Pardon A wake O my Soul and utter a song of Praise to Him who forgiveth all thine Iniquities and healeth all thy Diseases who redeemeth thy Life thy Soul from Destruction and erowneth thee loving-kindness and tender mercies Hath he made thee pertaker of his own renewed Image and likeness given thee his Son his Grace his Spirit and taken such a wretched Creature into so near a Relation to Himself and promised to be thy God and Guide thy Portion and thine Inheritance thy Friend and thy Physitian thy Sun and thy shield and thine exceeding great Reward Ps 103. v. 2. and shall not my Soul speak aloud his Praise Hath he been mercifull to my unrighteousness and blotted out my sins hath he gathered me with his arm and carried me in his bosome hath he been my Saviour and Redeemer adopted me into his Family and promis'd to make me Blessed in his Glory with the H. Angels the Curse being removed and the hand writing against me cancell'd the Price paid the breach made up the mouth of Justice stopt and the condemning Sentence of the Law exchang'd for a gracious pardon thro the Sacrifice of my B. Lord Jesus and shall I not praise his incomprehensible Love and Grace I likewise thank Thee most Holy Father for saving me from Guilt and Ruine when assaulted by powerfull and dangerous Temptations that by preventing mercy or Restraining Grace Esa 43. v. 14. thou hast kept me from many Scandalous and presumptuous Crimes I thank Thee for making the Sins of Others a warning and a Caution to me an argument to humility and a motive to watchfullness for preserving my Judgment from many Errors and delusions by which others are seduced for enabling me to improve any opportunities of doing Good and making me in any thing usefull to Others yea I thank thee for all thy Mercies to other Christians for all the Gifts and Graces and usefullness of any of thy Servants wherin as a member of the same Body I desire to rejoyce for any support and comfort to me or Any of them under honourable Sufferings for thy name sake I desire unfeignedly to bless Thee for any Succor relief and victory with respect to the snares and buffetings of Satan and the vilest of his Temptations When he hath tempted me to Apostacy and Infidelity in Speculation and practise to question the Truth of the H. Scriptures and the Life to come to doubt of the foundations of the Christian Faith or to despair of the mercy of God and give up the Reins to sensual Lusts or to draw me from God by the love of the World and the praise of men by Evil Company Intemperance secret wickedness c. I bless Thee with my whole Soul for calling me back from any of my Wanderings and by infinite Goodness recovering me after great Falls enabling me to return when I had gone astray and seek thy forfeited Favor that thou mayst heal my Back slidings giving me in order to it a deep sense of my own Sin and of thy Soveraign Grace leading me to a Saviour whose Bloud cleanseth from all Sin when my guilty defiled Soul so much needed its pardoning and cleansing vertue awakening me to make holy vows and calling upon me by thy word and Spirit and Providence to perform them I Bless Thee who hast guided my feet into the way of Peace when by the terrors of an accusing Conscience and the sense of unpardon'd Sin and the apprehensions of thy deserved wrath I was ready to despair That tho thou didst most justly hide thy Face at any time it was but for a little while but didst seasonably and in mercy return to wipe off my Tears restore the Joy of thy salvation and chase away the clouds and darkness on my Spirit by the reviving presence of thy own Thou who art the Author wilt be the finisher of my Faith and therfore tho thou hast visited mine Iniquities with a Fatherly Rod yet thy Lovingindness thou hast not taken from me or suffer'd thy Faithfullness to fail or thy Covenant of Peace to be removed but hast refreshed me with hidden Manna after great Perplexities saying unto my Soul I am God even thy God making me to hear thy voce which was sweet and to taste thy Love which is better then wine enabling me to say with thine Apostle Thomas My Lord and My God. And to have any Communion with thee since in publick or private Duties For all these innumerable Mercies I desire to praise Thee which yet are but in order to greater to Everlasting Kindness in Heaven These are but the taste and earnest of what thou wilt bestow hereafter O how great his his Goodness that he hath laid up for Those that fear Him And now Lord what wait I for my Hope is even in Thee I thank thee who hast thus put it into my Heart to render thee solemn Praise and once more to renew my Covenant what thee I will magnifie the Lord and my Spirit shall rejoyee in God my Saviour Return unto thy rest O my Soul for the Lord hath dealt bountifully with me While (a) Psal 104.33 I live I will praise Thee and sing praises to my God while I have a being O come and behold the works of the Lord what he hath done for my Soul the Lord liveth (b) Psal 18.46 Blessed be my Rock and let the God of my Salvation be exalted Let my Heart be glad and my Glory rejoyce for the Lord is not asham'd to be called my God. Thanks be to God who hath caused me to triumph in Christ Jesus Sing unto the Lord O ye his Saints and give thanks at the Remembrance of his Holiness (c) Ps 30. I cryed unto thee and thou hast healed and sav'd me I will give thanks to Thee for ever (d) Psal 119.62 I will show forth thy Lovingkindness in the morning and thy Faithfullness every Night For the Lord is Good his mercy is Everlasting and his Truth endures throout all Generations O enter into his Gates with Thanksgiving and his Courts with Praise be thankfull unto him and bless his name Bless the Lord all ye his works in all places of his Dominion Bless the Lord O my Soul. Let me add for a Conclusion that the particular Deliverances Supports and Consolations which at any time God hath given in cases of great Exigence or in answer to importunate Prayer ought never to be forgotten Many experienc't Christians have been wont to write down such remarkable Appearances of God for them with the particular Circumstances that did recommend and enhanse the mercy wither Spiritual or Temporal as an encouragement to trust in God in future difficulties and have afterwards found the Comfort and Advantage of being able to have recourse to such Papers This practice I recommend as what hath been usefull and Consolatory to diverse Christians for many years afterward and to some others of their more intimate Friends to whom they might without vanity be imparted What experiences might be recorded of signal returns to Prayer and seasonable manifestations of the Truth and Goodness and wisdom of God if all the Instances therof were duely recollected and preserv'd And how sweet and pleasant would the work of Prayer and Praise then be with what rejoycing and delight should we set about it live in it if the constraining Goodness Love of God and a Thankfull sense of his unspeakable mercies did bring us to him and indite and animate every word what support and comfort and probable hopes at least of the special Love of God might we derive from the various passages of his Compassion and kindness And hereby we may be able more heartily to give him thanks for Pardon Sanctification and Adoption which we commonly mention with too much doubt and fear It may likewise be advisable to examine and record the workings of your own Spirit under such Dispensations What Thoughts you then had of God what acts of Faith Love Thankfullness you did then manifest what Evidences of God's favor and what discovery of your own Sincerity you have had at such Times when and how and by what means you were cured of your uncomfortable unbelief and raised from your despondency what Promises you had recourse to for relief what Considerations were most helpfull to you what Frame of Spirit you kept up in Prayer before and after what Resolutions and Engagements you made to God to love and trust and praise and serve him and give up all to his dispose for the future and what consequent obligation may be infer'd from thence to acquiesce in the Will of God and resign our selves entirely to Him saying This God is our God for ever and ever and He will be Our Guide unto Death THE END
to which Immortality is annext and labor to be accepted with God at whose Bar I must be judged endeavoring to keep the testimony of a good conscience and then it is not much wither I pass thro good Report or Evill Report no contempt or frowns or threatnings of men need then discourage me Tho I should be trampled on by the foot of Pride while others are happy in a dream for a little while and it may be have a prossperous passage to damnation I 'le rather thank God for delivering me from their Temptations and giving me the opportunity and call to hasten my Preparations for a Better World. Let God dispose of my Condition here and Reputation too as best shall please his Sovereign will only be pleased to keep me upright and to preserve me from Everlasting shame and confusion of Face after the general Resurrection and final Judgment vouchsafe me a portion now in thine approving love and own me for Thine at last in the Great and Terrible Day of Reckoning that then I may hear the Blessed Euge and enter into my Lords Joy XVII The same Argument considered farther as dissuasive from Worldliness and Earthly mindedness and as proper to confute the vanity of long Projects and great Designs for this World. ARe the years of my Life but few and they hastening to a Period and may this be my last Let me not then greedily covet riches and abundance and wast my little time to scrape together large Provisions for many years to come when I have no assurance to see the end of this Is it becoming such a belief to toyl from day to day that I may lay up that which I must so soon leave as if I were to spend and Eternity here on earth and in the mean while neglect the one thing Necessary Am I not upon the shore of Eternity may not the next tide carry me off and shall I spend my whole Life in Diversions from the maine Busines