more_o it_o plunge_v itself_o to_o encumbrance_n and_o disease_n how_o easy_a be_v conveniency_n to_o be_v find_v how_o hard_o it_o be_v to_o find_v they_o how_o easy_a it_o seem_v to_o please_v ourselves_o how_o hard_o to_o please_v god_n and_o ourselves_o how_o often_o have_v i_o oppose_v my_o fancy_n and_o affection_n by_o a_o way_n of_o abstinence_n and_o frugality_n which_o yet_o have_v prove_v most_o improsperous_a unto_o i_o how_o often_o have_v i_o by_o god_n grace_n prefer_v he_o before_o all_o worldly_a delight_n and_o yet_o want_v the_o grace_n of_o constancy_n what_o shall_v i_o say_v if_o ever_o man_n play_v a_o long_a heavy_a unhappy_a part_n upon_o the_o stage_n of_o this_o world_n it_o be_v myself_o etc._n etc._n august_n 21._o 1637._o no_o care_n be_v more_o natural_a or_o necessary_a then_o for_o parent_n to_o enter_v their_o young_a one_o into_o a_o proportionable_a fortune_n and_o fair_a course_n to_o be_v able_a to_o live_v in_o the_o world_n the_o direction_n of_o a_o father_n to_o his_o child_n therein_o be_v of_o main_a importance_n i_o be_v leave_v young_a and_o great_o want_v it_o have_v i_o be_v leave_v single_a young_a as_o i_o be_v i_o be_v resolve_v never_o to_o have_v marry_v but_o so_o as_o to_o have_v set_v myself_o at_o ease_n for_o housekeep_v and_o other_o charge_n which_o attend_v it_o according_a to_o my_o quality_n my_o mind_n be_v not_o so_o loose_a but_o that_o i_o can_v have_v contain_v myself_o in_o expense_n for_o till_o i_o be_v lose_v in_o my_o disease_n i_o give_v many_o year_n proof_n thereof_o that_o error_n have_v be_v verify_v upon_o i_o which_o be_v say_v of_o fool_n that_o they_o ever_o begin_v to_o live_v time_n and_o necessity_n the_o great_a rectifier_n of_o our_o course_n have_v make_v i_o see_v my_o fault_n and_o accommodate_v that_o which_o i_o think_v impossible_a august_n 22._o 1637._o miserable_a condition_n of_o my_o fortune_n and_o the_o melancholy_a humour_n how_o one_o while_n for_o a_o evasion_n it_o divert_v itself_o by_o a_o work_a imagination_n how_o there_o may_v be_v a_o better_n other-while_n it_o aggravate_v itself_o upon_o consideration_n how_o incur_v misfortune_n may_v have_v be_v avoid_v both_o fruitless_a and_o perplex_v september_n 26._o 1637._o there_o be_v little_a commiseration_n due_a to_o such_o as_o enter_v upon_o a_o fair_a and_o full_a accommodation_n of_o house_n and_o fortune_n wasteful_o consume_v and_o abuse_v it_o with_o i_o it_o be_v far_o otherwise_o yet_o young_a as_o i_o be_v have_v i_o be_v leave_v with_o money_n in_o my_o hand_n or_o have_v raise_v money_n to_o myself_o by_o what_o i_o have_v i_o be_v not_o so_o loose_v finger_v as_o not_o to_o have_v keep_v or_o employ_v it_o to_o my_o advantage_n i_o be_o confident_a that_o many_o a_o heir_n ruin_v his_o fortune_n who_o do_v he_o enter_v upon_o monies_n as_o well_o as_o land_n will_v thrive_v and_o do_v well_o to_o a_o nature_n not_o foolish_o dissolute_a and_o prodigal_a money_n set_v rather_o a_o edge_n of_o increase_n then_o dissipation_n ignoti_fw-la nulla_fw-la cupido_fw-la it_o be_v a_o rational_a way_n to_o reclaim_v that_o prodigal_a which_o be_v record_v by_o show_v he_o those_o massy_a heap_n that_o be_v to_o go_v to_o discharge_v his_o wasteful_a debt_n the_o eye_n make_v the_o most_o effectual_a impression_n i_o have_v know_v a_o prince_n who_o be_v insensible_a of_o give_v great_a sum_n by_o word_n yet_o be_v tenacious_a of_o what_o once_o come_v into_o his_o hand_n as_o the_o hand_n natural_o so_o money_n political_o be_v the_o instrument_n of_o instrument_n without_o it_o like_o ship_n without_o water_n the_o wise_a and_o most_o active_a can_v make_v little_a use_n of_o themselves_o god_n blessing_n i_o ever_o imply_v for_o without_o that_o the_o builder_n build_v and_o watchman_n watch_v but_o in_o vain_a how_o unhappy_a be_v the_o condition_n of_o a_o unquiet_a mind_n and_o how_o hard_o it_o be_v for_o a_o spirit_n sharp_a sight_v and_o sensible_a to_o inconvenience_n and_o advantage_n to_o maintain_v a_o tranquillity_n amid_o the_o unsound_a and_o humorous_a incident_n of_o this_o life_n so_o little_o be_v the_o reality_n and_o so_o various_a the_o apparition_n of_o humane_a contentment_n fortune_n be_v to_o some_o a_o mother_n to_o other_o a_o stepdame_n some_o she_o humour_n some_o she_o cross_v from_o their_o infancy_n and_o whatsoever_o be_v say_v of_o every_o man_n forgeing_n his_o own_o fortune_n he_o know_v little_a who_o find_v not_o great_a ability_n miscarry_v when_o inferior_a succeed_v we_o make_v not_o ourselves_o nor_o the_o time_n and_o other_o circumstance_n we_o live_v in_o who_o correspondency_n shall_v in_o despite_n of_o we_o import_v we_o good_a mariner_n be_v often_o sink_v at_o sea_n when_o ill_o one_o arrive_v at_o good_a harbour_n for_o i_o i_o acknowledge_v in_o myself_o through_o my_o whole_a course_n many_o error_n yet_o have_v i_o find_v such_o a_o unhappy_a constellation_n of_o fatality_n over-rule_v i_o that_o what_o course_n soever_o i_o have_v take_v i_o can_v hardly_o persuade_v myself_o i_o can_v have_v have_v any_o better_a issue_n moderation_n sobriety_n care_n religion_n itself_o preservative_n to_o other_o have_v be_v to_o my_o fortune_n body_n and_o mind_n flail_n and_o rock_n yet_o all_o conducible_a and_o necessary_a to_o a_o better_a life_n etc._n etc._n i_o thank_v god_n for_o all_o and_o desire_v no_o more_o but_o his_o grace_n in_o grant_v i_o either_o patience_n or_o a_o fair_a deliverance_n from_o this_o world_n misery_n and_o corruption_n i_o have_v long_o hate_v and_o despise_v the_o world_n and_o all_o the_o frail_a vanity_n that_o other_o dote_v upon_o i_o find_v every_o day_n more_o and_o more_o the_o nullity_n the_o wickedness_n of_o its_o pleasure_n etc._n etc._n september_n 27._o 1637._o have_v i_o my_o full_a strength_n and_o clearness_n of_o spirit_n have_v i_o much_o more_o knowledge_n and_o will_v and_o can_v convenient_o bestow_v much_o more_o time_n in_o work_v these_o overflowing_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o brain_n yet_o such_o be_v the_o obscure_a confusion_n of_o this_o sophisticated_a world_n and_o my_o natural_a curiosity_n by_o melancholy_a much_o more_o hard_a to_o please_v that_o i_o shall_v never_o satisfy_v myself_o in_o write_v what_o belong_v to_o this_o or_o any_o other_o subject_a i_o will_v willing_o by_o these_o evaporation_n impart_v with_o ease_n to_o myself_o some_o impression_n to_o my_o friend_n how_o there_o have_v go_v as_o much_o fate_n as_o fault_n to_o effect_v my_o misery_n and_o to_o occasion_v they_o to_o resent_v and_o compassionate_v the_o wretchedness_n of_o humane_a condition_n by_o represent_v myself_o none_o of_o the_o worst-endowed_n with_o part_n of_o body_n mind_n and_o estate_n thrifty_o and_o temperate_o affect_v become_v nevertheless_o most_o tedious_o miserable_a in_o they_o all_o such_o have_v be_v god_n will_n and_o such_o in_o despite_n of_o nature_n and_o reason_n shall_v be_v his_o condition_n who_o accident_n and_o circumstance_n conspire_v to_o afflict_v a_o doctor_n