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himself_o by_o enlarge_n of_o it_o with_o that_o very_a design_n the_o first_o thing_n he_o do_v there_o in_o the_o morning_n be_v to_o read_v some_o part_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n with_o the_o best_a annotation_n he_o can_v procure_v upon_o they_o and_o the_o like_a in_o the_o evening_n and_o in_o read_v they_o over_o again_o and_o again_o regular_o and_o in_o course_n he_o find_v much_o advantage_n he_o still_o perceive_v such_o a_o majesty_n such_o a_o mystery_n such_o a_o depth_n in_o they_o that_o he_o be_v never_o weary_a of_o fathom_v though_o he_o can_v never_o reach_v the_o bottom_n he_o desire_v to_o walk_v by_o that_o rule_n to_o be_v guide_v by_o that_o light_n and_o to_o derive_v his_o support_v encouragement_n and_o hope_n from_o thence_o i_o hardly_o ever_o know_v one_o more_o careful_a of_o his_o time_n and_o all_o that_o know_v he_o must_v say_v the_o same_o he_o will_v tarry_v but_o a_o very_a little_a while_n in_o any_o company_n where_o he_o may_v not_o do_v or_o receive_v good_n he_o be_v so_o punctual_a in_o his_o time_n of_o retirement_n for_o secret_a prayer_n about_o six_o in_o the_o summer_n and_o five_o in_o the_o winter_n unless_o he_o be_v hear_v a_o sermon_n at_o that_o hour_n that_o he_o will_v usual_o make_v some_o excuse_n or_o other_o to_o break_v away_o from_o company_n though_o he_o return_v to_o they_o in_o half_a a_o hour_n his_o communion_n with_o god_n there_o be_v discover_v by_o the_o frame_n of_o his_o spirit_n when_o he_o come_v from_o thence_o it_o be_v there_o we_o speak_v our_o mind_n and_o heart_n more_o free_o to_o god_n and_o there_o he_o communicate_v of_o his_o gracious_a influence_n in_o a_o special_a manner_n to_o we_o he_o find_v more_o satisfaction_n and_o comfort_n in_o one_o such_o hour_n by_o pour_v out_o his_o soul_n to_o god_n alone_o than_o in_o the_o most_o witty_a cheerful_a conversation_n of_o such_o who_o discourse_n administer_v no_o grace_n or_o profit_n to_o the_o hearer_n when_o he_o have_v be_v desire_v to_o go_v to_o bed_n soon_o or_o as_o soon_o as_o other_o he_o will_v often_o say_v he_o will_v do_v as_o other_o if_o he_o be_v not_o certain_a that_o he_o must_v die_v but_o our_o sleep_a time_n he_o say_v be_v lose_v as_o to_o any_o spiritual_a good_a any_o further_a than_o it_o fit_v we_o for_o our_o duty_n by_o preserve_a health_n the_o last_o thing_n he_o do_v every_o evening_n be_v to_o go_v into_o his_o closet_n and_o with_o prayer_n and_o self-examination_n to_o close_v the_o day_n once_o a_o week_n viz._n every_o friday_n night_n as_o a_o little_a before_o his_o death_n he_o say_v it_o have_v be_v his_o constant_a custom_n to_o review_v the_o mercy_n of_o his_o whole_a life_n thereby_o to_o promote_v his_o humility_n and_o thankfulness_n to_o keep_v up_o his_o hope_n in_o god_n and_o quicken_v his_o cheerful_a diligent_a obedience_n to_o he_o his_o care_n and_o concern_v for_o the_o soul_n of_o those_o under_o his_o charge_n especial_o his_o child_n be_v very_o extraordinary_a and_o attend_v with_o good_a success_n as_o several_a of_o his_o relation_n live_v and_o die_v have_v own_v of_o his_o usefulness_n to_o one_o relate_v to_o he_o you_o have_v some_o account_n in_o the_o narrative_a of_o her_o conversion_n to_o god_n which_o be_v here_o annex_v his_o counsel_n and_o example_n make_v those_o in_o his_o family_n begin_v to_o love_v religion_n for_o his_o sake_n which_o afterward_o they_o do_v for_o its_o own_o god_n do_v often_o bring_v we_o to_o he_o by_o instrument_n of_o nature_n and_o affection_n and_o give_v the_o influence_n of_o his_o spirit_n to_o carry_v on_o those_o good_a beginning_n he_o usual_o ask_v the_o assembly_n catechism_n in_o his_o family_n twice_o every_o week_n and_o encourage_v inferior_n by_o reward_n to_o learn_v it_o and_o to_o get_v some_o select_a
a_o title_n to_o heaven_n or_o that_o we_o have_v not_o but_o pass_v not_o this_o sentence_n with_o self-flattery_n nor_o from_o melancholy_a terror_n and_o fear_n one_a not_o with_o self-flattery_n alas_o what_o will_v it_o profit_v we_o to_o think_v ourselves_o the_o child_n of_o god_n when_o we_o visible_o express_v the_o power_n of_o sin_n and_o satan_n in_o our_o life_n two_o on_o the_o other_o side_n pass_v not_o this_o sentence_n from_o melancholy_a unbelief_n terror_n and_o fear_n as_o the_o carnal_a man_n fail_v the_o former_a way_n so_o the_o tempt_a christian_n sometime_o fail_v this_o way_n in_o this_o case_n run_v we_o over_o our_o evidence_n again_o and_o again_o and_o proceed_v we_o from_o those_o that_o be_v more_o difficult_a to_o those_o that_o be_v more_o easy_a one_o sign_n perhaps_o may_v be_v more_o easy_o perceive_v than_o another_o and_o if_o we_o can_v but_o discover_v some_o yea_o if_o but_o one_o we_o may_v assure_o gather_v all_o the_o rest_n be_v there_o come_v then_o pass_v on_o now_o to_o sentence_n o_o but_o implore_v the_o spirit_n be_v assistance_n now_o if_o ever_o let_v we_o desire_v he_o to_o shine_v on_o our_o grace_n and_o then_o speak_v ground_o and_o deliberate_o and_o true_o as_o we_o find_v according_a to_o our_o very_a conscience_n do_v not_o conclude_v as_o some_o do_v i_o be_o a_o good_a christian_a or_o as_o other_o do_v i_o be_o a_o reprobate_n or_o a_o hypocrite_n and_o shall_v be_v damn_v when_o we_o have_v no_o ground_n for_o what_o we_o say_v but_o our_o own_o fancy_n or_o hope_n or_o fear_n let_v not_o our_o judgement_n be_v any_o way_n biased_a or_o bribe_v from_o sentence_v aright_o then_o he_o further_o advise_v that_o we_o shall_v labour_v to_o get_v our_o heart_n kind_o affect_v with_o its_o discover_a condition_n according_a to_o the_o sentence_n pass_v on_o it_o do_v not_o think_v enough_o to_o know_v but_o labour_v to_o feel_v what_o god_n have_v make_v we_o to_o see_v if_o we_o find_v ourselves_o renew_v and_o sanctify_v indeed_o o_o let_v we_o get_v this_o warm_a and_o close_o to_o our_o heart_n bethink_v ourselves_o what_o a_o bless_a estate_n have_v the_o lord_n bring_v we_o into_o to_o be_v his_o child_n his_o friend_n to_o be_v pardon_v justify_v and_o entitle_v to_o life_n why_o what_o be_v it_o we_o now_o need_v to_o fear_v but_o sin_v against_o he_o come_v war_n or_o plague_n or_o sickness_n or_o death_n we_o be_v sure_o they_o can_v but_o thrust_v we_o into_o heaven_n thus_o let_v we_o follow_v these_o meditation_n till_o they_o have_v leave_v their_o impression_n on_o our_o heart_n then_o he_o advise_v to_o record_v this_o sentence_n so_o pass_v to_o write_v it_o down_o which_o now_o i_o desire_v to_o do_v this_o 18_o of_o august_n 1676._o have_v search_v and_o try_v my_o heart_n yesterday_o and_o at_o this_o time_n also_o after_o i_o hope_v earneft_v and_o hearty_a prayer_n to_o god_n for_o the_o help_n of_o his_o spirit_n to_o try_v my_o state_n and_o condition_n i_o do_v fall_v again_o to_o the_o work_n of_o self-trial_n by_o the_o forementioned_a particular_n and_o though_o i_o can_v full_o declare_v a_o positive_a answer_n to_o every_o question_n yet_o if_o my_o heart_n do_v not_o very_o much_o deceive_v i_o i_o can_v to_o most_o of_o they_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v i_o beg_v of_o god_n i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v it_o be_v some_o comfort_n to_o i_o where_o i_o can_v so_o full_o answer_v some_o of_o they_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v true_o say_v i_o most_o hearty_o desire_v it_o may_v be_v so_o with_o i_o and_o though_o grace_n be_v very_o weak_a in_o i_o which_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v humble_v and_o mourn_v for_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o deny_v god_n work_n in_o i_o i_o must_v not_o deny_v the_o day_n of_o small-thing_n but_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n must_v own_v sure_o there_o be_v something_o of_o good_a wrought_v in_o i_o by_o his_o holy_a spirit_n and_o my_o comfort_n be_v christ_n will_v not_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n nor_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n mat._n 12._o 20._o i_o be_o not_o now_o affect_v with_o the_o discovery_n of_o my_o condition_n as_o i_o shall_v and_o do_v not_o find_v at_o present_a inward_a comfort_n in_o my_o soul_n i_o be_o and_o have_v be_v much_o under_o the_o withdrawing_n of_o god_n for_o a_o time_n by_o reason_n of_o my_o apostasy_n and_o backslide_n from_o he_o and_o not_o walk_v close_o with_o he_o yet_o i_o desire_v i_o hope_v to_o lament_v after_o the_o lord_n and_o not_o content_v myself_o till_o i_o again_o meet_v with_o he_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o grace_n to_o wait_v on_o he_o in_o a_o way_n of_o duty_n and_o to_o act_v grace_n though_o i_o want_v comfort_n o_o if_o i_o be_o but_o sincere_a and_o wait_v still_o upon_o god_n who_o can_v tell_v but_o he_o may_v return_v with_o comfort_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o maintain_v faith_n and_o hop_v through_o christ_n though_o i_o sit_v in_o darkness_n and_o see_v no_o light_n yet_o to_o trust_v in_o the_o lord_n and_o stay_v myself_o on_o my_o god_n isa_n 50._o 10._o the_o lord_n help_v i_o now_o to_o walk_v answerable_a to_o the_o great_a thing_n he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o poor_a soul_n i_o desire_v and_o hope_v i_o may_v have_v recourse_n to_o this_o hereafter_o as_o i_o shall_v have_v need_n and_o that_o it_o may_v be_v of_o comfort_n