of Joy and Peace and It then seems to her that heretofore she was wandring in darkness In effect it seems to her that she now lives in another World with other Lights and other Principles and other Proceeding and another tast of Spiritual things She now seeks occasions to mortifie her Senses obedience dependance contempts losses do relish with her and she 's pleas'd only to live a Life of Faith making no matter of the mockeries of Worldly men who judge not but by Sense or at best but according Humane Reason Second Day Jesus an Infant BEginning my Morning Prayer these words of the Prophet were presented to my Thoughts Consideravi opera tua expavi I have considered your Works O my Saviour and stand amazed with admiration And how could I be otherwise affected to see the Eternal God an Infant To see that Immensity which the Heavens cannot contain lie Swadled in a Manger Eternity but one day old Omnipotency become weakness The joy of Angels in a suffering condition O God of Love who can but fall into an Extasie to see these wonders this excess of Goodness above the comprehension of Men and Angels But Blessed Saviour 't is your Glory to have nothing and do nothing but what is altogether incomprehensible I observ'd a great silence in Heaven and Earth where the whole Creation seem'd to be struck dumb with admiration of the great Mysteries then brought to pass I beheld how the Virgin Mary and good Joseph fixing their Eyes on the Infant God-man lying in a Manger spake not one Word being transported with Love and Admiration and wholly astonish'd at an Humiliation so Prodigious and I wonder'd all Creatures did not stand immoveable for a whole Age at the sight of so incomprehensible a Mystery All Expressions are below this excess of Love and Condescention Let us O my Soul be silent with a respectful attention loveing adoring admiring these great things God has done for us Methinks I have a desire to stand always in silence at the feet of Infant Jesus I apply'd my self in my second Prayer to consider the universal denudation of all things that seem'd most necessary at his coming into the World To be born as an Exile out of his Mothers House to have no lodging usual for men but a Stable which is prepar'd for Beasts to be his Bed-chamber and a Manger for his Cradle to suffer the rigours of Winter for want of Fire what poor miserable Creature could be reduced to a greater denudation Notwithstanding this is that which ravish'd both Heaven and Earth and the Glorious Angels found nothing in Heaven of equal admiration and therefore hither they came to contemplate these wonders and to bring the glad tidings thereof to men making the Air to eccho with their joyful Melody and without any mention of the Divinity declare only to them that they shall find an Infant wrapt in swadling Cloaths lying in a Manger And hither the Shepherds ran transported with Joy and the World has followed them When the Wise men demanded of Herod Where he was born who was King of the Jews This Idaea of Royalty did much afright him and in rage he design'd a Cruelty more Barbarous than what as yet the Sun did ever behold 'T is a great Truth that Grandeur and an elevated condition though in the Person of God himself made man is attended with many evils and commotions but abjection and Humiliations in the Infant Jesus has force enough to win our hearts And yet we will not understand this In my third Prayer I discover'd that since the Mystery of the Incarnation which is the wonderful union of the Creator with the Creature then Sons of men are called to a higher degree of Prayer and Converse with God then formerly The gift of sublime Prayer is one effect of this Divine Mystery and we ought to value and preserve it as a Treasure The heart of Jesus is the center of men and when a poor Soul is distracted she must gently lead her self to the heart of Jesus to offer to the Eternal Father the holy dispositions of that adorable heart to unite that little we do with that Infinite service Jesus renders to his Eternal Father Thus our little will be made great by Jesus Christ O my Soul let this Divine heart of Jesus for the future be thy Oratory 'T is in him and by him thou must offer all thy Prayers to God to make them acceptable to the Divine Majesty Make this thy School to learn there the supereminent knowledge of the Love of God which is quite contrary to that of the World Thou wilt find there Principles sublime and pure a Treasure which will enrich thee with Purity Love and Fidelity and what is very plentiful in this Treasury Humiliations Poverty and Sufferings The love and esteem of these things is a precious Jewel which principally and originally is found in the heart of Jesus Other hearts how noble soever have more or less of it according to the measure they receive from this exhaustible Treasury In my fourth Prayer I had a strong Idaea of the dispositions which the Blessed Virgin and St. Joseph had towards the Infant Jesus 'T was revealed to a Holy Soul that the Blessed Virgin passed all the time in Prayer while her Sacred Womb was the Tabernacle of the Son of God and never ceas'd to adore the Word made Flesh That St. Joseph entring with the Holy Virgin into the Stable at Bethlehem was elevated in high contemplation upon the Mysteries there to be Accomplish'd and in this Prayer was so replenished with the Holy Spirit that his desires for the coming of the Messias were more pure and more ardent then of all the Holy Patriarchs before And that next to the Holy Virgin he was enlightned with the wonders of the Mystery of the Incarnation At the moment of the wonderful Nativity of the Infant Jesus such Rayes of Glory and admirable Splendors were darted from his Soul as pierced the Spirit of the Blessed Virgin and St. Joseph and discover'd to them the Infinite Grandeurs of that Babe through all the weaknesses their eyes were witness of And in deep silence and contemplation they offer'd to him a pure and amorous offering of their whole Being as to their God O who can comprehend the wonderful effects that his presence caus'd in their Hearts These considerations did sweetly possess my Soul during my Prayer and I found my self in a disposition of great Love for Internal Prayer in Silence and Solitude with Infant-Jesus Third Day Jesus Poor and Abject IN my Morning Prayer I found in my self a great esteem and love for Poverty seeing Jesus had so esteem'd and lov'd it and we have an obligation to be conform to him And I said within my self O Poverty of Spirit what riches dost thou bring to a Soul Thou givest her possession of a Kingdom of Peace Thou dost purifie her to unite her to Jesus in his Humiliations which