of it have I nothing els to doe but to gather shells if they were Pearls the absurdity were still the same and pile them upon heaps till I am snatcht away past all Recovery Shall I be regardless of an Eternal State and run the hazard of being undone for ever by sollicitous care about pretended Necessaries for a long abode on Earth Much less for superfluities when I am not certaine of the possession this one year Shall I magnifie and admire what is so soon to be parted with value my self upon thes things so as to despise those that have less and envy such as have more and suffer my mind to be distempered and my passions immoderate on every change of these things Tho I know besides my own mortality that to inforce the argument there is a principle of Corruption in all these things that our very Manna here in a little while will stink and Bread which is the staff of Life moulder our richest garments wax old and rot silver and gold rust and the greatest Beauty wither and every thing that is Earthly decay and perish And shall not this teach me to sit loose from all such Things Can I imagine that in my last hour it will be easier to part with much then little or better in the day of Judgment to have a great Estate to answer for then a lesser one We read concerning the Patriarch Abraham who rightly understood the transitory nature of riches and his own mutable Condition that the only purchase he made with his riches was a Grave choosing to take possession of the land promised him rather by a mark of his parting with it then of his Possessing it Did I think oftner and more seriously o my Soul of tarrying here but a littte while I should more easily be persuaded that a little of this world were sufficient to carry me thro it I should consider more that my Heavenborn soul is made and designed for another an endless World and therefore should not so far forget his own People and Fathers house as eagerly to pursue and seek what is suited only to the Body for a little while and whereof a little with Contentment will be sufficient The same Reflexion may be usefull to contract our Thoughts to present duty that we may not perplex our minds with long designs and projects which if we dye this year will come to nothing Our great Business in this world is adapted to the little portion of Time which is allowed us Not that good Designs for the publick Benefit may not be begun by one and finisht by others or that we are not obliged prudently to provide for those who shall come after us by attempting many Things of probable Advantage to Posterity But considering the shortness and uncertainty of Life not only should the most necessary Things be first minded and not put off by prosecuting such designs as may signifie some what to others when we are dead but we should not now omit that which we may hope to compass ourselvs to begin such things whose accomplishment must depend on the Pleasure of our successors Consideration and faithfull Counsell would in this case have prevented the fruitless expence of many mens Time and Money which if otherwise imployed might have turned to good account to themselves and others And this heightens our folly that while we pursue great projects in reference to this world and dye without effecting them our preparations for Eternity are neglected and so we are suddenly cut off in the midst of our Folly and all our Thoughts perish how easily how soon may they do so the difference and distance between Death and Life being no more then that of a Candle lighted from its being blown out and if it is exposed to all winds how quickly may that Happen XVIII The consideration of the certaine near Approach of an Everlasting State amplifi'd and prest to in force an Holy Life IN this world we begin a Year and quickly come to the end of it and ere long the little number of our years and days will be expired But when death conveys us into the World of Spirits the day of Eternity shall never be closed with an Evening Of how fearfull consequence is that Death by which an Eternity must be decided What attention what seriousness what diligence what care doth the decision of so important a matter call for ETERNAL what will be the next word o my soul how much am I concerned to know it will it be Blessedness or Misery will it be Life or Death This one word is the Joy of Angels and the Horror of Devils the unspeakable Delight of blessed Saints and the confusion and Despair of condemned Sinners At the Creation of the World Time got the start of us and was five days elder then we but our Immortal Souls shall indure beyond the utmost limits of Time and last as long as the Everlasting Father of Spirits of whose duration there is no end Shall I then
and the Prophets Christ and his Apostles neither should we believe tho one came from the Dead XX. The Eternal Blessedness of HEAVEN considered as the Perfection of Holiness to quicken our desires and endeavors after greater Meetness to possess it DOth one year after another hasten me to the end of Time and doth the Blessedness of Eternity depend on the Communications I now receive from God on the preparations I now make and the meetness I can now attaine for Eternal Felicity in the presence of my God and Saviour O with what Intenseness of mind should I now prosecute that glorious object with what unwearied diligence should I run the race that is set before me Least I fall short of the Incorruptible Crown of Life how should every thing be undervalued and rejected that would divert retard or hinder me from pursuing this end Lord be not a stranger to my soul in this distant Wilderness state Let me see more of thy light be transform'd more into thine Image experience more of thy Love feel more of thy vital Presence and quickening Spirit let the divine life in my soul be more powerfull and the characters of thy Likeness be more legibly stampt upon it by the dayly exercise of Faith and Hope and holy Affections carry me thro this World till my Pilgrim state be over and thou hast brought me to perfect Everlasting Holiness And let the believing fore-thoughts of it fill all the powers of my soul with Joy and wonder Desire and Love Give me Lord to think aright of the Heavenly Glory as a confirmed State of positive perfect holiness of heavenly Light Love Liberty and Joy with the satisfying vision of God in the face of Christ and his impressed Likeness dwelling forever in the direct and steady view of his transforming Glory with compleat conformity of the soul to Eternal Goodness Truth and Love as its perfection esteeming nothing desiring nothing but that God and Christ may be glorified with an intire subjection to his will adherence to him Rest and Confidence in him swallowed up in the love admiration and praise of God and our Lord Jesus living in joyfull repeated Acts of Subjection Adoration and acknowledg'd Dependance ravisht to behold the Glory of God in the Face of Christ see his blessed Image perfect in every one of the Saints c. When all the present Blindness of our minds the errors of our Judgment the Perversness of our Will the disorder and rebellion of our Passions the remaining Aversation from God and disaffection to him which in this world we complaine of shall all be done away The Flesh shall no more lust against the Spirit or the Law in our Members against the Law of our Minds but an Everlasting Tranquillity and holy Peace take place a Peace which passeth all understanding without any outward Molestation or inward cause of disquiet Our corrupted Nature shall no more cast forth mire and dirt as now we shall have no more vaine or wicked Thoughts no more sinfull Fears or foolish Hopes unbecoming Heats unruly Desires sensual Inclinations Earthly Affections feeble slothfull Spiritless Duties dead and heartless Prayers cold Thanks givings c. but as we shall then know God without Error and see our Lord Jesus face to face so we shall love him without reserve more then now we can think and serve him without dullness and distraction and praise him without weariness the spiritual actings of our souls shall have no allay of drosse And thus shall we be with him and admire and injoy him without end Thus when Death is swallowed up in victory and what was imperfect is done away and what was corruptible and mortal hath put on Immortality God in Christ shall be All in All And when it is truly and perfectly so Then it is Heaven A Word tho commonly used as little understood as Holiness which is one of the greatest Mysteries in the World. But will hereafter be fully and delightfully understood by the Blessed Saints as the Malignity and intrinsick Evill of Sin shall be by the Damned Spirits Oh that I might now feel more of this Heavenly Life begun and carried on in my soul by a farther participation of his holy Image and conformity to his will by more vital effects of his indwelling Spirit in my soul forming it to be a Temple to himself for his own delightfull residence that forgetting that which I have received I may still be Covetous and desirous of more forgetting what I have attain'd I may press on with an holy Eagerness and Fervency towards the mark When I seriously examine my own heart had I nothing els to prove the weakness of my Grace the sinfull remainders of unbelief but the low desires and few confortable Thoughts the seldom joyfull prospect of this Blessed State how sad an Evidence were it that I breath with no more Impatience after that Blessed holy Rest in the injoyment of God and Christ and labor no more in preparing for it when all the Desires of our Souls shall be fix't on Him and filled with him as our Infinite and supreme Good and all the Expectations of Faith and Hope swallowed up in endless admiration gratitude and Joy being fully satisfied and at Rest in the Presence and vision of God without the least Inclination or Desire of change And by consequence There will be no need of Novelty as now to give a relish to our Happiness All Happiness in this world is by comparing a man's present Condition with his past or with that of some Inferiors But the Intrinsick Good Felicity and Joy of Heaven will need no such foile to set it off no such comparison to make it prized The Blessed Spirits will never lose the lively sense of that low and miserable Condition from which they were raised to so great a Glory and so will ever equally rejoyce in the Happiness of their Translation and wonderfull change And what was at first delightfull will for ever be so and not be disdain'd or lessen'd by a continuance as it happens in this world from the Emptiness shallowness and vanity of the Creature An Affectation of variety and desire of change proceeding allways from a sense of want But Holy Souls shall never be weary of seeing loving and injoying God his blessed presence will afford us undecaying and endless satisfaction Pleasures never to be interrupted or abated and never to ceas The blessed object is absolutely Infinite and so will be allways new to a finite understanding and continual fresh Communications from his infinite fullness must needs make our subjective Happiness to be allways new Eternally So. Let me by such Thoughts quicken and excite my diligent endeavors after a greater meetness to injoy so Great a Bliss And to that end consider whither any of those happy souls who have finisht their course and obtained the Prize do now regret their utmost diligence patience and perseverance during their short abode here to secure
