Knowledge in a dying Hour I was so long in opening those Two Heads that I had no time for Application only address'd my self to the Auditory which was then the most Numerous I ever before or since saw in Havant and I will because I can give you some brief Account of that for I took some Notes of it which are as followeth I shall instead of the several Uses that might be made of this Doctrine I have been discoursing of apply my self in a few Words 1st To Young Ones 2dly To the Relations of this deceased Person 3dly To this Society 4thly To all and every one of this great Congregation 1st To you that are Young You are come this Evening to the Funeral of a young Gentlewoman who was called away by Death in the Flower of her time She was fit to die and therefore she died to live But how is it with you I beseech you consider you may die even now in your youth as well as she Ay! But are you as well prepared for it as she was Oh! Dreadful dying without an Interest in the Lord Jesus Christ You had better never have been Born then die to go to Hell for ever which will most certainly be your Portion if you die in a Christless State Oh that you would take example by this blessed Virgin to Fly youthful Lusts To remember your Creatour in the days of your Youth And now Oh! now in the Morning of your Age to look Heaven-ward I may say of the deceased as Simeon said of the Lord Jesus in his infant-Infant-state Luke 2.24 Behold this Child is set for the fall and rising of many in Israel and for a Sign which shall he spoken against Oh! So verily this young Saint as a glorious Star was shining in this Horizon for the fall and rising of many that is both in Judgment and in Mercy to many in these parts In Judgment to be a greater and more Terrible Condemnation to those Obstinate young ones that will still keep on in their Lusts still continue in their Sins still slight and Contemn the Tenderness of Grace in the Gospel after so great and amazing an instance of the Riches of free Grace the fulness of divine Love extended unto her In Mercy to you who will be affected with what God did abundantly for her in a way of special Grace and therefore will be looking unto Christ as Believing there is the same Free-grace the same rich Love the same bottomless Ocean of Pardoning Healing and Soul-saving Mercy for you as she found as she tasted as she Ravishingly Experienc'd in the day of her Distress Oh! hear this dead Saint speaking to you in David's words Psal 66.16 17. Come and hear all ye that fear God and I will declare what he hath done for my Soul I Cryed unto him with my Mouth and he was Extolled with my Tongue Oh! hear her thus speaking to every Soul of you You young Men and Maids that are yet in the Gall of Bitterness and in the Bond of Iniquity that are minding nothing but the satisfying your Lusts that have no sense of Heaven and Eternity or what will become of your Immortal Souls for ever I was once in the same condition and running on in the same excess of Riot I was once as dead as Carnal as Vain as Frothy as you are But God broke my heart and Melted my Soul with Trembling and Affrightning Shakings under the vvoful Apprehension of a lost Condition and a Flaming Hell that I look'd every Moment to be plung'd into And then he comforted and Reviv'd me with a Sensible Manifestation of redeeming Love then he made knovvn to me the Wonders of Soveraign Grace in fully Revealing and discovering Christ with the avail of his Pretensions Death and Sufferings to my Soul I Cryed to him in the day of Distress and he Graciously Vouchsaf'd his Ear He brought me up out of the Horrible Pit out of the Miry Clay and set my Feet upon a Rock even the Rock of Ages with whom I am now in Glory and shall be so for ever Oh! Therefore you my former Carnal Companions be intreated to seek the Lord whilst he may be found and to call upon him while he is yet near Do not let a Dalilah's Lap deprive you of an Abraham's Bosom Do not for the fading Pleasures of a Transitory Life Subject your precious Souls to eternal Ruin Oh! Let my Case the unexpressible Sorrows I have gone through for Sin and the true pleasures I have found in the ways of Grace and Holiness have a powerful convincing and perswading Effect upon you The good Lord help all you young ones to hear this dead Saint thus speaking to you 2dly My next word is to you that are the Relations of this blessed Person and 't is what our Saviour said to the Mourners about the Damsel we read of Matt. 9.24 The Maid is not dead but Sleepeth So your Daughter your Sister your Relation for vvhom you are in so much Bitterness and because of vvhom your hearts are ready to break vvith