What will be the next Word O my Soul how much am I concerned to know it Will it be Blessedness or Misery Will it be Life or Death This one Word is the Joy of Angels and the Horror of Devils the Unspeakable Delight of Blessed Saints and the Confusion and Despair of Condemned Sinners At the Creation of the World Time got the start of us and was five days elder than we but our Immortal Souls shall endure beyond the utmost Limits of Time and last as long as the Everlasting Father of Spirits of whose Duration there is no End Shall I then exist and live though my Body perish and see Corruption Shall my Soul my Self exist beyond the Grave in Felicity or Misery and that for ever and according to my present Actions What am I then most concerned to mind What am I to chuse What am I most to fear to wish to do What is a Shadow of Honour and Reputation among dying Men What are a few Drops of fleshly Pleasure for a Moment to Eternal Rivers of Pleasure at God's right Hand What are the sufferings of an Hour or two to the Pains and Anguish of Eternity What can the World Flesh or Devil give me comparable to Eternal Life What can I suffer in the way of Holiness that may be set in the Balance against an Everlasting Hell And yet how often O my Soul how boldly how unconcernedly how foolishly do I hazard the One and forfeit the Other for the Sins and Vanities of this World Whereas one Prospect of Eternity should make every thing that is Temporal appear little in my Eyes The highest Elevations of Earthly Greatness Abundance of Riches the Great Affairs Business and Employments of the World Pomp and Splendor and Reputation and all that now flatters the Senses and the Vanity of Mankind Oh! that I could but live as believing and expecting an Eternal State as having it in my Eye managing all my Affairs with a Visible Reference to it discovering to all the World by my Behaviour and Deportment that I do in earnest believe it certain for be it never so Certain if I do not apprehend and consider it as such it will no more affect me than a Fable Neither is it enough to consider it as certain but as near For the most weighty the most terrible things apprehended as at a great distance will little move Thinking of the long Interval between the advantage of being exempted from such Evils for so long a time will please me more than such distant Calamities will affright Let me therefore endeavour to impress the consideration of Eternity as at hand more deeply on my Heart that I may walk and live discourse and pray and demean my self in every thing as near an unchangeable State Am I not convinced that this is certain from the nature and operations of my Soul from the reflections of Conscience from the Righteousness of God in his Government of the World from the present unequal distributions of Good and Evil by his Providence and from the plain and frequent assertions of his Revealed Will I have nothing to object nothing to reply but I find a necessity of inculcating and urging the consideration of it in order to its influence I find it needful to reflect often how near I am to such an endless State that in one Instant by Death I enter upon it And that this Instant may be as near me as my next Thoughts That the holy Scripture describes the two contrary Conditions after Death and every Man and Woman in the World shall share in one of them as both Everlasting the one by Eternal Life Eternal Glory an incorruptible Crown that fadeth not away an incorruptible Inheritance an House Eternal in the Heavens c. the other by unquenchable Fire a Prison whence no escape Eternal Damnation Everlasting Burning Everlasting Punishment Everlasting Destruction a Worm that never dies wrath that is ever to come blackness of darkness for ever ever c. Think O my Soul that in One of these two contrary States I must abide for ever in endless Joy or Sorrow Blessed in the Presence of God or for ever banished from it And whoever thou art that readest this apply it seriously to thy self 't is thine own case Yea I tell thee from God that Holiness of Heart and Life is absolutely Necessary to the former and that without it thou shalt never see his Face but be punished with Everlasting Destruction from the Presence of his Glory Is this an Unquestionable Truth O let me consider it till I feel the Power and Efficacy of so Important a Principle let the Impression be Deep and Lasting let it pierce and enter into my very Soul to cool the Heats of Lust to quench Sensual and Earthly desires and to mortifie all Inordinate Affections to this World and fix my Resolutions to mind and seek Eternal Life with all my Heart These are not difficult and perplexed Niceties which wise and holy Men differ and disagree about They are not Metaphisical Subtleties which few can understand but the express Word of God and the daily Dictates of my own Reason and Conscience which all Christians and almost all Men in their Wits except in an Hour of great Temptation confess and own or whether they will or no are forced to expect and fear if they are not in a Condition to consider them with a joyful Hope Lord cure the unbelieving Doubts concerning these Great Things which notwithstanding the plainest Evidence the Devil may at any time suggest Iet a confirmed Faith be the Reality of what is thus future that my Soul may be influenc'd by them as it is wont to be by Things present Let it be the Substance of Things hoped for and the Evidence of Things unseen and as yet at a Distance as if the Day of Judgment were already come and there were no intermediate Time to pass between this and that O Eternity Eternity the more I consider it the more unfathomable still I find it Vnchangeable Blessedness or remediless endless Torments An Eternal Blissful Day or Everlasting Horror Darkness and Despair Life or Death Glory or Destruction to last as long as the Immutable Living God! None of the Patriarchs who lived longest arrived to the period of a Thousand Years which in comparison of God's Everlastingness is set forth but as one day But strictly considered Millions of Years and Ages have no proportion with it because no multiplication of them will amount to Eternity Whereas one Hour hath some proportion to an hundred thousand years because a certain number of Hours will amount to so many years But no number of Years or Ages never so often multiplied will make up Eternity As no substraction of Millions of Years will lessen it an entire Eternity will be still to come and will ever be to come When innumerable myriads of Years are past Eternity shall then seem but to begin because when as many more are over
be by the damned Spirits Oh that I might now feel more of this Heavenly Life begun and carried on in my Soul by a farther Participation of his Holy Image and Conformity to his Will by more vital Effects of his indwelling Spirit in my Soul forming it to be a Temple to himself for his own Delightful Residence that forgetting that which I have received I may still be Coveting and desirous of more forgetting what I have attain'd I may press on with an Holy Eagerness and Fervency towards the Mark When I seriously examine my own Heart had I nothing else to prove the Weakness of my Grace and the sinful Remainders of Unbelief but the low Desires and few Comfortable Thoughts the seldom joyful Prospect of this Blessed State how sad an Evidence were it of my low Attainments that I breath with no more Impatience after that Blessed Holy Rest in the Injoyment of God and Christ and labour no more in preparing for it When we profess to believe that all the Desires of our Souls shall be fix'd on Him and filled with Him as our Infinite and Supreme Good and all the Expectations of Faith and Hope swallowed up in Endless Admiration Gratitude and Joy being fully satisfied and at Rest in the Presence and Vision of God without the least Inclination or Desire of Change And by Consequence There will be no need of Novelty as now to a give a Relish to our Happiness All Happiness in this World is by comparing a Man's present Condition with his past or with that of some Inferiours But the Intrinsick Good Felicity and Joy of Heaven will need no such Foil to set it off no such Comparison to make it prized The Blessed Spirits will never lose the lively Sense of that low and miserable Condition from which they were raised to so great a Glory and so will ever equally rejoyce in the Happiness of their Translation and Wonderful Change And what was at first delightful will for Ever be so and not disdain'd or lessen'd by a Continuance as it happens in this World from the Emptiness Shallowness and Vanity of the Creature An Affectation of Variety and Desire of Change proceeding always from a Sense of Want But Holy Souls shall never be weary of Seeing Loving and Enjoying God his Blessed Presence will afford us Undecaying and Endless Satisfacton Pleasure never to be interupted or abated and never to cease The Blessed Object is absolutely Infinite and so will be always new to a Finite Understanding and Continual Fresh Communications from his Infinite Fulness must needs make our Subjective Happiness to be always new and Eternally such Let me by such Thoughts quicken and excite my Diligent Endeavours after a greater Meetness to injoy so great a Bliss And to that end Consider whether any of those Happy Souls who have finisht their Course and obtained the Prize do now regret their utmost Diligence Patience and Perseverance during their short Abode here to secure the Blessedness of an Endless Life No no they are far from repenting the Time they spent the Trouble they were at the Care they used the Difficulties they met with the Sufferings they endured to conflct with the World and the Flesh to resist Temptation to watch over their Hearts and Words and Ways to work out their Salvation to please God and be faithful to him c. They find to their Unspeakable