How affable and courteous was he and yet how severe againâ—â— sin What meekness and humility in his own cause and yet what courage and magnanimity in the cause of God shone in him How much holy fear and self-jealousie and yet how much Christian boldness and confidence was he possessed with What an inflexible and strong bent of heart for God against sin seemed he to have and yet how flexible and complying with others for their good was he He did not as some take Christ to ease himself of his work or to secure his lusts His Sincerity but to kill them and to quicken him to dutie His peace of Conscience was maintaned not by peace but war with Sin it was not only from but also in God He had not only form of Christ in his life and Picture of him in his fancy but also the Image of Union with and love for Christ in his heart He affected not so much to entangle his thoughts in disputes about the controversies of Religion as to get the power of it stamped on his soul His faith did not lye level with worldly Interest but oppositie thereto He climbed not as some â—o the top of an high profession without â—â—â—ing a deep foundation in self-denial He borrowed not as to many the Mask of Relâ—gâ—on to conceal a rotten heart but was unsâ—tisfied in his heart-inquiries after grace till he arrived to such a full measure thereof as is 〈◊〉 â—ttainable by any hypocrite Hâ—â— dâ—yly progress in mortification of sin seemed very remarkable His mortification and conspicuous He knew full well that one reigning lust would darken and harden his heart yea bring all into captivity and therefore durst not gratify any lust in the least He was content to give up his lusts to death for Christ who gave up his soul to death for him He thought it not much to part with a beloved sin for a beloved Saviour Yea he seemed to take more pleasure in subduing his unlawful desires then others do in the fulfilling of them And lest his flesh should impose on his more noble part he innured himself to many bodily severities and deprived himself of such natural refreshments which others too much indulge themselves in Yet did he not content himself with external mortification but maintained a daily conflict with the whole body of sin in corrupt nature yea he would oft blame himself much for spiritual sins as Infidelity pride c. Which others could least blame him for His Crucifixion to the world was not less visible His Crucifixion to the world He seemed to have acquired a great indifference of Spirit for things indifferent to give perishing things but perishing affections As our blessed Lord gave his Heaven for him so he thought it not much to give his earth for his Lord He could not part with Christ for any worldly good and therefore was willing to part with all for Christ The believing views he had of future Glories darkned the world glories to him so that he seemed to admire nothing but approching glory or what related thereto Poverty in Christs way was greater riches to him then a flourishing state in the ways of sin He knew how to abound in his wants by contentedly wanting what the Lord thought not fit for him and thereby crucifying his desires he made the Cross of Christ easy to him His desires were low and therefore his spirit high above the frowns and smiles of this lower world He seemed better pleased in his mean condition then worldlings are in the highest His mind was too great to put a great value on the nothings of this life He brought his natural desires into a narrow compass and thence gained a great inlargement of Spirit By his long sufferings he gained a great dexterity and skill in bearing the Cross By starving sin His Art in bearing the Cross and crucifying his heart to the world he took out the stings of his sufferings He knew that the Divine will was more Eligible then his own and therefore he endeavoured to conform unto it as well by passive as active obedience He knew he could not glorifie God more then by being content that Gods Glory should gain by his private losses He durst not make sin a shelter against sufferings or bear false witness against God by repining under the Cross He was not so well pleased with sin as to prefer it before sufferings Or so ill-pleased with sufferings as to fly from them when called thereto He innured himself to the yoke of Christ and so gained the Art of bearing his Cross His Conscience continued under a lively sense of sin and that made him dead and in a measure senseless as to suffering His Will was so far broken as that it could chearfully bend and submit to the Cross yea welcome crosses when in Gods way When God brought him into any affliction or suffering he waited there till God brought him out He knew himself to be nothing and that made him bear any thing from God with contentment And by knowing his own vileness he learnt to justify God in every cross His spirit was generous and noble like that of the Eagle which is not clamorous when it wants food He studied passive obedience as well as active to be well-pleased with what God did as well as to do what was well-pleasing to God He had a fit disposition for the Cross which made that easy to him which seemed into llerable to others As he durst not make men Lords of his faith so neither of his happiness by doting on their smiles or fearing their frowns but as worldly men content themselves with the world without God so he endeavoured to content himself with God without the World He had his present wants supplied by ordinary or extraordinary means and therefore conceived lit his duty to trust God for the future He knew he had more of the creature than he deserved and therefore was not anxious about having more He was much taken up about the weighty things of Eternity and therefore little concerned about these lower things He had many generous and noble dispositions but no one appeared more illustrious and visible in him His zeal for God after his conversion than zeal for his Masters service and the good of Souls Oh! what a rare and excellent Quality is a publick Spirit for God And how much was this holy man invested herewith How little did his flamin zeal care to live when the honour of his great Lord seemed to bleed and die What a meek and patient Spirit had he as to injury done unto himself and yet how impatient and zealous was he as to injury done unto his Lord How modest and backward was he in his own cause and yet how magnanimous and forward in the cause of God How little was it in the power of the greatest men to frown him out of duty or flatter him into Sin What a masculine courage
