here And now againe some of us the greater number were very indifferent renewed our former desires of having the Sacrament and sent about it to M. Bartlet who said we were not as yet in a capacity to have that Ordinance that it was necessary we should be first in a Gospel order embodied and said moreover that then wee should see much of God that the day of our embodying would be such a day as we had never seene A while after M. Bartlet came to the City with his Church officers he himselfe prayed and preached on Zech. 6.12 in the â—â—â—ning afterwards seven or eight persons spake out the experiences they had of the change of their condition with which I was much affected and through M. Stucleys perswasion did the like Afterwards there was a confession of faith read being a Copy of that which was composed by M. Hughes which Copy we had not from the Author but from another this confession of faith was subscribed by every one of us And then M. Bartlet made some proposals unto us by way of quaere to this effect as I remember 1. Whether we would take Christ for our Judge King and Law-giver 2. Whether wee would renounce all wayes of false worship 3. Whether wee would worship God in all his Ordinances 4. Whether we would give up our selves to the Lord and one to another and would engage our selves in all duties of Christianity each unto other 5. Whether wee would hold communion with other Churches 6. Whether wee would relieve the Saints that were in Communion according to our abilitie 7. Whether we would not rest in the light that we had received but would study to know the mind of God and live up unto it This is the substance of our engagement as I remember At this time and somewhile after there was never a woman of the Church but my selfe and yet at every meeting about Church affaires Master Stucley would send for mee and when I pleaded for my absence at such times from the meetings that of the Apostle Let your women keep silence in the Church for it is not permitted unto them to speake he replyed he would do nothing without the consent of the whole And when I was present he himselfe would constraine me to speak my opinion of things proposed We were as I said formerly very desirous of the Sacrament in order to which our first work was to get a Minister that might administer it Although Master Stucley was with us yet the people of Torrington claimed an engagement from him that Towne having been visited with the plague and deprived of their Mininisters maintenance Master Stucley who was their Minister for those reasons left them but with a promise of returning so soon as the Lord should remove his hand and sufficient maintenance for a Minister should be procured both which being at this time effected we could not chuse him to be an Officer untill he were by them freed from his engagement in order hereunto much meanes was used Master Bartlet was imployed to perswade them unto it but they with one consent refused it saying that seeing he had promised to returne they expected that he should keep promise with them Hereupon we wrote for counsell to some of the Congregationall Churches in London Master Feake and Master Harrison in their answers to our Letters affirmed that Master Stucley was bound in conscience to goe unto Torrington that it would be dishonourable to the Gospel to leave them unlesse he could get their consent for his dismission At length Master Stucley himselfe accompanied with two or three of the Church rode thither where having made an agreement with the people those that rode with him were called in to consent therunto which they accordingly did At their returne Master Stucley required each one of us to consent likewise unto the agreement they made at Torrington without declaring what it was which being done by all the men he desired the sisters there being other women now added to the Church to do the like which my selfe and some others refused resolving that we would not act by an implicite faith Master Stucley thereupon said that what was done was a Church act because they who went with him consented thereunto viz. that we were engaged to get a Minister for the people of Torrington Accordingly there was one procured who continued with them for a time This Serpentine subtilty of his I tooke speciall notice of and did for it reprove him to his face we were in the meane time and so continued for some yeares in a bewildred condition without either of the Sacraments some not having their children baptized in a long time others did procure some Congregationall Minister to do it And as for the Lords Supper they who would partake of it rode to other places in the Country most of the people were very indifferent whether we had the Ordinances or no seeking themselves getting places and offices designing how they might build their owne houses and as for Master Stucley himselfe he was so distracted with Law-suits Intangled with the world and mony engagements as that he was seldome with us at our fasts and times of prayer Hence I began to suspect that they intended nothing but separation and setting up of themselves and their owne interests and designes which did exceedingly trouble mee Upon our private fast dayes when wee had done praying it was our custome for the help of those that were to pray to spend a little time in Conference and at such times did I take occasion to speak of the disorders among us told theÌ„ plainly that I feard we did separate froÌ„ others more godly then our selves as Cain who went out from the presence of the Lord to build citties that there was little regard had to what we at first pretended the setting up of pure ordinances I often told them that I never heard or read in Scripture or other history that the Lord did make use of a people of such an earthly luke-warme and indifferent spirit in any publique worke of reformation that it was not a party or confederacy that I looked after but to have the Gospel more discovered in greater light and beauty and the ordinances to be enjoyed in greater purity the beauty of Gods ornament to be set in Majestie and more purity and selfe-deniall to appeare in us who had separated from all mixtures Because I conceive that purity lay onely in this way therefore was I very forward and zealous in it hoping to leave posterity the ordinances pure and the name of God glorious in the brightnesse of the Gospel for this cause did I deale so plainly with them with which plaine and faithfull dealing they pretended many times to be much affected and thereupon would do something more in order to Religion then they had formerly Master Stucley as I said before being troubled about the things of this world left us to our selves very often in our
also for as many of the Saints as had not seene his face in the flesh And in Chap 1.4 where he commends them for their love to all the Saints I did in the conclusion tell some of thē privately There was that deliver'd which could not be prov'd by the word The Sacrament of the Lords Supper had beene about this time omitted for neer halfe a yeare sure I am it was very long I enquired of some the reason thereof who told me because I could not sit downe with Master Stoneham's ministry whereupon I went to Master Stoneham to know the reason why the Sacrament was kept from us at the first he gave me no answer but when I was earnest with him to give me satisfaction he said that he did not know what use I would make of it I then told him hee looked upon me as under a temptation when I was in an ordinance of Jesus Christ but I had cause to feare that he was under a temptation in neglecting such an ordinance of Jesus Christ which he had a command often to make use of and then intreated him that if he thought me unworthy to partake of it that I onely might be kept off that the ordinance might not upon that account be laid aside to this he replied that the prayers they had put up would be answered which was all the satisfaction I could get from him at that time A weeke after I pressed him againe for the Sacrament he then told me that if I would not sit downe under his ministry he would be no officer unto mee and for a close told mee there was one who had somewhat against mee whereupon the same day I went to Master Stucley to know what it was that some body had against mee what the evill was they could charge me with I told him that it was my desire and endeavour to keep a good conscience void of offence both towards God and towards men that if there were any evill with which they could charge mee upon information what it was I would not continue in the practice thereof and therefore desired him to tell mee what it was that one had against mee to which Master Stoneham then being at Master Stucleys house answered that I must first resolve to sit down under their ministry and then they would conferre about that I replyed that I did not separate but in distinguishing ordinances unto which this answer was returned that there was as much reason for a woman to goe after another man because of fruitfulnesse as to make use of another Ministry because of more benefit At which grosse discovery of themselves I resolved with my selfe to take my leave of them Master Stucley at my going forth came with mee to the doore and then desired me to deny my selfe-holinesse for God and look for a reward in heaven This was the last time that ever I was in his house After this two or three times I went to Mr. Eveleigh the Elder to know what it was they had against me but I could never speak with him untill I met him at the meeting where I desired to speak with him and went to his house and desired him to informe me what they had to Charge mee with who insteed of answering directly to my question sayd there would bee a Sacrament the next Lords day which as I remember was putt of and that some body did desire mee to forbeare my Answer was that I should not giue offence to any he then told mee what a doe they had to please mee instancing in his wife dead and buried long before This being