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A42749 The post-boy rob'd of his mail, or, The pacquet broke open consisting of five hundred letters to persons of several qualities and conditions, with observations upon each letter / publish'd by a gentleman concern'd in the frolick. Gildon, Charles, 1665-1724.; Dunton, John, 1659-1733.; Pallavicino, Ferrante, 1615-1644. 1692 (1692) Wing G735A; ESTC R30411 212,135 446

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Women understood who lookt upon the most precious Ornament which they could wear upon their Heads to be a Dressing in the Shape of a Man's Foot to signifie that a Woman being without Brains and void of Wit has no greater thing to glory in then her Subjection to Man With the Ensigns and Marks of this Subjection as if they had been trampl'd under feet they honour'd the most noble Part of themselves not such Fools as others that trick up their empty Sculls with the Treasures of a robb'd Sepulcher laid out in Commodes and Top-knots or else load 'em with Chains of Pearl all sparkling with Diamonds and Rubies But notwithstanding all this Ingrateful and Tyrannesses as they are if they cannot obtain the Government over Man by any other means they ●ound a haughty Command upon the Empire of Flee●ing Beauty to subdue him under the Yoak of their indiscreet Commands Fickle and Inconstant they drag at the Tails of their imperious Wills those Hearts which by some malignant Influence are oblig'd to be subject to their despiteful Rigor 'T is not easie to set bounds to those Reproaches which Female wickedness deserves so much the more wicked by how much more being vail'd under Flattering lies and hypocritical Sincerity they betray the most Faithful Affections From your Conversation Madam I have learnt to confess what a scarcity there is of Accusations Chidings Reproaches Brandings and ●pbraiding in the greatest Plenty that a just Provocation can invent when a Woman is to be condemn'd But I shall enlarge my self no farther not that I have sufficiently satisfy'd my Anger but because I am u●willing to keep my thoughts any longer in that Tumult and Hubbub with which the Remembrance of thy Treacheries disturbs and ruines all my Quiet I have set down the Reasons why thy Sex ought to be abhorr'd that thou mayst be assur'd of my real Intentions to hate thee Since with that peace in thy Mind which thy Ingratitude has left me and may the pains be perpetual with which my Torments tho' but short are able to upbraid thee At length said Chappel we are come to the end of this long Bill of your Orator humbly complaining sheweth full of as many Truths as there are Accusations against the Women All Men said River accuse the Women but I meet with no body that condemns 'em they may be all well enough included in the Parable of the Adultress in the Gospel The Reason's at hand quoth I for the Women have an easie way to bribe the Men so that like corrupt Iudges they are willingly perswaded to salsifie the Sentence These Men reply'd Grave are like Cats that hide their Excrements in the Coles They that are the greatest Lovers of Women hide the Miscarriages of their Amours under the Semb●ance of Wrath. Hence it comes to pass reply'd Chappel that some great Men in Italy that boast of more Authority and Wisdom then others to avoid the being oblig'd to a rigorous Repentance for the same Error place their Affections upon the other Sex Go too quoth River let us not enter Rome that is not into a Discourse of Arsey Versey Love At the ●ame instant he cast his Eyes upon a Letter directed to Sir William in San Marino LETTER CX Every one believe● their Curiosity would receive here that Satisfaction which was expected So they read on To the Illustrious Here 's a Mistake at the beginning quoth Chappel he should have wrote to the Right Worshipful What then reply'd River you believe this Republic to be as proud as the Republic of Geno●a These plain Gentlemen that are more concern'd in Good Husband●y then in Ambition and are more desirous of Rain then Serenity Never deride these Gentlemen quoth I who in their Badges equal the Roman Dictators the one had Axes carry'd before 'em and these carry Axes themselves to cut their Wood and lop their Trees as occasion offers And don't you remember reply'd Grave certain Kings of Babylon that carry'd a Plough at the top of their Scepters So that every one of these Gentlemen ought to be a King for you may see 'em holding Plough-tails every day in the Field I cannot forget in advancement of their Grandeur reply'd Chappel that some of the