A contentious Wife will trouble a Family and bring disquietness to a quiet Husband Therefore the Wife is to be peaceable and the same ought to be the care of the Husband not to be captious chiding with his Wife for every small thing he seeth amisse But to follow the Apostles Rule 1 Thess 4.11 Study to be quiet especially with his Wife This is a hopeful means to prevent disturbance in a Family and to preserve Conjugal Love between Husband and Wife The nineteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love The nineteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love is to learn and act St. Paul his practice as it is recorded Phil. 4.11 12 13. If a Man hath married a Wife or a Woman a Husband which proveth not according to expectation First it may be a cross or careless Husband or one that is tyrannical over his Wife to make her his Slave or his Servant or otherwise that is a daily vexation to his provident and pious good Wife a common Tavern or Ale-house-Haunter or a desperate Gamester a mispender of his precious time or estate in idle or evil Company neglecting his Calling and Houshold occasions 1 Sam. 25.17 c. or a Nabal a Churlish Clown and ingratefull as Nabal was Or that a Husband hath failed of his expectation and hath met with a riotous mispending Wife or one that is perverse and unquiet or contrary to the Apostles Rule will usurp authority over the Man which she ought not 1 Tim. 2.12 If she prove sickly or diseased weak and unable to perform all Duties yet if she be faithful to him in the Marriage Covenant to keep her onely to him so long as they both shall live If God lay his Hand upon them with or in Tryals and Troubles Losses and Crosses in the World they must both labour by the Power and Grace of Christ to submit to God's Providence and to be content with their Lot and Condition It may be God did leave thee to thy self in the Choice of Wife or of thy Husband for tryal of thy Faith or Patience or other Graces Good Patient Job had not the best Wife that was so unkind to him in his great Affliction as you may read Job 19.17 It may be God saw it best for thee to have such a Wife or such a Husband to humble thee or for other ends and all for thy good which all things must be If thou love God and art called by Christ to repent and believe on him according to God's purpose as St. Paul Rom. 8.28 Therefore to study Piety and contentment shall be your great gain in the end as the Spirit of God witnesseth 1 Tim. 6.6 Labour then by Love to amend what you find amiss in each other and that by all fair means This will be a way to prevent worse evils and to preserve Conjugal Love between Husbands and Wives whilst they live The twentieth and last Direction A twentieth Direction or Gold-link of love or Gold link of Love to preserve Love between Husbands and wives which I shall give at this time is to pray constantly and piously with Faith and Fervency to God as reconciled in Christ There is Grace and Wisdome and strength in Christ to inable you to perform these and all other Duties required of you Read Joh. 1.16 Joh. 15.5 Col. 1.19 Col. 2.3 Phil. 4.11 12 13. both for and with one another not in private onely in your Family but in secret in your Closets if possibly it may be That the most blessed God will in and for the Merits of Christ pardon all Sins heal all Infirmities and by his free Grace in Christ supply all defects and reform whatsoever is found amiss either in Husband or Wife and by the Power and Spirit and Grace of Christ to inable them to perform all Duties first to God then to each other with care and faithfulness yea to all other Superiors Inferiors or equally so to live together as Heirs of the Grace of Life that your Prayers be not hindred The Husband may say to the Wife 1 Pet. 3.7 and the Wife to her Husband as Samuel said to the Israelites 1 Sam. 12.23 God forbid I should sin against the Lord in ceasing to pray for you Prayer is a Duty incumbent upon all to practice daily And the fervent Prayer of God's Children is effectuall James 5.16 17. If any be tempted to any Sin pray as St. Paul did 2 Cor. 12.7 8 9. Isaac prayed for his Wife and God heard him and gave her Children Genesis 25.21 Hannah she prayed for a Son and God gave her the Request of her Soul 1 Sam. 2.23 What should I tell you That Monica St. Augustins good Mother did pray for her Son and the Lord heard her and fulfilled her desires What greater encouragement can be or need to be to this duty Pray till God answer Joh. 16.23 then that gracious Promise of our Saviour That whatsoever we ask the Father in his Name he will give it us Joh. 16.3 Oh then my Beloved in Christ Pray as Jacob did Gen. 32.26 Hosea 12.4 be sure to practice this duty of Prayer not onely in publick in the Congregations joyn with the publick Prayers of the Church But in private in your