Comfort and Everlasting Joy that Heaven makes amends for all they could do or suffer in order to their Coming thither Yea they find that they were not Diligent and Humble and Patient and Circumspect enough That they did not love God and seek his Glory redeem their Time and improve all their Talents and Opportunities of doing and receiving Good and give up themselves intirely to prepare for Heaven to that degree they should have done They find by the Transcendency of the Blessed Recompence that it deserved infinitely more than the most Active Zealous Christian upon Earth did ever do in order to it Lord Quicken my Resolutions and Endeavours by such Thoughts as these Inspire my Sluggish Carnal Heart with Holy Light and Life and Zeal and Fervour that looking to the Things which are not seen which are Eternal I may (*) 1 Tim. 1.19 lay up a good Foundation against the Time to come and so lay hold on Eternal Life But Alas How much have I neglected the great Duty of Holy Meditation How little Skill and Experience have I in it How tastless and inspid oftentimes are my Thoughts of God! how confused and unsteady how little Pleasure or Advantage have I by Contemplating his Highest Excellencies Yet methinks could I but retain the same awakened lively Thoughts of Heaven and Eternal Life which sometimes I have had might I continually feel the Sweet and Sacred Influence as for a little Season I have sometimes felt it how little how very a Nothing would all this World be to me How comparatively weak its strongest and most alluring Snares to draw me off from God! with what an unshaken Mind could I refuse and resist ' em with what an unconcerned Indifference could I look upon all its most charming Glory Could I maintain such a Frame of Spirit as I have sometimes had for a little while in the serious Contemplation of Divine Misteries in Fervent Prayers and other Solemn Duties of Religion when the Acts of Faith were strong and lively my Heart set on fire with Love to God and Holy Breathings after Him admiring his matchless Grace to fallen Sinners and to my Soul in particular when he brought me to the very Suburbs of Heaven tho' alas how seldom by the delightful Thought of what the Blessed Spirits above enjoy in being where Christ is and beholding his Glory when I was ready to say within my self 'T is good to be here this is no other than the Gate of Heaven Oh! when shall Mortality be swallowed up of Life But when I thought at any time to fix and settle in such sweet Contemplations how quickly did my lazy backward Heart fly off how soon did the Flame decay and dye away how soon did I find my self fallen down to Earth again sunk down from the Bosom of my Lord presently forgot my self and Heaven to dwell among the Pots and embrace a Dunghill 'T was not on my own Wings O Lord that I soared so high but I hope by the Breathings of that Holy Spirit of Light and Love who bloweth when and where and how long he listeth who gave me at any time any such first Fruits of the Spirit who convinc'd me of the Certainty of the Heavenly Inheritance by a lively believing Foresight of it who made me earnestly desire the Wings of a Dove to be gone and appear before God in Sion made me Pant and Groan to be delivered and to be with God and Christ with inexpressible Desire and Joy unconceivably mixt with Sighs and Groans O my God! let not this experience be only
fully known What inexpressible Sweetness might Believers tast by rejoycing in Hope did a more lively Faith realize all this to their Souls We might listen as it were to the Shouts and Acclamations of the Saints above and say Amen to their Thanksgivings We might behold them about the Throne of God and of the Lamb with Psalms of Victory in their Hands a Crown of Glory on their Heads and Songs of Triumph in their Mouths saying Allelujah * Rev. 4. c. 11. 5. c. 12 13. Worthy art thou O Lord to receive Glory and Honour and Power for thou hast created all things and for thy Pleasure they are and were created And worthy is the Lamb that was slain to receive Power and Riches and Wisdom and Strength and Honour and Glory and Blessing And again Blessing Honour Glory and Power be unto him who sits upon the Throne and to the Lamb for ever and ever Whence is it O my Soul if indeed I believe and expect all this that I can Hear and Read and Think and Speak of these great Things with no more ardent Affections suitable Preparations importunate Prayers and vigorous Desires How should the believing Thoughts of that Day promote my Heavenly-mindedness Self-denial Contempt of the World Patience and Perseverance Quicken my Zeal secure my Stedfastness and give Life and Spirit to my Prayers for the hastening of it How should my Soul rise towards Heaven by holy Love and Desire Ascend and meet him get as near him as I can breathe after more of his Presence and beg him to prepossess my Heart to anticipate his second Coming by clearer Discoveries of his Love and fuller Communications of his Grace Even so Come Lord Jesus XXIV Concerning the Examination of a man's Heart and Life the Reasonableness Advantages and Necessity of it Some Direction and Advice concerning the Time and Manner That we may know in what Preparedness we are for Eternity I Am hastening every Year every Day to the period of this Life I must shortly appear before my Glorious Judge and experience these Terrors or Comforts this Blessedness or Misery which I have now read of Shall I not therefore inquire which of the two belongs to me Is it not worth considering whither I must go and how I shall fare when I quit this Body What is like to be my next Habitation To which of the two unchangeable States I shall be adjudg'd Shall an Inquiry of so much consequence be put off to an indefinite hereafter Do I not desire to know the worst while a remedy may be found Or am I content to dye through an unwillingness to discover that I am Sick The Question to be resolved is of infinite weight Shall I not spend a few hours to know what will become of me for ever An error is more than possible 't is easie to mistake and the hazard of doing so is unspeakeably great How many thousands perish eternally even under the Light of the Gospel who never suspected their Danger How ordinary how common a thing is it for Men to be thus deceived How successful is the Devil in this Stratagem against the Souls of Men Is it not then a most criminal Stupidity to be contentedly ignorant and unresolved whether I am reconciled to God or no whether I am led by the Flesh or by the Spirit whether I am in the broad or narrow way which lead to such contrary ends that is whether if I die in this condition I shall be saved or perish Can such an enquiry be frivolous or indifferent Is the subject of it so contemptible or my concern in it so small that it merits not to be attentively considered Shall I never ask my Soul till I am leaving this World the unfittest time of all to begin so important an Affair what am I To whom do I belong Whose Image do I bear How have I lived and what do I do What do I love most What do I most constantly desire and chuse and seek How doth the Pulse of my Soul beat Is it quickest towards God or towards the World Whither am I going What will be the final upshot and issue of my present course Is it Heaven or Hell I must be translated to by dying What security have I got for Eternal Life What provisions have I made What Foundation have I laid How strangely infatuated are most Men who talk of an Everlasting Life as an Article of their Creed and say they count upon it that they must dwell in Happiness or Misery for ever and seldom or never bethink themselves in good earnest and for any time with a setled composed exercise of thoughts which of these Two is like to be their Lot Or if they begin to search and try themselves they come to no Conclusion or conclude too hastily they pluck off the Plaister as soon as it begins to smart they are either frighted with the horrid prospect of past Crimes or having escap'd the grosser Pollutions of the World judge too favourably of their own case They commonly do the Work but by halves and so go from the Glass and forget what manner of Persons they were Let me therefore O my Soul Sequester my self from the World to commune with my own Heart to reflect upon my past Life and look into my present State to recollect and review the most considerable Passages of my course and time hitherto O how neglected and disused a Practice is this which doth challenge and require our principal and most serious Concerns about it And how many begin it and are discouraged and leave off without reaching the end of such an Enquiry How much wiser in this respect are the Children of this World in their Generation than the Children of Light Who is so exact in his Accompts between God and his own Soul as Tradesmen in their Dealings with one another Who is at the pains to write down his Sins and his Mercies the grounds of his Fear and the Encouragements of his Hope or keeps a Journal and Diary of his Spiritual State Who doth at set times once a Month or once a Quarter or even once a Year take a just view of himself his Heart and Life and State as a Christian that he may see what he hath received and done what he owes and what he may expect that he may know whether he thrive or decay whether he increase or decrease whether he go backward or forward whether he be Richer or Poorer this Year than the last And is it not a Symptom that you are declining when you love not to examine your Accounts Is there not ground of jealousie and suspicion that you are behind-hand because you are loth to inquire whether you are or no And unwilling to know the worst of your Condition Nevertheless without such Enquiries and bringing the matter to a Determination at what uncertainties must we live And how unconceivable an hazard do all Hypocrites and unrenewed Sinners run And how reasonable how