sorrovv Oh! She is not dead but Sleepeth Indeed as to you she is dead and you will see her no more with a mortal Eye but unto God she is alive and with him wâ—ll live for evermore Oh! Therefore Assuage your Grief dry up your Tears make no Bevvailing for her for she is better and in a far better State than you Oh! therefore turn your Lamentation for her into Imitation of her think not of her Immature death but of her holy and examplary Life and be ye followers of her who through the abundant increase of Faith and exercise of Patience was fitted for the Kingdom above and is now with the triumphant inheriting the Promises being in Possession of that Inheritance which is Incorruptible Vndefiled which fadeth not away And as to her outward Man she is but fallen asleep and will be awakened again at the joyful Morning of the Resurrection Though she be now with Job saying to Corruption thou art my Father and to the Worm thou art my Mother and my Sister though after her Skin Worms will destroy her Body yet in her Flesh shall she see God I will therefore commend the Apostle's Words to your serious Consideration which I hope may afford you some matter of Consolation at least be a rational Ground for the alleviation of your present Sorrow on this sad Occasion 1 Thes 4.13.14 But I would not have you to be Ignorant Brethren concerning them which are asleep that ye Sorrow not even as others which have no hope for if we believe that Jesus died and rose again even so them also which sleep in Jesus will God bring with him Again v. 16. For the Lord himself shall descend from Heaven with a shout with the Voice of the Archangel and with the Trump of God and the dead in Christ shall rise first On which sweet Conclusion and most comfortable truth I would ground my pressing Exhortation
this Maiden-Gentlewoman another was awaken'd by it who is since joyn'd to our Church But I told Mrs. Mary she argued wrongly against her self for if the Gospel were indeed hid from her she would have no manner of Sense of that judgment for all that are Reprobates and so in a lost State the Gospel being hid from them are past feeling having their Consciences seared as with an hot Iron But you said I having thorough Mercy such a quick Feeling and being so awfully apprehensive of the Dreadfulness of the Judgment are so far from having the Gospel hid from you that you may be assured God is Graciously coming towards you to reveal the Beauty and Glory of it unto you This did not satisfie her but persisting in her Despairing Language told me she was in a Perishing Condition and should be Damn'd I asking a Reason of this Desperate Conclusion she with a Ghastly Look and Mournful Accent answered I have been a great Sinner and there is no Mercy or Pardon for me What shall I do What will become of me for ever At the pronouncing of these words she Trembled wrung her Hands and wept bitterly Upon which I applied my self to her in the following Terms Mrs. Mary You through Ignorance as yet of the Gospel are guilty of a great Mistake in inferring an Impossibility of Pardon from the Greatness of your Sins For this is to argue against the Nature of Free-Grace which overtakes and fastens hold on the very Greatest and Worst of Sinners And against the Compact of the Father and the Son in the Covenant of Redemption For as in that Covenant the Father on his part promiseth the sending down of his Spirit to bow and bend the Wills and incline the Hearts of the most Obstinate and Rebellious Sinners to lay hold upon a Saviour by a true and lively Faith So the Son on his part promised to give himself a Propitiatory Sacrifice upon the Cross sufficient to atone the greatest Sins any of the Posterity of Adam could possibly be guilty of whereby to the Amazement of Men and Angels Pardon is not only a Gracious but a Righteous Act in God and the Sinner may plead for it upon account of that Everlasting Atonement made by the Son of God This the Apostle John who lean'd on Christ's Bosom and thereby knew the Secrets of his Heart and the Wonders of Redeeming Grace flowing from his Lips I say he even he plainly declares and clearly holds forth this adorable Truth in that Gospel-Apothegm 1 Epist 1.9 If we confess our Sins he is Faithful and Just mark that to forgive us our Sins and to cleanse us from all Vnrighteousness Moreover I farther told her this arguing is against the very literal meaning of many Sweet and Precious Promises made by the Lord himself on purpose to put such Poor Distressed Creatures as you are out of Doubt of his Grace and Mercy As that in Isa 1.18 Come now and let us reason together saith the Lord though your Sins be as Scarlet they