Behold whither a Soul is conducted whom many think good for nothing O how the judgments of men are different from the thoughts of God! Let then every one honour God by the way and life that is proper for them otherwise they will fall into perturbations of spirit and being disquieted will become troublesom to themselves and others But this is not the work of a day we shall find it a hard task to become dead to the world and our selves Every state is good yea the most abject All Grace is excellent yea the least and meanest There are many sorts of Graces which we perhaps do not much value and yet are really to be more esteemed than Visions Rapts or Revelations To labour and suffer for God is of greater worth than Extasies 'T is a truth well enough known by many though practis'd but by few that a little matter hinders the operation of God's grace in us One only small natural inclination unmortified suffices to retard our progress to perfection For this reason we must exactly die to all Creatures annihilate in us every motion that tends not to God some way or other As for example To give no refreshment to the body by meat drink or sleep c but for necessity We must also mortifie in us the desire of Honour and temporal Commodities yea love abjection pains and poverty willing nothing but what may conduce to advance God's glory I more value the union of a Soul with God in humiliations and sufferings than in consolations CHAP. XIII Some Maxims concerning a Supernatural Life O God! what a poor Christian am I in occasions of tryal I have imprinted in me some Idaea's and Sentiments of a supernatural Life but when it comes to put them in practice my timerous Nature shrinks and makes excuses to shun sufferings and then the occasion being over I have great regreat for not being couragious and come to know thereby my little Virtue and small Perfection I then see that the rule of Perfection is the conformity which we have with Jesus crucified poor and abject When that is great our Perfection is great also But that I find I have little or no affective conformity with Jesus crucified Behold here those lights and directions I have learnt by conference with a holy person and are good for my practice and solid establishment in a supernatural life 1. We must accustom our body to austerities exercising it with loving chastisements for our own transgressions and the sins of others 2. We can never attain to contemplation and a perfect love of the Divinity but by passing first by Jesus crucified poor and abject We see him poor and despised attended with few followers because we refuse to walk in those rough paths he hath set before us 3. We must have an ardent love for solitude and recollection to the end we may be wholly for God and correspond faithfully to the inspirations of his holy Spirit And although we ought to have a general indifferency to all states and calls of God yet 't is better to incline rather to retirement and solitude not meerly to enjoy the sweetness thereof but that we may not be wanting to co-operate with the Grace of God vouchsaf'd unto us Holy solitude is the region of Divine Communications Ducam eam in solitudinem loquar ad cor ejus saith God by the Prophet I will lead a Soul into solitude and speak interiourly to her heart 4. The reason why we see so few even devout Christians make progress in perfection is because they limit the Grace they have received hindring its enlargement by natural arguments and human prudence They say 'T is enough for me to do this or that I ought not to aspire to so high perfection those who live in the world cannot be so elevated in the ways of God These and such-like excuses they make which hinder the Grace of God from working fully what he intended If we did but consider the ardent desire that Jesus hath to advance Souls in the ways of Divine love and how ready he is to bestow on us new Graces upon our faithful corresponding with the former we would be both ravished and ashamed also to be so backward in giving our selves up to the conduct of God who desires nothing so much as that we may love him perfectly and enjoy him eternally But as while Jesus was on Earth 't is said of him That the world knew him not and his own received him not for seeing him born in a Stable circumcis'd as a sinner live poorly as a Carpenter persecuted accused condemned to die an infamous death on the Cross they wou'd not take him for the promised Messias so as yet he is not well known and many Christians themselves do not receive him nor let his Spirit and Maxims reign in their hearts Yea some who profess the way of perfection do not as they ought esteem and embrace his humiliations and abjections For we too much desire Honour and Preferment and too much fear abjection and suffering O my Soul what hast thou done hitherto not to have as yet begun this life crucified and annihilated I confess my folly and blindness O my God! make me presently to set upon it and let not any day pass over without the happiness of suffering something for your love CHAP. XIV What content a Soul receives in a Supernatural Life WE have oftentimes no need of any other care than to be faithful to an ordinary way of Devotion without pretending to what is extraordinary and we have reason to fear that motions now and then to undertake a life of greater perfection may proceed rather from a seeking of our own excellency than a true desire of pleasing God Among these dangers blindness and obscurities we stand in great need of the light of Grace and conduct of some holy Person who is able to discern what is best for us However putting our confidence in God and living in an entire dependence on him we shall find peace and quiet of mind If we have desires for any thing let it be for such things as Jesus crucified desired for they are contrary to our natural inclinations And though there may possibly occur some self-seeking yet this is the way of Grace inasmuch as the Found of our Soul is agreeable to the Interiour of Jesus and not to that of Adam Let us have a desire to be mortified daily with good St. Paul Mortificamur tota die We must endeavour to draw profit from incommodities and ill successes by using them for the advancement of Grace in us By this means we shall purifie our selves and the Interiour of our Souls will empty it self and make room for the spirit of Jesus Christ bringing with him joy and peace unspeakable When we shall have found out the corruption of our heart our inability to any good yea to the least good thought as of our selves 't is not for us to aspire after the most