to_o i_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v as_o mr._n ambrose_n advise_v his_o word_n be_v this_o record_n will_v be_v very_o useful_a to_o we_o hereafter_o if_o we_o find_v we_o have_v a_o work_n of_o grace_n in_o we_o what_o a_o help_n will_v it_o be_v against_o the_o next_o temptation_n to_o doubt_v and_o fear_n to_o go_v and_o read_v under_o our_o hand_n this_o record_n may_v we_o not_o think_v if_o at_o such_o a_o time_n i_o find_v the_o truth_n of_o grace_n be_v it_o not_o likely_a to_o be_v now_o the_o same_o and_o these_o doubt_n to_o come_v from_o the_o enemy_n of_o my_o peace_n yet_o trust_v not_o so_o to_o one_o discovery_n as_o to_o try_v no_o more_o especial_o if_o we_o have_v make_v any_o soul_n defection_n from_o christ_n and_o play_v the_o backslider_n see_v then_o that_o we_o renew_v the_o search_n again_o neither_o let_v this_o hinder_v we_o in_o the_o daily_a search_n of_o our_o way_n or_o of_o our_o increase_n in_o grace_n and_o fellowship_n with_o christ_n it_o be_v a_o ill_a sign_n and_o a_o desperate_a vile_a sin_n for_o a_o man_n when_o he_o think_v he_o have_v find_v himself_o gracious_a and_o in_o a_o happy_a state_n to_o let_v down_o his_o watch_n and_o grow_v negligent_a of_o his_o heart_n and_o way_n and_o scarce_o look_v after_o they_o any_o more_o neither_o shall_v we_o give_v over_o in_o discouragement_n if_o we_o can_v at_o once_o or_o twice_o or_o ten_o time_n try_v discover_v our_o case_n but_o follow_v it_o on_o till_o we_o have_v discover_v it_o if_o one_o hour_n or_o day_n will_v not_o do_v take_v another_o if_o one_o minister_n can_v direct_v we_o sufficient_o go_v to_o another_o the_o issue_n will_v answer_v all_o our_o pain_n there_o be_v no_o sit_v down_o discourage_v in_o a_o work_n that_o must_v be_v do_v if_o we_o have_v be_v hypocrite_n or_o ungodly_a person_n all_o our_o life_n yet_o be_v the_o promise_v offer_v to_o we_o by_o christ_n and_o he_o tender_v himself_o to_o we_o to_o be_v our_o lord_n and_o saviour_n neither_o can_v we_o possible_o be_v so_o willing_a to_o accept_v he_o as_o he_o be_v to_o accept_v we_o nothing_o but_o our_o own_o unwillingness_n can_v keep_v our_o soul_n from_o christ_n though_o we_o have_v hitherto_o abuse_v he_o and_o dissemble_v with_o he_o o_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v persuade_v we_o to_o the_o close_a performance_n of_o this_o self-trying_a task_n that_o we_o may_v not_o tremble_v with_o horror_n of_o soul_n when_o the_o judge_n of_o all_o the_o world_n shall_v try_v we_o but_o have_v our_o evidence_n so_o ready_a at_o hand_n and_o be_v so_o able_a to_o prove_v our_o title_n to_o heaven_n that_o the_o thought_n and_o approach_v of_o death_n and_o judgement_n may_v revive_v our_o spirit_n and_o fill_v we_o with_o joy_n and_o not_o apale_fw-la we_o and_o fill_v we_o with_o amazement_n september_n the_o 19_o 1676._o find_v my_o heart_n very_o hard_a and_o dead_a of_o late_a and_o be_v still_o under_o the_o withdrawing_n of_o god_n but_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o hope_v sensible_a of_o it_o and_o desirous_a to_o wait_v upon_o he_o for_o discovery_n of_o his_o love_n and_o favour_n and_o to_o lament_v after_o he_o and_o seek_v he_o in_o his_o ordinance_n for_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v take_v up_o with_o duty_n without_o something_o
will_v go_v mourning_n in_o this_o world_n while_o i_o have_v a_o day_n to_o live_v till_o christ_n shall_v please_v to_o cast_v a_o eye_n of_o grace_n and_o mercy_n on_o i_o nay_o let_v it_o come_v to_o this_o i_o can_v live_v if_o god_n be_v not_o reconcile_v if_o christ_n be_v not_o i_o my_o spirit_n fail_v if_o the_o lord_n do_v not_o relieve_v i_o there_o be_v nothing_o no_o abide_n for_o i_o unless_o he_o speak_v a_o word_n of_o peace_n when_o the_o soul_n be_v bring_v to_o this_o i_o must_v have_v a_o interest_n in_o christ_n or_o nothing_o will_v satisfy_v i_o such_o a_o one_o shall_v find_v acceptance_n therefore_o be_v in_o good_a earnest_n and_o let_v the_o desire_n of_o the_o soul_n rise_v up_o to_o a_o holy_a restlessness_n o_o wretched_a negligence_n that_o we_o can_v let_v the_o great_a concern_v of_o our_o soul_n lie_v at_o hazard_n all_o our_o day_n ten_o question_n to_o ask_v our_o heart_n thus_o mr._n steel_v advise_v we_o shall_v often_o commune_v with_o our_o heart_n i._o what_o have_v i_o be_v if_o now_o i_o be_o change_v i_o be_v a_o wretched_a sinner_n ii_o what_o good_a have_v i_o do_v that_o god_n may_v have_v the_o glory_n and_o i_o the_o comfort_n iii_o how_o have_v i_o do_v it_o iu._n what_o have_v i_o neglect_v the_o slothful_a servant_n be_v condemn_v who_o have_v talent_n but_o do_v no_o good_a with_o they_o what_o duty_n have_v i_o neglect_v and_o how_o many_o opportunity_n of_o do_v good_a omit_v v._o what_o state_n be_o i_o in_o be_o i_o in_o a_o gracious_a or_o sinful_a state_n in_o christ_n or_o in_o my_o sin_n if_o i_o be_o in_o christ_n he_o rule_v if_o in_o sin_n that_o reign_v vi_o what_o frame_n be_o i_o in_o be_o i_o in_o a_o gracious_a or_o worldly_a frame_n of_o heart_n vii_o what_o do_v i_o be_o i_o in_o my_o call_v and_o in_o the_o way_n of_o my_o duty_n be_o i_o now_o do_v the_o will_n of_o god_n viii_o whither_o be_o i_o go_v towards_o heaven_n or_o hell_n every_o moment_n i_o take_v a_o step_n to_o one_o of_o they_o ix_o how_o far_o be_o i_o on_o my_o way_n to_o heaven_n x._o what_o shall_v i_o do_v to_o be_v save_v salvation_n be_v to_o be_v have_v how_o shall_v i_o attain_v it_o his_o covenant_n with_o god_n o_o most_o dreadful_a god_n for_o the_o passion_n of_o thy_o son_n i_o beseech_v thou_o accept_v of_o thy_o poor_a prodigal_n now_o prostrate_v himself_o at_o thy_o door_n i_o have_v fall_v from_o thou_o by_o my_o iniquiry_n and_o be_o by_o nature_n a_o son_n of_o death_n 〈◊〉_d a_o thousand-fold_n more_o the_o child_n of_o hell_n by_o 〈◊〉_d wicked_a practice_n but_o of_o thy_o infinite_a grace_n thou_o have_v promise_v mercy_n to_o i_o in_o christ_n if_o i_o will_v but_o turn_v to_o thou_o with_o all_o my_o heart_n therefore_o upon_o the_o call_v of_o thy_o gospel_n i_o be_o now_o come_v in_o and_o throw_v down_o my_o weapon_n submit_v myself_o to_o thy_o mercy_n and_o because_o thou_o require_v as_o the_o condition_n of_o my_o peace_n with_o thou_o that_o i_o shall_v put_v away_o my_o idol_n and_o be_v at_o defiance_n with_o all_o thy_o enemy_n which_o i_o acknowledge_v i_o have_v wicked_o side_v with_o against_o thou_o i_o here_o from_o the_o bottom_n of_o my_o heart_n renounce_v they_o all_o firm_o covenant_v with_o thou_o not_o to_o allow_v myself_o in_o any_o know_a sin_n but_o to_o use_v conscientious_o all_o the_o mean_n that_o i_o know_v thou_o have_v prescribe_v for_o the_o death_n and_o utter_a destruction_n of_o all_o my_o corruption_n and_o whereas_o i_o have_v former_o inordinate_o and_o idolatrous_o let_v out_o my_o affection_n upon_o the_o world_n i_o do_v here_o resign_v my_o heart_n to_o thou_o that_o make_v it_o humble_o protest_v before_o thy_o glorious_a majesty_n that_o it_o be_v the_o firm_a resolution_n of_o my_o heart_n and_o that_o i_o do_v unfeigned_o desire_v grace_n from_o thou_o that_o when_o thou_o shall_v call_v i_o hereunto_o i_o may_v practice_v this_o my_o resolution_n through_o thy_o assistance_n to_o forsake_v all_o that_o be_v dear_a unto_o i_o in_o this_o world_n rather_o than_o to_o turn_v from_o thou_o to_o the_o way_n of_o sin_n and_o that_o i_o will_v watch_v against_o all_o its_o temptation_n whether_o of_o prosperity_n or_o adversity_n lest_o they_o shall_v withdraw_v my_o heart_n from_o thou_o beseech_v thou_o also_o to_o help_v i_o against_o the_o temptation_n of_o satan_n to_o who_o wicked_a suggestion_n i_o resolve_v by_o thy_o grace_n never_o to_o yield_v myself_o a_o servant_n and_o because_o my_o own_o righteousness_n be_v but_o menstruous_a rag_n i_o renounce_v all_o confidence_n therein_o and_o acknowledge_v that_o i_o be_o of_o myself_o a_o hopeless_a helpless_a undo_v creature_n without_o righteousness_n or_o strength_n and_o for_o as_o much_o as_o thou_o have_v of_o thy_o bottomless_a mercy_n offer_v most_o gracious_o to_o i_o wretched_a sinner_n to_o be_v again_o my_o god_n through_o christ_n if_o i_o will_v accept_v of_o thou_o i_o call_v heaven_n and_o earth_n to_o record_v this_o day_n that_o i_o do_v here_o solemn_o avouch_v thou_o for_o the_o lord_n my_o god_n and_o with_o all_o possible_a veneration_n bow_v the_o neck_n of_o my_o soul_n under_o the_o foot_n of_o thy_o most_o sacred_a majesty_n i_o do_v here_o take_v thou_o the_o lord_n jehovah_n father_n son_n and_o holy_a ghost_n for_o my_o portion_n and_o chief_a good_a and_o do_v give_v up_o myself_o body_n and_o soul_n for_o thy_o servant_n promise_v and_o vow_v to_o serve_v thou_o in_o holiness_n and_o righteousness_n all_o the_o day_n of_o my_o life_n and_o since_o thou_o have_v appoint_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n the_o only_a mean_n of_o come_v unto_o thou_o i_o do_v here_o upon_o the_o bend_a knee_n of_o my_o soul_n accept_v of_o he_o as_o the_o only_a new_a and_o live_a way_n by_o which_o sinner_n may_v have_v access_n to_o thou_o and_o do_v here_o solemn_o join_v myself_o in_o a_o marriage-covenant_n to_o he_o o_o bless_a jesus_n i_o come_v to_o thou_o hungry_a and_o hardly_o bestead_v poor_a and_o wretched_a and_o miserable_a and_o blind_a and_o naked_a a_o most_o loathsome_a pollute_a wretch_n a_o guilty_a