Families and in secret in your Closets daily Persevere in prayer untill God bless you Rom. 12.12 And if you have not Prayer-Books to answer every Dispensation and to direct you in particular Petitions according to your present Necessities as who hath Then learn and labour to be able your selves by the help of the Spirit of Prayer and Supplication promised to Gods Church and Children Zach. 12.10 To make your Request known unto God upon all occasions Read Phil. 4.6 7. The peace of God shall keep your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus Math. 7.7 8. Husbands for your Wives and Wives for your Husbands and both for your Children with the greatest reverence and the best expressions you can as to your heavenly Father who biddeth Ask and you shall have Thus may you obtain this great Blessing That Love may continue firm and constant between Husband and Wife whilest you live to your comfort and joy in Christ Jesus for ever which that it may be by Gods Blessing and shall be my daily Prayer for you all And that all Honour and Glory may be given to God the Father God the Son and God the blessed Spirit now and for ever Amen Some Divine Prayers for Husbands and Wives That God will be pleased to give them spiritual wisdom and strength in and by the Grace of Christ for the faithful performance of their mutual Duties that a blessing may be from God upon them and their Posterities for ever Drawn by the Author according to the matter and end of this Gold Chain of Directions A Morning Prayer for the Husband or wife or either of them with their Family or any other fit Person to Pray when the husband is absent
O Lord Zach. 12.10 prepare our hearts to Prayer and so assist us with thy holy Spirit of Prayer and Supplication Rom. 8.26 27. that our Prayers may be acceptable Rev. 8.3 4. and we may receive a gracious Answer in and for the sweet Incense and Merits of the Lord Jesus Christ our blessed Lord and Saviour Amen O eternal Deut. 32.27 most gratious merciful everlasting everliving Exod. 34.6 7. Jer. 10.11 1 Tim. 1.17 Isaiah 46.9 10. Rom. 8.28 Rom. 11.33 34 35 36. and only wise God who orderest all things according to the Counsel of thy own most just and holy Will and disposest of all for thy own eternal Glory and the eternal good of thy Church and Children in Christ Jesus of whom may we seek for Protection and safety of Soul or Body or any other blessing but of thee our God and heavenly Father in our Saviour Christ from whom cometh every good and perfect Gift James 1.17 with whom is no variableness nor shadow of turning The last night we durst not lay down our eyes to sleep Psal 132.4 nor suffer the temples of our head to take any rest until we had begged thy gratious Providence for preservation of us and ours in particular and of thy whole Church in general And thou O blessed God who art the hearer of Prayer hast in thine abundant goodness heard our Prayer Psal 65.2 Psal 66.18 19 20. and brought us to the light of this day blessed be thy great and glorious Name thou mightest O Lord in thy Justice have consumed us by Fire to ashes Exod. 12.29 30. and made our Beds our Graves One or more of us might have been stricken with some terrible tormenting Sickness we might have been found dead in our Beds as many have been many other miseries might have befallen us But in thy great mercy thou hast spared us Lam. 3.22 23. and renewed thy mercies to us this Morning What shall we render to thy heavenly Majesty for thy Favours And now we dare not adventure into the World without intreating thy Protection and Blessing in and upon our just and lawful Endeavours We confess O Lord we are not worthy the least of all thy mercies Genesis 32.10 and thy loving-kindnesses which from time to time thou hast shewed to thy Servants We acknowledge we have not been sensible of that original corruption of our depraved Natures Eph. 2.1 2 3. and our proneness to Sin drawn from our first Parents corrupted by their lamentable Fall Genesis 3.6 7. Genesis 6.5 nor have we humbled our selves in sence of this our misery as we should have done we have not kept our Hearts with all diligence out of which are the issues of death Prov. 4.23 But our Hearts have followed our Eyes beholding Vanity Jer. 4.14 Psal 141.3 and vain thoughts have too long lodged within us We have not set a watch O Lord before our Lips and kept the doors of our Mouths but many idle unprofitable sinful words for which we must answer at the Day of Judgment have been uttered by us to thy dishonour Mat. 12.36 and evil example of others yea Eph. 4.4 29 30. too many times corrupt Communications to the grief of thy holy Spirit Psal 39.1 Psal 119.67 We have not taken heed to our Feet to walk in the right wayes of thee O Lord but gone aside from the Pathes of thy Commandements and so have been guilty of many actual