co-operation O how did I discover clearly the abuses most men commit by profaning the Faculties of their Soul in employing them about Vanities and unprofitable Curiosities as are for the most part our Worldly Affairs We see not except in a Retreat and Solitude how Worldly business hinders the actual knowledge and love of God wherein consists the true Life of our Soul O the happy condition of true Solitaries O how great Wisdom is it to free our selves from Worldly Affairs the better to mind the one thing necessary that is to live a life Divine for which we were created Let us O my Soul flie from distractions and the amusement of Affairs which engage us in a thousand Discourses Vanities Extravagancies and Weaknesses Let us be Faithful O my Soul and give our selves up wholly to God that we may live up to the end of our Creation In my third Prayer this Truth made deep impression on me that the most Sacred Trinity made Man after the Image of God which afterwards being disfigured by sin the same adorable Trinity vouchsafed to imprint it anew and more exactly in our Holy Baptism when we are Baptiz'd In the Name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Ghost We owe our Christianity to this impression of the three Divine Persons We enter not into the Church but by this great and ineffable Mystery which is the foundation of our Catholick Faith I do not see that the Sacred Trinity brings forth any thing created of a more noble Production than a Christian the whole Machine of the World is less considerable for the order thereof is only Natural but a Christian is a Supernatural work wherein it seems the most Sacred Trinity takes delight to be born as it were anew by imprinting his Image in our Souls Shall we deface this Image to make our Souls deformed by some monstruous resemblance Yet this is that we do O my Soul when instead of carefully preserving the Image of the most Sacred Trinity imprinted on us by Baptism not considering the great Honour and Happiness we receive thereby we deform our selves by sin and deface this Image with unclean resemblances O my Soul when shall we be purified Flie from the World and betake thy self to a Holy Solitude For my fourth Prayer God was pleas'd to inspire me with this thought that my Conversation ought to be in Heaven already that is in God for 't is God is our Heaven and 't is in Him I ought to take up my Mansion seeing I was created to consider his Eternal and Temporal Affairs and to contemplate his Infinite Perfections I call the Eternal Affairs of God his Divine Interiour operations the generation of the Eternal Word the procession of the Holy Spirit and the Infinite Complacency which he takes in his incomprehensible Beauties and Grandeurs the Eternal Designs of the Mysteries of the Word made Flesh which was to be accomplish'd in the fulness of time in which however he took an Infinite satisfaction from all Eternity I call the Temporal Affairs of God the execution of his Divine Decrees touching the Mystery of the Incarnation and Passion of Jesus Christ the Creation of the World the Justification and Reprobation of Men God before all time having Infinite Sallies in himself by the Production of the Son and Holy Spirit hath in time had Sallies out of himself full of wonders and admiration O my God how a Soul enlightned from Heaven finds great joy and content in contemplating these Eternal and Temporal Verities out of which all is but deceit and vanity But how low Spirited are they who never attempt the knowledge of these Truths For my part I will never more stand in admiration to see the Holy Hermits forsake the World with intentions never more to return to earthly matters when once they have discover'd the Truth and Beauty of things Eternal and Divine O my God make me dead to the World that I may live to you alone and my Thoughts may be only taken up with your Perfections Second Day BEhold what suddenly comes into my mind about this great and incomprehensible Mystery I am wonderfully content to be in a state of inability to understand it in that the Powers of my Soul are led captive by Faith surrounded with Clouds This inability this obscurity this captivity are pleasing to me and for the future I 'll believe that there is no better way upon earth to please God then by submitting our understanding and will to his Revelations Yea I do more value this captivity to Faith in believing what I see not than all Splendours imaginable How is this submission of our Spirit naturally curious and inquisitive pleasing to God! How much hereby do we honour and glorifie him O glorious Saints with all due reverence I challenge you to be more in love with your Eternal Splendours than I am with these Clouds of Holy Faith If you be content I am no less to be so happy as willingly to captivate my understanding to the high Mysteries God has revealed And that which fills me with joy and makes me happy before I come to Heaven is to find my will in perfect submission to my God and to the meanest Creature for love of him O blessed Souls I am a little too bold with you yet I speak the Truth and ye well know it I aspire to Perfection of Divine Love and this submission is the way to practise it A way sure and excellent In my second Prayer I yet found my Soul taken up with the Grandeurs of this incomprehensible Mystery and being almost lost in this Ocean of infinite wonders was full of Faith and Sweetness at the sight of such adorable Perfections though all surrounded with clouds of darkness For as soon as this Mystery presents it self to the eye of the Soul her light is obscured and casts our Spirit into a thick darkness which yet brings with it a Light to see what reason cannot Nox illuminatio mea My night hath some day and I perceive the Infinite distance between the Creator and his Creature and being plung'd into the Abiss of my own Nothingness I acknowledge O my God and adore your Grandeurs and Perfections I admire I love I obey O my God I adore and believe stedfastly what you are pleas'd to reveal to your Church I neither know nor comprehend nor desire it but am content with my ignorance and submission Let us O my Soul abide as low and abject as Grace can make us for nothing renders us more pleasing to God than profound Humility and annihilation God who is infinitely delighted to dwell in his own Grandeurs is also well pleas'd to see an abject Creature content with its own nothing 'T is an error in Spirituality and savours of self-love to shun abjection under pretence to advance our selves in Divine Love O my Soul let us comply with Gods will and march on in the ways of abjection if God be pleas'd
