I would have thee Courteous Reader to ponder in thy heart to vvit the gift of singing spiritual Songs and Hymnes whih she prâ—sents thee with some instances of in her Book here and there occasionally touching which Administration I am willing for thy â—dification to say 1. That singing of Psalmes Hymnes and Spiritual Songs bâ—ing an Ordinance of Gods vvorship ought to be performed by a gift and the assistance of the Spirit as well as prayer 1. Cor. 14 12 15. What is it then I vvill pray vvith the Spirit c. I vvilising vvith the Spirit c. Now as to take a book and râ—ad a prayer out of it or to say a prayer without the Book is not to pray in the Spirit so to read a Psalme in a Book and sing it or to sing the same Psalme without the Book is not to sing in the Spirit If the singing of Psalmes be a part of Gods worship as doubtless it is then it ought to be performed by assistance of the spirit for the true worshippers ought to worship God in spirit and truth John 4 23 24. 2. That Christians ought to sing Spiritual Songs and Hymnes as well as Psalmes unto the Lord And that with grace in their hearts Col. 3 16. for the melody which the Lord loveth iâ— in the heart rather then in the voyce Eph. 5 19. 3. They who performe this part of Gods worship whether they speak unto themselves in private or unto others more publickly ought to have the word of Christ to dwell richly in them yea and to be filled with the Spirit as the Apostle testifieth Ephes 5 vers 17 18 19 20 and Coloss 3 vers 16. I have known some other Godly and gracious Christians besides this grave and holy Matron who have this gift of Singing and I my self have some experience of this kinde of Anoynting of the Spirit of praise which will I hope ere long be powred forth upon the sons and daughters of Zion And then they will praise Jehovah singing to the Lord a new Song and his praise in the Congregation of Saints as is prophesied Psal 149 1 2 5. and Isai 51 11. and 52 1 8. c. The holy Spirit can dictate the Matter yea and words of praise and singing as well as the matter and words of prayer And why may not the Lord assist a poor gracious humble soul to sing in the Spirit as well as to pray in the Spirit seeing there nothing too hard for God to do It was by many and is still by some denyed that there is any such thing as a Spiritual gift of prayer save onely that vvhich is acquired And yet the gracious experience of many Godly persons doth testify that there is such a gift of the Spirit called a spirit of supplication which is powred forth upon the Lords people And although many nay most Godly Christians do not believe there is any such Spiritual gift of â—â—nging as I have here intimated yet some few poor gracious humble soules have good Experience that there is sometimes a measure of the holy Spirit powred upon them where by they are so filled with the Spirit that they break forth into singing Pray therefore that thou mayest sing and praise the Lord when the Redeemed of the Lord shall return and come with singing to Zion Isa 51 11. And the Children of Zion be joyful in their King Psal 149 1. Unto whom be glory and dominion for ever AMEN So prayeth he who waiteth for his Kingdome and Coming HANSERD KNOLLYS ERRATA PAg. 1. Line 8 9. read forbearance line 16. r. sinned l. 19. r. petty Pag. 3. line 1. r. I was stirred line 3. 4. r. to me towards Heaven Pag. 4. l. 7. r. stumblest Pag. 6. l. 1. r. heed Pag. 7. l. 6. r. Christening Pag. 8. l. 25. 26. r. unbelief Pag. 9. l. 12. read renewings These and some other litteral mistakes the Reader is desired to mend in the perusal of this Book Christian Womans experiences of the glorious working of Gods free Grace I Had once hard thoughts of the people of God yet being on a time perswaded to go to hear them I went though not out of love to them but to vvatch vvhat I could observe and being then over perswaded against them and the Ministers Text that then preacht was Rom. 2 4 5 6. or Dispisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbeacance and long suffering not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee unto repentance but after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up to thy self wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous Judgment of God who will render to every man according to his deeds Verily at this opportunity the dread of God did much smite upon my heart that I had so long sinnend against his patience and goodnesz He had this passage that the sword of the Lord hung as in a twine threed to cut of all pitty swearers and I having been one that durst not swear great oathes but small ones I was addicted to I thought it met with my particular condition Then had I little acquaintance with any that feared the Lord unless it were one family and they were much afraid of me for a season because I had been so vain Then was I cast upon the Lord alone who did much support mee by his grace blessed be his name yet the very first night after he began to work upon my heart I fell under this temptation that I should not eat any more but rather die and then I should cease from sinning against the Lords goodness I then cast away my prayer-book for it did not reach my necessities and I cried unto the Lord alone to teach mee to pray Then did I endeavour to keep close to the best teaching ministery I could find I was very ignorant yet did search the Scriptures diligently but found them very dark to mee I dayly saw a more clear discovery of my sinful nature and then began to be sorely perplexed with feavs that I could not be a child of God because I knew not how to get victory over my sin and though I used all meanes I could yet my corruptions would sometimes break forth which made mee often times ready to dispare and to cast of all But one day amongst the rest the Lord made mee resolve though he kild mee yet I would trust in him he made mee also desire of him that if he would not save mee yet that he would not let mee go back again into sin for the sence of Gods goodness was much upon my heart Then in several Sermons God was pleased to speak peace to my poor soul yet after through the violence of temptations I often questioned my condition sometimes I was tempted to murder my self sometimes to starve my self yet the Lord upheld mee for I could not make my case known to any but God for the space of two years all which season I was wonderfully kept by