of_o physic_n tell_v i_o long_o since_o that_o i_o have_v too_o much_o mind_n for_o my_o body_n but_o never_o advise_v i_o the_o moderation_n of_o the_o one_o and_o natural_a improvement_n of_o the_o other_o i_o thank_v god_n towards_o he_o who_o be_v the_o chief_a good_a it_o be_v the_o better_a for_o i_o and_o good_a for_o i_o that_o i_o have_v be_v trouble_v i_o confess_v i_o have_v natural_o a_o strong_a active_a and_o sensible_a mind_n yet_o not_o such_o but_o if_o i_o have_v escape_v accidental_a melancholy_n i_o may_v well_o have_v temper_v it_o but_o when_o that_o seize_v upon_o we_o thing_n otherwise_o easy_o to_o be_v pass_v over_o become_v full_a of_o scruple_n and_o perplexity_n my_o world_n over_o use_v of_o treacle_n hot_a and_o dry_a in_o my_o youth_n first_o breed_v the_o alteration_n in_o my_o body_n and_o mind_n i_o know_v not_o what_o i_o ail_v nor_o whence_o it_o proceed_v but_o enforce_o yield_v to_o melancholy_a effect_n such_o as_o retiredness_n over-reading_a and_o over-thinking_a little_a as_o then_o conceive_v how_o the_o body_n shall_v become_v oppress_v by_o so_o abstract_v a_o thing_n as_o the_o mind_n my_o first_o study_n in_o the_o way_n of_o morality_n and_o scepticism_n take_v off_o my_o edge_n from_o worldly_a delight_n god_n good_a spirit_n afterward_o be_v a_o check_n to_o i_o against_o they_o by_o who_o mercy_n i_o be_v never_o free_a from_o perplexity_n till_o of_o late_a i_o will_v by_o his_o grace_n fix_v myself_o upon_o he_o and_o leave_v off_o to_o ruminate_v upon_o much_o more_o to_o enumerate_v my_o infinite_a past_a misgovernment_n and_o misfortune_n god_n be_v praise_v my_o son_n beginning_n be_v as_o well_o if_o not_o better_o than_o ever_o yet_o be_v any_o of_o our_o family_n cross_a tide_n they_o say_v make_v
pleasure_n and_o profit_n whereof_o i_o may_v have_v be_v capable_a but_o for_o myself_o i_o regret_n it_o not_o for_o alas_o how_o vain_a how_o transitory_a how_o full_a of_o vexation_n be_v the_o best_a of_o earthly_a commodity_n etc._n etc._n truth_n have_v be_v say_v to_o be_v the_o object_n of_o the_o understanding_n and_o good_a of_o the_o will_v totus_fw-la teres_fw-la atque_fw-la rotundus_fw-la express_v a_o honest_a man_n yet_o a_o bowl_n perfect_o round_a except_o upon_o a_o ground_n exact_o plain_a hold_v not_o well_o its_o straight_a line_n and_o way_n a_o strong_a bias_n better_o maintain_v itself_o against_o whampe_n and_o unevennesse_n so_o do_v a_o man_n bias_v with_o some_o sinister_a affection_n often_o run_v a_o more_o constant_a and_o thrive_a course_n than_o he_o who_o have_v constitute_v truth_n and_o true_a good_a his_o mistress_n but_o himself_o be_v round_o and_o his_o way_n uncertain_a and_o uneven_a he_o vary_v and_o fluctuate_v according_o as_o i_o have_v often_o say_v truth_n to_o we_o be_v such_o obscure_a high_a twinkle_a star_n that_o we_o hardly_o fasten_v upon_o they_o what_o please_v we_o be_v only_o certain_a unto_o we_o i_o speak_v in_o a_o natural_a way_n for_o supernatural_o in_o faith_n alone_o be_v all_o truth_n all_o good_a certainty_n and_o pleasure_n till_o god_n give_v i_o that_o happy_a gift_n i_o be_v a_o bowl_n without_o bias_n a_o ship_n without_o steer_n or_o star_n i_o be_v more_o than_o most_o miserable_a if_o my_o resentment_n my_o heart_n and_o affection_n be_v set_v upon_o this_o world_n but_o i_o humble_o thank_v god_n it_o be_v far_o otherwise_o with_o i_o and_o now_o as_o there_o ever_o have_v be_v a_o difference_n make_v between_o such_o as_o cast_v themselves_o into_o open_a and_o eminent_a mischief_n and_o such_o as_o fall_v into_o unhappy_a consequence_n of_o evil_n unforeseen_a so_o hope_v i_o to_o find_v favour_n i_o and_o pardon_n from_o the_o better_a sort_n and_o the_o worst_a i_o respect_v not_o and_o as_o that_o prince_n who_o plain_a in_o personage_n and_o habit_n be_v by_o mistake_v set_v to_o drudge_n for_o his_o own_o entertainment_n and_o be_v discover_v and_o demand_v what_o he_o mean_v answer_v that_o he_o do_v penance_n for_o his_o evil-favourednesse_a so_o be_o i_o content_v to_o undergo_v and_o submit_v myself_o to_o the_o not_o undeserved_a penance_n of_o my_o fate_n with_o a_o acquiescence_n of_o fiat_n voluntas_fw-la tua_fw-la sed_fw-la libre_fw-la a_o nos_fw-la a_o malo_fw-la january_n 2._o 1637._o nemo_fw-la laeditur_fw-la nisi_fw-la a_o seipso_fw-la never_o prove_v itself_o more_o true_a then_o in_o i_o i_o have_v be_v both_o agent_n and_o author_n of_o my_o misery_n and_o suffering_n i_o have_v be_v both_o criminal_a and_o tormenter_n god_n make_v i_o strong_a i_o have_v make_v myself_o weak_a god_n entrust_v i_o with_o many_o talent_n of_o advantage_n above_o other_o i_o have_v misemployed_n and_o abuse_v they_o and_o myself_o from_o my_o youth_n i_o have_v suffer_v his_o scourge_n and_o terror_n with_o a_o trouble_a soul_n yet_o such_o be_v his_o mercy_n unto_o i_o that_o it_o be_v good_a and_o happy_a for_o i_o that_o i_o have_v be_v trouble_v as_o i_o have_v turn_v unto_o he_o he_o have_v be_v gracious_o please_v to_o turn_v his_o countenance_n of_o favour_n towards_o i_o heal_v my_o wound_n with_o the_o sovereign_a balm_n of_o his_o grace_n and_o refresh_v my_o soul_n with_o his_o water_n of_o life_n humble_v i_o to_o exalt_v i_o and_o chastise_v i_o in_o a_o fatherly_a correction_n to_o prevent_v my_o eternal_a punishment_n how_o sweet_a oh_o lord_n be_v thy_o mercy_n beyond_o comparison_n beyond_o my_o expression_n the_o false_a and_o flatter_a joy_n of_o sensuality_n be_v mere_a sourness_n bitterness_n and_o vexation_n in_o respect_n continue_v thy_o grace_n unto_o i_o perfect_a thy_o own_o work_n and_o make_v i_o a_o instrument_n of_o thy_o glory_n confirm_v i_o in_o the_o contempt_n of_o this_o world_n vanity_n and_o as_o on_o i_o so_o work_v upon_o the_o world_n by_o thy_o almighty_a spirit_n thy_o save_a health_n that_o thy_o will_n may_v be_v do_v in_o earth_n as_o in_o heaven_n nothing_o but_o thy_o all-powerfull_a spirit_n can_v effect_v it_o draw_v we_o and_o we_o shall_v come_v and_o let_v it_o be_v through_o tribulation_n sorrow_n fire_n and_o whatsoever_o long_a or_o short_a a_o fair_a or_o rugged_a way_n so_o it_o lead_v to_o thou_o we_o shall_v be_v happy_a above_o measure_n amen_o amen_n sweet_a saviour_n let_v thy_o precious_a wound_n cure_v i_o and_o save_v my_o soul_n which_o be_v by_o purchase_v thou_o january_n 15._o 1637._o beauty_n and_o the_o delight_n of_o the_o eye_n consist_v in_o well-ordered_a lustre_n of_o colour_n proportion_n and_o motion_n yet_o forbear_v it_o not_o to_o be_v extraordinary_o affect_v in_o the_o enjoy_n of_o such_o object_n as_o the_o appetite_n and_o fantasy_n have_v prescribe_v to_o themselves_o for_o a_o necessary_a or_o voluptuous_a satisfaction_n whereby_o appear_v that_o we_o become_v most_o ravish_v and_o transport_v by_o the_o operation_n and_o co-operation_n of_o the_o mind_n who_o true_a and_o noble_a object_n be_v virtue_n and_o goodness_n hence_o spring_v the_o conceit_n that_o if_o virtue_n be_v visible_a it_o will_v beget_v in_o we_o most_o transcendent_a affection_n