sufficiently and fewer that practice it in Purity and really aspire to form the true image of Jesus in them In my second Prayer I did apply my self to consider how the Son of God being eternally in the midst between the Father and the Holy Spirit came down from Heaven to be a Mediator between his Eternal Father and us Sinners He tells us that no man can come to Father but by him and that he is the way which leads to Happiness And is it not a sad case that men should so much go astray This is a low and humble way and they puff'd up with Pride will march over mountains in ways above them This is a poor penitential suffering way and they are for a way easie delicious rich and commodious Is it possible to come to the bosom of the Eternal Father except we will march by the way of his Son There 's no other way to come to him and if we take our own way at every step we go farther from him O my God how long shall my Soul lag behind meerly in a way of nature When shall we O my Soul enter into Dispositions truly Christian and conform to the Dictates of a supernatural Life O Jesus my Saviour Redeemer my Exemplar my Way my Light 't is only by following you and your Divine Maxims that we can enter into the light of Life Of necessity then we must pass by Jesus Crucified to come to the Divinity of the Father and enjoy Jesus Glorified We must take up our Cross and follow him if we will enter into Glory My third Prayer was a continuation of like Thoughts I then understood that there 's no entring into Society with the three Divine Persons or arriving to such a height of Prayer as thereby we may live in them a Divine Life but by entring into communication with Jesus Christ and conforming our Life to his example This is a general Rule without exception The Life of Jesus was a severe self-denying Life and ours ought to be of such an austerity as may not ruine our health or dull the Spirit but humble the Body to elevate the Soul In a word we must daily endeavour to humble and annihilate our selves having only in our eye the Will of God The Eternal Father cannot take delight in any Soul that does not endeavour to resemble his Son It concerns us therefore to examine our hearts to see how they stand affected to Sufferings on all occasions If we cannot relish them but flie and complain 't is to be fear'd nature does possess us and not the Spirit of Jesus Christ Water in a glass remains quiet but if it finds the least passage it tends to its own element from whence it can only be kept by force In like manner a Soul that has overtures of Sufferings afforded her will find an inclination to embrace them if Jesus Crucified be her center It matters not by what means these occasions to suffer happen whether by the imprudence of Friends or the malice of Enemies Or her own neglect or any other accident she layes hold on the occasion to unite her self to the abjections of Jesus as to her center Happy is that Soul which is in this temper Grace and the Spirit of Jesus has wrought it in her In my fourth Prayer I went on to entertain my self with the wonders of the Son of God I admir'd that being in the Glory of his Father he descended to our Miseries that he might glorifie his Father in a new manner by purchasing for him such holy Souls who being animated with his Spirit after his example would be in love with Sufferings for Gods sake I saw clearly how the Son of God by his Eternal Birth is most glorious with Infinite Perfections and how he became Man to be capable of Sufferings for our sake And that we must follow Jesus in his Humiliations if we will be partakers of his Glory O what dark Souls have they who see not these Glorious Truths We live here a sensualor worldly life or at most do follow the light of reason rarely do we live a Christian and very rarely a Divine Life A thousand times happy are they who dear Jesus are enlightned by you the true Light of the World Jesus Christ cloath'd himself with a Mortal Body that he might suffer and be Sacrific'd upon the Cross and we ought to bear part with him The Saints who have known and tasted of his Spirit have Martyr'd their Bodies by a thousand Austerities Others have wasted away by degrees in the flames of Divine Love All have been desirous to suffer more or less But we are afraid to hurt our selves and are too apprehensive to endamage our Health For whom do we keep our embraces or for what is it that we are so desirous to live long upon Earth 'T is a vain fear to think we shall shorten our days by our endeavouring to live a Divine Life in our Mortal Bodies Seventh Day I Began my first Prayer by a peculiar instinct of the Holy Spirit bringing often to my mind those precious words of St. Paul God hath sent the Spirit of his Son into our Hearts crying Abba Father And then I found that a Soul assisted with the extraordinary infusions of the Holy Spirit is elevated above her self which is the effect of the gift of Wisdom freely communicated whereby she sees and tasts the ineffable Mysteries of our Religion O what a gracious gift is this What a great favour is it when God is pleas'd thus to communicate himself unto us It then seem'd to me that the faculties of my Soul ceas'd their ordinary operations and the obscurity of Faith as it were vanish'd this Divine Wisdom elevating them in such a manner which they cannot conceive who know not by experience to a very sublime way of working much above their ordinary proceedings The Soul stands wondring at it and can hardly believe she could arrive to such a point of Perfection Then a Divine Light gave me to see at once my unworthiness to receive the Graces of God his Goodness and Mercy to bestow them on me and the merits of Christ whereby they were purchas'd I was much amaz'd that God should vouchsafe so great favours to so wretched a sinner And I did melt in acknowledgements being humbled in my self with an entire confidence in the merits of Jesus I continued my second Prayer and this Divine Light increas'd in my Soul and discovered the favours God vouchsafes to Souls of which there are many degrees according to the proportion of their Purity of heart 1. They see the Deformity of Sin clear enough to conceive a horrour and detestation of it and know confusedly the Christian Virtues the Mysteries of the Sacred Humanity and Divinity 2. They see more clearly some Christian Principles as an Eternity of a Happy or Miserable condition after this Life that our Salvation is our Principal concern and the one thing necessary aend that all
