upon him my nature that he might become my Lord and King Saviour and Redeemer who brake the doors of Brass rescued me from the Rape of Hellish furies cast them out delivered my darling soul from the power of the Dog and barred the Gate that he could enter no more to stuff my thoughts with his detestable injections although he attempted a return Thou hast thrust fore at me oh mine enemy that I might fall but the Lord helped me many a time may I now say have these things afflicted me from my youth many a time have they afflicted me from my youth yet they have not prevailed against me The Plowers plowed upon my back they made long their furrows but the righteous Lord he hath cut asunder the cords of the weeked one I was brought low and the Lord helped me He hath delivered my soul from death mine eyes from tears and my feet from falling Oh Lord my God I will give thanks to thee for ever CHAP. V. Concluding the whole experiment with an account of the unconceivable sweetness of divine consolations the usual consequent of long and sort temptations a more then abundant reason to abide Gods leisure under the heavy load of dâ—sertions Of the cause of writing ANd now at last when the Lord my Lord of whom the Father said sit thou at my right hand until I make thy enemies thy foot-stoolâ— had set my soul at freedom by his mighty power he sent his blessed spirit the holy Ghost that most glorious self evidencing and sweet comforter whose sweetness no heart can conceive but he who hath tasted how good he is who shewed me from the Father and his blessed Son that all the miseries afore mentioned pressing me down were the delusions of Satan and whereas he intended to have made me a shame and reproach to all that should know or hear of my overthrow that now my God hath taken advantage of the greatness of my sins thereby to magnifie his mercy in pardoning thereof according to my cry in the day of my distress and that now I was of Abrahams Family numbred among the spiritual Children of Abraham a priviledge which I often especially under my troubles prized highly and desired earnestly to be partaker off The blessed spirit bearing witness of these things wrought in my soul such unconceiveable joy that in the words of Thomas I cryed out my Lord and my God so ravishing were the kisses of those divine lips of love that my heart was silled with joy unspeakable and glorious my mouth with laughter my body much weakened by the anguish and horror of my soul so that I kept my Chamber for many dayes together was now revived and my youth renewed as the Eagle that casteth her Beak so that I became as lightsome as if I had not known sorrow to the great admiration of my Friends who had known my long confinement to my Chamber by reason of sorrow and heavyness My heart my sorrowful heart of which I was wont to cry out None so fad none so disquieted as thou was now through the joy of the Lord quite altered The spirit of my God now covering me with the glorious robes of his Sons righteousness turned my mourning into dancing put off my Sackcloath and girded me with gladness gave me a garment of praise for the spirit of heavyness so that then and since being upheld by the same hand I could say I carry about me a chearful heart and a much more healthy body notwithstanding the great disappointments I in my worldly condition then met with and still lye under Being now enabled by faith to apprehend my self justified through the righteousness of God even the righteousness of Jesus Christ imputeth to poor sinners the guilt the obligation of my sins to punishment being taken away I can now through the tender mercy of God whereby the day spring from on high hath visited me comfortably give a challenge to Death and the Grave Oh Death where is thy sting oh Grave where is thy victory my dear Lord having ransomed me from the power and fear of the grave and helping me in despight of him that hath the power of death that is the Devil to look upon my self as one of those whom God the Father hath given to the Son as part of the travaile of his soul so that the Lord Christ delights in me as the gift of his Father and the purchase of his own bloud And my God loveth me with the same love wherewith he loveth his Son and all the promises of grace made to sinners in the holy word through Jesus Christ I have an interest in and expect to have fulfilled to me as far as it shall tend to his glory and my good He that gave me his Son will freely also give me all good things Well may I therefore take up the words of the Prophet Oh Lord I will praise thee for though thou wast angry with me thine anger is turned away and thou comfortedst me For the iniquity of my soul thou wast wroth with me and smotâ—st me but now thou hast healed me and restored comforts to me the Lord Jehovah is my strength and song he also is become my salâ—ation I waited patiently for the Lord and he encâ—â—ned his ear to me and heard my cry he drew my feet out of an horrible pit out of the miry clay and hath set me upon a Rock and established my goings What shall I render unto the Lord for all his benefits I will call upon him as long as I live I will pay my vows unto the Lord now in the presence of all his people When the Lord Jesus is pleased to go away to withdraw the comfortable warm beams of his love and presence from the sight and sence of his poor people Joh. 16.6 like the Apostles their hearts are filled with heavyness they think every day a week and every week a month and every month a year the time seemeth tedious till he return till he lifteth up the light of his countenance till he restores comforts to them like the mother of Sisera they are putting forth their heads crying why are his Chariot wheels so long in coming But oh that such would remember what I now find that it is expedient for them that he should sometimes go away from them withholding his consolations for the holy Ghost the Comforter shall one time or other come to such as wait for it with such joy and peace that passeth all understanding of eye ear and heart of man And then long time spent in waiting shall seem but a little moment Is 40 2. and they shall receive double pay for all the punishments of their iniquities The Children of this world in this are wiser in their generation then the Children of light no discouragement of wind or rain can make them forbear their seasons of sowing in hope nor can the interposition of many perillous months delay work a dissolution of the hope that
that heavy hand of temptation which lyeth upon them to draw the natural principle of self-love to a composition and rather then remain a close prisoner in such bondage to change it for a Vassallage to one of these common principles of Hell 1. That there is no such thing as Heaven nor Hell 't is a meer fixion and therefore but a meer folly to trouble our selves about them Or else 2. T is better for a Man to take his share in the pleasures of the flesh allowing God and our selves so much service and care as our Forefathers and others have done And not concern himself so deeply in the affairs of eternity If I am elected I cannot be damned if reprobated not saved To these or some such prisons the Devil shifts souls wearied with terrors And it matters not him much in which they are may he but be the keeper 4. Or lastly if all these fail yet Satan hath a further design If he find that the Garrison cannot be won by storm that still there is a resistance made against all his attempts He cannot drive the soul to utter despair of mercy or to yeild its members servants to divers lusts and pleasures Yet nevertheless he hopes that the breaches the wide gashes that he now makes may be a way for entrance in times to come That a long life shall not be able to make them up again he knows that upon every falling into sin he shall have a fâ—ll blow at the soul thus troubled and that the greatness of the doubts now raised may prove a mighty impediment to the hearts closing with Christ by faith This last have I found most true in my own case This first delusion ministred much strength to every following temptation 3. Satan the great enemy intended nothing but my final overthrow not the least good but the greatest evil and yet shall I here make bold to tell the world how much I stand bound to fear the Lord for his goodness in delivering me and disposing my fears for good For. 1. As soon as it pleased God that my body recovered out of its distemper I lay under much trouble by reason of the great fears before menâ—â—oâ—ed and this made me seek out for some advice now for my wracked mind And acquainting that blessed Man of God Dr. 〈◊〉 with my trouble he gave me to understand that iâ— was a meer delusion of Satan 2. I found iâ— my self serious thoughts of my eternal state of Heaven and Hell attended with endeavours to seek the one and avoid the other 3. And I sound not only the Lord comming iâ— by his bâ—essed spirit with conviction of sin but also reâ—sing in my soul an high estimation of his love and favour 4. I found my self stirred up to pray God enabling me by his blessed spirit therein so that now it might be said as once of Paul behold he prayeth I could then have spoken to God as one speaketh to his friend 5. Open profession of the truth of the Gospel followed hereon Gladly bearing the reproachful name of Puritan which was the name in fashion in those dayes to revile professors withall 6. Prayer in my Family was set up also by me when young and unmarried 7. Former sins did not only dislike me but also former pleasures and pastimes As Bowling and Cocking c. And. 8. Association with the godly was my delight the Men that feared God were the Men of my choice but especially with much content did I embrace acquaintance with and was much helped by one Mr. The. Hibben of Rowton above others a Gentleman eminently worthy for profession of the Gospel 9. Frequent was my attendance upon the word preached Often went I to Brompton Brrian to hear that holy Man of God Mr. Peirson So that by this time methoughts I could discern a work of God wrought in me whereby I found the new Man as well as the old 10. Going to Brompton I not only founâ— much help for my Soul by the Ministry of the word but it pleased God also to bring me into acquaintance with a noble Family eminent in those dayes for Religion Sr. Robert Harleigh Out of which he gave me a meet helper both for body and Soul Here was the first conflict wherein Satans malice was over matched by the super-abundant grace of God CHAP. II. Victory in and over temptation matter