Hell Gates and yet are delivered Let me put you in remembrance of these two or three duties 1. Oh see that you ingage your hearts unto the Lord I will love the Lord with my whole heart I will love him dearly Ps 103.1 c. Bless the Lord oh my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name Bless the Lord oh my soul and forget not all his benefits who forgiveth all thine iniquities who healeth all thy diseases who redeemeth thy life from destruction who crowneth thee with loving kindness and tender mercies Oh pray that your love to him who hath delivered your souls from the snares of cruel death and pulled your feet out of the miry Clay where there was no bottom may encrease and abound more and more Josh 24.14 Sincere affections and dissobedience are the only returns that God looks for Deny not these in the highest degree 2. Give up your lives for the Lord. Be content he shall dispose of them in the way he knoweth best for his glory If he shall call you forth to suffer death for a testimony of your love to him and the Gospel of his Son think it not too much for him Well mayst thou undergo ten thousand natural deaths were it possible for Jesus Christs redemption from the hands of thy spiritual enemies is cause enough for thee to serve him without fear of what man can do unto thee Look upon thy past deliverance as things never no never to be forgotten nor sufficiently to be required by thee 3. Take care now thou hast found him whom thy soul loveth oh take care for his undisturbed residence You know what it is to want the comforting presence of Jesus Christ let those who know not the terrors of the Lord and the fearful consequents of his forsakings venture the displeasure of him by their slighting of his precepts and slothfulness in his paths but let not us do so we that know what it is to be thrown into the depths of horror and how hard as well as sweet is our recovery thence oh let not us dare to sleep upon the top of the mast but rather keeping fast hold upon our beloved by the hand of Faith beg of him that he would not depart out of our hearts lay a strict charge over all the cares and comforts and companies and conditions of this life Canticles 2.7 by the Roes and by the Hindes that they stir not up nor awake our Love until he please 4. If the Lord Jesus Christ shall please for his own glory to walk a while out of your hearts again if he shall at any time withdraw the comforts of the Holy Ghost loose not in Satan again by unbelief distress not your selves overmuch by giving way to the least mistrust as if he would never return Ps 77. and more remember his loving kindness and his works and wonders of old think he never goes away but when it is expedient for us Joh. 16.7 and having already sealed us by the holy spirit of promise given us eye-salve enlightning our understandings in the knowledge of his love whereby we are perswaded our names are written in the book of Life Râ—m 11.29 The gifts and calling of God are without repentance 2 Cor. 1.10 He that hath delivered may well be trusted that he will do so again John 10 29. No Man or Devil can take us out of the hands of God John 13.1 Whom be loveth he loveth to the end Phil. 1.6 He that hath begun a good work will carry it on to the day of Christ 5. You have been delivered from the violence of temptations but remember that yet we carry about us such sinful natures the Fruits of our first Parents transgression that would again put up his head against God and his most righteous Laws yea and take part with Satan against him and our selves too there is yet an unregenerate part the remnant of the old Adam remaining in the best and holiest of mâ—n after all the forty years temptations of Israel in an howling wilderness and when they are brought into the Land of rest Judg. 3. yet there the Amorite will be found nothing but dissolution will fetch the leprosie of natural corruption out of our earthly tabernacles Lev. 14.45 and especially will this cursed corruption annoy us with offers to do the same things that Satan before he was dispossessed would have done my experience tells me some of the old filth still sticks behind The wise God will have it so that the vileness and greatness of our old sins might not be forgotten that we may be poised down with humility and put a longing after natures dissolution till which time sin now twisted with our nature will not be removed this remnant of the old man with its stirrings cannot choose but be an heavy burden to the new Rom. 7.24 't is such a body that it made the very soul of a Paul groan and cry out for a deliverance Ex. 17.16 This â—malck God hath sworn it that he will have war with it for evnr As good Souldiers of Christ our Captain let us be perswaded to hold on our war against this party of corruption yet abiding in our natures and in so doing we have the comfort of these ensuing considerations 1. That this remainder of cursed nature though it be not utterly destroyed yet shall it not have dominion over us so as to bring forth Fruits unto death or to be charged upon our persons to condemnation Rom. 8 2. For by Christ our Lord we are dischargea and set at freedom from the Law of sin and death being under the Covenant of grace we have received the spirit of life and power even that blessed spirit that raised our Lord Jesus Christ from the dead which hath quickned us and put life and power into us in a good measure enabling us to crucifie the flesh with its affections and lusts Gal. 5.24 so that its dominion is taken away though its life be continued for a season 2. And it is but for a season that its life is continued in us the war will not hold always there is a time coming when we shall be delivered from this bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the sons of God Rom. 8.19 c. 23. and not onely we but those very Creatures the Heaven and the Earth shall be set free from that bondage of corruption which lyeth upon them by reason of the sin of man in that day we shall be made like unto the Son of God in our measure The transfiguration upon the Mount seemeth to be a resemblance of that glory wherein Jesus Christ shall appear as he was the Son of David when he shall come to take the Kingdom unto himself then shall the poor benighted Sons of the day welcome in that joyful morning with a new Song and Psalms of tryumphant victory in their hands Rev. 15.3 then shall all the enemies of our Souls be totally subdued and even
it had before The Flowers and Herbs and Spices did as liberally send abroad their sweet Odours as they did before The sight wanted nothing of that compleatest beauty which clad the whole Creation It had the same ravishing Object discerning Organ and diffusing Medium the eye saw the Sun shone the creatures shewed themselves as much as they did before And yet poor Adam could not take that delight in any thing as he took before oh monstrouâ— Oh astonishing change what will not a guilty Conscience do when sin entred into the world what a death came upon all the comforts that were in the world and now what footsteps of melancholly canst thou find here it is probable that he who came but newly warm out of his makers hands so exactly tempered as might have made him live a life of immortallity should thus be astonished and câ—ushed into amazing dread upon the juddain and all by the abounding of a melancholick humour away with this conceit Rather think what sad work sin will one day or other make upon the soul that maketh not a speedy return and an holy timely resistance against it 3. But still thou art of opinion that 't is melancholly that doth all this mischief amongst the Sons of Adam however it fared with their Father well be it so but tell me then dost thou think that it is not possible for theâ— to fall into the like condition is not the God with whom thou hast to do the God of nature as well as the God of grace and therefore able to prohibite the comfortable influence of and suffer discords and disorders to arise in both he is able to transform thee into a breathing Statue to make this jollity and roaring mirth to hide its head and hold its peace while sorrow and sadness tribulation and anguish gnaw upon thine heart he is able to cut off the spirit of Princes Ps 76.12 Kings cannot stand before him they that have the greatest advantages and priviledges above all other men to solace themselves in the abundance of Earthly delights do little think how easily God can bring them down without hands he can smite thy heart with melancholly as well as others 't is but for him to cross thee in the thing thou settest thine heart upon and where art thou then no further proof of this is needed then that of Saul A man considering to what by whom over whom he was raised that might have as well expected a peaceable continuance in his great and unsought-for Royalty as any other Monarch And yet you find it otherwise God for his neglect of waiting patiently and believingly