all I could learne of him I went about to seuerall persons att their houses to know what it was that they had against mee but they told mee there was nothinge but my goeing to heare others then I asked whether the Church had any thinge against mee they did assure mee the Church had nothing against mee Having done this I beheld the doore standing so wide open as that I might fairely take my leave which yet I did not before I had for a while seriously and sadly considered of these following particulars 1. The strangenesse of their opinions and practises in reference to the ordinances of Jesus Christ Preaching was affirmed to be no Church Ordinance as also Catechizing The ordinance of Fasting exceedingly perverted in which they walked in the wayes of Ahab and statutes of Omry Making it like Ismaels weeping to fall on poore soules when they go to worship the Lord like the tumultuous concourse of people Act. 19.32 by concealing the perticular occasions and ends of their fastings fasting rather for strife and debate then to keepe the unity of the spirit in the bond of peace with Gods people The Sacrament of the Lords Supper was for a long time detained not only from my selfe in particular without giving any reason but from the whole Congregation in generall new and unheard of and unscripturall qualifications were required of those who would pertake thereof They must subscribe and engage not to heare any but their owne Officers at such times as the Officers did preach and must believe that a greater blessing was to be expected on their Ministry then on the Ministry of others when as the Apostle saith He that planteth and he that watereth are all one 1 Cor. 3.7 8. To come out from among them upon this account I was very much encouraged by Master Burroughs who in his heart divisions p. 174. sayeth If Gouernors enjoyne any thing vppon the Church or any member thereof that is Sin or if they shall mingle Euill in the Publique worship so that there can be noe Ioyning with their worship but there must be Ioyning likewise with their Sin In this case they are the Schismaticks not those who withdrawe from them Yea farther If they impose that which is not necessary though in it selfe not sinful and will not beare with the weaknes of such as thinke it Evill If upon that they are forced to withdrawe in this the governors are the Schismaticks the cause of the Rent is in them they ought in such things to beare with the weaknesses of their brethren and not imperiously require of them those things of which there is no necessity if such things be Sinne to their Brethrens consciences if they will stand upon it to enjoyne them they lay a necessity on them to withdraw God will not lay the Indictment of Schisme thus such a one departed from the Communion of such a church because he would not doe what was lawfull to be done But thus you imposed that upon your brother which there was no necessity of and would not forbeare him in what I would have you to forbeare him but caused him by your imperiousnesse and stifnesse to depart from communion with you It 's true God saith the things might have been done but it was not necessary it was out of conscience to me that they forbore the weaknesse is theirs but
the first Article vvhich concernes the Presbyterians I ansvver I must acknovvledge confesse that difference in judgement did likewise cause some breach in affection that I vvas too much svvayed vvith a spirit of separation vvhich made mee prone to censure those vvho differed from mee in judgment more then vvas fit vvhich I have cause to bevvaile and lament But yet I cannot but vvonder that Mr Stucley should be so farre blinded vvith passion as to censure mee for this vvhen it is vvell knovvne that neither himselfe nor any of his Congregation are in a capacity to fling so much as one stone at mee upon this account It is now the fifth time hee hath mentioned the Presbyterians in his threefold Accusation for what reason though he himselfe knowes best yet others cannot be ignorant of and as for the hope he puts in this I believe it will prove but a Spiders web I shall onely adde this That if my Tongue were against the Presbyterians so would my hand likewise had I harkened to Mr Stucley As to my uncharitable language concerning themselves he doth instance in severall particulars which I shall answer in that order he layes them downe having desired him in the generall to consider those reproachfull bitter unchristian Raylings against Mris Allen and my selfe wherewith both his Pamphlets are full and see whether they doe not farre exceed all the hard speeches I have given of them As for the particulars they are viz. 1. My reporting one to be fallen from the faith Resol I do not remember that ever I used such an expression in reference to any of them as fallen from the faith There was its true one concerning whom when they were about to choose him to be an Officer I said that I did feare he was not sound in the faith for which I had good ground neither did I hereby intend to reproach that person but to prevent the evill that might follow in case one not sound in the faith were chosen an Officer 2ly That another had nothing of God in her Resol I never heard the least hint from them of any such expression neither do I remember that I ever used it concerning any among them If it be that person which I admonished that is meant by Mr Stucley as I have some ground to conjecture for I cannot conceive who it should be else Then I say that it is a grosse mistake if no worse to affirme that I reported that shee had nothing of God in her Shee was a person that pretended to a great deale of Assurance whereupon I was willing to have some conference with her to know if shee had any ground for such an assurance To this I was the more willing because a member of the Church did somewhat question it who desired me to try whether it were so or no which I did in my discourse I told her that they who had this assurance knew how they came by it that where there is assurance there is likewise adherence a closing with the promises the workings whereof will be evident to that soul which hath attained it that therefore she should do well to look to the ground of her confidence and be sure that she had Scripture for it What her answers were I shall not here mention but it seemes she did not like this my plaine and faithfull dealing with her as appeares by her complaining of it to some who hereupon have now accused mee for being so censorious as to affirme that she had nothing of God in her which is false yea I was so unwilling to dishearten her as that I told her that grace was in the hidden man of the heart and not discernable many times where it is though assurance hath alvvayes its evidence Had I knovvne that they had been offended vvith me for this I should have given them a full Account of vvhat passed betvveen us whereby they vvould have knovvne the truth of vvhat was reported concerning her this had beene farre better then to accuse mee for it so many yeares after 3. As to that of Mr. Stoneham c. Resol I must confesse that when Mr Stoneham refused to declare the End of that fast mentioned in my Narrative I did look upon it as walking in Craftinesse contrary to that of the Apostle 2 Cor. 4.2 And as to his Expressions in preaching c. I conceived Mr. Stucley the fittest to admonish him of his weaknesse and therefore in a letter I wrot unto him these following words I shall intreat you to speak to Mr. Stoneham of those Expressions he doth often use to expresse spirituall things by the word I conceive is fittest to expresse spirituall mysteries and duties I am sure that is the sword of the Spirit and that is able to make the man of God perfect throughly furnished to all good works The more wise the preacher was the more he sought to teach the people wisdome and to find out acceptable words words of wisdome that are as nailes and goads fastned by the master of the Assembly I must confesse I cannot close with his Expressions which are usuall and ordinary both in prayer and preaching which is as the Chaffe to the wheate and what is the chafte to the wheat I should speak to him my selfe but I fear he will not hear it from me The ground on which I went was that of the Apostle say to Archippus take heed to thy ministry that thou fulfill it Would it have been an ingenuous returne of Archippus to censure suspend or excommunicate a person for giving him such an admonition let Mr. Stucley judge Lastly concerning my imputing the affliction of some of the church to their unworthy receiving c. Resol For answer hereunto I shall here set down what I wrote in the same letter concerning it viz. It is and hath been a great trouble to me that there is no meanes of instructing by Catechising which is like in my apprehension to put a stop in the way of the Gospell And I conceive the ordinance of the Lords supper cannot be kept pure without instructing those that are of the Church younger ones especially in the mystery of discerning the Lords body for this many are weake and sick the Apostle laies it down as a Cause of that sicknesse and death that was amongst them For my part it is my feare that the Lord hath a controversie with us for not discerning the Lords body and not judging our selves Surely the Lords hand that is upon us and those afflictions that have been upon me hath put me upon serious enquiry after the Lord in his word and I am afraid we do not walk up to our own principles and keep the ordinances pure Behold Mr. Stucley's discretion and ingenuity in censuring me for censuring my selfe which I did in that letter as well as others I did impute the afflictions on my selfe and them either to the omitting of the administration of the Lords supper for a long time