transgressions both in thought word and deed breaking thy most righteous Lawes We have failed in the Duties of our several particular Relations as Husband to Wife and Wife to Husband Parents to Children and Children to Parents Masters or Dames to Servants and Servants to them not performing our Duties in the fear of God as we ought to have done We have not walked as becometh Christians towards others nor done as we would they should do to us according to that Golden Rule of our blessed Saviour Mat. 7.12 Phil. 1.27 So that by our good Conversation as becometh the Gospel of Christ others might have been stirred up to glorifie thee our heavenly Father Mat. 5.16 So that if thou shouldest enter into judgment with us O Lord Psal 143.2 how can we be justified by any our own righteousness in thy presence Phil. 3.9 10. O then behold us we humbly beseech thee in the face of thy Son Jesus Christ as washed clean by his Blood and accepted by his Merits Mat 3.17 He it is in whom thou art well pleased Acts 5.31 and him thou hast exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance to Israel and remission of Sins Psal 19.12 Oh give us true Repentance for all the Errours of our Lives past for Christ's sake and grant that being delivered out of the hands of all our Enemies Luke 1.74 75. we may serve thee without fear of them in righteousness and true holiness all the days of our lives Bless with us we pray thee all our Friends Psal 35.11 12 13 14. Mat. 5.11 and change the Hearts of our Enemies make them our Friends if it be thy will be gracious to our Children and Servants make our Children thy Children our Servants thy Servants Isa 41.8 and our Friends thy Friends Lev. 19.17 Let us reprove we pray thee and not give evil example Eph. 5.11 nor suffer our Children or Servants to be prophane Swearers or Cursers Lyars Drunkards or unjust Joh. 13.15 Psal 101.6 7. But grant that we may be good examples and that they may be faithful in the Land such as thy servant David would have make them religious like faithful Abraham's servant praying when they are sent about our occasions Lord send me good speed this day Genesis 24.12 that we and they may be blessed Bless with us thy universal Church scattered thorough out the whole World Be gracious we pray thee to the Nations of England Scotland and Ireland poure down thy blessings upon the Kings most excellent Majesty with his Royal Consort the Queen and all the Royal Family preserve Him and Them from all His 1 Tim. 2.1 2. Their and our Enemies Bless all the honourable Nobility the Reverend faithful Ministers of the Gospel in their several places with all the Magistrates Gentry and Commons of the Land and inable us thy humble servants rightly and justly to do our Duty to all our Superiours 1 Pet. 2.17 Inferiours and Equals and to this end increase we most humble intreat thy Majesty all necessary Graces in all our souls Give us we beseech thee a daily supply and increase of Divine Knowledge and heavenly Wisdome Lord increase our Faith Luk. 17.5 and give us such a Faith as purifieth the Heart Acts 15.9 and worketh by Loves Give us true Conversion from all our sins Gal. 5.6 2 Cor. 7.10 and Repentance to Salvation not to be
contentment and continuance of Love between Husband and Wife is this That there ought to be free Communication of mutual kindness and conjugal engagements one to and with another that mutual Benevolence and Bond of Marriage-Love at times convenient according to the Law of God and Nature read the blessed Apostles Direction 1 Cor. 7.2 3 4 5 c. and that Law of God Leviticus 18.19 and Leviticus 20.18 and Ezekiel 18.6 These Rules observed This Marriage-kindness at fit times is one means to cherish and preserve mutual conjugal Love between Husbands and Wives when as the denial of this loving kindnesse is a dangerous occasion of Breach and Disquietnesse yea sometimes it may prove of separation and an occasion of Damnable sin if God restrain not by his special Grace yet a Bridle must be to restrain Intemperance in all Delights least excess destroy both Souls and Bodies That is a general Rule Phil. 4.5 Let your moderation be known to all men the Lord is at hand He is present to see all our Actions and to bless or punish according to our Obedience or Disobedience to his Commandements Thus you have a seventh Gold-link of Love The eighth followeth The eighth Direction or Gold-link of Love And this is That Husbands and Wives be careful of and ready to shew their love to each others Souls as well as to their Bodies or Estates That Husbands love their Wives as Christ loved his Spouse the Church and gave himself for it that he might sanctifie and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word that he might present it to himself a glorious Church not having spot or wrinkle Eph. 5.25 26 