removed again out of England into Holland and I brought the papers of my experiences with mee which the Ship being cast away were lost with the trunck in which they were Then was it much set upon my heart that God was displeased with mee for not putting them in print and then the guift of singing and praising was much ceased and I was troubled for the which I sought the Lord and did begg ' that if he were offended at mee for not printing and leaving them behind mee that he would pardon it unto mee and that if it were his good pleasure I should write them again I did pray that he would let his Spirit come to inable mee again in singing and prayer as it was wont to do and be my remembrancer to write again and indeed it did so not long after in the night both in song and in prayer But then I having not time was much hindered yet notwithstanding according to the time I had I set my self to do it and the Lord was pleased to assist mee in bringing again to my remembrance things of long standing Now before I departed from England I was satisfied in my spirit that I had a clear call from thee Lord so to do for indeed more then a year I had such a motion in my spirit backed with many Scriptures for its furtherance Yet nothwithstanding in this Voyage we met wich some diffciulty for the Ship I came over in was cast away but in the time of the greatest trouble the Lord gave mee in these promises that he would be with mee in six troubles and in the seventh he would not forsake mee Call upon mee in the day of trouble I will hear thee and deliver thee and thou shalt glorify mee With this sweet word also thou shalt not die but live to see the mercy I will shew unto thee It was in the night and after some time the Ship being a ground and in great danger and so were all the persons in it one asked mee if I were not afraid I answered the God of heaven my Father hath brought mee hither and if he may have more honour in drowning of mee then by preserving mee his will be done Then when the mast was cut down and the Master with some others said we are dead persons and like to loose our lives yet I had much hope in the Lord because of his promise and after that I and some others in the Ship with mee had committed our selves unto God by prayer I being in the Cabbon laid me down to sleep but I had not it seems lien half an hour but they called us and said there was Land not far of if wee would seek for help vvhich accordingly vve did But it being but about the break of the day vve did vvander over the sandâ— but could find no vvay out of the sea as it vvere compassing us aboue round then vve all returned to the Ship again and some concluded vve must go in an perish there so they vvent in again But vve said if vve must perish vve vvould be still seeking to save our lives And as our God to whom we had committed ourselves guided us we went another way on the sands and as I was going looking to God to be my Pilot not knowing whether vve vvent for the sea vvas one both sides of us and vvee had but a small vvay on the sands to vvalk in and as I vvas begging of the Lord to keep in the seastill vve found out a place not onely for our ovvn escape but that vve might see deliverance for our friends in the Ship also the Lord vvas pleased to set this upon my heart As thy deliverance is so shall Englands be vvhen they are brought to greatest streights then vvill deliverance be from God A hint of some night meditations and effects of prayer I being avvake one night and very full of trouble in my mind because I vvas no more spiritual for I had found my self very dead-hearted in prayer over night for the vvhich I vvas very sadly afflicted in spirit and indeed then vvanting place of retirement to send up strong cries unto the Lord did much deaden my spirit for I found it vvas the practice of Jesus Christ sometime to be in the vvilderness sometime in the mountain all night in prayer alone and sometimes alone in the gardin and I find prayer in secret much acceptâ—d vvith God according to that vvord Pray to thy â—ather in secret and he will reward thee opeâ—ly Math. 6 6. indeed so full of sorrovv vvas I that I uttered no vvords but sigâ—d and groaned to the Lord. Then this came in Vpon the 〈◊〉 thou shalt live 〈…〉 of â—oâ—e I will the 〈◊〉 〈…〉 be made all times to see 〈…〉 flowes in mee Then did I groaâ—e before the Lord that he vvould give in some promise the Lord cast in this that the grace or prayer vvas before the guist of prayer and that this vvas the grace of prayer to give up our selves in faith to the guidance of the spirit and so by â—aith to have communion vvith the Father and the Son in the Spirit for Christ tâ—ld the Woman John 4 v. 21 22 23. Neither in thus mountain noâ— in Ierusalem shaâ—l mâ—n worship the Father but the â—our is coming a now us when the true worshippâ—rs shall worship the Father in Spirit and iâ— truth sor the â—ather sâ—â—keth such to worship him God is a Spirit and they that worship him must worship him in Spirit and in truth This Woman then could say that Christ vvould teach all things vvhy should not vve look for the teachings of the Spirit novv seeing Christ hath not onely been vvith us in the flesh God and man but had also promised us the pourings out of the Spirit to teach us all things and to bring all things to our remembrance Then further I vvas mourning that I could not injoy the ordinances of God â—n their purity and the Lord shevved mee that I must offer up my 〈◊〉 And vvhen Abraham vvent to do that he left his servants belovv the hill and consulteâ— not vvith flesh and blood Also aftervvard I had such vvonderful experience of communion vvith God through the Spirit as I am not able to utter it I avvaking another night vvas greatly complaining that the flesh did so 〈◊〉 in the Spirits vvork that vvhen I vvorld do good evil is present â—â—en did the spirit put me upon uttering many heavenly complaints in a vvay of singing and after that vvith the help of the Spirit to pray vvith much enlargâ—dness And aâ—ter that there vvas by the same spirit vvith very much povver this vvord Be silent before mee all flesh Oh! and then follovved the vvonderful speakings of God by his blessed Spirit to my poor soul vvhich I cannot utter as to the manner of them bâ—t the nature of them vvas exceeding comforting to my self and also filled 〈◊〉 vvith great hopes to all the people of God
the power of God alone In this time was I called by my friends into a darck corner of the land full of ignorance yet I was sorely troubled especially when I was overtaken with any sin still I fell down beforâ—â—he Lord bewailing my sins then did the Lord give mee much comfort from this place of Scripture Jer. 31 20. Is Ephraim my dear son is he a pleasant child for since I spake against him I do earnestly remember him still therefore my bowels are troubled for him I will surely have mercy upon him saith the Lord. Now in the place where I was were many Papists and they much endeavoured to have mee of their judgment But God kept mee in a thirsting frame of spirit after the preaching of the word and often cast in my mind that I should Matt. 6 33. First seek the Kingdom of God and the righteousness thereof and all other things should be added Wee had in that place a bad Minister but to God I made my supplication and used what means I could to obtain a better and God was pleased to answer my desires and sent a better to that very place who remained there the time that I stayed under whose honnest teachings I often met with sweet refreshing Then was stirred up by my friends to change my condition to be married to an husband upon which I did earnestly begg of God that I might have one that did fear the Lord that he might be a furtherance to heaven and indeed so hee was For I married with a man that was much in practical diuties yet some difference there was in our judgments which often caused no small trouble in my spirit but it had this effect it caused mee to cry to God and to