of admiration Satan disappointed in particular temptations Doth not cease them but suspend them Security the unbeseeming consequent of spiritual deliverance The Mother of more and greater miseries Satans Art may vary but his Aime that same the writers experience herein WHo can but admire the Wisdom Might and Mercy of God clearly manifesting it self in holding up poor weak and worthless Man under any one of all those heavy conflicts he hath with the powers of darkness Oh what policy what power what poison is every stratagem of the Devil managed with all how doth that evil one set his All at work that poor Man might be caught kept and confounded by him at once And that temptation might not rise up a second time But such is the heart of God towards Man in misery that he stands not by as an idle spectator of our sufferings but teacheth our hands to war and our singers to fight He makes us to understand what we could hardly believe 2 Pet. 2.9 That he knows how to deliver out off temptation That there is no desperate case with him That our unbelief cannot render the faith of God of none effect 2 Tim. 2.13 That though we believe not yet he abideth faithful and cannot deny himself such may be the anguish of spirit and cruel Bondage under disertion that as the Children of Israel could not hearken to the words of promise spoken to them by Moses Exod. 6.9 Though no condition more needing it so faith of Adoption may be much decayed the Breasts of promise may not let down their wonted consolations The Soul seemeth to be in a languishing condition by reason of its dissability to imbrace the promises 'T is brought to its wits end come to the utmost of faith and patience And yet for all this our God abideth faithful he cannot deny himself he is the only wise God And a Saviour of such as are gone to the utmost end of faith ready to drop away into total unbelief He that can but place Affiance in God the Saviour though God hath not planted Assurance of Salvation in him may yet abide confident of deliverance Dwell in stay thy self upon God by this faith and thou shalt find the want of Assurance may damnifie but cannot damne thee Mark well that passage of the Psalmist Ps 91.1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall ledge under the shadow of the Almighty Give him the honour of his being The most high And Almightiness shall be thy defence Trust in his mercy and thou shalt not need to tremble at his power But remember
is conceived Jam. 5.7 And yet the ground they go upon affords no such footing for hope and trust as doth that of a Christian Mic. 1.6 how of have they sown much and brought in little whereas a Christian under all the improbabillities of outward sensible appearance hath sufficient cause to be confident of a plentiful harvest Under the furrows of dark providences lie the seed of faithful patient endeavours which shall spring up into light and joy Psal 126.5 And doubtless they that sow in a wâ—t weeping season shall meet with a welcome harvest The smallest seeds of faith and patience shall stretch into certain Sheaves of joy When the earth over-wet with showers is become a standing pool who would adventure to bestow his seed Pains and patience had aâ— such a time the Plowman calls imprudence Be it what it will sure I am he never lyed who hath pronounced Is 32.20 Blessed are ye that sow the seeds of pious endeavours beside all waters of deep and drowning afflictions that send forth thither the feet of the Ox and the Ass Venture then to hold on your way keep hope and trust a going in the paths of duty Deep mire shall one day prove a fruitful soil to thee and the joy of the harvest which is a shouting joy shall so fill thy soul that many years of wearisome waiting shall seem no longer then the shortest night This calling to mind those engagements which I had made unto the Lord in my low estate viz. that if the Lord would deliver me I would declare it to the Sons of men and and whereas the wicked enemy had suggested to me that I should be a shame to my friends and a reproach to religion if the Lord would redeem my soul out of his hands then would I declare abroad the glorious and renowned works and wonders of the lifter up of my head and what a great impostor deceiver destroying and lying Spirit the Devil this enemy to mankind is Hereupon having had help from God I have adventured these few pages into the world may the Lord inherit the praises of his people hereby I â—rall not value the reproaches of his enemies May poor dropping souls understanding how Satan hath dealt come to the sight of the net which he hath laid for them and be perswaded to an holy constancy in resistance I shall be much rejoyced in the success Let the Lord do with me and it as seemeth good in his sight I have enough My true Joseph is yet alive I hope shortly I shall goe up to see him here I shall leave this Pillar of remembrance in the land of the living it is mine Eben Ezer Hitherto hath the Lord helped me A Post-script BEfore I withdraw my hand my earnest desire to promote the welfare of all men in generall but espeacially of such who having given up their names to Jesus Christ lye under the furious assaults of the Devil that common enemy doth mightily ingage me to speak a few words more by way of humble and hearty request That man who hath obtained mercy and cannot shew pitty to others in misery is such a monster that hath no mention in the holy Scriptures nor other reason then to call in question whether his seeming deliverances be not real delusions I would gladly leave a testimony of my dearest love to my Redeemer by laying out my once-doleful now-joyful experience of inexpressible horror of mind for the benefit of three sorts of Christians espeacially 1. First such as at present lye groaning under the heavy burden of a wounded Spirit â—onging for deliverance 2. Secondly such as have once had experience of that sad condition but are now mercifully delivered 3. Such as God hath dealt more gently with not suffering them to fall into those horrible depths of disertion and temptation Into the hands of some or all of these 't is possible these lines may come and then my first and main request which I earnestly beg is this that they would offer up at least one freewill offering of thanksgiving to the mighty God of Jacob the hope of Israel and the Saviour thereof in the time of trouble when they shall read what great things he hath done for me poor sinner My poor stock will never reach to furnish the Alter with sufficient Sacrifices of praise oh help me by glorifying God on my behalf As his mercy hath been abundant towards me so oh that it might be abundant to the glory of him by the thanksgiving of many This being the generall request I shall make a few more particular ones to those three sorts of Professors briefly in order 1. To the poor doubting distressed and almost distracted Conscience Pretious Soul my dear fellow and companion in spiritual tribulation the purchase of the precious bloud of the Son of God! conformist to Jesus Christ in his sore agonies of temptation whom the Devil envyeth hateth and seeketh to destroy I know there is no condition under the Sun hath more need of pity and supplyes of comfort then this of thine and yet I know no condition more rarely pityed or more hardly comforted thy heart knows its own bitterness Thou thinkest so much of this that thou canst relish no sweetness in and therefore wilfully refusest the Cup of sweetest and divine consolation Oh poor soul what weary some hours thou art made to possess how tediously thy dismal nights of terrors pass over thee and thou in them reduced to such confounding streights that whither to fly from or how to stand in the face of Gods conceived displeasure the Devils furious representations or thy own fearful apprehensions thou knowest not These things having been mine old acquaintance I hope with freedome I may be permitted to beg two or three things at your hands 1. That thou wouldest not let this mercyful dealing of God with my soul pass without some thankful acknowledgement of thine Lay aside thy sable weed a little and cloath thy self with the Garment of praise Praise the Lord for his goodness and for his wonderful works to the Children of men Conclude not henceforth thy sores to be incurable nor Gods long stay to be a sign that he will never come Consider what he hath done for me and let that put a little heart in thee to conclude that 't is good to continue yet in a waiting posture for surely he can and will at last do so for all such as wait for him I know how apt such a soul as this will be to varie the case tempted souls shall never want arguments against themselves nor skill to manage them while the Devil hath any Thou wilt be ready to say the case is not the same with thee as 't was with me Either the sin thou art troubled for or the manner of thy troubles seizing and the Devils handling thee under temptation is not the same with mine Something or other will be still found as matter of objection against thy self To run over