condemn_a malefactor_n unworthy_a for_o ever_o to_o wash_v the_o foot_n of_o the_o servant_n of_o my_o lord_n much_o more_o to_o be_v solemn_o marry_v to_o the_o king_n of_o glory_n but_o since_o such_o be_v thy_o unparalleled_a love_n i_o do_v here_o with_o all_o my_o power_n accept_v thou_o and_o do_v take_v thou_o for_o my_o head_n and_o husband_n for_o better_a for_o worse_o for_o rich_a for_o poor_a for_o all_o time_n and_o condition_n to_o love_v and_o honour_n and_o obey_v thou_o before_o all_o other_o and_o this_o to_o the_o death_n i_o embrace_v thou_o in_o all_o thy_o office_n i_o renounce_v my_o own_o worthiness_n and_o do_v here_o avow_v thou_o for_o the_o lord_n my_o righteousness_n i_o renounce_v my_o own_o wisdom_n and_o do_v here_o take_v thou_o for_o my_o only_a guide_n i_o renounce_v my_o own_o will_n and_o take_v thy_o will_n for_o my_o law_n and_o since_o thou_o have_v tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v suffer_v if_o i_o will_v reign_v i_o do_v here_o covenant_n with_o thou_o to_o take_v my_o lot_n as_o it_o fall_v with_o thou_o and_o by_o thy_o grace_n assist_v to_o run_v all_o hazard_n with_o thou_o very_o purpose_v that_o neither_o life_n nor_o death_n shall_v part_v between_o thou_o and_o i_o and_o because_o thou_o have_v be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o thy_o holy_a law_n as_o the_o rule_n of_o my_o life_n and_o the_o way_n in_o which_o i_o shall_v walk_v to_o thy_o kingdom_n i_o do_v here_o willing_o put_v my_o neck_n under_o thy_o yoke_n and_o set_v my_o shoulder_n to_o thy_o burden_n and_o subscribe_v to_o all_o thy_o law_n as_o holy_a just_a and_o good_a i_o solemn_o take_v they_o as_o the_o rule_n of_o my_o word_n thought_n and_o action_n promise_v that_o though_o my_o flesh_n contradict_v and_o rebel_v yet_o i_o will_v endeavour_v to_o order_n and_o govern_v my_o whole_a life_n according_a to_o thy_o direction_n and_o will_v not_o allow_v myself_o in_o the_o neglect_n of_o any_o thing_n that_o i_o know_v to_o be_v my_o duty_n only_o because_o through_o the_o frailty_n of_o my_o flesh_n i_o be_o subject_a to_o many_o fail_n i_o be_o bold_a humble_o to_o protest_v that_o unallow_v miscarriage_n contrary_a to_o the_o settle_a bent_n and_o resolution_n of_o my_o heart_n shall_v not_o make_v void_a this_o covenant_n for_o so_o thou_o have_v say_v now_o almighty_a god_n searcher_n of_o all_o heart_n thou_o know_v that_o i_o make_v this_o covenant_n with_o thou_o this_o day_n without_o any_o know_a guile_n or_o reservation_n beseech_v thou_o that_o if_o thou_o espie_v any_o flaw_n
or_o falsehood_n therein_o thou_o will_v discover_v it_o to_o i_o and_o help_v i_o to_o do_v it_o aright_o and_o now_o glory_n be_v to_o thou_o o_o god_n the_o father_n who_o i_o shall_v be_v bold_a from_o this_o day_n forward_o to_o look_v upon_o as_o my_o god_n and_o father_n that_o ever_o thou_o shall_v find_v out_o such_o a_o way_n for_o the_o recovery_n of_o undo_v sinner_n glory_n be_v to_o thou_o o_o god_n the_o son_n who_o have_v love_v i_o and_o wash_v i_o from_o my_o sin_n in_o thy_o own_o blood_n and_o be_v now_o become_v my_o saviour_n and_o redeemer_n glory_n be_v to_o thou_o o_o god_n the_o holy_a ghost_n who_o by_o the_o finger_n of_o thy_o almighty_a power_n have_v turn_v about_o my_o heart_n from_o sin_n to_o god_n o_o dreadful_a jehovah_n the_o lord_n god_n omnipotent_a father_n son_n and_o holy_a ghost_n thou_o be_v now_o become_v my_o covenant-friend_n and_o i_o through_o thy_o infinite_a grace_n be_o become_v thy_o covenant-servant_n amen_o so_o be_v it_o and_o the_o covenant_n which_o i_o have_v make_v on_o earth_n let_v it_o be_v ratify_v in_o heaven_n april_n 11._o 1667._o henry_n gearing_n a_o pathetical_a meditation_n on_o the_o passion_n of_o christ_n take_v out_o of_o mr._n wadsworth_n remain_n 8vo_fw-la abridge_v and_o transcribe_v for_o his_o own_o use_n upon_o sacramental_a occasion_n a_o way_n all_o trifle_a worldly_a business_n i_o must_v go_v see_v my_o bleed_a lord_n come_v now_o my_o soul_n look_v yonder_o thou_o will_v soon_o arrive_v at_o bloody_a golgotha_n where_o thou_o shall_v see_v thy_o bleed_a die_a saviour_n to_o sigh_v and_o linger_v out_o a_o die_a life_n on_o the_o cross_n in_o love_n for_o thou_o this_o this_o might_n o_o my_o soul_n have_v be_v thy_o day_n in_o which_o thou_o may_v have_v drink_v the_o bitter_a cup_n of_o the_o fierce_a anger_n of_o god_n but_o look_v yonder_o there_o he_o go_v that_o must_v drink_v up_o the_o dregs_o and_o all_o for_o thou_o but_o come_v my_o soul_n draw_v up_o a_o little_a near_o stand_v here_o and_o thou_o will_v see_v he_o pass_o look_v there_o he_o go_v with_o a_o train_n of_o virgin_n follow_v but_o see_v how_o cruel_o these_o barbarous_a jew_n do_v use_v he_o they_o make_v he_o bear_v his_o cross_n himself_o see_v how_o they_o laugh_v and_o scoff_n and_o wag_v their_o head_n as_o if_o he_o be_v their_o may-game_n look_v see_v my_o soul_n come_v tell_v i_o what_o thou_o see_v o_o i_o can_v sorrow_n tie_v my_o tongue_n i_o can_v speak_v i_o see_v a_o troop_n of_o virgin_n follow_v he_o their_o weep_a eye_n their_o blubber_a lip_n their_o sigh_n and_o throbbing_n speak_v they_o mourner_n i_o see_v my_o lord_n look_v towards_o they_o and_o kind_o 〈◊〉_d their_o love_a sorrow_n weep_v not_o for_o i_o ah_o can_v they_o do_v less_o than_o weep_v to_o see_v thy_o innocent_a self_n among_o a_o herd_n of_o tiger_n but_o whither_o o_o whither_o o_o you_o blind_a jew_n be_v you_o drag_v this_o my_o lord_n my_o spirit_n begin_v to_o faint_v i_o now_o can_v look_v no_o long_o my_o heart_n now_o begin_v to_o swell_v with_o grief_n it_o must_v now_o break_v or_o i_o must_v vent_v it_o at_o my_o eye_n in_o stream_n look_v see_v the_o hammer_n and_o nail_n the_o hammer_n lift_v up_o to_o strike_v bloody_a man_n thou_o dare_v not_o strike_v sure_a sure_o thou_o do_v not_o know_v who_o hand_n and_o foot_n thou_o be_v now_o pierce_a it_o be_v the_o prince_n and_o saviour_n of_o the_o world_n but_o look_v see_v it_o be_v do_v the_o nail_n be_v drive_v to_o the_o head_n see_v how_o the_o blood_n run_v trickle_v down_o his_o hand_n and_o foot_n and_o see_v how_o harden_a heart_n be_v laugh_v at_o it_o o_o silly_a foolish_a blind_a man_n what_o laugh_v yet_o see_v this_o very_a christ_n you_o now_o mock_v shall_v be_v your_o judge_n but_o come_v again_o look_v and_o see_v my_o soul_n what_o be_v become_v of_o thy_o nail_v and_o crucify_a lord_n ah_o i_o he_o be_v not_o quite_o dead_a look_v how_o he_o gasp_n and_o pant_n for_o life_n o_o how_o pale_a and_o wan_a do_v i_o see_v his_o cheek_n methinks_v he_o shall_v be_v dead_a for_o see_v how_o weak_a his_o neck_n be_v grow_v that_o it_o be_v not_o able_a to_o support_v his_o head_n that_o lie_v a_o die_a on_o his_o bleed_a breast_n what_o yet_o not_o dead_a see_v how_o he_o shake_v and_o stir_v his_o die_a limb_n what_o gasp_n and_o groan_n do_v i_o hear_v he_o fetch_v hark_v hark_v he_o speak_v o_o let_v i_o catch_v the_o last_o breath_n of_o my_o die_a saviour_n what_o say_v my_o lord_n what_o my_o god_n my_o god_n why_o have_v thou_o forsake_v i_o he_o have_v be_v all_o this_o while_n a_o drink_n up_o the_o cup_n his_o father_n give_v he_o the_o bitter_a sour_a cup_n of_o his_o father_n wrath_n which_o i_o and_o all_o the_o world_n have_v else_o drink_v but_o must_v he_o endure_v all_o this_o must_v he_o be_v crown_v with_o thorn_n and_o sweat_n and_o bleed_v and_o die_v and_o all_o for_o i_o this_o i_o stand_v amaze_v at_o but_o there_o be_v necessity_n for_o all_o this_o either_o he_o must_v be_v thus_o deal_v with_o or_o else_o my_o sin_n can_v not_o be_v pardon_v he_o must_v drink_v up_o this_o bitter_a cup_n with_o all_o its_o dregs_o or_o else_o i_o must_v have_v drink_v it_o up_o myself_o it_o be_v i_o that_o sin_v and_o must_v have_v suffer_v this_o curse_a proud_a and_o earthly_a heart_n of_o i_o rebel_v and_o break_v the_o law_n and_o shall_v have_v suffer_v and_o bear_v the_o punishment_n have_v not_o he_o step_v in_o and_o bear_v the_o stroke_n off_o from_o i_o i_o have_v be_v now_o burn_v in_o everlasting_a flame_n and_o be_v linger_a out_o this_o time_n in_o torment_n which_o i_o be_o now_o spend_v in_o the_o sweet_a thought_n of_o my_o escape_n have_v not_o the_o prophet_n say_v all_o this_o in_o isa_n 53._o these_o wound_n stripe_n bruise_n he_o bear_v for_o thou_o o_o amaze_a love_n and_o grace_n the_o son_n of_o god_n love_v i_o better_o than_o his_o life_n be_v ever_o love_n like_v to_o his_o love_n he_o be_v a_o stranger_n to_o i_o why_o do_v he_o not_o let_v i_o die_v but_o he_o love_v i_o i_o be_v a_o pollute_a sinner_n methinks_v he_o shall_v have_v loathe_v i_o but_o he_o do_v wash_v i_o and_o make_v i_o clean_o again_o but_o why_o do_v he_o love_v a_o enemy_n or_o how_o can_v he_o do_v it_o i_o know_v not_o why_o o_o inexpressible_a love_n o_o love_n past_o thought_n he_o love_v because_o he_o will_v love_v what_o ail_v my_o heart_n i_o can_v find_v it_o stir_v what!