shall be as white as Snow though they be red like Crimson they shall be as Wool Come Mrs. Mary said I What do you think of this Reasoning from the Richness of the Covenant of Grace and from the Infiniteness of that Satisfaction made for Sin by the Lord Jesus Christ the Mediator of the New Covenant Her answer was This Promise belongs to those that are in Christ but I am far enough from him and have no mind to him nor no Heart to believe in him nor can I do any thing that is good I told her she spoke as a Legalist not yet acquainted with the Way and Mystery of the Gospel which calls Persons from themselves and shews them their utter Inability and Incapacity to do any thing of themselves Then I turn'd her to another Promise Isa 43.24 Thou hast bought me no sweet Cane with Money neither hast thou filled me with the Fat of thy Sacrifices but thou hast made me to serve with thy Sins thou hast wearied me with thine Iniquities I ask'd her what she could say worse of her self than God said of this People so full of all manner of Abominations But yet said I Pray observe the two next Verses 25 26. I even I am he that blotted out thy Transgressions for my own sake and will not remember thy Sins Put me in remembrance let us plead together Declare thou that thou mayest be Justified I told her from these words that a putting God in remembrance of his Gracious Promise to pardon and forgive Sin any Sin all Sins how great soever and to blot out all Iniquities let their Magnitude or Multitude be what it will upon the account of Christ's infinite Satisfaction which he has given to Divine Justice and an humble yet earnest Pleading the avail of it at the Throne of Grace would be more pleasing and acceptable to God and far more Comfortable and Beneficial for her than thus in Diffidence and Despair to lye down under the Sense of Guilt and give up her self as lost precluding thereby the Operation of the Spirit of God which would work a saving Repentance unto Life in her The answer she made was This Promise how Sweet soever in it self it was could be of no use nor afford any Comfort to her in her present Condition for that she could not Pray or Plead at all and her Heart was quite barr'd and bolted against any good Motion or Inclination and she was as one wholly destitute of the Spirit and forsaken of God And then lamentably cry'd out My Day is past and I am Undone Undone I ask'd her if ever she was in the like Condition before She answered No never in her Life Then I told her What she had said was not could not be true if God's Word may be believ'd for according to that none but those who were Once enlightned which she never was before and have tasted of the Heavenly Gift which she never before did and were made Partakers of the Holy Ghost which did never stir in her before and have tasted the good Word of God the relish and savor of which she never before understood and the Powers of the World to come to which she had been hitherto altogether a Stranger can possibly be in danger of having their Day past And therefore this being the first time of God's coming towards her in an awakening manner alarming her Soul with the Sense of a Future State though her Sins were so terribly set in order before her yet her distracting and terrifying Fears were without any Scriptural Ground For as I farther alledg'd this was God's common way of dealing with those whom he design'd special Love and Mercy to first to shew them their lost and undone Condition by Nature as they are the wretched Off-spring of Fallen Adam and to shake them over the Scorching Flames of Hell and make them tremblingly apprehensive of his deserved Wrath and Indignation that so the Redemption
more such extream Fits of Agony after this day or that she broke forth into such direful Exclamations and Lamentations as she did before Which made me heartily bless God both publickly and privately for the beginning of his Appearance though it was but in a restraining way that though she had not that solid Comfort and inward Peace which I did unfeignedly wish her and sincerely without ceasing begg'd for her yet she had much greater ease with respect to her Burthen under which she had so long a time groaned and was not tortured with those griping and Soul-tormenting Pangs as frequently in days and months past she had been In this middle State as I may say which as to her was neither clear nor dark neither day nor night but something between both she remain'd several Weeks in which time I frequently went to her as my other occasions would admit but she very often came to me earnestly desiring me to pitty her and pray for her but would never go away