many_o place_n read_v the_o proverb_n and_o remember_v he_o in_o this_o 1._o forsake_v not_o a_o old_a friend_n 2._o be_v friendly_a and_o faithful_a to_o your_o friend_n 3._o never_o trouble_v or_o trust_v friend_n unless_o there_o be_v a_o necessity_n 4._o last_o be_v long_o in_o close_v with_o friend_n and_o loath_a to_o lose_v they_o upon_o experience_n of_o they_o for_o your_o marriage_n in_o marriage_n you_o lay_v the_o foundation_n of_o your_o present_a woe_n or_o weal_n therefore_o here_o be_v not_o rash_a go_v not_o alone_o yet_o remember_v paul_n 1_o cor._n 7._o 2._o first_o study_v whether_o you_o have_v a_o call_n to_o marry_o yea_o or_o no_o and_o advise_v well_o of_o that_o if_o none_o forbear_v if_o so_o advise_v with_o friend_n before_o your_o affection_n be_v engage_v in_o your_o choice_n 1._o aim_v at_o grace_n 2._o good_a nature_n and_o education_n the_o best_a woman_n be_v not_o ever_o the_o best_a wife_n 3._o good_a part_n of_o understanding_n housewifery_n etc._n etc._n as_o for_o portion_n be_v it_o more_o or_o less_o be_v upon_o certainty_n and_o trust_v not_o word_n and_o for_o parentage_n let_v not_o the_o distance_n be_v too_o great_a lest_o you_o despise_v or_o be_v despise_v however_o be_v sure_a that_o the_o person_n like_v not_o your_o fancy_n but_o your_o judgement_n for_o your_o child_n make_v it_o your_o chief_a work_n to_o make_v they_o 1._o godly_a 2._o useful_a bestow_v most_o of_o their_o portion_n in_o good_a education_n and_o if_o grace_n make_v no_o difference_n do_v you_o make_v none_o in_o your_o affection_n countenance_n portion_n partiality_n this_o way_n end_v in_o nothing_o else_o but_o envy_n strangeness_n etc._n etc._n for_o yourselves_o within_o yourselves_o my_o desire_n have_v be_v to_o carry_v a_o even_a hand_n over_o you_o all_o and_o have_v labour_v to_o reduce_v you_o as_o near_o as_o i_o can_v all_o circumstance_n consider_v to_o a_o equality_n and_o therefore_o my_o last_o request_n and_o charge_n be_v that_o you_o will_v live_v together_o in_o a_o undivided_a bond_n of_o love_n you_o be_v many_o of_o you_o and_o if_o you_o join_v together_o as_o one_o man_n you_o need_v not_o want_v any_o thing_n what_o counsel_n what_o comfort_n what_o money_n what_o friend_n may_v you_o not_o help_v yourselves_o unto_o if_o you_o will_v contribute_v your_o aide_n wherefore_o my_o dear_a child_n i_o pray_v beseech_v command_n adjure_v you_o by_o all_o the_o relation_n and_o dearness_n that_o have_v ever_o be_v betwixt_o we_o that_o you_o know_v one_o another_o visit_n as_o you_o may_v each_o other_o comfort_n counsel_n relieve_v succour_n help_v admonish_v one_o another_o whilst_o your_o mother_n live_v meet_v there_o if_o possible_a yearly_a when_o she_o be_v dead_a pitch_n upon_o some_o other_o place_n if_o it_o may_v be_v your_o elder_a brother_n house_n or_o if_o you_o can_v meet_v yet_o send_v to_o and_o hear_v from_o one_o another_o yearly_a and_o when_o you_o have_v neither_o father_n nor_o mother_n be_v so_o many_o father_n and_o mother_n each_o to_o other_o so_o you_o shall_v understand_v the_o blessing_n mention_v psal._n 133._o for_o your_o estate_n be_v not_o trouble_v that_o you_o be_v below_o your_o kindred_n get_v more_o wisdom_n humility_n goodness_n and_o you_o be_v above_o they_o only_o this_o do_v 1._o study_v work_n more_o than_o wage_n 2._o deal_v with_o your_o heart_n to_o make_v they_o less_o 3._o begin_v below_o 4._o join_v together_o to_o help_v one_o another_o 5._o rest_v upon_o the_o promise_n which_o be_v many_o and_o precious_a this_o way_n 6._o sow_v mercy_n take_v of_o your_o mother_n to_o this_o end_n a_o piece_n give_v that_o in_o work_n of_o mercy_n and_o if_o all_o other_o mean_n fail_v you_o that_o shall_v maintain_v you_o i_o know_v i_o know_v i_o say_v and_o i_o be_o confident_a in_o it_o that_o if_o you_o will_v be_v humble_v for_o my_o barrenness_n and_o will_v trust_v god_n in_o his_o own_o way_n he_o will_v make_v comfortable_a 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jew_n in_o that_o triumphant_a flame_n of_o light_n and_o zeal_n wherein_o he_o do_v before_o without_o death_n help_n up_o into_o glory_n soar_v and_o by_o this_o transmigration_n of_o his_o grace_n prepare_a path_n before_o his_o master_n face_n even_o so_o in_o thou_o bless_a soul_n do_v breathe_v anew_o great_a chrysostom_n yea_o great_a apollos_n too_o to_o thou_o those_o mighty_a orator_n do_v give_v their_o tongue_n to_o speak_v to_o thou_o their_o life_n to_o live_v nay_o thou_o thyself_o do_v in_o thyself_o renew_v thy_o fort'y_n