Hell Gates and yet are delivered Let me put you in remembrance of these two or three duties 1. Oh see that you ingage your hearts unto the Lord I will love the Lord with my whole heart I will love him dearly Ps 103.1 c. Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name Bless the Lord oh my soul and forget not all his benefits who forgiveth all thine iniquities who healeth all thy diseases who redeemeth thy life from destruction who crowneth thee with loving kindness and tender mercies Oh pray that your love to him who hath delivered your souls from the snares of cruel death and pulled your feet out of the miry Clay where there was no bottom may encrease and abound more and more Josh 24.14 Sincere affections and dissobedience are the only returns that God looks for Deny not these in the highest degree 2. Give up your lives for the Lord. Be content he shall dispose of them in the way he knoweth best for his glory If he shall call you forth to suffer death for a testimony of your love to him and the Gospel of his Son think it not too much for him Well mayst thou undergo ten thousand natural deaths were it possible for Jesus Christs redemption from the hands of thy spiritual enemies is cause enough for thee to serve him without fear of what man can do unto thee Look upon thy past deliverance as things never no never to be forgotten nor sufficiently to be required by thee 3. Take care now thou hast found him whom thy soul loveth oh take care for his undisturbed residence You know what it is to want the comforting presence of Jesus Christ let those who know not the terrors of the Lord and the fearful consequents of his forsakings venture the displeasure of him by their slighting of his precepts and slothfulness in his paths but let not us do so we that know what it is to be thrown into the depths of horror and how hard as well as sweet is our recovery thence oh let not us dare to sleep upon the top of the mast but rather keeping fast hold upon our beloved by the hand of Faith beg of him that he would not depart out of our hearts lay a strict charge over all the cares and comforts and companies and conditions of this life Canticles 2.7 by the Roes and by the Hindes that they stir not up nor awake our Love until he please 4. If the Lord Jesus Christ shall please for his own glory to walk a while out of your hearts again if he shall at any time withdraw the comforts of the Holy Ghost loose not in Satan again by unbelief distress not your selves overmuch by giving way to the least mistrust as if he would never return Ps 77. and more remember his loving kindness and his works and wonders of old think he never goes away but when it is expedient for us Joh. 16.7 and having already sealed us by the holy spirit of promise given us eye-salve enlightning our understandings in the knowledge of his love whereby we are perswaded our names are written in the book of Life Râ—m 11.29 The gifts and calling of God are without repentance 2 Cor. 1.10 He that hath delivered may well be trusted that he will do so again John 10 29. No Man or Devil can take us out of the hands of God John 13.1 Whom be loveth he loveth to the end Phil. 1.6 He that hath begun a good work will carry it on to the day of Christ 5. You have been delivered from the violence of temptations but remember that yet we carry about us such sinful natures the Fruits of our first Parents transgression that would again put up his head against God and his most righteous Laws yea and take part with Satan against him and our selves too there is yet an unregenerate part the remnant of the old Adam remaining in the best and holiest of mâ—n after all the forty years temptations of Israel in an howling wilderness and when they are brought into the Land of rest Judg. 3. yet there the Amorite will be found nothing but dissolution will fetch the leprosie of natural corruption out of our earthly tabernacles Lev. 14.45 and especially will this cursed corruption annoy us with offers to do the same things that Satan before he was dispossessed would have done my experience tells me some of the old filth still sticks behind The wise God will have it so that the vileness and greatness of our old sins might not be forgotten that we may be poised down with humility and put a longing after natures dissolution till which time sin now twisted with our nature will not be removed this remnant of the old man with its stirrings cannot choose but be an heavy burden to the new Rom. 7.24 't is such a body that it made the very soul of a Paul groan and cry out for a deliverance Ex. 17.16 This â—malck God hath sworn it that he will have war with it for evnr As good Souldiers of Christ our Captain let us be perswaded to hold on our war against this party of corruption yet abiding in our natures and in so doing we have the comfort of these ensuing considerations 1. That this remainder of cursed nature though it be not utterly destroyed yet shall it not have dominion over us so as to bring forth Fruits unto death or to be charged upon our persons to condemnation Rom. 8 2. For by Christ our Lord we are dischargea and set at freedom from the Law of sin and death being under the Covenant of grace we have received the spirit of life and power even that blessed spirit that raised our Lord Jesus Christ from the dead which hath quickned us and put life and power into us in a good measure enabling us to crucifie the flesh with its affections and lusts Gal. 5.24 so that its dominion is taken away though its life be continued for a season 2. And it is but for a season that its life is continued in us the war will not hold always there is a time coming when we shall be delivered from this bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the sons of God Rom. 8.19 c. 23. and not onely we but those very Creatures the Heaven and the Earth shall be set free from that bondage of corruption which lyeth upon them by reason of the sin of man in that day we shall be made like unto the Son of God in our measure The transfiguration upon the Mount seemeth to be a resemblance of that glory wherein Jesus Christ shall appear as he was the Son of David when he shall come to take the Kingdom unto himself then shall the poor benighted Sons of the day welcome in that joyful morning with a new Song and Psalms of tryumphant victory in their hands Rev. 15.3 then shall all the enemies of our Souls be totally subdued and even
GODS Wonderful MERCY IN THE MOUNT of woful EXTREMITY OR The Recovered Captive BEING A plain Relation of Gods unspeakable goodness in rescuing one of the meanest of his flock from the paw of the roaring Lyon and pangs of unconceivable horror through long and strong temptations and spiritual desertions Published 1. For the encouragement of poor distressed consciences worried with temptations and almost quite wearied with waiting 2. For a caution to secure sinners lest they also come into such or sorer torment 3. For a call of all in whose hearts are the ways of God to bear a part in the high praises of him whose wonders are in the deep By Charles Langford I will sing of the mercies of the Lord for ever Ps 89.1.17 Knowing the terrours of the Lord we perswade men 1 Cor. 5.11 Thou hast turnea for me Ps 30.11.12 London Printed for Anna Brewster at the Golden bellows in Fore-street at Moor-lanâ—â—end 1672. To the Reader THe ensuing Narrative is intended for the good of all and therefore may well expect freedom from the scornfull censures of any But 't is primarily published for the benefit of such who are apt to think feeling the weight of their own sin as of an heavy burden Psal â—8 4 or the wounds of their own Spirit made by the Arrows of the Almighty sent â—rom the Devils bow and poysoned so that â—hey become fiery darts drinking up the â—pirit Job 6.4 that never any man was in â—uch a case as they none ever went so far â—nto the Valley of the shadow of death and â—eturned alive as they are gone for the â—roken in Spirit those whom the terrours â—f God have to use Hemans words distracâ—d and cut off Ps 88.15.16 for the good of these are the ensuing pages penned and therefore from these may they expect the choâ—â—est entertainment 't is no small favour Heaven shews that besides those fixed monuments of mercy erected in the word oâ— truth such as David Job Heâ—â—an yea and the blessed Jesus all which as they were plunged in the depths of Terrors so were they delivered from their fears every agâ— of the Church should have some living test monies of deep calling unto deep and that as Sathans malice so Gods mercy enduâ—eth for ever that some have deep gashes made upon their peace and those unhealed so long till hope seemeth to be cut off and tâ—e cuâ—ed at the last I am sure will be thy meâ—cy O thou afflicted tossed with Tempest and not comforted however others look upon it Examples in this as in other cases make the deepest impression the understanding here being ever annoyed by the loud and hasty clamours of a misgiving conscience may not be able to make so long a stand as to hear all that the tongue of the Learned have to say for the relief of their weary Souls the judgement must needs be weak when passions are strong Now for such a one to hear that others hunted by the terrors of the Almighty set in array against them to the very brink of desperation and hope even just ready to quit the field have yet through the mercy of the Most High put Sathan to flight won the day recovered their peace and lived in the sweet possession of the Spirit of a sound mind and all this after many a doubtful combate and in a time they looked not for it I say to hear of this exemplefyed in the case of others will at least do thus much service for tottering spirits as to perswade not to make too much hast to run away to hide themselves and that yet there is hope in Israel concerning this thing If in every circumstance of the following Narrative thou find not thy self concerned yet thou wilt in many if thou be one that hast had any experience of the Spirit of Bondage yea and in the main of all thou art troubled in Spirit thy everlasting welfare fare stands bleeding thy hope is giving up the Ghost blasphemous injections the very spirit and humour of hopeless damned Souls haunt and affrighten thy wracked mind thy flesh trembleth for fear of Gods wrathful Judgements all his waves and his billowes pass over thee thou art weary of thy life and yet tormented at the thoughts of death this was the case of the Authour of these following lines 't is hard to conceive a more dangerous condition or that the God of his Salvation should suffer his Faithfulness to thee to fail Wait on the Lord be of good courage Let Satans suggâ—stions be what they will hold this for a certain truth established in the very heavens and irreversible by the gates of Hell Blessed are all they that wait for him Isaiah 30.18 That any should look upon discourses of this kind as matter of scorn and reproachful contempt is matter of sorrow and lamentation that the common enemy to the Race of Adam should find so much Friendship and Folly in the hearts of men yet such there are men that side with their greatest Foe accounting all experiences of this sort as meer Fictions and the issue of a melancholly brain But poor Souls the hour of trembling will come to you at last when you have slept out your sleep upon the lap of lust the Philistines will be upon you and your pleasant dreams of security shall bring you to the King of Terrors let the ensuing narrative be your preservative happy they can discern the vileness of sin and devices of Satan in the clear glass of another Mans Soul confounding terrours one main end of this is thy warning if unhappily thou shalt despise it and thy Faithful Monitor seem to thee as one that mocketh it is no new thing thus it was in the days of Lot Gen. 19.14 even those whose Office should oblige them to better things have been sometimes ignorant in the case of Gods withdrawings Cant. 5.2 smiting and wounding and taking away the Vail have been their work when sympathizing hath been their duty However to be of the Family of Abraham to inherite the blessing is more then sufficient Armour against the persecuting scoffs of Ishmael As for such as truly fear God 't is hoped they will not be offended to see that done by any which is incumbent upon all to declare the works of God with rejoycing and to tell what great things he hath done for our Souls Mark 5.14 is a Law shall stand in Force when the Heavens and Earth shall reel into a change nor will they stumble at the plainness of delivery all have not alike abilities to express themselves Exod. 18.5 gaudy paints of eloquence may sometimes be taken for Ornaments but they are best put off when we have so nearly to do with God Goats Hair and Badgers Skins Exod. 25.45 where there are no better are a good offering for the Sanctuary And to speak truly 't is not in well set words and sentences but in clear experiences true learning doth consist To say any thing