takes away his Kingdom puts him under the rule of an evil spirit 1 Sam. 16.14 The spirit of the Lord departed from him and the evil spirit from the Lord terrified troubled him Thus you see 't is not easie to dally with sin God can make the sinner quickly weary of his life by withdrawing the comfort and quiet of it and filling it with so much terror and horror that there shall not be the least room left for pleasures I told you of Nebuchadnezzar of Cain Bellshazzer and Judas and now of Saul and you your selves may possibly remember what doleful examples have been in your own knowledge how those who spent their days in pleasure putting Heaven to defiance by their ungodly conversations have some of them at least been glad to be beholden to the Knife to the Halter to the Water to the Sword to the Bullet c. to help their tormented soules out of their weary bodies So exquisite is that torture arising from an awakened Conscience that it puts the patient upon a miserable choice of ending his present agonies with the adventure of an infinitely more worse rather then abide the woe that is therein Poor man such a thing as this can the hand of the Lord once lifted up against thee bring upon thee Thou thinkest thou hast little cause to fear falling into the depths of terrors because resolved to avoid melancholly by a merry life Thou conceivest that to be the only cause of any ones distress and therefore not so much to be feared But were this true alasâ— thou hast the greater cause to sear Thine enemy is within thy own bowels As Physick doth not always preserve him who with the greatest care and constancy observeth its rules but oftentimes apparently brings to an untimely end so carnal joyes do by inward peace preserve it they may a while but many times destroy it by provoking the just God to arise in his wrath But however this is most certain corporal medicines cannot immortalize any mans person nor can carnal mirth any mans peace assuredly God will break that peace that is not purchased by the bloud of Christs Cross One time or other call it melancholly or what you will that fit of fears shall so closely follow the now presumptuous soul that no carnal no corporal cordial nothing but a touch of that hand that cast down will be able to rid away Such an evil that no King can cure but he whose prerogative it is to kill and make alive out of whose hand none can deliver Deut. 32.29 6. Remember judgement is already gone out against thee the sentence wants nothing but execution The righteous Law of God which he is resolved to magnifie and make it glorious hath already declared what shall be the end of impenitency Bless not thy self with vain thoughts that God will spare any one for his greatness or for his goodness or his meanness or for any thing but his own Sons righteousness and such also must not go free without their share of a wounded Conscience 4. especial hours of temptation At the begining of Spiritual life or the end of natural or upon some hainous fin committed or heavy afliction let out God usually at one of these times more or less will have every one to know by sad experience that he himself is a righteous sin-hating God that the Devil is a malicious soul-hunting enemy that they themselves are in a miserable and forlorn condition without a multitude of tender mercy no way to be had but by a Christ The Law spares none and the Law-maker is a God of truth that will keep up the authority and honour of his own sayings to a little Oh! take the book of the Law in your hands then and let the truth of that strike such a terror into thee that may make thee to betake thy self to the love and life of Christ with strong cryes to save thee from the terror of that wrath that is to come If you will not hearken unto me and will not do all these Commandments And if you shall despise my statutes or if your soul abhor my judgements so that you will not do all my Commandments but that ye break my Covenant I also will do this unto you I will even appoint over you terror Levit. 26.14 15 16. If there be among you a
the mark the trace of which cannot be found even so we as soon as we were born began to draw toward our end and had no sign of vertue to shew but were consumed in our own wickedness By this time the stout hearts of sinners will be brought down those whom the evidence of truth shining in the testimonies of the Prophets and Apostles could not convince or convert from their evil words and ways sad experience will work upon if they cannot remove their pains fain would they diminish or prevent the increase of them I pray thee Father Abraham that thou wouldest send to my Fathers house for I have five brethren lest they also come into this place of torment Luk. 16.27 28. For shame let not Hell have more charity then earth thy old companions in the burning Lake would not by any means be troubled with the company of thee whom they engaged and encouraged in evil ways they have fins and sorrows enough of their own without the addition of others to weight them down into everlasting confusion here it may be some comfort but an envious one to have many companion in the like misery but there in Hell 't is nothing so Think then shall those that have been in the subburbs of Hell by spiritual desertions or those who are really gone down thither never to return wish me to look to it that I never come into that place of torment and shall not I whom it most of all concerns befriend my own pretious soul with a serious seasonable consideration of it's eternal danger God forbid 9. If thou wilt but now at last be willing it is more then possible thou maist be hid from or in the day of the Lords wrath Resolve with thy self fully that thou wilt now enter the ways that God by the Gospel of his Son hath chalked out for the ways of peace and walk therein endure the troubles of an holy Life shun not the spiritual worship of God think not the griefs arising from true repentance or the troubles God by wisdom and love shall permit Satan to inflict upon thee to humble thee for thy past sins or patient passing through many tribulations to be sufficient causes to quarrel with God or his ways or worship or people think not oh think not God the merciful God the God who is Love that he is an hard Master venture thy talent abroad act what thou hast for the glory of the giver thou shalt not complain of thy returns of mercies They shall be sure if not swift mercies that holiness will entitle thee unto Is 15.3 Thou maist be sure where grace leads the Van glory and peace shall bring up the Reer Is 52.12 Complain not that thou wantest power to turn thy self from sin to holiness from self to Jesus Christ from nature to grace till thou hast faithfully employed the power thou already hast if God hath made thee willing he will not fail to make thee able what is hard to the flesh shall be easie and delightful to the spirit John 14.6 the way thou walkest in gives Life Heb. 10 20. a Life of duty and a Life of glory 't is a living way But dally not overlong say not within thy self shall I do it must I leave my old sins when shall I begin make no longer If 's and And 's but be up and doing Behold now is the accepted time now is the day of salvation 2 Cor 6.2 Let it alone till a little longer and then a thousand world will not afford an hiding place from the wrath to come 10. Iâ— God hath spared thee many years not letting out his terrors upon thy soul for sin thou hast no cause to flatter thy self but to tear the more the longer terrors are in coming the more terrible when they come and come they will one time or other As comforts long with-held from the child of God come in greater abundance at the last so do terrors to the wicked Lam. 3.27 In this sence it is good to bear the yo akâ—â—n ones youth Gods forbearance is no forgiveness and greater must that fire be whose fuel hath been long in gathering Rom. 2.5 Thou heapest up wrath against the day of wrath long impenitency and hardness of heart will make thy pile of such a bulk that when the breath of the Lord shall kindle it who can quench it two vials are always filling together the one is here below the other above the vial of sin and the vial of wrath or else the vessel of grace and the vessel of glory look to it then as these vessels fill apace on earth so do those in Heaven unhappy is that Soul whom God doth not take off from his work of filling up the measure of sins by pouring out the vials of his wrath while it is yet little You flee from the pains of repentance to a merry Life you do what you can to gag the mouth of conscience to prevent your own disturbance made by its loud cryes lay aside the Scriptures as bankrupts do their books least too much searching should beget sadness reproach the Godly man because he is your reproof do by the powerful painful Ministers of Christ as the storied town of sluggards did by their Smiths drive them away that you may sleep the longer or in plain