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A36958 Butler's ghost, or, Hudibras with reflections upon these times. D'Urfey, Thomas, 1653-1723.; Butler, Samuel, 1612-1680. Hudibras. 1682 (1682) Wing D2703; ESTC R22762 38,919 202

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Intrigue Conceal'd it self from Common Eyes Had not lewd Belly 'gan to rise And swell above its fellow Parts Infected by venerial Arts For the plump Squire had so kiss't her And the Cassock Merchant so Caress't her That Nature from them both had drawn A Mass of Presbyterian Spawn And between haunches Mountain bigg New moulded a young Moon calf Whigg For which they different hopes did gather And each himself imagin'd father Till they by Arguing did descry They both had fingers in the Pye So have I known in modern Age A wretch to two her self Ingage And leave the man she first carest To be by a second lewdly kist For her sake the whole sex be curst Man's torment and of Ills the worst For never a Saint had sweeter face Serener Look or Modest Grace Or seem'd more Innocent or Civil Angel without within a Devil Yet hold oh pardon me ye few Chast Beauties Innocent and true You that your Constant flames improve To bless the happy Man you love For your sakes I could rage far worse And to my self convert the Curse Did not my sence this truth pursue That y' are so very very few That Phaenix-like in distant clime Scarce more than one 's seen at a time But to proceed The Squire and Priest Being of the Widow both possess 't And knowing Wranglings and Fewd Would to the Matter do no good Resolv'd at last with cunning spite To Top her off upon the Knight And make his grave Fanatick zeal The Balsam wounded Fame to heal No sooner had they baited hook But greedily 't was snap't and took For th' Knight unwary of the Slaughter In Frigot made 'twixt wind and water Resolv'd to run the Marriage Course And take for better and for worse This in due season being declar'd They next most orderly prepar'd The Widow to receive his visit And lend a friendly Ear to his suit Who scarse had time to dress her self To charm the view of amorous Elf But word was brought the Knight was come Unhorst and entring just the room Surpriz'd with news thus unexpected She Pray'r Book snatch't that lay neglected Whose use was not so much for Pocket As to fix Candels in the Socket And with it making swift retreat To Elbow Chair sits down in State Mean while the Knight at Parlour door Bows that his Nose just touch't the floor And with an Air august and grand Most humby begs to kiss her hand Which she permitted with a Grumble That half exprest he was too humble So long he in that posture stood Some thought his Lips had been there glew'd And though no water from his Eyes Did flow to show his hearts surprize Yet some affirm that value truth There fell abundance from his Mouth And Nature there did much prevail Though Love the 'tother did exhale At last awaking from his dream And clearing of his mouth from flegm First making hem and Prologue Cough Thus his Wit 's Blunderbuss went off ' Madam your slave is once more come 'To sound your heart and know his doom ' Whether amongst the blest he 's nam'd ' Or like a Criminal condemn'd ' Let your fair Eyes allow the grace 'To turn their opticks on my Face ' You 'l have I hope no cause t' explode ' My Person Method or my Mode ' I am not now that Hudibras ' That Monarchy once strove to rase ' He that to make a Knave a Lord ' Durst live a Villain on record ' Swear 't was the Brandish't Sword must heal ' The state and call'd Rebellion Zeal ' Nor is my Judgment now so small 'To bow before the Idoll Baal ' Or in that Brutes applause to sing ' That 's ridd and manag'd against the King ' For as Heaven's Fountains when they flow ' Influence the plants and make 'em grow ' By sacred Mystery disperst ' In spouts ore all the universe ' So Loyalty by your great Art ' Spread and diffus'd about my heart ' Makes its dilated Power raign ' O're th' barren Island of my Brain ' 'T is only you could thus succeed ' You teach my Infant zeal to read ' And Capitall Letters of large dint ' Distinguish from Geneva Print ' By you I am regenerate ' Transplanted to a happy state ' And by your face that 's like the Sun ' Or Rather like the Shining Moon ' Your mouth that calms intestine Jarrs ' And Eyes my most propitious Starrs ' Charm'd from a Whigg in heart and