27. or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish Husbands ought to take care for the beauty of their Wives Souls as well as of their Bodies that they may be lovely to Christ their heavenly Husbands as well as to them Cant. 4.7 as the Spouse of Christ is to him The Husband which taketh no care for his Wives soul how can he expect that God should bless him with a good Wife The Husband should pray daily for his Wife as St. 1 Thess 5.23 Paul did for his Christian Thessalonians That her whole Spirit Soul and Body be preserved blameless to the coming of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. The Soul is better then a whole World Mat. 16.26 What is a man profited if he gain the whole World and lose his Soul or what shall a man give in exchange for his Soul What saith that great and blessed Apostle He that provideth not for his own especially for them of his own houshold he hath denyed the Faith and is worse then an Infidel 1 Tim. 5.8 And if it be a Duty to provide for the Body of his Family or Houshold then much more for their most pretious and immortal Souls if it possible be in his power and most of all for his Wives Soul which is his second Self and is or ought to be most dear unto his Soul That her Soul may prosper as St. John did testifie of the Soul of his Beloved Gaius 3 John 1.2 That it may appear he loveth his Wife in Truth and so God may bless her unto him for the good of his Soul Body and Estate And so likewise Wives ought to be studious and careful for the good of their Husbands Souls as well as of the health of their Bodies and Estates This is a means by Gods blessing for the preservation of conjugal Love and gratious affections for true joy of Husband and Wife by the Grace and Power of Christ John 15.15 Phil. 4.13 For Husbands and Wives ought to be helpers and means in their places of each others Salvation this St. Paul intimateth 1 Cor. 7.16 requiring cohabitation and dwelling together and he expresseth a Reason What knowest thou O Wife whether thou shalt save thy Husband and how knowest thou O Man whether thou shalt save thy Wife That is be an outward means of Salvation by good Counsel or otherwise by Gods Blessing taking care of the means of Salvation for each other to their powers As the Wives may be a means to win their Husbands by their good Conversations 1 Pet. 3.1 2 3 4. As St. 1 Pet. 3.7 Peter directs So the Husbands may win their Wives if they follow St. Peters Counsel Live with their Wives as men of knowledge giving honour to the Wife as the weaker Vessel that their Prayers be not hindred And this is the greatest love which is shewed to the Souls of each other and a work of high esteem and unspeakable benefit James 5.20 Let him know saith St. James That he which converts a Sinner from the errour of his way shall save a Soul from Death and shall hide a multitude of Sins And thus may a Husband or Wife be helper and means for their eternal mutual happiness if by loving and wise carriage and deportment each to other they can win and gain one or other or both from any evil he or she is subject unto praying to God daily for a Blessing upon their good Endeavours This is a most pretious Gold-link of Love to preserve love and affection and happy peace and prosperity with Husbands and Wives during their lives Now I proceed to a ninth Gold-link A ninth Direction or Gold-link of Love in this Golden Chain of Love This is that Husband be an example to the Wife of Piety and Chastity Religious Love with care of Cherishing his Wife as the weaker Vessel especially in times of Sickness Weakness or other Infirmities as Christ was kind to his Disciples when they were troubled at the news of his Departure from them John 14.1 2 3. Let not your Hearts be troubled ye believe in God believe also in Me in my Fathers House are many Mansions if it were not so I would have told you I go to prepare a place for you And as Christ hath been to his Church and Children in all Ages especially in any sad Dispensation To speak comfortably as the Lord answered the Angel that spake for Jerusalem Zachar. 1.13 The Lord answered the Angel that talked with me with good words and comfortable words Or as Elkanah did to Hannah when peevish and spiteful Peninnah vexed her because she was barren And Elkanah said Hannah why weepest thou I and why eatest thou not I am not I better to thee then ten Sons I Sam. 1.8 And the wife ought to be careful not to provoke her husband by any unkind behaviour towards him but to be ready to shew her love to her husband in sickness and health and both to look to the example of Christ our heavenly husband The husband to love his wife as his own Body for he that loveth his wife loveth himself For no man yet ever hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it as the Lord doth the Church Ephes 5.28 29. Each followeth Christ his