of the Authour is needless read him a man he is of long standing in profession a Follower of God both up-hill and down-hill for many years one who hath not liv'd so ill as to have all men speak well of him nor common frailties excepted as to deserve the contrary If his zeal for God hath expos'd him to the reproach of some well may he bear it He desires to let the World see nothing in him but his infirmities the rest is God's and not his A man whom long diseases of Soul and many Paroxcisms or heights of distemper have annoyed but not left by the great Physitian How he came at first to any sence of Religion in truth and with how much difficulty through the strong temptations of Sathan he attained to a comfortable hope of the love of God what was the course taken by him for his relief how Faith in the promises and submission to all Gods dealings were and are to be exercised are the cheif things here spoken of The Lord make it as profitable to thee in reading as he testifies they were to him in the experiencing who after many weak fits of Faith and Faithfulness in weakness rejoyceth in hope of the glory of God That thou maist be bettered by this publication is the Authours design and the hearty prayer of To the Saints of the Most High God especially the afflicted in Conscience lying under sad desertions and groaning for deliverance Grace Peace and Victory be given to you from the Lord Jesus Christ our Saviour HAving received so glorious a mercy as to be delivered from many delusions and temptations of Sathan under which I lay for many years I look upon it as my great duty to manifest Gods gratious dealings with me to the Sons and Daughters of Men and so much the rather do I thus judge because the wayes of God to me have not been common or ordinary wayes they are but a few of Gods Children as the Authour of the book entituled Dr. Tho. Goodwin A Child of Light walking in darkness witnesseth whom their Father casts into the belly of Hell deep Waters where they feel no bottom letting out Sathan upon them and the manifestation of his glorious grace in saving such to the utmost is the main end one of them he aimeth at in dealing thus with any 't is no wonder Satan should have an access to and converse with the spirits of men and many times when they know it not for he is a Spirit or that with so much vigour and terrour his temptations in times of desertion should be accompanyed for by the evidence of Gods word ana his own ways 't is certain that his work and business is to drink up and devour his nature is not only that of a Roaring Lyon for power and terrour but also of a subtle Serpent for pollicy and poison his season and opportunity is when we are weakest and at the worst and night and day doth he keep watch and ward for taking all the advantage that may be if God for needful ends turns but his back upon his child hides his face from him forsakes him but for a little moment the enemy waiteth at the door to break in as a mighty flood If by Feavor Melancholly or other bodily distempers the natural spirits which are the â—ursitors between the body and the Soul are made uncapable of performing their Office aright then is he sure to be up and doing every affiction is an hour of temptation the dark is his delight now is the time for him to lay his delusions upon the fantasie and to charge sin upon the Soul when he findeth it most unable to resist and ready to embrace and believe it To bring the Soul in to inextricable troubles is his design to accomplish with more then conceiveable pollicy cruelty and mallice are set at work for he is the red Dragon who hath all along traded in persecution of the woman and her seed Christ and his Church For the space of fourty years or thereabouts hath it pleased the hand that took me out of my Mothers Womb to train me up and lead me along in this uncomfortable Wilderness of temptation though I cannot say that in all these years he hath left me to the violence of spiritual conflicts for then the burthen had been too heavy for flesh to stand under so long yet must I needs say my clearest day all that time was but dark and however I seemed to others in point of comfort outwardly sure I am my soul enjoyed not her rest nor could I ever say I was all that while any more then a Prisoner of hope still subject unto bondage and not discharged of the debt nor delivered from my fears 'T was but an hard shift I made to hold up my head when I was at best my worst cannot be expressed until now at last that God for whom I wâ—ited in the way of his Judgements and from whom were my expectations in the use of appointed means all this while came and was found of me when I looked not for him delivered me from my strong Enemy set my Feet upon a Rock and established my goings The same God that was my stay in the day of calamity is now my Glory and the lifter up of my head he is my strength and song and is now become my Salvation Upon the whole I may truly say as once Job said I have heard of God by the hearing of the Ear but now mine Eye hath seen him now hath he made known himself to me by his sweet Spirit and by the manifestation and operation of his glorious power in giving me deliverance And I can say by experience more then ever that now I know there is a God so also now I know there is a Devill such have been the delusions cursed injections of blasphemous thoughts and dreadful temptations wherewith he hath endeavoured to fill my Soul till the day the Lord by his great power delivered me out of his hands that I have cause to know him and to make him known as far as I am able to the World which is the endeavour of this ensuing Relation Every Child of God I am perswaded is somewhat acquainted with the wounds of conscience but God who best knows the frame of his people and what they can bear and for what work they are intended measures not to all alike Some are made to sip onely of the Cup of Trembling while others are made to drink down larger draughts every Soul hath his tast To much as will serve to make an experiment of the evil and bitter nature of sin but some have more then others and though every man is apt to magnifie his own miseries into a Non such because the heart knows his own bitterness and a wounded Conscience who can bear yet without breach of modesty I think I may bolaly affirm that few of the Sons of Men have been in greater danger or more beholden
to the Deliverer To have God deserting a Soul and permitting Satan to Rage and Rule so far that it believeth all his suggestions and is not able to believe the contrary expecting nothing but the lowermost Hell This was my condition and when I have told you so though you might perceive something of my sad and wearysome Life yet cannot the misery be expressed by me nor conceived by you a thousand worlds had I been owner would I have given for a Free Spirit a heart enabled to shake off the meditating and pondering upon Hell torments as the things that methoughts I should for ever dwell with Now I say when all this lay upon my Soul and I expected no deliverance then for the Lord my God to surprize and break in upon me with so glorious and unexpected a mercy who can but set forth the loving kindness of so gratious a God and Saviour I may therefore boldly say to any poor Soul let his distress be never so great yet if he have but so much faith as to believe the Scriptures and that Jesus is the Son of God and died for sinners though he hath no assurance for himself no more hopes then I had not a spark of Grace in his own apprehension Is 50.10 Yet let him trust in the name of the Lord and stay himself upon his God Let him wait for the Lord will come Is 8.17 And such a faith is sufficient for such a Soul in that condition In my distress before my God gave me experience of Light Love and Salvation I engaged by promise that if my God would give me deliverance I would declare to his Saints abroad what he had done for me and that as Satan suggested to me before that I should be a shame to Professors so would I declare his wiles and devices and what a lying unclean and murdering Spirit he is that in what I could his designs of ruine against poor Souls might be frustrated and the Lord having heard my vows setting me at liberty a strong temptation fell upon me to pray that God would assist me in performance of them nor were my prayers single or alone I had the help of such as feared God about me my body at that time was very much disordered Yet he that prepared my heart to pray enclined his Ear to hear enabling with speed and ease to the wonder of some to Write the ensuing discourse I here present to open view with much hope that the same hand that made it easie to me will make it useful to many who may be troubled in Spirit For the comfort of such and the discovery of Sathans subtilty the good of them and hurt of none but Him are the ends I have in publishing this experimental Relation begging that the Lord would exalt his great and glorious Name in magnifying his Mercy to all Eternity by dealing thus with many poor Souls as he hath done with his poor servant Charles Langford The Captive delivered Or a Relation of the great things which the Lord the mighty God of Heaven and Earth did for his poor Servant C. L. in delivering him out of the midst of violent and dreadful temptations April 16. 