the like Especially considering how my sins are aggravated by every Mercy I have received by every Affliction I have undergone every awakenning Sermon I have heard every motion of God's Spirit and every check of my own Conscience that I have resisted every offer of his Grace every warning of his Providence every invitation and call of his Word every purpose to Repent and every resolution I have made to forsake sin The greater knowledge I have had of my danger the longer time I have deliberated about it the oftner I have confess'd my sin and been sorry for it every reproof I have had from others and every promise I have made my self doth aggravate and encrease my Guilt How many Years hath God vouchsafed me to work out my Salvation But how little have I done towards it Had I died this last Year how unprepar'd must I have made my Appearance before his Tribunal What opportunities of doing and receiving good have I let slip Have I not made it more my business to seem Religious than really to be so How much of the Patience of God have I abus'd Refusing his Calls to Repentance resisting the strivings of his Spirit smothering my Convictions and turning the Grace of God into wantonness Instead of returning Gratitude for all his Love I have repeated my Transgressions after Forgiveness and gone in a circle of Repenting and Sinning even to this day Lord I am asham'd and lay my self in the dust before thee To me belongs nothing but shame and confusion of Face If God should condemn and punish me as a Rebel and a Traytor and give me the Portion of Hypocrites I cannot but own his Justices even in Hell I must do it with my flaming Tongue and Breath O spare me for thy Mercy 's sake Enter not into Judgment with thy servant for in thy sight shall no flesh living be justified if Thou lay Judgment to the Line and Equity to the Plummet Give me Repentance unto life never to be repented of never to be retracted again Bring me to the Blood of Jesus which cleanseth from all sin Behold the sighings of a contrite Spirit For I acknowledge my Transgressions unto thee against whom I have sinned O Lord forgive the Iniquity of my Sin I am unworthy to lift up my Hands and Eyes towards Heaven unworthy to be called thy Son or thy Servant I am vile in mine own eyes because I have made my self vile in Thine For this I am troubled and mourn and my Soul is grieved within me O thou Heavenly Physician of Souls from thy Pity alone I expect my cure I am miserable and undone without thy Compassion and expect no relief but from the Treasure of thy Grace I must perish and sink under the burden of Sin if thy merciful hand do not save me and lift me up I am intangl'd and insnar'd by the Devil and my Lusts and without thy Succour can never hope to get free O Lord forgive my Sin and heal my Soul Deliver and save me for thy Mercies sake May I not yet hope in thy Mercy Thou hast mercifully born with me hitherto Thou callest me to repent thou commandest me to return and promisest to forgive those Sins which are confessed and forsaken O do not cast me out of thy Sight and Presence now I desire from the bottom of my Heart to return to thee I abhor my self in dust and ashes for my past Iniquities But alas such is the hardness of my Impenitent Heart that I am even asham'd of my humblest Repentance how much more may God despise and reject it But hast thou not given thy Blessed Son to die for Sinners and exalted him to this very end to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins And by the word of thy Grace thou beseechest all even the greatest Sinners to accept of mercy and art more willing to Pardon than we can be to Repent 'T is thy Delight and Glory agreeable to thy Nature and declared Name as a God gracious and merciful slow to Anger and of great Kindness forgiving Iniquity Transgression and Sin O Pardon mine Iniquity for it is great and receive an humble Penitent who implores thy Grace according to the Tenor of thy new Covenant flying to the Arms of thy Mercy through the Merits of Jesus Christ who is able to save to the uttermost all that come unto God by him Lord hear my Prayer and let not the mixture of my weaknesses and unworthiness turn it into Sin but graciously vouchsafe to look upon a Returning Prodigal and cause me to hear the voice of Joy and Gladness that my sorrowful Heart may be comforted and my life be directed to thy Praise Lead me into the path of life that I may no longer err from the way of thy Commandments Teach me to do thy Will O God and write thy Law upon my Heart that I may never more return to Folly I am convinc'd of the Evil of Sin of thy Right to govern me of the Equity and Justice of thy Law of the Sweetness and Rewards of keeping thy Precepts O sanctifie my Heart and make me Sound in thy Statutes that I may hate every false way and be devoted to thy Fear the remainder of my Life If there be any particular Lust or Wickedness which through the power of Temptation and the deceitfulness of Sin you have fallen into that hath wasted Conscience and robb'd you of your Peace and provok'd God to write bitter things against you be sure to humble your self without delay in an especial manner for that Back-sliding Confess it freely with its Aggravations Consider whether it was not after some special manifestation of God's Love after some special Warning some strong Conviction under or soon after some great Affliction from God or some more than ordinary Kindness of his Providence c. And impress such Thoughts to humble your self the lower search into the grounds and causes of such Apostacy such as the abatement of your Watchfulness the neglect of serious closet-Devotion making bold with Temptation too great compliance with vain Company venturing too far in lawful or indifferent Things too much Confidence in your own Wisdom Strength and Stedfastness not fearing sufficiently the Approaches and Beginnings of Sin or avoiding the fuel incentives and occasions of it c. Palliate and disguise nothing that may make your Sin exceeding sinful lest by some little Art of the Devil you deceive your self by an half-Repentance and the Evil Spirit you think to be cast out return again with seven worse than himself and so your latter end be worse than your Beginning For if the Sin be not truly hated but only cover'd over with penitential Ashes it will quickly flame out again when it meets with combustible Matter and a strong blast of Temptation But if you are griev'd to the very Heart and abhorr the Sin and resolve to quit it you need not doubt of God's readiness to receive you
Actions to the Touchstone and know how to manage the sword of the Spirit on all occasions against the fiery Darts of the Devil That knowing the Rule I may not be doubtful or at a loss whenever I am tempted I may not make a stand to parley but immediately summon all my forces to resist and reject the Snare being assur'd from God that the Continuance of this Warfare shall end in a most Glorious Victory He will shortly tread down Satan under my feet Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ my Lord. XXVIII The Import and Obligation of our Baptismal Covenant The renewal of it by a solemn Dedication of our selves to God the Father Son and Holy Spirit exemplify'd and recommended ALL this O my Soul which I have now resolv'd on is no more than what I am obliged to by my Vow in Baptism to renounce the Devil and his Works the Flesh and the Lusts thereof the World and Conformity to it that I may Love and Serve the Lord Agreeable to the undoubted Right which God hath in me by Creation Redemption and his innumerable other Benefits But the outward washing of Baptism and a visible profession of obedience will not save me without the Answer of a good Conscience towards God 1 Pet. chap. 3. v. 21. May I not by the consideration of my Baptismal Covenant suppose God speaking to my Conscience to this effect Will you take me for your whole Portion and Felicity And my Law for the constant Rule of your obedience And fight against the World the Flesh and the Devil to your lives end Will you believe in Jesus Christ and receive him as a Prince and Saviour And adhere to the faith and obedience of the Gospel how hazardous and difficult soever the profession and practice of it may be Will you receive the Blessed Spirit as your Teacher Sanctifier and Comforter and cherish all his Motions to enlighten purify confirm comfort and assist you 'T is my hearty consent to these Terms and resolved compliance with them which Baptism obligeth to and this is the Answer of a good Conscience towards God I have often renewed this Covenant on several Occasions but did I ever duly consider the tenor and obligation of it How have I lyed unto the God of Truth Dealt deceitfully with him and been False and Fickle Treacherous and Unfaithful to what I promised O let me now again repeat it and give up my self once more to be the Lord's more unfeignedly more firmly than ever I have hitherto done That the Bonds of God upon me may be strengthened and my Soul more throughly ingag'd to be the Lord's O help me to do it with the greatest seriousness as the most important Affair of my whole Life By thine Aid and Grace alone shall I be sincere and cordial in this surrender and Dedication of my self O breathe upon my Soul most Holy Spirit the Power of the highest that there may be no Hypocrifie or Reservation in this so weighty and solemn Transaction between God and me O most Blessed and Glorious TRINITY Father Son and Holy Spirit thy favour is my Life and thy Loving kindness is better than Life Thy Will should have been my Rule thy Word my Law thy Glory my End to please thee my principal Business and to enjoy thy Love and Presence my ultimate Felicity But I am one of thy revolted Creatures who have lost thine Image and rebell'd against thy Law slighted thy Authority and