The poorer we are in Spirit the richer we are in Grace the more a Soul is nothing in her self the more God is all in her and is pleased to work great things for her Jesus presented himself to my spirit in my second Prayer discovering to me in general the different states of his life passive in his Sufferings active in Virtues and how he is the Origen and Source of all purity to which we aspire by a spiritual life I conceiv'd first That there 's a purity of suffering which is great indeed when we suffer without seeking relief carrying this Cross for God's sake as long as he pleases There is a purity of action when we act not whether interiourly or exteriourly but by the motion of God's spirit with pure intentions Here arguments of humane reason are cut off and we stir not without some impressions of Grace working only for God by his working in us We must labour hard and be perfectly dead to the world before we can come to this state of purity There 's a purity of intention when we have only an eye to the will of God to do what pleases him without acting upon other Motives though good and laudable wherein seems to be some self-interest as fear to offend to be faithful to God's call to be more loved and rewarded A Soul in this state has no regard to her self but solely to the will of God her End and Object There 's a purity of imployment when a Soul will not divert her thoughts from God but by Order from God himself by some motion of his holy Spirit Hence we shun unnecessary visits unprofitable words superfluous occupations and that is superfluous to one Soul which is not to another by reason of the different degrees of Grace imparted to them We must suffer many mortifications to attain this purity and such a Soul must fear nothing more than Infidelity This is but a branch of the purity of action There 's a purity of Virtue when we practice only what God will have us to do There 's a purity of spiritual delight when the superiour part of the Soul receives no consolations willingly from any Creature or sensual things but stands upon her guard to keep them out And there 's a purity of Prayer when the Soul elevated above her self by the workings of God in her is in extasie of spirit and united to God alone by contemplation A Soul that once has had a feeling of God in her sees an infinite difference between Him and the holiest Creatures and entring into a great interiour solitude converses with God alone All these sorts of purity appeared to me in the Interiour of Jesus as in their Source In my third Prayer I came to know that the mysteries or states of Jesus Christ are not only the exemplar but also the efficient of our states so that we suffer not only to imitate Jesus in his sufferings but because Jesus by his sufferings imprints on us the virtue of his spirit to give us the grace to suffer for him When we pray 't is not only to imitate Jesus in contemplation but because he infuses into our hearts the gift of Prayer by his holy Spirit And if a Soul arrive to that heighth as to possess Jesus Christ in an extraordinary manner he then does all in her and for her she being only pliable to his Divine Operations We cannot continue in this state without wonderful purity the least sally of immortified Nature will much endamage it How often has God been pleas'd to give me experience of this when Jesus uniting himself unto me in the holy Communion annihilates all my thoughts words and affections to become to me all things in me He is my Thankfulness my Offering my Humility my Charity my Prayers and I do nothing but remain united to him who works all for my Soul as it were annihilated in his presence Words as well as thoughts fail us in the presence of the WORD who pleads to his Fathers for those Souls he possesses in such a mysterious manner What marvels are there hidden beyond expression In my fourth Prayer I consider'd that being a Christian I had a strict obligation to follow Christ but besides that general tie I had a special vocation to imitate Jesus in his humiliations To follow him in this way with purity I must forsake all grandeur and be content with poverty and objection and labour stoutly for a perfect abnegation of my self Since God has given me a generous resolution to sacrifice my self wholly to his service I will follow his call though I die for 't Methinks I am enabl'd to do it with great peace and liberty of Spirit What evil can happen to me if I die for God who died for Me Those who choose to be poor out of desire to follow Jesus are peculiar Objects of God's care and providence which extends it self to all men but especially to those who are the lively Images of his Son He is their Father in a peculiar manner and sets a watch about them more than others For is it possible he should not give Bread to them who leave all their Temporals to serve him better and love him purer Let us stifle all humane reasonings on this subject let us go whither Grace calls us and fear nothing If we die in the service 't will be happy for us 'T is a great favour from God when we breath out our Souls in the flames of Divine Love Fifth Day Jesus Zelator of Souls IN my first Prayer I apply'd my self to Jesus as Zelator of Souls for whom he gave his most precious Blood I beheld what I could not comprehend that this Zeal of Jesus for the good of Souls was infinite It seemed to me that my Soul receiv'd some small portion of this holy Zeal and I was powerfully inclin'd to lay out my self for my Neighbours good offering my self to God to do and suffer what he pleased But I perceiv'd this Zeal for Souls must be infused into us we must not run before we be sent otherwise we shall neither do good for others nor our selves but disturb our Interiour and commit many disorders When this Zeal is kindled in our Souls by the breathing of God's holy Spirit it puts nothing out of order but we go in Perfection and advance in Prayer However all must be regulated by Prudence lest we out-run our call and hurt our selves while we would do good to others For our care must be to procure the good of others according to the grace conferred upon us Some in an active life by Preaching and Instructing some by works of corporal Charity others by offering up to God their contemplative life their Solitudes their Austerities their Sufferings their Prayers There are many ways to be instrumental for the good of others Let every one imploy his proper talent Our blessed Saviour being near his Passion left us as a Legacy this divine Commandment Love ye one