_o dead_a under_o the_o revive_a thought_n of_o thy_o dear_a redeemer_n arise_v shake_v up_o thyself_o and_o look_v about_o thou_o thou_o do_v not_o sure_o see_v thy_o mercy_n come_v away_o o_o come_v away_o lift_v up_o thy_o drowsy_a head_n i_o will_v make_v thou_o look_v and_o love_n and_o ever_o i_o leave_v thou_o confess_v thou_o love_v he_o suppose_v now_o for_o thy_o sin_n the_o vengeance_n of_o god_n be_v just_a seize_v upon_o thou_o turn_v thou_o into_o hell_n and_o christ_n come_v and_o reveal_v himself_o to_o thou_o sinner_n i_o love_v thou_o i_o say_v thou_o shall_v not_o die_v come_v feel_v my_o heart_n how_o it_o beat_v towards_o thou_o do_v thou_o not_o see_v i_o have_v leave_v my_o throne_n and_o be_o come_v down_o to_o the_o bar_n where_o thou_o stand_v condemn_v but_o why_o do_v thou_o weep_v come_v let_v i_o wipe_v thy_o eye_n and_o bind_v up_o thy_o bleed_a and_o despair_a heart_n i_o tell_v thou_o thou_o shall_v not_o die_v if_o heaven_n will_v have_v blood_n it_o shall_v have_v i_o so_o it_o will_v but_o spare_v thou_o now_o the_o soul_n have_v not_o a_o word_n to_o speak_v against_o this_o love_n thy_o son_n o_o god_n have_v offer_v satisfaction_n and_o thou_o have_v accept_v it_o thou_o o_o my_o saviour_n have_v lay_v down_o thy_o life_n for_o i_o and_o thy_o father_n and_o my_o father_n be_v well_o please_v with_o it_o blood_n be_v pay_v justice_n be_v satisfy_v heaven_n door_n be_v widen_v thy_o arm_n open_v to_o receive_v i_o nothing_o be_v want_v but_o my_o heart_n make_v it_o such_o as_o thou_o will_v have_v it_o and_o then_o take_v it_o to_o thyself_o come_v my_o soul_n the_o father_n thou_o see_v be_v willing_a and_o the_o son_n be_v willing_a give_v but_o thy_o consent_n and_o he_o be_v thou_o for_o ever_o fear_v not_o thy_o hardness_n deadness_n blindness_n loathsomeness_n all_o these_o can_v hinder_v if_o thou_o be_v but_o willing_a what_o stick_v thou_o at_o what_o do_v ail_v half_n of_o this_o ado_n will_v fetch_v a_o heart_n for_o the_o world_n a_o little_a mire_n and_o dirt_n and_o be_v not_o
christ_n far_o better_a the_o dress_n for_o the_o sacrament_n lord_n where_o be_o i_o what!_o all_o the_o child_n of_o the_o bride-chamber_n up_o and_o dress_v and_o i_o slumber_v in_o my_o bed_n tell_v i_o you_o fair_o what_o make_v you_o up_o so_o early_o alas_o our_o lord_n be_v up_o before_o we_o all_o he_o call_v we_o up_o by_o break-of-day_n and_o wonder_v that_o we_o be_v not_o trim_v our_o lamp_n know_v with_o who_o we_o be_v to_o feast_v this_o day_n well_o then_o i_o will_v rise_v up_o too_o o_o what_o a_o show_n do_v these_o bright_a and_o glitter_a saint_n make_v in_o my_o eye_n sure_o they_o do_v not_o thus_o dress_v themselves_o it_o be_v my_o father_n make_v they_o thus_o prepare_v to_o entertain_v his_o son_n but_o where_o be_v my_o clothes_n now_o for_o the_o fair_a sweet_a robe_n of_o thought_n and_o wish_n that_o can_v be_v find_v o_o how_o naked_a be_o i_o but_o where_o be_v my_o silken_a golden_a twist_n of_o faith_n to_o hang_v the_o jewel_n of_o joy_n and_o love_n and_o humility_n upon_o i_o be_o never_o dress_v till_o they_o be_v on_o o_o where_o be_v they_o i_o see_v they_o by_o i_o but_o just_a now_o i_o lay_v they_o by_o my_o heart_n before_o i_o go_v to_o bed_n but_o ah_o i_o fear_v this_o envious_a world_n have_v with_o her_o vanity_n steal_v they_o away_o or_o the_o envious_a devil_n or_o unbelief_n have_v be_v ravel_v or_o snarl_v of_o they_o that_o now_o i_o be_o as_o far_o to_o seek_v as_o ever_o whither_o o_o whither_o shall_v i_o go_v to_o find_v they_o out_o now_o will_v the_o bridegroom_n come_v and_o i_o be_o not_o ready_a i_o can_v dare_v not_o go_v to_o day_n now_o will_v my_o lord_n be_v angry_a and_o ask_v i_o why_o i_o come_v not_o and_o i_o have_v no_o answer_n to_o make_v he_o and_o if_o i_o go_v undress_v he_o will_v ask_v i_o where_o be_v my_o wedding-garment_n and_o than_o i_o shall_v be_v speechless_a ah_o foolish_a simple_a heart_n that_o thou_o shall_v let_v these_o thought_n of_o earth_n so_o entangle_v themselves_o with_o thy_o heavenly_a meditation_n how_o to_o get_v they_o loose_v again_o thou_o know_v not_o this_o by_o care_n thou_o may_v have_v prevent_v now_o what_o help_n lord_n i_o have_v sin_v o_o holy_a father_n pardon_v this_o time_n and_o i_o will_v take_v more_o heed_n o_o come_v and_o untie_v my_o thought_n from_o this_o earth_n and_o come_v and_o dress_v i_o up_o as_o best_o please_v thou_o come_v be_v not_o discourage_v o_o my_o soul_n let_v but_o thy_o attire_n of_o grace_n be_v whole_a that_o be_v sincere_a and_o thy_o god_n and_o saviour_n will_v accept_v thou_o though_o thy_o garment_n be_v not_o so_o much_o perfume_v with_o heaven_n as_o thy_o brethren_n be_v thy_o lord_n know_v all_o have_v not_o talent_n alike_o and_o where_o he_o give_v but_o little_a he_o expect_v but_o little_a thou_o have_v a_o honest_a willing_a serious_a heart_n that_o think_v it_o do_v despise_v and_o trample_v under_o foot_n the_o near_a dear_a pleasure_n profit_n and_o glory_n in_o the_o world_n compare_v with_o he_o that_o give_v himself_o to_o death_n for_o thou_o and_o have_v rather_o anger_v all_o the_o world_n than_o he_o by_o sin_v against_o he_o in_o the_o least_o if_o this_o he_o true_a fear_v not_o thou_o have_v thy_o wedding-garment_n on_o thou_o be_v well_o clad_v as_o mean_v soever_o as_o it_o be_v it_o be_v such_o a_o one_o as_o heaven_n give_v thou_o and_o such_o a_o one_o as_o thy_o dear_a redeemer_n can_v and_o will_v embrace_v thou_o in_o the_o presence-chamber_n fear_v not_o o_o my_o soul_n i_o charge_v thou_o do_v not_o faint_a let_v not_o thy_o weakness_n and_o the_o poverty_n of_o thy_o grace_n discourage_v thou_o see_v how_o thy_o lord_n draw_v nigh_o o_o he_o come_v and_o it_o be_v but_o to_o welcome_v thou_o and_o fall_v about_o thy_o neck_n and_o kiss_v thou_o and_o bid_v thou_o a_o kind_n welcome_o to_o thy_o bleed_a lord_n the_o bread_n welcome_o fair_a take_v and_o eat_v it_o be_v the_o sweet_a dainty_n dear_a morsel_n heaven_n can_v afford_v thou_o welcome_o my_o dear_a to_o the_o table_n of_o thy_o lord_n welcome_o a_o thousand_o time_n i_o bid_v thou_o yea_o welcomer_n than_o thou_o own_o heart_n can_v wish_v take_v eat_v this_o morsel_n it_o cost_v my_o life_n it_o be_v a_o portion_n thy_o father_n send_v unto_o thou_o by_o i_o and_o bid_v i_o remember_v thou_o of_o his_o love_n to_o thou_o he_o bid_v thou_o remember_v a_o father_n love_n i_o a_o saviour_n he_o have_v a_o heart_n to_o give_v thou_o and_o so_o have_v i_o take_v this_o in_o earnest_n of_o they_o both_o in_o one_o take_v free_o if_o thou_o be_v not_o welcome_a i_o will_v have_v tell_v thou_o i_o will_v have_v ask_v thou_o for_o thy_o wedding-garment_n tell_v i_o o_o tell_v i_o do_v thou_o not_o love_v i_o i_o know_v thou_o do_v and_o will_v not_o thou_o take_v the_o cross_n and_o follow_v i_o i_o know_v thou_o will_v i_o hear_v thou_o and_o have_v compassion_n on_o thy_o groan_n i_o know_v thou_o well_o enough_o thou_o be_v i_o and_o i_o be_o thou_o take_v it_o i_o charge_v thou_o eat_v it_o as_o thou_o love_v i_o and_o while_o thou_o feed_v remember_v the_o love_n of_o thy_o dear_a redeemer_n the_o wine_n come_v my_o dear_a i_o have_v drink_v and_o thou_o shall_v pledge_v i_o i_o have_v broach_v my_o side_n and_o draw_v it_o on_o purpose_n for_o thou_o this_o be_v a_o wine_n of_o my_o own_o make_n when_o i_o tread_v the_o winepress_n of_o my_o father_n wrath_n it_o be_v my_o blood_n take_v and_o drink_v it_o sin_n be_v the_o cause_n of_o my_o wound_n but_o to_o thy_o soul_n it_o shall_v prove_v heal_v i_o die_v and_o bleed_v to_o make_v this_o banquet_n for_o thou_o i_o have_v bring_v thou_o into_o my_o wine-cellar_n and_o my_o banner_n over_o thou_o shall_v be_v love_n fear_v not_o take_v and_o drink_v thou_o have_v a_o ulcer_n in_o thy_o heart_n and_o this_o shall_v cure_v it_o thy_o spirit_n be_v faint_a this_o shall_v revive_v thou_o drink_v i_o charge_v thou_o drink_v on_o thy_o love_n and_o loyalty_n to_o i_o i_o command_v thou_o as_o thou_o will_v have_v thy_o heart_n to_o mend_v thy_o wound_n to_o be_v cure_v thy_o spirit_n to_o revive_v thy_o fear_n to_o scatter_v thy_o soul_n to_o love_n and_o obey_v i_o take_v o_o take_v this_o cup_n into_o thy_o hand_n taste_v it_o and_o praise_v my_o name_n memorable_a say_n and_o passage_n collect_v and_o transcribe_v for_o his_o own_o use_n these_o be_v some_o among_o other_o what_o we_o be_v afraid_a to_o do_v before_o man_n we_o shall_v be_v afraid_a to_o think_v before_o god_n because_o our_o secret_a thought_n be_v as_o obvious_a to_o the_o eye_n of_o god_n as_o our_o action_n to_o the_o eye_n of_o men._n god_n show_v more_o mercy_n in_o save_v some_o when_o he_o may_v have_v condemn_v all_o than_o he_o do_v justice_n in_o leave_v some_o to_o perish_v when_o he_o may_v have_v save_v none_o great_a virtue_n without_o sincerity_n of_o heart_n be_v reject_v when_o great_a infirmity_n without_o hypocrisy_n be_v pardon_v a_o good_a intention_n can_v make_v a_o bad_a action_n good_a though_o a_o ill_a intention_n may_v make_v a_o action_n in_o itself_o good_a to_o be_v evil_a he_o who_o presume_v to_o sin_n in_o hope_n of_o repentance_n shall_v be_v sure_a to_o repent_v because_o he_o presume_v they_o who_o presume_v most_o in_o a_o time_n of_o prosperity_n be_v most_o apt_a to_o despair_v in_o adversity_n repent_v one_o day_n before_o thou_o die_v be_v good_a counsel_n i_o know_v not_o when_o that_o day_n will_v be_v therefore_o i_o will_v repent_v to_o day_n lest_o it_o shall_v be_v too_o late_o to_o morrow_n he_o that_o delay_v his_o repentance_n one_o day_n have_v another_o day_n more_o to_o repent_v of_o and_o one_o day_n less_o to_o do_v it_o in_o god_n who_o join_v the_o end_n and_o means_n together_o do_v accomplish_v all_o his_o purpose_n of_o good_a to_o we_o by_o work_v in_o we_o desire_n and_o endeavour_n suitable_a to_o those_o purpose_n better_o go_v to_o heaven_n by_o the_o gate_n of_o hell_n than_o to_o hell_n by_o the_o gate_n of_o heaven_n mourning_n to_o the_o heavenly_a glory_n than_o laugh_v to_o the_o place_n of_o torment_n one_o may_v suffer_v and_o not_o sin_n but_o if_o he_o sin_v he_o shall_v be_v sure_a to_o suffer_v herod_n may_v have_v keep_v his_o oath_n and_o not_o have_v cut_v off_o the_o baptist_n head_n he_o only_o promise_v to_o grant_v what_o she_o ask_v to_o the_o half_a of_o his_o kingdom_n whereas_o the_o prophet_n head_n be_v more_o worth_a than_o the_o whole_a such_o be_v the_o infinite_a extent_n and_o value_n of_o our_o saviour_n merit_n that_o