1669. witnessing to his Soul the greatness of his mercy in the midst of his sins and magnifying his free-grace in sealing it with the comfortable perswasion of his being one of Abrams believing seed and this when under great unworthiness and unbelief all which he now desires in thankfulness and according to his vows in the day of his distress to declare to the people of God and to as many as shall read it CHAP. I. Of the Original cause of all troubles what share the Authour had therein Why seeing all men are by nature the children of wrath do not all thus feel the weight of it the particular occasion of his first awakening Satans design in it Gods over-ruling and turning it to good VVHen I consider the sad estate wherein all the sinful Sons of Adam lye how through the most righteous judgement of God for our wilful transgression of his holy Law which he gave for a rule and tryal of our obedience miserably they are deprived of a most blessed estate Gods Image and blessed presence once had and enjoyed and how dangerously depraved and swollen up into an enmity against God their Maker their nature is I am so far from wondring at the horror that sometimes here and there one is surprized withall that I must confess 't is a far greater wonder to me that any are found to live at ease Dread and horror are the best fruit that can be had for eating of the forbidden tree If meer justice ruled the world the thickets would be every mans habitation Magor Missabib might be the fittest name for Adams race Jer. 20.3 fear round about now degenerated into a brood of vipers 'T is a wonder sin hath not found out and frightned the sinner upon earth that caught him in and cast him out of Paradice If it spared him not there how should it pass him by here if it turned him out of his walk his most delightful walk with the God of bliss there why hath it not tumbled him down into a bed of fire â—ere sure I am sorrow and distress of conscience is as much an attendant upon sin and guilt as the shadow is of the body as hear is of the fire as dark shadows were of the night by this the children of the day are transformed into those of the night and the heirs of God into haters of God and children of wrath and such are all men without exception in a natural condition These considerations make it less to be wondred at I say that any man should groan under the burthen of sin which lyes so heavy upon all it being a far greater wonder as I said before that the just holy and righteous God should so long suspend the execution of the antient sentence past upon Adam and his posterity or that any of the inhabitants of the earth should not sear their dropping into Hell and dread their danger I for my part must to the honour of my strong Redeemer take to my self the guilt of that first transgression and acknowledge that from the loins of the first Adam hath a venemous empoisoned nature been conveyed unto me Let no man say or think that any part of my past misery sprung from any other fountain then this evil nature I know that amidst the numberless number of Satans artifices this is one of his main engines whereby he would keep poor captive souls from the ways of life and peace He labours to bring up an evil report of such ways representing religion as the great incending as well in the Consciences as in the Kingdoms of Men and with as much confidence avers it as wicked Ahab did of the good Prophets that profession of the Gospel attended with it's required strictness is the grand trouble of the world
saith blessed Mr. Bradford it must be such a trust as may be called a Dwelling Here you must stay here you must abide not suffering your Souls to be outed by violence of temptation nor voluntary giving up the possesion â— is a wonder I say again that when the wind of temptation blows high and strong Psal 62.9 Poor Man lighter then a feather lighter then vanity should be any note found Or that grace should ever be able to shew its head when fiery scorching heats of temptation smite the heart Yet so it is The secret of the most high is a place above all destructive storms the shadow of the Almighty is no Jonahs Gourd but a thick a safe shelter from the scorching beams of temptation the fiery darts of the Devil Wait on the Lord oh my Soul hope in his mercy here stay here wait here dwell in waiting let no force nor fraud of Hell perswade thee to depart hence and thou art safe for ever I have shewed already how Satan missed of his design which he had upon me in his first delusion He would have had me being greatly afrighted at the thoughts of Hell to give up my hopes of Heaven and as a means to effect that did to my apprehension present to my view the Lord Christ departing from me This he did whiles I was under bodily weakness from which God mercifully set me free But as I said before and find since by long and lamentable experience his malicious purpose in that delusion did not end when the terror of it was abated His practice upon me so filled my thoughts for many years after that it wonderfully hindred me from receiving my Lord Christ in that faithfulness as I should have done He departed from me so as that the violence of his temptations were nothing so great as in the time when he first was let loose upon me but so much of them still stuck and staid behind as did make me drive on but heavily in the wayes of God filling me with many slavish fears and doubts and thereby making my closure with Jesus Christ upon the offer of the Gospel the more difficult and his own entrance at another season more possible and easy The Lord indeed gave me a gratious deliverance but Satans war with poor souls is not ended after the first battle His hopes are that that fort which is not won at first onset may be conquered at last He was not out of hope of finding a fitter season to renew his temptations against Christ the head though he found he had enough of him in the first Combate Luke 4.13 The text saith when the Devil had ended all the temptations he departed from him for a season How little doth the thoughts of this affect our hearts we are apt to fall asleep as soon as the fit of trouble is over as if our enemy were afraid to shew himself any more or as if his second attempts would be no worse then the first or we our selves in a better posture for resistance Whereas there is nothing more true then the contrary nor any thing more unbeseeming a Christian then to forget his past dangers or remit his dilligeâ—ne and slacken his hand in services of his God and his pretious soul To grow careless negligent and secure after such deliverances or indeed at any time Is 1. Sinful 1 Thes 5.6 Let others sleep as they will Jesus Christ will not have his people do so Math. 26.41 To watch is a duty then which none more frequently enjoyned A duty that carryeth much mercy in the bowels of it A watchful frame will beget and maintain a praying frame wherever it is And both together will be a good means if not to keep off yet at least to keep up the soul under the heavy load of temptation our blessed Lord who himself hath suffered being tempted and is able to succour us who are tempted Heb. 3.18 Hath yet thought it fit to employ poor souls this way during their lucid intervals and quiet hours Encouraging us thereunto by this It may be a preservative from entring into temptations Watch and pray and pray least ye enter into c. Math. 26.41 2. A careless behaviour after deliverance is not only sinful but foolish The folly of it appeareth in these considerations 1. The Devil himself is not at quiet he is rallying up his forces after every Conquest he is renewing his war again with greater fury What he doth in this matter he knoweth he shall gain nothing by but the fulfilling of his malicious and revengeful pleasure in the downfall of our immortal souls And shall he be thus active in a matter of so small advantage to himself and we remain stupid when the gain is an immortal matchless gain and that our own gain too oh how unbeseeming how foolish a thing is this we may well collect how Satan takes his ejectments out of the souls and bodies of Men by the account that the Disciples brought back to their great Master touching the success of their ministry Luke 10.17 Lord say they even the Devils are subject to us through thy name This was the return they made and the text saith 't was with joy Christ allows it to be matter of rejoycing because hardly effected v. 18. And he said unto them I beheld Satan as lightening fall from Heaven To be permitted to rule in man is the Devils Heaven To be cast out thence is a torment next to Hell It is not more contrary to the nature of flame to move downward then to that evil spirit to be removed out of his place in man meer force mighty force must fetch him thence his fall is as the fall of lightening 2. It animates and armes our enemy for a sooner and sorer onset Satan needeth not stay long to find advantages against a sleepy soul The bed of sloathful security will aford room enough for him but none for Jesus Christ And the onset is like to be more sore as well as more soon Old sores not healed every touch goes to the heart Cant. 3.1 24. Ch. 5.2 c. The spouse had more a do to get â—id of her second disertion then of the first although victorious in both Security and unwary walking in a time of peace when there is liberty and leisure to fortify our selves is but a sorry posture for such especially whose enemies are upon the march Of all enemies none carry greater dread or greater danger then those that come on the sudden Gen. 49.17 As Dan that Serpent in the way and Adder in the path dealt with the men of Laish who dwelt careless quiet and secure Judg. 18.7.10.27 So the Devil that old Serpent the fiery red Dragon abours to do with souls negligent to secure â—heir spiritual peace In a word an heart so stupid after deliverance as not to be deeply and durably affected with its past danger and future duty of love to Jesus Christ and pressing after a more distinct