search the Scriptures so much the more using all means for a â—ight understanding in the things and wayes of God and it became helpful to mee And in this time of my earnest seeking of God alone he was pleased to discover to mee by dreames and visions of the night the uggliness of sin in a far greater manner then ever I saw it before and in dreams brought many Scriptures to mind that did answer some questions and satisfy some doubts that were in my heart and so did cause darkness to become light before mee at that time and this did the Lord do in the absence of other meanes soon after I gained information where the word was powerfully preached but it being something far from mee I had some difficulty to get to it yet it being through grace more to mee then my ordinary food I keept close to opportunities of the word there preached which in an especial manner God was pleased to make very useful unto mee And I injoying often many sweet tasts of the presence of God in his ordinances was carried out through all weathers to wait upon him and this I can truely say from real experience that the worst wheather I went through the more of God I met within his ordinances I remember one very wet day I had much comfort from these words let this incourage others Joh. 1 2 3. Now are wee the sons of God and it doth not yet appear what we shall bee And afterwards while my meditations were something upon Hebrews 6 5 6. I was much stirred up to mind how far an Hypocrite might go in Religion And I began to consider whether or no I had gone any further then such a one might go for I saw plainly that a person might go very far and yet be in a sad state though they may be â—nlightened and tast of the heavenly gist and be partakers of the holy Spirit yea and tast of the good word and also hear the best Preachers gladly as Herod did Iohn the Baptist and as Agrippa did Paul and yet be but almost a Christian Then I being at a Sermon the words of the Text were Marc. 6 vers 20. And he did many things That Minister then shewed that an Hypocrite or a reprobate might do many things but yet a true child of God can do more he named two things in which a child of God goeth beyond an Hypocrite First that he doth as much desire to be holy as happy 2. That he doth as earnestly fet himself against all sin as some Then was I exceedingly taken up in my thoughts about this thing but being carried out to seek the Lord earnestly he was pleased to give in this answer Thou tumblest so much at the stone of assurance that thou forgetest to build then did God let me see that the foundation and top-stone is Jesus Christ and that I must cease from my own workes and take Christ upon his own termes and then entred I into some rest Oh what a knotty piece was I to work upon for until he put forth his mighty power I could not believe and I found nothing stronger then free grace to stricke at the root of my sin Also on another snowy day I going many miles to hear I was refreshed much from these words 2 Cor. 12 9. My grace is sufficient for thee And on another day from these words Luke 10 20. But rather rejoyce because your names are written in heaven And another time aboundance of comfort from that Scripture 1 Cor. 2 9. Eye hath not seen nor ear heard neither hath it entred into the heart of man to conceive the things which God hath prepared for them that love him It was a very sore day when I went to this opportunity and a very bitter Journey I had but God made it exceeding sweet unto mee Also I had a very great fit of a feaver by reason of the trouble of conscience I was under and in the time of that great feaver the Lord was pleased to set that Scripture upon my heart Rev. 22 17. The Spirit and the bride said comm and let him that heareth say come and let him that is a thirst come and whosoever will let him come and take of the watters of Life freely Which did administer so much comfort refreshing to mee from a sence of the freeness of Gods grace being set upon my heart with so much power of the Spirit that I was contrary to the Judgement of Physicians soon raised to my health again For indeed I had at that time been exceedingly troubled in my spirit about my sins which I had been looking back upon for I had made a Catalogue of them and spread them before the Lord for pardon But thinking them to be so many that God would not pardon them I did much desire I might die and go out of the body and not live any Longer in it to encrease mine iniquities And although at this time a good Minister did endeavour to comfort mee yet I put comfort from mee and said it did not belong to mee till the God of all grace was pleased to give it in by the power of his Spirit as besore mentioned and then after our good God had
consulted what to do for mee But concluded there was no help but I must dye But when I heard that I said there is yet help in God and it was set upon me to believe that if I could but touch the hemm of the garment of Jesus Christ that is believingly go to him I should be healed being also put in minde of that promise that whosoever forsake any thing for his sake and the Gospels Mat. 19 29. should receive an hundredfold then I cryed Lord give me to be healed of this distemper by thee seing thou art pleased to deny help by man And one day our Pastor called in to visit me as he was going to the meeting whom I did desire to pray for me and to stirre up the bretheren to joyn with him and I much incouraged him that they should pray in faith believing for what they asked telling him that by faith and prayer he would assuredly heal me and verily according unto my faith it was done unto me for ever blessed be God for J. Christ for as they were praying in his name the distemper departed Next the Lord was pleased to lay his afflicting hand upon another of my children then did I much desire that all afflictions might be sanctified rather then removed and that by all I might be made more conformable unto Jesus Christ was I helped then to read and mind thad place in Job Job 34 32. That which I see not teach thou mee if I have done iniquâ—â—y I will do no more Then our Pastor coming again to visit me I asked him how we should know the mind of God in these many afflictions he answered mee that a man having an orchard or vineyard walkes therein and among all the trees he makes choyce it may be of some one tree whose standing is more pleasant and conveniâ—nt then others and that tree he chops hacks and makes an Arbour to sit in for his delight and said hee if God wil do so by you will you not there with be content Oh! yes said I if that be the good will of my heavenly father and blessed be God I did find it so for though I have sowed in tears I have reaped in joy and have found the times of greatest outward trouble and affliction have been the onely times of greatest inward and spiritual joy and soul consolation verily I cannot express with tongue nor pen the large experience I have had upon this account And this I have found that when a poor soul is faithful and single hearted for God walking up to the light id hath received this is the very way to injoy the presence of God and his blessing upon him in what state and condition