so_o beautiful_a so_o amiable_a it_o will_v be_v to_o a_o generous_a soul_n god_n be_v the_o author_n and_o prototype_n of_o all_o beauty_n and_o goodness_n how_o infinite_o then_o beyond_o comparison_n sweet_a fair_a and_o lovely_a must_v he_o be_v to_o such_o as_o apprehend_v and_o contemplate_v his_o glory_n and_o to_o who_o he_o impart_v himself_o and_o his_o mercy_n as_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o body_n of_o the_o sun_n so_o fill_v the_o sense_n that_o for_o the_o present_a it_o can_v admit_v no_o other_o conceit_n so_o do_v the_o glorious_a speculation_n of_o god_n essence_n and_o majesty_n annihilate_v and_o expel_v all_o earthly_a affection_n how_o vain_a how_o most_o poor_a and_o bestial_a be_v vulgar_a delight_n in_o respect_n of_o that_o tincture_n that_o rapture_n and_o eternity_n of_o bliss_n which_o flow_v from_o his_o divine_a grace_n and_o knowledge_n how_o be_v it_o possible_a after_o such_o influence_n to_o relish_v the_o drossy_a pleasure_n of_o the_o world_n for_o the_o most_o part_n common_a with_o beast_n fleet_a molest_a lame_a miserable_a be_v the_o heart_n which_o he_o do_v not_o season_n disconsolate_a the_o comfort_n which_o proceed_v not_o from_o his_o grace_n who_o without_o that_o can_v live_v content_v can_v be_v content_a to_o be_v one_o of_o circe_n beast_n and_o live_v and_o die_v in_o a_o drunken_a fit_n i_o most_o humble_o thank_v thou_o my_o gracious_a god_n and_o saviour_n that_o thou_o have_v vouchsafe_v to_o open_v my_o eye_n to_o thy_o glory_n and_o the_o world_n vanity_n till_o than_o i_o never_o find_v solid_a or_o permanent_a comfort_n i_o have_v like_o other_o be_v apt_a to_o conceive_v that_o this_o world_n delight_n be_v our_o proper_a portion_n of_o thy_o assignment_n but_o thy_o great_a grace_n have_v enlighten_v i_o and_o with_o a_o strong_a hand_n teach_v i_o to_o choose_v the_o better_a part_n i_o have_v since_o thy_o illumination_n affect_v above_o all_o thing_n to_o set_v forth_o thy_o grace_n mercy_n and_o glory_n but_o pardon_v i_o oh_o lord_n they_o surpass_v my_o poor_a ability_n i_o be_o a_o earthen_a vessel_n weak_a and_o craze_a as_o unable_a as_o unworthy_a to_o be_v a_o fit_a instrument_n to_o sound_v forth_o thy_o praise_n i_o be_v ambitious_a to_o have_v wrought_v thy_o divine_a love_n upon_o other_o that_o they_o with_o i_o may_v constitute_v thou_o the_o sole_a scope_n and_o lord_n of_o their_o counsel_n their_o project_n their_o action_n but_o a_o full_a and_o rich_a magazine_n than_o i_o and_o a_o strong_a health_n be_v require_v pardon_v oh_o lord_n that_o i_o withdraw_v myself_o conscious_a of_o my_o weakness_n and_o inability_n but_o what_o my_o pen_n can_v attain_v my_o tongue_n and_o action_n shall_v by_o thy_o grace_n endeavour_v to_o supply_v january_n 14._o 1637._o charity_n imply_v the_o love_n of_o god_n and_o man_n without_o it_o whatsoever_o we_o pretend_v we_o be_v infidel_n object_n of_o hatred_n to_o our_o maker_n to_o our_o inferior_n what_o condition_n can_v be_v more_o contemptible_a no_o delight_n be_v comparable_a to_o that_o which_o reflect_v upon_o a_o good_a mind_n from_o its_o own_o goodness_n extend_v upon_o other_o especial_o when_o our_o conscience_n bear_v we_o witness_v that_o we_o do_v it_o out_o of_o a_o true_a love_n and_o obedience_n to_o our_o most_o merciful_a and_o omnipotent_a god_n to_o pretend_v faith_n and_o be_v without_o charity_n be_v to_o mock_v god_n and_o ourselves_o better_o be_v it_o for_o we_o to_o be_v like_o beast_n without_o all_o knowledge_n of_o god_n then_o to_o play_v
your_o bound_n place_n force_v no_o man_n they_o have_v their_o several_a advantage_n and_o disadvantage_n like_o other_o thing_n and_o be_v to_o be_v embrace_v as_o discretion_n and_o affection_n shall_v lead_v certain_o the_o travail_a course_n use_v of_o late_a especial_o in_o the_o most_o spiritual_a and_o academical_a mind_n breed_v a_o great_a partiality_n to_o the_o equal_a conversation_n of_o town_n but_o not_o without_o danger_n of_o be_v alien_v from_o the_o knowledge_n of_o your_o own_o and_o as_o much_o abuse_v therein_o by_o other_o as_o of_o abuse_v yourself_o in_o be_v carry_v away_o with_o the_o city_n vanity_n and_o unfruitful_a idleness_n the_o country_n life_n be_v assure_o most_o natural_a pleasant_a settle_a and_o profitable_a to_o the_o english_a breed_n and_o course_n do_v but_o you_o care_v for_o yourself_o as_o i_o have_v care_v for_o you_o and_o all_o shall_v with_o god_n blessing_n go_v well_o with_o your_o mind_n and_o well_o with_o your_o fortune_n seek_v your_o happiness_n from_o god_n grace_n and_o bounty_n he_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o give_v it_o you_o make_v christ_n your_o rock_n and_o you_o have_v a_o sure_a foundation_n december_n 19_o 1637._o quos_fw-la perdere_fw-la vult_fw-la jupiter_n hos_fw-la dementat_fw-la be_v a_o true_a say_n apply_v to_o a_o false_a god_n but_o my_o god_n have_v often_o deprive_v i_o in_o some_o particular_n of_o the_o use_n of_o my_o ordinary_a reason_n and_o discourse_n to_o act_v thing_n against_o my_o knowledge_n my_o end_n my_o resolution_n and_o myself_o he_o have_v raise_v oftentimes_o strange_a and_o independent_a combine_v constellation_n against_o i_o i_o have_v evident_o discover_v his_o footstep_n therein_o and_o he_o have_v thereby_o lead_v i_o to_o my_o salvation_n there_o be_v no_o redemption_n to_o mankind_n but_o in_o christ_n nor_o can_v the_o wound_a and_o trouble_a soul_n find_v any_o other_o sanctuary_n he_o alone_o be_v the_o horn_n of_o our_o salvation_n the_o cornueopia_n of_o a_o perfect_a plenty_n and_o felicity_n unto_o we_o in_o this_o and_o the_o eternal_a life_n i_o have_v be_v master_n of_o a_o dog_n who_o when_o i_o have_v threaten_v in_o stead_n of_o fly_v he_o have_v appease_v i_o by_o a_o submiss_a fawn_a upon_o i_o thou_o my_o god_n be_v in_o like_a manner_n merciful_a to_o such_o as_o seek_v thou_o and_o humble_v themselves_o unto_o thou_o praise_v to_o thy_o bless_a name_n for_o evermore_o amen_o amen_n january_n 21._o 1637._o our_o faith_n be_v well_o allude_v to_o a_o rock_n and_o our_o saviour_n to_o the_o cornerstone_n of_o a_o building_n for_o without_o they_o we_o be_v all_o totter_a and_o infirm_a nor_o do_v the_o sweetness_n of_o any_o earthly_a pleasure_n make_v amends_o for_o a_o unstable_a wander_a mind_n good_a god_n why_o do_v thou_o not_o to_o frailty_n give_v one_o life_n to_o learn_v another_o life_n to_o live_v why_o so_o it_o be_v who_o here_o do_v thou_o regard_n eternal_a life_n and_o joy_n be_v his_o reward_n suave_fw-la mari_fw-fr magno_fw-la turbantibus_fw-la aequora_fw-la ventis_fw-la eterra_fw-la alterius_fw-la magnum_fw-la spectare_fw-la laborem_fw-la unexpressible_a be_v that_o tranquillity_n ease_n joy_n and_o peace_n which_o i_o find_v by_o have_v free_v myself_o from_o this_o world_n common_a interest_n and_o encumbrance_n my_o soul_n be_v like_o a_o bird_n escape_v from_o the_o fowler_n net_n and_o i_o be_o as_o a_o free_a spectator_n behold_v the_o busy_a burden_a actor_n of_o this_o world_n tragedy_n