What inexpressible sweetness might Believers tast by rejoycing in Hope did a more lively Faith realize all this to their Souls we might listen as it were to the shouts and Acclamations of the Saints above and say Amen to their Thanksgivings We might behold them about the Throne of God and of the Lamb with Palms of victory in their hands a Crown of Glory on their heads and songs of Triumph in their mouths saying Allelujah Worthy art Thou o Lord Rev. 4. c. 11.5 c. 12.13 to receive Glory and Honour and Power for thou hast Created all Things and for thy Pleasure they are and were created And worthy is the Lamb that was slaine to receive Power and Riches and wisdom and strength and honour and glory and Blessing And againe Blessing Honour Glory and Power be unto him who sits upon the Throne and to the Lamb for ever and ever Whence is it o my Soul if indeed I believe and expect all this that I can hear and read and think and speak of these great Things with no more ardent affections suitable preparations importunate prayers and vigorous desires How should the believing Thoughts of that Day promote my Heavenly mindedness self-denial contempt of the world patience and perseverance quicken my zeal secure my stedfastness and give life and spirit to my Prayers for the hastening of it how should my soul rise towards Heaven by holy Love and desire ascend and meet him get as near him as I can breath after more of his presence and beg him to prepossess my Heart to anticipate his second Coming by clearer discoveries of his Love and fuller communications of his Grace Even so Come Lord Jesus XXIV Concerning the Examination of a mans Heart and Life the Reasonableness Advantages and Necessity of it Some direction and advice concerning the Time and manner That we may know in what Preparedness we are for ETERNITY I Am hastening every year every day to the period of this Life I must shortly appear before my Glorious Judge and experience these Terrors or Comforts this Blessedness or Misery which I have now read of Shall I not therefore inquire which of the two belongs to me Is it not worth considering wither I must goe and how I shall fare when I quit this Body what is like to be my next Habitation to which of the two unchangeable States I shall be adjudg'd Shall an Inquiry of so much consequence be put off to an indefinite Hereafter do I not desire to know the worst while a remedy may be found or am I content to dye thro an unwillingness to discover that I am Sick The question to be resolved is of infinite weight Shall I not spend a few hours to know what will become of me for ever An error is more then possible 't is easy to mistake and the hazard of doing so is unspeakably great How many thousands perish eternally even under the light of the Gospel who never suspected their danger how ordinary how common a thing is it for men to be thus deceived how successfull is the Devill in this Stratagem against the Souls of men Is it not then a most criminal stupidity to be contentedly Ignorant and unresolved Wither I am reconciled to God or no Wither I am led by the Flesh or the Spirit wither I am in the broad or narrow way which lead to such contrary Ends that is wither if I dye in this condition I shall be saved or perish Can such an Inquiry be frivolous or indifferent Is the subject of it so contemptible and my concern in it so small that it merits not to be attentively considered Shall I never ask my soul till I am leaving this world the unfittest Time of all to begin so important an affaire what am I to whom do I belong whose Image do I bear how have I liv'd what do I doe what do I love most what do I most constantly desire and choose and seek how doth the Pulse of my soul beat is it quickest towards God or towards the world wither am I goeing what will be final upshot and issue of my present course Is it Heaven or Hell I must be translated to by Dyeing what Security have I got for Eternal Life what provisions have I made what foundation have I laid How strangely infatuated are most men who talk of an Everlasting Life as an Article of their Creed and say they count upon it that they must dwell in Happiness or Misery for ever and that seldom or never bethink themselvs in good earnest and for any Time with a setled composed exercize of Thoughts Which of these Two is like to be their Lot. Or If they begin to search and try themselvs they come to no Conclusion or conclude too hastily they pluk off the plaister assoon as it begins to smart they are either frighted with the horrid prospect of past Crimes or haveing escap't the grosser Pollutions of the world judge too favourably of their own case They commonly do the work but by halves and so goe from the glass and forget what manner of persons they were Let me therfore o my Soul Sequester my self from the world to commune with my own heart to reflect upon my past Life and look in to my present strate to recollect and review the most considerable passages of my course and Time hitherto O how neglected and disused a Practise is this which doth challenge and require our principal and most Serious concern about it and how many begin it and are discouraged and leave off without reaching the End of such an Enquiry How much wiser in this respect are the Children of this world in their Generation then the Children of Light who is so Exact in his accounts between God and his own Soul as Trades-men in their dealings with one another who is at the pains to write down his Sins and his Mercies the grounds of his Fear and the encouragements of his Hope or keeps a Journal and Diary of his Spiritual State who doth at set times once a moneth or once a Quarter or even once a year take a just view of him self his Heart and Life and State as a Christian that he may see what he hath received and done what he owes and what he may expect that he may know wither he thrive or decay wither be increase or decrease wither he goe backward or forward wither he be Richer or Poorer this year then the last And is it not a symptom that you are declining when you love not to examine your Accounts Is there not ground of Jealousie and Suspicion that you are behind hand because you are loath to inquire whither you are or no and unwilling to know the worst of your Condition Nevertheless without Such Enquiries and bringing the matter to a determination at what uncertainties must we live and how unconceivable an haszard do all Hypocrites and unrenewed Sinners run and how reasonable how necessary is it that
slip have I not made it more my business to seem Religious then really to be so how much of the Patience of God have I abus'd refusing his calls to Repentance resisting the strivings of his Spirit smothering my Convictions and turning the grace of God into wantonness In stead of returning gratitude for all his Love I have repeated my Transgressions after Forgiveness and gone in a circle of Repenting and Sinning even to this day Lord I am Asham'd and lay my self in the dust before thee To me belongs nothing but shame and confusion of Face If God should condemn and punish me as a Rebell and a Traitor and give me the Portion of Hypocrites I cannot but own his Justice even in Hell I must do it with my flaming Tongue and Breath O Spare me for thy mercies sake Enter not into Judgment with thy servant for in thy sight shall no flesh living be justifi'd if Thou lay Judgment to the line and equity to the Plummet Give me Repentance unto life never to be repented of never to be retracted againe Bring me to the Bloud of Jesus which cleanseth from all sin Behold the sighings of a contrite Spirit For I acknowleg my Transgressions unto thee against whom I have sinned o Lord forgive the Iniquity of my Sin. I am unworthy to lift up my hands and Eyes towards Heaven unworthy to be called thy son or thy servant I am vile in mine own eyes because I have made my self vile in thine For this I am troubled and mourn and my Soul is grieved within me O thou Heavenly Physitian of Souls from thy Pitty alone I expect my cure I am miserable and undone without thy Compassion and expect no relief but from the Treasure of thy Grace I must perish and sink under the burden of Sin if thy mercifull hand doe not save me and lift me up I am intangled and insnar'd by the Devill and my Lusts and without thy Succor can never hope to get free O Lord for give my Sin and heal my Soul deliver and save me for thy mercies sake May I not yet hope in thy mercy thou hast mercyfully born with me hitherto thou callest me to repent thou commandest me to return and promisest to forgive those Sins which are confessed and forsaken O do not cast me out of thy Sight and Presence now I desire from the bottom of my Heart to return to thee