so ever he is in for this I can declare from mine own experience that lose is the way to gain troublet is the way to peace sorrow is the way to joy and death is the way to life he that looseth his life for my sake saith Jesus Christ the same shall find it through the valey of tears lieth the way to the mountain of joy for whilst I set my self in good earnest to seek the Lord for instruction into the truth as it is in Jesus I met with many difficulties but yet out prayer hearing God was pleased to come in by degrees having through his grace given me faith in his son who was exalted as a Prince and a SÃ viour to give me repentance made mee also willing to be baptised for the remission of sins Now that which made me willing to obey the Lord in this Ordinance was the Command of Jesus Christ in Mat. 28 19. and Act. 10 48. and the example of Christ and the practise of the Apostles and pâ—imitive Saints together with the promise of the gift of the Holy Ghost anexed thereunto Acts 2 38. And indeed this truth a last was so set upon my heart by the Lord that though many difficulties lay in the way yet the Lord carried me through them all and after I had obeyed the Lord therein in very faithsulness I must declare that I did injoy the incomes of God in a more plentisul manner then before But Satan for some time laboured to hinder mee in obeying the Lord in this piece of service with this temptation that by this meanes a death in all likelyhood and in an eye of reason would fall upon my livelyhood but God made it a furtherance to mee and to others also so that many of us were at that time after waiting on God by fasting and prayer baptized together And after that the Lord was pleased to bless mee in my imployment that following year with more then ordinary success by which the Devil was proved a lyar But afterward I had some fears that my imployment might be a suare unto mâ—e as the world is to many and that I should bee too earthly in it for this Scripture did follow mee very much which I desire to give good heed unto Oh! Earth Earth hear the word of the Lord. And often in prayer I did cry unto God saying speak Lord for thy servant desires to hear and was very desirous to know what the Lord would have me to understand by this word and when I had considered I found some thing in my imployment sinsul and a hinderance unto my spiritual injoyments to convince mee of which the Lord waâ— pleased to with hold his blessing upon that imployment which before I had found therein to the convincing and converting of some to himself so finding something in it contrary to his will I was constreined to leave it of and after much seeking of the Lord for councel these Scriptures were much with mee Math. 7 7. Ask and it shall be given you seek and ye shall find knockâ— and it shall be opened unto you If ye then being evil know how to give good guifts unto your children how much more shall your father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him Math. 7 11. And on my servants and on my hand maidens will I pour out of my spirit and they shall prophesy Acts 2 18. These promises did dwell with mee for a long season so that I was much stirred up to pray to the Lord that he would please to accomplish them upon mee and pour out of his blessed Spirit upon mee And after long seeking espâ—cially one day being very earnest and importunate with the Lord after which I went out to walk and on a sudden I was indued with the gift of singing in such a way and manner as I had not been acquainted with before and immediately this following song came in as fast as I could sing as followeth it was in the year 1655. in the Moneth of February Come home come home thy work is done My glory thou shalt see Let all the meek ones of the earth Come home along with thee Cast of the world it is too base And low for thee to dwell I have redeem'd thee from
And now hereby do I know that it was the Spirit of God and of truth that did work at this time because it did lay mee low and flat before him that is holy and made me see my own insufficiency and his great al sufficiency which did much humble mee and broak and melted mee exceedingly then was this promise given in That they that waiton the Lord shall renew their strength they shall mount up with wings as Eagles they shall run and not be weary and they shall walk and not faint And my heart was very much drawn out to wait upon God in a way of believing both for my self and people of God having that word as it were whispered in my ear If thou canst believe all things are possible Another time I was considering that though I had been a Professor many years yet I though indeed I was but a babe in Christ then that word came upon mee Out of the mouthes of babes and sucklings thou hast ordâ—ined praise And indeed I can incourage the most simple and weak to wait on the Lord for his grace is sufficient At this time I was taught by the spirit that prayer was another thing then some take it to be it is of a divine nature and they onely whom God helpeth can pray for it is not words that is alwayes needfull for a soul may pray and utter no words and have sweet communion with God by faith yet words sometimes affect the heart and I have sometimes found the voyce cannot be kept in the heart may be so filled Therefore I blame none but desire to be tender of all for God accepts what himself gives outward performances is as the shell without the kernel if the spirit act not but what of his own spirit is in any duty that God doth accept And we read of the poor woman in the Gospel who met with some discouragements yet by the power of faith being inabled to hold on oh how greatly he commended her faith and answered her desire though her words were but few onely Lord help mee c. And Hannahs prayer was heard who did but move her lips And although she was a woman of a sorrowful spirit before yet she went away believing and also rejoycing that God had heard her prayer So the desires of them that fear him shall be answered and he will hear their cry Daniel before he made his supplication was answered the groaning of the spirit before the Lord is a loud cry the prayer of faith doth save the sick The Lord is a very present help in the time of need They that trust in him shall not be disappointed Nay he takes pleasure in them that fear him and that hopes in his mercy Therefore let them that call on the name of the Lord depart from iniquity Further my heart being carried out long to wait for and expect ther teachings of the spirit more fully to be given mee and therefore if any thing comes in further it is not of nor from my self but the Spirit of Gods working in and upon a poor weak creature who though I be very unfit to publish any thing of this nature to the world yet according to my measure I would with that poor woman do what I can with willingness and cheerfulness for God loves a cheerful heart in his work and the Apostle saith if there be first a willing mind it is accepted according to that a man hath and not according to that he hath not Yet I am much incouraged to believe that this work is of the Lord for I have found the flesh exceeding opposet thereunto and when I have