Ancient Emperors rose from the Spade to the Scepter from Agriculture to Sovereign Command And therefore all the Ministers of this Republic ought to be acknowledg'd for Emperors seeing 't is a usual thing among them to go from the Plough to the Council-Chamber They would have enlarg'd their Iokes upon this Republic of Farmers but finding it a Letter that requir'd great hast they fall to reading of it in the following Words Illustrious Sir I Understand by a Friend of yours that you are about to provide your self with a Pacing-Mare for the Recreation of your Youth I therefore thought it a Debt of Friendship to write you some Instructions concerning this matter approv'd by Experience and dictated by Affection always desirous to assist you I suppose that this desire arises in you from the Seemliness of your Legs which inclines ye to ride in Boots and walk arm'd with good sharp Spurs If you have not a Leg so handsomly shap'd lay aside those thoughts for that otherwise your riding will be but a shame or a trouble to ye You must never be tyr'd and to run leaping into the Saddle is an evident Countersign that you have learnt the Tricks of a good Horse-man To make use of a young Col● resembles the more graceful Exercise of a young Fantastick and has some signs of Grandeur as being in imitation of several Persons of great worth But the danger of being thrown and least the Horse should get the mastery of ye as being untamable and high-metal'd will not suffer me to perswade ye to take that course perpetual restlesness continual neighing lofty prancing and an high Trot I number among those Qualities in riding that pay a greater tribute to Ambition than Pleasure Chuse a Race Nagg of which you may make use after several manners to all your Content A good ordinary Pace is much to be valu'd for that if at any time for the change of motion you desire a wracking pace 't is easily brought about Have a care that your Horse be not one of those that are wont to run away with their Riders in regard that by riding such sort of Beasts a man hazards the breaking of his Neck You must never make use of him in a Tilt-yard nor to run at the Ring in regard that the prolonging a Journey of Pleasure is to make happy by the privation of Inconvenience those Delights which never by their good will would be at their Journeys end The Qualities of a good Courser I shall not recommend to you as not being so well skill'd because it would require a large description and therefore you ought to have no other aim but only to chuse a good Crupper and a Horse that ambles neatly which makes it a Pleasure
slightness of the Boxes being put up but the Paper undeceiv'd 'em and shew'd 'em the substance of the Letter which was as follows LETTER CXI In defence of Cuckolds 'T was directed 〈◊〉 Mr. Remford at his House in 〈◊〉 This deliver with speed Honour'd Sir YOur being in such a heat against the 〈◊〉 well-meaning Gentleman that makes his 〈◊〉 common affords me an occasion to stand up 〈◊〉 his defence I know I shall be laught at and ●●●haps acquire to my self a Title of The 〈◊〉 Advocate however this will be my honour 〈◊〉 I shall have Clients generally over all the 〈◊〉 and be in a post wherein I may be able to 〈◊〉 my Friends Besides that contrary to the 〈◊〉 of other Advocates to flea their Clients I 〈◊〉 have the advantage of giving 'em Horns to 〈◊〉 Skins And to say Truth I know not by 〈◊〉 Law this Dishonour is enacted only grounded 〈◊〉 on the Humor of the Vulgar and an 〈◊〉 proper to Lovers that are jealous to the 〈◊〉 which they possess Love being always afraid 〈◊〉 losing the pleasing Object has oppos'd this Pretence as a Rampler against whoever pretends 〈◊〉 usurp it or at least to communicate it Now is 〈◊〉 person remarkable for his Learning or his 〈◊〉 to be subjected to the will of a young 〈◊〉 Boy or is he to second the Fears of a disarmed 〈◊〉 Permit that poorness of Spirit to young 〈◊〉 ●ho being tyranniz'd over by this Passion make a ●oman their Idol and that they may have her in●●parable so as to adhere to no body else chain 〈◊〉 up with these Fetters of Honour And let 'em 〈◊〉 use of that lye to prove retiredness necessary 〈◊〉 a Woman that she may not assume to her self 〈◊〉 lawless Pride to refuse both Bridle and Yoak 〈◊〉 may be reduced by the terror of Disgrace with●● the Hands of due subjection Moreover he is a noble and couragious Person ●ho knows how to encline a Woman to his Will ●ho falls in love with a Woman but not so 〈◊〉 as to break his Neck for her and omits 〈◊〉 vain Ceremonies which oblige him to 〈◊〉 his Reputation in a frail Woman