the wife This is a means to enjoy peace It was the moral mans Observation Heratius Latius regres avidum domande spiritum c. That a man should conquer more by ruling his spirit then by conquering the greatest Person in the World And the Holy Spirit of God directs that we should forbear one another in love Co. 3.13 and the same Apostle exhorts to be long-suffering this is our duty as Christian in general and the same is incumbent upon man and wife in particular to yield sometimes to each other in love That was an excellent example of Self-denyal Example which faithful Abraham gave when his wife Sarah was angry with her Maid Hagar whom she her self had given to her Husband to get Children because she her self was barren as you may read Gen. 16.1 2. Abraham left her Maid at her Mistresse dispose and she by her hard usage made her fly away And this must needs be against Abraham's heart that Hagar should be so hardly used and constrained to fly away whom he had gotten with Child by his Wives consent and no doubt had affection for her yet Abraham condescends to his wife for Abraham said unto Sarah Thy Maid is in thy hand do to her as it pleaseth thee Again when Sarah had brought forth Isaac and Sarah did see Ismael the Son of Hagar mocking of her Son Isaac She calleth to Abraham her Husband Put away the Bond-woman and her Son for the Son of the Bond-woman shall not be heir with my Son even with Isaac Gen. 21.10 11. This thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight because of his Son Ismael yet as God directs him he yieldeth to his wife and putteth away Hagar and Ismael out of doors and then all was at peace Thus sometimes a sweet Condescenâ—sin in things lawful is a sweet well-pleasing means to preserve Love between Husband and Wife And as the Husband so the Wife is to labour by the Power and Grace of Christ to be of a self-denying submitting meek and quiet spirit which in the eyes of the Lord is a thing much set by witnesse Saint Peter 1 Pet. 3.4 For a Wife to deny her self Example and her own will for the love of her Husband is a means to preserve Love and prevent the danger of separation Had Queen Vasti denyed her self to please her Husbands fancy of shewing her Beauty to his Guests as he desired Hester 1.11 12. she might have prevented his anger and continued Queen to her death in all likelihood Thus you see the passing by of occasions of anger and a loving condescending to each others lawful desires is an excellent Gold-link of Love and means to preserve Love between Husband and Wife during Lives The seventeenth Direction The seventeenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love now followeth This is to exercise spiritual wisdome how and when to speak one to another of any thing that is not well done or said by either party or that they perceive is contrary to either of their minds or affections or not for their profit safety or honour A word fitly spoken in due season how good is it saith King Solomon Prov. 15.23 And Prov. 25.11 A word fitly spoken is like Apples of Gold in pictures of Silver And the kingly Preacher telleth us there is a time for all things Eccles 3.1 For that which is spoken may be well taken at one time which will not be so well resented at another time For Example Example when Churlish covetous Nabal had used Davids young men unkindly and brought himself and Family in great danger we see Abigail meeting David with a Present and pacifieth David and prevents his shedding of Blood as you may read 1 Sam. 25.26 and returning home she findeth her Husband keeping a Feast like a King and merry with Wine for he was very Drunken verse 36. wherefore she told him nothing less or more untill the morning But it came to pass in the morning when the Wine was gone out of Nabal then she told him these things and then he was sensible of his folly to the full 1 Sam. 25.37 1 Sam. 25.37 Thus when a Husband or Wife is in any Distemper drunken with Wine or strong drink or with any passion or discontent it is wisdome to forbear speaking and to observe a sit time and in a loving manner to declare mildly and peaceably what was a failing on either part and that with meeknesse of spirit For a soft Answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up Anger as we noted before Prov. 15.10 The Apostle St. James his direction is good James 1.19 20. Be swift to hear slow to speak slow to wrath for the wrath of Man worketh not the righteousness of God Thus spiritual policy yea even civil wisdome is one special help to quench the fire of jars and unnecessary fallings out and to preserve Conjugal Love between Husband and Wife during their lives An eighteenth Direction The eighteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love in this Golden Chain of Love is to be of a well-pleasing quiet spirit toward each other not seeking quarrels but rather