neglected it God hath withdrawn himself from mee and when I set to it in good earnest then God returns and let mee injoy sweet communion with himself And the more the Lord appeared at the first comings in of these things upon my soul the more his love broake my heart that I was wonderfully affected to behold the freeness of his grace to such a one And verily the more watchful I was against sin and unto duty the more of his divine presence was affoarded which is so gloriously sweet to injoy that the more I had the more still I would have and still longed for not onely in the day but in the night also hearkening what God spake and in the night his vvay to my soul hath been to come in vvith many svveet seasonable and povverful instructions stirring me up to pray teaching me hovv to pray and vvhat to pray for encreasing my faith and considence to believe for that I have praied for both for my self and others and also stirring mee up to praysing him and I find that giving my self vvholy to the disposing of God in prayer is a very good thing also this fear hath been upon mee sometimes that I should offer unto God that vvhich cost mee nothing that is to lay on t the choisest and most of the day about the vvorld and then bring the sleepy head to God for a sacrifice I minding the spirituallity of true prayer and my unfitness for it I have found the councel of our Lord Jesus Christ very useful vvhere he saith VVatch and pray Math. 26 41. And the Apostle saith VVatch unto prayer Pet. 1 4 7. yet I have found often when I have been to pray unto God my heart have been very dead and I could not get it into so spiritual a forme as I would yet durst not neglect the dayly waiting upon God in that duty but even then made it my work to petition the Lord to compose my spirit and quicken me by his grace and holy Spirit that I might not offer the blind the halt and lame in sacrifice unto God And indeed then God hath so come in upon my spirit that I haâ—â— had more communion with him self yea more then at some other time when I have been apt to think my self more fit At other times when I have not found God coming in to help mee I have gone a way and waited his time for unless God enlarge our hearts it is not good for us to en large in words for God is in heaven and thou on the earth therefore let thy words befew thy words mark that and bodily exercise prositeth nothing my son give mee thy heart saith God Eccles 5 2. The poor man that said God be merciful unto mee a Sinner went a way more accepted or rather Justified then the Pharise in the time before the coming of Christ in the flesh if Gods people could not bring a lamb fo ra sacriffice if they brought but two pigeons or a little flower if it were brought to the Priest it was accepted so if we come to him that Justifies the ungodly and hath promised to do all our works in us and for us beholding his alsufficiency and submit to him and be content with that he will give us as well in spirit uals as in temperals the Lord will accept of
us onely believing we must flee unto the hornes of the Althar And I have found when I have neglected prayer my heart hath been very dead and full of unbelief And again I have found it no comfort to rest upon duties for that is a dangerous evil to set up such an Idol in the heart but here in lay my comfort when I by faith could have communion vvith God and coming near to him could cast my burthen upon him and go avvay quiet in my mind that Christ vvould do all for mee and vvhen I vvas vvilling God shtould do vvhat he pleased vvith mee and my vvill vvas brought to his vvill then have I had the mercy I have asked and more also many times I have found retired places and vvatchings the best opportunities and greatest advantages unto prayer Also I have had many temptations against prayer but the best vvay to overcome them is to mind the command of Jesus Christ vvhich is that vve should vvatch unto prayer and pray alvvayes keep close to the duty in the strength of Christ and loose not the motions of the Spirit neither grieve the Spirit by sin but vvatch against all appearances of evil for I hahave found that the neglect of vvatchfulness against sin and being overcome by it doth greatly deaden the heart to duty keep your eyes upon the promises by faith look up unto Christ in prayer and let all take heed of setting up prayer or any other duty above or in the roome of Jesus Christ Iâ— God assist you to pray for a mercy though he give it not in presently yet hold on if your asking be according to his will and your end the glory of God and ye find enlargment from the Spirit of life you may be sure he will be answer you in that thing or else in some thing better for you in his ovvn season My self sought the Lord 20 years for one thing before I had an ansvver but at last being at prayer after I had done God gave mee in a most gracious ansvver and set dovvn the very time of deliverance and did accordingly accomplish it at the very time to him be the praise And many other things I have sought the Lord for and he hath been pleased to grant my desire especially vvhen he hath made me earnest and importunate and have assisted me to hold on and given me a spirit of faith to believe for the thing prayed for Another time I sought the Lord for a relation of mine who was thought to be near unto death and this vvas given in call upon mee in the day of trouble I vvil hâ—ar and deliver and thou shalt glorify mee and â—rom that time that person amended and life vvas continued Also I knew another young person that was by the word preached convinced of her sinsul state and set upon the performance of some duties but not being acquainted with the wiles and temptations of Satan afterward some deadness ceasing upon her spirit began to neglect her duty but one in the family perceiving of it advised her to present her self before the Lord and although she found her self dead yet to pray that she might pray whose conucel shee took and shee continuing diligent the Lord came in by the mighty witness of his spirit fully satisfying her soul in a very short time Further oh let all that fear God be encouraged to continue in and not neglect family duties for I have found by good experience many wrought upon by instructions and prayer when their lot have been cast into those families where reading praying and Catechising and such duties have been faithfully performed ô many young ones have been brought home to God by his blessing upon this meanes And amongst many more I remember one who was very strongly assalted with many temptariones to keep her from coming to and clossing with Jesus Christ and this tâ—mptation was most upon her that she was too young and it would be time enough afterward why should she expose her self to scorne and reproach by being called a Puritan and so become a luaghing stock to others but the Lord was pleased to overcome her and bring her to himself X Another also who set her self against them in the family that wished her soules good and used all meanes to gâ—t out of that family to which end also she raised some lyes which very evil the Lord set upon her heart and then she came to be convinced of her sad