vpon which she will not cast her self all at once and yet she will thinke all the while that she is doing nothing for now she sees very clearly that all things are meerly nothing which concerne not the giuing gust to Almightie God The onlie trouble in this case is that there is nothing indeed deseruing truly the name of trouble which will offer it self to anie such person as is so very vnprofitable as I am But be thou O my eternall Good so well pleased as that once some such little moment of time may occurr as wherein I may be able to pay the least imaginable crumme of all that great seruice which I owe thee Ordaine thou things O my Lord in what sort thou wilt so that yet this poore creature of thine may once be able to pay thee some little seruice There haue been other manner of woemen in the world who haue done heroicall things for loue of thee but I am good for nothing but to prate and so it is not thy pleasure O my Lord to employ me about putting anie thing in execution but that all the seruice which I am to doe thee must passe away in words and desires yea and euen I haue not libertie in this little and peraduenture I should be faultie in all But strengthen thou my Soule and dispose of it first O thou the Good of all Goods my deare Iesus and then ordaine things in such sort as that I may once be able to doe somewhat for thee and that there may be no such Creature in the world as should endure to receiue so much and yet withall to pay nothing Let it cost O my Lord what it can but let not these hands of mine appeare alwaies so very emptie in thy presence since Rewards are to be set-out and giuen according to the Workes Behold heer is my Life heer is my Honour and heer is my Will and thou knowest that I haue giuen it all to thee and am entirely thine and therefore dispose of me according to thine owne good pleasure I see O my Lord very well how little I am able to execute but yet being now come to thee and hauing mounted-vp to this Tower from which Truths are truly discouered if thou depart not from me there is nothing which I shall not be able to performe and yet if thou depart how little soeuer that may be I am to goe where I was which is into a kind of being in Hell O what it is for a Soule which findes her self in such condition as this to be put to returne againe to conuerse in the world and to behold and see the Antick and fantasticall Puppet-Playes of this life which are so ridiculously ordered and to spend time in complying with this Bodie of ours both by sleeping and eating for all this wearies the Soule which knowes not how to scape from thence but finds it self to be surprized and enchained It then sees much more euidently the true captiuitie wherein we remaine by the verie condition of these Bodies of ours and by the miserie of these liues which we leade and then we come to know very well the much reason which S. Paul had to beseech Almightie God to deliuer him from it wherein he cryes-out alowd and beggs libertie of his Diuine Maiestie as I haue formerly sayd But now this is often done with so very great impulse of minde that the Soule would euen faine get out of the Bodie in pursuite of this libertie and in the meane time since she cannot be freed she walkes vp and downe the world like one who were sold for some Slaue to serue and play the Drudge in a strange Country And that which afflicts her yet more is that she knowes not how to meet with manie who will be so well disposed as to lament with her and to desire that which she desires for they ordinarily desire but to liue O that once we might be vntyed from all things and that we might not place our contentment in anie thing of this world How would then that paine which we should find to be liuing alwaies without God appease and temper the feare of death through the desire which by this meanes we should haue of attaining to the fruition of eternall life Sometimes when I am considering how such a Creature as I to whome our Lord hath giuen this light with such an imperfect kind of charitie as I possesse and with so poore repose as I enioy since my life hath deserued no better can yet so often find my self in distresse for being in this bannishment of mine I may easily grow to imagine what kind of sense and feeling that would be which Saints haue had in this case and what kind of commotion a S. Paul and a S. Marie Magdalen and such others like them would find in themselues in whome the fire of the Loue of Almightie God did raigne It must certainly haue been a continuall Martyrdome to them To me it seemes that all the ease or rather indeed absence of paine which I might be able to find in this world were but to treat with some such persons as in whome I might be able to meet with such desires as these I say desires with deeds and I say yet againe with deeds For there are certaine people in the world who if you will beleiue themselues are absolutly vntyed from the world so they publish that they are and so indeed it is very fitt they were because euen their verie profession and condition requires as much and so also doe those manie yeares since they beganne to enter into the way of Perfection But yet this Soule of mine knowes well how to find a difference euen from farre off between such as desire these things but in words and such others as confirme their words by their workes For she knowes how to vnderstand very well the little good which these doe in the world and the much which is done by those others and indeed this is such a kind of thing as