vigour_n in_o fourscore_o we_o know_v when_o all_o thy_o strength_n decay_v thy_o gift_n do_v thrive_v the_o man_n be_v dead_a the_o preacher_n still_o alive_a alive_a in_o his_o own_o sermon_n in_o our_o love_n his_o name_n alive_a below_o his_o soul_n above_o and_o may_v the_o young_a prophet_n still_o inherit_v a_o double_a portion_n of_o their_o father_n spirit_n that_o by_o a_o sacred_a metempsychosis_n the_o gift_n may_v now_o be_v they_o which_o once_o be_v he_o that_o every_o sermon_n which_o we_o hear_v may_v be_v rare_a preacher_n a_o true_a pourtracture_n of_o thou_o yea_o may_v it_o of_o each_o follow_a age_n be_v true_a the_o former_a be_v exceed_v by_o the_o new_a vision_n of_o young_a surpass_v old_a prophet_n dream_n the_o father_n light_n be_v outshine_v by_o child_n beam_n that_o in_o their_o measure_n we_o may_v more_o and_o more_o th'unmeasured_a fullness_n of_o our_o lord_n adore_v e._n reyner_n the_o second_o part_n contain_v the_o life_n of_o gustavus_n ericson_n king_n of_o sueden_n who_o be_v the_o first_o reformer_n of_o religion_n in_o that_o kingdom_n as_o also_o of_o divers_a other_o christian_n who_o be_v eminent_a for_o prudence_n and_o piety_n we_o desire_v that_o every_o one_o of_o you_o do_v show_v the_o same_o diligence_n to_o the_o full_a assurance_n of_o hope_n unto_o the_o end_n that_o you_o be_v not_o slothful_a but_o follower_n of_o they_o who_o through_o faith_n and_o patience_n 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thereof_o it_o be_v true_a he_o have_v a_o advantage_n above_o many_o in_o his_o natural_a constitution_n and_o its_o influence_n from_o his_o education_n heighten_v intellectual_n and_o morality_n be_v not_o inconsiderable_a but_o that_o which_o give_v the_o be_v of_o meekness_n which_o sanctify_v and_o perfect_v all_o be_v the_o grace_n of_o christ._n he_o be_v of_o a_o acute_a apprehension_n and_o therefore_o sensible_a of_o but_o yet_o so_o little_a in_o his_o own_o sight_n that_o he_o be_v not_o easy_o provoke_v by_o a_o injury_n sensibleness_n of_o dishonour_n do_v to_o god_n by_o sin_n or_o of_o what_o the_o offender_n have_v do_v unto_o himself_o by_o sin_v leave_v such_o impression_n upon_o he_o as_o that_o his_o take_a notice_n of_o any_o injury_n do_v unto_o himself_o be_v not_o usual_o take_v notice_n of_o he_o have_v well_o learned_a that_o lesson_n of_o gregory_n it_o be_v better_a many_o time_n to_o fly_v from_o a_o injury_n by_o silence_n than_o to_o overcome_v it_o 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slow_a to_o see_v their_o wind_n and_o subtle_a contrivance_n and_o insinuation_n in_o all_o their_o transaction_n whilst_o they_o propagate_v their_o opinion_n under_o my_o expression_n divert_v to_o their_o construction_n yea_o such_o be_v his_o ingenuity_n and_o piety_n as_o that_o his_o soul_n be_v not_o satisfy_v without_o often_o break_v forth_o into_o affectionate_a bewail_v of_o his_o infirmity_n herein_o in_o the_o public_a assembly_n sometime_o in_o his_o prayer_n sometime_o in_o his_o sermon_n and_o that_o with_o tear_n he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o a_o ingenuous_a and_o pious_a candour_n candour_n rejoice_v as_o opportunity_n be_v offer_v to_o take_v notice_n of_o and_o to_o bear_v witness_n to_o the_o gift_n of_o god_n in_o his_o brethren_n thereby_o draw_v the_o heart_n of_o they_o to_o he_o and_o of_o other_o to_o they_o and_o that_o to_o the_o encouragement_n of_o they_o and_o the_o edification_n of_o many_o he_o do_v not_o think_v himself_o a_o loser_n by_o put_v honour_n 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who_o profession_n give_v many_o cause_n to_o bless_v god_n for_o the_o kindness_n of_o the_o lord_n show_v unto_o all_o sort_n by_o he_o hospitality_n his_o portion_n in_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o life_n exempt_v he_o from_o be_v a_o object_n of_o envy_n in_o that_o behalf_n yet_o behold_v quantum_fw-la ex_fw-la quantillo_fw-la so_o much_o communicate_v out_o of_o so_o little_a we_o may_v not_o here_o be_v altogether_o silent_a concern_v the_o grace_n of_o god_n bestow_v upon_o he_o whereby_o according_a to_o his_o power_n yea_o above_o his_o power_n he_o be_v benificent_a unto_o other_o but_o especial_o to_o those_o of_o the_o household_n of_o faith_n the_o gospel_n open_v his_o heart_n his_o lip_n and_o the_o door_n of_o his_o house_n he_o well_o remember_v that_o scripture_n there_o be_v that_o scatter_v and_o yet_o increase_v and_o there_o be_v that_o withhold_v more_o than_o be_v meet_v but_o it_o