terms love darkness rather then light least you should be reproved by the light but silly worm what art thou doing all this while thou flâ—est from the Adder and the Serpent will bite thee thou flâ—est from thy friend to an enemy from the Lancings of a Chyrurgeon to the deadly wounds of an adversary from Gods way of healing thee by gentlet means from pricking of thy heart till a dart strike through thy Liver in a word all thy care is to shift off present needful temporal gentle correction and fatherly chastisement but this is not thy way thou blessest thy self with thoughts that thy conscience shall never trouble thee but it will not be the longer God forbears to handle thee thou shouldst fear the more I have done what I could to employ the talent of my experience for thy profit I know a wounded conscience to be such a Guest that no man can fall in Love with it but rather then abide under an ignorant flattering seared conscience let my portion be a wounded one the next remove of this may be yea shall be in every child of God from horror to healing peace and rest whereas the other labouring to avoid wounds here will fall into woe and a worse condition for ever Do as you like since it will be no otherwise I for my part shall pray heartily with that good man Lord here lance me here burn me here tear me so thou spare me for ever THE END HAving spoken something of Satans stratagems in my preceeding treatise I intended to have spoken no more of that subject But since the writing thereof that wicked one Satan hath made his attempts upon me
that heavy hand of temptation which lyeth upon them to draw the natural principle of self-love to a composition and rather then remain a close prisoner in such bondage to change it for a Vassallage to one of these common principles of Hell 1. That there is no such thing as Heaven nor Hell 't is a meer fixion and therefore but a meer folly to trouble our selves about them Or else 2. T is better for a Man to take his share in the pleasures of the flesh allowing God and our selves so much service and care as our Forefathers and others have done And not concern himself so deeply in the affairs of eternity If I am elected I cannot be damned if reprobated not saved To these or some such prisons the Devil shifts souls wearied with terrors And it matters not him much in which they are may he but be the keeper 4. Or lastly if all these fail yet Satan hath a further design If he find that the Garrison cannot be won by storm that still there is a resistance made against all his attempts He cannot drive the soul to utter despair of mercy or to yeild its members servants to divers lusts and pleasures Yet nevertheless he hopes that the breaches the wide gashes that he now makes may be a way for entrance in times to come That a long life shall not be able to make them up again he knows that upon every falling into sin he shall have a fâ—ll blow at the soul thus troubled and that the greatness of the doubts now raised may prove a mighty impediment to the hearts closing with Christ by faith This last have I found most true in my own case This first delusion ministred much strength to every following temptation 3. Satan the great enemy intended nothing but my final overthrow not the least good but the greatest evil and yet shall I here make bold to tell the world how much I stand bound to fear the Lord for his goodness in delivering me and disposing my fears for good For. 1. As soon as it pleased God that my body recovered out of its distemper I lay under much trouble by reason of the great fears before menâ—â—oâ—ed and this made me seek out for some advice now for my wracked mind And acquainting that blessed Man of God Dr. 〈◊〉 with my trouble he gave me to understand that iâ— was a meer delusion of Satan 2. I found iâ— my self serious thoughts of my eternal state of Heaven and Hell attended with endeavours to seek the one and avoid the other 3. And I sound not only the Lord comming iâ— by his bâ—essed spirit with conviction of sin but also reâ—sing in my soul an high estimation of his love and favour 4. I found my self stirred up to pray God enabling me by his blessed spirit therein so that now it might be said as once of Paul behold he prayeth I could then have spoken to God as one speaketh to his friend 5. Open profession of the truth of the Gospel followed hereon Gladly bearing the reproachful name of Puritan which was the name in fashion in those dayes to revile professors withall 6. Prayer in my Family was set up also by me when young and unmarried 7. Former sins did not only dislike me but also former pleasures and pastimes As Bowling and Cocking c. And. 8. Association with the godly was my delight the Men that feared God were the Men of my choice but especially with much content did I embrace acquaintance with and was much helped by one Mr. The. Hibben of Rowton above others a Gentleman eminently worthy for profession of the Gospel 9. Frequent was my attendance upon the word preached Often went I to Brompton Brrian to hear that holy Man of God Mr. Peirson So that by this time methoughts I could discern a work of God wrought in me whereby I found the new Man as well as the old 10. Going to Brompton I not only founâ— much help for my Soul by the Ministry of the word but it pleased God also to bring me into acquaintance with a noble Family eminent in those dayes for Religion Sr. Robert Harleigh Out of which he gave me a meet helper both for body and Soul Here was the first conflict wherein Satans malice was over matched by the super-abundant grace of God CHAP. II. Victory in and over temptation matter of admiration Satan disappointed in particular temptations Doth not cease them but suspend them Security the unbeseeming consequent of spiritual deliverance The Mother of more and greater miseries Satans Art may vary but his Aime that same the writers experience herein WHo can but admire the Wisdom Might and Mercy of God clearly manifesting it self in holding up poor weak and worthless Man under any one of all those heavy conflicts he hath with the powers of darkness Oh what policy what power what poison is every stratagem of the Devil managed with all how doth that evil one set his All at work that poor Man might be caught kept and confounded by him at once And that temptation might not rise up a second time But such is the heart of God towards Man in misery that he stands not by as an idle spectator of our sufferings but teacheth our hands to war and our singers to fight He makes us to understand what we could hardly believe 2 Pet. 2.9 That he knows how to deliver out off temptation That there is no desperate case with him That our unbelief cannot render the faith of God of none effect 2 Tim. 2.13 That though we believe not yet he abideth faithful and cannot deny himself such may be the anguish of spirit and cruel Bondage under disertion that as the Children of Israel could not hearken to the words of promise spoken to them by Moses Exod. 6.9 Though no condition more needing it so faith of Adoption may be much decayed the Breasts of promise may not let down their wonted consolations The Soul seemeth to be in a languishing condition by reason of its dissability to imbrace the promises 'T is brought to its wits end come to the utmost of faith and patience And yet for all this our God abideth faithful he cannot deny himself he is the only wise God And a Saviour of such as are gone to the utmost end of faith ready to drop away into total unbelief He that can but place Affiance in God the Saviour though God hath not planted Assurance of Salvation in him may yet abide confident of deliverance Dwell in stay thy self upon God by this faith and thou shalt find the want of Assurance may damnifie but cannot damne thee Mark well that passage of the Psalmist Ps 91.1 He that dwelleth in the secret place of the most high shall ledge under the shadow of the Almighty Give him the honour of his being The most high And Almightiness shall be thy defence Trust in his mercy and thou shalt not need to tremble at his power But remember