soul 'To Tory stanch from foot to Poll ' I now dare Canting Saints rebuke ' Drink Brimmer high to K and D ' Rail and confute their carnall Reason ' That for State Politicks talk Treason ' In fine for you I durst do more ' Than ever for the Cause before ' Such wondrous feats can Beauty do ' When blest with Love and Money too Quoth she I plainly must confess Your alter'd Meen and Sparkish dress Has charm'd me to a kinder fit Than ere your Rhetorick did yet You look as if y' had something in ye Much different from the quondam Ninny That sat with hamper'd foot in th' Stocks Dispersing his insipid Iokes And had not Modesty possest With Scruples my unerring breast And told me she that 's Wedded twice Forfeits her Credit to the Wise There 's something at this time would move My Tongue to tell ye that I Love But Honour sways my doubtfull Mind Honour the Soul of Woman-kind That to us Widows will allow No Dispensation of first Vow But proves that having once known man 'T is Lust not Love Weds us agen Quoth he ' What you call Lust I 'le prove 'To be the darling Child of Love ' And all his best Rewards does merit ' And lawful'st flames do's still inherit ' Nay more if once I go about it ' I 'le prove you can't subsist without it ' He that is warm'd by Hymen's fire ' And yet no spark has of desire ' Is like one sitting at a feast ' That wants ability to tast ' She vilely does abuse the Creature ' And the worst way debauches Nature ' Who still design'd through Earth and Seas ' All things to generate and Increase ' Which cannot be nor never must ' Without the Aid of Generous Lust ' The Flowers and Plants desire the Sun ' Seas Brooks and Rivers court the Moon ' The pert Cock-Sparrow bristles up 'T' enjoy his Miss on houses top ' And to give proof of ardent flame ' Each minute he renews the same 'Till time puts end to eager chace ' Those nere live long that live a-pace ' All Animals to Nature bow ' And consequently I and you ' Must mildly in that station move ' Rankt with all Creatures else that love ' For Reason leaves us in that Case ' When raptur'd Passion storms the place ' And Brutes and Birds that love may be ' As fortunate and blest as we ' Lust is the Spirit of our Youth ' The Salt that seasons Natures Broth ' In which all humane-kind have
shares ' The young and those that are in years ' Nay even in Children every hour ' It gives them cause to know its power ' The Boy of seven just big enough 'To keep his Breeches pissing proof ' Cocks hat and imitates the Men 'To please the tiptoed Girl of Ten ' Whom rudely she away does shove ' Hoping to get a bigger Love ' And what is 't think ye that Inspires ' These hopes in her but green desires ' Lust is the chiefest cause of this ' Though yet she knows not what it is ' Therefore since all it do pursue ' Why should it fail to raign in you ' Being as proper on your score ' As Sursingle or your Bandore ' Or Peak which like a Bill is set 'To show the Shop is to be lett ' Then let not frailty so common ' So pertinent to every Woman ' Make you believe you reason have 'To blast the hopes of your poor slave ' That swears by the Eternal Powers 'To dye or live for ever yours At this with some few Artfull sighs And turning up her whites of Eyes Quoth she Your happy hour at last Is come t' attone for troubles past Nor can that Castle hold out long Where the besiegers are so strong And with such Iudgment too assail'd I 'm yours your merit has prevail'd But on this gentle fair condition That I may use my disposition And that you study still to please Else there will be no Love nor peace This Seal'd and granted on your part Take here my hand with it my heart And person at your will t' enjoy Have hold possess and occupy Who can express the vast delight And eager Raptures of the Knight 'T was such that the Entrancing bliss No tongue can e're relate but his Nor tell his Sentiments of Joy Or Transports of his Extasie In which long-wish't and happy state Full of the Joyes of coming fate Wee 'l leave him for a while to rest And dress us for the Wedding feast Where how his friends and he succeed In the next CANTO you shall read The End of the first Canto HUDIBRAS REVIV'D The Argument of the second CANTO The Character of every Guest The scuffle at the Marriage feast Comment's about a Loyal story And hot dispute 'twixt Whigg and Tory Which th' Knight just going to decide Was fetcht away to guard