he slighted that and hath taken libertie in pulpit and in print to render our names and our persons odious to all the world as if the sword of excommunication had not been sharp enough unlesse it were sharpned by him at the Philistins forge and in the meane time takes liberty to himselfe to practice that for which he pretends he hath censured me as for lying I could instance in severall of their charges that they are no other but lies Not to mention the severall reports that have been spread concerning me as not worth the taking notice of which have one contradicted the other and not two of the Reporters found in one tale as hath been taken notice of as I am informed by a person of credit this is not worth the taking notice of But that false report that hath been raised by them and spread in citty and countrie on Mr Ford the minister that he should slight lying and that say lying was the property of a woman Whereas the truth is that when Mr Ford and Mr Bartlet Ministers and Mr Stucley and Mr Eveleigh were met at Mr Fords house Mr Stucley and Mr Eveleigh accused me of Scandall and brought in a charge of lying against me instancing in Mris Eveleigh and my speaking against the Presbyterians which I have allready answered Mr Ford still cald for more more charge then to make up their accusation they said that I was fickle Mr Ford answered them that is as much as to say she is a woman this I know to be the truth and yet the report is spread by them in City and Country that he said that lying was the property of a woman and herein have they discovered their falsehood and rage against such an Eminent labourer in Christs Vineyard who hath given abundant Testimony that he seeks not himselfe but the things of Christ And as for Contention how hath Mr Stucley discovered himselfe guilty to all the world Doeg like falling on Magistrates and Ministers whom he supposeth stands in his way as his Sermon and printed books do witnesse Give me leave to take notice of it as David when he heard how Saul had cut off the Lords Priests saith he I have occasioned the death of all these And for Censoriousnesse how doth it appeare not by secret search but upon their severall Accusations wherein the greatest ground of their proceedings against me hath been a censuring of the ends of my words and actions which is Gods prerogative alone who searcheth the heart and tryeth the reines Let the Impartiall Reader judge whether they sought the glory of Christ to convince me of this sin whē it is that which was yet is usually practised by themselves Witnesse their usuall calling Mr Fords preaching Rayling and nonsence and some of them would have the Pulpit shut against Mr Ford and Would have had the notes of his Sermons to pick occasion against him and perswaded me not to hear him and I was questioned many times for hearing of him not only the Lords daies but on Lecture daies also I cannot but take notice of Mr Mall in his reasons pressing them to renew their Covenant He saith such poor wretches are given up to Judiciall hardnesse so that they are sorry for nothing so much as that they with such a Church entred into Covenant with God and again such wrethes they have renewed their Covenant with hell and Satan For answer what Covenant I have ented into with God whether with them or any other I desire still to own and acknowledge that I am engaged unto to performe and am resolved in the strength of Christ never to retract And if in any particular I have denyed my Covenant with God it lies upon them to convince me of it It is not enough for them to charge Covenant breaking and perjury and Schisme it lies upon them to prove their charge otherwise I am not engaged to an Implicite faith to believe them I think our letter we sent to them will testifie that we did not retract our Covenant with God when we did professe our submission to the law and will of Christ wherein I think we did own our Covenant with God more than they did who by their Explicite Covenant engaged themselves to an Implicite faith in subjection to Mr Stucley's ministeriall guidance and teaching without any restriction or limitation And yet how doth he boast pag. 13. as if they were a company of believers that will part from life rather then from a little command and their hands are fill'd with both Tables is not this practice of theirs a contradiction to this profession yet pag. 29. exhorting them to keep to the Church of Christ he tells them he cannot but approve of their purpose to subscribe a covenant that will be a fence against a lawlesse Spirit Moses who was a servant in the house of God and God testifies of him that he was faithfull in all the house of God see Deut. 33.4 Moses commanded us a law even the Inheritance of the congregation of Jacob. Is not this fence against lawlesse Spirits that God hath prescribed his Church sufficient but that Mr Stucley must engage the people to himselfe as if his designe were to seek himselfe and to espouse a people to himselfe and not to Christ It was the commendation that the Apostle gives of his hearers that they received the word with all readinesse of mind and earched the Scriptures dayly whether those things be so or no but here they Ingage to absolute subjection to Mr Stucleys Ministry without any Caution I the rather take notice of it because they may consider that whiles they are Censuring us they forget themselves and their Engagements to Christ and to his Lawes that whereas they have profest the taking Christ for their King and Law-giver now they set up men in the roome of Christ without any mention of the Law and Septer of Christ And yet he pretends that his booke called Manifest truth is set forth by him to prevent the Gospells suffering although he ha h had a Bratherly admonition given him by the unknowne author Diotrephes detected and Archippus admonished yet he never takes notice of this particular to give any Satisfaction unto it or to remove the offence taken by it And now for a close of all I shall desire Mr Stucley to retyre himselfe a little from the world and those multitudes of designes hee is at present so much entangled with having done this seriously and sadly consider a while of that great day of accounts wherein the hidden workes of darknesse shall be fully discovered by him whose eyes are as a flame of fire if he doth thinke in good earnest that there is such a day coming wherein he must by accountable for all his actions let him I say consider what account he can give to Christ of his late proceedings against Mris Allen and my selfe will it thinks he be enough to say that his credit and esteem in the world could not be upheld without it that the Interest of that party with whom he sided consisted therein that he had Majors Collonels Knights Ladies to stand by him if he account these vaine and foolish pleas now why should hee how dared he act upon such grounds now His only way therefore will be to repent of this his wickednesse and pray God if perhaps the thoughts of his heart may be forgiven him which will be more to his honour then by Printing any more angry bookes against two weake women who are not able to speake for themselves in Print neither is it required so well as men especially Schollers to withold the truth in unrighteousnesse to oppresse the Innocent and to cover his own Sin which whosoever doth shall not prosper the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it FINIS
SVSANNA'S Apologie against the ELDERS OR A Vindication of SVSANNA PARR one of those two Women lately Excommunicated by Mr LEWIS STVCLEY and his Church in Exeter Composed and Published by her selfe for the clearing of her own Innocency and the Satisfaction of all others who desire to know the true Reason of their so rigorous Proceedings against her Whose hatred is covered by deceit his wickednesse shall be shewed before the whole Congregation Prov. 26.26 They shall put you out of the Synagogues yea the time cometh that whosoever killeth you will think that he doth God service Joh. 16.2 Let us go forth therefore unto him without the Campe bearing his reproach Heb. 13.13 Printed in the Year 1659. To the Impartiall READER IT is a thorny path and a myrie way that I am compelled to walke in a way wherein there is a danger of loosing more in all likelyhood rather then of regaining what is already lost A way the walking wherein all the comfort I have is the hope of getting out of it at last and so it concerns me to hasten as fast as I can In it I meet with the Enemies Sword covered over with zeale for God and his glory when as nothing of this hath appeared in the least either in the worke or in the managing thereof Satan is now transformed into an Angel of light But my hope is that he will in the end appear to be no other than he is a prince of darknesse a black grisely Divel Jealousy and censorious Slander the discovery of which is the worke I am at present engaged in the designe of this following Vindication a worke it is no lesse difficult and dangerous then troublesome and unpleasing in respect of my selfe who write the things vvhereof I write and the persons against whom I write Weaknesse is entailed upon my Sex in generall and for my selfe in particular I am a despised worme a woman full of naturall and sinfull infirmities the chiefest of Sinners and least of Saints should the Lord contend with me I must lay my hand upon my mouth I must acknowledge him to be just and righteous in suffering them to deale thus with me neither should I put my selfe to the trouble of a Vindication but leave the clearing of my Innocency to that day which he hath appointed to judge the world in righteousnesse I have cause to remember and be ashamed before the Lord there being Iniquity even in my holy things yet as to them my heart doth not reproach mee but on the contrary I have great cause of rejoycing in the uprightnesse of my heart as to the things of God and in my abundant love and affections unto them my heart was enlarged in love towards them and therefore my mouth was opened upon all occasions for their good though I was of a stamering Tongue slow of speech and wanted eloquence yet the desire I had of their perfection made me forward to speake to them in generall and in particular the Lord knowes I lie not my