comedy_n farcies_o and_o folly_n good_a lord_n confirm_v i_o more_o and_o more_o and_o make_v i_o thankful_a in_o such_o my_o joy_n once_o belong_v to_o the_o alphabet_n sonnet_n of_o the_o letter_n e._n but_o we_o like_o false-bred_n eagle_n fly_v the_o sight_n of_o thy_o to_o humane_a sense_n confound_v light_n bartas_n and_o herbert_n lead_v but_o fly_v so_o high_a our_o flowery_a waxen_a wing_n dare_v not_o come_v nigh_o or_o it_o be_v hard_a to_o see_v they_o hard_o to_o come_v nigh_o 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his_o guide_n he_o leave_v all_o favour_n ill_a will_n and_o partiality_n at_o the_o entrance_n and_o consider_v the_o good_a of_o the_o king_n combine_v with_o that_o of_o his_o people_n he_o fear_v nothing_o so_o much_o as_o to_o wound_v his_o conscience_n or_o to_o betray_v the_o truth_n which_o above_o all_o thing_n he_o ought_v to_o reverence_n soul._n popular_a and_o courtly_a applause_n be_v the_o least_o of_o his_o aim_n he_o be_v not_o so_o well_o please_v with_o any_o thing_n as_o to_o see_v right_a end_n propose_v and_o right_a way_n observe_v towards_o they_o which_o so_o they_o prevail_v he_o will_v glad_o sit_v in_o perpetual_a silence_n but_o rather_o than_o matter_n be_v carry_v against_o his_o conscience_n he_o will_v discharge_v it_o with_o whatsoever_o consequence_n his_o affection_n be_v to_o maintain_v all_o thing_n fair_a and_o even_o in_o the_o church_n and_o state_n as_o he_o find_v they_o due_o constitute_v know_v that_o all_o innovation_n be_v dangerous_a 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and_o to_o season_v himself_o with_o their_o fashion_n as_o that_o thereby_o he_o may_v avoid_v in_o the_o least_o sort_n to_o become_v ridiculous_a especial_o prima_fw-la fancy_n as_o for_o those_o inward_a seasoning_n which_o be_v to_o this_o as_o the_o substance_n to_o the_o colour_n he_o will_v omit_v no_o occasion_n to_o give_v proof_n thereof_o as_o fear_v to_o belie_v his_o parentage_n and_o title_n and_o to_o prove_v himself_o a_o wolf_n and_o vermin_n in_o the_o eye_n of_o good_a man_n who_o ought_v to_o have_v double_v his_o lustre_n by_o worth_n and_o goodness_n he_o will_v therefore_o be_v a_o strict_a examiner_n of_o himself_o and_o least_o indulgent_a to_o his_o own_o error_n he_o will_v make_v truth_n his_o guide_n for_o lie_n be_v but_o the_o bolt_n of_o fool_n that_o fall_v on_o their_o own_o head_n and_o moderation_n his_o governor_n for_o it_o be_v the_o basis_n of_o all_o virtue_n he_o will_v avoid_v occasion_n of_o expense_n and_o quarrel_n but_o be_v engage_v to_o they_o he_o will_v carry_v himself_o noble_o and_o come_v off_o with_o honour_n for_o to_o be_v cast_v behind_o hand_n in_o fame_n or_o fortune_n be_v much_o more_o difficult_a to_o recover_v then_o to_o prevent_v his_o gift_n shall_v be_v according_a to_o reason_n not_o in_o excess_n yet_o incline_v rather_o to_o the_o most_o for_o else_o they_o lose_v their_o good_a acceptance_n but_o be_v excessive_a he_o lose_v his_o thanks_o as_o seem_v to_o give_v what_o he_o esteem_v not_o and_o taint_v his_o judgement_n in_o not_o understand_v proportion_n when_o he_o fall_v to_o game_n let_v he_o not_o think_v it_o only_o a_o idle_a pastime_n for_o to_o a_o good_a observer_n it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o most_o perspicuous_a discoverer_n of_o our_o inward_a disposition_n and_o affection_n he_o will_v mingle_v pleasure_n with_o profit_n but_o will_v make_v recreation_n his_o servant_n not_o his_o master_n honour_n and_o virtue_n shall_v be_v his_o chief_a aim_n nor_o will_v he_o draw_v a_o note_n upon_o himself_o for_o any_o thing_n but_o tend_v thereunto_o he_o will_v by_o his_o courtesy_n make_v continual_a purchase_n of_o affection_n but_o especial_o in_o his_o own_o house_n where_o he_o can_v hardly_o overact_v it_o yet_o towards_o man_n of_o insolent_a demand_n and_o carriage_n it_o be_v but_o unmannerly_a to_o employ_v it_o civility_n be_v a_o important_a piece_n of_o society_n especial_o among_o the_o better_a sort_n and_o like_o other_o quality_n it_o be_v to_o be_v exercise_v with_o great_a discretion_n and_o good_a temper_n high_a and_o brave_a spirit_n unseasoned_a therewith_o will_v like_o cock_n and_o mastiff_n impatient_a of_o the_o fierceness_n of_o one_o another_o eye_n uncollected_a and_o unrecal_v assault_v each_o other_o with_o blow_n instead_o of_o salute_v there_o have_v be_v divers_a book_n write_v of_o the_o institution_n of_o a_o prince_n of_o a_o courtier_n of_o several_a
the_o irish_a sea_n so_o troublesome_a and_o dangerous_a there_o be_v a_o proportion_n of_o bear_v beyond_o which_o we_o sink_v i_o be_v in_o my_o prime_a youth_n encounter_v with_o many_o unfavourable_a dysaster_n etc._n etc._n the_o great_a change_n of_o the_o court_n and_o long_a greatness_n of_o they_o who_o accident_n etc._n etc._n my_o other_o absence_n in_o travail_n hinder_v my_o fall_n in_o with_o those_o time_n my_o retiredness_n by_o that_o course_n and_o over-exact_a study_n of_o language_n which_o certain_o be_v proper_a only_a to_o child_n to_o who_o it_o come_v insensible_o and_o be_v most_o troublesome_a to_o curious_a spirit_n these_o and_o much_o more_o conspire_v against_o i_o i_o will_v when_o my_o fortune_n be_v whole_a have_v match_v my_o son_n then_o very_o young_a and_o have_v assure_v my_o land_n upon_o he_o for_o a_o reasonable_a portion_n it_o can_v not_o be_v my_o predecessor_n after_o a_o long_a and_o desperate_a sickness_n live_v just_a enough_o to_o marry_v i_o and_o many_o strange_a thing_n than_o these_o have_v befall_v i_o in_o the_o article_n of_o a_o catastrophe_n to_o my_o fortune_n november_n 2._o 1637._o to_o say_v something_o still_o of_o diverse_a ambiguity_n and_o perplexity_n incident_a to_o my_o condition_n and_o fortune_n which_o beside_o the_o accidental_a melancholy_n breed_v in_o my_o body_n can_v hardly_o sail_v to_o work_v a_o alteration_n and_o disease_n upon_o a_o mind_n curious_a of_o avoid_v inconvenience_n and_o choose_v the_o best_a my_o nature_n be_v bend_v to_o ordinary_a pleasure_n yet_o moral_o withdraw_v to_o a_o observation_n of_o decency_n virtue_n moderation_n and_o improvement_n of_o knowledge_n with_o a_o acquisite_a affectation_n of_o philosophical_a moral_a civil_a and_o christian_a perfection_n wherein_o as_o well_o for_o vogue_n fashion_n and_o reputation_n as_o truth_n i_o can_v not_o willing_o consent_v to_o come_v short_a of_o the_o best_a when_o i_o grow_v towards_o manhood_n be_v of_o myself_o dispose_v to_o forbear_v marriage_n until_o i_o shall_v be_v thirty_o year_n old_a and_o then_o not_o to_o marry_v without_o great_a choice_n in_o fit_v myself_o and_o obtain_v a_o fullness_n of_o fortune_n to_o set_v myself_o at_o ease_n in_o my_o quality_n and_o that_o estate_n â—&c_n â—&c_n â—&c_n i_o see_v the_o inconvenience_n but_o wife_n child_n and_o my_o disease_n make_v i_o unfit_a for_o another_o man_n house_n and_o though_o i_o wish_v yet_o i_o can_v not_o resolve_v a_o change_n which_o to_o i_o who_o can_v never_o easy_o admit_v a_o