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A42749 The post-boy rob'd of his mail, or, The pacquet broke open consisting of five hundred letters to persons of several qualities and conditions, with observations upon each letter / publish'd by a gentleman concern'd in the frolick. Gildon, Charles, 1665-1724.; Dunton, John, 1659-1733.; Pallavicino, Ferrante, 1615-1644. 1692 (1692) Wing G735A; ESTC R30411 212,135 446

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laughter till the Congregation mistake the Church for a Bartlemew Booth and the Parson for a Iack Pudding therefore if thou hast not a mind to be Endited as the beau● feu of the Parish return to good Christian drinking a Bottle and a Balmy Harlot take my word ●or't will never make thee loose the way to Heaven for a Man is never on higher Ropes than when elevated with the juice of the Grape and the Embraces of a pretty smooth Darling obedient Wench I always thought thee hadst too much reason to be bubbl'd out of the certain Sweets of this Life for the uncertain airy visionary whims of the next Nature shou'd be the best guide it was once so I am sure according to these devotes and that directs us to pleasure and self preservation I know not why that shou'd be of less Authority with us than with the Patriarchs of old Noah was not condemned for d●inking nor Iuda for Whoring nor can I understand that this improvement of our Nature by obligeing us to ●e what we are not made has at all increased the number of the Pious it has only added to the Kindom of Hypocrisie How canst thee with patience hear the Parson declaim with a thundring Voice on a Sunday morning against Drunkenness when he has scarce recovered the Saturday Nights Debo●h of half a dozen Bottles for his share or against Usury and Oppression when he has squabl'd with his poor Parishioner the under Ale-Draper of the Village for the Tithe Pigg nay and tenth Egg too Against Whoring and incontinency when he came seeking from his Amorous Spouse or perchance from his Neighbours Wife that hears all he says against Adultery as if it were an Alegory to me there seems no greater Argument of the Imposture of Religion than to see those that te●ch it us use God on the Sundays with so familar a C●mpellation when they have acted against all his Precepts the whole Week about for if they believed any thing of him certainly they never durst presume to banter him so in the face of a full Assembly the greatest part of which perhaps knows their Life and Conversation Pox you know I hate such a long Letter but I hate mo●e to loose the acquai●tance of an honest fellow that knows the relish of Vice as well as any Man alive I●ll tell thee one or two things which I hope will engage thy Curiosity to come to To●n there is latel● a Prize of French Wine taken which I know where to carry thee to the drinking of and next Mrs. Britain has got a s●t of new Face● Plump Beautiful and fresh as a Rose in Iune as soon as the Sun has ki●s'd the Dew from it therefore if thou intendest to h●ve thy share of either take Post leave thy ill shap'd gravity behind thee and a●●ume th● old Jovial Humour and then fly to thy Friend and Humble Servant R. Wilson We all confest there was something glitt●ring and takeing in this Letter that it was writ with a free air and some Sparkles of a good Genius but said Mr. Grave I am of opinion that Wit consists no more in rediculing the Clergy and laughing at Religion thus Religion does in a starch'd Face a forc'd Gogle at Church a Tone through the Nose and perpetual ●●●zing of every Company with the Mysteries of Faith or a Map of the Kindom of the Devil Methinks persued Mr. Winter if he had been a Man of true Reason that had writ it he would not have inclined to the weaker side ev'n according to the stress of his own Argument for all his Letter seems to aim at the establishing the uncertainty of Religious affairs but takes it for granted there is a greater certainty in the course he Follows tho' without Proof therefore for all he has said what he prefers is fully as uncertain as the other and Reason obliges her followers in things equally uncertain to lean to the safer side now 't is agree'd even by them that if this which Religion commands and teaches should be true they ●re in none of the most pleasant conditions if not they can only say ' t●s an Error of less fatal consequence and that is the loss of such Pleasures which have generally a pain Repentance and Punishment that attends them An Atheist I mean such as pass for such said Fountain is so far from being a Man of Sense that he is a meer Idiot for either he believes a God or he does not if he do he must be something more than foolish to imagin that God has no Worship and if he have a Worship it may be that which he Ridicules for all that he knows and therefore not to be ridiculed by him without the highest madness in the World for if running against the Mouth of a Cannon when 't is let off merit that Name much more does that of giving fire to the wrath of God which must be pointed against his own Bosom with greater certainty of Death and less probability of Escape than the other But if he believe there is no God he is still more out of his Wits for by what means does he imagine this World he loves and enjoys came to be made If by another Being that must be God if from it self it must be Eternal which is impossible for that which is subject to change will in time decay and that which has Generation must have Corruption If by chance What is this chance Is it a Spirit a body or nothing but an empty Word or Notion If it be a Spirit it must have the Attributes of a D●ity and consequently the Worship If a Body they would do well to shew us the place of its ●bode and its dimensions which 〈◊〉 capable of working such a g●●at Work i● nothing out of nothing nothing is made and by nothing nothing can be made but it would be endless to run through all that might be said on this Subject especially since I am convinc'd there is no Man living that does not really believe a Deity Theodorus one of the first that set u● for an 〈◊〉 convinc'd us at his death he had only endeavour'd not to believe one and the same may be said of 〈◊〉 others of that Principle they will once betray themselves to have been the most fo●●ish of Hypocrites in pretending to be greater Devotes to the Devil than they really were Nay said River he is not a Man of Honour for he turns the Sword that is presented him on the breast of him that gave it and that only for the benefit received we call him a Rascal that speaks ill of his Bene●actor behind his Back but he is something more that shall affront him to his face and that without any cause More than that pursued Brook he is a Coward too and the most foolish of Cowards who ' knows he dare not justify his Actions and yet shall when he thinks himself secure abuse the Being he trembles at the thought
