Selected quad for the lemma: spirit_n
Text snippets containing the quad
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A50795
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No wit, [no] help like a womans a comedy / by Tho. Middleton, Gent.
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Middleton, Thomas, d. 1627.
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1657
(1657)
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Wing M1985; ESTC R16728
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68,279
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140
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Vera Effigies Tho Midletoni Gent NO WIT HELP LIKE A VVOMANS A COMEDY BY Tho Middleton Gent. LONDON Printed for Humphrey Moseley at the Prince's Arms in St. Pauls Church-yard 1657. PROLOGUE HOw is' t possible to suffice So many Ears so many Eyes Some in wit some in shows Take delight and some in Clothes Some for mirth they chiefly come Some for passion for both some Some for lascivious meetings that 's their arrant Some to detract and ignorance their warrant How is' t possible to please Opinion tos'd in such wilde Seas Yet I doubt not if Attention Seize you above and Apprehension You below to take things quickly We shall both make you sad and tickle ye The Actors Names SIr Oliver Twilight a rich old Knight Philip his Son servant to Mistress Grace Sandfield friend to Philip servant to Mistress Jane Mr. Sunset true Father of Mistress Grace Mr. Low-water a decayed Gentleman Suitors to the Lady Golden-fleece Sir Gilbert Lambston Mr. Weatherwise Mr. Pepperton Mr. Overdon Mr. Beveril Brother to Mistress Low-water Dutch Merchant Dutch Boy Savor-wit Sir Oliver's man Footman Pickadille Lady Golden-fleeces Fool Lady Twilight Lady Golden fleece a rich Widow Mistress Low-water Mistress Grace Sunsets Daughter but supposed Twilights Mistress Jane Twilights Daughter but supposed Sunsets The Scene LONDON NO Wit Help Like a WOMANS Act 1. Scaen 1. Enter Philip Sir Oliver Twilights Son with Savorwit his Fathers man Phil. I Am at my wits ends Savor-wit Savorw And I am ev•n following after you as fast as I can Sir Phil. My wife will be forc'd from me my pleasure Sav. Talk no more on 't Sir how can there be any hope i' th' middle when w' are both at our wits end in the beginning My invention was nev'r so gravel'd since I first set out upon 't Phil Nor does my stop stick onely in this wheel Though it be a main vexation but I 'm grated In a dear absolute Friend yong Mr. Sandfield Sav. I there 's another rub too Phil. Who supposes That I make love to his affected Mistress When 't is my Father works against the peace Of both our spirits and woes unknown to me He strikes out sparks of undeserved anger ' Bwixt old Steel friendship and new Stony hate As much forgetful of the merry hours The circuits of our youth hath spent and worn As if they had not been or we not born Sav. See where he comes Enter Sandfield Sandf Unmerciful in torment Will this disease never forsake mine eye Phil. It must be kil'd first if it grow so painful Work it out strongly at one time that th' anguish May never more come near thy precious sight If my eternal sleep will give thee rest Close up mine eyes with opening of my Brest Sandf I feel thy wrongs at midnight and the weight Of thy close Treacheries Thou hast a friendship As dangerous as a Strumpets that will kiss Men into poverty distress and ruine And to make clear the face of thy foul deeds Thou work'st by Seconds Phil. Then may the sharp point of an inward horror Strike me to earth and save thy weapon guiltless Sandf Not in thy Father Phil. How much is truth abus'd when 't is kept silent Phil. O defend me Friendship Sav. True your anger 's in an error all this while Sir But that a Lovers weapon now hears reason 'T is out still like a mad mans hear but me Sir 'Ts my yong Masters injury not yours That you quarrel with him for and this shows As if y 'would challenge a lame man the field And cut off 's head because he has lost his Legs His grief makes him dead flesh as it appear'd By offring up his Brest to you for believe it Sir Had he not greater crosses of his own Your Hilts could not cross him Sandf How Sav. Not your Hilts Sir Come I must have you friends a pox of weapons There 's a Whore gapes for 't put it up i' th' Scabbard Sandf Thou' rt a made slave Sav. Come give me both your hands Y' are in a Quagmire both