tend_v to_o poverty_n as_o also_o the_o liberal_a soul_n shall_v be_v make_v fat_a 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speak_v come_v to_o he_o in_o private_a and_o ask_v he_o whether_o he_o mean_v this_o of_o the_o ministry_n of_o england_n as_o now_o constitute_v he_o return_v he_o this_o answer_n although_o i_o will_v not_o justify_v the_o call_n of_o every_o individual_a minister_n in_o the_o church_n of_o england_n as_o you_o dare_v not_o justify_v the_o saintship_n of_o every_o member_n in_o your_o independent_a congregation_n yet_o i_o will_v be_v ready_a when_o and_o where_o you_o please_v to_o maintain_v the_o office_n and_o call_v of_o england_n ministry_n at_o this_o day_n and_o that_o he_o continue_v unmoved_a ministry_n and_o unchanged_a in_o his_o judgement_n and_o esteem_v of_o the_o ministerial_a call_v to_o the_o last_o may_v be_v manifest_v by_o this_o passage_n in_o his_o last_o will_n and_o testament_n which_o be_v here_o set_v down_o in_o his_o own_o word_n and_o write_v with_o his_o own_o hand_n for_o my_o son_n jeremiah_n my_o desire_n be_v that_o he_o be_v breed_v a_o scholar_n and_o that_o the_o lord_n will_v spiritual_o incline_v his_o heart_n free_o to_o give_v up_o himself_o to_o the_o lord_n to_o serve_v he_o in_o the_o work_n of_o the_o ministry_n which_o call_v and_o employment_n though_o now_o despise_v i_o do_v esteem_n above_o all_o other_o in_o the_o world_n and_o do_v commend_v it_o to_o all_o mine_n that_o if_o the_o lord_n bless_v they_o with_o son_n they_o will_v commend_v this_o call_v to_o their_o posterity_n and_o true_o this_o deserve_v serious_o to_o be_v consider_v whether_o there_o be_v not_o herein_o much_o to_o credit_v and_o encourage_v the_o ministry_n of_o the_o gospel_n that_o a_o learned_a man_n and_o so_o eminent_a for_o piety_n who_o also_o have_v thorough_o study_v the_o controversy_n of_o the_o time_n and_o have_v hear_v and_o read_v what_o can_v be_v say_v against_o the_o ministry_n shall_v yet_o upon_o his_o deathbed_n give_v such_o a_o testimony_n unto_o it_o when_o he_o daily_o expect_v to_o make_v up_o his_o account_n 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such_o a_o ministry_n not_o only_o by_o his_o assent_n to_o it_o but_o also_o by_o his_o assistance_n in_o draw_v it_o up_o as_o mr._n whitaker_n love_v god_n dear_o he_o so_o god_n love_v he_o which_o he_o manifest_v by_o those_o grace_n wherewithal_o he_o enrich_v he_o and_o true_o love_v token_n be_v real_a messenger_n of_o his_o love_n that_o send_v they_o and_o what_o sure_a sign_n can_v we_o have_v of_o god_n love_n then_o when_o he_o bestow_v upon_o we_o the_o grace_n of_o his_o holy_a spirit_n now_o of_o these_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v he_o a_o more_o than_o ordinary_a measure_n and_o beside_o what_o have_v be_v say_v before_o there_o be_v five_o grace_n more_o which_o be_v very_o orient_a and_o shine_v in_o his_o crown_n 1._o his_o tenderness_n of_o heart_n tender-heartedness_n who_o ever_o know_v a_o man_n of_o a_o more_o melt_a frame_n of_o heart_n before_o god_n whether_o in_o confession_n petition_n or_o thanksgiving_n be_v there_o any_o one_o live_v that_o can_v say_v that_o i_o have_v at_o sometime_o join_v with_o he_o in_o prayer_n and_o he_o shed_v no_o tear_n how_o do_v his_o own_o sinfulness_n though_o it_o be_v no_o more_o than_o the_o ordinary_a imperfection_n of_o the_o fair_a saint_n upon_o earth_n the_o evil_n of_o the_o time_n and_o the_o testimony_n of_o god_n displeasure_n break_v out_o upon_o we_o break_v his_o heart_n into_o piece_n we_o may_v true_o believe_v that_o for_o the_o space_n many_o year_n he_o do_v never_o come_v off_o from_o the_o serious_a consideration_n of_o these_o thing_n with_o dry_a eye_n and_o how_o many_o thousand_o be_v there_o of_o god_n child_n that_o will_v account_v it_o a_o sign_n of_o much_o love_n from_o christ_n if_o they_o can_v find_v such_o thawing_n in_o their_o freeze_a breast_n 2._o his_o meekness_n of_o spirit_n with_o which_o precious_a jewel_n he_o be_v rich_o adorn_v meekness_n who_o ever_o see_v he_o transport_v by_o passion_n on_o a_o fire_n through_o foolish_a anger_n or_o disguse_v by_o discontent_n though_o his_o zeal_n will_v wax_v hot_a and_o burn_v in_o he_o for_o god_n and_o his_o glory_n yet_o he_o be_v a_o man_n of_o a_o cool_a spirit_n and_o meek_a like_a moses_n in_o all_o his_o own_o concernment_n and_o this_o he_o have_v often_o manifest_v in_o a_o remarkable_a manner_n when_o dispute_v with_o man_n of_o dissent_v principle_n and_o opinion_n