rejected thy Grace and deserve to be cast out of thy sight and banisht from thy Presence for ever Nevertheless O most merciful God and Father upon thy gracious Invitation and Call I now return to thee my rightful Lord acknowledging thee as my Almighty Wise and bountiful Creator my absolute Owner my Righteous Governour my End my Happiness and Chief Good I now accept thine offer'd Mercy I now submit to the Scepter of thy Grace and give up my self to Thee as my King and my God to rule and sanctifie me now and be my Everlasting Portion I desire to be no longer my own but Thine to whom of right I belong and ought to be devoted I yield my self to Thee O my Lord Accept and possess that which is thine own I lay my self at thy Foot at all Times and in all Conditions to be at thy dispose and in every thing to acquiesce in thy good Pleasure Deliberately resolving with unfeigned and free consent of my Will to walk before Thee in Holiness and Righteousness all the days of my Life Hereby I consecrate and devote my self to be thy perpetual Avowed Servant Lord I am thy servant I am thy servant the Son of thine Handmaid Though other Lords have had dominion over me I will now make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only by Jesus Christ O blessed Jesus my All-sufficient Saviour Thy dying Love infinite Condescention and matchless Grace hath at last overcome me and constrain'd me to resolve to be wholly Thine who hast redeem'd and bought me with thy most precious Blood I now acknowledge and own Thee as my Lord and my Jesus my Prophet Priest and King my Sacrifice Surety and Ransom to satisfy for my Sins and reconcile me unto God to instruct me in his Will and teach me the Mysteries of his Kingdom and the way to the Father How often hast thou open'd thine arms and called me yea beseech'd me to come unto thee and accept of Life but I refused to come I adore thy merciful Condescention that yet thou wilt receive me on such easie Terms O thou Lord of Life and Glory now accept of an unworthy helpless Sinner who flies to Thee as his only Refuge and Hope who is convinc'd that None but Christ None but Christ can make his Peace with God and save from wrath to come I acknowledge thy Title to me and my Obedience and to all I have by dying for me I desire to take thy Yoke upon me for it is Easie and thy Burthen which is Light I desire to be intirely and for ever thine in an Everlasting Covenant never to be broken To take up the Cross and follow thee whithersoever thou shalt lead me through the straight Gate and the narrow way I will reserve no Lust refuse no Labour grudge at no Suffering stick at no Difficulty so I may please and honour thee and continue in thy Love O shed abroad more of thy Love in my Heart to make all Things easie for his sake who hath loved me and washed me from my Sins in his own Blood O God the Holy Ghost I acknowledge Thee as my Great Teacher and Sanctifier and give up my self to Thee as the Author of all saving Knowledge and Holiness By Thee I have been convinc'd of my Sin against the Law of God and the Gospel of Christ and of my necessity of his Merit Satisfaction and Righteousness to justify my guilty Soul by procuring the Forgiveness of Sin and my Acceptance with God and of the
freeness of his Love the Riches and All-sufficiency of his Grace towards all who come unto God by him I adore Thee O most blessed Spirit as proceeding and sent from the Father and the Son to renew all the Powers of my Soul and restore the Divine Image there to enlighten my mind to know and receive the Truth as it is in Jesus and purify my Heart and to sanctifie all the Members of my Body and make them Instruments of Righteousness unto Holiness which before were Servants unto Sin and gradually to deliver me from the power the defilement and abode of Sin as from the Guilt and Punishment by the Blood of Jesus And as the Witness of God to the Truth of the Holy Scriptures and as the Great Paraclete to comfort and establish the Hearts of Believers sealing them up to the day of Redemption and giving them the Earnest of the Heavenly Inheritance O blessed Spirit be thou my Witness that though I have violated the Law of God and defac'd his Image and formerly undervalu'd the Love of Christ and the Grace of the Gospel yet by thine Aid I now accept what I have so long neglected And thankfully devote my self henceforward to be the Lord's in a Covenant Relation But fearing and distrusting my self I give up my self entirely to the conduct of thy Grace depending upon it for my establishment and perseverance O form my Heart into an obediential Frame that in every thing I may endeavour to answer the Ends and Obligations of this Devoted State To this One God I have once again dedicated and resign'd my self to serve and please and honour Thee in Thought Word and Act to the last moment of my Life In the Performance of all Duties even those which I have been most averse from in the mortification of every Lust and the forsaking of every Sin even those which I was once most addicted to Resolving deliberately to allow my self in nothing great or little secret or open which I shall know or believe to be contrary to thy holy Will making it my business to be fruitful in good Works to the Praise of my Redeemer waiting in the use of all his appointed means for higher measures of Grace and Holiness to be more Victorious over inward Lusts and outward Temptations still pressing towards the mark for the prize of my high and holy Calling even Eternal Life I call Heaven and Earth O Lord to witness this day That I own and avow this to be my Mind and the setled Prevailing Purpose of my Soul This I again ratifie and confirm without any Clauses or Exceptions So help me O my God Glory be to God the Father God the Son and God the Holy Spirit XXIX Practical and Consolatory Reflections on the preceding Self-dedication or Covenant with God I Have this day solemnly Avouched the Lord to be my God to walk in his ways thereby to fortifie my Resolutions that I and my * Deut. 6.17 18. House and All that I can persuade to be of my mind will serve the Lord. I intend desire and hope never willfully to Violate the Faith which I have now plighted in the presence of God but to continue stedfast unmoveable always abounding in the work of the Lord c. Should I undertake any new Imployment or enter into any new Condition or change the place of my Abode where I might see more of God's dishonour and meet with more and stronger Temptations to Sin and be called to the performance of more difficult Duties greater Watchfulness and Self-denial c. I would hope hereby to engage the Presence of God with me and his Blessing on all my Affairs on which depends the success of all that I undertake and would hope the better to preserve my Integrity not only This Year but in all the remaining portion of my Time by the abiding sense of my Covenant with God thus seriously renewed This is the Method I have been often advis'd to for Peace of Conscience under doubts and scruples concerning my spiritual state to put the matter out of doubt by again accepting the offered Mercy and Grace of the Gospel and heartily consenting to the New Covenant giving up my self to God in Christ to be ruled and saved by him Blessed be God I have now done so Lord say Amen to thy part of the Covenant that Thou art and wilt be my God as I desire unfeignedly to do to mine that I will be thy Servant But because Articles are sooner consented to than made good tho' I seriously intend never to disown this my solemn Act and Deed but firmly to adhere to it as long as I live that having sworn I will endeavour to perform it that this shall be my Everlasting Choice never to be recanted or alter'd yet considering the sad Instances of my former Weakness and the vigilance and subtle malice of my Great Adversary I again implore the succour of Divine Grace to keep it for ever in the purpose of my Heart that it may be as the Laws of the Medes and Persians never to be reversed I have given up my Name to be Thine O put thy fear into my Heart that I may never depart from Thee Imprint thy Laws upon my Heart that my Obedience may be uniform and universal unwavering and perpetual suitable to so honourable and near a Relation to Thee I am sensible I want Wisdom and Strength to that purpose but thou hast bid me ask it of Thee who givest liberally to All without desert and upbraidest not with present unworthiness or former faults O lead me not into Temptation but deliver me from Evil. Stand by and strengthen me in the Hour of Trial lest I forget my Vows and deny thee O that my Soul may never draw back lest Thine have no pleasure in me I can serve no better Master O let mine Ears be bored to the door of thine House as the Token and Assurance of my being thy Servant unto Death I know 't is my Duty I am sensible 't is my Privilege and Honour I am convinc'd that 't is my Interest and Felicity my Soul my Life my present and everlasting Welfare and All depends upon it that thou shouldest be my God for ever O conduct me by thy Holy Spirit of Grace that I may walk and act as having heartily consented he should be so and direct my Heart into thy Love and the faithful keeping of thy Commandments That when so many Professors make shipwrack of Faith and a good Conscience and discredit the Religion of my Lord by their shameful Falls thou may'st make me to stand and improve the warning of their Examples to walk humbly and while I stand to take heed lest I fall Having thus surrendred my self to God what is there O my Soul that is ever like to prevail with me to go back and revolt from him Is the gratification of a Lust the securing of an Estate compliance with a Friend the pleasing of a Superior