conscience also bearing me witnesse I mourned with them that mourned rejoyced with them that rejoyced when any were under temptations or afflictions I did labour to sympathiz◠with them as if they were mine owne and did engage for them at the Throne of Grace as for my selfe And as for that which I did oppose among them it was matter of mourning unto mee when I apprehended the glory of Christ and their particular interest could not stand together I then withstood them resolving not to spare any that stood in the way of Christ and the Gospels enlargement It is my comfort that the Lord seeth not as man seeth man looketh on the outward appearance but the Lord looketh on the heart not he that commendeth himselfe but he whom the Lord commendeth is approved Though they have proceeded to Censure me and have been full of Cursing and bitternesse returning evill for good yet I shall pray Lord lay not this sin to their charge they know not what Spirit they are of Besides my personall weaknesses the many Family-cares that lie upon me must needs unfit me for such a worke and very much disinable me to write even of those things which were newly done and fresh in my memory much more to write of these which they charged me with being some of them transacted Seaven or Eight yeares since In the laying down of which if my memory should fail me I need not tell thee if thou knowest Mr. Stucley and his Congregation what an improvement they will make thereof for the justifying of their late unchristian Censure of whom I have cause to complaine as the Church in the words of Jeremiah Lam. 3.53 they have cut off my life in the dungeon and cast a stone upon me which they threaten to eternity Surely they who have been so wicked as to censure me without any ground will not stick to take hold of the least occasion for the maintaining of it and though I have in part been cleared by the Ministers of Exeter from their forged accusations who received me jointly into communion with them yet my Adversaries being so crafty cruell and powerfull it will be no hard matter for them to beare downe all their gain-sayers whosoever shall dare to contradict them unlesse the Lord himselfe take them in hand and then though they are mightier then I yet they will find to their cost that he is higher then they to him I have committed my way in him is my trust therefore my confidence is that he will bring it to passe seeing my undertaking is not so much for my selfe as for the Lord for his servants and for his people It cannot be whatever Mr Stucley sayes to the contrary p. 46. of his answer to Mr Toby Allen. but that a slur is cast by their censuring mee on the Ministers and people of God in this City it must needs reflect very much on them who have received such a daughter of Belial such a lyer c. as he tels the world confidently enough I am into communion and fellowship with them I looke on it as my duty to keep the house of God pure to the uttermost of my power which in this case I cannot doe without clearing my selfe from those crimes layd to my charge Had Mr Stucley dealt ingeniously with his Readers in discovering the right and true grounds of his Excommunication viz my hearing another Minister whiles I was with them and after my leaving them my refusing to returne unlesse I might have the liberty of communion with other of Gods people in this City then it would have been apparent that their censuring mee was no other then the smiting of the watchmen for seeking after my beloved and so have freed mee from a great deale of trouble But seeing he hath dealt so craftily as to omit them and lay other things to my charge in their place it will be worth the while a little to uncase him in his cōparisons for
thenceforth silent though I looked on it as my duty formerly he told me no he vvould have me speak but it must be by a Brother for a stander by may see more then he that plaies the game promising likewise if I did speak by him to deliver my words in the same manner as I spake them After this it pleased the Lord to exercise me with a smarting affliction the death of a dear child the suddennesse of the stroke and some other circumstances made it a very melting affliction When my Bovvels vvere yerning towards my child I called to remembrance the Lords tender bowels towards his children for whom he had given his only Son when I considered the breach that the Lord had made in my family I beheld how terrible it was to make a breach in his family Then the worke I was ingaged in this Sin of Separation appeared nakedly unto me to be no other then a vvounding of Christs body vvhich is his Church the Church vvhich he hath purchased vvith his ovvn blood I then looked on Separation to be a dividing of Christ Truly I beheld it vvith terror this sin of vvounding of Christ it made a vvound in my soule vvhich vvas kept open in a terrible manner the Lord bringing to my remembrance his Justice and severity and vvrath revealed from heaven on families and nations yea on his ovvn people ever since the beginning of the vvorld as also his Judgments vvhich are in the earth to this day from Genesis to the Revelation vvas brought to my remembrance and kept hard upon me Having these Impressions on my Spirit I vvas almost overwhelmed and in mine ovvn apprehension upon the Borders of Hell vvhere the Lord made me to behold the Execution of his vvrath upon sinners I could then have told vvhat hel vvas I felt the flashings of helfire in my soule the vvrath of God that lay hard upon me the effects vvhereof vvere very terrible insomuch as I was even swallowed up only the Lord was pleased to keep me following after him resolving to lie at his feet though he should spurne me to hell Having thus been under a sentence of death with the very terrors of hell in my soule providence so ordering it I came by following the people where Mr. FORD preached I no sooner came into the Congregation but I was so exceedingly troubled as that I vented my selfe in Passionate teares fearing lest I might be unfit to hear but in prayer recovered my selfe His text was in John 16 last Be of good cheere I have overcome the world He instanced in all the enemies of the new creature the World the God of this world Sin Death and Hell the Lord setting it home every sentence was to me as the rivetting of the nailes set on by the great master of Assemblies and in prayer afterward the Lord so providing those very particulars which were the burden of my soule were put up unto God I went out of the congregation with another frame of spirit then when I came in blessing the Lord for giving his Son Jesus Christ who hath loved us and washed us from our sins in his own blood and hath made us Kings and Priests unto God But afterwards I began to question whether I had not taken that which did not belong unto me Christ then speaking comfort to his disciples in reference to that hardship they were to meet with in the world among the rest of their sufferings this was one that they should be put out of the Synagogues yea the time would come that whosoever killed them would think he did God good service which things Christ told them that they might not be offended But yet the Sermon being in generall of all the Enemies of the new Creature I could not put it off Furthermore the appearance of God was so remarkable in the change of my spirit as that I could not but take it home that Sins of the right hand and left hand and separation also and death and hell should be cast into the lake that burneth with fire and brimstone that in the meane time Christ hath overcome the world the Prince of this world is judged condemned already only the execution is deferred till the time appointed by the father And as for sufferings that we must look for them having such provision so remarkably laid in before I cannot but take notice of it at present But then I could not conceive how it was likely for me to suffer in that kind there being then so much love pretended But now the time is come and therefore I mention it Christ saieth these things have I spoken unto you that when the time shall come you may remember that I told you of them Now I can make application of all the Sermon which is food for my faith to live upon although I suffer as an evill doer I mention it with admiration that the Lord even then when he spake peace unto me after my being convinced of Separation should lay also provision against Excommunication But now after my conviction of Separation it troubled me very much because I knew not how to avoid it my fear was lest I should be constrained to live in it had I presently come off I should have made a breach there They pretended so much love unto me as I knew not which way to break this bond which the Apostle calls the bond of perfectnesse wherefore I resolved to wait upon the Lord for the opening a way unto me which he did afterwards in manner following The Lord was making such abundant Provision for me in Mr. Ford's ministry I did constantly attend thereon hearing him once a Lords day for the most part unlesse it were when we had the Sacrament of the Lords Supper administred among us This was my practice ever since he came to this City of which Mr. Stucley took no great notice before he was in office but afterward both he and the people were displeased with me for it on which began the quarrell on my part between us Mr. Stoneham being a stranger was employed to take me off from this practice who at first pretended that it did very much trouble him but since he hath told me that he wished that he had never been put upon it He sent a Messenger unto me to perswade me to leave Mr. Ford's ministry I then shewed my grounds for that practice what provision I found there and how the Lord had made that ministry effectuall unto me and withall that when I came among them I took up a resolution to attend upon that ministry The same day in a publique meeting they accused me first of Contention and secondly for my hearing Mr. Ford which as the Elder said the Church neither could nor would bear however they would not medle with it for that time As to the Article of Contention I appealed to the Church and charged them to be faithfull as they would answer it another day in making it known