yet_o his_o spirit_n be_v so_o even_o that_o their_o unhandsome_a provocation_n can_v not_o discompose_v he_o and_o drive_v he_o into_o passion_n 3._o for_o his_o patience_n patience_n he_o may_v well_o be_v call_v a_o second_o job_n many_o who_o see_v he_o under_o those_o rack_a pain_n in_o his_o last_o sickness_n so_o frequent_o reiterated_a and_o so_o long_o continue_v be_v confident_a that_o god_n do_v put_v he_o and_o keep_v he_o in_o his_o furnace_n to_o be_v a_o pattern_n of_o patience_n unto_o posterity_n it_o be_v confess_v that_o he_o do_v roar_v many_o time_n till_o his_o throat_n be_v dry_a but_o who_o ever_o hear_v he_o speak_v any_o one_o word_n of_o murmur_a or_o discontent_a because_o of_o god_n afflict_v providence_n he_o himself_o indeed_o will_v sometime_o through_o tenderness_n of_o conscience_n charge_v himself_o of_o impatiency_n because_o he_o make_v a_o noise_n in_o his_o extremity_n but_o that_o express_v only_a nature_n sensibleness_n not_o sinful_a forwardness_n and_o when_o accuse_v himself_o causeless_o he_o be_v mind_v of_o christ_n roar_n yet_o free_a from_o all_o sin_n he_o will_v be_v silent_a i_o confess_v indeed_o that_o in_o his_o desire_n to_o be_v dissolve_v he_o will_v take_v up_o job_n complaint_n wherefore_o be_v light_n give_v to_o he_o that_o be_v in_o misery_n and_o life_n unto_o the_o bitter_a in_o soul_n which_o long_o for_o death_n but_o it_o come_v not_o and_o dig_v for_o it_o more_o than_o for_o hide_a treasure_n etc._n etc._n for_o my_o sigh_v come_v before_o i_o eat_v and_o my_o roar_n be_v pour_v out_o like_o water_n job_n 3._o 20_o 24._o but_o he_o always_o conclude_v with_o submission_n to_o the_o good_a pleasure_n of_o god_n when_o he_o have_v be_v ask_v how_o he_o do_v this_o be_v frequent_o his_o answer_n the_o bush_n always_o burn_v but_o not_o consume_v and_o though_o my_o pain_n be_v above_o the_o strength_n of_o nature_n yet_o they_o be_v not_o above_o the_o support_v of_o grace_n 4._o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o vouchsafe_v he_o such_o a_o measure_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n and_o supplication_n prayer_n that_o his_o soul_n be_v never_o out_o of_o tune_n for_o that_o service_n most_o of_o his_o word_n when_o he_o be_v under_o torment_n be_v holy_a complaint_n and_o prayer_n to_o god_n it_o will_v not_o be_v impertinent_a or_o unprofitable_a if_o i_o here_o set_v down_o some_o of_o they_o o_o my_o god_n help_n father_n of_o mercy_n pity_n do_v not_o contend_v for_o ever_o consider_v my_o frame_n that_o i_o be_o but_o dust_n my_o god_n that_o have_v make_v heaven_n and_o earth_n help_v i_o oh_o give_v i_o patience_n and_o inflict_v what_o thou_o wiâ—t_v if_o my_o patience_n be_v more_o my_o pain_n will_v be_v less_o dear_a saviour_n where_o be_v thy_o bowel_n why_o do_v thou_o make_v i_o a_o astonishment_n to_o myself_o and_o other_o why_o do_v thou_o cover_v thyself_o with_o a_o thick_a cloud_n that_o our_o prayer_n can_v pass_v bless_a be_v the_o man_n that_o endure_v temptation_n lord_n this_o be_v a_o sad_a temptation_n stand_v by_o i_o and_o say_v it_o be_v enough_o be_o i_o not_o thy_o servant_n consider_v lord_n that_o i_o be_o thy_o servant_n o_o these_o bitter_a water_n of_o marah_n lord_n drop_v sweet_a comfort_n into_o these_o bitter_a water_n of_o marah_n o_o the_o blood_n of_o sprinkle_v lord_n the_o blood_n of_o sprinkle_v lord_n that_o
of_o the_o hearer_n so_o that_o it_o may_v well_o be_v say_v of_o he_o as_o the_o queen_n of_o sheba_n say_v to_o solomon_n happy_a be_v these_o thy_o servant_n that_o stand_v continual_o about_o thou_o and_o hear_v thy_o wisdom_n and_o such_o be_v his_o humility_n withal_o as_o that_o he_o will_v in_o practical_a subject_n apply_v himself_o to_o the_o capacity_n of_o the_o poor_a and_o weak_a christian_a that_o come_v to_o he_o for_o information_n and_o satisfaction_n of_o their_o doubt_n humility_n nay_o some_o time_n he_o be_v more_o propense_a to_o communicate_v himself_o to_o such_o than_o to_o other_o that_o be_v more_o learned_a which_o stranger_n have_v wonder_v at_o as_o the_o disciple_n marvel_v at_o our_o saviour_n talk_v with_o the_o poor_a woman_n of_o samaria_n joh._n 4._o 27._o and_o answer_v her_o question_n rather_o than_o take_v notice_n of_o they_o indeed_o he_o be_v a_o mirror_n of_o humility_n for_o though_o he_o be_v high_a than_o any_o other_o from_o the_o shoulder_n upward_o yet_o may_v many_o of_o his_o inferior_n learn_v humility_n of_o he_o as_o may_v appear_v in_o these_o few_o among_o many_o other_o example_n 