necessary Physick made an Instrument of Vertue and so a Token of his Love Therefore * Psal 89. ver 1. I will sing of the Mercy of the Lord for ever and with the voice of Thanksgiving will I make known his Faithfulness He hath all along conducted me by his Wisdom guided me by his Providence and the Angel of his Presence hath directed my Path and order'd all my Goings He hath been a Cloud to me by Day and a Pillar of a Fire by Night he hath helped me in my Straits and supply'd my Wants and comforted me in all my Sadnesses His powerful and gracious Presence hath been my constant Guard and his Soveraign Never-failing Goodness hath compast me about with Mercy on every side For which O most Merciful Father my Soul and all that is within me desires to speak thy Praise The advantageous Circumstances of many divine Favours do raise their value and deserve to be particularly observ'd and acknowledged How suitably how seasonably how wisely hath he conferr'd his Benefits with what Tenderness and Kindness with what Freedom and Readiness of his own Bounty and Good-will without any Necessity or Obligation on his Part without any Desert and sometimes without so much as a Prayer on mine And what is more notwithstanding my Ingratitude and Forgetfulness of Him and great Provocations heightned by the abuse of so much Mercy demanding nothing after all in requital of so much Kindness but my Acceptance of his Love and grateful sense of his Goodness and the sweetest and most reasonable Expressions of it by Thankful Obedience More especially would I bless the Lord for enlightning my Mind in the Great Mysteries of Religion disposing in wonderful Wisdom the several Means and Methods whereby he brought me to the knowledge of the Truth by Parents Ministers Friends Acquaintance Books Afflictions c. Beginning with me in Childhood awakening and cultivating the inbred Notions of God and Natural Religion of Good and Evil Rewards and Punishments by the careful Instructions of Parents or others concern'd in my Education giving me the advantage of Good Examples Counsels and Encouragements to know and do well with more assistance and less hindrances and diversions than to many others Particularly for the Excellent Privilege and Inestimable Blessing of his Holy Word and Sacraments the liberty of the Christian Religion in the Purity of it in most of those Places where God has been pleas'd to cast my Lot Causing me to lay down in green Pastures and leading me beside the still Waters Instructing me in the Revelation of his Will and Grace by Jesus Christ acquainting me with the sublime Principles and Articles Precepts and Rules Promises and Hopes of the Gospel in order to Eternal Life I bless Thee O Lord and shall for ever do so that with any or all these Advantages and Helps thy Holy Spirit hath taught me to know the Truth as it is in Jesus heartily to believe and obey it That by thy Grace I have been convinc'd of Sin and brought to Repentance shewing me the necessity of a Saviour to make my peace with Thee the All-sufficiency of his Grace the Fulness of his Merit the Freeness of his Love and his readiness to receive me to Mercy inviting and calling me to it and enabling me to accept his gracious Invitation and obey his compassionate Call making me willing by a Powerful and Victorious Grace drawing me with Cords of Love and so effectually persuading me to consent to thy Covenant and comply with thy Message on the gracious Terms of the Gospel Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ who through his abundant Mercy hath begotten me again to a lively Hope having humbled my proud Heart and conquer'd the perverseness of my stubborn Will and brought my Soul to an entire subjection to himself who took pity on me when he saw me in my Blood spread his Skirt over me cast a Mantle upon my Nakedness wash'd me from my Sins and put his own Comeliness upon me by Sanctification who open'd my Eyes when I was leaping blindfold into the Pit of Destruction who healed my Soul when I was sick unto death who rescu'd and recover'd me from the Slavery of the Devil when I was led Captive by him at his will Shall not a ransom'd redeemed Slave be thankful to his Deliverer Shall not a miserable undone Sinner who is received to Mercy be thankful for a Pardon Awake O my Soul and utter a Song of Praise to him * Pasal 103.3 who forgiveth all thine Iniquities and healeth all thy Diseases who redeemeth thy Life thy Soul from Destruction and crowneth thee with Loving-kindness and tender Mercies Hath he made thee Partaker of his own renewed Image and Likeness given thee his Son his Grace his Spirit and taken such a wretched Creature into so near a relation to Himself and promised to be thy God and Guide thy Portion and thine Inheritance thy Friend and thy Physician thy Sun and thy Shield and thine exceeding great Reward and shall not my Soul speak aloud his Praise Hath he been †Isa 43.14 merciful to my unrighteousness and blotted out my sins Hath he gathered me with his Arm and carried me in his Bosom Hath he been my Saviour and Redeemer adopted me into his Family and promis'd to make me Blessed in his Glory with the Holy Angels the Curse being removed and the Hand-writing against me cancell'd the Price paid the Breach made up the Mouth of Justice stopt and the condemning Sentence of the Law exchang'd for a gracious Pardon through the Sacrifice of my Blessed Lord Jesus and shall I not praise his Incomprehensible Love and Grace I likewise thank thee most Holy Father for saving me from Guilt and Ruine when assaulted by powerful and dangerous Temptations that by Preventing Mercy or Restraining Grace thou hast kept me from many scandalous and presumptuous Crimes I thank Thee for making the Sins of Others a Warning and a Caution to Me an Argument to Humility and a Motive to Watchfulness for preserving my Judgment from many Errors and Delusions by which others are seduced for enabling me to improve any Opportunities of doing Good and making me in any thing useful to Others yea I thank thee for all thy Mercies to other Christians for all the Gifts and Graces and usefulness of any of thy Servants wherein as a Member of the same Body I desire to rejoyce for any Support and Comfort to me or any of them under honourable Sufferings for thy Name 's sake I desire unfeignedly to bless Thee for any Succour Relief and Victory with respect to the Snares and Buffetings of Satan and the vilest of his Temptations When he hath tempted me to Apostacy and Infidelity in Speculation or Practice to question the Truth of the Holy Scriptures and the Life to come to doubt of the Foundations of the Christian Faith or to despair of the Mercy of God and give up the Reins to sensual
Lusts or to draw me from God by the love of the World and the praise of Men by Evil Company Intemperance secret Wickedness c. I bless Thee with my whole Soul for calling me back from any of my Wandrings and by Infinite Goodness recovering me after great Falls enabling me to return when I had gone astray and seek thy forfeited favour that thou may'st heal my Backslidings giving me in order to it a deep sense of my own Sin and of thy Soveraign Grace leading me to a Saviour whose Blood cleanseth from all sin when my guilty defiled Soul so much needed its pardoning and cleansing Vertue awakening me to make holy Vows and calling upon me by thy Word and Spirit and Providence to perform them I bless Thee who hast guided my feet into the way of Peace when by the Terrors of an accusing Conscience and the sense of unpardon'd Sin and the Apprehensions of thy deserved Wrath I was ready to Despair that tho' thou didst most justly hide thy Face at any time it was but for a little while but didst seasonably and in Mercy return to wipe off my Tears restore the Joy of thy Salvation and chace away the clouds and darkness on my Spirit by the reviving Presence of thy own Thou who art the Author wilt be the Finisher of my Faith and therefore tho' thou hast visited mine Iniquities with a Fatherly Rod yet thy loving-kindness thou hast not taken from me or suffered thy faithfulness to fail or thy Covenant of Peace to be removed but hast refreshed me with hidden Manna after great Perplexities saying unto my Soul I am God even thy God Thou hast made me to hear thy Voice which was sweet and to taste thy Love which is better than Wine enabling me to say with thine Apostle Thomas My Lord and my God and to have had some Communion with Thee since in publick or private Duties For all these Innumerable Mercies I desire to praise Thee which yet are but in order to greater I hope in order to Everlasting Kindness in Heaven These are but the Taste and Earnest of what thou wilt bestow hereafter Oh how great is his Goodness that he hath laid up for those that fear him And now Lord what wait I for my hope is even in Thee I thank thee who hast thus put it into my Heart to render thee solemn Praise and once more to renew my Covenant with Thee I will magnifie the Lord and my Spirit shall rejoyce in God my Saviour Return unto thy rest O my Soul for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with me (a) Psal 104.33 While I live I will praise thee and sing Praises unto my God while I have a Being O come and behold the Works of the Lord what he hath done for my Soul The Lord liveth (b) Psal 18.46 Blessed be my Rock and let the God of my Salvation be exalted Let my Heart be glad and my Glory rejoyce for the Lord is not asham'd to be called my God Thanks be to God who hath caused me to triumph in Christ Jesus Sing unto the Lord O ye his Saints and give thanks at the remembrance of his Holiness (c) Psal 30. I cried unto Thee and thou hast healed and sav'd me I will give thanks to Thee for ever (d) Psal 119.62 I will shew forth thy loving-kindness in the morning and thy faithfulness every night For the Lord is Good his Mercy is Everlasting and his Truth endures throughout all Generations O enter into his Gates with Thanksgiving and his Courts with Praise be thankful unto him and bless