whether they had found me Contentious Upon which I having withdrawn my selfe they entred into a debate about it every one declaring their thoughts of me the result of which debate was this That they neither could nor would charge me with contention for a world but did fear that through a mixture of Corruption it might tend to contention This businesse was ended three daies after they declaring that they were satisfied But as to the other Article the Elder told me the very next day when I pressed him to declare whether he knew of any thing against mee he told mee that there was nothing else in the world but my hearing Master Forde and then desired me to leave off that practise which I did sometimes to content them but the little peace that I found in it made me quickly to take it up againe After this messengers were sent unto me severall times from the Church to informe me how my practice was disliked by some to whom I gave my reasons for it as formerly and told them farther that I was engaged to study the mind of Christ and because of their dis-satisfaction to seeke the Lord in this thing I promised likewise to submit my selfe to the Officers so as to be accountable to them of my hearing Mr Forde I informed them also how the Lord had made use of that Ministry for my good in these times of distraction I gave thē thanks for the great love good will they seemed to bear towards me but withall desired thē not to be offended if I made use of my Christian liberty till I was better informed and told them where the Carkasse is there will the Eagles resort Master Stucley also sent me two long letters wherein he endeavored to perswade me to have dependance only on their ministry without hearing any other But when they saw that I could not be taken off from this practice they began to quarrell with me telling me that I was contentious that it was heighth of spirit and so by little and little estranged themselves But the Word was a light unto me and so evident as if it had been appointed on purpose for direction they themselves being judges insomuch as some of them asked me whether I did not use to visit Mr. Ford. As for Mr. Stoneham he declared in his publique ministry oftentimes That it was out of the way of order to hear any other minister when our own officers preached that no blessing was to be expected in such a way and if so be there were any profit received it was a delusion a temptation yea a judgment of God upon such a soule it was a going out of the bosome of Christ into the bosome of strangers Rebellion against Christ and that such must be dealt with as Traytors and Rebells At length a fast a day of humiliation was appointed for the disorderly walking of some and that with obstinacy in the generall Hereupon I went unto Mr. Stoneham to know for what end this fast was intended whether it was in reference to my self if so I should remove the occasion resolving with my selfe if the liberty of hearing other ministers were denied me to leave them But he and Mr. Stucley whom I found with him in stead of informing me fell into a dispute about true Churches a subject that I was unskilfull in and he by reason of his deafnesse unfit to treat of and withall let fall some strange Expressions concerning the people of God I told him that I did delight in the image of God where ever I found it in those that were the Excellent of the Earth that did excell in virtue he then endeavoured to perswade me that I was to have my affections tyed up to those of their Society alleadging that I might aswell delight in another man that was not my husband because the Image of God shined more in him then in my husbād I being troubled at this grosse discourse told him that those relations were of a different nature and that I thought I did owe more duty where God in his Providence had cast me and where I had the opportunity and ability to performe it then I was engaged unto or could discharge unto others where I had no such opportunities yet I did not look upon it as that which could cut off my affections from the people of God from those who had the Image of God renewed in them Something also was spoken of Church ordinances Mr. Stucley said the preaching of the vvord vvas not a Church ordinance because that it might be preached by one that was not a Church officer and it might be used out of a Church even in a family For my own part I knew not how to understand these distinctions but accounted them strange doctrines Mr. Stucley some dayes after in a letter taxed me for acknowledging an assembly of people to be a Church meeting and the wednesday meeting to be a Church meeting which formerly I lookt upon as Babylon To which I returned Answer by letter that I accounted those from whom we did separate a true Church as he had told me the New England ministers did that I lookt upon the wednesdaies meeting to be a Church meeting the Ministers as ambassadors of Christ the preaching of the word a Church ordinance that which Christ hath appointed for the gathering in building up and edifying of his body which is the Church that I did put no difference between hearing there and among our selves in point of efficacy and that my separation from them was not in doctrine and worship but in discipline Much I wrote likewise for the removing of some prejudices complaining how I was preached against and prayed against informing him likewise that I was neither able to live in the fire of contention nor sit down under a ministry that I could not profit by and therfore should willingly withdrawe from them I also desired him that whilest wee contended for pure ordinances we should not suffer the Gospell to be corrupted and that I feared we did not walke up to our owne principles and I likewise desired direction from him When the day appointed for the fast was come I went to the meeting not knowing for what it was intended The practice of the hearing of other ministers was then made to be as the Sin of Korah and Dathan And betweene the severall prayers Mr Stonehā propounded somewhat by way of question how to know an heriticke one discovery was when persons went against their owne principles as those did who although they have given up themselves on unto another shall notwithstanding say they delight in the Image of God where ever they finde it in the Excellent ones of the earth which was contrary to their principles and destructive to the very fundementalls of the Church This being contrary in my apprehension to that of the Apostle 2 Col where he tels us That he had greate conflict not for them only which he knew But
he hath not run before the Lord sent him let him produce his warrant to Excommunicate before ever he proved the Crime or admonished me of the Evills for which he saies I am Excommunicated He addes that there are some full of evill surmises about this matter as if the Church would never have proceeded against her but upon a designe to hinder others from deserting us Resol It is no surmise for 1 One of their own Officers Mr. Slade by name talking with an Alderman of this City about this Excommunication told him that if they had proceeded against me sooner Mris. Allen would not have left them 2 Mr. Stucley doth not in plain termes deny it And though that which follows concerning the unquietnesse of his spirit about my not Repenting may imply a deniall yet 3 It is that which he hath in a manner acknowledged in pag. 10. of the True Account in these words If we had discharged our duty sooner on the lyar we might have prevented the others fall her disobedience and perversenesse of spirit As for that he professeth he had no quiet in his Spirit that a Person should lie so long suspended and give no Evidence of Repentance but the Contrarie c. Resol The Suspension vvas tvvo moneths after I had left them the messenger that vvas sent to give me notice thereof sayd it vvas in order to my Returne a Returne to them this is the Repentance they expected and I resolved against unlesse as I told the Elder I might have communion with them and not to separate from others that vvere godly But vvhat quiet can Mr Stucley have novv that he hath passed a Sentence of Excommunication vvithout admonition seeing I so earnestly desired it vwhat comfort can he have in passing this Censure three yeares wanting a few daies after I had left them when as in all probability by reason of forgetfulnesse there could not be a charging of sin so as to convince and work a kindly Repentance If his conscience had troubled him because of my lying in Sin without evidencing Repentance then his conscience is either blind or baffled else why had not his conscience checkt him when he discovered no zeale against lying when he was so often prest unto it by me why had not his conscience troubled him when there was a lye affirmed with so much Confidence by John Whitehorne when he offered to depose it upon Oath and yet there was clear Testimony brought by some of their members to prove it to be a lye this person is under his charge yet here his conscience hath not disquieted him And for what he addes That to quiet his conscience he tooke advice with severall Ministers and so concluded the matter by them and his own Conscience Resol 1. Why did he go so farre away had he desired to have the truth brought to light then why should he refuse to advise with those Ministers that he himselfe acquainted with the businesse and when I so often desired them to bring it to a new tryall before them with a promise to submit unto their determinations without expecting any favour from them 2. How could those Ministers whoever they be perswade him to such a censure without advising him to bring the businesse to a Triall without hearing both parties speake will not Festus rise up in judgement against them Did these Ministers in their advice