he is her repose and true Felicity Alas when shall it be that Jesus possesses my Soul so as never to leave me This is what I sigh after and I will purchase it at any rate So to possess Jesus is a Heaven upon earth and all we have is too little to gain it Come O dear Jesus and make my Heart your Mansion for ever Of all your Graces and Favours I only desire you to be always present with me and that I make it my business so to serve you as in some sort to be made partaker of those admirable disposition of your contemplative Life I then had a sight of the Infinite difference between the service of Jesus between the Sensual and a Spiritual Life This cannot be discerned unless Jesus imprint his Maxims his Spirit and Sentiments in our hearts which will enable us to Crucifie our Sensuality and obey his motions I observ'd that my Devotion to the Sacred Humanity increas'd daily and felt in my Soul such Powerful attracts that no sooner was I in a Praying posture but Jesus possess'd my heart and discover'd something of his Grandeurs to me This Grace I received from his goodness in my third Prayer After which me thought I knew Jesus Christ in a new manner who though inaccessable to the Creature by reason of his Divine and Infinite Perfections yet sometimes he does most clearly manifest himself to special Favourites Such a view of Jesus is more to be valued than the whole World and a Soul that once has been vouchsafed this Grace esteems her self so rich that she looks upon all Worldly things as dross and dung adhering close to Jesus as her only Treasure We can never know what admirable effects this sight of Jesus works in a Soul but by experience 'T is true there 's a great deal of difference between the Visions of Jesus A Soul in the beginning of a Spiritual Life is taken up with the sensible part of the Sacred Humanity but in the progress she receives such pure discoveries of Jesus that she only relishes Jesus wholly Divinized but cannot express what she sees in him Souls thus dispos'd receive much of the Spirit of Jesus Christ and his humane states seem to them so elevated and transcendent that they find nothing more beautiful more precious or more charming to win their Affections O that we did know Jesus as he ought to be known O that we could see the inestimable riches the rare and precious Treasures contained in him My fourth Prayer was only to open the eyes of my Soul to see Jesus Christ as we behold any Object with the eyes of our Body to consider it attentively He was pleas'd so to manifest himself to my Soul as my joy was superabundant and I was dead to all things and my self to live in Jesus and love his Beauties I found my self in a manner like a drunken man who is not himself but as a dead man he knows not what he says nor is capable of any business nor can govern himself his drunkenness has possess'd him and made him fit for nothing else Enjoyment for the time it continues has the like effects in a Soul she is then capable of nothing but this enjoyment which is all in all unto her Such Souls are now and then put upon the rack by themselves or their directors fearing least this may savour of idleness They think it may be better to suffer and more profitable to help their Neighbour and that self-love may creep into this enjoyment This sometimes brings a Soul to quit this enjoyment so as to put her self out of the way where God has plac'd her except some particular Grace preserve her in the performance of Gods will A Soul capable of this Grace must be in a state of great Purity disengaged and dead to all things Exteriour and Interiour indifferent to all Divine Ordinations whatever and be in a perfect disposition to adhere to God and his Divine operations in what manner he pleases O how great is our humane weakness O how often do we resist the Designs of God by our Imperfections Seventh Day Jesus our Exemplar and Guide IN my first Prayer I consider'd how Jesus was a scandal to the Jews and to the Gentiles foolishness that the same Person should be God and Man and die upon a Cross to save the World the belief of this seem'd a pure extravagancy to poor blinded Creatures I consider'd also how a true Supernatural Christian Life seems but as folly to Worldly-wise-men who cannot understand it being elevated above sense and humane reason wholly Spiritual and repugnant to the Inclinations of depriv'd nature Alas how the practice of the true Christian Life is rare To love crosses and contempts and poverty and humiliations and to rejoyce in Persecutions by preferring the Maxims of Faith before humane Wisdom is a proceeding very extraordinary to Carnal men who in a manner are wholly guided by their Senses If Grace do not open the eyes of Faith in us our poor Soul has no director but Reason which casts a mist before us to hinder our sight from Christian Verities The same Grace also discover'd to me that as Jesus lived a Suffering Life we likewise should conform to his states and be content with crosses and contrarieties pains and deprivations and be pleas'd with whatsoever comes from the hand of God The poor retir'd abject Life I resolv'd to lead answerable to my Vocation without doubt will be accounted a folly by Worldly men and may sometimes so seem to my self But take courage O my Soul a lively Faith will discover the deceit by a Light from Heaven The Proceedings of a Spiritual Life are not govern'd by Humane Arguments but Divine and Supereminent Motives For we must suffer to do Penance and we must love Poverty to advance pure Love which despises all things to have God in possession In my second Prayer I clearly saw that Jesus took no pleasure without necessity to prescribe such rough Maxims to us He knew that the corruption of our Nature was great our inclination to things of this World was continual and therefore to live in his Love requir'd constant Mortifications and Contradictions to Nature And the degree of Love is according to the degree of Self-denyal and Mortification Jesus hath founded Christian Perfection upon two high Mountains Calvary and Tabor on the one we learn Perfection and Mortification on the other the Perfection of Prayer and on both the Sublimity of Divine Love To follow Jesus Christ upon one or th' other mountain we must die to the World and never let the love of the Cross and Mortification to languish in us Solitude must be dear to such Souls and they must take no imploy but what God will have them least interessing themselves and spending their Spirits in other matters they make themselves unable to follow vigorously the works of their Vocation My Soul would it not be a sad thing to quit thy Creator