his Name Bless the Lord all ye his Works in all-places of his Dominions Bless the Lord O my Soul Let me add for a Conclusion That the particular Deliverances Supports and Consolations which at any time God hath given in Cases of great Exigence or in answer to importunate Prayer ought never to be forgotten Many experienc'd Christians have been wont to write down such remarkable Appearances of God for them with the particular Circumstances that did recommend and enhance the Mercy whether Spiritual or Temporal as an Encouragement to trust in God in future Difficulties And have afterwards found the Comfort and Advantage of being able to have recourse to such Papers This Practice I recommend as what hath been useful and consolatory to divers Christians for many years afterwards and to some others of their more intimate Friends to whom they might without vanity be imparted What Experiences might be recorded of signal Returns to Prayer and seasonable Manifestations of the Truth and Goodness and Wisdom of God if all the Instances thereof were duly recollected and preserv'd And how sweet and pleasant would the Work of Prayer and Praise then be With what rejoycing and delight should we set about it and live in it if the constraining Goodness and Love of God and a thankful Sense of his unspeakable Mercies did bring us to him and indict and animate every word What Support and Comfort and probable Hopes at least of the special Love of God might we derive from the various Passages of his Compassion and Kindness And hereby we may be able more heartily to give him Thanks for Pardon Sanctification and Adoption which we commonly mention with too much doubt and fear It may likewise be Advisable To examine and record the Workings of your own Spirit under such Dispensations What Thoughts you then had of God What Acts of Faith Love and Thankfulness you did then manifest What Evidences of God's Favour and what discovery of your own Sincerity you have had at such times When and how and by what means you were cur'd of your uncomfortable Unbelief and rais'd from your Despondency What Promises you had recourse to for relief What Considerations were most helpful to you What frame of Spirit you kept up in Prayer before and after What Resolutions and Engagements you made to God to love and trust and praise and serve him and give up All to his dispose for the future And what consequent Obligation may be inferr'd from thence to acquiesce in the Will of God and resign our selves entirely to Him saying This God is our God for ever and ever and He will be our Guide unto Death THE APPENDIX From what Time the Jews reckon'd the Beginning of their Year Of the Difference between their Sacred and Civil Account The Feast of Trumpets on the First Day of the Year Its Institution Nature and Design the Traditions and Customs of the Jews respecting that Day UPon the Deliverance of the Jews out of Egypt the first Month which began with the New Moon next to the Vernal Equinox was to be accounted Exod. 12.1 the beginning of Months it answers to the latter end of our March and the beginning of April and is sometimes called Nisan and sometimes Abib It was ordinarily after that Deliverance reckon'd the First Month of the Year in their Sacred or Ecclesiastical Account The Computation of
will blast the fairest Reputation with the far greatest part of the World It may be lost by unwary Mistakes by false Reports by Envy and Malice by the subtle Hatred of Enemies or by the Weakness and Credulity of Friends who will listen to every Back-biters Story or by one or two Indiscretions of the Man himself and no Man can be certain to secure his Reputation whilst he lives much less after he is dead Who can content all Men however he live And who is well spoken of by all when he is dead Who is so esteemed that some do not despise him The wisest Conduct cannot hinder but some will judge hardly and amiss How vain and faulty is an Ambition to be talkt of after we are dead which will be but by very few and that very differently and but for a little while There is no Remembrance of former things neither shall there be of things to come with those that shall come after Eccles 1.11 For how little a while do the proudest Monuments last that are set over the rotten Flesh and Bones of many to preserve their Memory God hath promis'd 't is true that The Righteous shall be had in everlasting Remembrance but it must be understood so far only as the frame and state of this World and the Revolutions and Vicissitudes of Time will permit But what Good can it do us farther than the Interest of God's Glory and the Good of others is concerned in it The Blessed will not need it and the Damned have no Advantage by it And no Endeavours can be certain of Success For People will talk of us as they please and their Opinions very often change from one Extream to the other But he who hath the loudest Fame shall only be talkt of a little longer than his Neighbours and that by a few dying Men that must themselves be e're long forgotten And how small a part of the inhabited World is acquainted so much as with the Name of the greatest Men in Europe And how different and contrary are mens Opinions and Discourses of them where they are known and talkt of And how many holy excellent Persons are buried in Oblivion or mis-represented as unworthy to live on Earth whose Names will be found in the Book of Life Our Life is yet as mutable and uncertain as any of theirs The Time is hastning when we shall be too old to Live but at any time we are old enough to Die Our Breath is in our Nostrils and though there be room enough for it to go out we have no Assurance that we shall have power to draw it in again SECT III. Of the Uncertainty of living to the Period of another year The Vanity of this Life The Swistness of Time and how to be improved I Now begin another Year But what Assurance have I to out-live it I cannot not say how soon my Sovereign Judge may call me hence and summon me to appear before his Righteous Bar. O let me not defer my necessary Preparation for Death which may be nearer than I imagine Let me mind the Great things first which are of absolute necessity to be done some time or other before I dye This perishing Body which I have pampered and indulged at the expence of so much Cost and Time may be putrifying in a silent Grave before half this Year be past Lord bless this thought to awaken my diligent endeavours to secure the Blessedness of Eternity to mortifie the desire of Great Things for my self in future Years by the considered Possibility of dying before the end of this Let me look into the Graves of others and consider that this may quickly happen to me and must ere long be my own ease Let me think what this Body will shortly be when it hath been six or eight days separated from my Soul how vile how loathsome that I may despise the Beauty and be dead to the Pleasures of the Body which so easily so suddenly so strangely may be changed For no Glass is more brittle no Bubble more vanishing no Ice more dissolving no Flower more fading no Shadow less substantial no Sleep or Dream more deceiving no Sound more transient nothing more vain and more uncertain than Life on which all other things in this World depend My days are as nothing saith Job though they lasted above two Ages There is hardly any thing very frail and feeble mutable and uncertain but the Spirit of God in Scripture sets forth the Vanity of Life by as if he would teach us by it from the Light of every perishing Object which our Eyes behold to reflect on our own Mortality We sleep every Night in the outer Chambers of Death And in some Diseases Sleep which is the image and Picture of Death is taken away to give place to the Original and make way for death And every year every week every day are we hastening to our final Change which may overtake us e're we are aware Every day we lose some part of our Lives in our very growth from Infancy to Manhood our Life decreases and grows less Every Pulse and Breath doth tell us we are hastening to the End of Time and calls upon us to dispatch our Work If we consider * Dr. Donn's Devotions Time to be the measure of Motion however it may seem to have three Stations Past Present and Future yet the First and Last of these are not one is not now and the other is not yet That which you call Present is not now the same it was when you began to call it so in this Line before you sound that word Present or the Monasyllable Now the Present and the Now is past If we consider Eternity into that Time never entred Eternity is not an Everlasting Flux of Time but Time is a short Parenthesis in a long Period and Eternity had been the same as it is tho' Time had never been If we consider not Eternity but Perpetuity which shall out live Time and be when Time shall be no more What a Minute is the Life of Man to that How soon must it end Every Word we speak is formed of that Breath whereby we live and we may not live to pronounce another Sentence but the Lamp of Life may be extinguisht and blown out by a sudden Blast Every thing we do carries away some Sands of our little Glass of Time and how little may remain Or how soon may the Glass be broken Our Souls are in our Bodies as a little Air inclosed in a thin Bubble how easily is that broken and where are we How many who are now alive in health and vigour who deliberate on their Meat and Drink and are curious of Air and Exercise to maintain themselves in Health and please themselves with the Dream of Years to come shall never see another New-years-day It may be not another Month or week or morrow Many have promised themselves great things on the morrow but dyed before