my duty and safety to become partner with the people of God in all the divine ordinances and providences that should be imposed upon them the sence of which duty made me tye my endeavours with theirs to draw the Ark of the God of Israel to its own place 1 Sam. 6.12 And although like the Kine went on lowing all the way yet to the best of my understanding I kept the strait wayes of the Lord and did not wickedly depart from my God After the intestive broils of those times were somewhat abated and leisure with liberty lay common for any man to be as good as he would Though I thankfully embraced the freedom of the Gospel as a singular favour from Heaven yet I must confess as matter of much sorrow that neither the many afflictions nor mercyes under which I was exercised were so well improved as they should But contrarily I forgot to return to God according to his benefits Not long after this I found my sins growing to so great a bulk that I could not look up My former sin began to grow fresh in my remembrance and the Lord to withdraw the light of his countenance which I had now for a good season and in a good measure enjoyed my communion with him began much to abate and his rod of affliction such as I had not known before began to smart upon my back In my former trials then which I thought once none could be greater I was not brought so near the brink of utter ruins as I was in this and what followed First the Lord began to lay on a load of sore and gauling afflictions upon my loines mainly By bringing a day of silence upon his Ministers from whose lips I had often received sufficient drops of that water of life to quench the thirst of my heart panting after God And blocking up the solemn assemblies of his Saints permitting things so contrary to my judgement to be introduced and added to his worship These together with some other heavy afflictions at home from some of mine own relations did so concur with my former tryals that I now concluded more then at any time before God had withdrawn himself from me Hereupon he was pleased to suffer that cruel enemy Satan that old Serpent to break in upon my soul with such dread and terror that he made my body to quake upon my bed so that I was fain to have one to lye upon me to keep me from shaking thinking then he had an opportunity to accomplâ—sh his hellish tragedy my self being so abused by his former delusions and still entertaining thoughts that God had forsaken me that cursed enemy to the most glorious and ever blessed God would have tempted me as once Jobes Wife dâ—d her husband to curse God and this he pressed with much violence but through the mercy of God was not able to accomplish his wicked design though he seemed to me to affirm with as strong affirmations and as bloudy oaths as ever were heard from any swearing wretch that I was damned territâ—ing me in the night with fearful dreams and visions of a spiritual nature which were most dreadful to my apprehensionâ— and not being be through the goodness of God to make my tongue his cursed instrument departed for a season as though he would have rented the Heavens and the Earth But reviving again his temptations she whom God had given me for a meet helper fighting against him by earnest prayer to Almighty God and likewise many Christian friends that came to see me he now began to desist and fail in that way and therefore began to try another viz. In relation to the former delution as though I should do some murtherous act And now shewing himself to be according as our God hath said of him a murtherer from the beginning he with strong temptations endeavoured to make me imbrue my hands in the bloud of my dearest friend who had been so helpful to me against his former temptations which was most grievous to my poor soul and fearing least his violent temptation might have overcome me I being so much in his hands desired her that she would withdraw her self telling her the temptation But she something amazed thereat undauntedly lifted up her soul to the Lord by holy ejaculations and resolved she would not give that enemy one inch of ground But casting us both upon the protection of the Almighty with a lively faith in the Lord Jesus vanquished the enemy at that time Yet this temptation continnued about two months in all which time my poor soul being most dreadfully afflicted I did again earnestly desire my Wife to get some company in the house by night but having little help or comfort from others she the more uncessantly acted faith and prayer until our gratious God had given us deliverance CHAP. IV. His strugling under and against temptations The means most used and blessed for his support Cast again the fourth and last time into the furnace of fiery hot instigations to blaspheme the means used and owned for coming thence An happy issue ANd having now passed some five or six years since the last grievous visitation all this time labouring for the pardon of sin in the use of means appointed of God to get out of that sad condition wherein I was still haunted with blasphemous and horrible injections and cursed instigations to curse and swear which that wicked enemy could not after his utmost endeavours bring any further then my tongues end Now I say labouring under these temptations and making my condition known to my Godly acquaintance they affirming that these were not my own but Satans suggestions some comfort I had from them labouring in the word of the Lord and prayer This was one good stay Making use also of those blessed streams flowing from the word of God I mean the works of those blessed servants of Christ who have laboured much in writing upon such subjects As namely Dr. Preston upon the attributes which I read above twelve times over Dr. Thomas Goodwins Child of light walking in darkness Mr. Bridges's lifting up of cast down Mr. Simonds his deserted soul And that pretious piece of that worthy Mr. Burroughs Saints walking by faith without sight and sence And Mr. Baxâ—ers thirty two directions traversing these books over through the Lords blessing Were a great comfort and support in bearing up my soul against the enemies cruel attempts and wearisome afflictions under which I strugled having no assurance of the pardon of my sins and lying still under the guilt of that great transgression so long past committed and under many more since Moreover though I could not pray with a free spirit yet under all this heavy load I still followed the Lord by earnest prayer that he would come and take away both guilt and filth of sin and destroy that cursed nature from which Satan took his advantage against me and help me though he tarry yet still to wait for
him in the way of his judgements And now publick assemblies which were wont to be a great solace to me in my distress being not to be enjoyed in that purity I expected and the practise of the publique ministers being so contrary to my judgement and conscience I neither could nor would upon any terms become a hearer of them and thereupon did rather choose to expose my self to the scorn and displeasure of men in keeping meetings every Lords day in my Family Spending that day in prayer and praises and as occasion was offered dayes of humiliation These duties having most of them been my practise for many years wherein I served the Lord withall my might though sometimes under much dejection about the beginning of April my good God through the purchase made by the bloud of his Son that blessed seed of the Woman through whom he had covenanted with out first Parents immediately after the fall to give eternal life having by earnest prayer and intercession I humbly claiming this from the Lord that he would account and make me righteous through that purchase and redemption made by Christ now resolved to take up and put an end to the quarrel which he had against me for all my sins yet to let me know my deserving and to manifest a further work upon me did suffer the enemy to break in again upon me in most dreadful manner Charging upon me that one sin as formerly named above others with such violence and power That I believe I was in as great despair for the time as ever man was My soul by that malicious enemy to mankind being stuffed with all abominations of hellish thoughts injections cursed instigations with other base and abominable vile immaginations he at last infused into me as much malice against my blessed God as possibly he could I thought now I was utterly forsaken living in expectation of nothing but the lower most hell and brought now again almost to blaspheme When I saw that I was in this most dreadful case fearing I should I have wilfully blasphemed I could have been well content that God should have damned me and thrown mâ— into hell fear of being over tempted and thereby to blaspheme God made me weary of life When my Wife would put me on to pray for a blessing upon my meat I did it feignedly being willing to be starved if I could And now in this dreadful condition so dreadful that I believe few Sons of Adam were ever in a worse that did not do the things that I feared i. e. blaspheme God and destroy himself I say being in such a condition and the sin so often spoken of lying still heavy upon me and shame withholding me from revealing it for many years it pleased God to over-rule my spirit that I sent for a worthy Minister of Jesus Christ who coming to me the day before my deliverance I acquainted him with that sin which did so lye upon my Conscience and never was revealed before Well remembring how holy David Ps 32.3.5 who while he kept silence his waxed old through his roaring all the day long did but say he would confess his sin and the Lord forgave his iniquity So the Lord the very next day came and set my soul at rest The comfort and help that I found from my natural relations