sin_n especial_o of_o lie_v and_o steal_v and_o play_v upon_o the_o sabbath-day_n i_o delight_v to_o read_v the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o good_a book_n to_o other_o but_o i_o do_v not_o apply_v it_o to_o myself_o as_o when_o i_o read_v that_o scripture_n that_o except_o we_o repent_v we_o shall_v all_o perish_v except_o we_o be_v bear_v again_o we_o can_v see_v the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n that_o the_o wicked_a shall_v be_v turn_v into_o hell_n etc._n etc._n i_o think_v these_o do_v not_o concern_v i_o because_o i_o be_v guilty_a of_o no_o gross_a sin_n i_o reckon_v my_o condition_n be_v good_a and_o i_o be_v ready_a to_o pity_v other_o but_o i_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o the_o corruption_n and_o defilement_n of_o my_o nature_n i_o do_v not_o see_v the_o need_n of_o a_o change_n i_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o my_o undo_a condition_n without_o christ_n i_o see_v not_o his_o excellency_n nor_o have_v any_o desire_n after_o he_o i_o know_v not_o upon_o what_o term_n i_o must_v take_v he_o if_o i_o will_v be_v save_v as_o to_o the_o outward_a duty_n of_o religion_n i_o live_v in_o the_o performance_n of_o many_o of_o they_o but_o as_o for_o the_o more_o inward_a and_o spiritual_a duty_n of_o christianity_n such_o as_o self-examination_n meditation_n self-denial_n mourn_v for_o sin_n and_o watch_v over_o my_o thought_n word_n and_o action_n strict_a observation_n of_o the_o lord_n day_n etc._n etc._n to_o these_o i_o be_v altogether_o a_o stranger_n thus_o i_o go_v on_o in_o rebellion_n against_o god_n have_v a_o form_n of_o godliness_n but_o deny_v the_o power_n and_o if_o god_n have_v then_o cut_v i_o off_o in_o my_o unregeneracy_n certain_o hellfire_n must_v have_v be_v my_o portion_n he_o may_v have_v swear_v in_o his_o wrath_n that_o i_o shall_v never_o enter_v into_o his_o rest_n o_o the_o wonderful_a patience_n and_o forbearance_n of_o the_o lord_n towards_o such_o a_o sinful_a creature_n it_o be_v a_o miracle_n of_o mercy_n i_o be_o yet_o on_o this_o side_n the_o grave_a and_o hell_n it_o be_v of_o the_o lord_n mercy_n that_o i_o be_o spare_v so_o long_o and_o that_o he_o give_v i_o space_n to_o repent_v that_o he_o shall_v afford_v i_o the_o mean_n of_o grace_n and_o send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o strive_v with_o i_o and_o give_v i_o many_o conviction_n and_o all_o to_o reclaim_v i_o and_o bring_v i_o home_o to_o himself_o and_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o give_v i_o space_n to_o repent_v but_o a_o heart_n to_o repent_v that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o stand_v wait_v and_o knock_v at_o the_o door_n of_o my_o heart_n so_o many_o year_n call_v on_o i_o to_o repent_v but_o that_o he_o shall_v give_v i_o the_o grace_n of_o repentance_n this_o be_v undeserved_a love_n and_o distinguish_a mercy_n for_o i_o be_v dead_a in_o trespass_n and_o sin_n and_o have_v nothing_o but_o my_o misery_n to_o move_v his_o compassion_n i_o walk_v according_a to_o the_o course_n of_o this_o world_n i_o be_v insensible_a of_o my_o danger_n though_o ready_a to_o drop_v into_o hell_n every_o moment_n and_o i_o shall_v certain_o have_v perish_v have_v not_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o open_v my_o eye_n and_o to_o pluck_v i_o as_o a_o firebrand_n out_o of_o the_o burn_a and_o set_v i_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n for_o which_o i_o can_v never_o sufficient_o adore_v and_o praise_v his_o glorious_a grace_n in_o christ_n to_o i_o a_o vile_a sinful_a creature_n great_a be_v his_o mercy_n towards_o i_o for_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n from_o the_o low_a hell_n which_o make_v i_o say_v with_o david_n come_v and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v the_o lord_n and_o i_o will_v declare_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n and_o the_o way_n and_o means_n whereby_o he_o be_v please_v to_o work_v upon_o my_o heart_n the_o manner_n of_o my_o conversion_n which_o i_o hope_n be_v true_a and_o real_a be_v as_o follow_v it_o please_v the_o lord_n by_o a_o sad_a providence_n viz._n the_o sickness_n at_o london_n to_o bring_v my_o uncle_n gearing_n and_o his_o family_n from_o thence_o to_o my_o father_n house_n where_o they_o continue_v about_o half_a a_o year_n my_o uncle_n be_v a_o good_a man_n i_o can_v not_o but_o take_v notice_n of_o his_o strict_a and_o circumspect_a walk_v and_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o think_v sure_o the_o way_n that_o i_o be_o in_o will_v never_o bring_v i_o to_o heaven_n i_o think_v i_o must_v live_v another_o manner_n of_o life_n if_o ever_o i_o will_v be_v save_v i_o have_v many_o conviction_n but_o there_o i_o stay_v but_o go_v no_o further_o i_o keep_v on_o in_o my_o former_a careless_a course_n when_o it_o please_v god_n to_o put_v a_o stop_n to_o the_o plague_n at_o london_n my_o uncle_n return_v with_o his_o family_n and_o i_o go_v with_o he_o and_o continue_v at_o his_o house_n about_o two_o month_n in_o which_o time_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o follow_v i_o with_o new_a conviction_n partly_o by_o the_o good_a example_n of_o my_o uncle_n partly_o by_o many_o excellent_a sermon_n which_o i_o hear_v when_o i_o be_v there_o so_o that_o i_o begin_v in_o good_a earnest_n to_o look_v after_o the_o salvation_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o say_v with_o the_o gaoler_n what_o must_v i_o do_v to_o be_v save_v i_o begin_v to_o be_v very_o desirous_a to_o hear_v the_o word_n i_o take_v all_o opportunity_n to_o hear_v and_o give_v attention_n to_o what_o be_v preach_v after_o another_o manner_n than_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v and_o labour_v to_o make_v application_n of_o it_o to_o myself_o i_o hear_v mr._n vincent_n preach_v upon_o heb._n 12._o 14._o follow_v holiness_n without_o which_o no_o man_n shall_v see_v the_o lord_n urge_v the_o necessity_n of_o it_o as_o the_o only_a way_n to_o heaven_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v therewith_o and_o begin_v to_o think_v i_o must_v set_v about_o the_o work_n of_o a_o thorough_a repentance_n i_o begin_v to_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o original_a corruption_n and_o that_o i_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o thousand_o of_o actual_a sin_n those_o which_o before_o i_o count_v small_a i_o now_o look_v upon_o as_o great_a and_o upon_o myself_o by_o reason_n of_o sin_n to_o be_v in_o a_o lamentable_a condition_n i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o get_v out_o of_o this_o sinful_a miserable_a state_n and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o there_o be_v no_o name_n under_o heaven_n by_o which_o i_o can_v be_v save_v but_o only_o by_o jesus_n christ_n i_o think_v if_o i_o can_v have_v a_o interest_n in_o he_o and_o his_o favour_n i_o shall_v be_v save_v but_o i_o fear_v god_n will_v not_o thus_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o because_o i_o have_v go_v on_o so_o long_o in_o sin_n i_o hear_v a_o excellent_a sermon_n upon_o mat._n 11._o 28._o come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o be_v weary_a and_o heavy_a load_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_v prove_v first_o that_o sin_n be_v a_o burden_n and_o second_o that_o burden_a sinner_n be_v invite_v to_o come_v to_o christ_n and_o then_o that_o those_o that_o come_v to_o he_o shall_v find_v rest_n for_o their_o soul_n this_o be_v a_o suitable_a word_n to_o my_o soul_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v in_o the_o hear_n of_o in_o for_o i_o feel_v sin_n to_o be_v a_o burden_n no_o my_o conscience_n and_o i_o will_v fain_o have_v rest_n to_o my_o soul_n i_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o want_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o of_o the_o absolute_a necessity_n to_o be_v interest_v in_o he_o i_o begin_v to_o see_v his_o worth_n and_o excellency_n as_o the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o altogether_o lovely_a and_o then_o and_o not_o till_o then_o i_o have_v hungering_n and_o thirsting_n after_o he_o so_o that_o i_o can_v say_v none_o but_o christ_n give_v i_o christ_n or_o else_o i_o die_v thus_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n by_o his_o spirit_n to_o work_v upon_o my_o heart_n by_o degree_n to_o open_v my_o eye_n and_o to_o let_v in_o some_o spiritual_a light_n into_o my_o understanding_n which_o be_v dark_a before_o and_o to_o give_v some_o spiritual_a life_n to_o my_o affection_n which_o be_v dead_a before_o but_o o_o the_o enemy_n that_o do_v then_o labour_n to_o hinder_v my_o conversion_n and_o stop_v this_o work_n the_o world_n by_o allurement_n and_o discouragement_n seek_v to_o keep_v i_o off_o from_o christ_n my_o own_o deceitful_a heart_n and_o corrupt_a disposition_n within_o i_o be_v no_o small_a enemy_n and_o hindrance_n to_o the_o work_n of_o grace_n in_o my_o soul_n the_o devil_n the_o great_a adversary_n of_o god_n glory_n and_o our_o happiness_n come_v like_o a_o roar_a lion_n ready_a to_o devour_v i_o so_o that_o i_o