I abhorr my self in dust and ashes for my past Iniquities But alas such is the hardness of my Impenitent Heart that I am even asham'd of my humblest Repentance how much more may God despise and reject it But hast thou not given thy H. Son to dye for Sinners and exalted him to this very end to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance and Remission of Sins And by the word of thy Grace thou beseechest all even the Greatest Sinners to accept of mercy and art more willing to pardon then we can be to Repent T is thy Delight and Glory agreable to thy nature and declared Name as a God gracious and mercifull slow to Anger and of great Kindness fergiving Iniquity Transgression and Sin. O Pardon mine Iniquity for it is great and receive an humble Penitent who implores thy Grace according to the Tenor of thy new Covenant flying to the arms of thy Mercy thro the merits of Jesus Christ who is able to save to the uttermost all that come unto God by him Lord hear my Prayer and let not the mixture of my weaknesses and unworthiness turn it into Sin but graciously vouchsafe to look upon a returning Prodigal and cause me to hear the voice of Joy and Gladness that my sorrowfull Heart may be comforted and my life be directed to thy Praise Lead me into the path of life that I may no longer erre from the way of thy Commandments Teach me to do thy Will o God and write thy Law upon my heart that I may never more return to Folly. I am convinc't of the Evill of Sin of thy Right to govern me of the equity and Justice of thy Law of the sweetness and rewards of keeping thy precepts O sanctifie my Heart and make me Sound in thy Statutes that I may hate every false way and be devoted to thy Fear the remainder of my Life If there be any particular Lust or Wickedness which thro the power of Temptation and the deceitfullness of Sin you have fallen into that hath wasted Conscience and robb'd you of your Peace and provok't God to write bitter things against you be sure to humble your self without delay in an especial manner for that Backsliding Confess it freely with its aggravations Consider wither it was not after some special manifestation of God's Love after some special warning some strong Conviction under or soon after some great Affliction from God or some more then ordinary kindness of his Providence c. and impress such Thoughts to humble your self the lower search into the grounds and causes of such Apostacy such as the abatement of your watchfullness the neglect of serious closet devotion making bold with Temptation too great compliance with vaine Company venturing too far in lawfull or indifferent Things too much Confidence in your own Wisdom Strength and stedfastness not fearing sufficiently the Approaches and Beginnings of Sin or avoiding the fuell incentives and occasions of it c. Palliate and disguise nothing that may make your sin exceeding sinfull least by some little Art of the Devil you deceive your self by an half-Repentance and the Evil Spirit you think to be cast out return againe with seven worse then himself and so your latter end be worse then your Beginning For if the sin be not truly hated but only cover'd over with penitential Ashes it will quickly flame out againe when it meets with combustible matter and a strong blast of Temptation But if you are griev'd to the very Heart and abhorr the Sin and resolve to quitt it you need not doubt of God's readiness to receive you to Mercy His Spirit is yet striving with you if you are willing to Repent and return to God. He sought you and call'd you to return when you were wandring as a lost sheep in the broad way and can you think he will not be found of you if you seek him with your whole Heart Therfore renew your Repentance and beg more earnestly a Spirit of Humility Holy Fear and Watchfullness and every morning implore divine succors against that Sin and all Temptations to it Which as much as possible you must avoid Constant and fervent Prayer after Repentance must be your refuge and your Remedy If you let fall your hands this Amaleck will prevail againe assoon and as far as you fail in the constancy and fervency of that Duty your Sin will get strengh and successfully attempt you another Time. But by this practise God may turn Evil to work for Good make you gaine by your loss stand the faster by your
strength from above My senses are so deceitfull my Passions so ungovernable the Rule and Law I am to walk by so strict and spiritual and extensive Criminal Omissions may be so frequent and easily overlook't so many several and difficult Duties are to be performed and by every change of my Condition or of God's Providence so many new dangers and new duties may arise that I fear the issue of my firmest Resolutions So strict a watch must allways be kept such humility and Caution is every where to be practis'd such speedy Repentance required after every fall with thankfullness and contentment in every State under all Calamities be they never so many or never so pinching and perseverance herein absoluty necessary tho never so many stratagems be used to discourage me from proceding or to intice me to goe back or turn aside to some other Path that if God had not promised me his Continued presence and that his Grace shall be sufficient for me and that I shall not be Tempted above what I am able to bear I should utterly despaire of making good what I now resolve But besides these promises to encourage my resolved obedience he hath left upon record in his word many glorious Examples of his assisting and rewarding the courage and resolution of his servants to continue faithfull as in the case of Joseph Daniel and his Three Friends c. If Christ stand by and strengthen me I know I shall be able to do all things I shall not then be flattered or frighted out of the way of my duty no wind that can blow shall then turn me to another point nothing shall then be able to prevail for my consent to a willfull and deliberate forsaking of God no Argument no Temptation tho Privacy Opportunity Impunity from men with rewards of wordly Gaine and Honour should all concurr to enforce a Temptation But by that heavenly mind I shall be preserv'd Humble Temperate Chast patient Thankfull self-denying crucifyed to the World and hold fast my Integrity till I dye still perfecting Holiness in the fear of God growing in Grace and in the Knowledg of my Lord and Saviour J. Christ waxing stronger from day to day be seldomer surprized offend less and repent more quickly and watch more narrowly afterwards till at last I receive the Crown Fix therfore I beseech thee most Gracious God! my unfeigned Resolutions of cleaving to thee with full purpose of Heart and show thy strength in my weakness by inabling me to doe what I now resolve To that end teach me to watch over my Heart to keep it with all diligence to be more conversant with my own Thoughts examining the motions that arise in my Heart whence they come and whither they goe and what they tend to that I may suppress the beginnings of Sin. Let me live no longer as a stranger to my self but by self-reflexion dwell more at home reckoning my principal Work to be within doors to keep my own vineyard Teach me to watch over my senses to guard the door of my Lips to govern my Passions to be wary of my Company to be circumspect in every step of my dayly walk to call my self frequently to a reckoning to cast up my accounts at the foot of every page by every days review of my Actions to live allways as in God's presence and be awed every where by the thought of his Holy Eye to shun the occasions and appearanees of Evil c. And because no place no Condition no Imployment is exempted from Temptations let me fortifie my self every morning against all Assaults for that day by Serious Prayer as Holy David was wont to do My voice saith he shalt thou hear in the morning O Lord in the morning will I direct my Prayer unto thee and will look up Psalm 5. v. 3.4 Let the law of God be my dayly and delightfull study that I may be able presently to bring my words and Actions to the Touchstone and know how to manage the sword of the Spirit on all occasions against the fiery Darts of the Devil that knowing the rule I may not be doubtfull or at a losse when ever I am Tempted I may not make a stand to parley but immediately summon all my forces to resist and reject the snare being assur'd from God that the Continuance of this warfare shall end in a most Glorious Victory He will shortly tread down Satan under our feet Thanks be to God thro Jesus Christ my Lord. XXVIII The Import and Obligation of our Baptismal Covenant The renewal of it by a solemn Dedication of our selves to God the Father Son and H. Spirit exemplifi'd and recommended ALl this O my soul which I have now resolu'd on is no more then what I am obliged to by my vow in Baptism to renounce the Devil and his works the Flesh and the Lusts therof the World and conformity to it that I may Love and Serve the Lord agreable to the undoubted Right which God hath in me by Creation Redemption and his innumerable other Benefits But The outward washing of Baptism and a visible profession of obedience will not save me without the Answer of a good Conscience towards God. 1 Pet. cap. 3. v. 21. May I not by the consideration of my Baptismal Covenant suppose God speaking to my Conscience to this effect Will you take me for your whole Portion and Felicity and my Law for the constant Rule of your obedience and fight against the world the flesh and the Devil to your lives end will you believe in Jesus Christ and receive him as a Prince and Saviour and adhere to the faith and obedience of the Gospel how hazardous and difficult soever the profession and practice of it may be Will you receive the B. Spirit as your Teacher Sanctifier and Comforter and cherish all his Motions to inlighten purifie confirm comfort and assist you 'T is my hearty consent to these Terms and resolved compliance with them which Baptism obligeth to and this is the Answer of a good Conscience towards God. I have often renewed this Covenant on several occasions but did I ever duely consider the tenor and obligation of it How have I lyed unto the God of Truth dealt deceitfully whath Him and been False and Fickle treacherous and unfaithfull to what I promised O let me now againe repeat it and give up my self once more to be the Lords more unfeignedly more firmly then ever I have hitherto done that the bonds of God upon me may be strengthned and my soul more throughly ingag'd to be the Lords O help me to do it with the greatest seriousness as the most important Affaire of my whole Life by thine aid and grace alone shall I be sincere and cordial in this surrender and Dedication of my self O breath upon my soul most H. Spirit the Power of the Highest that there may be no Hypocrisy or Reservation in this so weighty and solemn Transaction between God and