sinful state and was also brought home to God through his rich grace in Jesus Christ And another who by this meanes vvas vvrought upon that vvas a young maid a Ministers Daughter and had been vvell instructed and educated from a child vvhereby she vvas informed of the evils of scandalous sins and avoided them and vvas also very constant in the performance of duties and indeed so vvalked as none could see ought a mise in her conversation yet notvvithstanding the poor heart vvas ignorant of her self and of Jesus Christ but she being under a family Catechising and instruction vvas by the mighty povver of the eternal Spirits vvorking convinced of original sin and then she savv that for all her formality she vvas a sinner and had need of a Saviour and so vvas brought home to close with Jesus Christ This also I have found that a constant close secking of God hath been crowned with his presence for I my self was with some others desired to pray to the Lord for councel and direction for them but they would not tell mee in what it was that they sought direction yet notwithstanding I did not know the thing I set my self to seek God for them and he was pleased to shew me what it was this was Anno 1657. and I did pray God to let mee know his mind in that particular and the Lord put it upon my heart to go and read and the place of Scripture handed to mee was quite against their work at that time which they had upon their heart to do then I sought the Lord again and the second answer was go in and â—ead then I looked up to the Lord as I did before and said Lord shew me where I shall read and that Scripture also was flat against their work and just so I had a third answer also And the next day as I was at my work my heart and meditations were above and my secret desire still to God for the further teachings of his good Spirit and these following lines with much more came in as a further answer from the Lord As for the work of Babylon It is a mighty work and strong But yet my power shall it compleat For my wisdom it mighty great They must sit still behold my power VVhich worketh for them hour by hour And novv my dear Christian friends into vvhose hands this my poor mite shall come I desire you take notice of that great love and vvonderful grace of God vvhich he hath been pleased to manifest
in giving in such sweet returus of prayer let him alone have the praise and be ye all incouraged and stirred up to pray continually and be very watchful that if at any time God do move you to do any thing do it with all your might according to the assistanco the Lord gives you for I have found it a great grieving of the spirit to put it of with delayes through carnal reasonings of the flesh which indeed vvould have hindreed mee in offering of these few experiences to the view of the vvorld but vvhen God vvas pleased to give me a heart to it and I set upon it vvith a resolution in his strength to go through it not with standing all opposition Oh! then was the Lord pleased to come in again and fill my soul with peace and joy unspeakable and full of glory which was to my great refreshment I being then in a strange Land Holand seperated from Country kindred and fathers house yea there and then did our good God according to what I had wont to have give into my spirit heavenly Allelujas both night and day with many sweet Instructions from him self when it was with us as it were a time of famine of the word our Teathers being removed into corners and thrown into prisons in the Year 1662. O! how was I then stirred up by the teachings of that good Spirit often to praising and often to very earnest prayer as for my self so for his poorasslicted persecuted people and then also I found my heart much enlarged to love and to do good and lay out my self for sa ints of all perswasions yea and all others also as I had opportunity And upon this ground because my dear Redeemer the Lord Jesus hath set mee a pattern to do good to all and what talent soever we do recieve we must lay it out to his praise if it be but one and it shall be increased this I have had experience of be not backward to improve thy talent because another may have more then thou that springs from a root of pride and negligence is the way to loose what thou hast but look up to God for a blessing upon the right use of what thou hast received and if he seeth it good that thou mayest better honnor him with more he will give in thee in his own way and time for then shall ye know if ye follow on to know the Lord. Hose 6. 3. It is also promised that they who be planted in the house of the Lord like a watered Gardin shall they grow and florish and bring forth fruit in their old age Psa 92 12 13. Further o let all the beloved of the Lord take a specialcare of every Gospel ordinance and commandment of our Lord to hold forth what light you have received for there is non of the ordinances of the Gospel to be slighted for they hold out unto us those choyce priviledges that vvere purchased for us vvith the precious blood of Jesus Christ I have found great peace and injoyed much of Gods presence in vvaiting upon him in the vvay of his appointments and I have found the Lord not leaving but teaching of mee vvhen I out of conscience have forborn vvhere they vvere not tobe injoyed according to the rule of the Gospel and expose my self to any suffring to injoy them in the purity of them and indeed God doth take special notice of them vvho they be and vvhere they dvvell Revel 2 13. that in sore persecuting and suffering times hold fast his truths and do not deny his name Mal. 3 16 and hath promised that they vvho keep the vvord of his patience shall be keept in the hour of temptation And vvhen he hath humbled us he vvill shevv us the pattern of his house the goings out and the comings in thereof and the fashions Lawes and ordinances thereof that we may do them Ezek. 43 11. And the time doth hasten that God will turn to the people a pure Language And all shall know the Lord from the least to the greatest And he will lead the blinde in a way that they know not he will make darkness become light and crooked things streight and bitter things sweet and hard things easy and this he will do and not forsake us Further let none be discouraged to do their duty though never so weak yet if thou beest acted by the Spirit of God weak meanes often times becomes effectual to accomplish great things for by experience also I know when some persons have been praying together that one being senceable of the state of the other and mourning over their sin before the Lord God have made use of those very mournings and breathings to convince the other of their sinful state with the danger of it and thereby have been caused to turn from sin unto the Lord whose eyes were never opened before One Maid who by this meanes was convinced and said nothing at present but after prayer retiring herself to her Bible with a purpose to see what word of comfort she could find there and it pleased God to hand to her that place Rom. 8 13. For if ye live after the flesh ye shall die but if ye through the Spirit do mortisy the deeds of the body ye shall live which word God did make very powerful