resolution_n with_o inconvenience_n attend_v it_o be_v ever_o abhorrent_n my_o natural_a curiosity_n who_o mind_n be_v never_o quiet_a till_o all_o circumstance_n and_o conveniency_n be_v run_v over_o and_o over_o and_o accommodate_v by_o i_o make_v all_o thing_n especial_o in_o a_o seat_n of_o my_o own_o most_o troublesome_a to_o the_o melancholy_a taint_a spirit_n nothing_o be_v more_o unfit_a than_o idleness_n nothing_o more_o troublesome_a than_o its_o curious_a discourse_v upon_o resolution_n nothing_o more_o unfit_a than_o confinement_n to_o one_o place_n yet_o nothing_o more_o hard_a then_o to_o resolve_v and_o digest_v change_n and_o alteration_n once_o marry_v i_o be_v set_v to_o seek_v how_o to_o live_v where_o to_o live_v my_o birth_n and_o breed_n be_v in_o the_o city_n my_o affection_n and_o chief_a seat_n in_o cambridgeshire_n but_o many_o strong_a consideration_n divert_v i_o from_o it_o the_o court_n where_o i_o be_v young_a enter_v follow_v may_v have_v keep_v i_o from_o that_o depth_n of_o melancholy_n whereunto_o travail_n study_n and_o retiredness_n in_o care_n and_o fancy_n of_o what_o belong_v to_o a_o house_n drown_v i_o but_o that_o also_o by_o accident_n be_v unfit_a for_o i_o yet_o at_o length_n for_o a_o strong_a diversion_n and_o under_o so_o brave_a a_o patronage_n as_o that_o of_o prince_n henry_n i_o readventure_v upon_o it_o but_o his_o immature_n death_n and_o much_o sickness_n of_o my_o own_o follow_v upon_o it_o with_o other_o disproportion_n final_o alien_v i_o from_o that_o course_n thus_o and_o much_o more_o have_v my_o life_n be_v a_o conflict_n with_o disease_n and_o fortune_n i_o have_v former_o touch_v many_o more_o particular_n yet_o not_o all_o nor_o the_o worst_a it_o be_v one_o of_o the_o great_a in_o satisfaction_n of_o writing_n to_o a_o ingenuous_a spirit_n in_o most_o important_a matter_n to_o have_v least_o freedom_n there_o be_v many_o noli_fw-la i_o tangere's_fw-fr the_o contrast_n of_o god_n grace_n and_o religion_n against_o the_o impetuosity_n of_o natural_a affection_n have_v be_v many_o year_n my_o great_a combat_n i_o have_v fight_v resolute_o but_o receive_v many_o foil_n yet_o by_o the_o infinite_a goodness_n of_o my_o saviour_n i_o have_v receive_v such_o most_o unexpected_a succour_n that_o to_o my_o unvaluable_a comfort_n i_o triumph_v etc._n etc._n i_o have_v dedicate_v myself_o next_o to_o god_n whole_o to_o my_o son_n and_o have_v many_o year_n endeavour_v his_o good_a beyond_o my_o own_o i_o have_v now_o make_v myself_o his_o pensioner_n and_o i_o wish_v no_o worldly_a happiness_n more_o than_o his_o prosperity_n thus_o with_o a_o run_a pen_n i_o ease_v my_o mind_n which_o though_o with_o no_o serious_a exactness_n yet_o with_o little_a prejudice_n to_o my_o health_n for_o otherwise_o the_o strength_n of_o my_o disease_n will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o bear_v the_o strength_n and_o curiosity_n of_o my_o own_o discourse_n he_o who_o be_v subject_a to_o melancholy_n let_v he_o shun_v as_o a_o rock_n at_o sea_n over-studying_a or_o tire_v of_o his_o thought_n and_o when_o he_o find_v conclusion_n come_v not_o off_o clear_o and_o that_o a_o restinesse_n of_o discourse_n grow_v upon_o he_o let_v he_o give_v over_o for_o the_o present_a not_o admit_v the_o least_o tumultuation_n till_o such_o a_o good_a and_o fit_a time_n after_o as_o he_o may_v return_v new_a and_o fresh_a to_o work_v by_o this_o mean_n shall_v he_o avoid_v much_o hurt_n of_o his_o spirit_n and_o attain_v better_o to_o his_o end_n in_o read_v also_o little_a and_o little_a at_o once_o shall_v dispatch_v more_o and_o that_o without_o inconvenience_n of_o health_n then_o much_o together_o to_o the_o oppression_n of_o the_o soul_n ne_fw-la quid_fw-la nimis_fw-la in_o all_o thing_n be_v a_o excellent_a instruction_n how_o many_o a_o man_n have_v tire_v his_o horse_n by_o ride_v a_o little_a too_o fast_o who_o may_v otherwise_o have_v come_v well_o to_o his_o journey_n end_n the_o like_a be_v see_v in_o expense_n a_o very_a little_a contract_n will_v often_o have_v give_v ease_n and_o thirst_n where_o a_o very_a small_a overspending_a have_v breed_v continual_a want_n and_o ruin_n by_o my_o miserable_a experience_n i_o can_v give_v many_o rule_n upon_o this_o world_n course_n and_o melancholy_a moderation_n be_v good_a but_o god_n grace_n be_v above_o all_o and_o without_o it_o nothing_o can_v prosper_v how_o lusty_o do_v the_o root_n feed_v a_o tree_n who_o branch_n be_v few_o and_o small_a in_o respect_n to_o the_o all-seeing_a god_n be_v glory_n for_o with_o we_o but_o through_o he_o dwell_v nothing_o but_o darkness_n error_n frailty_n and_o ignorance_n november_n 4._o 1637._o my_o gracious_a god_n the_o support_n and_o guide_v of_o we_o and_o all_o our_o action_n since_o thou_o have_v vouch_v save_v to_o grant_v i_o a_o firm_a and_o happy_a faith_n in_o christ_n and_o love_n of_o thou_o with_o a_o contempt_n of_o all_o earthly_a and_o carnal_a joy_n confirm_v unto_o i_o i_o most_o humble_o beseech_v thou_o thy_o heavenly_a grace_n and_o the_o comfort_n of_o thy_o good_a spirit_n for_o i_o abhor_v myself_o whensoever_o that_o joy_n fail_v i_o or_o any_o worldly_a affection_n assault_v i_o none_o more_o than_o i_o know_v their_o vanity_n their_o unsoundnesse_n their_o emptiness_n of_o all_o true_a and_o perfect_a satisfaction_n such_o as_o leave_v i_o ever_o to_o seek_v ever_o unquiet_a till_o such_o time_n as_o i_o whole_o resign_v myself_o unto_o thou_o the_o world_n be_v a_o wilderness_n of_o ravenous_a beast_n there_o be_v no_o path_n no_o safety_n no_o contentment_n or_o protection_n but_o through_o thy_o favour_n sweet_a lord_n impart_v it_o unto_o i_o and_o i_o shall_v find_v that_o quiet_a and_o joy_n of_o heart_n which_o i_o have_v ever_o want_v help_v i_o for_o i_o shall_v hate_v myself_o if_o through_o the_o infirmity_n of_o my_o flesh_n and_o blood_n i_o reap_v not_o more_o joy_n and_o complacence_n in_o my_o surrender_n to_o thou_o and_o in_o thy_o grace_n than_o ever_o i_o do_v or_o can_v find_v in_o the_o most_o full_a and_o flatter_a pleasure_n which_o this_o instable_a world_n afford_v i_o have_v often_o find_v thy_o most_o merciful_a and_o miraculous_a relief_n and_o support_n beyond_o expectation_n beyond_o natural_a conceit_n let_v thy_o mercy_n and_o grace_n continue_v with_o i_o to_o my_o end_n and_o