and friends this woful condition was none at all but instead of pitty I met with reproach from many only my dear yoke fellow was my fellow sufferer of whom I can say the Lord gave her to me for such a day as this to be his blessed instrument of my deliverance for when I was even distracted she laid the glory of the Lord deeply to her heart and did daily bring the word of God to my soul reading with great dilligence the holy Scriptures Which being done then powring forth her soul to the Lord with ardent affections and with a mighty faith in our gratious God who had manifested his great love to her in former troubles the experience of which encouraged her to go on still in earnest and frequent prayer and expectation that the Lord would accomplish the work of deliverance And upon the sixteenth day of April 1669. a day for ever to be solemnized as glorious and honourable to the Lord by me his poor creature she going on in her constant course of prayer after she had given the Lord his holy and reverend titles using Moses his arguments brake forth into these words My Father my Father what wilt thou do with mine husband he hath been speaking and acting still in thy cause oh destroy him not for thine own glory Oh! what dishonor will come to thy great name if thou do it Oh! rather do with me what thou wilt oh do with me what thou wilt but spare my Husband c. Thus laying hold of that word of God in the Prophet With a lively faith concerning your Sons and your Daughters command you me and striving mightily in prayer the duty being eâ—ded the Lord immediately appeared and then that Lyon of the tribe of Judah that blessed seed of the Woman that second Adam that promised Messiah the Son of the living God who had formerly broke the Serpents head he who in a single duel had disarmed the Devil in the Wilderness tâ—od the Wine press of his Fathers wrath alone this Jesus the Saviour who knew how to succour tempred souls made hare his holy arm and his own right hand brought dâ—liverance he delivered me from my strong enemy and saved mâ— from him that hated me He that is pleased to stile himself a God hearing prayer and in most of his great works delights to advance his own power by using small and unlikely means after long tarrying and in a time when I looked not for him came now and owned his own ordinance crowned the cryes and faith and patience of a poor Woman with such success that my praise shall be continually of him The proud mâ—y scorn but the humble shall hear ther of and be glad That roaring Lyon mine adversary the Devil that old Serpent that red-Dragon that unclean Spirit that Lyar Accuser Murtherer from the beginning that Apollion to the Geeckâ— Abbaddon to the Jews and destroyer to all for as are the names given him by the word of truth so is his nature and so hath he laboured mightily for a long season to shew himself in me even now when he thought himself almost seated in the pâ—ssâ—ssion of his long sought Dominion and that there was no casting of him out of my soul which â—e abused making it his dunghil whereon he laid all the filth of hellish thoughts and abominations that he could wanting nothing but my will that Fort-royal to have put me under an eternal vassalage to his long laid desigâ—s now I say was that accursed enemy to God and me his poor creature sent to his own place by my dear Lord Christ that holy Son of the blessed God who took
this Amalek of inbred corruption against which we have been fighting with the sword of the Spirit many a weary day Numb 24.20 I say then this Amalek the first of the nations that warred against Israel our souls his end shall be that he be destroyed for ever 3. Such a sence of sin remaining in us as hinders our rejoycing in expectation of the future glory or joyful thanksgiving for our present deliverances is not our duty but our sin God will not be robbed of his glory under a pretence of mourning for his dishonour as soon as God the Father hath delivered us from the power of darkness and translated us into the Kingdom of his dear Son Col. 1.12 13. 'T is then our duty to give thanks to him who hath made us meet to be partakers of the inheritance among the Saints in light He that readeth the book of the Acts and considereth how the holy Ghost takes notice of the affection of joy in the converts of those times Act. 2.46 Act. 8.8.39 Act. 9.31 Act. 16.34 may readily conclude that it is as natural for babes in Christ as soon as they are born to rejoyce as it is for others to cry The life of a real Christian should be a continual holy-day And therefore let us keep the feast according to that of our Apostle 1 Cor. 5.8 And follow the advice of that holy man Mr. Downam to that purpose in his Christian warfare who himself was not only troubled with this old man but also with blasphemous suggestions as he himself told me many years past when I went to seek comfort in my condition Let us submit lye down acquiese and be satisfied in the wisdom and goodness of God whose providence is every where and over ruleth all things in Heaven and earth for his own glory and his peoples good And rejoycing in our hopes of glory and interest in all the blessed promises of the word of God so go on in our Christian warfare with good courage not feating men or Devils as to perform out duties towards God and reach out after the end of our faith the salvation of our souls Christ in his word hath given us good assurance of our obtaining this In fidelity is the Devils greatest engine to destroy our rejoycing of hope Would the Lord but go on with his Conquest over unbelief and raise our faith into a more sollid substance of things hoped for Heb. 11.1 And a clearer evidence of things not seen Would he but teach us how to live by faith how rich a living would it afford us how sweetly might we in the contemplation of the truth and worth of that promised glory triumph over all adversities That state wherein poor man shall behold the face of the blessed God in such a fullness that the glorious Angels Heb. 2.16 are not capable of the like man who hath a nearer relation to Jesus Christ hath also a nearer standing to the very throne then the blessed Angels themselves Rev. 4.4 c. is so transporting so ravishing in the foresight thereof that we may well take up that triumphant song Oh Death where is thy stâ—ng oh Grave where is thy victory 1 Cor. 15.55 Behold what manner of love the Father hath loved us withall that we should be called the Sons of God Now are we the Sons of God And it doth not yet appear what we shall be but we know that when he shall appear we shall be like him for we shall see him as he is Oh! the length the heighth the breadth and depth the fulness of that love of Christ that passeth knowledge Now I come to the third sort of Professors â—nd they are such as have never been greatly â—roubled who though they have been scared â—nd lightly touched by the Arrows of the Almighty yet cannot say they have stuck fast â—ithin them and that the Poison thereof â—ath at any time drunk up their spirits To â—hese my request is that they would suffer a â—ord of warning from one who hath more â—â—eply drunk of the Cup of trembling That â—â—up which his Lord and master drank to the â—ottom that so in a little he might be conâ—â—rmable to his head and having obtained â—ercy might be found faithful The main of all I have to say to such is â—â—at my hearty prayer to God for them is â—â—at they all may be strengthened with all might according to his glorious power unto all patience and long suffering with joyfulness Col. 1.11 That they may walk worthy of the Lord in all well pleasing Remembring 1. The gentler dealings of the Lord with them then with others calls for hearty acknowledgement of thanksgiving Judg. 8.16 He might have taught you with the bryars and thorns of the Wilderness whereas he hath led you with the gentle cords of a man Hos 11.4 Spared you as a man spareth his Son that serveth him Mal. 3 17. He hath made you free without serving a long and hard Apprenticeship under the yoke of bondage He hath gone an easier way with yoâ— then the way of the Philistins Exod. 13.17 you have not seen warr as others have done Let the miseries of me and others provokâ— you to thankfulness and fruitfulness in everâ— good work 2. Remember your condition is not yet 〈◊〉 safe your danger is not so farr over but thâ—â— you have need of caution your great caâ—â— should be that your latter end might be peaâ—â— Prize the peace of your Conscience aâ—â— while you are in with God oh keep in wiâ—â— him still if you let sin in you drive God 〈◊〉 of your souls And when he is gone all yoâ—â— peace is gone all your comfort of hope is gone too A privation of the light of his countenance will beget a dismal night of horror sin will tumble you down from your Heaven of Communion with God and then the valley of the shadow of death will be your walk and Hellish fiends shall frighten you there with continual alarums of your falling lower into the depths of Hell And how long it may be thus with you who can tell oh how will you be able to bear such changes as these are learn of me and others in like case and be wise think not that your present favour of men or gain of Silver and Gold or flattering pleasures of vanity will make you satisfaction for the harms done by sin Or that the remembrance of these will ransome you from or purchase you the least gentler usuage under the hand of terror Your profession is no priviledged condition Sin can find out the sinner even when he hath taken Sanctuary in Sion Is 33.14 Nothing but righteousness can deliver from death Prov. 10 2. Be found any where or doing any thing else and be sure your sin will find you out Num. 32.23 Those things that appear to thee to be plainly sinful or of the lawfulness whereof thou makest a doubt peremtorily refuse the one and patiently forbear till thou art well