till I had pray'd with her Her Discourse was grave and moderate yet always in a complaining Strain Lamenting 〈◊〉 absence of God and bitterly crying out of her hard deceitful Heart As Winter came on she grew more and more Melancholy yet the Fire of her Sorrow was confin'd to and pent up in the Hearth of her own Breast and burned inwardly to the great decaying both of her outward and inward Man and manifested it self only by the Sparkles of some woful Sighs and Sobs arising from her Heart that could not possibly be kept down Oh! With what languishing and pitty-bespeaking Eyes did she look upon me How mournfully and in a low still Voice would she say to me Ah! Sir you know not how it is with me I am a great deal worse and in a much sadder Condition than you can imagine This doubled my Concernedness for her and put my Spirit upon the Rack in musing for her What thought I come into the Harbor ready to drop Anchor and yet forced again to Sea upon the main Ocean to be tossed with these impetuous Waves I spoke as the Lord inabled me whatever words he put in my Mouth unto â—er I pray'd again and again from time to time with her I Wept and made Supplication to my God for her but no Alteration for the better could I see in her for the Comforter was not yet come Therefore was she again Weeping and her Eyes running down with Tears therefore was she crying in the Morning and bemoaning her self in the Evening because he that alone could relieve her Soul was far from her and because the things that belong'd to her Peace were as yet hid from her Eyes Two things I confess in this interim run in my mind that were a great Support to me under my unfeigned Trouble and Anxiety for her The one was that the Holy God who is above the reach of Angels in his doings who giveth no account to Creatures in Heaven or Earth of any of his Matters for Reasons and Ends best known to himself would convey Comfort to her from some other hand I was not to be the Person The other was That this might be the last Effort of the Tempter and that he was come down in the greater Wrath because he knew he had but a short time to be Disquieting and Perplexing the Soul of this tender Lamb. And I was not deceived in either of them as the sequel will shew For my Occasions calling me about that time to London where as soon as I came meeting with that truly eminent and excellent Servant of the Lord Jesus Mr. Richard Robins he told me he had received a pressing Invitation to begin the Work of God in the new Erected Meeting-house at Chichester and was accordingly preparing for his Journey and earnestly importun'd me to supply his place in his absence I yielded on this Condition that he would go one Sabbath to Havant that so my own dear People might not be wholly destitute during my stay at London which I foresaw would be two or three Weeks to which he consenting on these terms we parted And after he had been one Lord's-day at Chichester he according to his Promise went the next to Havant and a blessed going it was for now no longer poor but rich Mrs. Mary Harrison For then by his Ministry through the Gracious Concurrence of the Spirit of God what was said of old to Israel was abundantly made good to her in full measure yea running over Ezek. 16.6 And when I passed by thee and saw thee polluted in thy own Blood I said unto thee when thou wast in thy Blood Live Yea I said unto thee when thou wast in thy Blood Live God now so saw her as to pitty her and so pittied her as to speak yea he spake loud and home by his Servant to her and by the Power of that Word not only sounding in her Ears but through the mighty Efficacy of it reaching her Heart and piercing into her very Soul he made her Live He at that time For the time to favour this Captive Daughter of Zion yea the set time was come breath'd into her that Life which in the Inchoation of it was Spiritual and in the Perfection of it is now Eternal So again v. 7. I have caused thee to multiply as the bud of the Field and thou hast increased and waxen great and thou art come to excellent Ornaments thy Breasts are fashioned and thy Hair is grown whereas thou wast naked and bare Oh! verily she that was as a dry Plant as a withered and dead Tree began now to bring forth Fruit as A Tree planted by the Rivers of Waters even the Tree that is full of Sap one of those Cedars of Lebanon which God hath planted She that was so little so nothing in her own Eyes received now thorough the Golden Pipes of Grace emptying themselves into her Soul some Life and Strength and began to increase in that Strength She that before could not in the least taste or savor any word that one and another of