mat._n 7._o 7._o psal_n 30._o 18._o joh._n 16._o 24._o psal_n 84._o 11._o isa_n 40._o 27._o psal_n 27._o 14._o lament_n 3._o 24_o 25_o 26._o psal_n 147._o 11._o psal_n 26._o 3_o 4._o isa_n 50._o 10._o isa_n 41._o 10._o isa_n 43._o 24_o 25._o isa_n 44._o 22._o 1_o joh._n 1._o 9_o 1_o joh._n 2._o 1._o mark_v 1._o 18_o 19_o rom._n 6._o 14._o ezek._n 34._o 6._o psal_n 103._o 8_o 9_o job_n 17._o 9_o prov._n 4._o 18._o phil._n 1._o 6._o joh._n 10._o 7._o rom._n 16._o 20._o heb._n 4._o 15._o these_o promise_n with_o many_o more_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o give_v i_o in_o the_o time_n of_o my_o distress_n and_o trouble_v of_o spirit_n and_o i_o find_v they_o revive_v cordial_n o_o how_o welcome_a be_v a_o promise_n to_o i_o when_o i_o have_v be_v ready_a to_o despair_v and_o to_o give_v up_o all_o for_o lose_v and_o have_v nothing_o to_o support_v i_o then_o do_v i_o take_v the_o bible_n into_o my_o hand_n and_o desire_v god_n to_o direct_v some_o suitable_a promise_n to_o i_o and_o open_v the_o bible_n the_o first_o place_n i_o have_v cast_v my_o eye_n upon_o have_v often_o be_v a_o precious_a and_o suitable_a promise_n and_o have_v be_v set_v home_o with_o such_o power_n as_o wonderful_o to_o comfort_v i_o once_o be_v under_o great_a fear_n and_o terror_n i_o open_v the_o bible_n and_o the_o first_o place_n i_o fix_v my_o eye_n upon_o be_v isa_n 54._o 4._o fear_v not_o for_o thou_o shall_v not_o be_v confound_v nor_o put_v to_o shame_n thou_o shall_v forget_v the_o shame_n of_o thy_o youth_n thy_o maker_n be_v thy_o husband_n the_o lord_n of_o host_n be_v his_o name_n and_o thy_o redeemer_n the_o holy_a one_o of_o israel_n the_o god_n of_o the_o whole_a earth_n shall_v he_o be_v call_v for_o the_o lord_n have_v call_v thou_o as_o a_o woman_n forsake_v and_o grieve_v in_o spirit_n etc._n etc._n for_o a_o small_a moment_n have_v i_o forsake_v thou_o but_o with_o great_a mercy_n will_v i_o gather_v thou_o in_o a_o little_a wrath_n i_o hide_v my_o face_n for_o a_o moment_n but_o with_o everlasting_a kindness_n will_v i_o have_v mercy_n on_o thou_o say_v the_o lord_n thy_o redeemer_n etc._n etc._n i_o be_v wonderful_o affect_v in_o the_o read_n these_o sweet_a promise_n and_o take_v it_o as_o a_o voice_n from_o heaven_n to_o i_o because_o i_o have_v desire_v some_o such_o suitable_a promise_n at_o another_o time_n be_v in_o great_a trouble_n and_o fear_v i_o shall_v never_o hold_v out_o but_o be_v overcome_v by_o sin_n and_o satan_n i_o open_v my_o bible_n and_o the_o first_o place_n i_o fix_v my_o eye_n upon_o be_v isa_n 41._o 10._o fear_v not_o for_o i_o be_o with_o thou_o be_v not_o dismay_v for_o i_o be_o thy_o god_n i_o will_v strengthen_v thou_o yea_o i_o will_v help_v thou_o yea_o will_v uphold_v thou_o with_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o my_o righteousness_n i_o can_v express_v the_o comfort_n i_o receive_v by_o this_o suitable_a and_o seasonable_a promise_n one_o sabbath-day_n night_n be_v still_o follow_v with_o temptation_n full_a of_o unbelieve_a doubt_n and_o fear_n i_o be_v much_o trouble_v about_o it_o that_o i_o who_o have_v receive_v such_o great_a mercy_n shall_v have_v such_o vain_a thought_n and_o be_v so_o full_a of_o unbelief_n notwithstanding_o the_o experience_n i_o have_v of_o god_n goodness_n and_o mercy_n to_o i_o and_o the_o assurance_n i_o have_v before_o of_o his_o love_n i_o be_v tempt_v to_o think_v that_o i_o be_v not_o elect_v and_o that_o therefore_o all_o i_o do_v be_v to_o no_o purpose_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v never_o be_v save_v this_o be_v a_o subtle_a and_o strong_a temptation_n satan_n do_v not_o only_a labour_n to_o drive_v i_o off_o from_o all_o duty_n but_o to_o weaken_v my_o faith_n and_o bring_v i_o to_o despair_n but_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v many_o time_n before_o wonderful_o rescue_v i_o from_o the_o roar_a lion_n will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v foil_v by_o he_o but_o be_v please_v to_o present_v that_o scripture_n to_o my_o eye_n there_o be_v no_o temptation_n have_v take_v you_o but_o such_o as_o be_v common_a to_o man_n and_o god_n be_v faithful_a who_o will_v not_o suffer_v you_o to_o be_v tempt_v above_o what_o you_o be_v able_a but_o will_v with_o the_o temptation_n make_v a_o way_n to_o escape_v that_o you_o may_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v it_o at_o another_o time_n be_v great_o trouble_v with_o unbelief_n that_o place_n in_o the_o revelation_n be_v terrible_a to_o i_o the_o fearful_a and_o unbelieving_a shall_v have_v their_o part_n in_o the_o lake_n that_o burn_v with_o fire_n and_o brimstone_n which_o be_v the_o second_o death_n this_o make_v i_o exceed_o afraid_a i_o think_v if_o the_o fearful_a and_o unbelieve_a shall_v perish_v then_o sure_o i_o shall_v because_o i_o be_v so_o full_a of_o fear_n and_o doubt_n and_o unbelief_n but_o the_o lord_n do_v not_o leave_v i_o in_o this_o great_a streight_n he_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v overwhelm_v with_o sorrow_n but_o quick_o direct_v i_o to_o a_o suitable_a and_o seasonable_a scripture_n that_o be_v as_o comfortable_a as_o the_o other_o be_v terrible_a 2_o tim._n 2._o 13._o if_o we_o believe_v not_o yet_o be_v abide_v faithful_a he_o can_v deny_v himself_o this_o promise_n be_v very_o sweet_a and_o suitable_a to_o my_o present_a condition_n neither_o do_v i_o remember_v there_o be_v such_o a_o place_n before_o these_o and_o many_o of_o the_o forenamed_a promise_n be_v give_v i_o in_o my_o trouble_n and_o distress_n and_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o by_o his_o spirit_n to_o make_v application_n of_o they_o to_o my_o own_o soul_n for_o my_o consolation_n certain_o i_o may_v say_v with_o david_n i_o have_v faint_v unless_o i_o have_v believe_v to_o see_v the_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n in_o the_o land_n of_o the_o live_n the_o sorrow_n of_o death_n do_v compass_v i_o about_o and_o the_o pain_n of_o hell_n get_v hold_v upon_o i_o i_o find_v trouble_n and_o sorrow_n then_o call_v i_o upon_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n o_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o deliver_v my_o soul_n gracious_a be_v the_o lord_n and_o righteous_a yea_o our_o god_n be_v merciful_a i_o be_v bring_v low_a and_o he_o help_v i_o return_v unto_o thy_o rest_n o_o my_o soul_n for_o the_o lord_n have_v deal_v bountiful_o with_o thou_o in_o the_o multitude_n of_o my_o thought_n within_o i_o thy_o comfort_n delight_v my_o soul_n in_o the_o day_n when_o i_o cry_v thou_o answer_v i_o and_o strengthen_v i_o with_o strength_n in_o my_o soul_n blessed_n be_v the_o lord_n because_o he_o have_v hear_v the_o voice_n of_o my_o supplication_n the_o lord_n be_v my_o strength_n and_o my_o song_n my_o heart_n trust_v in_o he_o and_o i_o be_o help_v if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v the_o lord_n who_o have_v be_v on_o my_o side_n when_o satan_n rise_v up_o against_o i_o he_o have_v sure_o swallow_v i_o up_o the_o lord_n have_v call_v i_o out_o of_o darkness_n into_o his_o marvellous_a light_n he_o have_v pluck_v i_o as_o a_o firebrand_n out_o of_o hell_n and_o set_v i_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n so_o that_o i_o may_v say_v again_o and_o again_o great_a be_v his_o mercy_n towards_o i_o for_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n from_o the_o low_a hell_n but_o o_o why_o be_v it_o that_o i_o be_o so_o little_a sensible_a of_o this_o great_a deliverance_n how_o can_v i_o look_v back_o upon_o all_o this_o without_o admire_v the_o free_a grace_n and_o undeserved_a love_n of_o god_n towards_o such_o a_o worthless_a worm_n as_o i_o who_o be_v a_o enemy_n to_o he_o and_o a_o rebel_n against_o he_o and_o have_v nothing_o in_o i_o but_o what_o deserve_a hell_n o_o that_o ever_o the_o lord_n shall_v from_o eternity_n elect_a and_o choose_v i_o to_o salvation_n through_o jesus_n christ_n that_o god_n shall_v pass_v by_o thousand_o and_o let_v they_o alone_o to_o perish_v in_o their_o sin_n and_o cast_v a_o look_v of_o love_n upon_o i_o and_o when_o i_o be_v in_o my_o blood_n say_v unto_o i_o live_v that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o give_v his_o son_n for_o i_o but_o to_o i_o that_o he_o shall_v take_v i_o with_o the_o prodigal_n from_o the_o trough_n and_o with_o the_o beggar_n from_o the_o dunghill_n and_o make_v i_o a_o heir_n of_o glory_n when_o i_o read_v that_o christ_n flock_n be_v but_o a_o little_a flock_n and_o that_o straight_o be_v the_o gate_n and_o narrow_a be_v the_o way_n that_o lead_v to_o life_n and_o few_o there_o be_v that_o find_v it_o i_o can_v but_o wonder_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v in_o that_o number_n and_o because_o i_o can_v sufficient_o admire_v i_o will_v therefore_o adore_v my_o good_a god_n but_o what_o return_v shall_v i_o