Sin but even from Passions and occasions thereof and whatever may induce us to evil In a word we detest Sin above all things detestable in our selves and others also interiourly bewailing the Unhappiness of our mortal Condition in which we so often offend God and are in danger to lose him I knew a virtuous Soul whom God had made so sensible of the horrour of Sin because injurious to God that she perfectly detested it with ardent Desires never more to commit any She did with continual Prayers and Tears implore the Divine Majesty to preserve her from it offering her self to suffer any thing yea the pains of Purgatory or Hell it felf if it was necessary rather than commit a Mortal Sin to which no evil can be compared She understood that Sin is a Rebellion against God and injurious to him but that all the Pains we can endure either in Time or Eternity are but evil to the Creature and all Creatures being as nothing in comparison of God all the evil of Punishment they are capable to endure has less Malignity in it than one only Sin And seeing the Divine Justice has not ordained the pains of Purgatory or Hell but for the Chastisement of Sin committed she desired they might work in her this good effect as to serve her for a Remedy against Sin so as never to commit it saying to God Lord you justly punish Sinners because they have offended your infinite Majesty punish me in mercy that I may not offend you In others the pain is the Punishment of Sin preceding and the greater is the Sin the greater is the Punishment but dear God of your great Goodness grant me this singular Favour that the pain in me may prevent Sin so that the Chastisements which I should have deserved for my Offences if I had committed them I may suffer before hand not because I have committed them but to preserve me from offending your sacred Majesty By this means O my God your Interests are secured you shall receive neither Offence nor Injury the Creature only shall suffer something But what is all the Interest of the Creature in comparison of yours If the pains be too few which such Sin would have merited inflict on me what Punishments You please provided you preserve me from falling into Sin so injurious to You. This so noble and generous a Resolution could not proceed but from the pure Love of God and from the perfect hatred of Sin and in both respects must needs be in a high degree well pleasing to God and we may very well believe that God bestowed on such a Soul very wonderful Graces CHAP. II. To keep an even pace with Grace neither out-running it nor following too slowly IT is our Unhappiness that either we do not act answerably to the full power of what Grace we have received by the repugnance of our Sensuality or by our natural Levity and Inconstancy of Mind or on the contrary when the Heart is heated with the Fervour of Devotion we will force Grace beyond her strength by undertaking extraordinary Exercises and Austerities prejudicial to us 'T is our duty to shun both these Extremities to correspond faithfully to what the Grace we have can do and also to be humbled in consideration of that little we have received offering up to God those motions of natural Love which carries us to things extraordinary above our Abilities Not but that we ought daily to desire the Increase of Grace and Divine Love in us but it must be with Humility and Resignation without Interiour Disquiet well knowing that we can never advance in Grace by the strength of nature What hinders us from fully corresponding to the motions of Grace are some secret attaches to Creatures our affections being not throughly purifyed For when Grace acts in a Soul wholly dis-ingaged from the world she gives up her self fully to God's Conduct and moves towards him as her Center with more violence than a stone held in the Air being let go would descend to the Earth I say with more violence for God being a Center of Infinite Goodness has more powerful attractions than the finite Center of the Earth The nearer any thing approaches to its Center the faster it moves so the Soul hastens to the greatest Union with God by how much the more she approaches to him with inflamed Affections But we must have a care not to advance too speedily to the elevated states of Perfection whether as yet the Grace we have does not invite us Oftentimes we would rather regulate our selves by the Graces we see in others than our own for observing them do wonderfully well in perfecting themselves and profiting others we will needs follow their example and this may sooner proceed from a natural desire of our own excellence and esteem then from a motion of Grace and to please God And so we put our selves out of the way going rather back than advancing we will be following their wayes and not walk in that where Grace has put us It concerns us therefore every one to observe and follow faithfully the Attracts of that Gracethey have received for what have we to do with the Graces of others which make a glorious show and to which we have not a Call from God The Beauty of Christianity is not in the Outside for the greatest Saints seem sometimes more despicable than others but interiour Graces Omnis Gloria Filiae Regis ab Intus which working wonderfully in them makes them in love with Contempt and Poverty with Pains and Sufferings whereby they become like to Jesus poor despised suffering and forsaken Behold herein the Essence Life and Heart of Christianity For 't is in his Suffering Saints that God works the most admirable effects of Grace and he takes the greatest delights in them because they are so many Copies of his Well-beloved Son in small Characters But here lyes the mystery that a Soul suffer her self to be in the hand of Grace as soft Wax plyable to her Impressions and faithful to follow her Directions To be faithful I say to be faithful to the Motions of Grace is all in all in a Spiritual Life CHAP. III. That a Soul must wholly give her self up to God IT highly concerns us to keep close to the Conduct of God's holy Spirit and not confide in our own abilities which may quite destroy the work of God in us What can a poor creature do if the Soveraign Creatour work not his will in us All the Solicitudes and Contrivances on our part are not so prevalent as to abandon our selves wholly to God by whose Grace we are what we are and without which we are nothing but Frailty and Infirmity It is best with us when we have in our Prospect and Affection God alone and his good Pleasure being content with whatever he pleases to give either for Soul or Body In this state a Soul goes on very well in all affairs for an indifferency to