1_o in_o his_o public_a preach_n no_o man_n more_o deny_v himself_o to_o preach_v christ_n it_o insomuch_o as_o some_o that_o affect_v that_o frothy_a way_n of_o preach_v by_o strong_a line_n as_o they_o call_v they_o be_v much_o ashamed_a after_o they_o have_v hear_v he_o preach_v in_o oxford_n wherein_o he_o reprove_v and_o decry_v the_o corinthian_a vanity_n in_o this_o kind_n also_o in_o one_o passage_n of_o he_o at_o the_o court_n before_o the_o king_n he_o teach_v the_o bishop_n and_o doctor_n that_o then_o hear_v he_o thus_o great_a scholar_n say_v he_o possible_o may_v think_v that_o it_o stand_v not_o with_o their_o credit_n and_o reputation_n to_o stoop_v so_o low_a etc._n etc._n but_o let_v the_o learnede_a of_o we_o all_o try_v it_o when_o we_o will_v and_o we_o shall_v find_v that_o to_o lay_v this_o ground_n work_v right_a that_o be_v to_o apply_v ourselves_o to_o the_o capacity_n of_o a_o common_a auditory_a and_o to_o make_v a_o ignorant_a man_n to_o understand_v these_o mystery_n in_o some_o good_a measure_n will_v put_v we_o to_o the_o trial_n of_o our_o skill_n and_o will_v trouble_v we_o a_o great_a deal_n morâ—_n than_o if_o we_o be_v to_o discuss_v a_o controversy_n or_o handle_v a_o subtle_a point_n of_o learning_n in_o the_o school_n he_o be_v indeed_o another_o paul_n who_o determine_v to_o know_v nothing_o but_o christ_n and_o he_o crucify_v neither_o be_v his_o speech_n or_o preach_v with_o the_o entice_a word_n of_o man_n wisdom_n but_o in_o the_o demonstration_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o of_o power_n 1_o cor._n 2._o 2_o 4._o 2._o in_o his_o private_a conversation_n he_o frame_v himself_o to_o the_o capacity_n of_o the_o mean_a that_o converse_v with_o he_o he_o have_v a_o excellent_a gift_n of_o express_v himself_o both_o in_o latin_a and_o english_a and_o as_o he_o can_v sore_o with_o the_o eagle_n in_o polemic_a discourse_n when_o he_o meet_v with_o giant_n so_o he_o will_v stoop_v to_o the_o low_a pigmy_n in_o practical_a subject_n and_o will_v apply_v himself_o to_o the_o poor_a and_o weak_a christian_n he_o be_v no_o dictator_n nor_o will_v impose_v upon_o other_o man_n judgement_n or_o conscience_n but_o be_v as_o ready_a to_o receive_v from_o other_o as_o to_o impart_v to_o they_o and_o will_v much_o incline_v to_o vulgar_a christian_n rather_o than_o unto_o other_o that_o be_v more_o learned_a 3._o in_o his_o demeanour_n and_o behaviour_n he_o have_v high_a thought_n of_o other_o and_o as_o low_a of_o himself_o and_o that_o in_o every_o condition_n of_o his_o life_n both_o in_o prosperity_n and_o adversity_n godly_a person_n of_o what_o rank_n soever_o have_v great_a power_n with_o he_o he_o will_v put_v they_o in_o his_o bosom_n visit_v thâ—m_n in_o their_o sickness_n supply_v their_o want_n beg_v their_o prayer_n and_o countenance_v their_o cause_n and_o person_n in_o his_o passage_n for_o ireland_n he_o sometime_o lay_v at_o nâ—sson_n for_o wind_n where_o sundry_a time_n he_o preach_v to_o a_o plain_a country_n auditory_a and_o whereas_o there_o be_v in_o that_o part_n of_o the_o country_n where_o i_o live_v about_o five_o year_n when_o i_o first_o begin_v my_o ministry_n divers_a plain_a christian_n which_o be_v never_o call_v but_o by_o their_o christian_a name_n yet_o indeed_o be_v such_o as_o have_v not_o a_o bare_a form_n but_o the_o life_n and_o power_n of_o godliness_n in_o they_o so_o that_o i_o be_v never_o acquaint_v with_o more_o know_v christian_n for_o man_n and_o woman_n of_o their_o rank_n these_o he_o grow_v into_o familiar_a acquaintance_n with_o will_v entertain_v they_o in_o his_o chamber_n discourse_n with_o they_o answer_v their_o question_n and_o satisfy_v their_o doubt_n and_o when_o he_o be_v make_v archbishop_n some_o of_o they_o tell_v he_o that_o now_o they_o must_v know_v their_o distance_n and_o dare_v not_o be_v so_o familiar_a with_o he_o as_o former_o to_o who_o he_o answer_v that_o he_o be_v the_o same_o man_n still_o and_o they_o shall_v be_v as_o welcome_a to_o he_o as_o former_o and_o according_o use_v the_o same_o familiarity_n with_o they_o as_o he_o have_v wont_a to_o do_v and_o when_o he_o lie_v at_o chester_n he_o will_v as_o soon_o preach_v at_o the_o request_n of_o mr._n ashbrook_n and_o mrs._n kirkman_n a_o godly_a woman_n of_o the_o mean_a rank_n who_o i_o well_o know_v as_o at_o the_o entreaty_n of_o the_o mayor_n and_o alderman_n of_o that_o city_n whereby_o he_o demonstrate_v 63._o that_o his_o delight_n be_v in_o the_o saint_n and_o that_o he_o be_v a_o companion_n of_o all_o they_o