the Servants of the living God was continually speaking to her had now her Breasts fashioned to receive and let in the sincere Milk of the Word which now was precious to her and more esteemed by her than her necessary food She whose Thoughts before were desperate being of nothing but Destruction and Perdition and of being miserable for ever could now joyfully think of the Love of God in Christ and apply it to her self Thus through the infinite Riches of Free Grace to her her Hair began to grovv she vvho before savv and could see nothing else and therefore deeply bevvail'd her self as naked and bare novv began the Scales falling from her Eyes to apprehend the Righteousness of a Mediator and to have a comfortable Sense thereof as most excellent Ornaments for her reviving Soul And novv she savv and seeing believed that being Cloathed upon with that House which is from
to day Now was her Head anointed with the Oyl of Joy and Gladness above most of her Fellow-Saints in such a State Now she was made to lye down in green Pastures and led beside the still Waters And now Oh! now after so much Fearfulness and Trembling had come upon her after such great and dreadful Horror had so long overwhelmed her her Soul was fully and perfectly restored and she set at liberty and that not only from the Suggestions of Satan whereby she was plunged for a time into a Gulph of Misery but from all the Evils Perils and Dangers in the Regions of Mortality which she had been so long burthened and lamentably afflicted with For Now was given to her the Wings of a Dove wherewith in a wonderful Swiftness and Celerity she flew up into the Mansions of Everlasting Glory At night when the Room was clear'd her Relations departed leaving her to her Repose little thinking or imagining her end had been so near she said to a sober Maid that staid and watch'd with her in an Extasie of Joy though with a quivering Voice I see my Saviour I have him in my Arms I know that my Redeemer Lives With which words she sweetly closed her Life and so shall I the Account of it with this earnest and unfeigned Wish Sic mihi contingat vivere Sicque mori Lord lett me live in this Saints high degree And let my Death like hers Triumphant be I will now give you her Picture drawn according to my weak Ability with a Sacred regard to Truth as to every Feature in it and though Strangers may not I am sure all the Houshold of Faith hereabouts will believe me because they knew her and therefore know that every thing I say of her is really true First She was under a thorough and most effectual Conviction her Wound was not Skin-deep but reach'd and pierc'd her very Heart yea her whole Heart was deeply afflicted I have rational Grounds for my Confidence in a erting that the Gaoler when He called for a Light and sprang in and came trembling and fell down before Paul and Silas Acts 16.29 Nor Mary Magdalen when she lay prostrate at her Saviour's Feet bitterly Weeping and Lamenting her self in the woful Sense of her Sinful State Luke 7.37 No nor Manasseh when his proud Heart was broken and his Soul bowed down with Pain and Anguish so that He humbled himself greatly before the God of his Fathers 2 Chron. 33.12 Were either of them for surely they could not be more thoroughly more effectually struck than this young Maiden was I have been with many very many in my time under very sharp Convictions in dreadful Soul-pain and Anguish under the woful Apprehension of their Lost State But I must leave this Solemn Testimony upon Record I never saw the like of her before She was and that for many Months together in the same Passion of Sorrow as Peter was at his Master's looking upon him on the Cock's Crowing when he went out and wept bitterly Luke 22.62 That is Abundantly out of great Grief and Anguish of Spirit God's look like Lightning terrify'd as Thunder His Voice did roar and broke her Heart in sunder Temptations great a long time she lay under Till Grace that Conquest made which truly was a Wonder Secondly Her Conviction was Operative and very effective to the gracious end God design'd it She was in the Fire in the scorching flaming Fire but God for his Names-sake did defer his Anger yea for his Praise he did refrain for her that he might not cut her off but Behâ—ld he refined her but not with Silver he chose her in the Furnace of Affliction Isa 48.19 The heavy Rod upon her had a Voice laudable and intelligible to some round about her though not at present to her self And it spoke the Language we find V. 17. Thus saith the Lord thy Redeemer the holy one of Israel I am the Lord thy God which teacheth thee to profit which leadeth thee by the way that