had he with a fixed resolution not to displease God to please men Yea how much vigor and strength did his zeal gain by opposition He seemed indeed naturally to have a Heroick spirit But how much did Grace transform this natural quality into a Divine zeal How much of divine flame and how little of wildfire or carnal wrath was there in his zele Notwithstanding his ardent zeal for God yet was he of a very peaceable and quiet spirit His Catholick Charity He did not Salamander-like delight to live in the fire of contention but was of an uniting healing spirit He was not only a Patient but also an Agent in seeking after peace He judged our Church divisions one of our greatest plagues He had a Catholick universal charity and love for all and albeit he hated the vices of wicked men yet he loved their persons But he had a particular affection for all Saints and that as Saints making their graces not their opinions the measure of his love His spirit and principles were so peaceable as that he desired to avoid all needless disputes that might breed strife But when he was called to dispute or confer with those of different judgements he evidenced much modesty and meekness arguing not for glory and victory but to inquire into truth Wherein he affirmed nothing but what he endeavoured to prove out of the Scriptures And when he could not fully comply with other mens perswasions yet he would not impose his own on them as the rule of their faith or communion And although he could forbear and bear with all for their good yet could he not bear with sin in any His dexterity in Admonitions and reproofs but was a severe Admonitor and Reprover thereof Yea his very presence was a powerful and perswasive Admonition to such as he reproved for there was so much gravity and sweetness mixed in his countenance that one word from him would oft effect more then many from some others Especially by his holy conversation exemplifying what he urged on others from the word of God he much convinced such as were defective and subdued their wills to the will of God I my self once heard him in the presence of several Ministers sharply reproving the sin of Ministers in mispending their time whiles together in frothy or unprofitable conference Which reproof he managed with so much majesty and yet with so much humility and submission confirming all that he pressed from the word of God that I must confess I could not but conclude that there was much of God in his so seasonable Admonition and Reproof Neither did his severity extend to the sins of others only His vigilance and heart examens but also to his own He was a curious observer of his own spirit its ends intentions inclinations motions risings and fallings as to Sin or Grace He always kept a vigilant eye on his heart and every night made particular reflexions on the passages of the day past with a strict examen how it had been spent what his conversation had been towards others and how he had demeaned himself in his private duties towards God He examined not only what he had done but also from what principles he had done it and thus by the knowledge of what he had done he came the better to know what he was to do by studdying well the book of his own heart and life he became a good student and proficient in the mystery of godliness and of sin He was a man of great observation and of nothing more than of his own spirit its various vicissitudes turnings and windings c. Thus he came to have an intimate and deep acquaintance with his own heart and an experimental sense of the holy spirits working in him Hence also he came to know what sins he had to confess and humble himself for what mercies to bless God or petition for what burdens to grone under At some times he found himself under great deadnesses and distractions at other times under sweet inspiration of the holy Spirit and enlargements Sometimes he sighed under sinking despondences black unbelief and hase fears at other times he was on the wing of faith and full of courage He had his stated times for private and family duties Faith and prayr were his chief refuse in his troubles His private duties And indeed he seemed to drive a great trade with Heaven by prayer wherein he was very powerful and prevalent He had a very strngling wrestling spirit in Prayer bottomed on a deep sense of his own need large desires and lively workings of faith What strength he gained by prayer he lost not by neglects after prayer but improved for God His Spirit seemed unsatisfied in duties till he had met with God or something from God Sometimes he was dull and indisposed in the beginning of a duty but before he came off he oft found great Assistances when he found weaknesses the Lord gave in unexpected supplies of strength when he was cast down under any perplexing disturbing fears or difficulties from within or without he had recourse to his Bible and thence received frequently such sweet and encouraging promises set home by the spirit of God as afforded abundance of refreshing relief to him His Family Exercises and Discipline deserve a particular Remark He gave no Toleration to any known sin His Family Discipline or omission of Duty He was very diligent in preventing or reproving the Prophanation of the Lords day even to idle words Neither was he less careful for the pious Education and Instruction of those under his domestick charge Every morning and evening for the most part he read and expounded a part of the Scriptures sung a Psalm and prayed with them Every Friday night he examined their proficience in the Assemblies lesser Catechisme explaining some part thereof to them Every Lords day at night besides other Duties he repeated the substance of what was delivered that day in the Sermons Preached And after such Exercises he examined his Servants and such Children as were capable what they remembred not suffering any to live under his Charge who would not give account of their Faith When he did not read a Chapter his course was to examine and instruct his Servants concerning the Fundamentals of Religion which was a great means for the improving their knowledge Besides his private Retirements and Family-duties he had his set times every day to spend with his Wife in private prayer Neither was this his religious care for instructing Souls confined onely to his Family His holy Conserence but extended unto others He was invested with a singular Gist of Personal Conference which Talent he employed for the good of Souls being ready to take yea to seek all convenient opportun ties to treat with them about their eternal state He was much in pressing men to Holiness He was wont to propose questions to those he conversed with and desired the like of them