seeking to please one another in Love in the Lord this duty St. Paul intimateth 1 Cor. 7.33 34. The married man careth for the things of this World how he may please his wife and the married woman how she may please her Husband The Apostle holdeth this out I humbly conceive not only as a practice but as a Christian duty also to be careful both Husband and Wife to please one another in all things lawful and convenient in the Lord for Rom. 15.1 2 3. He giveth this Rule for Christians in general That the strong ought to bear the Infirmities of the weak and not to please our selves But let every one please his Neighbour to Edification Now if this be the duty of all Christians to please one another for their good Then much more of Husbands and Wives to be well-pleasing to each other not to be contentious or quarrelsome or cross for Trifles or small Matters but to be wise and seek to please and give content to each other according to their Duties and Places This is heavenly wisdome saith St. James which is from above and is first pure then peaceable gentle and easie to be intreated full of mercy and good fruits without partiality and without hypocrisie James 3.17 18. And this wisdome ought to be between Husband and Wife to be peaceable not troublesome to each other For as the wise man speaketh He that troubleth his own House shall inherit the Wind and the Fool shall be servant to the wise in heart Prov. 11.29 And Prov. 19.13 11. A foolish Son is the calamity of his Father and the contentions of a Wife are a continual dropping it will rot a house in time And again Houses and Riches are the Inheritance of Fathers But a prudent Wife is from the Lord Prov. 19.14
an especiall Gold-link of Love to bind love fast between husband and wife The fourteenth Gold-link of Love followeth The fourteenth Direction or Gold link of Love There ought to be a mutual care of and for Education of their Children which God hath graciously given unto them as Jacob spake to his Brother Esau Gen. 33.5 That they be taught and instructed both in civil and spiritual Respects both in divine and humane Learning according to the Honour and Dignity of their Places and Calling It is King Solomon's Counsel Prov. 22.6 Teach a Child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it when he is old Especially that they be seasoned with the Catechism and first principles of the Oracles of God Heb. 5.12 and the Knowledge of God's will in the Sacred Scriptures as blessed Timothy was for which St. Paul giveth that excellent Testimony you may read 2 Tim. 3.15 That from a Child he had known the holy Scriptures which are able to make us wise unto Salvation through Faith which is in Christ Jesus This is life eternal to know God the onely true God and whom he hath sent Jesus Christ John 17.3 For this care of instructing Children and Family the Lord himself commended faithful Abraham and maketh him of his secret Counsel Shall I hide from Abraham the thing that I do And he giveth this for one Reason For I know him saith the Lord that he will Command his Children and his Houshold after him to keep the way of the Lord to do Justice and Judgment that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him and his Posterity Gen. 18.19 Again this was God's Command to his People Israel That they should teach their Children diligently the Law and Word of the Lord and thou shalt talk of them when thou art in thy House and when thou walkest by the way and when thou risest up as it is recorded Deut. 6.6 7. and this no doubt with holy reverence and devotion as desirous to reveal God's mind to their Children and Family And Children are commanded to hearken to their Parents instruction Prov. 1.8 My Son hear the Instruction of thy Father and forget not the Law of thy Mother And again Prov. 31.1 you may find the words of King Lemuel the Prophecy which his Mother taught him To conclude the Apostle St. Paul Ephes 6.1 2 3 4. presseth the duty both of Children and Parents First Children obey your Parents in all things as it is fit in the Lord and honour thy Father and Mother which is the first Commandement with promise That it may be well with thee and thou mayest live long in the Land And Fathers provoke not your Children to wrath that they be not discouraged but bring them up in the Nurture and Admonition of the Lord. Thus Children well instructed in the knowledge of God's mind may be a joy to Parents and Parents enjoy their Children as blessings from the Lord and behold them as Olive branches round about their Table to God's Glory Psal 128. and as the Pledges of their mutual Love to each other And this is an excellent Gold-link of Love to preserve and keep mutual Conjugal Love between Husband and Wife The fifteenth Direction The fifteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love is That the Husband and Wife according to their