tels you nay Luke 13.3 but except you repent you shall all likewise perish And moreover let me tell you that if gross grievous and scandalous open sinners or secret falsehearted hypocrites were the only sufferers in this kind the whole book of Job the 73. Psalm and other places of Scripture might have well been spared out of our Bibles Oh no! I for my own part must needs say my sins my unthankfulness my unprofitableness the great unsuitableness of my heart and life to the purity required by the Law and love of my blessed Redeemer are such as that I have had and still have abundant cause to lay my mouth in the dust and to cry out unclean unclean my spot in regard of these hath been very grievouâ— my grapes have had too too much sowerness in them to put my teeth an edge as indeed they have done but yet to the glory of the free-grace of God my spot hath not been the spot of the wicked Your Vine hath been the Vine of Sodom and your Grapes are Grapes of Gall their clusters are bitter Your drunkenness Whoredoms hellish Oaths Cursings and the like sins have been such as make it wonderful that the Almighty should spare you and punish such as mourn under their far lesser sins I do not justifie my self thereby though I must declare I know none of those things by my self Only I repeat the question to thee again Canst thou think God will always pass by thee unpunished seeing be hath not spared such as desire to fear his name oh no he will not be confident he will not If he distribute sorrows in anger if he puts his own willing people on the rack of an accusing tormenting Conscience Where oh where shall the ungodly and the sinners appear 5. Or do you think that it is not sin nor the Devil that are the cause of all those sad things that are here related but a meer mellancholly distemper of body do you think they are but the issue of a mellancholly brain and no more Briefly to this give me leave poor sinner to say 1. For my self if these two things speak any thing in the case then surely thou arâ— quite out in thy conjectures For. 1. When I had my troubles of mind growing upon me I often used the means appointed for prevention or correction of that distemper and yet my condition was the same still 2. When deliverance came it came suddenly Such changes as I have felt from midnight to mid-day without any interposal of twi-light demonstrates my distemper to have been occasioned by another hand and for other causes then that of mellancholly 2. For others I go not about to deny but that 't is possible and ordinary to meet with persons whom the hand of mellancholly hath marvellously dejected Learned experienced men have said so And to say otherwise in me may well pass for presumptions folly Only I would express my fears least it should prove in the ears of carnal men a Doctrine provoking to unwarrantable mirth and in the ears of weak troubled believers an impediment to faith I fear while good men ascribe so much of the troubles of our souls to the humours of our bodies the care of the body should exceed that of the soul and thereby the glory of God and quiet of our own hearts should at once be dangerously assaulted Sure it is not for nothing that a deep silence lyeth over all the holy Scriptures as to this matter that many are the troubles of righteous and that those troubles lye most about the heart one design of the Holy-Ghost in those writings is to set forth examples of which are abundant there but not the least hint at any time as if the black and bitter waters of a disturbed mind sprang from the jarring humours of the flesh Gods anger for sin either by way of dissertion of comfort or infliction of temptation by permission of Satan to tyranize over the soul are the only causes of every trouble the hiding of his face begets trouble Ps 30.7 the causing of that to shine again is the only remedy Job 34.29 This is all the wisdom of God hath thought fit to publish Ps 4 6 7. If we must needs say more le ts look to our inferences Whatever hand this gross and heavy humour may have in the troubles of the soul let the finner willing to hold fast his iniquity by refusing to entertain hard thoughts of it but plainly answer these things thou thinkest that melancholly is the cause of troubles 1. What is the cause why any man is thus troubled with melancholy is it not because of fin is it not the conceived anger of an all-powerful God or if the party troubled find no sense of divine displeasure within himself yet who but an Atheist will deny the wounds made upon the natural spirits or those made upon the spirit to be both of them a punishment for sin as nothing proves a Deity more plainly then the argument which prophane Atheists most urge against it so nothing more sets forth the deadly nature of sin or the dangerous condition of the sinner then that very thing which is so much in use for their extenuation Atheists tell us there had been no talk of a God in the world if it had not been for fear 't was fear say they that found out and founded the notion of a Deity whereas there had been to speak truly no such thing as fear if first there had not been a God In like manner argue poor sinful sinners there had been no talk of spiritual malladies had it not been for melancholly spirits no distress of the mind but by distemper of the humours and who begat this blackness of distempered humours is not the hand of sin in all this sure 't wil be granted and if so I 'le speak a word to thee anon 2. Thou thinkest a wounded Conscience is but a melancholly conceit sure thou dost not think that it is so in all Give me leave to enquire what do you think was that which troubled Adam in she day that he eat of the forbidden Fruit what was that which un-Paradiced him so soon he hastâ—es away to the thickets for an hiding-place Gen. 3.7 8. lays hold on the broadest Leaves he could meet with for a covering of his nakedness What aileth him now is he not in Paradice still as he was before what makes this suddain alteration why so fearful in the cool of the evening who in the dawning of the past morning knew not what did belong to such a state some mighty chance must needs be in him for there was none without him All things about him were the same but he himself was not No external abatement of the pleasures of sense was here as yet to be found The ear had the same melody of the Choristers of the Woods for delight as it had before The mouth the same rarity and variety of pleasant Fruits to feed upon as
root that beareth Gall and Wormwood and it come to pass when he heareth the words of this curse that he bless himself in his heart saying I shall have peace though I walk in the immagination of my heart to add drunkenness to thirst the Lord will not spare him but then the anger of the Lord and his jealousie shall smoak against that man and all the curses that are written in this book shall fly upon him and the Lord shall blot out his name from under Heaven and the Lord shall seperate him unto evil Deut 29.19 20. According to all the curses of the Covenant that are written in this book of the Law Because I have called and you refused I have stretched out my hand and no man regardeth but ye have set at nought my councels and would none of my reproofes I also will laugh at your calamity I will mock when your Fear cometh When your Fear cometh as desolation and your Destrection cometh as a whirle-wind when Distress and Anguish cometh upon you c. Prov. 24 c. How express is the holy Law of God terror hath an appointed season distress and anguish lye in the Womb of time God hath hiâ— vials of wrath tribulation and anguish to powrâ—â—â— upon enery soul of man that doth evil Rom. 2. 