day of the new year God enters into Judgment for the sins of the year and Life past That every ones Faults are weighed against his good works He that is found Rightous is sealed unto Life and he that is found wicked is sealed unto Death And 't is a general custom that hath obtained among the Jews for the ten first days of the new-year to rise out of their Beds in the night and to continue in their Synagogues praying and worshipping untill break of day The superstitious and ridiculous Ceremonies of the * Vid. Ceremonies Cout parmi les Inifs d'aujourdhuy part 3. c. 5. modern Jews on this Day I shall not repeat However vaine and groundless superstitious and absurd many of their Customs and Practises are on this day yet this blind Devotion of the Iews may justly shame and condemn the Christians of our Age who commonly spend the Beginnings of every year worse then any other parts of them and instead of any solemn Retirements for Prayer and Meditation which might assist them to number their Days and prepare for Eternity instead I say of such seasonable Exercizes how do vaine and hurtfull Sports and Pastimes or trifling and unedifying mirth and fruitless conversations consume the greatest part of the Days and nights too of the Beginning of the year And thus when the first fruits of the year are offered up to sin and vanity 't is no wonder if the following parts of it are imployed to no better purpose without any due concern for the Soul and an Everlasting State. To Endeavor some Remedy to those disorders and give some assistance to them who desire seriously to make Religion their Principal Business is the end of publishing thes Reflexions I most heartily beseech the God of a-Grace to influence by his H. Spil rit the Conscience of every Reader that some such effect may be attained Haveing found the Practise recommended to be of use to my self and my own Heart warmed in composing the substance of thes Papers tho without any Intention at that Time of exposing them to the world 't is not unreasonable to hope that what hath been beneficial to one may be helpfull to another It cannot certainly be unadvisable or improper to Begin the year with God with whom we should begin every Day 'T is decorous and becoming to Dedicate our selves to Him in a more solemn manner then ordinary at such a Time Thankfully to acknowledg the Favors and Blessings we have particularly received the Year Past and to recollect the Sins we have been guilty of to aggravate them with Humility Contrition and deep Remorse to renew our Covenant with God to repeat and fortifie our Resolutions of living better imploring his Grace to assist us in it to reflect seriously on the mutability frailty brevity of our present Life to consider the swiftness uncertainty irrecoverableness and consequent value of our Time to look forward to a Blessed or miserable Eternity one of which we must share in and to confirm our Faith in the Certainty therof and consider our near aproach to such an unchangeable State to think what improvement we should make of the Death of others especially of Relations and Friends who have lately been called home To make the Supposition in good earnest that we may follow them this year and dye before another new years day to imprint such a Thought on our Hearts and the inferences that may naturally be deduced from it to beg of God to inable us to Redeem our Time and discharge the Duty of our particular places and prepare us for all the Events of the following year and so effectually Teach us to number our days that we may apply our Hearts unto true Wisdom least we be surprized by an unexpected Death before the period of another year And lastly to pray for our Relations and Friends Families and Neighbors and our Enemies too and plead with God on the behalf of Sion and the afflicted State of the Reformed Churches To some of thes and the like Purposes I hope what is here offered may be subservient if considered with seriousness and application after humble Invocation of the Blessing of God and the aids of his Spirit composeing our minds and thoughts as in his most awefull and holy Presence I have only this farther to request that if any one soul shall find any real Benefit in this kind he would so far requite my charitable assistance of him that when his heart is most serious his Spirit most composed and devout and his affections most vigorous and lively he would not forget to put up one Prayer to Heaven for me for Greater Holiness and Abilities to Honour God and persevering Faithfullness to his Truth and Interest what ever Temptations to desert it may be imploied by the World the Flesh and the Devil the three Great Enimies of thine and my Salvation DEVOUT REFLEXIONS On TIME And ETERNITY This World and the Next I. Of the changeable State and short Duration of Earthly Things especially of Man how little it is considered and believed how necessary it should be so WHen I consider that yesterday was the Conclusion of the last year and that I now am entred on another 't is seasonable to reflect on the mutable condition and short Duration of all Things in this world which are measured by Time. That as they have their Beginning so they have their End and that the distance or space of Time between the one the other is very little Let me not then o my soul Rejoyce please my self to much in New Injoyments remembring a Change may be at hand the End is certaine Many who were Rich and Flourishing the last year may be reduc'd to Poverty and deep distress before the end of this who are now in a capacity to relieve others within a few moneths or a shorter space may be objects of other mens Charity The thing which hath been is that which may be and that which hath been seen in one year may happen in another so easily so quickly may a Change be made Riches may unexpectedly change their Owners and borrow wings of a thousand Accidents wher with to flye to Heaven for a new Disposal 1 Cor. 7. v. 29. They therefore who possess should be as if they possessed not for the Fashion of this world passeth away Innumerable casualties may effect that change which no humane Art or skill can possibly foresee or hinder afflictive unexpected Evills attend us every where we cannot promise our selves Tranquillity for a Day much less an Year to come they lay in wait for us on every side enter at every crevice and commonly overtake us when we are least apprehensive of their approach Job 9.25 Man that is born of a woman is of few days and full of Trouble He cometh up as a flower and is cut down fleeth as a shadow and continueth not What then are Riches Beauty Strengh and Honor the accidents
and yet how few do take the warning carefully to prevent the like unhappiness O Lord preserve those strong Convictions those serious thoughts those holy Resolutions those lively apprehensions of the Life to come of the Evill of sin and the Terrors of thy wrath which the Sight of dying persons hath at any time awakened in my soul O the Eloquence of a dying sinner to persuade to Repentance even when he hath lost his speech and lays gasping and trembling on a bed of sickness breathing out his last faint breath and passing into the other world to answer for the crimes and follies of a wicked Life Lord revive thes thoughts upon my soul and let me feel the power and influence of them in the hour of Temptation and in every time of need And let the consideration of the death of Believers the Blessedness they are thereby entred into and the Holiness they are to posses'd of quicken my desires and diligence to prepare to follow When I think where they are and what they are doing what is their work and what their state what their continual imployment and what their Injoyments and how different from ours I cannot but wish to be with them to be as they are and do as they do to know and love and praise God as they They are not hindred by such a clog as this body is to us or tempted by their senses appetite and fancy to sin against him they complaine not of a seducing flesh unruly passions low and disordered thoughts of Temporal afflictions spiritual desertions the snares of the world and the malice and subtility of the Devil we who are Pilgrims and Travellers are exposed to these difficulties and storms which they are freed from They are now rejoycing in the light of God's countenance and shall never question his love more while we are in Tears and sorrows groaning to be delivered But think o my soul that they were lately such as we are now They were members of the militant Church before they entred into joy and Triumph They had their conflicts and difficulties their hour of Temptation and time of trial as we have ours They were slandered and persecuted and sadned and disapointed as their Followers are They went to Heaven the same way and got the victory after the same manner by Repentance and Faith and humble persevering Obedience They were once imperfect as we are now and complained of the Body of Sin and Death and struglings of unmortified lust as we doe and were sometimes in the dark about their intrest in the promise and walkt heavily by the hiding of God's face and indured Temptation even as we And as we have nothing to doe or suffer but what they met with we have the same encouragement that administred to their