Madam how happy are we in so pure and undefil'd a Love by which Souls mingle e'ery minute in the highest extafie of Union without the impeding help if I may use that seeming contradiction of our Bodies Immortal must our Flame be since the immortal part of us is only interested in it The cause of Inconstancy in Common Love is the Body which being of so changeable a nature 't is impossible it should retain any thing long which has the least dependance upon it But the Soul that is still the same must still persevere in the affection it has once made choice of Wonder not at the Expression Madam for our Loves are the effects of Choice not Fancy Virtue and Wit engage us but Beauty and Vice them both frail and fading as the Joys they bring But ours Madam is the Love of Angels sacred Sympathy unites our Souls and mutual Virtues cement our holy Vows not only till Death but even to the next Life of Glory for it being a Native of Heav'n it cannot lose its Being by returning thither but rather improve it to a greater degree than it could attain here oppos'd by the cloggs of gross material bodies for like Fruits transplanted from a warm to a colder Climate 't is less perfect here tho it still retain its form tast and other Excellencies of its Heav'●●● Nature tho not in so exalted a degree Uninterrupted Joy is the Product of our Passion if it merit so gross a Name without any mixture of Pa●n 't is like the Vestal Fire burning without material Fuel whereas the other dyes and is soon extinguish'd if depriv'd of its Fuel Beauty and the auxiliary Bellows of Strifes and petty Squabbles so small and so unhappy is their Pleasure that they can't arrive at or relish it unless they first and often tast of Pain Satiety attends their Success and Quarrels serve for Exercise to gain them a fresh Appetite 'T would be endless to run through all the Advantages we have above them and impertinent to you who are so sensible of them Nor need I caution you how to preserve the Empire you have obtain'd over your Body since you know the Body is a true Coward where it has the mastery being a Tyrant but where 't is overpower'd easily kept in serv●le awe I shall therefore only now subscribe my self Madam Your Admirer and zealous Lover A. James My Life on 't said Chappel this is some antiquated Batchelor whose Sins of his Youth have made him abominate Matrimony Or rather interrupted Brook disabled him from Matrimonial Performances and therefore prudently pursu'd Temple hides his bodily defect under the Mask of Platonic Love And she some super animated Matron said River that has been neglected in a carnal way even by her own Coachman Right assum'd Grave a Woman never forgets the Flesh till her Skin 's turn'd into Buckram by Age. Nor then neither added Winter if she can ●ake it subtile and smooth to some younger Brother by her Fortune This Lady therefore said Summer must be poor as well as old she would never else take up with empty Alms of Passion meer words 'T is well said I she can make a Virtue of Necessity and fly to the Spirit when she can't make use of the Flesh. Platonic Love said Church if we may judge by the Founder's words is not without its secret Heaut●●ust of the Flesh I 'm sure Plato seems to relish the Kiss of Agatho with all the fire of the most amorous Debauchee Right concluded Fountain 't is only a demure Bawd to secret whoring they being the greatest Friends to the Flesh in a Corner who espouse the Spirit so much in the face of the World LETTER LXIV From one beyond Sea expressing his desire of returning to his own native Country 'T was directed to Mr. Gregory at his House in Charles-street Westminster London Honour'd Master Hague June 1692. THE Obligations I have to you engage me to return my Thanks as often as I may without being too chargeable or too troublesome to you I am asham'd to let you know on how ill-deservi●● a Subject you have plac'd all your Favours for must confess I had rather be confin'd to my nati●● low condition in my own Country than have th● Place of Preferment you were so generously plea●● to obtain for me The Splendor of the Court whe● 't is here nor the Civilities of the Natives or m● own Countrymen nay scarce the Advantages ● Interest can make amends for the loss of old E●gland the hopes of seeing which after the Cam●●pagn is over keeps me alive With my Respect● and Duty to my Mistriss and your self I subscrib● my self SIR Your ever oblig'd humble and faithful Servant John Robinson Here 's one said Grave eaten up with the Epidemic Distemper of Mankind The doting adde● Brook on ones own Country Which is better reply'd Temple in my mind than that Contempt 〈◊〉 men shew for the place of their birth The love of one native Country pursu'd River● has such a sw●● ascendant over us that it will not let us forget it 〈◊〉 the greatest plenty nor in the remotest parts of the World True continu'd Fountain and we measure the fulness of our Happiness by the distance or near●ness it sets us in from thence The Pleasures an Grandeur of old Rome were scarce Bribes enough sai●● Church to win the Captives from a desire of the● own barren Country There 's no greater Proof of thi● added Summer than the Inhabitants of some of th● most Northern parts of Norway where one would wo●● 〈◊〉 any of human race should endure to live the inso●●nce of the winds being there so great that it blows way the tops of Houses and Trees up by the Roots at the People chuse rather to live there in Caves like ●easts than to seek some more Hospitable abode Espe●●ally said Chappel since the World is so wide and ● much of the finest Country in the World uninhabited ● some parts of America But pursu'd I this is ●ot so terrible as to live near the Mountains Vesa●ius or Aetna the very reading of the account Pliny 〈◊〉 younger gives of the fiery Inundation in his twen●●eth Letter of his sixth Book to Cornelius Tacitus ●ould make a man have a care of coming within some ●agues of it But this ●ondness of the Country we are ●orn in concluded Winter seems to me a piece of ●igottry since it goes so far beyond what Reasin re●uires and since the whole World is the Country of a ●ise man LETTER LXV From a Coward to his intimate Friend to assist him to gain the Reputation of a man of Courage by parting him in a Duel be must be engag'd in 'T was directed to Mr. at Mr. Herd's near Tunbridge-wells in Kent With care and Speed Dear NED London June 1692. THE confidence I put in you when you read this Letter which is to desire your immediate return to London for I happen'd to be in company last night