thou shouldest go Oh! this way of Temptation of Soul tribulation was the way the very way she must go God had so appointed and determined for her and he wonderfully made her to profit in and by this way 'T is true she too often and too much whilst she was in this way spake in the despairing Language of Cain My Punishment is greater than I can bear Gen. 4.13 And as Judas I have sinned Matt. 27.4 And lamentably roaring out with Francis Spira that she was a lost Creature and must perish for ever Yet God secretly upheld her and kept her from sinking to the bottom Though her Pangs and Pains were very violent even beyond what most ever knew yet they were kindly and in the Judgment of the Judicious helping forward the Birth which was last happily effected to the Praise of God her Comfort and the exceeding Joy of all that knew her Ah happy Damsel though thy Pains were great Angels were waiting to whipe off the Sweat Whilst that their Greatness did the Cure compleat Thy wounded Soul was healing in the burning Heat Thirdly Her Conviction was lasting and abiding there was no occasion as to her of that Complaint which God made of Ephraim and of Judah Hos 6.4 5. O Ephraim what shall I do unto thee O Judah what shall I do unto thee for your Goodness is as a morning Cloud and as the early dew it goeth away Therefore have I hewed them by the words of my mouth and thy Judgments are as the light that goeth forth After her first Throws came upon her they never left her till she had passed the New Birth and therefore there was no need of the Prophets hewing No we vvere forced to use and apply all the Comforts and Cordials vve could to support her under her continued and uninterrupted Agonies She never like Lot's Wife gave one look back after her alarming call to come out of the Streets of Sodom Above tvventy Months she remained day and night vvithout Intermission in a very disconsolate and mournful Condition yet in all this time she never went to the Assyrian or sent to King Jareb for help though she saw her Sickness and her Wound vvas very smarting she never sought Comfort by any indirect vvays according to the Inclination of the Flesh But did patiently though vvofully lamenting her self vvith a broken Heart and vvounded Soul abide at the Pool of Bethesda John 5.2 That is attended upon God's Word discourse vvith God's People vvholly sequestring her self from the World and all vain Company till the blessed Angel vvas sent to stir the Waters for her Poor Mourning Dove thy Grief did never cease From Sorrow's Bondage thou hadst no release Till Heaven was pleas'd to speak effectual Peace Oh! then and not before thy tortur'd Soul had ease Fourthly As she was a constant Mourner under Conviction so she was a secret Mourner always bemoaning her self by her self She would not Sit in any
Oh! the Sweet and Soul-charming Doctrine of the Eternal Love of God to poor Sinners did mightily affect her and she melted under it as being overcome therewith This silenc'd all her Objections this resolv'd all her Doubts this expell'd all her Fears so that now she could as ever after she did lye down in Peace and the Enemy no more made her afraid for now she was hid in the hollow of God's hand and even beyond Conception supported in the Joyful Sense of his Everlasting Love Thus she continued a few Weeks in an Holy Humble Frame amazingly Growing yea gloriously Shining in Grace and in the Knowledge of her Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ And then took her Flight into the upper Regions as being one of whom this every-day perishing and decaying World was not worthy We read Gen. 47.29 And the time drew nigh that Israel must dye So now the time drew nigh very nigh that this Heavenly Saint this Celestial Bride every way fitted and prepared by the Efficacy of Grace for the Royal Bridegroom must dye and go into the Arms of her Beloved Jesus Her Sickness if we may call it Sickness was very short and hardly discernable She was at Meeting June the 18th in the Morning I observing her Countenance very pale and missing her in the Afternoon I went on Monday to see her and found her in the Kitchin She complained of an inward Fever and told me she was a great deal worse than her Mother or any about her did imagine I discoursed a while with her labouring to divert her from the Thoughts of her Sickness which I confess I had as low thoughts of as any body else And so for that time was taking my leave of her little thinking it was the last time that ever I should see her but she putting her hand upon mine desired me with a Sigh to go up into her Chamber which I immediately did her Mother and Sister following us as