duty do live together and not seperate the one from the other except with consent for a time upon most necessary occasions or that they may give themselves to Fasting and Prayer and come together again that Satan tempt them not as St. Paul directeth 1 Cor. 7.5 That so living lovingly together as heirs of the Grace of life they may be mutual Helpers to each other in these Conjugal Duties This Rule St. Peter giveth 1 Pet. 3.7 Husbands dwell with your Wives as men of Knowledge And St. Paul 1 Cor. 7.13 If a woman that believeth hath a husband that believeth not or is not a Christian yet if he please to dwell with her let her not leave him but continue that she may be a help to him for his Soul as well as for his Body and Estate When God did make the woman The Lord God said It is not good for man to be alone I will make him a help meet for him Gen. 2 18. And a good wife will be a Helper for good not a hinderance to her husband God did make the woman to be a second-self Mr. Ainsworth in Gen. 2. like him in nature knit to him in Love needful for Children helpful in all Duties present always with him and so very meer and profitable as a joyful Companion in all estates in adversity as well as in Prosperity in Sickness as well as in Health in Poverty as well as in a rich Estate This requireth cohabitation That the wife leave not the husband nor the husband forsake the wife Because this unjust and unchristian forsaking of husband or wife for light differences for any thing less then that which is a sufficient ground for a lawful Divorce by the Law of God This giveth occasion of sin abateth love and cannot expect a blessing from God yea this too often doth break off Love betwixt Husband and Wife when cohabitation doth preserve Conjugal Love and will do if they live in the fear of God and follow his Directions to the end The sixteenth Direction The sixteenth Direction or or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love to bind love fast and prevent sinful Breaches betwixt husband and wife is for both to learn that first lesson of a Christian which our Saviour taught his Disciples Math. 16.24 They must sometimes deny themselves that is their own wills and desires passions and affections bridle rash anger and over-rule their passions yea their right sometimes for quietness sake they must not be both self-willed nor both angry at once or at the same time King Solomon witnesseth That he that is stow to Anger is better then the Mighty and he that ruleth his Spirit then he that taketh a City Prov. 16.32 And a soft answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up anger Prov. 15.1 And again that wise man Prov. 19. Prov. 19.9 19. It is better to dwell in a Corner of the house top then with a Brawling woman in a wide House And again verse 19. It is better to dwell in the Wilderness then with a contentious and angry woman And that Kingly Preacher again Eccles 7.9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry for anger resteth in the bosome of Fools Simile It was a witty conceit of the Father who gave two Caps to his new married Son and Daughter made fit for Solomons angry Fools with this Contract that they should never put them on both at once But if the husband had put on his Cap the wife should let hers lie still not take it by any means and the same direction to
O Lord Zach. 12.10 prepare our hearts to Prayer and so assist us with thy holy Spirit of Prayer and Supplication Rom. 8.26 27. that our Prayers may be acceptable Rev. 8.3 4. and we may receive a gracious Answer in and for the sweet Incense and Merits of the Lord Jesus Christ our blessed Lord and Saviour Amen O eternal Deut. 32.27 most gratious merciful everlasting everliving Exod. 34.6 7. Jer. 10.11 1 Tim. 1.17 Isaiah 46.9 10. Rom. 8.28 Rom. 11.33 34 35 36. and only wise God who orderest all things according to the Counsel of thy own most just and holy Will and disposest of all for thy own eternal Glory and the eternal good of thy Church and Children in Christ Jesus of whom may we seek for Protection and safety of Soul or Body or any other blessing but of thee our God and heavenly Father in our Saviour Christ from whom cometh every good and perfect Gift James 1.17 with whom is no variableness nor shadow of turning The last night we durst not lay down our eyes to sleep Psal 132.4 nor suffer the temples of our head to take any rest until we had begged thy gratious Providence for preservation of us and ours in particular and of thy whole Church in general And thou O blessed God who art the hearer of Prayer hast in thine abundant goodness heard our Prayer Psal 65.2 Psal 66.18 19 20. and brought us to the light of this day blessed be thy great and glorious Name thou mightest O Lord in thy Justice have consumed us by Fire to ashes Exod. 12.29 30. and made our Beds our Graves One or more of us might have been