〈◊〉 and who knows what a day may bring forth Prov. 27.1 7. How many a time hath Hell-fire flashed in thy face already and yet thou returnest not I mean how oft hast thou found terror seizing upon thee at all times which yet thou hast shaken off again I can hardly believe there is any sinner in the world that now sinneth with the greatest delight and freedom but findeth that his way is beset with dangers I know not what may be said of such who live in Countryes where the word of God hath not been familiarly taught the Apostle of the Gentiles seemeth to speak the same thing plainly concerning them Even they have witness bearing Consciences and thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another Rom. 2.15 The Devils servants have an hard Apprentiship before they be made free They sin with much bondage before they come to sin with delight The spirit of God hath striven with them their own hearts have smitten them secret warnings have they had within themselves oh do not this thing which God hateth now what do these things mean why they shew you what is like nay sure to be the wages of sin that God will not be blamed when he shall sentence you to an eternal bondage under his heavy wrath He now would have frightned you out of your sinful state and you would not he sent his spirit to strive with you and wring your weapons of sin out of your hands and you would not let them go he gave you some tastes of the Cup of trembling shook the full bottles of wrath before thy eyes which he might have put to thy lips and held them fast there until thou hadst been overwhelmed with terrors He drew his bow and whet his sword that thou beholding that mightest prepare thy seâ—f to escape the prepared instruments of death So that poor sinner thou art not an utter stranger to the things that I am perswading thee to think off the terrors of God Some small appearances may be have been sometime found in thee upon commission of some extraordinary sin Well see to it this is the bitter root which though thou labour to bury it under the Earth a while will without doubt spring up into a mighty tree bringing forth the fruits of shame pain and death 8. Thou goest on merrily in the way of thine own heart labouring to suppress thy sorrows at the first rising Thou hast no thoughts of thy latter end which thou smotherest not in their very beginning But remember though thou fearest not thy self now upon the Earth but thy danger is better thought off in Hell Oh I think with thy self that the story of dâ—mned Dâ—vâ—s was not penned from the mouth of Christ in vain Luke 16.27 c. rather judge it to be as indeed it is an argument fetcht from Hell to carry thee over into the ways of Heaven All thy old acquaintance and relations who once while they were in the Land of the living spent their days in pleasure drawing thee on to use the good things that are now present Wisd 2.6 c. Come on let us fill our selves with costly wine and Ointments and let no flower of the Spring pass by us Let us Crown our selves with Rose-bud before they be withered let none of us go without his part of our jollity let us leave tokens of our joyfulness in every place for this is our portion and our lot is this Let us oppress the poor righteous man let our strength be the Law of justice let us lye in wait for the righteous because he is not for our turn he is clean contrary to our doings he upbraideth us with our offending the Law and objecteth to our infamy the transgressings of our education He professeth himself to have the knowledge of God and he calleth himself the Child of the Lord he was made to reprove our thoughts he is grievous unto us even to behold for his life is not like other mens his ways are of another fashion we are esteemed of him as counterfeit false come he abstaineth from our ways as from filthyness he pronounceth the end of the just to be blessed and maketh his boast that God is his Father let us see if his words be true and let us prove what shall happen in the end of him For if the just man be the Son of God he will help him and deliver him from the hand of his enemies let us examine him with despightfulness and torture him that we may know his meekness and prove his patience let us condemn him with a shameful death for by his own saying he shall be respected In contemplation follow these boon Companions down to Hell and you shall find them of another mind Wisd 5.2 c. There they shall be troubled with terrible fear and shall be amazed at the strangeness of the despised righteous mans salvation so farr beyond all that they looked for And repenting and groaning within themselves for anguish of spirit shall say This was he whom we had sometimes in derision and a Proverb of reproach we fools accounted his life madness and his end to be without honour How is he numbred among the Children of God and his lot is among the Saints therefore have we erred from the right way we wearied our selves in the way of wickedness and destruction what hath Pride profitted us or what good hath riches with our vaurting brought us all those things are passed as a shadow and as a Post that hasteth away and as a Ship that pâ—sseth over the waves of the water or when as a bird hath flown through the air or like an arrow shot at
that tended that way And by reason of the indwelling of sin the remainder of the curse for our first transgression which the best of Gods servants do carry about them taking advantage thereof being like unto Tinder that is ready to take fire as soon as is toucht doth cast his fiery darts into our souls part within us our hearts are ready to opose every truth of God and so we have a daily warfare and great strivings to keep our hearts from consenting to his wicked injections and much ado to bring them into a subjection unto the truths of God and like unto the Bird that hath a dogg tyed unto his legg whereby he is hindred from flying up into the Air and so by his impressions left upon our souls which is so weighty a burden that unders us from soaring up to Jesus Christ by 〈◊〉 and so vigilant is that cursed enemy to the glory of God and mans salvation that he goeth about day and night seeking whom he may davour and taking advantage of our weakness in our sleeps annoying us often with sinful dreams then laying his delusions upon us who still pursuing me according to his former methods lately in the night acted upon me in my sleep as though I had been in the number of them who were dragged from the Tribunal seat to Hell having received the sentance of condemnation with the damned and all this to the end and purpose it possible he could to have blasted that glorious mercy I received from the Lord by the witness of his blessed spirit that God did rather take the advantage of the greatness of my sins for the magnifying of his mercy rather then his justice in my condemnation and that I was of Abrakams family as I have declared in my Narrative in the day when the Lord gave me deliverance out of his hand But so impudent is this fiend of Hell called by the word of truth a lyar from the begining and so the Father of lyes using his old trade towards me with the subtlety of the old Serpent and all this to daunt my faith and to have blasted the mercy which I received from my gratious God who hath laid it upon my soul by such a witness that I believe and know all the Devils in Hell shall not be able to overthrow it And that I may magnifie and set forth the goodness of God I will take up the words of the Prophâ—t Isaiah O Lord my God I will exalt thoe and praise thy name for ever for thou hast done wonderful things according to thy councel of old thou hast been a strength to the needy in his troubles a refuge against the tempest so that the blast of the mighty was as a storâ—â— against the wall the Lord will destroy death and wipe away tears from the faces of his and take of their rebakes the Lord hath spoken it and â—ill make it good and in that day will men say â—â—lo this is our God we have waited for him yea in the way of his judgements he will save us and we will be glad in his salvation He shall bring down the pride of Moab and lay their defensed walls as low as the dust in that day shall this song be sunged in the Land of Judah we have a strong City salvation shall God sâ—t for walls and bulworks Open ye the gates that the righteous Nation may enter therein for by an asured purpose wilt thou preferve in parfect peace for ever because they trusted in thee Trust in the Lord for ever for in the Lord Jehovah is everlasting strength Thou wilt make equal the righteous way of the just the desire of our souls is to the remembrance of thy name for when thy judgements are upon the Earth the Inhabitants of the Earth shall learn righteousness even they that fear thy name but the wicked will not do so nor behold the Majesty of the Lord O Lord they will not now behold thy hand but they shall see it and be confounded with the zeal of thy people but unto us thou wilt ordain peace for thou kast wright all our works for us thy dead men shall live and with my body shall they arise even with my body and shall behold the King in his beauty Awake and sing ye that dwell in the dust thy dew is as the dow of kerbs and the Earth will cast out his dead and in that day of this power shall the coming