and_o felicity_n and_o nothing_o but_o the_o perfect_a joy_n of_o heaven_n can_v satisfy_v the_o perfection_n and_o summum_fw-la bonum_fw-la affect_v soul_n when_o we_o have_v say_v and_o do_v what_o we_o can_v we_o be_v in_o such_o a_o mist_n and_o confusion_n of_o thing_n so_o short_a sight_v through_o our_o false_a perspective_n that_o there_o be_v much_o chance_n in_o discern_v the_o truth_n and_o right_a way_n even_o of_o thing_n within_o our_o reach_n and_o capacity_n in_o despite_n of_o all_o our_o search_n and_o circumspection_n god_n be_v all_o in_o all_o without_o he_o see_v we_o shall_v not_o see_v and_o understanding_n we_o shall_v not_o understand_v who_o refer_v to_o nature_n and_o our_o natural_a universality_n of_o faculty_n and_o not_o to_o his_o extraordinary_a influence_n be_v blind_a to_o his_o grace_n and_o operation_n by_o he_o we_o live_v move_v and_o have_v our_o be_v and_o no_o thing_n or_o faculty_n work_n but_o through_o his_o grace_n and_o providence_n fantasy_n in_o we_o be_v like_o the_o sail_n of_o a_o ship_n without_o it_o we_o want_v much_o of_o ornament_n and_o motion_n with_o a_o predominancy_n of_o it_o we_o be_v in_o danger_n of_o over-setting_a without_o it_o many_o thing_n otherwise_o delightful_a be_v dull_a and_o insipid_a and_o if_o it_o be_v over_o pregnant_a it_o ordinary_o ruin_n and_o befool_v we_o it_o be_v our_o soul_n perspective_n multiply_v object_n at_o one_o end_n and_o lessen_v they_o at_o the_o other_o it_o be_v a_o better_a servant_n than_o master_n happy_a they_o who_o steer_v and_o ballast_n can_v rule_v and_o command_v it_o it_o be_v a_o horse_n that_o must_v be_v bear_v with_o a_o hard_a hand_n if_o it_o get_v head_n it_o transport_v we_o to_o much_o inconvenience_n and_o hardly_o contain_v itself_o within_o any_o limit_n of_o judgement_n and_o reason_n all_o thing_n take_v their_o tincture_n from_o it_o it_o be_v to_o be_v less_o than_o man_n to_o want_v it_o and_o more_o to_o bridle_v and_o over-rule_v it_o god_n alone_o can_v temper_v and_o moderate_v our_o inordinate_a fancy_n they_o and_o affection_n he_o alone_o be_v commensurable_a to_o our_o vast_a desire_n moderation_n have_v ever_o be_v a_o hard_a virtue_n the_o most_o conscientious_a spirit_n have_v ever_o be_v subject_n to_o superstition_n and_o idolatry_n strength_n of_o fantasy_n be_v apt_a to_o multiply_v itself_o beyond_o measure_n irreligious_a heart_n cut_v the_o gordian_a knot_n which_o they_o can_v untie_v to_o distinguish_v betwixt_o god_n and_o man_n must_v be_v from_o god_n and_o not_o from_o man_n man_n may_v endeavour_v and_o concur_v but_o god_n alone_o can_v clear_v and_o confirm_v my_o good_a god_n i_o will_v with_o thy_o good_a grace_n let_v my_o heart_n loose_v to_o no_o other_o object_n than_o thyself_o and_o what_o be_v please_v unto_o thou_o so_o shall_v i_o have_v fullness_n of_o joy_n nor_o shall_v i_o regret_n or_o envy_v the_o most_o splendid_a employment_n or_o fantastical_a delight_n where_o with_o this_o world_n siren-like_a enchant_v the_o mind_n of_o such_o as_o dote_v upon_o it_o smile_v thou_o upon_o i_o and_o let_v the_o world_n frown_n or_o scorn_n the_o world_n kiss_n be_v poison_n the_o embrace_n confusion_n they_o carry_v their_o sting_n with_o they_o but_o thy_o favour_n be_v present_a and_o eternal_a felicity_n if_o the_o very_a enjoy_n of_o our_o fancy_n and_o feed_v they_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o surfeit_n and_o oppression_n what_o be_v it_o to_o fail_v be_v cross_v and_o miscarry_v in_o they_o little_a sail_n and_o little_a fancy_n make_v the_o best_a and_o safe_a voyage_n to_o conclude_v these_o shred_n and_o ejaculation_n which_o may_v weary_v but_o never_o satisfy_v either_o myself_o or_o any_o other_o for_o there_o be_v evermore_o and_o better_a to_o be_v say_v our_o artificial_a infirm_a and_o perplex_a condition_n be_v to_o a_o curious_a strong_a mind_n a_o natural_a and_o strong_a distraction_n a_o large_a and_o various_a prospect_n work_v upon_o and_o divide_v the_o fancy_n and_o with_o a_o divulsion_n breed_v a_o kind_n of_o convulsion_n in_o the_o spirit_n and_o a_o solution_n of_o that_o sweet_a continuity_n and_o harmony_n which_o god_n have_v ordain_v natural_a unto_o we_o original_a and_o actual_a sin_n inhabit_v in_o we_o deserve_v that_o and_o much_o other_o punishment_n if_o god_n of_o his_o great_a grace_n and_o indulgence_n give_v we_o not_o a_o clew_n of_o his_o thread_n to_o guide_v we_o we_o be_v confound_v and_o lose_v in_o this_o world_n labyrinth_n he_o be_v we_o and_o the_o world_n prop_n and_o if_o it_o have_v not_o please_v he_o wonderful_o to_o assist_v and_o support_v i_o with_o extraordinary_a strength_n of_o resolution_n and_o his_o good_a spirit_n i_o have_v a_o thousand_o time_n perish_v in_o my_o error_n and_o confusion_n wild_a affection_n which_o lead_v grave_a reason_n by_o the_o nose_n have_v undo_v i_o a_o vertiginous_a spirit_n and_o my_o own_o weight_n and_o strength_n have_v oppress_v i_o and_o well_o may_v i_o miscarry_v see_v the_o strong_a spirit_n be_v in_o the_o multiformity_n of_o their_o discourse_n most_o obnoxious_a to_o find_v reason_n to_o fortify_v themselves_o in_o the_o gross_a obliquity_n to_o we_o in_o propriety_n be_v all_o sensuality_n vanity_n foolish_a presumption_n sophistication_n and_o corruption_n of_o truth_n with_o innumerable_a exorbitancy_n and_o folly_n but_o to_o god_n only_o good_a only_o wise_a just_a merciful_a and_o omnipotent_a be_v ascribe_v all_o honour_n and_o glory_n for_o evermore_o amen_o amen_n good_a god_n i_o be_o the_o work_n of_o thy_o hand_n and_o now_o happy_o of_o thy_o good_a spirit_n let_v thy_o mercy_n work_v with_o i_o and_o upon_o i_o to_o the_o end_n and_o eternity_n tot_o contra_fw-la unum_fw-la caput_fw-la conspirantibus_fw-la quis_fw-la potuissetresistere_fw-la nisi_fw-la dei_fw-la optimi_fw-la maximi_fw-la speciali_fw-la gratia_fw-la aspirante_fw-la there_o have_v need_n in_o truth_n be_v a_o extraordinary_a supply_n and_o support_v of_o reason_n and_o grace_n against_o the_o strange_a and_o strong_a fond_a impression_n of_o the_o melancholy_a humour_n november_n 25._o 1637._o it_o be_v say_v that_o if_o a_o horse_n can_v be_v equal_o place_v to_o provender_n on_o each_o side_n of_o he_o he_o will_v soon_o starve_v then_o resolve_v i_o be_v ambiguous_o constitute_v balance_v in_o disposition_n betwixt_o contemplation_n and_o action_n thrift_n and_o comeliness_n pleasure_n of_o the_o body_n and_o mind_n vice_n and_o virtue_n country_n town_n and_o court_n private_a or_o public_a course_n of_o life_n and_o no_o wonder_n if_o dubia_fw-la torquent_fw-la the_o world_n be_v a_o riddle_n a_o entangle_a skaine_n vexatious_a to_o extricate_v to_o intend_v our_o mind_n and_o affection_n much_o upon_o it_o be_v as_o well_o misery_n as_o vanity_n it_o pay_v we_o with_o a_o cloud_n in_o stead_n of_o juno_n torment_n in_o stead_n of_o contentment_n we_o often_o lose_v substance_n for_o shadow_n and_o felicity_n by_o over-searching_a it_o there_o be_v a_o proportion_n of_o wit_n most_o conducible_a to_o this_o world_n resolution_n and_o happiness_n if_o we_o exceed_v or_o come_v short_a of_o that_o element_n either_o the_o height_n and_o fineness_n of_o the_o air_n agree_v not_o with_o our_o lung_n and_o subsistence_n or_o we_o be_v dampt_v and_o suffocate_v in_o a_o over_o earthly_a and_o phlegmatic_a dulness_n as_o in_o square_a pave_v stone_n such_o only_o endure_v the_o earth_n and_o open_a weather_n as_o be_v neither_o overhard_a nor_o soft_a so_o be_v it_o in_o the_o temper_n of_o man_n spirit_n for_o the_o undergo_n of_o this_o world_n incident_n happy_a such_o as_o most_o slight_o pass_v through_o it_o yea_o god_n himself_o require_v that_o we_o esteem_v it_o as_o but_o a_o passage_n to_o