should I release you now Your wits would both come home in a stinking pickle Your Fathers old Nose would smell you out presently Phil. Tell him the Secret which no mortal knows But thou and I and then he will confess How much he wrong'd the patience of his Friend Sav. Then thus the Marigold opens at the splendor Of a hot constant friendship 'twixt you both 'T is not unknown to your ear some ten years since My Mistress his good Mother with a Daughter About the age of six crossing to Jernsey Was taken by the Dunkirks sold both and separated As the last news brings hot the first and last So much discover'd for in nine years space No certain tidings of their life or death Or what place held 'em Earth the Sea or Heaven Came to the old mans ears the Knight my Master Till about five moneths since a Letter came Sent from the Mother which related all Their taking selling separation And never meeting and withal required Six hundred Crowne for Ransom which my old Master No sooner heard the sound but told the sum Gave him the Gold and sent us both aboard We landing by the way having a care To lighten us of our carriage because Gold Is such a heavy mettal eas'd our Pockets In Wenches Aprons Women were made to bear But for us Gentlemen 't is most unkindly Sandf Well Sir Phil. A pure Rogue still Sav. Amongst the rest Sir 'T was my yong Masters chance there to dote finely Upon a sweet yong Gentlewoman but one That would not sell her honor for the Indies Till a Priest struck the bargain and then half a crown dispatcht it To be brief Wedded her and bedded her Brought her home hither to his Fathers house And with a fair tale of mine own bringing up She passes for his sister that was sold Sandf Let me not lose my self in wondring at thee But how made you your score even for the Mother Sav. Pish easily we told him how her Fortunes Mockt us as they mockt her when we were o' th' Sea She was o' th' Land and as report was given When we were landed she was gone to Heaven So he believes two lyes one error bred The Daughter ransom'd and the Mother dead Sandf Let me admire thee and withal confess My injuries to friendship Phil. They 're all pardon'd These are the arms I bore against my friend Sav. But what 's all this to th' present this discourse Leaves you i' th' Bogg still Phil. On good Savorwit Sav. For yet our policy has crost our selves For the old Knave my Master little thinking her Wife to his Son but his own daughter still Seeks out a match for her Phil. Here I feel the Surgeon At second dressing Sav. And h 'as entertain'd Ev'n for pure need for fear the Glass should crack That is already broken but well soader'd A meer Sot for her Suiter a rank Fox One
all the wealth this day has brought me And thus I hug it Mrs Low Prethee Wid. Thus I kiss it Mrs Low I can't abide these kissings Wid. How Sir not I 'll try that sure I 'll kiss you out of that humor Mrs Low Push by my troth I cannot Wid. What cannot you Sir Mrs Low Not toy nor bill and imitate House-Pigeons A married man must think of other matters Wid. How other matters Sir what other matters Mrs Low Why are there no other matters that belong to 't Do you think y' have married onely a Cock-sparrow And fit but for one business like a fool You shall not finde it so Wid. You can talk strangely Sir Come will you to bed Mrs Low No faith will not I. Wid. What not to bed Sir Mrs Low And I do hang me not to bed with you Wid. How not to bed with me Sir with whom else Mrs Low Why am not I enough to lie with my self Wid. Is that the end of marriage Mrs Low No by my faith 't is but the beginning yet death is the end on 't Unless some trick come i' th' middle and dash all Wid. Were you so forward lately and so youthful That scarce my modest strength could save me from you And are you now so cold Mrs Low I 've thought on 't since It was but a rude part in me y'faith To offer such bold tricks to any woman And by degrees I shall well break my self from 't I feel my self well chastned since that time And not the third part now so loosely minded O when one sees their follies 't is a comfort My very thoughts take more staid years upon 'em Oh marriage is such a serious divine thing It makes youth grave and sweetly nips the Spring Wid. If I had chose a Gentleman for care And worldly business I had ne'r took you I had the offers of enough more fit For such employment I chose you for love Youth and content of heart and not for troubles You