and effectual to help forward his work upon her soul All these speak forth the freeness of Gods rich grace therefore who ever readeth and under standeth what is in this free workings of God good Spirit let him alone have all the praise and glory and the Lord inclined my heart every day more and more to praise him for his unchangeable love in Jesus Christ therefore let them that read this give God praise for this undeserved mercy and let me have a share in your prayers that I may be filled with a spirit of praise for none have more cause then I to speak well of his great and holy name and that I may honour God that little time that I have to live upon the earth and that in all changes For if God sees affliction to be good for mee I desire not to dispise his chastizements for I have found more strength in a great affliction then in a little one and my soul hath been filled with joy out of measure Therefore if we be brought to this take joyfully the spoiling of our goods knowing we have a better inheritance and the giving up all to the will of God who gave all to us we shall have all given to us with advantage oh the fulness of him that filleth all in all but I am nothing and can do nothing no longer then he doth assist therefore praise him for ever more And since I was taken of from my incumbrances in the world and had more time to spend in the wayes and work of God waiting on him for more of himself the Lord according to his promise hath revealed himself more abundantly and I have
found that a chearfull watchful diligent spirit in ones general and particular calling is a great help to prevent mispending time for of idleness comes no good therefore it hath been my practice that if I can do no good nor receive good not to stay in that place long Oh! let us be wary how we spend our precious time for it hat a lock before but none behind I am of a fearful timerous spirit naturally but I find it a great help to dash Babilons brats in the first rice I was about 14 years in the pangs of the new birth before I received the witness of the spirit in which time I was exceeding troubled with my unbelieving heart through entertaining false fears and indeed some thing of Jesus Christ was in mee all that while Althoug sometimes I could not with comfort be hold him through that thick cloud of my many Iniquities and I never found Satan more foyled and my own corruptions more subdued then when I by faith could look up unto Gods unchangeable love in Jesus Christ though I be a poor changeable creature and verily I have found great gain in true Godliness And now friends give me leave to tell you these are mine experiences and I fear it would be burthen some to you if I should be larger which I could be but give me leave to tell you the conclusion of all what I endeavour after which is to press after the mark of the high calling to deny my self and look up to him that is perfect and who presents all his perfect without spot or wrinkle Not to him that worketh onely but to him that believeth for he is holy I desire to observe all the Commands of Christ as my rule of life but I am not here by justified but alone by a righteousness out of my self there fore I say none but Christ not by workes of rightcousness that we do but by faith are we saved that not of our selves it is the guift of God for he that kindleth a fire and composeth himself about with the sparks thereof he shall lie down in sorrow Isa 50 11. for a man may do much in outward performances and yet not have a heart right with God the foolish virgins had lamps of profession as well as the wise but they had not oyle so the young man in the Gospel said to Christ he had observed all the Commandments from his youth what lacked he yet but to deny himself and to part with what he had for Christ to take up the cross and to follow him which he could not do except Christ had given him a righteous heart for all his outward seeming righteousness So the Scribes and Pharisees blamed Câ—rist for all his righteous actions but could not see the Idol in thâ—r own hearts for all their righteousness sprung not from a right root nor was done by a right rule nor to a right end 1. First they had not grace in their hearts 2. Secondly neither did they do what they did by the rule of the word of God but by their own rule 3. What they did was for their own glory to get them praise from men and not to the glory of God Amos 4 4 5 6. the which is an abomination to the Lord this sacrifice God is weary of it is as the â—ffering of Swines blood and the cutting of a Dogs neck before the Lord this made Cains sacrifice to be unacceptable in the sight of God mans righteousness is as monstruous cloathes and filthy raggs that comes â—ot not from a heart sanctified where Christ dwels al though it be garnished with never so much parts and guifts the Lord looks upon the inward righteousness of the heart Parts and guifts may cease but the least measure of true grace shall hold out to the end And what soever is parts and not grace bear not these following Characters upon them such have not the spirit now the spirit is Truth light and love 1. First the spirit of truth joynes with the vvord of truth if an Angel from heaven should bring any other doctrine we are not to receive it and them that believe and trust in the promise it leads into all truth wait for the accomplishment of the promise of the spirit to teach you all things and bring all things to your remembrance which he hath promised shall remaine with us alwayes John 14 16. This is a good antidote against error this teaching for the most part abides and formes the soul into it self The more of this truth and light comes in the more a soul abhorres it self sees it's own emptiness and Christs fulness The more of this light comes into the soul the more it thirsteth after light The more knowledg it hath of God the more it loves God which conformes it into his image and the more it delights in God and loves them most that have most of God in them Ps 16. all my delight is in the Saints and them that are excellent in the earth The true spirit delights in all the commands of God which shews true love to God if you love me keep my Commandments Jo. 14 15 16. and I will pray the Father and he shall give you another Comforter that he may abide with you for ever It is a meek and a quiet spirit it hates pride and lifting up it sees enough in it self dayly to humble it It s full of love to all that God loves though differing from them by this shall all men knovv that you are my Disciples if you have love one to another Joh. 13 35 We know that vve are passed from death to life because we love the brethren 1. Joh. 3 14. Now the reason why we should cherish this grace of love to God his people and all men are these First because without love which is charity we are but as sounding brass or tinckeling Cymbals all we do without this is nothing 2 Cor. 13. Secondly because Christ hath said because Iniquity shall abound the love of many shall wax cold in the last dayes Mat. 24. 12. Thirdly because it is one of Christs last and great Commandments John 13 34. 1. of Joh. 2. 7. 8. Fourthly it renders us much like unto our Master Christ Jesus Acts. 10 38. who went about doing good to all let us labour to follow his example shevv pitty to them that God hath not yet shewed so much pitty to as he hath done unto us do good to them that hate you and pray for them that dispitefully use you Mat. 5. 44 45. These were Gods teachings to mee in the absence of faithful Teachers when they were removed into corners Which was a sore affliction to mee but I look at what mercy God afoards mee in all afflictions seing I am unvvorthy of the least mercy for it vvere a righteous thing vvith God to cut us of and I marvailed at his patience and long suffering vvith mee and all others I find by experience that reading