duly weigh the weight of this Ordinance and the pretiousnesse of soules for which Christ did Sweat Bleed and died for which hee ever lives to make intercession Durst they upon the Report of one partie without Examination give such advice in a corner the Lord lay not this sin to their charge 'T is not the first time that Satan hath made use of such instruments Christ saw him in a Peter c. I confesse it would have been more easily borne if they had been such as have not knowne the Father nor the Lord Jesus that had given this wicked advice but that it should come from them who have or at least pretend to more acquaintance with Christ then others this is as the Vineger and the Gall. Charg p. 47. In the last place hee gives the world a Catalogue of lying defamations spoken by mee since my Suspension Resol As for those lying defamations I answer briefly That many of those Reports are no lying Defamations but manifest truths as I have made it already to appeare in my Narrative and Vindication and make no question but shall be able to do the like of the rest if called unto it even as many of them as he shall prove to proceed from mee farre better then Mr Stucley will be able to make good in a regular and orderly proceeding those slanderous reports concerning mee with which he hath filled the world notvvithstanding he boasts so much of witnesses at the end almost of every Charge And novv I suppose the Reader is sufficiently tired vvith perusing an unpleasing and broken History I shall therefore now hasten to an End If the Gospell be the great Salvation that is delivered by Christ himselfe and the Revelation of it compleated and it be once delivered to the Saints and no other Revelation to be expected till Christ come and this Salvation being so glorious as that the Angels desire to look into it and there being such a Curse by Christ pronounced on such as shall adde to it or take from it then let it serve as an Apology for me in my learning of them This was that which I did desire and aime at that I might be instructed in the mystery of this great Salvation God manifest in the flesh c. T is that was in my eye and that I still follow after although I have not yet attained to comprehend with all Saints what is the bredth and length and depth and heighth and to know the love of Christ which passeth knowledge yet through grace this was and is that one thing that I may know Christ and him crucified and that I may with the Apostle Phil. 3.12 13 14. know him and the power of his Resurrection and the fellowship of his Sufferings so as to be made conformable to his death that I may know this great mystery which hath been hid from other ages but is now revealed unto us by the holy Apostles and Prophets by the Spirit Eph. 3.1 Know him so as to bear about in my body the dying of the Lord Jesus that the life of Jesus may be made manifest in this mortall flesh that the old man may be Crucified with him that the body of Sin might be destroyed that I might not serve sin This was that which to the glory of free grace I can say in some measure if my heart do not deceive me was my desire in Joyning with them and in my withdrawing from them I finding not a Sufficiency in their Ministry for edification and building up and being disapointed of my expectation in the ministry and continuing my
practice of hearing Mr Ford sometimes once a Lords day meerly out of necessity and observing what they did after they were in office and setled themselves in stead of discovering their love and faithfulnesse to the peoples soules in their diligent circumspection and watchfulnesse over them and discovering to them the hidden mysteries of the Gospell they were very remisse the worke they were imployed in was to exalt themselves and bring the people into Subjection unto them silenceing some and censuring others without allowing them any liberty to clear themselves such as they supposed stood in their way and when this was effected then they proceeded farther to take them off from hearing any other minister making that practice of hearing another minister when themselves preached to be a going out of the Bosome of Christ into the Bosome of Strangers and such persons were Traytors and Rebells to Jesus Christ and should be so dealt withall and what benefit was received by another minister to be a delulusion and a Temptation and a Judgment of God upon the soule And ingaging the people at their admission to believe it as an Article of their faith that a greater blessing was to be expected on their ministry then on any others as if they preached another Jesus or another Spirit or another Gospell when the Apostle sayeth he that planteth and he that watereth are one 1 Cor. 3. Was there not a cause to suspect what they intended but the liberty of dissenting was denyed and they proceeded to lay aside their meetings for to conferre together and to consider one another and the ordinance of the Supper that was layd aside a long time fasting was perverted to carry on their own designes and to keep the people ignorant of the occasion and ground of their fast I being troubled at this and resolved not to be Silent to see what was done by them but rather to suffer did discover my dislike of these practises and blamed them to their faces for walking in craftinesse contrary to the Apostle 2 Cor. 4.2 and perverting and laying aside of the ordinances then insteed of giving me any satisfaction as I expected did they craftily conspire to entangle me to fall to dispute about true Churches And to seek occasion against me to defame me and as if there had not been sufficient above ground rakt up the dead out of her grave and made matter to frame an accusation against me for doing that which themselves the generality of them did the same as some of them have since acknowledged and in what they accused me Mr Stuckley himselfe cleared me and here is the ground of all their charge of scandall which how cruell and unjust and unreasonable it is I leave to the impartiall reader to Judge Thus seeing Gospell priviledges purity of ordinances and liberty of conscience lay a bleeding and they walking contrary to their principles and often engagements and having no way to free my selfe from partaking with them in their evils not only the liberty of speaking but of dissenting being denied vnles it were purchased upon such termes as their ensnaring of me and of looseing peace and a good name I not daring to make it known to other members lest I should be accounted contentious having had experience of the people formerly and seeing the officers to be masters of the ordinance insteed of dispensors and to lord it over Gods heritage as if they had dominion over our faith after often seeking of the Lord and enquiry in his word according to that light I had received after I had declared my resolution and my grounds to the elder I withdrew according to the Apostles rule 1 Thes Hoping that by my withdrawing they might be more convinc't and that in time the Lord would make them sensible of their usurpations when they saw what effects were produced and so might put a stop for time to come to such proceedings and though I could expect little favour from them unlesse the Lord did convince them and so humble their Spirits yet having the Testimony of mine own conscience that I could say in in some measure with the Apostle herein did I exercise my selfe to have alwaies a conscience void of offence towards God and towards man and I considered that I should hereby keep and preserve mine own peace in having no hand in exalting of men and so opening a way to bring in mens inventions and to worship God according to the precepts of men And Mr Stucley himselfe in his Sermon on that black and dark day hath acknowledged as the Copie taken from his own mouth will testifie that I separated from them on pretence of conscience he might have left out the words on pretence unlesse he take upon him to Judge the heart and conscience although Mr Mall in his printed True account as he cals it hath not afforded me so much charity as to put in that perticular And Mr Stucley himselfe afterwards pag. 23. saith that I went away to avoid the censure here he contradicts himselfe more waies then one for 1. If I went away to avoid the censure then I could not separate on pretence of conscience but if this be denyed as the leaving it out of his printed Sermon may inferre so much 2. If I went away to avoid the censure then he must be forc't to deny that I am excommunicated justly for lying for how could I goe away to avoid the censure for lying afore ever I knew I should be charged with lying for I was never charged by him with lying untill such time as I had really withdrawen and separated from them The like Mr Allen hath allready declared of his wife pag. 24. of his Truths manifest that the pretended crime or cause of excommunicating her was in time long after she left them Therefore Reader take notice of his grosse contradiction of himselfe in what he affirmes And whereas he pretends that he had no quiet in his spirit that a person should lie so long suspended and give no evidence of Repentance and in his prayer that they have not past their censure in a revengefull way and that they could not answer the neglect of their censure one day longer If it be so why must he take liberty to himselfe to defame me in my name if it were the sinne only he aymd at why did he use such Epithites as discontēted lyer notorious lyer egregious lyer Bryer in our sides companion for damned spirits when as his conscience must needs tell him that he never accused me of one lie all those years that I was in fellowship with them And if he found me guilty of a lye let him produce what lye it was I never heard of any yet whiles I was with them and when since I left them he carged me at first it was then with an untruth And although I desired in our letter sent them to have the cause heard by understanding and impartiall men and promist to Submit yet