soon as we were sate down she begg'd me to seek the Lord for her She spoke very inward which I have since very often reflected on but then did not mind it After Prayer I earnestly admonish'd her not to give way to Melancholy poring upon her supposed Illness for indeed my very Soul lov'd her and she was beyond what I can express dear to me and so I left her to my unexpressible Grief never Oh! that 's a Cutting vvord never more to behold her in this World I am very sure if I may be thought to have any competent knovvledge of my ovvn Inclination had I knovvn hovv near she had been to her end I should not I could not have stirr'd day or night from her But God vvho knevv my Weakness cast a Vail before my Eyes and by a special though avvful Providence block'd up my vvay so that I could not give her another Visit For thus it vvas The next day I vvas sent for in all haste to a very precious and eminently-Godly dying Sister of our Church about a Mile out of Tovvn vvho before I could get to her though I made all speed imaginable vvas Speechless and almost Breathless vvhich vvas no small Affliction to me so that I had nothing to do but very briefly for she survived not many Moments after I come in to recommend her departing Soul into the Arms of her Redeemer vvhose Arms vvere opened to receive her As soon as I had done she gave up the Ghost and vvas I doubt not carried by the Angels into Abraham's Bosom for she vvas a very Holy Woman I immediately retired home and though I passed by Mrs. Mary Harrison's Door I had not povver to go in my Grief vvas so exceeding great but hastened to my Closet to give some vent to my over-burthened Heart Indeed our poor Church had a great loss in her The next day my Thoughts vvere taken up about the Funeral Sermon I vvas to Preach for that dear deceased Sister In the Evening of that day my very valuable Friend and Brother Mr. Robins call'd to see me as he come from Portsmouth He told me he had been vvith Mrs. Mary Harrison vvhich I vvas extreamly glad of acquainting him vvith the reason I had not seen her neither that day nor the day before I earnestly enquired about her and he told me she was out of order but he apprehended no great danger at least for the present for that she was up and went with him into another Chamber company being in hers to have some private Discourse with him only she vvas something dovvn in her Spirits and seem'd to be a little under a Cloud For she vvas though no-body knevv it near landing and upon the breach of the Shore Mr. Robins and I sate together very late and Purged him to stay vvith me that night but he vvould go to Chichester though it vvas past Nine vvhen he vvent avvay Then I prepared for Bed yet not forgetting dear Mrs. Mary then nor never before neither in my Family nor by my self The next Morning early a Gentleman came to see me and as we were walking in the Hall together my Boy came running in with a frightful look and told me Mrs. Harrison was dead Here I must be silent for 't is in vain to attempt doing that by words which words cannot do And I am sure to set forth the great Surprize and Amazement I was in at this sudden and unexpected News is much beyond the power of any words that ever flow'd out of a Cicero's Mouth Indeed the Confusion I was in was such and so predominant as much unfitted me for that solemn Funeral Work I was a few Hours after to be engaged in But my Gracious God notwithstanding carried me thorough it For I always as then found the most assistance from him when I had the greatest Diversion by intervening Obstacles And thus Sir I have a great while entertain'd you with a very Melancholy Theam I mean the Tragical Passages of this young Gentlewomans Life from the day of her first awakening Yet not without Intermixtures of Comfort and Pleasure in God's at length appearing for her and speaking out of the infinite Riches of his Free Grace Peace unto her after a wearied Conflict with the Tempter after a long passing through the Valley of Bacha and rowling on the Floor of Bochim though chequer'd with many Obumbrations and interposing Clouds But the best Wine was reserv'd to the last Act and Period of her Life for in the very last Hour that great Hour which is the Horizon between Time and Eternity God fully opened her Eyes as he did Hagar's in the Wilderness and made her see a Well of Water even the Water of Everlasting Life And now was she Abundantly satisfied with the Fatness of God's and made to drink of the Rivers of his Pleasure Now a rich Table was spread for her in the presence and in spite of her envious Adversary who had been so long haunting her and vexing her righteous Soul from day