in be like the drops of dow that arise from the Womb of the worning Thou hast drunk of the brook in the way therefore shall thy head be lifted in that day for the Lord â—â—mâ—â—h out of his place to visit the iniquity of the Inhabitants of the Earth and the Earth shall disclose his blood And to receive the Kingdoms for his inheritance and the utmost parts of the Earth for his possession beirg Heir thereunto by donatian of the Father and â—hâ—n shall that good word of the Lord be â—â—de good that at the â—â—me of Jesus every knee shall bow both in Heaven and Earth and every tongue shall confess that Jesus Christ is both Lord and King to the praise and glory of the Lord for the Father hath said when he brirgeth his first begotten again into the world 〈◊〉 all the Angels and every Creature worship him And the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see together O Sion that bringest good tidings get thee up into the Mountains O Jerusalem that bringest good ridings lift up thy voice with strength be not affraid say to the Cities of Judah behold your God behold he comith with power and his arme shall rule behold his Reward is with him and his work before him and he shall feed his flock like a Shepherd and gather his lambs in his armes and carry in his bosome and guide them with them which are with young It is he that hath measured the waters in his fists covered the Heavens with a span comprehended the dust of the Earth in a measure weigheth the Mountains in Scales and the Hills in Ballances Who hath instructed the spirit of the Lord of whom took he Counsel Who instructed him and taught uim in the way of his judgements Behold the Nation are as a drop of water or counted as the dust oâ— the Ballance He taketh up the Isles as a little thing Lebanon not sufficient for a fire nor the beasts thereof for a burnt Offering to whom the will you liken God he sitteth upon the Circle of he Earth and the inhabitants are as Grasshoppets he spreadth out the Heavens like a Curtain he bringeth the Princes to nothing and maketh the Judges of the Earth as vanity to whom then will ye liken me saith the holy one lift up your eyes and behold who hath Created all these things he bringeth out his Armies by number and calleth them all by their names by the greatness of his strength nothing faileth O ye suffering Saints
why say you my way is hidden from the Lord and my judgement passed over of my God know you not or have you not heard that the everlasting God the Lords of the ends of the Earth is neither weary nor fainteth but giveth strength to him that fainteth the young men shall faint and be weary but they that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength and lift up their wings as the Eagle they shall run and not faint In that day when the Mountains of the Lords house shall be established above the Mountains of the Earth for which glorious day I shall not cease to pray for O thou eternal being of beings whose name is Jehovah the Lord of Hosts who hast made the Heavens the earth the great sea and all the Creatures therein for the manifesting of thy blessed self in thine excellency that so by the displaying of thy glorious attributes we might know thy power wisdom and goodness and fear thy great and glorious name and truly Lord thou hadst done a most sweet work in the day wherein thou beheldst the works of thy hands and said they were very good O the great engagements of love and obedience thou hast laid upon us in that day when thou hadst advanced us and made us not only Lords of the works of thine hands and for our use putting all things in subjection under our feet but making us after thine own Image in righteousness and holiness whereby thou didst enable us to the performance of worship and obedience thou requirest at our hands But O the great dishonour and Rebellion we acted against thee our Creator in breaking thy holy Law which thou gavest us to keep as the Tryal of our obedience and by giving more credit unto Sathan in believing him and what he said then the threatnings of thee our God and therefore O Lord how righteous wast thou in thy judgements upon them and us their posterity in delivering us into the hands of Satan so that we who came from their loins came so deformed with that cursed Image of Satan that we are born thine enemies children of wrath and heirs of vengeance and bringing upon our selves a woful necessity of sinning against thee O Lord how justly mightest thou laid upon our first Parents and we their posterity to have born thy righteous punishments for ever without Redemption But blessed Lord thou didst in judgement remember mercy in condescending to treat with our Parents letting out that gratious promise That the seed of the woman should break the serpents head revealing mercy by a second Adam to come and so entring into a new covenant not of works but of grace that believing in him we should have eternal Life O gratious Father how didst thou magnifie thy mercy over the works of thine hands and didst do a work more wonderful then the Creation in giving the eternal word the brightness of thy glory the express Image of thy self thine only begotten Son by an eternal generation to take upon him the nature of man and to be born of the blessed Virgin that so he might by an Hupostatical union joy the humanity to the diety that so he might be enabled to undergo the work of mans Redemption a work so wonderful that all the Angels could not have devised and into which they pry into with admiration that thereby he might make such an attonement that might satisfie for the sins of man to the utmost and that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have Eternal Life And now dear Father thou hast given us the word of reconciliation the witness of thy truth wherein thou hast made known to us that thou hast given us eternal Life by Jesus Christ that immaculate Lamb of God who hath laid down his Life upon the Cross to answer thy justice and by his sufferings merits and Righteousness Resurrection from Death to Life hath cancelled the Law of condemnation taking down the wall of partition and making admission for sinners to come to the Throne of Grace with boldness And now hast given us pretious promises that what we ask in the name of thy son shall be done for us And now dear Father of Heaven what was I or my Fathers family but a sinful generation of men That thou shouldst choose me to salvation before the world was and in due time to call me to the knowledge of this mistery of mans Redemption and by the witness of thy word and blessed spirit should seal unto me the pardon of sin in the day when thou deliveredst me out of the hands of that roaring Lyon And after my seeking thy face for many years with doubtings and fears under many desertions and dreadful temptations and many various dispensations which thou most blessed God hast turned all to my advantage breaking into my Soul with so much love that I know not whom of the sons of men did ever receive a greater mercy And now Lord of thy goodness hast called me from the ways of the world to be of the number of those whom thou hast chosen to eternal Life and therefore having tasted so abundantly of thy strange Love a Love to admiration a Love we are not able to apprehend in the acknowledgement whereof and that I might declare what a God thou art according to mine engagement and that I might exalt thy glorious name and declare thy loving kindness to me to the ends of the earth have made bold to present these lines to the publick view for the magnifying of thy mercies to me the worst of the sons of men and the greatest of sinners if thou shouldest charge my sins upon me and be thou pleased to accept of what I have written in good part and let thy blessing so go along with it that the delusions methods devices and temptationt of Sathan that old cunning Serpent may be so discovered to poor souls that lye under his cruelty may receive advantage thereby When they shall read this small discourse of thy gratious actings with me O let thy blessing be upon iâ— that they may receive comfort thereby that thy goodness may be magnâ—fied which thou knowest Lord to be the only cause I have given it to the publick view who never thought my namâ— should have appeared in such a way And now dear Father I humbly beseech thee manifest thy glorious Gospel of thy Son to the ends of the Earth that all Nations may know thou art a God through Jesus Christ forgiving iniquity transgression and sin and to that end I humbly beseech thee fulfill thy word in pouring out thy indignation upon that whore of Babylon who hath dyed her garments red in the blood of the Saints that we may say Babylon Babylon is fallen and upon all the powers that oppose the righteous Scepter of thy Son the Gospel whom thou hast made King of Kings and Lord of Lords and hast given him the Heathen for his inheritance and the utmost ends of the earth for his possession who