now_o make_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o all_o this_o mercy_n of_o myself_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o think_v a_o good_a thought_n it_o be_v unlikely_a than_o i_o shall_v make_v any_o suitable_a return_n i_o have_v nothing_o of_o my_o own_o but_o sin_n and_o that_o be_v god_n enemy_n which_o he_o perfect_o hate_v i_o be_o not_o my_o own_o for_o i_o be_o buy_v with_o a_o price_n therefore_o if_o i_o give_v myself_o to_o he_o it_o be_v but_o that_o which_o be_v his_o own_o before_o yet_o this_o will_v i_o do_v because_o i_o have_v nothing_o else_o to_o give_v i_o will_v give_v my_o soul_n and_o body_n to_o be_v the_o lord_n expect_v acceptance_n only_o for_o the_o sake_n and_o merit_n of_o jesus_n christ_n sure_o god_n require_v nothing_o of_o i_o but_o what_o he_o have_v first_o give_v to_o i_o all_o that_o he_o require_v be_v but_o the_o reflection_n of_o his_o love_n back_o again_o when_o i_o have_v have_v the_o comfort_n of_o it_o o_o what_o thanks_o and_o praise_n shall_v i_o render_v to_o the_o lord_n and_o say_v with_o david_n bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n and_o all_o that_o be_v within_o i_o bless_v his_o holy_a name_n bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n and_o forget_v not_o all_o his_o benefit_n he_o forgive_v all_o thy_o iniquity_n etc._n etc._n thou_o be_v my_o god_n and_o i_o will_v praise_v thou_o thou_o be_v my_o god_n and_o i_o will_v extol_v thou_o o_o give_v thanks_o unto_o the_o lord_n for_o he_o be_v good_a for_o his_o mercy_n endure_v for_o ever_o for_o he_o satisfy_v the_o long_a soul_n and_o fill_v the_o hungry_a with_o good_a thing_n i_o will_v bless_v the_o lord_n at_o all_o time_n and_o his_o praise_n shall_v be_v continual_o in_o my_o mouth_n i_o will_v love_v the_o lord_n because_o he_o have_v hear_v the_o voice_n of_o my_o supplication_n because_o he_o have_v incline_v his_o ear_n unto_o i_o therefore_o will_v i_o call_v upon_o he_o as_o long_o as_o i_o live_v i_o will_v extol_v thou_o my_o god_n o_o king_n i_o will_v bless_v thy_o name_n for_o ever_o and_o ever_o i_o will_v praise_v the_o lord_n while_o i_o live_v i_o will_v sing_v praise_n to_o my_o god_n while_o i_o have_v any_o be_v and_o now_o when_o i_o look_v back_o upon_o this_o i_o can_v but_o rejoice_v in_o the_o lord_n and_o joy_n in_o the_o god_n of_o my_o salvation_n because_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v go_v through_o the_o pang_n of_o the_o new_a birth_n and_o true_o enter_v in_o at_o the_o strait_a gate_n and_o be_o now_o go_v the_o narrow_a way_n that_o lead_v to_o eternal_a life_n which_o i_o hope_v to_o obtain_v through_o the_o merit_n of_o jesus_n christ_n my_o saviour_n and_o again_o when_o i_o reflect_v and_o look_v back_o upon_o all_o these_o thing_n what_o cause_n have_v i_o to_o bewail_v the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n and_o the_o state_n of_o my_o unregeneracy_n which_o be_v spend_v in_o sin_n and_o vanity_n and_o in_o those_o thing_n wherein_o there_o be_v no_o profit_n if_o god_n shall_v remember_v against_o i_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n he_o may_v write_v bitter_a thing_n against_o i_o if_o i_o shall_v live_v the_o age_n of_o methusalah_n and_o spend_v all_o my_o time_n in_o weep_v the_o tear_n of_o my_o life_n to_o come_v be_v not_o sufficient_a to_o bewail_v the_o sin_n of_o my_o life_n past_a o_o what_o do_v i_o lose_v when_o i_o enjoy_v no_o communion_n with_o god_n how_o much_o rich_a might_n i_o have_v be_v in_o grace_n and_o holiness_n and_o i_o set_v out_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n soon_o but_o this_o be_v my_o comfort_n though_o i_o do_v not_o come_v in_o at_o the_o first_o hour_n yet_o i_o do_v not_o stay_v till_o the_o last_o this_o be_v the_o lord_n mercy_n but_o my_o sin_n before_o conversion_n be_v not_o all_o the_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v to_o mourn_v for_o but_o the_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o since_o and_o in_o some_o measure_n my_o sin_n be_v great_a since_o than_o they_o be_v before_o for_o i_o have_v now_o sin_v against_o clear_a light_n dear_a love_n more_o manifestation_n of_o god_n goodness_n more_o experience_n of_o his_o kindness_n more_o resolution_n to_o obey_v he_o great_a obligation_n to_o serve_v he_o so_o that_o i_o be_o ashamed_a to_o think_v how_o unthankful_a my_o walk_n have_v be_v since_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o some_o desire_n to_o serve_v he_o some_o care_n to_o please_v he_o and_o some_o fear_n to_o offend_v he_o when_o he_o be_v please_v first_o to_o lift_v up_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n upon_o i_o and_o speak_v peace_n to_o my_o soul_n after_o so_o many_o temptation_n and_o trouble_v of_o conscience_n then_o i_o do_v not_o only_o serve_v he_o with_o joy_n and_o thankfulness_n but_o also_o with_o life_n and_o vigour_n o_o how_o be_v my_o heart_n affect_v with_o spiritual_a thing_n when_o i_o pray_v it_o be_v with_o sense_n and_o feel_v it_o be_v not_o only_o in_o word_n but_o i_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n before_o the_o lord_n when_o i_o hear_v the_o word_n of_o god_n how_o do_v i_o hear_v as_o for_o my_o life_n and_o perform_v every_o duty_n as_o for_o eternity_n i_o do_v not_o look_v upon_o duty_n mere_o as_o a_o task_n but_o account_v it_o a_o great_a privilege_n to_o draw_v nigh_o to_o god_n in_o the_o way_n of_o his_o appointment_n i_o find_v it_o be_v not_o in_o vain_a to_o seek_v he_o i_o be_v even_o fill_v with_o the_o admiration_n of_o his_o love_n and_o the_o consolation_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o my_o heart_n be_v enlarge_v and_o run_v the_o way_n of_o his_o commandment_n with_o great_a delight_n and_o comfort_n i_o can_v say_v with_o the_o church_n as_o the_o appletree_n among_o the_o tree_n of_o the_o wood_n so_o be_v my_o belove_a jesus_n to_o my_o soul_n i_o sit_v down_o under_o his_o shadow_n with_o great_a delight_n and_o his_o fruit_n be_v sweet_a unto_o my_o taste_n i_o can_v in_o some_o measure_n say_v with_o david_n as_o the_o hart_n pant_v after_o the_o water-brook_n so_o pant_v my_o soul_n after_o thou_o o_o god_n my_o soul_n thirst_v for_o god_n for_o the_o live_a god_n when_o shall_v i_o come_v and_o appear_v before_o god_n o_o god_n thou_o be_v my_o god_n early_o will_v i_o seek_v thou_o my_o flesh_n long_v for_o thou_o in_o a_o dry_a and_o thirsty_a land_n where_o no_o water_n be_v how_o amiable_a be_v thy_o tabernacle_n o_o lord_n of_o host_n my_o soul_n long_v yea_o even_o faint_v for_o the_o court_n of_o the_o lord_n for_o a_o day_n in_o thy_o court_n be_v better_a than_o a_o thousand_o etc._n etc._n my_o soul_n wait_v for_o god_n from_o who_o come_v my_o salvation_n he_o only_o be_v my_o rock_n and_o my_o salvation_n he_o be_v my_o defence_n i_o shall_v not_o be_v great_o move_v in_o god_n be_v my_o salvation_n and_o my_o glory_n the_o rock_n of_o my_o strength_n and_o my_o refuge_n be_v in_o god_n because_o thy_o lovingkindness_n be_v better_a than_o life_n my_o lip_n shall_v praise_v thou_o my_o soul_n shall_v be_v satisfy_v as_o with_o marrow_n and_o fatness_n and_o my_o mouth_n shall_v praise_v thou_o with_o joyful_a li_n with_o my_o whole_a heart_n have_v i_o seek_v thou_o o_o lord_n let_v i_o not_o wander_v from_o thy_o commandment_n thou_o be_v my_o portion_n o_o lord_n i_o have_v say_v i_o will_v keep_v thy_o precept_n for_o with_o they_o thou_o have_v quicken_v i_o o_o how_o love_v i_o thy_o law_n it_o be_v my_o meditation_n all_o the_o day_n how_o sweet_a be_v thy_o word_n to_o my_o taste_n yea_o sweet_a than_o honey_n to_o my_o mouth_n therefore_o i_o love_v thy_o commandment_n above_o gold_n yea_o above_o fine_a gold_n thus_o be_v my_o heart_n fill_v with_o joy_n and_o my_o mouth_n with_o praise_n and_o though_o my_o dwelling_n be_v on_o earth_n yet_o my_o conversation_n be_v in_o heaven_n i_o look_v upon_o all_o thing_n here_o below_o with_o a_o indifferent_a eye_n i_o can_v in_o some_o measure_n say_v with_o paul_n none_o of_o these_o thing_n move_v i_o neither_o count_v i_o my_o life_n dear_a to_o myself_o so_o i_o may_v finish_v my_o course_n with_o joy_n i_o be_v then_o able_a to_o make_v a_o spiritual_a use_n of_o every_o providence_n and_o of_o every_o mercy_n and_o of_o every_o thing_n i_o meet_v with_o i_o find_v the_o assistance_n of_o the_o holy_a spirit_n to_o perform_v spiritual_a duty_n in_o a_o spiritual_a manner_n and_o help_v and_o direct_v i_o to_o some_o duty_n which_o i_o never_o know_v to_o be_v my_o duty_n and_o though_o i_o can_v say_v i_o be_v whole_o free_a from_o temptation_n yet_o i_o can_v say_v whenever_o satan_n begin_v to_o set_v upon_o i_o i_o be_v enable_v to_o see_v that_o it_o