bed of sickness breathing out his last faint breath and passing into the other world to answer for the Crimes and Follies of a wicked Life Lord revive these thoughts upon my Soul and let me feel the power and influence of them in the hour of Temptation and in every time of need and let the consideration of the death of Believers the Blessedness they are thereby entred into and the Happiness they are possessed of quicken my desires and diligence to prepare to follow When I think were they are and what they are doing what is their work and what their state what their continual imployment and what their enjoyments and how different from ours I cannot but wish to be with them to be as they are and do as they do to know and love and praise God as they They are not hindred by such a clog as this Body is to us or tempted by their senses appetite and fancy to sin against Him They complain not of a seducing Flesh unruly Passions low and disordered thoughts of temporal Afflictions spiritual Desertions the snares of the World and the malice and subtilty of the Devil We who are Pilgrims and Travellers are exposed to these difficulties and storms which they are freed from They are now rejoycing in the light of God's Countenance and shall never question his love more while we are in Tears and Sorrows groaning to be delivered But think O my Soul that They were lately such as We are now They were members of the militant Church before they entred into Joy and Triumph They had their conflicts and difficulties their hour of Temptation and time of Trial as we have ours They were slandered and persecuted and sadned and disappointed as their Followers are They went to Heaven the same way and got the victory after the same manner by Repentance and Faith and humble persevering Obedience They were once Imperfect as we are now and complained of the Body of Sin and Death and struglings of unmortified lust as we do And were sometimes in the dark about their interest in the promise and walked heavily by the hiding of God's face and indured Temptation even as we And as we have nothing to do or suffer but what they met with we have the same Encouragement that administred to their support the same God and Saviour the same way and rule the same Assistance by the aids of his Holy Spirit offered to us the same promises and the same rewards proposed which they enjoyed first in faith and hope and afterwards in fruition Yea they passed through the dark valley and so must we Their Earthly tabernacle was dissolved and so must ours be We must expect to go the same way to Rest and Glory and wait God's time for our admission We must finish first the work which God hath for us to do and suffer and then all Tears shall be wiped from our eyes we shall grieve no more we shall sin no more but be as the Angels in Heaven or as the Spirits of the Just made Perfect SECT XIII What Influence the Consideration of Eternity would have upon our Hearts and Lives if soundly believed and considered especially if the supposition of Dying this year be annexed to it WIth what Humility Mortification and Self-denial what Seriousness Watchfulness and resolved Constancy would every Christian Live on Earth did he act always under the influence and power of a confirmed Faith concerning the Life to come We should not then grudge at a little labour or boggle at a few difficulties in our Way What tho' I meet with injuries and affronts hardships and inconveniences being now in a Forreign Country and every day I live one Days journey nearer my Eternal Home Shall I not patiently bear momentany Sorrows while I believe I am hastening to Eternal Joy Did I look more to the Everlasting World should not I make the pleasing of God in order to my Eternal welfare the great business of my Life Should I not serve the Lord with more fervency of Spirit and be better fortified against the fears of Man who can but hurt and kill the Body nor that neither without the permission of God Shuld I not order all my affairs answer all Temptations mortifie inward Lusts live in the Exercise of Grace and in circumspect persevering Obedience in order to it Should I not watch more over my Heart and Lips and Ways be more diligent to trim my Lamps more crucified to this world more careful to call my self frequently to an account and renew my Repentance Would not my Converse be more useful and edifying my Discourses more savory and full of Religion my Prayers to God more humble and earnest my Charity to Men more unfeigned and extensive and my Preparations every way more suitable to such a Faith and to such Apprehensions of an Everlasting State Could we carry the thoughts of Eternity about with us every day and often admit them in our civil and secular affairs did we repeat it frequently to our selves at least every Morning as soon as we are awake that we are near Eternity this grain of Incense would perfume the whole Temple and be an Antidote against inward Lust and impure thoughts against the infection and defilement of bad Company and the snares of worldly Business and do much to prevent vain and sensual actions and to cure vain affections Did we believe it and believe it near should we not take as much pains to secure Eternal Life as we see Men do to get riches Should we not use the same diligence care and circumspection the same prudent foresight watchfulness and perseverance to prevent Everlasting Destruction as others do to provide against Poverty and to live in Plenty a little while on Earth Should we not rejoyce as much in the promise and hopes of it as others do in the prospect and expectation of some Earthly Advantage Lord I confess and bewail the weakness of my Faith How often have I concluded and said that Heaven alone is the place of Happiness and yet my carnal Heart is too much affected with Earthly Things How often have I re-resolved upon the conviction of the certainty of the Eternal World to mind this less and to affect and seek it no more as I have done and yet my foolish Heart is hankering after it still O crucifie my Affections to things below and let the believing Thoughts of the next Life render me victorious over all the Temptations of this Pardon and cure the staggering trembling Thoughts of an unbelieving Heart by greater measures of a lively Faith That my desires may be strong and urgent and my diligence and stedfastness in the way of Truth be some way correspondent to this important Article Let me live only for Eternity hope for nothing but Eternity design and intend nothing as my chief end but Eternity and seek and mind nothing in comparison with Eternity Did we believe it how would every thing in this World
an Alexander or Caesar and that of their meanest Slaves or Captives Could their Dignities and Earthly Glory preserve any of them from the Stroke of Death or the Judgment of God or without Repentance from his condemning Sentence Think O my Soul how little it will shortly signifie whether I have been known and honoured among Men or no any farther than God may be glorified by it How should it suppress Vain-Glory to think of being one day esteemed and worshipt reverenced and applauded by dying Men and laid in the Grave the next Let me rather seek that Glory and Honour to which Immortality is annext and labour to be accepted with God at whose Bar I must be judged endeavouring to keep the Testimony of a good Conscience and then it is not much whether I pass through Good Report or Evil Report no Contempt or Frowns or Threatnings of Men need then discourage me Tho' I should be trampled on by the Foot of Pride while others are happy in a Dream for a little while and it may be have a prosperous Passage to Damnation I 'll rather thank God for delivering me from their Temptations and giving me the Opportunity and Call to hasten my Preparations for a Better World Let God dispose of my Condition here and Reputation too as best shall please his Sovereign Will only be pleased to keep me upright and to preserve me from Everlasting Shame and Confusion of Face after the general Resurrection and final Judgment Vouchsafe me a Portion now in thine approving Love and own me for Thine at last in the great and terrible Day of Reckoning that then I may hear the Blessed Euge and enter into my Lord's Joy SECT XVII The same Argument considered farther as dissuasive from Worldliness and Earthly-mindedness and as proper to confute the Vanity of long Projects and great Designs for this World ARE the Years of my Life but few and they hastening to a Period and may this be my last Let me not then greedily covet Riches and Abundance and waste my little time to scrape together large Provisions for many years to come when I have no Assurance to see the End of this Is it becoming such a Belief to toyl from Day to Day that I may lay up that which I must so soon leave As if I were to spend an Eternity here on Earth and in the mean while neglect the One thing necessary Am I not upon the Shore of Eternity May not the next Tide carry me off And shall I spend my whole Life in Diversions from the main Business of it Have I nothing else to do but to gather Shells if they were Pearls the absurdity were still the same and pile them upon Heaps till I am snacht away past all Recovery Shall I be regardless of an Eternal State and run the Hazard of being undone for ever by sollicitous Care about pretended Necessaries for a long Abode on Earth Much less for Superfluities when I am not certain of the Possession this one Year Shall I magnifie and admire what is so soon to be parted with Value my self upon these Things so as to Despise those that have less and-Envy such as have more and suffer my Mind to be distempered and my Passions immoderate on every Change of these things Tho' I know besides my own Mortality that to inforce the Argument there is a Principle of Corruption in all these Things that our very Manna here in a little while will stink and Bread which is the Staff of Life moulder our richest Garments wax old and rot Silver and Gold rust and the greatest Beauty wither and