support the same God and Saviour the same way and rule the same assistance by the aids of his H. Spirit offred us the same promises and the same rewards proposed which they injoyed first in faith and hope and afterwards in fruition Yea they pass'd thro the dark valley and so must we their Earthly Tabernacle was dissolved and so must ours be We must expect to goe the same way to Rest and Glory and wait God's Time for our admission We must finish first the work which God hath for us to doe and suffer and then all Tears shall be wipt from our eyes we shall grieve no more we shall sin no more but be as the Angels in Heaven or as the Spirits of the Just made Perfect XIII What Influence the consideration of Eternity would have upon our Hearts and Lives if soundly believed and considered Especially if the supposition of Dying this year be annexed to it WIth what Humility mortification and self denial what seriousness watchfulness and resolved constancy would every Christian live on Earth did he act allways under the influence and power of a confirmed Faith concerning the Life to come We should not then grudge at a little labor or boggle at a few difficulties in our way What tho I meet with injuries and affronts hardships and inconveniencies being now in a forreign country and every day I live one days journey nearer my Eternal Home Shall I not patiently bear momentany sorrows while I believe I am hastening to Eternal Joys Did I look more to the Everlasting World should I not make the pleasing of God in order to my Eternal welfare the great Business of my Life Should I not serve the Lord with more fervency of Spirit and be better fortified against the Fears of man who can but hurt and kill the Body nor that neither without the permission of God Should I not order all my affaires answer all Temptations mortifie in ward Lusts live in the Exercize of Grace and in circumspect persevering Obedience in order to it Should I not watch more over my Heart and Lips and Ways be more diligent to trim my Lamps more dead to this world more carefull to call my self frequently to an account to renew my Repentance Would not my converse be more usefull and edifying my discourses more savory and full of Religion my Prayers to God more humble and earnest my charity to men more unfeigned and extensive and my preparations every way more suitable to such a Faith and to such apprehensions of an Everlasting State Could we carry the thoughts of Eternity about with us every day and often admit them in our civil and secular affaires did we repeat it frequently to our selvs at least every morning as soon as we are awake that we are near Eternity this graine of Incense would perfume the whole Temple and be an Antidote against inward Lust and impure thoughts against the Infection and defilement of bad Company and the snares of worldly Business and do much to prevent vaine and sensual actions and to cure vaine affections Did we believe it and believe it near should we not take as much pains to secure Eternal life as we see men doe to get Riches Should we not use the same diligence care and circumspection the same prudent foresight watchfulness and perseverance to prevent Everlasting destruction as others doe to provide against Poverty and to live in Plenty a little while on Earth Should we not rejoyce as much in the promise and hopes of it as others do in the prospect and expectation of some Earthly Advantage Lord I confess and bewail the weakness of my faith How often have I concluded and said that Heaven alone is the place of Happiness and yet my carnal Heart is too much affected with Earthly ThÃngs How often have I resolved upon the conviction of the certainty of the Eternal world to mind this less and to affect and seek it no more as I have done and yet my foolish Heart is hankering after it still O crucifie my affections to things below and let the believing Thoughts of the next Life render me victorious over all the Temptations of this Pardon and
exist and live tho my Body perish and see corruption Shall my soul my self exist beyond the Grave in Felicity or Misery and that for ever and according to my present Actions what am I then most concerned to mind what am I to choose What am I most to fear to wish to do What is a shadow of honor and reputation among dying men What are a few drops of fleshly Pleasure for a moment to eternal Rivers of Pleasure at God's right hand What are the sufferings of an hour or two to the pains and anguish of Eternity What can the World Flesh or Devil give me comparable to Eternal Life What can I suffer in the way of Holiness that may be set in the balance against an Everlasting Hell And yet how often o my soul how boldly how unconcernedly how foolishly do I hazard the one and forfeit the other for the sins and vanities of this world Whereas one prospect of Eternity should make every thing that is Temporal appear little in my eyes the highest elevation of earthly Greatness abundance of Riches the great Affaires Business and Imployments of the World Pomp and Splendor and Reputation and all that now flatters the senses and the vanity of Mankind Oh that I could but live as believing and expecting an Eternal State as having it in my Eye managing all my affaires with a visible reference to it discovering to all the world by my Behaviour and Deportment that I doe in earnest believe it certaine for be it never so Certaine if I do not apprehend and consider it as such it will no more affect me then a Fable Neither is it enough to consider it as certaine but as Near for the most weighty the most terrible things apprehended as at a great distance will little move Thinking of the long Interval between the advantage of being exempted from such evills for so long a time will please me more then such distant Calamities will affright Let me therefore indeavor to impress the consideration of Eternity at hand more deeply on my heart that I may walk and live discours and pray and demean my self in every thing as near an unchangeable State. Am I not convinc't that this is Certaine from the nature and operations of my soul from the reflexions of Conscience from the Righteousness of God in his Government of the world from the present unequal Distributions of Good and Evill by his Providence and from the plaine and frequent assertions of his Revealed Will I have nothing to object nothing to reply but I find a necessity of inculcating and urging the consideration of it in order to its influence I find it needfull to reflect often how near I am to such an Endless State that in one Instant by Death I enter upon it and that this instant may be as near me as my next Thought That the H. Scripture describes the two contrary Conditions after death and every man and woman in the world shall share in one of them as both Everlasting the one by Eternal Life Eternal Glory an incorruptible Crown that fadeth not away an incorruptible Inheritance an House Eternal in the Heavens c. the other by unquenchable Fire a Prison whence no escape Eternal Damnation Everlasting Burning everlasting Punishment everlasting Destruction a worm that never dies wrath that is ever to come blackness of darkness for ever c. Think o my Soul that in one of these two contrary States I must abide for ever In endless Joy or sorrow Blessed in the presence of God or forever banisht from it And who ever thou art that readest this apply it seriously to thy self 't is thine own case Yea I tell the from God that Holiness of Heart and Life is absolutely necessary to the former and that without it thou shalt never see his face but be punisht with Everlasting Destruction from the presence of his Glory Is this an unquestionable Truth O let me consider it till I feel the power and efficacy of so important a Principle let the impression be deep and lasting let it peirce and enter into my very soul to cool the heats of lust to quench sensual and earthly desires and to mortifie all in ordinate affections to this world and fix my resolutions to mind and seek Eternal Life with all my Heart These are not difficult and perplexed Niceties which wise and holy men differ and disagree about They are not metaphisical Subtleties which few can understand but the express word of God and the dayly dictates of my own Reason and Conscience which all Christians and all most all men in their wits except in an hour of great Temptation confess and own or whither they will or no are forc't to expect and Fear if they are not in a condition to consider them with a joyfull Hope Lord cure the unbelieving doubts concerning these Great things which notwithstanding the plainest Evidence the Devil may at any time suggest let a confirmed Faith be the Reality of what is thus future that my soul may be influenc't by them as it is wont to be by things present Let it be the Substance of things hoped for and the Evidence of things unseen and as yet at a distance as if the Day of Judgment were allready come and there were no intermediate Time to passe between this and that O Eternity Eternity the more I consider it the more unfathomable still I find it Unchangeable Blessedness or remediless Endless Torments An Eternall blissfull Day or Everlasting Horror Darkness and Despair Life or Death Glory or Destruction to last as long as the Immutable Living God! None of the Patriarchs who lived longest arrived to the period of a Thousand years which in comparaison of God's Everlastingness is set forth but as one day But strictly considered millions of years and ages have no proportion with it because no multiplication of them will amount to Eternity Whereas one hour hath some proportion to an hundred thousand years because a certaine number of hours will amount to so many years But no number of years or Ages never so often multiplied will make up Eternity as no substraction of Millions of years will lessen it an in tire Eternity will be still to come and will ever be to come When innumerable myriads of years are past Eternity shall then seem but to begin because when as many more are over it shall be as far from an end Oh that the Thoughts of Eternity may be powerfull and prevailing above all others that I may Judge of every thing by its relation to it by its influence upon it Chuse now o my soul whither Everlasting Joys or Miseries shall be my Portion but consider well that thine Eternity is concerned in thy present choice and that this choice must be pursued with stedfastness and Constancy as long as I live and what are a few years to prepare for an Eternal State were we obliged to spend several hundred years in serious