that_o fear_v god_n and_o this_o indeed_o be_v one_o reason_n that_o he_o rise_v so_o high_a he_o honour_v god_n and_o therefore_o god_n honour_v he_o 1_o sam._n 2._o 30._o whilst_o i_o live_v in_o warwickshire_n not_o much_o before_o the_o long_a parliament_n begin_v myself_o with_o two_o other_o neighbour_n minister_n make_v a_o journey_n to_o oxford_n where_o he_o then_o be_v on_o purpose_n to_o desire_v his_o judgement_n in_o some_o case_n wherein_o we_o can_v not_o so_o well_o satisfy_v ourselves_o we_o find_v he_o at_o his_o lodging_n in_o christ_n church_n where_o before_o he_o will_v admit_v any_o speech_n with_o we_o he_o cause_v we_o to_o put_v on_o our_o hat_n to_o sit_v down_o by_o he_o and_o then_o to_o speak_v our_o mind_n when_o i_o tell_v he_o that_o we_o be_v come_v to_o request_v his_o judgement_n in_o some_o difficulty_n he_o present_o stop_v i_o say_v mr._n clarke_n i_o shall_v free_o tell_v you_o my_o judgement_n in_o any_o thing_n but_o about_o the_o et_fw-la cetera_fw-la oath_n concern_v which_o i_o do_v speak_v occasional_o declare_v my_o mind_n about_o it_o and_o i_o have_v new_o receive_v a_o letter_n from_o two_o doctor_n who_o name_n i_o forbear_v to_o insert_v out_o of_o respect_n to_o they_o who_o take_v i_o up_o as_o 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without_o any_o grain_n of_o allowance_n either_o for_o his_o age_n or_o discontinuance_n indeed_o his_o chief_a learning_n lie_v where_o he_o make_v least_o show_v of_o it_o in_o public_a viz._n in_o chronology_n church-history_n council_n case-divinity_n and_o his_o insight_n into_o the_o father_n prayer_n but_o his_o part_n be_v best_o see_v in_o the_o pulpit_n his_o gift_n in_o prayer_n be_v much_o more_o than_o ordinary_a wherein_o his_o affection_n be_v warm_a and_o fervent_a his_o petition_n pithy_a and_o substantial_a his_o language_n pertinent_a unaffected_a and_o without_o tautology_n oh_o how_o will_v he_o raise_v up_o a_o dull_a and_o sink_a spirit_n how_o will_v he_o warm_v a_o cold_a and_o freeze_a heart_n how_o will_v he_o carry_v a_o man_n out_o of_o himself_o and_o by_o degree_n mount_v the_o soul_n heaven-ward_n his_o sermon_n in_o print_n be_v well_o know_v to_o the_o world_n preacher_n and_o his_o work_n praise_v he_o in_o the_o gate_n the_o particular_a 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acknowledge_v a_o excellency_n in_o they_o among_o other_o his_o excellency_n in_o preach_v which_o be_v many_o these_o be_v not_o the_o least_o that_o he_o can_v so_o cook_n his_o meat_n that_o he_o can_v make_v it_o relish_v to_o every_o pallate_n he_o can_v dress_v a_o plain_a discourse_n so_o as_o that_o all_o sort_n shall_v be_v delight_v with_o it_o he_o can_v preach_v with_o a_o learned_a plaineness_n and_o have_v learned_a to_o conceal_v his_o art_n he_o have_v clear_a notion_n of_o high_a mystery_n and_o proper_a language_n to_o make_v they_o stoop_v to_o the_o mean_a capacity_n his_o way_n in_o contrive_v and_o pen_v his_o sermon_n be_v this_o preach_v 1._o he_o so_o contrive_v the_o part_n of_o his_o text_n and_o point_n of_o doctrine_n as_o may_v afford_v he_o most_o scope_n in_o his_o application_n wherein_o his_o and_o indeed_o a_o sermon_n excellency_n do_v consist_v and_o therefore_o he_o use_v to_o say_v that_o in_o a_o sermon_n he_o contrive_v the_o uses_n first_o 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tear_n put_v her_o prayer_n to_o a_o pause_n when_o the_o heart_n be_v full_a of_o love_n the_o mouth_n be_v fill_v with_o praise_n of_o a_o person_n most_o deserve_o speech_n and_o most_o dear_o belove_v whereof_o we_o have_v a_o example_n in_o this_o virtuous_a gentlewoman_n who_o when_o time_n company_n and_o occasion_n do_v invite_v she_o to_o communicate_v to_o other_o the_o good_a matter_n which_o her_o heart_n have_v indict_v of_o god_n she_o use_v her_o tongue_n as_o the_o pen_n of_o a_o ready_a writer_n psal._n 45._o 1._o and_o when_o she_o have_v that_o great_a king_n for_o the_o subject_n of_o her_o speech_n she_o speak_v of_o he_o with_o such_o hearty_a and_o savoury_a relish_v of_o sacred_a delight_n and_o reverence_n and_o with_o such_o a_o affectionate_a force_n as_o if_o her_o soul_n be_v ready_a to_o leap_v out_o at_o her_o lip_n into_o the_o ear_n of_o other_o to_o kindle_v the_o same_o holy_a fire_n in_o their_o heart_n who_o hear_v she_o which_o burn_v in_o she_o 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great_a god_n insomuch_o as_o all_o the_o acceptation_n which_o she_o desire_v of_o he_o be_v but_o to_o pardon_v