eternity_n a_o point_n a_o nothing_o in_o respect_n he_o only_o can_v fill_v and_o satisfy_v the_o curious_a soul_n i_o can_v be_v sorry_a that_o the_o pleasure_n of_o this_o life_n concern_v i_o neither_o in_o use_n nor_o affection_n when_o i_o consider_v their_o sting_n their_o molestation_n and_o emptiness_n compare_v with_o the_o sweet_a comfort_n of_o god_n favour_n and_o the_o blessedness_n of_o everlasting_a life_n there_o like_o the_o upper_a region_n dwell_v all_o peace_n purity_n and_o glory_n here_o all_o corruption_n meteor_n of_o imperfect_a mixtion_n storm_n and_o calamity_n there_o be_v our_o true_a country_n and_o region_n where_o when_o god_n shall_v have_v refine_v we_o we_o shall_v live_v and_o shine_v more_o glorious_a than_o the_o star_n i_o have_v promiscuous_o specify_v the_o cause_n and_o original_n of_o my_o melancholy_a disease_n i_o be_v deep_o engage_v in_o it_o before_o i_o suspect_v it_o and_o have_v give_v so_o much_o way_n to_o it_o to_o take_v root_n in_o i_o as_o make_v the_o cure_n most_o difficult_a it_o be_v a_o goliath_n but_o we_o must_v not_o like_a david_n fight_v against_o it_o with_o our_o own_o arm_n
though_o the_o melancholic_a patient_n have_v a_o wolf_n by_o the_o ear_n of_o his_o disease_n trouble_v in_o hold_v and_o stir_v and_o unsafe_a to_o let_v go_v yet_o i_o esteem_v it_o a_o poor_a resolution_n to_o suffer_v a_o root_a mischief_n which_o be_v present_o noxious_a and_o will_v more_o and_o more_o grow_v dangerous_a upon_o fear_n of_o adventure_n where_o there_o be_v any_o the_o least_o hope_n of_o deliver_v ourselves_o in_o supportable_a evil_n admit_v and_o excite_v rather_o to_o any_o hazard_n than_o a_o miserable_a toleration_n a_o hopeless_a condition_n be_v most_o calamitous_a a_o well-built_a body_n will_v endure_v and_o work_v out_o very_o much_o like_o a_o good_a ship_n against_o soul_n weather_n at_o sea_n i_o i_o thank_v god_n be_v such_o that_o have_v not_o my_o mind_n like_o a_o evil_a steersman_n infinite_o even_o of_o late_a be_v injurious_a unto_o it_o i_o have_v by_o god_n grace_n infallible_o prevail_v both_o against_o my_o giant_n disease_n and_o infinite_a intervening_a unfriendly_a accident_n but_o by_o god_n help_n i_o daily_o mend_v and_o hope_v to_o leap_v over_o the_o wall_n nil_fw-la desperandum_fw-la in_o christo_fw-la nil_fw-la auspice_n christo._n l'industrie_n est_fw-fr de_fw-fr nous_fw-fr l'heâ—rex_fw-la suceez_fw-fr de_fw-fr dieu_fw-fr december_n 11._o 1637._o to_o give_v we_o courage_n in_o misfortune_n it_o be_v well_o say_v of_o fortune_n that_o her_o course_n be_v irregular_a and_o that_o we_o ought_v not_o to_o despair_v of_o she_o for_o often_o when_o she_o appear_v to_o threaten_v we_o with_o imminent_a ruin_n she_o be_v true_o in_o the_o article_n and_o catastrophe_n of_o our_o good_a and_o advantage_n it_o be_v more_o verify_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n nothing_o more_o ordinary_a with_o he_o then_o by_o humble_v we_o to_o exalt_v we_o and_o to_o strew_v the_o path_n to_o heaven_n with_o affliction_n caesar_n animate_v his_o pilot_n by_o carry_v he_o and_o his_o fortune_n it_o be_v a_o vain_a presumption_n but_o he_o who_o the_o almighty_a be_v pilot_n to_o can_v sink_v nor_o miscarry_v to_o demonstrate_v his_o power_n and_o awake_v the_o faith_n of_o his_o favourite_n he_o permit_v as_o to_o his_o disciple_n the_o storm_n to_o rise_v and_o wave_n to_o threaten_v destruction_n and_o in_o his_o mighty_a and_o supernatural_a reskue_n appear_v his_o sweet_a comfort_n his_o great_a glory_n nec_fw-la deus_fw-la intersit_fw-la nisi_fw-la dignus_fw-la vindice_fw-la nodus_fw-la as_o the_o divine_n affirm_v that_o tentation_n proceed_v from_o the_o devil_n may_v be_v distinguish_v by_o their_o violent_a and_o sudden_a surprise_n so_o may_v divine_a deliverance_n be_v infallible_o know_v by_o the_o sudden_a and_o extraordinary_a help_n that_o we_o receive_v from_o they_o at_o such_o time_n as_o our_o condition_n appear_v unto_o we_o most_o irremediable_a and_o desperate_a i_o have_v infinite_a matter_n and_o thanks_o to_o render_v to_o my_o maker_n to_o my_o saviour_n but_o in_o nothing_o more_o than_o that_o of_o his_o abundant_a mercy_n he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o lead_v i_o through_o sea_n through_o wilderness_n of_o trouble_n and_o error_n by_o a_o cloud_n by_o fire_n by_o the_o thunder_n of_o his_o voice_n by_o infinite_a wonder_n for_o near_o forty_o year_n together_o to_o bring_v meat_n last_o to_o his_o happy_a land_n of_o promise_n that_o be_v to_o peace_n joy_n and_o repose_v in_o he_o where_o alone_o flow_v all_o true_a happiness_n and_o fix_a contentment_n there_o can_v in_o truth_n be_v no_o constant_a courage_n without_o a_o firm_a faith_n and_o assurance_n of_o god_n favour_n towards_o we_o that_o alone_o fortify_v we_o against_o danger_n darkness_n and_o death_n december_n 12._o 1637._o it_o be_v true_o say_v that_o we_o know_v so_o much_o as_o we_o put_v in_o practice_n nor_o be_v the_o notion_n and_o float_a impression_n of_o the_o brain_n without_o a_o through_o tincture_n of_o the_o heart_n and_o soul_n any_o effectual_a science_n and_o so_o it_o be_v that_o virtue_n be_v constitute_v a_o habit_n and_o not_o only_o a_o babble_a scientifical_a discourse_n of_o the_o mind_n until_o i_o consider_v this_o i_o often_o wonder_v to_o see_v the_o best_a clerk_n often_o the_o worst_a man_n as_o well_o as_o none_o of_o wise_a man_n read_v and_o study_v common_o rather_o for_o curiosity_n to_o censure_v to_o learn_v language_n and_o the_o course_n and_o manner_n of_o the_o world_n to_o maintain_v a_o side_n to_o gain_v bread_n and_o knowledge_n like_o other_o man_n rather_o than_o truth_n virtue_n and_o piety_n to_o gather_v opinion_n and_o to_o appear_v good_a rather_o than_o to_o be_v propound_v to_o ourselves_o wrong_v object_n no_o wonder_n if_o we_o miss_v the_o right_n which_o make_v so_o many_o scholar_n who_o study_n to_o get_v the_o best_a live_n less_o virtuous_a in_o their_o life_n than_o other_o who_o more_o virtuous_o and_o spiritual_o then_o worldly_a affect_v study_v rather_o to_o nourish_v then_o cloth_n to_o die_v then_o paint_v their_o mind_n corrupt_a nature_n like_o a_o deprave_a stomach_n turn_v and_o assimilate_v all_o nourishment_n it_o make_v a_o alien_n of_o foreign_a instruction_n and_o govern_v itself_o by_o its_o own_o law_n nay_o ordinary_o against_o our_o will_n and_o resolution_n nature_n relapse_n and_o ravish_v we_o from_o our_o moral_n from_o our_o metaphysicals_n sensuality_n prevail_v and_o we_o prevaricate_v with_o our_o conscience_n when_o i_o approach_v god_n sanctuary_n this_o be_v yet_o less_o strange_a unto_o i_o there_o as_o copernicus_n have_v place_v the_o sun_n in_o the_o centre_n of_o this_o universe_n who_o influence_n and_o magnetic_a virtue_n give_v life_n and_o motion_n to_o all_o material_a creature_n so_o be_v it_o clear_a that_o the_o immaterial_a mind_n of_o man_n have_v its_o life_n and_o motion_n only_o from_o the_o good_a spirit_n of_o god_n and_o unless_o by_o his_o