this Amalek of inbred corruption against which we have been fighting with the sword of the Spirit many a weary day Numb 24.20 I say then this Amalek the first of the nations that warred against Israel our souls his end shall be that he be destroyed for ever 3. Such a sence of sin remaining in us as hinders our rejoycing in expectation of the future glory or joyful thanksgiving for our present deliverances is not our duty but our sin God will not be robbed of his glory under a pretence of mourning for his dishonour as soon as God the Father hath delivered us from the power of darkness and translated us into the Kingdom of his dear Son Col. 1.12 13. 'T is then our duty to give thanks to him who hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance among the Saints in light He that readeth the book of the Acts and considereth how the holy Ghost takes notice of the affection of joy in the converts of those times Act. 2.46 Act. 8.8.39 Act. 9.31 Act. 16.34 may readily conclude that it is as natural for babes in Christ as soon as they are born to rejoyce as it is for others to cry The life of a real Christian should be a continual holy-day And therefore let us keep the feast according to that of our Apostle 1 Cor. 5.8 And follow the advice of that holy man Mr. Downam to that purpose in his Christian warfare who himself was not only troubled with this old man but also with blasphemous suggestions as he himself told me many years past when I went to seek comfort in my condition Let us submit lye down acquiese and be satisfied in the wisdom and goodness of God whose providence is every where and over ruleth all things in Heaven and earth for his own glory and his peoples good And rejoycing in our hopes of glory and interest in all the blessed promises of the word of God so go on in our Christian warfare with good courage not feating men or Devils as to perform out duties towards God and reach out after the end of our faith the salvation of our souls Christ in his word hath given us good assurance of our obtaining this In fidelity is the Devils greatest engine to destroy our rejoycing of hope Would the Lord but go on with his Conquest over unbelief and raise our faith into a more sollid substance of things hoped for Heb. 11.1 And a clearer evidence of things not seen Would he but teach us how to live by faith how rich a living would it afford us how sweetly might we in the contemplation of the truth and worth of that promised glory triumph over all adversities That state wherein poor man shall behold the face of the blessed God in such a fullness that the glorious Angels Heb. 2.16 are not capable of the like man who hath a nearer relation to Jesus Christ hath also a nearer standing to the very throne then the blessed Angels themselves Rev. 4.4 c. is so transporting so ravishing in the foresight thereof that we may well take up that triumphant song Oh Death where is thy stâ—ng oh Grave where is thy victory 1 Cor. 15.55 Behold what manner of love the Father hath loved us withall that we should be called the Sons of God Now are we the Sons of God And it doth not yet appear what we shall be but we know that when he shall appear we shall be like him for we shall see him as he is Oh! the length the heighth the breadth and depth the fulness of that love of Christ that passeth knowledge Now I come to the third sort of Professors â—nd they are such as have never been greatly â—roubled who though they have been scared â—nd lightly touched by the Arrows of the Almighty yet cannot say they have stuck fast â—ithin them and that the Poison thereof â—ath at any time drunk up their spirits To â—hese my request is that they would suffer a â—ord of warning from one who hath more â—â—eply drunk of the Cup of trembling That â—â—up which his Lord and master drank to the â—ottom that so in a little he might be conâ—â—rmable to his head and having obtained â—ercy might be found faithful The main of all I have to say to such is â—â—at my hearty prayer to God for them is â—â—at they all may be strengthened with all might according to his glorious power unto all patience and long suffering with joyfulness Col. 1.11 That they may walk worthy of the Lord in all well pleasing Remembring 1. The gentler dealings of the Lord with them then with others calls for hearty acknowledgement of thanksgiving Judg. 8.16 He might have taught you with the bryars and thorns of the Wilderness whereas he hath led you with the gentle cords of a man Hos 11.4 Spared you as a man spareth his Son that serveth him Mal. 3 17. He hath made you free without serving a long and hard Apprenticeship under the yoke of bondage He hath gone an easier way with yoâ— then the way of the Philistins Exod. 13.17 you have not seen warr as others have done Let the miseries of me and others provokâ— you to thankfulness and fruitfulness in everâ— good work 2. Remember your condition is not yet 〈◊〉 safe your danger is not so farr over but thâ—â— you have need of caution your great caâ—â— should be that your latter end might be peaâ—â— Prize the peace of your Conscience aâ—â— while you are in with God oh keep in wiâ—â— him still if you let sin in you drive God 〈◊〉 of your souls And when he is gone all yoâ—â— peace is gone all your comfort of hope is gone too A privation of the light of his countenance will beget a dismal night of horror sin will tumble you down from your Heaven of Communion with God and then the valley of the shadow of death will be your walk and Hellish fiends shall frighten you there with continual alarums of your falling lower into the depths of Hell And how long it may be thus with you who can tell oh how will you be able to bear such changes as these are learn of me and others in like case and be wise think not that your present favour of men or gain of Silver and Gold or flattering pleasures of vanity will make you satisfaction for the harms done by sin Or that the remembrance of these will ransome you from or purchase you the least gentler usuage under the hand of terror Your profession is no priviledged condition Sin can find out the sinner even when he hath taken Sanctuary in Sion Is 33.14 Nothing but righteousness can deliver from death Prov. 10 2. Be found any where or doing any thing else and be sure your sin will find you out Num. 32.23 Those things that appear to thee to be plainly sinful or of the lawfulness whereof thou makest a doubt peremtorily refuse the one and patiently forbear till thou art well
satisfied in the other or eâ—se thou playest the Bedlam in hazarding the light of Gods countenance Hazarding nay if thou belong to God sure sure suffering one time or other and in some degree or other under the sad forsakings of the peace of thy own Conscience and the grieved blessed spirit thy Comforter Near relation to God will not carry thee an inch the further from his sore chastisements Judgement begins fiâ—st at the house of God 1 Pet. 4.17 You only have I known of all the Families of the Earth therefore will I punish you for all your iniquities Amâ— 3 2. Christians advanced to greater heights of gifts and grace then others Mat. 11.23 had need look better to their standing then others for if they fall it will be lower then others Such falls though it may not break the neck 't wil be sure to break the bones Psal 51.8 He said well but not all That 't is better for a man to loose a whole estate then to tell one lye But I say were the whole world a mans own estate t were better bid an everlasting adieu to it all let Wife and Children fare as they will then provoke one single God to be gone in his displeasure If he goes I partly can tell you what that is 't is that which I am not able to tell you for the greatness of its misery This is thy Benjamin If thou art bereaved of this then thou art bereaved indeed Gen. 43.14 3. Be ready to speak and spend to say and do all that you can for God Your goodness cannot extend to God but there are Saints in the Earth Ps 16.2 let these be to thee the excellent ones in these take thou thy whole delight By liberal things you may be made to stand Isa 32.8 God will not cast them out of his favour who have room in heart and house to entertain his Ministers cast out of all for Conscience sake Even Moab might look for a stability of his throne upon these terms Isa 16.4 5. Unmercifulness to the Ambassadours of Christ will turn his love into displeasure Luk. 10 16. He that troubles Kingdoms for unkindnesses shewed to these Ps 105.15 will not surely be behind with thee for thy love to them To see godly rich men miserable in the daâ— of their bretherens calamity is such a fight that the times of the Apostles had not the like Acts 4.32 Nor can disability to spare for such uses be well aledged while needless feasting unnecessary attendance costly apparel rich presents to great men purchasing of Lands are found among them Le ts take a measure of the greatness of this sin by the proceedings of the day of judgement Where sins of omission make up the whole inditement Mat. 25.41 c. Christ in his Ministers Christ in his members may be poor and sick and in Prisons and in want of Cloathing Slight him now and it shall not be forgotten You may hear of it when you would not consider well hath the long enjoying of the Gospel taken away the sweetness of it should it not be as sweet to you now as ever it was are not we as much concerned in it as they were in primitive days expect we not now as great rewards as they did then and have we not as good security for the rich returns of such disbursments as ever they had a Disciple of Christ a Prophet of God though but so nominally melted into wants and misery by the scorching beams of persecution is excellent water to cast your bread upon Eccles 11.1 When harvest comes you shall see what mighty Sheaves what full measures heaped and pressed down your small expence of bread-corn will amount unto He that cannot give a little how will he be able to sell all Mark 10.21 Let him that would have a Heaven of peace within here and peace above for ever think of these things 4. Pray oh pray and add to prayer watchfulness that he enter not into temptation Mat. 26.41 Fervent Prayer can do much with God and watching conduceth much to the fervor of our prayers Watchfulness will prevent the terror and danger of sudden surprizes It gives a seasonable alarme to the sleepy soul to stand to its arms He that knows what it is to pray in the Spirit Eph. 6.18 and how to watch thereunto with all perseverance hath such a jewel of grace that will preserve all other graces safe This is the Life-guard while our King walketh in his Galleryes Cant. 7.5 'T is that which though it cannot absolutely free the soul from the plots of the World Flesh and Devil will enable it to withstand them all Eph. 6.13 and stand fast after all This is truly the Wine of Angels and Poison of Devils In brief then Remember that you never suffer Satan to prevail with you for the laying aside of this blessed duty he will set hard upon you for that end Unworthyness of Person want of comfort weakness of faith unsuccessfulness after all one thing or other will the Devil plead to make thy tempted soul restrain prayer before God If he can but bring thee to let fall thy hands he knows what will be the issue of the battle Amalek did not more surely prevaile against the Armies of Israel then he will against thee Exod. 16.11 Oh! then pray and pray again lead us not into temptation My woful experience bids me tell you that 't is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God It may be by these means you may be kept from entring into the terror of temptation Having now ended all that I have to say to those who in sincerity making profession of the ways of God are called by his name My tender love to the glory of God the God of my salvation and my compassion of the souls of poor impenitent sinners puts me upon an adventure to write a few more words Who knoweth but some one or other of these may read what I have here written and in so doing see the case they stand in to be an evil case And what cause they have hearing what the sence of sin hath wrought in others with all their might and main to turn back from their eager persuit of perishing pleasures and â—â—y to Jesus Christs Person promises and paths to save themselves from the wrath that is to come Poor sinners be not offended at the name I could be willing to purchase a better title for you even the worst of you all with the expence of prayers and tears I reproach you not while I thus bespeak you nor factiously and proudly would I insinuate as if I or any upon nature's account deserved a better name or as if different sentiments about lower matters in Religion were a sufficienâ— cause to give out such wide distinguishing titles alas 't is no such matter I mean no other then such whose sence and feeling of the heavy weight of sin hath been so little that to this day