the good pleasure of God does not at all hinder her Co-operation whether it be to act with God in Prayer or exteriour Imployments God by this means works in the Soul a disposition to enjoy or suffer of Action or Contemplation of Darkness or Light as he pleases For then she desires to do nothing of her self but to follow entirely the Attracts and Motions of God's Holy Spirit A Soul that sets her self a work without an eye to God and her Interiour is imprudent for what she so undertakes is of no value in that she does not the will of God but withdrawing her self from her necessary Dependance endeavours as it were to conduct God when she ought only to be conducted by him If we were sensible of our misery herein we would be afraid of our selves Self-confidence is a thing so formidable and we should discover a continual disorder in all proceedings except in those wherein we have an eye to God and are industrious to conform our selves to his Divine Pleasure When a Soul has fully given up her self to God she receives Interiour Irradiations from Heaven by which she discovers what she ought to do and what God requires of her and so is not disquieted with solicitous Thoughts but walks on securely in the ways of Perfection For this Abandonment preserves this Interiour Light which daily directs her in the Knowledge of God's Will to do her Actions with Interiour Purity As the Light of the Sun guides us in our wayes without which we should take one thing for another so the rayes of Grace discover to us what God would have us do and if the Soul should not be thus enlightned she would wander in the dark and our poor Life go on without the Conduct of God in Mysts of Misery and Infidelity The common Life of Christians is more guided by the Light of Reason than the Light of Grace but those that live by Faith are Interiour Christians CHAP. IV. We ought to make it our Business to be content to Suffer IF we will follow the ways of Virtue in this earthly Pilgrimage we must be content to suffer continual Mortifications lead what Life we will be it Active or Contemplative In the Active Life spending our selves for the good of others if we be not in a Disposition to sacrifice our own Wills with a Spirit of Resignation while we would profit others we shall endammage our selves for we must expect to meet with Crosses and Occasions of Patience for which if we be not prepared we shall without doubt fall into many Imperfections Yea in the Sweets of Contemplation we shall find some Thorns as well as Roses to put us in mind of our Suffering Condition In a word the Union with Jesus Christ crucisyed is the perfectest Union we can attain in this Life When Jesus Christ conducts his Saints to Mount Tabor they in a manner are out of themselves being ravished with the Glimmerings of Glory but upon Mount Calvary they receive the best Impressions of Perfection 'T is requisite a Soul should have a view of the Beauties of Jesus before she see and feel the Horrours of the Cross lest she should be scandalized at this last state and her Palate should not relish the bitterness thereof Spiritual Infants stand in as much need of Milk as Corporal Our heavenly Father does not take his Children from the Breast 'till he sees them strong enough and capable of more solid Food He lays the first Dispositions of a Spiritual Life in the Sweetness of Enjoyments but he compleats it in the Bitterness of Sufferings That which makes us profest Christians is Faith and Baptism but the Cross and Sufferings make us practical Christians and the greater they are being born with the Christian Patience and Resignation they advance us higher in Perfection We ought not then to fear Crosses and Sufferings but rather embrace them with Peace and Affection And we must hold this for a Maxim that we advance in the way to Perfection according to the Degree of Mortification and Self-denyal which we cannot attain but by a Suffering Life Let us therefore above all things abandon our selves to the Divine Providence desiring nothing but by the pure will of God without troubling our selves at what happens to us 'T is no just matter of Astonishment to see in this world the wayes of the Just beset with Thorns and Bryars of Affliction and the wicked to abound with worldly Comforts in Beds of Roses Those who will have no portion in the Joys of Heaven have refreshments in this world and find here their Paradice to recompense that little good they have done among those many evils they have committed But such who are preserved from Eternal Pains have their Souls purifyed in this Life in the Furnace of Affliction from those stains they have contracted which else would somewhat darken the Beauty of their virtuous Actions Thrice happy are they who by the Sufferings of this Momentany Life have just Cause to hope they shall never suffer everlasting Burnings CHAP. V. To renounce our selves wholly and strive against our proper Inclinations WHosoever designs to be wholly for God must likewise endeavour to curb the Motions of his Interiour and Exteriour Senses which have not their Rise from Grace but Nature yea all such like Thoughts and Desires and the Objects of our own Will which we in Prayer mingle with those Communications God is pleased to work in us by heavenly Visits But above all we must have a care to desire nothing without an entire Resignation and Submission to the Will of God which ought to be the sole Rule of all our Actions and Intentions Hence it proceeds that we have no Will to serve God but as he pleases according to the manner and designs of his Providence and when God will vouchsafe us nothing extraordinary in a Spiritual Life we sit down content with Peace and Humility For we are dead to our Selves to be living only to God's good Pleasure which is the Soul of our Souls our Riches our Grandeur our Perfection and Blessedness To renounce our own Will and all means which our own Industry presents as most excellent and give our selves up purely to the Divine Guidance conduces very much to Perfection To renounce our Judgement and follow the sentiment of others as better in works of Piety so as voluntarily to act but with Dependance is a means to mortify by degrees our own Will and Affections If we be content that our Defects should be made known we shall glorifie God with the Love of Abjection We get no good but rather hurt by our Defects concealed but we may draw much good by their Manifestation if so be they work our greater Humiliation We ought to remain in a Disposition of Self-denyal and Humility in the Presence of God and desire nothing but the pure Ordination of his Will who can make us poor or rich in Grace as he pleases A Soul that receives excellent