her_o presumption_n as_o the_o error_n of_o her_o love_n for_o take_v upon_o she_o to_o speak_v of_o his_o excellency_n and_o the_o weakness_n of_o her_o spirit_n and_o speech_n which_o make_v she_o fall_v infinite_o short_a of_o do_v he_o right_o in_o the_o publication_n of_o his_o praise_n another_o evidence_n of_o her_o dear_a affection_n unto_o god_n child_n be_v the_o great_a love_n which_o for_o his_o sake_n she_o bear_v to_o who_o or_o whatsoever_o have_v any_o near_a relation_n to_o he_o according_a to_o that_o 1_o joh._n 4._o 21._o he_o that_o love_v god_n must_v love_v his_o brother_n also_o and_o he_o must_v love_v he_o rather_o in_o a_o direct_a than_o in_o a_o collateral_a line_n as_o god_n child_n rather_o than_o as_o his_o brother_n more_o for_o god_n sake_n than_o for_o his_o own_o the_o dear_a degree_n of_o love_n belong_v to_o those_o person_n and_o thing_n which_o be_v near_a to_o he_o and_o to_o such_o she_o bear_v a_o sincere_a and_o singular_a good_a will_n as_o to_o his_o saint_n with_o david_n psal._n 16._o 3._o and_o to_o his_o true_a religion_n and_o worship_n both_o at_o home_n and_o abroad_o the_o happy_a progress_n and_o prosperity_n whereof_o be_v with_o she_o as_o jerusalem_n with_o david_n prefer_v above_o her_o chief_a joy_n christ._n psal._n 137._o 6._o and_o it_o be_v a_o great_a affliction_n to_o her_o heart_n to_o hear_v any_o ill_a tiding_n of_o any_o good_a man_n or_o any_o good_a cause_n she_o high_o prize_v god_n word_n and_o in_o the_o bless_a sacrament_n of_o the_o lord_n supper_n sacrament_n she_o feel_v such_o a_o sweet_a refresh_v as_o may_v make_v amends_o for_o the_o severity_n of_o her_o frequent_a fast_n so_o that_o for_o her_o part_n and_o portion_n of_o it_o in_o respect_n of_o the_o common_a sort_n of_o communicant_n she_o may_v say_v i_o have_v meat_n that_o you_o know_v not_o of_o joh._n 4._o 32._o dainty_n which_o infinite_o exceed_v whatsoever_o delight_v or_o please_v a_o sensual_a pallate_n for_o the_o house_n of_o god_n she_o show_v herself_o just_a of_o david_n mind_n when_o she_o say_v i_o have_v love_v the_o habitation_n of_o thy_o house_n the_o place_n where_o thy_o honour_n dwell_v psal._n 26._o 8._o and_o how_o amiable_a be_v thy_o tabernacle_n o_o lord_n of_o host_n my_o soul_n long_v yea_o even_o faint_v for_o the_o court_n of_o the_o lord_n psal._n 84._o 1_o 2._o if_o by_o any_o imperious_a impediment_n she_o be_v keep_v from_o the_o church_n as_o by_o sickness_n in_o her_o body_n god_n etc._n etc._n her_o soul_n be_v love-sick_a by_o her_o long_n to_o be_v there_o and_o whereas_o many_o woman_n take_v a_o little_a occasion_n to_o absent_v themselves_o from_o it_o she_o will_v many_o time_n force_v her_o feeble_a body_n to_o carry_v her_o soul_n to_o the_o sanctuary_n though_o the_o day_n before_o she_o be_v confine_v not_o only_o to_o her_o chamber_n but_o 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widowhood_n and_o to_o rest_v in_o that_o condition_n wherein_o she_o may_v best_o attend_v upon_o the_o service_n of_o god_n indeed_o her_o love_n and_o delight_n in_o communion_n with_o god_n fast_n make_v her_o mindeless_a of_o meat_n and_o careless_a of_o provision_n for_o the_o flesh_n well_o she_o know_v that_o though_o fast_v make_v the_o body_n weak_a as_o david_n say_v my_o knee_n be_v weak_a through_o fast_v and_o my_o flesh_n fail_v of_o fatness_n psal._n 109._o 20._o yet_o it_o strengthen_v the_o spirit_n and_o make_v it_o vigorous_a in_o conflict_n and_o victorious_a in_o the_o event_n yea_o fast_a and_o prayer_n make_v a_o potent_a combination_n which_o be_v able_a to_o drive_v the_o strong_a devil_n out_o of_o his_o usurp_a possession_n as_o matth._n 17._o 21._o these_o two_o she_o use_v not_o only_o as_o weapon_n against_o the_o devil_n but_o as_o wing_n to_o elevate_v her_o soul_n god-ward_o and_o heaven-ward_n yet_o herein_o be_v she_o observant_a of_o our_o saviour_n rule_n mat._n 17._o 18._o that_o she_o fast_v without_o a_o appearance_n of_o fast_v only_o the_o next_o day_n it_o may_v be_v discern_v by_o her_o faintness_n she_o have_v spend_v her_o spirit_n in_o spiritual_a exercise_n the_o day_n before_o for_o those_o sport_n and_o pastime_n wherein_o former_o she_o have_v take_v too_o much_o contentment_n sport_n she_o not_o only_o abstain_v from_o they_o but_o much_o complain_v of_o her_o vanity_n in_o they_o her_o eye_n which_o before_o be_v use_v to_o behold_v they_o with_o delight_n now_o shed_v tear_n of_o shame_n and_o sorrow_n that_o former_o she_o have_v set_v her_o mind_n so_o much_o upon_o