the power and priviledge to passe sentence for life and death within themselves and yet are accountable to the State they live in Pag. 16. An instance they give of their owne practice in a businesse of this nature of Excommunication wherewith some Churches were offended In this Case our Churches did mutually and universally acknowledge and submit to this as a Sacred and undoubted Principle and supreme Law to be observed among all Churches That as by vertue of that Apostolicall Command Churches as well as particular men are bound to give no offence neither to Jew or Gentile nor the Churches of God they live amongst so that in all cases of such offences or difference by the obligation of the common law of Communion of Churches and for the vindication of the glory of Christ which in common they hold forth the Church or Churches challenged to offend or differ are to submit themselves upon the challenge of the offence or complaint of the person wronged to the most full and open triall and examination by other neighbour churches offended thereat of what ever hath given the offence And farther that by vertue of the same and like law of not partaking of other mens sins the Churches offended may ought upon the Impenitency of those Churches persisting in their error and miscarriage to pronounce that heavy sentence against them of withdrawing and renouncing all Christian Communion with them untill they do repent And farther to declare and protest this with the causes thereof to all other Churches of Christ that they might do the like Pag. 21. It was openly and publiquely professed in a speech that was the Preface to that discussion to this effect That it was the most abhorred Maxime that any Religion hath ever made Profession of and therefore of all other the most contradictory and dishonourable unto that of Christianity That a single and particular Society within themselves should farther arrogate unto themselves an Exemption from giveing account or being Censureable by any other either Christian magistrate above them or neighbour Churches about them So farr say they were our Iudgements from that Independent liberty that is imputed to us So Mr Borroughs heart division p. 43. where he sayes Those in the Congregationall way acknowledge that they are bound in conscience to give account of their wayes to the Churches about them or to any other who shall require it this not in an Arbitrary way but as a duty they owe to God and man Reader here you see how wide and dissonant the judgements of those more learned of the Congregationall way are from the practice and proceedings of Mr Stucley his Church Those of that way acknowledging but hee denying submission to any examination or triall by neighbour Churches and hee and his Church claiming an Independent power or liberty to give no account or be subject to no others though accused and challenged for erring grosly in point of their Arbitrary unjust proceedings against us which is plainly manifested in Master Allen's booke called Truths manifest revived and will farther appeare in my ensuing Vindication to which I hasten This being to my best remembrance a true Relation of what passed between us untill the Excommunication THE VINDICATION BY that which hath been said in my Narrative it is manifest that I was never questioned much lesse admonished for lying untill my coming off from them that they never accounted me whiles I was with them such a vile person as now by their slanderous pamphlets they endeavour to make the world believe me to be and here I cannot but wonder at Mr Mall that he being a stranger to me and altogether ignorant of my manner of life and conversation should yet be so rash and inconsiderate as meerly upon reports to defame me in Print for which he is bound in conscience as he is a Minister if he be one a Christian yea as he is a man to give the Church of God mee and the world satisfaction The Notes saith he in his Epistle to the Reader of Mr Stucleys Sermon I am glad I took in short hand from his mouth or otherwise thou mightest never have seen a true Copy of them Surely if the Copy do agree with the Originall which some question I shall be so bold to affirme of both that they exceedingly disagree with the Truth in laying those Crimes to my charge which they are never able to prove as will sufficiently I beleive appeare in these my following Answers to their Severall Articles I shall begin with that of lying it being that which my accuser begins and almost ends with which he in many places of his book mentions with a great deale of pretended zeale and indignation which he indeavours to equall with the sin of Incest which he saith is a fault detestable to the very heathens Some of them this is the Cryme which he and his party especially charge me with both in Citie and Country crying out every where I am a lyar yea an egregious one and therefore justly Excommunicated This is in fine the Article on which the whole charge depends Before I come to the Charge it selfe in particular I shall crave leave to speake something in the generall concerning the apprehension I have of this Sin as also somewhat concerning Master Stucleys practice in reference unto it whereby it will be evident both how improbable it is that I should be such an Egregious lyer as hee hath made mee in his booke and also how unlikely it is that hee should be so zealously affected against lying as he therein pretends For the first of these Lying is that Sin which my Parents from time to time so represented unto me in the severall aggravations and deformities thereof as that I alwaies since I came to yeares of discretion abhorred and detested it both in my selfe and others I account a lyar unfit not onely for Christian Communion but also civill Commerce From the word and my own sadd experience I finde it to be an hereditary evill in all the sons and daughters of Adam That the heart is deceitfull and desperately wicked above all things who can know it That there is a way of lying in the best of men by nature in this sense let God be true and every man a lyer The guile deceipt falshood and hypocrisy which is in the heart is that which is a chiefe part and member of the bodie of death and that which makes it out of measure sinfull and an intollerable burthen to be borne As to the practice of this sin I do believe that it is not consistent with the worke of grace That he which lives in the practice thereof is not a member of Christ but a limbe of the divell it is so contrary to the God of truth so contrarie unto Christ who is the Truth and so contrarie unto the Spirit of Truth and so contrary unto the work of Regeneration as I cannot believe that such a soule as lives in
the practice thereof or hath slight thoughts of it was ever begotten againe by the word of Truth neither is it I conceive possible for such a one to enjoy comfortable communion with God I looke on it as a distinguishing Character whereby the Children of God are known from the children of the divel The Remnant of Israel shall not doe iniquity nor speak lies neither shall a deceitfull tongue be found in their mouthes Lyers are excluded from the New Jerusalem that cometh down from God out of heaven whosoever loveth and maketh a lie is in the number of those who are without The hundred fortie and four thousand that stand with the Lambe on Mount Sion having his fathers name written on their foreheads which follow the lambe wheresoever he goeth which were redeemed frō among men being the first-fruits unto God and to the lambe in their mouth was found no Guile I hope through grace in some measure I can say That I have seen such a desireable beauty in Truth as with David to hate and abhorre lying whatsoever is contrary unto truth guile deceit hypocrisie falshood a false heart false wayes false doctrines though under never so faire pretences when once they are throughly discovered And as to my practice as I desire to lay aside every weight that presseth down and the Sin that doth so easily beset me So is it my endeavour in all my approaches unto the Throne of Grace the word ordinances to obtain strength for the purging out more more of the Guile hypocrisie falshood and deceit that is in my heart and is still discovering it selfe before the Lord and ready to break out on all occasions which doth continually administer matter of lamentation unto me And because I find by sad experience that this body of death doth not lie idle but is still bringing forth fruit unto death and being not willing to rest in my own Testimony considering often that of Solomon he that trusteth his own heart is a fool and fearing also lest through corruption I might forget the miscarriages laid to my charge some yeares being expired ere ever I was questioned for them or put them off I did earnestly desire againe and again to speak with Mr. Stucley himselfe that I might know his grounds in charging me with lying but all to no purpose he could not be spoken with And so also since the Excommunication did I write unto him to know the particulars whereof I am accused in reference to lying that so I might accordingly either justifie or condemne my selfe But he in stead of satisfying my just and reasonable demand most imperiously and prelatically sends me a letter full of bitter Calumniations accusing me to be a Contentious dividing and lying Spirit without so much as naming any particulars As to the Second I might referre the Reader for proof hereof to his practice It will be found upon triall that he is not of Davids minde in Psal 101.7 to Banish from his house and sight every one that worketh deceit and telleth lies and though he pretend to banish mee upon that account from his society and fellowship yet he never questioned me for lying untill I departed from him untill I sent him word that I would come no more among them When he and Master Eveleigh accused me to Master Forde and Master Bartlet of lying Master Forde asked him whether he had ever admonished me for those things whereof he accused me To which he answered that he had