it had before The Flowers and Herbs and Spices did as liberally send abroad their sweet Odours as they did before The sight wanted nothing of that compleatest beauty which clad the whole Creation It had the same ravishing Object discerning Organ and diffusing Medium the eye saw the Sun shone the creatures shewed themselves as much as they did before And yet poor Adam could not take that delight in any thing as he took before oh monstrouâ— Oh astonishing change what will not a guilty Conscience do when sin entred into the world what a death came upon all the comforts that were in the world and now what footsteps of melancholly canst thou find here it is probable that he who came but newly warm out of his makers hands so exactly tempered as might have made him live a life of immortallity should thus be astonished and câ—ushed into amazing dread upon the juddain and all by the abounding of a melancholick humour away with this conceit Rather think what sad work sin will one day or other make upon the soul that maketh not a speedy return and an holy timely resistance against it 3. But still thou art of opinion that 't is melancholly that doth all this mischief amongst the Sons of Adam however it fared with their Father well be it so but tell me then dost thou think that it is not possible for theâ— to fall into the like condition is not the God with whom thou hast to do the God of nature as well as the God of grace and therefore able to prohibite the comfortable influence of and suffer discords and disorders to arise in both he is able to transform thee into a breathing Statue to make this jollity and roaring mirth to hide its head and hold its peace while sorrow and sadness tribulation and anguish gnaw upon thine heart he is able to cut off the spirit of Princes Ps 76.12 Kings cannot stand before him they that have the greatest advantages and priviledges above all other men to solace themselves in the abundance of Earthly delights do little think how easily God can bring them down without hands he can smite thy heart with melancholly as well as others 't is but for him to cross thee in the thing thou settest thine heart upon and where art thou then no further proof of this is needed then that of Saul A man considering to what by whom over whom he was raised that might have as well expected a peaceable continuance in his great and unsought-for Royalty as any other Monarch And yet you find it otherwise God for his neglect of waiting patiently and believingly takes away his Kingdom puts him under the rule of an evil spirit 1 Sam. 16.14 The spirit of the Lord departed from him and the evil spirit from the Lord terrified troubled him Thus you see 't is not easie to dally with sin God can make the sinner quickly weary of his life by withdrawing the comfort and quiet of it and filling it with so much terror and horror that there shall not be the least room left for pleasures I told you of Nebuchadnezzar of Cain Bellshazzer and Judas and now of Saul and you your selves may possibly remember what doleful examples have been in your own knowledge how those who spent their days in pleasure putting Heaven to defiance by their ungodly conversations have some of them at least been glad to be beholden to the Knife to the Halter to the Water to the Sword to the Bullet c. to help their tormented soules out of their weary bodies So exquisite is that torture arising from an awakened Conscience that it puts the patient upon a miserable choice of ending his present agonies with the adventure of an infinitely more worse rather then abide the woe that is therein Poor man such a thing as this can the hand of the Lord once lifted up against thee bring upon thee Thou thinkest thou hast little cause to fear falling into the depths of terrors because resolved to avoid melancholly by a merry life Thou conceivest that to be the only cause of any ones distress and therefore not so much to be feared But were this true alasâ— thou hast the greater cause to sear Thine enemy is within thy own bowels As Physick doth not always preserve him who with the greatest care and constancy observeth its rules but oftentimes apparently brings to an untimely end so carnal joyes do by inward peace preserve it they may a while but many times destroy it by provoking the just God to arise in his wrath But however this is most certain corporal medicines cannot immortalize any mans person nor can carnal mirth any mans peace assuredly God will break that peace that is not purchased by the bloud of Christs Cross One time or other call it melancholly or what you will that fit of fears shall so closely follow the now presumptuous soul that no carnal no corporal cordial nothing but a touch of that hand that cast down will be able to rid away Such an evil that no King can cure but he whose prerogative it is to kill and make alive out of whose hand none can deliver Deut. 32.29 6. Remember judgement is already gone out against thee the sentence wants nothing but execution The righteous Law of God which he is resolved to magnifie and make it glorious hath already declared what shall be the end of impenitency Bless not thy self with vain thoughts that God will spare any one for his greatness or for his goodness or his meanness or for any thing but his own Sons righteousness and such also must not go free without their share of a wounded Conscience 4. especial hours of temptation At the begining of Spiritual life or the end of natural or upon some hainous fin committed or heavy afliction let out God usually at one of these times more or less will have every one to know by sad experience that he himself is a righteous sin-hating God that the Devil is a malicious soul-hunting enemy that they themselves are in a miserable and forlorn condition without a multitude of tender mercy no way to be had but by a Christ The Law spares none and the Law-maker is a God of truth that will keep up the authority and honour of his own sayings to a little Oh! take the book of the Law in your hands then and let the truth of that strike such a terror into thee that may make thee to betake thy self to the love and life of Christ with strong cryes to save thee from the terror of that wrath that is to come If you will not hearken unto me and will not do all these Commandments And if you shall despise my statutes or if your soul abhor my judgements so that you will not do all my Commandments but that ye break my Covenant I also will do this unto you I will even appoint over you terror Levit. 26.14 15 16. If there be among you a
again endeavouring by his old way to carry on his former designs and as I have declared his fore-laying the way for the catching of poor sinners before sin committed I shall now speak a word or two of his methods and devices in the pursuing the servants of God after the Lord hath shewed great mercies and hath appeared unto them To the intent that I may further discover his wiles and temptations whose mallice is great against God and the Sons and Daughters of men but especially against the Saints and by reason of his great power being an Angel though of darkness he not only acts his own servants and slaves as he is the Prince of the air that ruleth in the Children of dissobedience but acteth upon Gods own Children and servants that fear the Lord. As I shall give you several instances as namely upon Jobes three friends though godly men how he did act them to have perswaded Job to confess himself an Hypocrite put it â—nto the heart of Judas to betray his Master â—eâ— and Peter 100 to perswade his Lord and Master that none of those things should beâ—â—ll him at Jerusalem which Christ himself had foretold should come to pass yea how did he prevail with the Scribes and pharisees to complot and agree with the Souldiers to say his Disciples came by night and stole him away endeavouring thereby to have concealed the Resurrection and so to have blasted the work of mans Redemption I shall now speak a word or two more of hingeneral practise upon the world for it is said the world lyeth in wickedness therefore must needs be acted by that wicked one who ruieth in the Children of disobedience that is upon the generality of the men of the world The gate of Heaven being strait and few of the Sons and Daughters of men go thither in comparison of the world God Almighty all along from the begining for the carrying on of his glory and building up his Church hath powred out his spirit upon the Sons of men making some Prophets and some Apostles and that upon the meanest of men as you see the Prophets Herdsmen and men of mean occupations and the Apostles Fisher men for you know it is said not many noble not many great nor many wise after the wisdome of the world for by such mean men the Lord doth make his glory and wisdom to be more conspicious when these that are illiterate and not bred up at the feat Gamaliel when such as these shall confound the wisdom of the world his glory shines more illusterously though without humanâ— learning