influence_n and_o inspiration_n he_o carry_v our_o instruction_n and_o information_n to_o the_o root_n except_o he_o alter_v reform_v and_o season_v our_o heart_n like_o hasty_a shower_n all_o pass_v away_o whereas_o a_o sound_a heavenly_a dew_n work_v a_o better_a water_v and_o fruitfulness_n want_v of_o that_o divine_a irradiation_n make_v we_o such_o mungrill_n such_o half_a christian_n as_o we_o ordinary_o be_v acknowledge_v our_o faith_n and_o saviour_n in_o our_o tongue_n and_o deny_v he_o in_o our_o life_n god_n of_o his_o great_a grace_n grant_v we_o his_o save_a spirit_n and_o we_o shall_v as_o well_o practice_n as_o seem_v to_o know_v and_o profess_v amen_o amen_n december_n 14._o 1637._o no_o wonder_n that_o i_o search_v into_o the_o abstruse_a cause_n and_o proceed_n of_o my_o disease_n for_o i_o be_o a_o wonder_n to_o myself_o that_o a_o sanguine_a complexion_n with_o a_o natural_a strength_n of_o body_n and_o mind_n and_o none_o of_o the_o most_o impertinent_a in_o wit_n and_o discourse_n shall_v fall_v into_o so_o great_a a_o confusion_n and_o consumption_n of_o mind_n body_n and_o fortune_n without_o some_o outward_a most_o apparent_a violence_n but_o beside_o what_o i_o have_v former_o express_v i_o consider_v that_o steep_v myself_o in_o my_o beginning_n in_o the_o study_n of_o mountain_n essay_n which_o be_v full_a of_o scepticism_n and_o a_o kind_n of_o moral_a mortification_n in_o cry_v down_o the_o delight_n and_o presumption_n of_o this_o world_n prove_v to_o a_o taint_a and_o tender_a mind_n a_o great_a amatement_n and_o blunt_v with_o a_o anxious_a disposition_n of_o doubt_n in_o the_o ordinary_a course_n and_o pleasure_n of_o this_o life_n that_o and_o much_o adverse_a accident_n nip_v i_o in_o my_o first_o spring_n otherwise_o in_o all_o probability_n i_o who_o in_o that_o lowness_n and_o oppression_n of_o spirit_n which_o have_v possess_v i_o can_v yet_o so_o bear_v up_o as_o in_o some_o measure_n to_o become_v seek_v and_o respect_v by_o the_o better_a sort_n may_v have_v be_v somewhat_o more_o than_o i_o have_v be_v in_o the_o eminency_n of_o this_o world_n but_o the_o great_a and_o good_a god_n have_v otherwise_o ordain_v nor_o be_o i_o without_o hope_n that_o he_o who_o have_v to_o this_o day_n so_o wonderful_o support_v and_o convert_v i_o will_v thereby_o work_v his_o glory_n and_o my_o good_a it_o be_v true_a that_o my_o course_n have_v be_v most_o improsperous_a yet_o never_o of_o a_o gross_o irrational_a or_o unthrifty_a election_n i_o have_v in_o truth_n be_v so_o far_o from_o humour_v myself_o in_o the_o impulsion_n of_o nature_n or_o most_o delightful_a object_n of_o my_o fancy_n that_o i_o have_v main_o resist_v myself_o therein_o it_o have_v please_v god_n to_o make_v i_o a_o instrument_n of_o cross_v and_o punish_v myself_o in_o whatsoever_o i_o most_o place_v my_o mind_n the_o obstinate_a continuance_n of_o my_o disease_n and_o the_o fail_n of_o those_o who_o i_o have_v trust_v and_o rely_v upon_o have_v abuse_v i_o i_o have_v lose_v much_o
contemperament_n and_o heat_n strength_n goodness_n and_o sweetness_n of_o nature_n and_o supernatural_a grace_n excite_v and_o maintain_v i_o find_v the_o best_a companion_n and_o physician_n of_o body_n and_o soul_n you_o be_v witness_v how_o necessary_a they_o have_v be_v of_o late_a unto_o i_o in_o the_o sorrow_n and_o trouble_n i_o have_v undergo_v i_o thank_v you_o for_o your_o visit_n and_o spiritual_a comfort_n you_o impart_v to_o my_o relapsed_a son_n he_o still_o need_v it_o he_o have_v not_o want_v natural_a heat_n and_o courage_n temper_n moderation_n and_o a_o well_o concoct_v discourse_n as_o well_o as_o a_o thorough_a digestion_n to_o some_o peccant_a humour_n of_o his_o body_n i_o fear_v he_o do_v time_n and_o conflict_n with_o evil_n have_v not_o confirm_v and_o wrought_v upon_o he_o exchange_n of_o liberty_n health_n and_o pleasure_n for_o disease_n restraint_n and_o pain_n with_o a_o apprehensive_a contemplation_n of_o imminent_a death_n this_o mortal_a year_n work_v a_o melancholic_a dejection_n upon_o his_o mind_n and_o meet_v with_o his_o infirmity_n appear_v at_o this_o time_n his_o great_a danger_n a_o little_a ease_n strength_n and_o alacrity_n of_o spirit_n animate_v his_o natural_a presumption_n to_o his_o harm_n and_o a_o little_a cloud_n overca_v he_o as_o much_o exanimate_v if_o god_n have_v not_o furnish_v i_o with_o as_o strong_a a_o resolution_n to_o flight_n as_o i_o have_v ever_o be_v apt_a to_o apprehend_v the_o worst_a event_n i_o have_v a_o thousand_o time_n miscarry_v there_o be_v no_o slavery_n like_o the_o fear_n of_o death_n no_o bravery_n like_o the_o contempt_n of_o the_o world_n and_o fortune_n i_o have_v lose_v possession_n friend_n brother_n child_n but_o i_o have_v find_v god_n and_o have_v not_o lose_v myself_o i_o have_v sow_v kindness_n and_o reap_v disrespect_n my_o good_a intention_n charity_n resolution_n and_o the_o grace_n of_o god_n be_v my_o reward_n and_o ever-relieving_a cordial_n i_o seek_v not_o myself_o abroad_o nor_o judge_v myself_o or_o other_o by_o the_o success_n other_o weakness_n and_o distemper_n shall_v not_o be_v i_o it_o shall_v rather_o fortify_v and_o recollect_v i_o if_o my_o exuberance_n of_o natural_a heat_n and_o fancy_n breed_v my_o inconvenience_n i_o can_v make_v a_o oil_n of_o the_o same_o scorpion_n to_o help_v i_o not_o to_o have_v too_o much_o be_v not_o to_o have_v enough_o aliquid_fw-la amputandum_fw-la be_v the_o best_a constitution_n luxuriance_n of_o nature_n be_v the_o long_a lastre_n at_o least_o if_o violence_n accident_n and_o overbold_a indiscreet_a propense_a adventure_n intercept_v it_o not_o heat_n be_v the_o vehiculum_n of_o virtue_n hot_a nature_a plant_n have_v the_o strong_a faculty_n and_o bravely_a resist_v the_o vigour_n and_o extremity_n of_o weather_n and_o winter_n thus_o i_o play_v the_o pedlar_n with_o you_o to_o you_o i_o open_v my_o pack_n of_o small_a ware_n to_o the_o world_n i_o dare_v but_o will_v not_o they_o will_v but_o pry_v and_o smile_v and_o scorn_n not_o buy_v to_o use_v to_o wear_v and_o make_v their_o own_o you_o find_v here_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o trash_n but_o no_o trumpery_n many_o babble_n and_o toy_n yet_o some_o glove_n to_o wear_v knife_n to_o cut_v linen_n to_o adorn_v cover_n and_o keep_v warm_a looking-glass_n to_o see_v and_o order_v yourself_o pedlar_n be_v not_o ever_o unwelcome_a sometime_o they_o be_v require_v at_o least_o let_v my_o good_a will_v make_v not_o unwelcome_a unto_o you_o this_o my_o good_a morrow_n yet_o to_o go_v a_o little_a further_o and_o end_v where_o i_o begin_v there_o be_v a_o happy_a and_o just_a use_n to_o be_v make_v of_o natural_a heat_n of_o ourselves_o and_o of_o god_n creature_n institute_v as_o oil_n for_o cheerfulness_n of_o countenance_n and_o wine_n to_o rejoice_v the_o heart_n of_o man_n that_o use_n to_o find_v that_o to_o practice_v without_o decline_v either_o to_o excess_n or_o fantastical_a superstition_n and_o rigidity_n of_o humane_a 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