the Scripture before prayer many times quickeneth the heart to Christ And to meditate on Gods mercies to our soules and bodyes and what great things Christ hath suffered to purchase these mercies for us is a great help to stir up to that heavenly duty of praising and thankfulness which is a maine duty I would stir up my self and others unto because our hearts are apt to be very backward unto it and secondly because it is a duty to be done at all times In all things give thankes yea in afflictions For God hath promised all shall worke together for good to them that love God Thirdly to be filled with the Spirit of praises makes the soul to live in heaven while it is on earth verily we had need be stirred up to this duty for he that offers praise glorifies God Psal 50. last verse And Iesus Christ complaines against the neglect of it in that place where the ten Leppers were clensed and but one did returne thankes saith Christ was there not ten cleused but where are the nine O! athankful frame doth compose the heart to great contentedness in every condition it is of a divine nature it stirres up the graces of God in the soul as love and faith with hope in God and charity to others Therefore pray for the Spirit of God to put the heart into a praising frame for there 's need of the exercise of much heavenly wisdome in the performance of this duty for â—t is a spiritual work Another experience I have had that it is our duty and very profitable to watch against all evil thoughs these ften grieve the holy Spirit of God as of old he complained how long shall vain thoughts lodg within you and God looking upon man beholding what was in his heart and seeing his thoughts to be evil onely and continually and it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth and it grieved him at the heart and God said I will distroy man whom I have created from the facre of the earth Gen. 5 6. And then down comes the flood of Gods displeasure upon the old world not for sinful actions only but thoughts also Therefore keep your hearts with all diligence Prov. 4 23. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh And in the multitude of words is sin I would desire all to take heed of idle words and mind well what ye speak when and how avoid all needless speeches and put far away all vain foolish jesting an evil which my self was some times very prone too and as too many do harm by I endeavored to make my self and others merry but alas 't is sinful mirth and it will bring sadness here or els which is worse end in sorrow hereafter thus was I convinced of this evâ—l being upon a joyrney meeting one that was a stranger to mee thinking to make him and my self laugh spoake jestingly to him but he presently fella swearing and cursing and railing which when I heard wounded me to the heart that I by my folly should provoke the poor man so to sin against God my mirth soon turned into mourning And while I mourned before the Lord over this my great evil which had produced such a sad effect God was pleased to set this upon my heart Cannot I make thee more merry with heavenly and spiritual joy then thou canst make thy self with such foolish vain and sinful mirth And the Lord hath since filled mee with that sweet refreshing joy that is a thousand times better to mee then all sinful mirth Further in reference to words I would commend unto yow some Scripture rules Iam. 1 26. compared with Math. 12 27. from whence we may observe that when any person doth utter words that be vain earthly or froward it doth plainly manifest that there is an earthly vain and froward heart whiâ—h is an abomination to the Lord Prov. 11 20. and in Iam. 1 19. The Apostle doth perswade Christians to be swift to hear but slow to speak and slow to wrath And Jesus doth exhort his followers that their yea should be yea and their nay nay saying that what soever is more is evil And Iams 1 21. bids us lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness that is to say what ever is more then needful in words apparel and diet yea and in all things and what ever profession any person may make if they bridle not their tonge they deceive themselves and their Religion is vain hath God through his free grace passed his distinguishing love upon a little Remnant doubtless 't is their duty then to distinguish themselves from others in their words habit and in their whole conversation so to walke as becometh the Gospel Phil. 1 27. Surely if persons were awakened by the voice of God that speaks lowd in the present afflictions they would so doe 't now is not a time for any of Gods Children to continue their superfluities when many do want necessaries Let me intreat such to read and mind what is written in Rom. 12 1 2. And 1 Pet. 2 11. If we could but be moderate in the use of all things what good Stewards should we be of the manifold blessings of God which he hath betrusted us with and we must give an account of in the day of the Lord. Prosperity hath made many to glory in the flesh and exalt themselves in which vain glory some still do continue although the great Eternal God hath and doth testify from heaven against it but if it be not repented of and departed from God wil turn it into shame Hosea 4 7. As they were increased so they sinned against me therefore will I change their glory into shame it s now a trying time and all persons by their conversations will discover what they are and were ever the deeds and workes of the flesh appear and are alowed 't is evident there is not the Spirit of God in them And they who have not the Spirit of Christ are none of his And 't is not a talking of but walking in the Spirit will help against the fulfilling the lusts of the flesh and manifest who are the true Children of God Oh! that persons were wise to consider their latter end then surely they would not neglect the knowledg of those things that belong to their peace but chuse that better part that shall never be taken from them Which would make them happy for ever Oh! that all would be persuaded to commune with their own hearts and consider their own wayes And to mind the dreadful Judgments of God and his vials of wrath that shall be powred out against sin and sinners surely they would see it is high time to departe from pride vain glory coveteousness oppression hypocrisy mallice and all sin For verily God is visiting for these things and for persons still to continue therein may it not be feared and justly exspected that God should increase his Judgments and punish