world O! What a blessed Omen would this be that God is on healing tearms of Grace with England I must confess in the place where I now labour God is travelling forth with a measure of the greatness of his might Some most stubborn and obstinate wretches attend the means and our meetings grow the Spirit of Jesus hath made some to fall under him and our hopes of greater things are increasing if the Lord for our unfruitful walkings blast not all My Dear Brother I need not tell you how sweet it is to be tabernacling in Mount Tabor by close believing Meditation to see your Lord and mine and on those views to rejoyce with joy unspeakable and full of Glory and by the stme also to mourn over unkindness with bitterness as for an only Son Your received anointings lead me and keep you there Only I must tell you Sermons much watered in the Closet and steep'd in fervent Prayer will ordinarily prove most quickening to the dead and consolating to the Saints and a heart dropt upon by such views will lay a more then usual tincture of Heaven upon the mouth which will have a choice influence in a Teachers treating with Souls I must commit you to Israels Keeper in whom you may repute me Your unfeigned well-wishing friend and engaged Brother T. T. Jan. 28. 1669. My dear Brother I See you have taken up a more than ordinary care for me the ground of which I suppose is somewhat of God you conjecture is upon me In which I beg the Lord you may not be mistaken If I should confess the truth to my bosom Brother my Heart is such a confused disorder'd piece its Principles and ends lying so viel'd and hidden from my self that most frequently I am mine own stranger I know not who or what I am whether God or self swayes me Only this stayes me that were the eye of my heart levelled as directly and in as much singleness at the glory of God in Christ as I would have it be in my greatest strangeness to him and my self I think I should be sincere This therefore being much my state I may admire at the touch of Gods Finger on your heart to turn it to such a worm I had no sooner the Letter but I saw much of God by it and in such providences through the Redeemer I desire to hold some communion with him I shall hint at a footstep of the blessed walks of God to me so far as your Lines may require Seven or eight years since I found amongst the writings of a deceased friend two Bonds belonging to a poor Ophan on the finding of which I sent word to the Orphan of them who came to the House where I dwelt and gave order that one of her Debtors should be sued for the calling in her Money Accordingly that Bond was sent to a Lawyer and the Debtor sued But it being out of the way of my imployment to attend such a business I acquainted the Orphan I should not follow that affair but leave it to a Kinsman of hers to manage it and accordingly regarded it no further he promising to shew all fidelity for the bringing in from the Debtor the Money to the Orphan In process of time not having heard of the business either from the Orphan or her Kinsman and therefore concluding all matters were regularly managed and in equity between them As I was alone in my imprisonment I had a thought that stuck upon me I must needs enquire what issue of the Orphans affair in her Kinsmans hand had attained and on an inquiry found out that the Orphan was abused and damnified 14 l. by this Kinsman who yet had so saved himself that no Justice could be gaind against him On which I was under many disputes with my self whether I were not obliged to take care the Orphan might be satisfied I did propose the case but was informed in the Negative However because I entrusted it in his hand I could not so clearly discharge my self and therefore lately borrowed the money and paid it to the Orphan resolving notwithstanding my present condition rather to be the sufferer my self then that the fatherless Child by the others injustice should be injured and was determined to eye the Lord for a way to discharge that money so borrowed Within a very little time I had borrowed the 14. l. yours came and within a little season from another and now you write me of more which makes up the sum I have been somewhat moved under the graciousness of God the Lord make me fruitful in my seasonable improvement of this dispensation I should be very glad might I see you at Crediton in my passing up to the Assizes Many things I have to say which I must silence till God open a door for a more satisfactory converse You are minded by us here and I desire to live on your thoughts when nearest God I am yours in unfeignedness T. T. May 11. 1670. My Dear Brother YOurs of the 16th of April I received not till the 7th instant Your long silence I confess much amazed me but now in your lines and the reason by them given me of the suspence in those paper-enter courses I rejoyce Since my last lines to you according to my engagement by recognizance I had an opportunity to spend some time with your friends at Crediton Chimly and Southmoulton and am sorry where there is an appearance of so encouraging an harvest so little stomack and spirit is found in adjacent Labourers It hath been long my thought that God hath yet a great controversie with the Non-conforming though the best part of the English Ministry among whom how few are there who naturally care for the state of the poor perishing Countrey and what their hands find to do do it with their might This with that levity of Spirit unholiness of Lip Reigning Selfishness Earthly mindedness Formality Lukewarmness in Worship Security c. visible upon the professing body doth as apparently and dangerously threaten England as the more branded Dâ—baucheries I could heartily wish had the wise Lord seen it fit your station had been fixed in your native Soil that you might be to the quickning of Brethren and professing Saints and also ready at hand to succour those poor corners which seem to cry as the Macedonian in the vision Come over and help us But you know your proper gift and I presume will carefully study and answer your calls I did contract friendship in that journey with Mr. Stucley whom I find of another Spirit in whose society my Soul was refreshed And Mr. Flavel of Dartmouth I find a well tempered Man whom else I met with to rejoyce in of my Brethren I scarce know any The times are now very black and clouds are gathering in every quarter what the issue of our storms may be a little time will much indicate I wish I could say Nubecula cito transibit To give you my fears I think