for having received the wisdom of the spirit are made wise to salvation discoruing not only the misteries of mans redemption but their own particular salvation through Christ which the wisdom of the world knew not And so the Prophets and Apostles have had the honour of being Pen men of the Scripture by the holy Ghrist so that the words which they spake shall be the standing word by which the world shall be judged But such is the present condition of these times that the Lord hath given his spirit and excellent gifts to be improved for his glory O how duth the men of this world actâ—d by Satan being indeed his main master piece sets his own Instruments upon the servants of God by reproachful terms and all other ways of mischief and in a taunting deriding way of scorn crying our O you have the Spirit O you are Saints and you can preach Whereas surely it may be replyed unto them if they have not the spirit they are none of Christs and if none of his servants then you know what you are if not Saints then Davils and without holyness you shall never see the Kingdom of God And to others in a taunting manner you are Preachers surely if God hath given out such gifts though they do noâ— take upon them the ministry yet such gifts may be imployed to edification and to build up themselves and others in the faith of the Gospel why then should this be offensive doth not the Apostles say if any may hath a word of exhortation let him speak Suppose that God hath given such parts for from him cometh every good and perfect gift Will you reproach the spirit of the living God or obscure the graces of God O this indeed is a mighty Stratagem of Sathan whereby he doth much hinder the glory of God what if God hath given grace and gifts to mean Persons as mean as Fisher men I say to Glovers Shoomakers Taylors Weavers and other Tradesmen and why not as well as Fisher men Herds men and Tent-makers shall not their gifts be improved It is true the Prophets and Apostles had the spirit given them in great measure and shall not God give unto such as before mentioned in their measure Alas I would ask you by what spirit do these men act who are so industerous to improve all their knowledge and utmost endeavors to walk exactly in all the Commandments of God having respect thereunto shall such be reproached But it may be objected that these men have not humanâ— learning they have not been at the Universities well then It is grace that makes a man more excellent then his Neighbour I do not speak against humanâ— learning it may be a good handmaid to Divinity but grace must be in the Chayre she must be Mistriss grace is the glorious Ornament that makes the poor Saints shine in their conversations and glorifie their Father which is in Heaven when the men of great humanâ— learning oftentimes drown themselves in the ways of the world and make their condemnation to be the greater by it And by their scandelous lives bring dishonour to God and the Gospel of Jesus Christ but the day draweth near when the Dragon Beast and false Prophet with the Locusts of Hell shall be bound up together and cast into that fire which burneth with fire brimstone for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it when the feet of him shall be beautiful upon the mountains that publisheth peace and salvation saying unto Zyon thy God reigneth then shall the voice of thy watchmen be heard and lift up their voice and shout together for they shall see him eye to eye when the Lord shall give deliverance to Zyon I shall give you one instance more and that is of my self sines the Lord came into my soul witnessing he had given me eternal sife as I have declared and set forth in my blesphemous thoughts and when we shall take in hand the performance of the duties of Gods worship as singing of Psalms reading the word and in Prayer when we give the Lord his glorious titles he is ready to thrust the contrary unto our hearts and plays the Devil indeed to contradict what we say and by the assistance of that unregenerate proceeding lines He I say Sathan hath so endeavoured to do me all the mischief that possible he could not leaving a stone unturned
that tended that way And by reason of the indwelling of sin the remainder of the curse for our first transgression which the best of Gods servants do carry about them taking advantage thereof being like unto Tinder that is ready to take fire as soon as is toucht doth cast his fiery darts into our souls part within us our hearts are ready to opose every truth of God and so we have a daily warfare and great strivings to keep our hearts from consenting to his wicked injections and much ado to bring them into a subjection unto the truths of God and like unto the Bird that hath a dogg tyed unto his legg whereby he is hindred from flying up into the Air and so by his impressions left upon our souls which is so weighty a burden that unders us from soaring up to Jesus Christ by 〈◊〉 and so vigilant is that cursed enemy to the glory of God and mans salvation that he goeth about day and night seeking whom he may davour and taking advantage of our weakness in our sleeps annoying us often with sinful dreams then laying his delusions upon us who still pursuing me according to his former methods lately in the night acted upon me in my sleep as though I had been in the number of them who were dragged from the Tribunal seat to Hell having received the sentance of condemnation with the damned and all this to the end and purpose it possible he could to have blasted that glorious mercy I received from the Lord by the witness of his blessed spirit that God did rather take the advantage of the greatness of my sins for the magnifying of his mercy rather then his justice in my condemnation and that I was of Abrakams family as I have declared in my Narrative in the day when the Lord gave me deliverance out of his hand But so impudent is this fiend of Hell called by the word of truth a lyar from the begining and so the Father of lyes using his old trade towards me with the subtlety of the old Serpent and all this to daunt my faith and to have blasted the mercy which I received from my gratious God who hath laid it upon my soul by such a witness that I believe and know all the Devils in Hell shall not be able to overthrow it And that I may magnifie and set forth the goodness of God I will take up the words of the Prophâ—t Isaiah O Lord my God I will exalt thoe and praise thy name for ever for thou hast done wonderful things according to thy councel of old thou hast been a strength to the needy in his troubles a refuge against the tempest so that the blast of the mighty was as a storâ—â— against the wall the Lord will destroy death and wipe away tears from the faces of his and take of their rebakes the Lord hath spoken it and â—ill make it good and in that day will men say â—â—lo this is our God we have waited for him yea in the way of his judgements he will save us and we will be glad in his salvation He shall bring down the pride of Moab and lay their defensed walls as low as the dust in that day shall this song be sunged in the Land of Judah we have a strong City salvation shall God sâ—t for walls and bulworks Open ye the gates that the righteous Nation may enter therein for by an asured purpose wilt thou preferve in parfect peace for ever because they trusted in thee Trust in the Lord for ever for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength Thou wilt make equal the righteous way of the just the desire of our souls is to the remembrance of thy name for when thy judgements are upon the Earth the Inhabitants of the Earth shall learn righteousness even they that fear thy name but the wicked will not do so nor behold the Majesty of the Lord O Lord they will not now behold thy hand but they shall see it and be confounded with the zeal of thy people but unto us thou wilt ordain peace for thou kast wright all our works for us thy dead men shall live and with my body shall they arise even with my body and shall behold the King in his beauty Awake and sing ye that dwell in the dust thy dew is as the dow of kerbs and the Earth will cast out his dead and in that day of this power shall the coming in be like the drops of dow that arise from the Womb of the worning Thou hast drunk of the brook in the way therefore shall thy head be lifted in that day for the Lord â—â—mâ—â—h out of his place to visit the iniquity of the Inhabitants of the Earth and the Earth shall disclose his blood And to receive the Kingdoms for his inheritance and the utmost parts of the Earth for his possession beirg Heir thereunto by donatian of the Father and â—hâ—n shall that good word of the Lord be â—â—de good that at the â—â—me of Jesus every knee shall bow both in Heaven and Earth and every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is both Lord and King to the praise and glory of the Lord for the Father hath said when he brirgeth his first begotten again into the world 〈◊〉 all the Angels and every Creature worship him And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see together O Sion that bringest good tidings get thee up into the Mountains O Jerusalem that bringest good ridings lift up thy voice with strength be not affraid say to the Cities of Judah behold your God behold he comith with power and his arme shall rule behold his Reward is with him and his work before him and he shall feed his flock like a Shepherd and gather his lambs in his armes and carry in his bosome and guide them with them which are with young It is he that hath measured the waters in his fists covered the Heavens with a span comprehended the dust of the Earth in a measure weigheth the Mountains in Scales and the Hills in Ballances Who hath instructed the spirit of the Lord of whom took he Counsel Who instructed him and taught uim in the way of his judgements Behold the Nation are as a drop of water or counted as the dust oâ— the Ballance He taketh up the Isles as a little thing Lebanon not sufficient for a fire nor the beasts thereof for a burnt Offering to whom the will you liken God he sitteth upon the Circle of he Earth and the inhabitants are as Grasshoppets he spreadth out the Heavens like a Curtain he bringeth the Princes to nothing and maketh the Judges of the Earth as vanity to whom then will ye liken me saith the holy one lift up your eyes and behold who hath Created all these things he bringeth out his Armies by number and calleth them all by their names by the greatness of his strength nothing faileth O ye suffering Saints