not been faithfull unto me and that I had told him of it my selfe And Master Eveleigh added That they had much a doe to please me Had I continued with them I should without doubt notwithstanding all those lyes I am now accused of have been as favorably dealt with as two other of their members who were notoriously guilty of lyeing As to the first of them it was briefly thus we having beene enjoyned Secresie by Mr Stucley there was notwithstanding somewhat of our private Conferences divulged and made knowne Hereupon the next meeting every one was examined and charged in a solemne manner to declare whether they knew who it was that had revealed it To which a negative answer was returned by every one and when I desired Master Stucley to search after it more narrowly and presse it more closely upon them that the Lyar might be found out he put mee off with this that it had beene so in another Church and though he knew who it was afterward as I am informed yet the party was never admonished at any of our meetings Here was to be sure a negative and an affirmative a breach of promise and then a denying of that which was fresh in memory and which is more the words spoken in prvitae betweene our selves were mis-reported and yet Mr Stucley could quietly passe it over The other is John Whitehorne who offered to affirme with oath that which was by two or three of the members presently contradicted and yet Mr Stucley hath beene so farre from admonishing him for it as that I heare he is now become an Elder By all which it is more then probable that there is little of truth to be expected in his lying charge which he expresseth in these words Charge As for Mris Parr she is accused amōg other things for lying more than three times sufficiently proved in pag. 18. of his booke published by Mr Mall But when she was under Church admonition concerning severall things she was found tripping very much in reference to her Tongue and lying egregiously so that the whole Church could bear witness against her Resol If this Charge be throughly sifted it will be found faulty more wayes then one and so egregiously tripping and halting as that every unbyassed Reader may witnesse against it For 1. It runs altogether in the generall in affirming mee to be under Church admonition for severall things without naming any one And then in accuseing mee only of lying in generall without instancing in so much as one particular whereby others are possessed with a prejudice against mee and my selfe disenabled to alleadge any thing in mine owne defence not knowing how the particulars will be framed 2. Secondly it confidently asserts me guilty of lying more then three times sufficiently proved and that so egregiously as all the Church could witnesse against mee when as one of their principall members declared at that time when I was accused of Tripping in their meeting that hee thought there was never an untruth spoken but that every one spake as they remembred 3. Thirdly and lastly it sayes I was under Church admonition for severall things What hee meaneth by Church admonition I scarce understand if by Church admonition hee meanes that discourse which wee had together at the very time being ten dayes after I left them when as he saith I was found tripping I say it was no admonition as I conceived but onely an examination as appeares in my Narrative If he would insinuate
Charity This was witnessed by Seaven persons Solution This cannot prove me Contentious any more then the generality of them who have acknowledged that they did speak against her and some of them told me that whereas I had one thing against her they had twenty yea Mr. Stucley himselfe was so dissatisfied with her as that he took advice with another minister about her but I remember the law of Charity to the dead and therefore forbear to adde any more but refer the Reader to my Narrative where she is brought in as a witnesse against me for lying as she is here to prove me contentious Surely if Mr. Eveleigh did ever love her whiles she lived the best testimony he can give of it will be by letting her alone to rest quietly in her grave and not urge me any more to publish that which the law of Charity requires to be concealed Instance 5. She caused a great deale of disturbance amongst us after the Officers were chosen in pressing with much earnestnesse that Mr. Stoneham might be chosen Pastor this was witnessed by three persons Resol I know not what he meanes by disturbance nor who was disturbed neither have I any ground to believe that I caused the least disturbance to any as to this particular If I had caused such a great deale of disturbance amongst them it might have been witnessed by more than three witnesses And as for Mr. Stoneham I wonder they should alleadge him as an Instance of my Contentiousnesse now he is absent who when he was present in the name of the Church pronounced me innocent as to this very impeachment after he was Officer Inst 6. She did a long time contend for womens speaking in the Church and being admoshed for practising accordingly she did openly professe that she would not be present at Church meetings when matters were debated unlesse she might have that liberty and being denied she ever since contemptuously neglected Church meetings and slighted the officers of the Church In pag. 20 of Mr. Mall's book he laies down the charge in these words She took liberty of speaking in the Church for some time and being reproved by me for it from time to time there was a visible decay of affection to me c. Solut. That it is false as to the whole charge taken together appeares in that there are none as in the former particulars mentioned who did witnesse it neither will he ever find any unlesse they be desperately hardned that dare affirme it which I shall make evident in my Answers to the severall particulars thereof As to the first particular viz. she took the the liberty of speaking and she did a long time contend for womens speaking c. To this I answer 1 As for womens speaking it was usually practised amongst us by the rest of my Sex And it is well known that the power was pretended at first to be in the body of the people in the multitude so that every one had the liberty of assenting or dissenting of arguing and debating any matter proposed whether men or women If women were denied the liberty of speaking how could they declare their Experiences yea A. P. was kept off for refusing this 2. It is false that I took the liberty of speaking it was not only given me but the liberty of being silent was denied me and that by Mr. Stucley himselfe who would send for me at the meetings even then when there was never a woman of the Church but my selfe and afterwards many times he would single me out in the meetings and urge me very earnestly to declare my Judgment in reference to what had been proposed 3. As to my contending for womens speaking by my former Answers it appeares that Mr Stucley hath little reason to charge me with it unlesse he expected that I should be as fickle as himselfe in taking up and laying down opinions and practises as they suited with or thwarted his humour and interest As to the second particular whereas he saith he admonished and reproved me for it from time to time I answer That all the Admonition and Reproofe I had from him was that mentioned in my Narrative viz that my speaking was disrelishd by some whereupon I resolved Silence for the future although I had looked on the Contrary as my duty formerly which resolution I accordinglie kept alwaies after the Officers were chosen unlesse it were when I was required to give in my thoughts concerning a person proposed or asked a question yea Mr. Stucley witnesseth for me in the charge it selfe where he saith it was a long time that I contended for womens speaking and in Mr Mall's book for some time c. By which it is evident that I did not continue in the practise thereof to the last how can then my speaking be brought as an Instance to prove me contentious one ground of their Suspension neer three yeares after I had left of this practise As for what he saith followed on his Reproving and admonishing me viz. 1 A decay of Affection to him I answer if there were such a visible decay of affection he mistook the cause of it It was not his reproving of me no the reproof was so mild and gentle and at such a distance as that I had litle reason to be angry with him for it But it was his selfe-seeking and minding his own things more then the things of Christ c. against which I did declare my dislike both before and after this reproof and admonition As to what he saies that after their denying me the libertie of speaking I contemptuously neglected Church meetings and slighted the officers I answer that it is a grosse lye a lye so egregious as that the whole church can vvitnesse if they please against it For I was after this constantly at church meetings the liberty of speaking by a Brother being allowed me yea I declared that I was very much dissatisfied because the meetings after the Officers were chosen for conferring one with another were not continued as formerly I never absented my selfe but upon some necessary hindrance which was not often As for slighting of the Officers I answer that I gave them so much honour as was due unto them according to my power if they had not so much as they desired let them consider whether they did not desire more then they deserved They that rule well are worthy of double honour 3d Charge The Censoriousness of her Spirit was evidēced in her uncharitable language cōcerning the Presbyterians and us also reporting one to be fallen from the faith another to have nothing of God in her charging Mr. Stoneham to have walked contrary to the Apostles counsell 2 Cor. 4.2 And to have such expressions in preaching and prayer as were but as chaffe to the wheat And imputing the afflictions of some of the church to their unworthy receiving of the Lords body These were proved by many witnesses and her own letters Ans As to