his Bride By Ralph who happened to trapan her With Stallian in undecent manner CANTO II. NO tongue can e're express the Joyes Nor Pen discribe the Extasies Of him that snares in Hymen's net Rich beauty he despair'd to get Like Criminals from Death repriev'd 'T is with such eagerness receiv'd That the abundance of the Blessing Abates the pleasure of Possessing 'Till Reason by degrees does rule And swelling Passions flag and cool Then airy Transports all remove To solid and substantial Love Oblig'd with this long wish'd-for case Was now Love's Minion Hudibras Who tho at first charm'd with surprize Yet growing every hour more wise No longer would let Passion cloy His Heart but soberly enjoy So needy Libertines whose use Was to be lavish and profuse Falling by chance to Wealth grow dingy Base fordid niggardly and stingy His Tongue no longer Grief exprest His Eyes were dry his Heart at rest His Breath that dim'd with moans the Skies Or coyn'd by Passion into sighs In tuneless Sonnets now was eas'd Or cool'd his Broth or what he pleas'd For now the Priest had shown his skill And each had bow'd and said I will The sacred Words that fast enrolls In th' Marriage-Book Bodies and Souls And every thing in order said To License them to go to Bed But stay the Hour 's not come yet The Guests must have a bit to eat And now in order to 't were come Into a spacious Dining-room Where Herbs were strew'd and Cloth was laid And three old blind Crowdero's play'd But to return to Hudibras He had not been from Church a space So long as one his Name could write But the old Maggot 'gan to bite And buzzing Whimseys warm'd the Addle Part of his disceptious Noddle His Conscience that for Commonweal Had long been Laquey to his Zeal Turns Head and smites him or'e the Face For being in that Tory Dress And each invited Guest swears Zounds Seeing him in those Pantaloons In fine he was by all so hurried And by each factious Bandog worried That he resolv'd to prove new Man And fairly now turn Cat in Pan And every former Protestation Evade by Mental Reservation For Presbyters and Priests are th' same And meerly differ in a Name Tho they of various Matters treat As one to Lye and one to Cheat Yet nightly Friendship they pursue As Lawyers in a Tavern do Who tho one Hour they bawl and jar Another constant Cronies are Possest with Rules which these allow The Knight resolv'd to break his Vow Urg'd to 't by the envited Tribe Whose Characters I thus describe First to the Tables highest place Publicola with humble Grace Approaches he was one whose Foes Had led a long time by the Nose And by a Baud they call'd Ambition Deboach'd into a sad condition Nor did his Fate e're make amends And let him know 'em from his Friends But led him on to disobedience And like them forfeit his Allegiance Who when their Cards were shuffled right Soon left him and plaid least in sight And as I have seen Boys at play Glass Windows break then run away And leave one Impote●t and Lame To bear the beating and the blame So they when mischief was on foot Withdrew and let him stand it out Famous he was for Birth and Race For Courage Person Meen and Face For Horsemanship and skill in Fence And every thing indeed but S For Nature thinking she has done With lavish Hand enough for one In ordering his Person fine And that she need not dress his Mind Unfurnisht Head on Shoulders set And to his Agents shov'led Wit Thus as advent'rous Knights of old Made Squires their Shields and Launces hold With which for Fame they were to fight Or to defend their Ladies Right His Battel Politiques were fought With Weapons that his Faction brought And he the weighty Cause maintains Argues and plots with others Brains His place being fill'd there next him sate A crippled Cobler of the State Deform'd and scarce in height a span Distorted Relique of a Man Yet th' Oracle of the dull Rout Tho plagu'd with Treason Pox and Gout O Miracle of scandalous Age Tho all his Bones at Nature rage Crampt with Diseases and sharp Pain Yet there is health still in his Brain His chattering Tongue does still rebel Altho his Body feel a Hell Near him old Sodom sat whose Fame Is justly suited to his Name His Lewdness claims the first degree And Treasons coyn'd in Italy Makes him with brainless Factions move As lewd and bestial as his Love Whispering with him was a squab thing That always rail'd against the King Yet gave worse