which the 〈◊〉 knock breaks presently to pieces Every time 〈◊〉 upon the Truth of this I cannot but 〈◊〉 the Folly of him that set up this for a Law 〈◊〉 laugh at the Simplicity of him who put it first 〈◊〉 execution And where was it ever taught that the Goods of 〈◊〉 Mind had any dependance upon the corporeal 〈◊〉 whereas the contrary should rather be true 〈◊〉 it self as a Virtue has no relation to the 〈◊〉 of the Members though there be a 〈◊〉 of their being both together Shall only 〈◊〉 then be conjoyn'd with the Body and with 〈◊〉 Body as is that of a Worm and to the 〈◊〉 of a Gem so precious as that in the 〈◊〉 and Dirt of a filthy Morasse Your Goats from whose natural Properties the Title of Cuckolds was translated to married men 〈◊〉 suffer their Wives to be freely enjoy'd by others as those Creatures leave their Females at 〈◊〉 to copulate with others of different kinds and receiv'd this Precept from a tameness of Nature which is practis'd in the Simplicity of Lambs Incapable of anger they deny it to be a true incentive to Wrath for them to see another usurp that which is common and which being u●urp'd 〈◊〉 far from being lost Shall it be judg'd a Dishonour to imitate a Mildness celebrated by all Authors and to be like a Creature taken universally for the Symbol of Perfection And why did Nature priviledge that Creature by granting that Virtue only to the Blood of a Goat but because she would reward the best disposition of Creatures with a singular Faculty to make him superior to the most precious of her Works If any object that there is a great difference in the comparison by reason of the Ties of Matrimony between Man and Woman whereas there are no such things among Beasts the points of Dishonour are then reduced to breach of Faith and the prejudice of interchangeable Obligation But i● that hold true 't will be a Dishonour also 〈…〉 Adulterer's part who lies with a Woman in 〈◊〉 of the conjugal Duty and then this sort of ●●proach would be universal in the World especially among Rioto●s men seeing there are very few 〈◊〉 observe their Words or maintain the reality 〈◊〉 their Promises Upon this consideration the divine Law-giv●● made the Crime equal as well in reference to 〈◊〉 Man as the Woman the Crime being alike so long as the transgression of a Duty which is equal is 〈◊〉 same Men perhaps in this particular imitate your Grandees who deny submission to the Law de●●ing to be subj●ct to this Law of Dishonour as su●●riour to Women by whom it was enacted W●men therefore as they condemn this Opinion 〈◊〉 relation to Princes so they reject it in the partic●lar of married men Hence it follows that not being under any Obligation they shew the Law to be vain in regard that partial or particular Laws never oblige in common Interests Thus the Lawyers determin it by whom a Woman is acquitted tho' married that meerly for Love surrenders her Body to another An evident consequence which removes those rigorous Impositions of Scandal from marry'd men who permit that liberty since no 〈◊〉 can be absolv'd to the prejudice of the Party ●nterested And therefore I would not have you be so rigorous in condemning your Friend very ●●dicious in not contending always to keep the Key● of his Wives Lock for fear her Reputation should 〈◊〉 a gadding Nor would a man be willing always to be breaking his Brains to chain up the free will of his Wife which as some Opinions hold has a free dispensation from above By my Faith I ●●ould always chuse to converse with Gentlemen of this humour and should profess my self to be their humble Servant He that has any Sence is 〈◊〉 this opinion and he that will live without di●●bance confirms the same by Experience imi●●●ing those great men who are the Exemplars of 〈◊〉 and happy Life He that cannot bring his 〈◊〉 to conform to this opinion let him forbear ●●rylng Nor let him be a Slave to the Humour of the blind Vulgar which when they undertake to b● your Guides lead ye into Precipices If you 〈◊〉 not satisfied with my Reasons excuse the ●●akness of my Wit and the misfortune of a 〈◊〉 which cannot be made publick because 〈◊〉 men are so blind as not to see it Excuse my 〈◊〉 in presuming to contradict ye and when 〈◊〉 acknowledge this Boldness to be an Effect of ●y Confidence assure your self that as I preserve 〈◊〉 Memory of your Favour to confide in it so it is my Care to maintain my Obligations In conformity to which being desirous to serve ye I shall attend your farther Commands This man's Doctrine said Chappel has many Disciples as being practis'd chiefly in the most remarkable Cities Much good may