me O most Blessed and Glorious TRINITY Father Son and H. Spirit Thy favor is my Life and thy Loving kindness is better then Life Thy Will should have been my Rule thy word my Law thy Glory my end to please thee my principal Business and to injoy thy Love and Presence my ultimate Felicity But I am one of thy revolted Creatures who have lost thine Image and rebell'd against thy Law slighted thy Authority and rejected thy Grace and deserve to be cast out of thy sight and banisht from thy Presence for ever Nevertheless O most mercifull God and Father upon thy gracious invitation and call I now return to thee my rightfull Lord acknowledging thee as my Allmighty Wise and Bountifull Creator my absolute Owner my Righteous Governour my End my Happiness and Chief Good. I now accept thine offer'd Mercy I now submit to the Scepter of thy Grace and give up my self to Thee as my King and my God to rule and sanctifie me now and be my Everlasting Portion I desire to be no longer my own but Thine to whom of right I belong and ought to be devoted I yeild my self to Thee O my Lord Accept and possess that which is thine own I lay my self at thy Foot at all Times and in all Conditions to be at thy dispose and in every thing to acquiesce in thy Good Pleasure Deliberately resolving with unfeigned and free consent of my Will to walk before Thee in Holiness and Righteousness all the days of my Life Hereby I consecrate and devote my self to be thy perpetual avowed Servant Lord I am thy servant I am thy servant the Son of thine Hand maid Tho other Lords have had dominion over me I will now make mention of thy Name and of thy Righteousness only by Jesus Christ O Blessed Jesus my All sufficient Saviour Thy dying Love infinite Condescention and matchless Grace hath at last overcome me and constrain'd me to resolve to be wholly Thine who hast redeem'd and bought me with thy most precious Bloud I now acknowledge and own Thee as my Lord and my Jesus my Prophet Priest and King my Sacrifice Surety and Ransom to satisfie for my sins and reconcile me unto God to instruct me in his will and teach me the Mysteries of his Kingdom and the way to the Father How often hast thou open'd thine arms and called me yea beseecht me to come unto thee and accept of Life but I refused to come I adore thy mercifull Condescention that yet thou wilt receive me on such easy Terms O thou Lord of life and glory now accept of an unworthy helpless Sinner who flies to Thee as his only Refuge and Hope who is convinc't that None but Christ None but Christ can make his Peace with God and save from wrath come I acknowledge thy Title to me and my obedience and to all I have by dying for me I desire to take thy yoke upon me for it is Easy and thy Burden which is Light. I desire to be intirely and for ever thine in an Everlasting Covenant never to be broken to take up the Crosse and follow thee whither so ever thou shalt lead me thro the straight Gate and the narrow way I will reserve no Lust refuse no Labor grudge at no suffering stick at no difficulty so I may please and honour thee and continue in thy Love. Os hed abroad more of thy Love in my Heart to make all Things easy for his sake who hath loved me and washed me from my Sins in his own Bloud O God the Holy Ghost I acknowledg Thee as my Great Teacher and Sanctifier and give up my self to Thee as the Author of all saving Knowledg and Holiness By Thee I have been convinc't of my Sin against the Law of God and the Gospel of Christ and of my necessity of his merit satisfaction and Righteousness to Justifie my guilty Soul by procuring the Forgiveness of Sin and my acceptance with God and of the freeness of his Love the Riches and all sufficiency of his Grace towards all who come unto God by Him. I adore Thee O most Blessed Spirit as proceeding and sent from the Father and the Son to renew all the Powers of my Soul and restore the divine Image there to enlighten my mind to know and receive the Truth as it is in Jesus and purifie my Heart and to sanctifie all the Members of my Body and make them Instruments of Righteousness unto Holiness which before were servants unto Sin and gradually to deliver me from the power the defilement and abode of Sin as from the Guilt and Punishment by the bloud of Jesus And as the Witness of God to the Truth of the H. Scriptures and as the Great Paraclete to comfort and establish the Hearts of Belivers sealing them up to the day of Redemption and giving them the Earnest of the Heavenly Inheritance O Blessed Spirit be thou my witness that tho I have violated the Law of God and defac't his Image and formerly undervalu'd the Love of Christ and the Grace of the Gospell yet by thine aid I now accept what I have so long neglected and thankfully devote my self hence forward to be the Lords in a Covenant Relation But fearing and distrusting my self I give up my self entirely to the conduct of thy Grace depending upon it for my establishment and perseverance O form my Heart into an obediential Frame that in every thing I may endeavor to answer the Ends and Obligations of this Devoted State. To this One God I have once againe dedicated and resign'd my self to serve and please and honour Thee in Thought Word and Act to the last moment of my Life in the Performance of all Duties even those whic I have been most averse from in the mortification of every Lust and the forsaking of every Sin even those which I was once most addicted to Resolving deliberately to allow my self in nothing great or little secret or open which I shall know or believe to be contrary to thy holy will making it my business to be fruitfull in good works to the praise of my Redeemer waiting in the use of all his apointed means for higher measures of Grace and Holiness to be more victorious over inward Lusts and outward temptations still pressing towards the mark for the prize of my high and holy Calling even eternal Life I call Heaven and Earth O Lord to witness this day that I own and avow this to be my Mind and the setled Prevailing Purpose of my Soul. This I againe ratifie and confirm with out any Clauses or Exceptions So help me O my God. Glory be to God the Father God the Son and God the H. Spirit XXIX Prastical and Consolatory Reflexions on the preceding Self-dedication or Covenant with God. I Have this day solemnly avouched the Lord to be my God Deut. 6. c. 17.18 to walk in his ways therby to fortifie my Resolutions that I and my House and All that I can
persuade to be of my mind will serve the Lord. I intend desire and hope never willfully to violate the Faith I have now plighted in the presence of God but to continue stedfast unmoveable all was abounding in the work of the Lord c. Should I undertake any new Imployment or enter into any new Condition or change the place of my Abode where I might see more of God's dishonour and meet with more and stronger Temptations to Sin and be called to the performance of more difficult duties greater Watchfullness and self denial c. I would hope hereby to ingage the presence of God with me and his Blessing on all my Affaires on which depends the success of all that I undertake and would hope the better to preserve my Integrity not only This Year but in all the remaining portion of my Time by the abiding sense of my Covenant with God thus seriously renewed This is the method I have been often advis'd to for Peace of Conscience under doubts and scruples concerning my spiritual State to put the matter out of doubt by againe accepting the offered mercy and Grace of the Gospell and heartily consenting to the new Covenant giving up my self to God in Christ to be ruled and saved by him Blessed be God I have now done so Lord say Amen to thy part of the Covenant that Thou art and wilt be my God as I desire unfeignedly to do to mine that I will be thy Servant But because Articles are sooner consented to then made Good tho I seriously intend never to disown this my solemn Act and Deed but firmly to adhere to it as long as I live that having sworn I will endeavor to perform it that this shall be my Everlasting Choice never to be recanted or alter'd yet considering the sad Instances of my former weakness and the vigilance and subtle malice of my Great Adversary I againe implore the succor of divine Grace to keep it for ever in the purpose of my Heart that it may be as the Laws of the Medes and Persians never to be reverst I have given up my name to be Thine O put thy Fear into my Heart that I may never depart from Thee Imprint thy Laws upon my Heart that my obedience may be uniform and universal unwavering and perpetual suitable 〈◊〉 so honourable and near a Relation to Thee I am sensible I want Wisdom and Strength to that purpose but thou hast bid me ask it of Thee who givest liberally to All without desert and upbraâ—â—est not with present unworthiness or former faults O lead me not into Temptatien but deliver me from Evill Stand by and strengthen me in the Hour of Trial least I forget my vows and deny Thee O that my Soul may never draw back least Thine have no Pleasure in me I can serve no better Master O let mine Ears be bored to the door of thine house as the Token and Assurance of my being thy Servant unto Death I know 't is my Duty I am sensible 't is my Priviliedge and Honour I am convin'd that 't is my Interest and Felicity my Soul my Life my present and everlasting Well-fare and All depends upon it that thou shouldst be my God for ever O conduct me by thy H. Spirit of Grace that I may walk and Act as having heartily consented he should be so and direct my Heart into thy Love and