righteousness_n be_v more_o satisfactory_a and_o please_a unto_o god_n than_o all_o the_o sinner_n wickedness_n be_v injurious_a and_o displease_v to_o he_o o_o this_o be_v a_o very_a sweet_a and_o comfortable_a consideration_n indeed_o there_o be_v no_o such_o evil_a in_o sin_n to_o damn_v thou_o as_o there_o be_v merit_n in_o christ_n blood_n to_o save_v thou_o ix_o to_o despair_v of_o mercy_n be_v a_o great_a sin_n than_o all_o thy_o other_o sin_n this_o make_v thou_o like_o the_o devil_n himself_o it_o be_v the_o glory_n of_o divine_a grace_n to_o triumph_v over_o all_o the_o sinner_n unworthiness_n resolve_v therefore_o i_o will_v yet_o follow_v god_n though_o i_o have_v offend_v he_o come_v on_o i_o what_o will_v i_o know_v he_o be_v god_n and_o not_o man_n who_o can_v help_v nay_o will_v help_v if_o i_o come_v unto_o he_o isa_n 57_o 16._o i_o will_v not_o contend_v for_o ever_o nor_o be_v always_o wroth_a for_o the_o spirit_n will_v fail_v before_o i_o and_o the_o soul_n that_o i_o have_v make_v isa_n 41._o 17._o when_o the_o poor_a and_o needy_a seek_v water_n and_o there_o be_v none_o and_o their_o tongue_n fail_v for_o thirst_n i_o the_o lord_n will_v hear_v they_o i_o the_o god_n of_o israel_n will_v not_o forsake_v they_o when_o it_o come_v to_o fail_v faint_a sink_a die_a then_o come_v help_v be_v much_o in_o prayer_n and_o hold_v on_o wait_v god_n may_v make_v you_o seek_v and_o wait_v a_o long_a time_n aye_o but_o he_o will_v certain_o come_v and_o that_o will_v make_v amends_o for_o all_o x._o how_o shall_v one_o be_v willing_a to_o die_v that_o have_v not_o a_o sense_n of_o god_n love_n i_o answer_v when_o we_o can_v see_v our_o love_n to_o god_n though_o we_o can_v see_v god_n love_n to_o we_o what_o be_v the_o act_n of_o our_o soul_n towards_o god_n when_o we_o can_v see_v no_o love_n in_o his_o dispensation_n towards_o we_o as_o that_o good_a man_n under_o great_a affliction_n and_o dissatisfaction_n about_o the_o love_n of_o god_n at_o last_o break_v out_o if_o i_o do_v not_o love_n god_n why_o do_v i_o follow_v he_o and_o mourn_v after_o he_o if_o thou_o love_v god_n here_o be_v ground_n of_o comfort_n thou_o can_v not_o love_v god_n if_o he_o do_v not_o first_o love_v thou_o it_o be_v a_o memorable_a answer_n of_o mr._n dod_n to_o a_o godly_a minister_n that_o say_v to_o he_o a_o little_a before_o his_o death_n what_o will_v you_o say_v to_o i_o who_o be_o go_v out_o of_o the_o world_n and_o can_v find_v no_o comfort_n he_o reply_v what_o will_v you_o say_v to_o our_o saviour_n that_o be_v go_v out_o of_o the_o world_n and_o find_v no_o comfort_n but_o he_o cry_v out_o my_o god_n my_o god_n still_o this_o speech_n much_o refresh_v that_o godly_a minister_n other_o of_o god_n child_n have_v want_v sensible_a comfort_n at_o their_o death_n yet_o they_o have_v be_v able_a to_o act_v faith_n and_o to_o say_v my_o god_n my_o god_n still_o though_o god_n sensible_a presence_n be_v not_o still_o the_o same_o yet_o his_o word_n and_o promise_n be_v he_o speak_v as_o comfortable_o in_o his_o word_n as_o ever_o he_o can_v deny_v his_o own_o word_n god_n sometime_o withdraw_v comfort_n that_o we_o may_v prize_v his_o word_n more_o and_o depend_v more_o upon_o that_o you_o please_v and_o honour_n god_n most_o when_o you_o can_v venture_v your_o soul_n on_o his_o bare_a word_n and_o promise_n a_o faith_n of_o recumbency_n on_o christ_n in_o the_o want_n of_o comfort_n do_v more_o honour_n god_n than_o the_o high_a faith_n of_o assurance_n why_o shall_v death_n be_v a_o terror_n to_o they_o that_o fear_v god_n none_o need_v to_o fear_v death_n that_o be_v escape_v from_o the_o dominion_n of_o sin_n and_o the_o devil_n can_v you_o say_v you_o do_v not_o love_n christ_n and_o that_o you_o do_v love_n sin_n then_o there_o be_v cause_n enough_o for_o fear_n but_o this_o be_v to_o bely_v the_o bless_a spirit_n the_o godly_a have_v hope_n in_o his_o death_n a_o hope_n of_o life_n even_o at_o the_o point_n of_o death_n a_o godly_a man_n hope_n can_v never_o fail_v he_o he_o may_v want_v sensible_a comfort_n but_o he_o do_v hope_n still_o death_n it_o be_v a_o go_n to_o god_n and_o shall_v a_o godly_a man_n be_v afraid_a of_o go_v to_o his_o god_n again_o it_o be_v a_o sleep_n a_o rest_n be_v weary_a man_n afraid_a of_o rheir_a rest_n and_o of_o go_v to_o sleep_v if_o death_n be_v a_o enemy_n it_o be_v a_o slay_a enemy_n christ_n have_v be_v the_o death_n of_o death_n and_o why_o shall_v that_o have_v terror_n in_o it_o that_o have_v no_o life_n in_o it_o a_o godly_a man_n be_v a_o real_a gainer_n by_o death_n he_o gain_v more_o by_o his_o death_n than_o ever_o he_o get_v all_o his_o life_n long_o viz._n happiness_n and_o joy_n that_o shall_v never_o end_v again_o though_o death_n separate_v relation_n here_o yet_o death_n can_v never_o separate_v the_o godly_a man_n soul_n and_o body_n from_o christ_n both_o still_o continue_v unite_v unto_o christ_n they_o sleep_v in_o jesus_n god_n be_v still_o their_o god_n and_o therefore_o let_v not_o the_o saint_n of_o god_n be_v afraid_a of_o death_n xi_o psal_n 147._o 11._o the_o lord_n take_v pleasure_n in_o they_o that_o fear_v he_o in_o they_o that_o hope_v in_o his_o mercy_n then_o our_o prayer_n please_v god_n when_o they_o be_v put_v up_o to_o he_o in_o faith_n and_o hope_n of_o his_o mercy_n poor_a tremble_a soul_n that_o meditute_v nothing_o but_o terror_n little_o think_v how_o it_o will_v please_v god_n to_o see_v they_o to_o hope_v in_o his_o mercy_n they_o be_v conscious_a to_o themselves_o how_o they_o have_v displease_v god_n but_o hope_v in_o god_n mercy_n and_o he_o will_v take_v pleasure_n in_o thou_o they_o bring_v most_o honour_n to_o god_n that_o be_v most_o admire_a and_o magnify_v of_o his_o mercy_n his_o heart_n be_v most_o set_v on_o mercy_n in_o all_o the_o manifestation_n of_o it_o therefore_o let_v poor_a droop_a soul_n still_o maintain_v hope_n in_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n through_o christ_n xii_o this_o be_v certain_a in_o every_o afflictive_a providence_n to_o believer_n there_o be_v more_o mercy_n than_o wrath_n nay_o it_o be_v all_o mercy_n in_o the_o issue_n and_o not_o in_o revengeful_a wrath_n but_o paternal_a anger_n they_o have_v support_v under_o all_o sometime_o they_o may_v be_v under_o desertion_n and_o no_o comfort_n of_o god_n come_v into_o their_o soul_n they_o be_v ready_a to_o say_v lord_n why_o cast_v thou_o off_o my_o soul_n but_o then_o they_o have_v this_o to_o support_v they_o they_o can_v love_v god_n and_o mourn_v after_o his_o favour_n though_o he_o seem_v to_o be_v go_v from_o they_o they_o can_v look_v after_o he_o and_o long_o for_o his_o return_n and_o this_o be_v such_o a_o effect_n of_o grace_n that_o be_v more_o worth_a than_o the_o whole_a world_n sustentation_n say_v mr._n baines_n i_o thank_v god_n i_o have_v though_o suavity_n i_o have_v none_o sickness_n and_o sorrow_n and_o death_n that_o be_v the_o fruit_n of_o sin_n none_o can_v be_v exempt_v from_o but_o grace_n do_v this_o for_o believer_n the_o curse_n the_o hurt_a the_o venom_n of_o all_o be_v take_v away_o they_o be_v gainer_n by_o all_o 2_o cor._n 4._o 16._o though_o our_o outward_a man_n etc._n etc._n all_o work_n for_o their_o good_a other_o have_v comfort_n with_o a_o curse_n but_o believer_n have_v cross_n with_o a_o blessing_n the_o gild_n of_o sin_n the_o grace_n of_o god_n in_o christ_n do_v quite_o take_v away_o from_o all_o believer_n heb._n 8._o 12._o pardon_v mercy_n clear_v the_o soul_n of_o gild_n what_o comfort_n be_v this_o to_o such_o that_o by_o the_o grace_n of_o justification_n through_o christ_n they_o be_v in_o god_n account_n righteous_a and_o upon_o the_o account_n of_o christ_n their_o righteousness_n they_o may_v come_v into_o god_n presence_n with_o as_o assure_a welcome_n as_o adam_n in_o paradise_n or_o the_o angel_n now_o in_o heaven_n this_o thou_o may_v be_v assure_v of_o that_o christ_n will_v not_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n nor_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax._n though_o thy_o faith_n be_v so_o small_a that_o it_o yield_v not_o light_a to_o other_o nor_o heat_v to_o thy_o own_o heart_n yet_o christ_n discern_v and_o accept_v it_o but_o can_v a_o man_n have_v the_o exercise_n of_o grace_n and_o not_o know_v it_o fear_v god_n and_o not_o discern_v it_o i_o answer_v yes_o some_o grace_n may_v then_o be_v act_v and_o discern_v by_o other_o as_o well_o as_o at_o any_o other_o time_n he_o may_v fear_v god_n as_o true_o and_o as_o much_o as_o ever_o and_o yet_o his_o grace_n may_v not_o have_v light_a to_o discover_v itself_o to_o he_o it_o may_v have_v a_o be_v and_o work_v in_o the_o heart_n when_o it_o be_v not_o clear_a in_o thy_o apprehension_n xiii_o harken_v unto_o the_o voice_n of_o god_n o_o poor_a doubt_v disconsolate_a sinner_n why_o do_v thou_o pass_v sentence_n against_o thyself_o thou_o say_v o_o my_o sin_n be_v very_o many_o well_o but_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n be_v far_o more_o o_o but_o my_o sin_n be_v very_o great_a true_o but_o the_o meroy_n of_o god_n be_v far_o great_a o_o but_o my_o sin_n be_v of_o long_a continuance_n true_o but_o yet_o thy_o sin_n be_v but_o sin_n of_o time_n his_o mercy_n be_v the_o mercy_n of_o eternity_n o_o but_o my_o sin_n be_v great_a than_o you_o be_v aware_a of_o they_o be_v crimson_a scarlet_a sin_n how_o great_a be_v they_o be_v they_o as_o great_a as_o the_o sin_n of_o manasseh_n that_o be_v a_o wizard_n that_o fill_v jerusalem_n with_o blood_n yet_o god_n pardon_v he_o be_v they_o great_a than_o the_o sin_n of_o mary_n magdalen_n out_o of_o who_o be_v cast_v seven_o devil_n and_o yet_o god_n have_v mercy_n for_o she_o o_o but_o i_o fear_v the_o stock_n of_o mercy_n be_v quite_o spend_v no_o his_o mercy_n endure_v for_o ever_o it_o be_v from_o everlasting_a to_o everlasting_a but_o i_o have_v exceed_o abuse_v mercy_n yet_o remember_v that_o though_o thou_o have_v sin_v against_o his_o mercy_n yet_o thou_o have_v not_o sin_v above_o his_o mercy_n isa_n 55._o 8._o my_o thought_n be_v not_o as_o your_o thought_n nor_o my_o way_n as_o your_o way_n as_o the_o heaven_n be_v above_o the_o earth_n so_o be_v my_o thought_n above_o your_o thought_n and_o my_o way_n above_o your_o way_n finis_fw-la finis_fw-la my_o honour_a friend_n mr._n joshua_n gearing_n sen._n