me Let the Diuells of Hell torment me yea Let all creatures persecute me but only be not thou wanting to me O my deare Lord for I know by good experience with how much aduantage and fruit thou deliuerest all such persons as put their confidence in thee alone For when I was in this great and miserable affliction of Spirit at a time when I had not enioyed anie one Vision at all these only few following words were sufficient to free me from all trouble and to quiet me entirely Feare not O my Daughter for it is I and I vvill not forsake thee Doe not feare It seemes to me that considering what kind of Creature I was then there would haue been need of a long time to perswade me to quiet my self and that no bodie would haue been able to doe it and yet now behold me heer all quieted and composed by these few words and I was endued with strength with courage with securitie which was accompanied with a kind of repose and light in such sort as that at that verie instant I saw my Soule become a direct other thing then it was before and me thinkes I could euen haue disputed against the whole world in proofe that this proceeded from Almightie God O what a good deare God is this O what a good deare Lord is he and how very powerfull for not only doth he giue the counsaile but the remedie also His verie Words are Workes and O how doth he both strengthen our Faith and encrease our Loue It is really very true that I often called to minde how our Lord had commanded the windes to compose and quiet themselues at Sea when a Tempest had been raised And so also did I say Who is this whome all the Powers of my Soule obey and who at an instant brings-in light to chace so great an obscuritie away and makes that hart grow soft and supple which seemed to haue the verie hardnes of stone and knowes how to driue and draw-downe the water of sweet teares where there was so great a drougth so long before Who is he that can inspire these desires Who can imprint such a courage what was I about to doubt and what can I feare What is this I desire to serue this Lord and I pretend no other thing then to please him I renounce all contentment and ease or anie other good at all but only the accomplishing of his Will For of this I was very sure in my opinion and that I might safely affirme it that since this Lord is so powerfull as I see he is and as I know he is and that all the Diuels of Hell are his Slaues and of this there can be no doubt since it is matter of Faith and I being the Seruant of this Lord and King what hurt can they all be able to doe me and why may not I haue strength enough to fight with all the Powers of Hell I then tooke a Crosse into my hand and really I thought God gaue me courage to conceiue that I should be shortly another kinde of woeman and that I was not to be afrayd to wrestle a Fall with the Diuels but conceiued that togeather with that Crosse I should be easily able to ouercome them all yea and once I prouoked them thus Come towards me as manie of you as dare for I being the Seruant of our Lord will see what you all can doe against me And it is most certaine that I thought they were afrayd of me and for my part I remained so in quiet and so totally without feare of them all that all the feares which I had formerly conceiued till that verie present time were remoued from me For though I saw them sometimes as I shall declare afterward yet I neuer feared them more but conceiued that they were rather affrayd of me I possessed a dominion ouer them which had been giuen me by the Lord of all Creatures and I make no more reckoning of them then of so manie Flyes and they seem to be of so cowardlie a nature that when once they come to find that they are not esteemed they haue no power at all For this kind of enemie knowes not how to set vpon anie one who renders not himself vp to them or els when Almightie God permitts for the greater good of his Seruants that they may tempt and torment them I would to God it might please his Diuine Maiestie that we would feare whome indeed we ought to feare and that we might perfectly vnderstand that we shall receiue more preiudice by committing anie one single Veniall sinne then by all the power of Hell put togeather for this is a most certaine truth How extreamly doe these Diuels carrie vs frighted vp and downe because our selues indeed will needs giue occasion thereof by our being so close fastned as we are to our Honours to our Estates and to our Delights For then we being ioyned togeather with these impediments by louing and desiring to possesse them who are our contraries whome we ought to abhorre they grow able to doe vs much hurt For we enable them to fight against our verie selues with our owne weapons which we put into their hands though indeed we were to defend our selues thereby against them And this is both pitty and shame But now if on the other side we shall resolue to abhorre all those things for the loue of our Lord and embrace his Crosse and pitch vpon doing him seruice in good earnest he flyes as fast away from these solid truths as a man would doe from the Plague In fine he is a freind of Lyes yea and a verie Lye himself He is easily kept from medling much with such persons as walke entirely according to Truth but when once he can discouer that a mans Vnderstanding growes to be obscured he hath a particular grace in procuring to breake the verie strings of his eyes and if he see one already proue so blind as that he will needs build his rest and ease vpon vaine things and so vaine as that being things of this world they are no better then toyes fitt for children he findes already that such a person is a verie Child and so he treates him like such an one and wrestles with him more or lesse as he sees cause I beseech our Blessed Lord that I may neuer proue to be one of these but that his Diuine Maiestie may be pleased to doe me so much Fauour as that I may vnderstand that to be ease and rest which is indeed true ease and rest and that to be honour which is true Honour delight which is true delight and not the direct contrarie to all this and then a figg for all the Diuels in Hell for then they shall be all of them afrayd of me For my part I vnderstād not those feares of the Diuel and the Diuel and I know not what when we may be able to say God and God c.