the faithfull keeping of thy Commandments That when so many Professors make shipwrack of Faith and a Good Conscience and discredit the Religion of my Lord by their shamefull Falls thou mayst make me to stand and improve the warning of their Examples to walk humbly and while I stand to take heed least I fall Having thus surrendred my self to God what is there o my Soul that is ever like to prevail with me to goe back and revolt from him Is the gratification of a Lust the securing of an Estate compliance with a Friend the pleasing of a Superior living in Ease and Honour and outward Prosperity for a little while the saving my Body from suffering or my Life from violence or what ever els be the Motive of my ufaithfullness to God and Apostacy from Him Is Any is All of these any way considerable compared with the Blessedness of having God to be my God. For therby I have the forgiveness of all my Sins and the Assurance of his Favor the certainty of present Protection and Provision all Creatures reconciled to me and to be imployed for my Good as the Friend of God All things to work together for my Advantage and by the evidence of my Adoption a well grounded hope of Eternal Life God as my Sun and Shield will give Grace and Glory and with hold no Good Thing So unspeakably Comprehensive are the Priviliedges of so near a Relation to God in Christ O happy are the People who are in such a case Blessed are the Persons whose God is the Lord. Doe I resolve to abide by my Choice and to trust in Christ for persevering Grace and shall I not ought I not to take Comfort in it Shall I not give God the Glory of his infinite Goodness by adhering to him and rejoycing in him notwithstanding all Temptations to the Contrary Casting all my care upon him and quieting my self in the All-sufficiency of my Heavenly Father having a God in Covenant who will supply all my wants and take care of me as his Own. Shall I not give him the glory of his Truth and Power by trusting him in every Condition by confidence in his Promise Dependance on his Word Faithfullness to his Interest and Constancy in his Service to the end Is it not a most encouraging Thought that God doth never Abandon any who do not first forsake him And after such strict Engagements as I have laid upon my self shall I ever strike the fatal stroke with my own Hand shall I be off and on say and unsay promise and retract and after I have proceeded thus far shall I forsake the Fountaine of Living Waters and turn againe to broken Cisterns After I have examin'd my self considerd my ways confest my Sins and upon serious Deliberation am come to a Resolve and in pursuance of it have devoted my self with such solemnity to be the Lords shall I ever after this forsake Him my own Mercies and lightly esteem the Rock of my Salvation Now I have learn'd in some mensure what Sin is by the sorrows and anguish of an Hearty Repentance now I have discoverd so much of the Snares and Devices of Satan wherby I have formerly been betraid now I am sensible of the dangerous and powerfull influence and Infection of bad Company the Treachery of fleshly Lusts the bewitching Temptations of the World and have tasted a little by my own Experience of the Pleasantness of Wisdoms Paths the Peace and satisfaction of Devotedness to God by the present Rewards of a calm Conscience the communications of divine Grace and
which way to turn he hath made my Path plaine Under sinking Disapointments he hath commanded Succour and been a present Help in the time of Trouble In Great Perplexities his Eye hath been my Guide and his own Arm hath brought Salvation it may be by the Ministry of his H. Angels obeing his order and giving unusual Intimations of very great and otherwise unsuspected Dangers or sending Relief and Deliverance by such small unlikely and unexpected Means as carried the name of God visibly ingraven on them Innumerable Calamities he saves me from which Others groan under and as many Blessings am I favor'd with whereof they are destitute He Spreads my Table and fills my Cup and gives me All Things richly to enjoy when many Excellent Persons of whom the World is not worthy are fed with the bread of Affliction and the Water of Affliction Others have only Necessaries or but few Conveniencies in Comparison with the Plentifull Provisions God hath made for my Chearfull Obedience to Him. And shall I not Praise Him for the precious Things of Heaven the blessings of the Earth the dew and the deep and more especially for the Goodwill of Him who dwelt in the Bush to sanctifie and sweeten All Wherby Common Mercies become the pledge and fore-runner of better Things as the fruit of his Special kindness the witness of his Truth and the seed of Peace and Joy and Righteousness and Praise by reason of his Blessing on all that I possess which otherwise would prove a snare and a Temptation and be intermixt with a Curse And besides the ordinary and Continued Bounty of every Day in the midst of how may Difficulties and Dangers Deut. 33. v. 13.14 have I felt the dear obligations of his Preserving Mercy abroad and at home in forreign Countries as well as my own in the midst of Enimies and among Friends in all Places and at all Times He hath prolonged my Health or made my Bed in Sickness He hath often granted the Desires of my Heart when ever it was for his Glory and contradicted my wishes and disapointed my Endeavors in other Instances when it was more to my Advantage From how many Mischiefs hath he sav'd me by such Things as I deprecated and would have hinder'd How many Evills hath he turn'd for Good He hath heard my Cry in the day Adversity and set my feet in a large Place He hath Chasten'd me for my Profit His Rod and his Staff have comforted me He hath spoken comfortably to me in the Wilderness Affliction hath been usefull and necessary Physick made an Instrument of Vertue and so a token of his Love. Therfore I will sing of the Mercy of the Lord for ever and with the voice of Thanksgiving will make known his Faithfullnes He hath all along conducted me by his Wisdom guided me by his Providence and the Angel of his Presence hath directed my Path and ordered all my Goings He hath been a Cloud to me by Day and a Pillar of Fire by night he hath helped me in my Straits and suppli'd my wants and comforted me in all my sadnesses His powerfull and gracious Presence hath been my constant Guard and his Soveraign never-failing Goodness hath compast me about with Mercy on every side For which O most Mercifull Father my Soul and all that is within me desires to speak thy Praise Ps 89. v. 1. The advantagious Circumstances of many divine Favors do raise their value and deserve to be particularly observ'd and and acknowledged How suitably how seasonably how wisely hath he conser'd his Benefits with what Tenderness and Kindness with what Freedom and Readiness Of his own bounty and goodwill without any Necessity or Obligation on his Part without any desert and Sometimes without so much as a Prayer on mine And what is more notwithstanding my Ingratitude and Forgetfullness of Him and great Provocations heigthned by the abuse of so much Mercy demanding nothing after all in requital of so much Kindness but my Acceptance of his Love and gratefull sense of his Goodness and the sweetest and most reasonable Expressions of it by Thankfull Obedience More especially would I Bless the Lord for Inlightening my mind in the Great Mysteries of Religion disposing in wonderfull Wisdom the several means and methods wherby he brought me to the Knowledg of the Truth by Parents Ministers Friends Acquaintance Books Afflictions c. Beginning with me in Childhood awakening and cultivating the inbred notions of God and natural Religion of Good and Evil Rewards and Punishments by the carefull Instructions of Parents or others concern'd in my Education giving me the advantage of Good Examples Counsels and Encouragements to know and do well with more assistance and less hindrances and diversions then to many Others Particularly for the Excellent Priviledge and inestimable Blessing of his H. Word and Sacraments the liberty of the Christian Religion in the Purity of it in most of those Places where God hath been pleas'd to cast my Lot. Causing me to lay down in green Pastures and leading me beside the still Waters Instructing me in the Revelation of his Will and Grace by J. Christ acquainting me with the sublime Principles and Articles Precepts and Rules Promises and Hopes of the Gospel in order to Eternal Life I bless Thee O Lord and shall for ever do so that with any or all these advantages and helps thy H. Spirit hath taught me to know the Truth as it is in Jesus heartily to believe and obey it That by thy Grace I have been convinc't of Sin and brought to Repentance showing me the necessity of a Saviour to make my Peace with Thee the All sufficiency of his Grace the fullness of his merit the freeness of his Love and his readines to receive me to mercy inviting and calling me to it and enabling me to accept his gracious Invitation and obey his Compassionate Call making me willing by a Powerfull and Victorious Grace drawing me with Cords of Love and so effectually persuading me to consent to thy Covenant and comply with thy message on the gracious terms of the Gospel Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord J. Christ who thro his abundant mercy hath begotten me againe to a lively Hope having humbled my proud Heart and conquer'd the perversness of my Stubborn Will and brought my Soul to an entire Subjection to himself Who took pitty on me when he saw me in my Bloud spread his skirt over me cast a mantle upon my nakedness washed me from my Sins and put his own Comeliness upon me by sanctification who open'd my Eyes when I was leaping blinfold into the pit of Destruction who healed my Soul when I was fick unto Death who rescue'd and recover'd me from the slavery of the Devil when I was led Captive by him at his will. Shall not a ransom'd redeemed Slave be thankfull to his Deliverer shall not a miserable undone Sinner who is receiv'd to mercy be thankfull for a