are not ripe for them after y' have spent Some twenty years in dalliance youths affairs Then take a Book in your hand and sum up cares As for wealth now you know that 's got to your hands Mrs Low But had I known 't had been so wrongfully got As I heard since you should have had free leave To have made choice of another Master for 't Wid. Why can that trouble you Mrs Low It may too soon but go My sleeps are sound I love not to be started With an ill conscience at the fall of midnight And have mine eyes torn ope with poor mens curses I do not like the fate on 't 't is still apt To breed unrest dissention wilde debate And I 'm the worst at quarrels upon Earth Unless a mighty injury should provoke me Get you to bed go Wid. Not without you in troth Sir Mrs Low If you could think how much you wrong your self In my opinion of you you would leave me now With all the speed you might I like you worse For this fond heat and drink in more suspition of you You high-fed Widows are too cunning people For a poor Gentleman to come simply to Wid. What 's that Sir Mrs Low You may make a youth on him 'T is at your courtesie and that 's ill trusted You could not want a friend beside a Suiter To sit in your husbands gown and look over your writings Wid. What 's this Mrs Low I say there is a time when women Can do too much and understand too little Once more to bed I 'd willingly be a Father To no more Noses then I got my self And so good night to you Wid. Now I see the infection A yellow poyson runs through the sweet Spring Of his fair youth already 't is distracted Jealous of that which Thought yet never acted O dear Sir on my knees I swear to thee Mrs Low I prethee use them in thy private Chamber As a good Lady should spare 'em not there 'T will do thee good faith none 't will do thee here Wid. Have I yet married poverty and must love What Fortune has my heart that 's all I crav'd And that lies now a dying it has took A speeding poyson and I 'm ignorant how I never knew what beggery was till now My wealth yeelds me no comfort in this plight Had want but brought me love I 'd happen'd right Exit Widow Mrs Low So this will serve now for a preparative To ope the powers of some dislike at first The Physick will pay 't home How dost thou Sir How goes the work Enter Mr Low-water Mr Low Your Brother has the Letter Mrs Low I finde no stop in 't then it moves well hitherto Did you convey it closely Mr Low He ne'r set eye of me Bev. I cannot read too often Above Mrs Low Peace to your office Bev. What blessed fate took pitty of my heart But with her presence to relieve me thus All the large volumes that my time hath master'd Are not so precious to adorn my spirit As these few lines are to inrich my minde I thirst again to drink of the same Fountain KInde Sir I found your care and love so much in the performance of a little wherein your wit and art had late employment that I dare now trust your bosome with business of more weight and eminence Little thought the world that since the Wedding dinner all my mirth was but dissembled and seeming joys but counterfeit The truth to you Sir is I finde so little signs of content in the bagain I made i' th' morning that I began to repent before Evening Prayer and to shew some fruits of his wilful neglect and wilde disposition more then the day could bring forth to me has now forsook my Bed I know no cause for 't Mrs Low But I 'll be sworn I do Bev. Being thus distrest Sir I desire your comfortable presence and councel whom I know to be of worth and judgment that a Lady may safely impart her griefs to you and commit 'em to the Vertues of Commiseration and Secrecy Your unfortunate Friend The Widow Wife I have took order for your private admittance With a trusty servant of mine own whom I have Plac'd at my Chamber-door to attend your coming He shall not wait too long and curse my slowness Mr Low I would you 'd come away then Bev. How much am I beguil'd in that yong Gentleman I would have sworn had been the perfect abstract Of honesty and mildness 'T is not so Mrs Low I pardon you sweet Brother there 's no hold Of what you speak now you 're in Cupids pound Bev. Blest be the secret hand that brought thee hither But the dear hand that writ it ten times blest Mr Low That 's I still has blest me now ten times at twice Away I hear him coming Mrs Low Strike it sure now Exit Mr Low I warrant thee sweet Kate chuse your best Enter Mr Beveril Bev. Who 's