stricken with some terrible tormenting Sickness we might have been found dead in our Beds as many have been many other miseries might have befallen us But in thy great mercy thou hast spared us Lam. 3.22 23. and renewed thy mercies to us this Morning What shall we render to thy heavenly Majesty for thy Favours And now we dare not adventure into the World without intreating thy Protection and Blessing in and upon our just and lawful Endeavours We confess O Lord we are not worthy the least of all thy mercies Genesis 32.10 and thy loving-kindnesses which from time to time thou hast shewed to thy Servants We acknowledge we have not been sensible of that original corruption of our depraved Natures Eph. 2.1 2 3. and our proneness to Sin drawn from our first Parents corrupted by their lamentable Fall Genesis 3.6 7. Genesis 6.5 nor have we humbled our selves in sence of this our misery as we should have done we have not kept our Hearts with all diligence out of which are the issues of death Prov. 4.23 But our Hearts have followed our Eyes beholding Vanity Jer. 4.14 Psal 141.3 and vain thoughts have too long lodged within us We have not set a watch O Lord before our Lips and kept the doors of our Mouths but many idle unprofitable sinful words for which we must answer at the Day of Judgment have been uttered by us to thy dishonour Mat. 12.36 and evil example of others yea Eph. 4.4 29 30. too many times corrupt Communications to the grief of thy holy Spirit Psal 39.1 Psal 119.67 We have not taken heed to our Feet to walk in the right wayes of thee O Lord but gone aside from the Pathes of thy Commandements and so have been guilty of many actual transgressions both in thought word and deed breaking thy most righteous Lawes We have failed in the Duties of our several particular Relations as Husband to Wife and Wife to Husband Parents to Children and Children to Parents Masters or Dames to Servants and Servants to them not performing our Duties in the fear of God as we ought to have done We have not walked as becometh Christians towards others nor done as we would they should do to us according to that Golden Rule of our blessed Saviour Mat. 7.12 Phil. 1.27 So that by our good Conversation as becometh the Gospel of Christ others might have been stirred up to glorifie thee our heavenly Father Mat. 5.16 So that if thou shouldest enter into judgment with us O Lord Psal 143.2 how can we be justified by any our own righteousness in thy presence Phil. 3.9 10. O then behold us we humbly beseech thee in the face of thy Son Jesus Christ as washed clean by his Blood and accepted by his Merits Mat 3.17 He it is in whom thou art well pleased Acts 5.31 and him thou hast exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance to Israel and remission of Sins Psal 19.12 Oh give us true Repentance for all the Errours of our Lives past for Christ's sake and grant that being delivered out of the hands of all our Enemies Luke 1.74 75. we may serve thee without fear of them in righteousness and true holiness all the days of our lives Bless with us we pray thee all our Friends Psal 35.11 12 13 14. Mat. 5.11 and change the Hearts of our Enemies make them our Friends if it be thy will be gracious to our Children and Servants make our Children thy Children our Servants thy Servants Isa 41.8 and our Friends thy Friends Lev. 19.17 Let us reprove we pray thee and not give evil example Eph. 5.11 nor suffer our Children or Servants to be prophane Swearers or Cursers Lyars Drunkards or unjust Joh. 13.15 Psal 101.6 7. But grant that we may be good examples and that they may be faithful in the Land such as thy servant David would have make them religious like faithful Abraham's servant praying when they are sent about our occasions Lord send me good speed this day Genesis 24.12 that we and they may be blessed Bless with us thy universal Church scattered thorough out the whole World Be gracious we pray thee to the Nations of England Scotland and Ireland poure down thy blessings upon the Kings most excellent Majesty with his Royal Consort the Queen and all the Royal Family preserve Him and Them from all His 1 Tim. 2.1 2. Their and our Enemies Bless all the honourable Nobility the Reverend faithful Ministers of the Gospel in their several places with all the Magistrates Gentry and Commons of the Land and inable us thy humble servants rightly and justly to do our Duty to all our Superiours 1 Pet. 2.17 Inferiours and Equals and to this end increase we most humble intreat thy Majesty all necessary Graces in all our souls Give us we beseech thee a daily supply and increase of Divine Knowledge and heavenly Wisdome Lord increase our Faith Luk. 17.5 and give us such a Faith as purifieth the Heart Acts 15.9 and worketh by Loves Give us true Conversion from all our sins Gal. 5.6 2 Cor. 7.10 and Repentance to Salvation not to be