every thing that is Earthly decay and perish And shall not this teach me to sit loose from all such things Can I imagine that in my last Hour it will be easier to part with much than little Or better in the Day of Judgment to have a great Estate to answer for than a lesser One We read concerning the Patriarch Abraham who rightly understood the Transitory Nature of Riches and his own mutable Condition that the only Purchase he made with his Riches was a Grave chusing to take Possession of the Land promised him rather by a Mark of his parting with it than of his possessing it Did I think oftner and more seriously O my Soul of tarrying here but a little while I should more easily be perswaded that a little of this World were sufficient to carry me through it I should consider more that my Heaven-born Soul is made and designed for another an Endless World And therefore should not so far forget his own People and Fathers House as eagerly to pursue and seek what is suited only to the Body for a little while and whereof a little with Contentment will be sufficient The same Reflection may be useful to contract our Thoughts to present Duty that we may not perplex our Minds with long Designs and Projects which if we dye this Year will come to nothing Our great Business in this World is adapted to the little Portion of Time which is allowed us Not that good Designs for the Publick Benefit may not be begun by one and finisht by others or that we are not obliged prudently to provide for those who shall come after us by attempting many Things of probable Advantage to Posterity But considering the Shortness and Uncertainty of Life not only should the most Necessary Things be first minded and not put off by prosecuting such Designs as may signifie somewhat to Others when we are Dead But we should not now omit that which we may hope to compass our selves to begin such Things whose Accomplishment must depend on the Pleasure of our Successors Consideration and faithful Counsel would in this case have prevented the fruitless Expence of many Mens Time and Money which if otherwise employed might have turned to good Account to Themselves and Others And this heightens our Folly that while we pursue great Projects in reference to this World and dye without effecting them our Preparations for Eternity are neglected and so we are suddenly cut off in the midst of our Folly and all our Thoughts perish How easily how soon may they do so The Difference and Distance between Death and Life being no more than that of a Candle lighted from its being blown out and if it is exposed to all Winds how quickly may that happen SECT XVIII The Consideration of the Certain near Approach of an Everlasting State amplified and prest to enforce an Holy Life IN this World we begin a Year and quickly come to the End of it and e're long the little Number of our Years and Days will be expired But when Death conveys us into the World of Spirits the Day of Eternity shall never be closed with an Evening Of how fearful Consequence is that Death by which an Eternity must be decided What Attention what Seriousness what Diligence what Care doth the Decision of so important a Matter call for ETERNAL
And is it not a greater Favour never to be thrown into Hell which I have so often deserved How grateful would a damned Person be to be freed from those Flames and plac'd in the same Condition I now am in What a Life of serious self-denying Obedience would he lead And hath not God done more for me Am I not more indebted to his Goodness He hath kept me out of Hell and offers me the Heavenly Glory upon Reasonable Honourable and easie Terms Blessed be God I may yet escape the Wrath to come Let me heartily compassionate the Delusion of those Multitudes of deceived perishing Souls whose Eyes are blinded by the God of this World who will not believe it till they are convinc'd by the Light of that Fire which shall never be extinguisht Yea when I read or hear of Ten or Twenty Thousand Men slain in a War whether of Infidels or Christians let me think of it with other Apprehensions than formerly I was wont to do Considering that many it may be the most of these shall never have any Comfort or Mercy more fearing lest the same Sword or Bullet that gave them their Mortal Wound hath fixt them under God's Everlasting Wrath and that by dying they are undone for ever In very many other Cases the Faith of this Article would rectifie my Opinion and direct my Actions if seriously considered and improved This would make me think of Death under another Notion than 't is commonly considered For without the Consideration of Hell annexed to it it is not so very formidable but that Heathens have been able to despise it The most Contrary Sects among them on different Grounds have been able to do it but consider Death as a Passage to Eternal Misery as the Gate of Hell as the End of all Comfort to a Wicked Man and the Beginning of an Endless Calamity and nothing can be imagined more dreadful to a Guilty Unholy Soul Some of my Acquaintance it may be who died this last Year are now among those Hopeless Despairing Wretches who expect the final Judgment of God to consummate their insupportable Misery If they were permitted to come and tell us what they suffer and what they know what a Terrible Consuming Fire God is what Vanity Lust and Folly brought them to this Place of Torment what Diligence they would advise us to while in a State of Hope to prevent the like if we have any Love and Kindness for our selves any Bowels of Compassion to our own Souls What a Change do we think it would work upon us But if we will not hear Moses and the Prophets Christ and his Apostles neither should we believe tho' one came from the Dead SECT XX. The Eternal Blessedness of HEAVEN considered as the Perfection of Holiness to quicken our Desires and Endeavours after greater Meetness to possess it DOth one Year after another hasten me to the End of Time And doth the Blessedness of Eternity depend on the Communications I now receive from God On the Preparations I now make and the Meetness I can now attain for Eternal Felicity in the Presence of my God and Saviour O with what Intenseness of Mind should I now prosecute that Glorious Object with what unwearied Diligence should I run the Race that is set before me lest I fall short of the Incorruptible Crown of Life How should every thing be undervalued and rejected that would divert retard or hinder me from pursuing this End Lord be not a Stranger to my Soul in this distant Wilderness state Let me see more of thy Light be transform'd more into thine Image experience more of thy Love feel more of thy vital Presence and quickning Spirit Let the Divine Life in my Soul be more powerful and the Characters of thy Likeness be more legibly stampt upon it by the daily Exercise of Faith and Hope and Holy Affections carry me through this World 'till my Pilgrim state be over and thou hast brought me to perfect Everlasting Holiness And let the believing Fore-thoughts of it fill all the Powers of my Soul with Joy and Wonder Desire and Love Give me Lord to think aright of the Heavenly Glory as a Confirmed State of positive perfect Holiness of Heavenly Light Love Liberty and Joy with the satisfying Vision of God in the Face of Christ and his impressed Likeness dwelling for ever in the direct and steady View of his Transforming Glory with compleat Conformity of the Soul to Eternal Goodness Truth and Love as its Perfection esteeming nothing desiring nothing but that God and Christ may be glorified with an entire Subjection to his Will Adherence to him Rest and Confidence in him Swallowed up in the Love Admiration and Praise of God and our Lord Jesus living in joyful repeated Acts of Subjection Adoration and Acknowledg'd Dependance ravish'd to behold the Glory of God in the Face of Christ to see his blessed Image perfect in every one of the Saints c. When all the present Blindness of our Minds the Errors of our Judgment the Perverseness of our Will the Disorder and Rebellion of our Passions the remaining Aversation from God and Disaffection to him which in this World we complain of shall all be done away The Flesh shall no more lust against the Spirit or the Law in our Members against the Law of our Minds but an Everlasting Tranquility and Holy Peace take place a Peace which passeth all Understanding without any outward Molestation or inward Cause of Disquiet Our corrupted Nature shall no more cast forth Mire and Dirt as now we shall have no more vain or wicked Thoughts no more sinful Fears or foolish Hopes unbecoming Heats unruly Desires Sensual Inclinations Earthly Affections Feeble Sloathful Spiritless Duties Dead and Heartless Prayers Cold Thanksgivings c. But as we shall then know God without Errors and see our Lord Jesus Face to Face so we shall love him without reserve more than now we can think and serve him without Dulness and Distraction and Praise him without Weariness the Spiritual Actings of our Souls shall have no Allay of Dross And thus shall we be with him and admire and injoy him without end Thus when Death is swallowed up in Victory and what was imperfect is done away and what was Corruptible and Mortal hath put on Immortality God in Christ shall be All in All And when it is truly and perfectly so Then it is Heaven The Blessedness whereof is Unconceivable A Blessed Person is not exprest in the Singular Number by the Hebrews but in the Abstract and in the Plural Beatitudes instead of Blessed because the Blessings are as many and great as they have Powers and Capacities to partake of Blessedness So will it be in Heaven A Word tho' commonly used as little understood as Holiness which is one of the greatest Mysteries in the World but will hereafter be fully and delightfully understood by the Blessed Saints as the Malignity and Intrinsick Evil of Sin shall