they_o and_o now_o she_o employ_v they_o in_o the_o more_o frequent_a and_o affectionate_a read_n of_o the_o holy_a scripture_n wherein_o she_o take_v more_o delight_n than_o she_o have_v do_v before_o in_o the_o most_o pompous_a spectacle_n set_v out_o to_o take_v the_o eye_n with_o gaze_v and_o the_o mind_n with_o wonder_n and_o as_o for_o marriage_n her_o heart_n be_v so_o devote_v to_o her_o lord_n christ_n marriage_n that_o though_o she_o have_v divers_a fair_a invitation_n to_o it_o by_o such_o as_o both_o for_o profit_n and_o credit_n and_o other_o considerable_a respect_n be_v worthy_a rather_o to_o be_v desire_v than_o deny_v yet_o she_o resolve_v not_o to_o change_v her_o condition_n in_o that_o kind_n and_o that_o not_o only_o in_o love_n and_o loyalty_n to_o her_o former_a husband_n but_o that_o she_o may_v be_v more_o free_a to_o serve_v god_n according_a to_o that_o of_o st._n paul_n 1_o cor._n 7._o 34._o the_o unmarried_a woman_n care_v for_o the_o thing_n of_o the_o lord_n that_o she_o may_v be_v holy_a both_o in_o body_n and_o spirit_n but_o she_o that_o be_v marry_v care_v for_o the_o thing_n
into_o that_o better_a world_n which_o she_o so_o much_o long_v after_o often_o profess_v that_o there_o be_v nothing_o that_o can_v tempt_v she_o to_o wish_v for_o life_n but_o the_o breed_n up_o of_o her_o little_a one_o which_o yet_o now_o she_o be_v the_o less_o solicitous_a about_o because_o she_o can_v leave_v they_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o their_o tender_a and_o careful_a father_n not_o doubt_v as_o old_a die_a jacob_n say_v when_o he_o be_v blessing_n the_o two_o son_n of_o joseph_n gen._n 48._o 15._o 16._o that_o that_o god_n which_o have_v feed_v she_o all_o her_o life_n long_o until_o that_o day_n and_o the_o angel_n which_o have_v redeem_v she_o from_o all_o evil_a will_v bless_v they_o and_o now_o find_v herself_o arrest_v by_o the_o messenger_n of_o death_n and_o her_o body_n like_o the_o house_n of_o saul_n grow_v weak_a and_o weak_a but_o her_o soul_n like_o the_o house_n of_o david_n wax_v strong_a and_o strong_a take_v high_a flight_n and_o make_v near_a approach_n to_o god_n that_o give_v it_o when_o her_o husband_n come_v to_o she_o as_o he_o do_v frequent_o he_o continual_o admonish_v and_o mind_v she_o of_o the_o gracious_a promise_n of_o mercy_n in_o christ_n and_o of_o faith_n in_o he_o and_o desire_v she_o to_o be_v strengthen_v and_o comfort_v in_o they_o her_o answer_n be_v she_o be_v comfort_v in_o they_o comfort_n she_o find_v the_o comfort_n of_o god_n spirit_n in_o she_o and_o very_o believe_v she_o shall_v see_v the_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n in_o the_o land_n of_o the_o live_n psal._n 45._o 13._o ever_o and_o anon_o say_v i_o be_o comfort_v god_n spirit_n be_v in_o i_o which_o make_v i_o endure_v my_o sickness_n and_o more_o pain_n than_o you_o can_v think_v of_o so_o comfortable_o as_o i_o do_v when_o she_o know_v of_o none_o by_o her_o usual_a prayer_n be_v lord_n look_v down_o upon_o i_o in_o thy_o mercy_n lord_n forgive_v i_o my_o sin_n lord_n assist_v i_o with_o thy_o holy_a spirit_n lord_n thou_o have_v assure_v i_o of_o the_o forgiveness_n of_o my_o sin_n lord_n assist_v i_o still_o with_o thy_o holy_a spirit_n and_o many_o time_n pass_v the_o whole_a night_n without_o sleep_n she_o spend_v that_o time_n in_o these_o and_o the_o like_a heavenly_a prayer_n and_o ejaculation_n in_o which_o her_o husband_n and_o those_o which_o attend_v she_o continual_o still_o find_v she_o when_o they_o come_v to_o she_o never_o man_n have_v a_o more_o faithful_a wife_n dear_a and_o love_a wife_n or_o more_o careful_a of_o what_o concern_v he_o than_o himself_o and_o more_o tender_a of_o any_o thing_n say_v or_o do_v against_o he_o than_o if_o it_o have_v be_v say_v or_o do_v against_o herself_o and_o when_o he_o seem_v to_o lament_v the_o loss_n he_o shall_v have_v if_o god_n take_v she_o from_o he_o she_o meek_o answer_v we_o come_v not_o into_o the_o world_n together_o and_o therefore_o may_v not_o look_v to_o go_v out_o together_o when_o he_o reply_v that_o it_o will_v be_v much_o better_a for_o their_o child_n if_o he_o go_v first_o as_o by_o the_o course_n of_o nature_n be_v most_o likely_a she_o say_v that_o he_o can_v do_v much_o better_a for_o the_o child_n than_o she_o can_v and_o thank_v god_n for_o that_o she_o can_v now_o leave_v they_o with_o he_o for_o the_o space_n of_o three_o week_n she_o keep_v her_o bed_n and_o about_o a_o fortnight_n before_o her_o death_n be_v surprise_v with_o a_o faint_a fit_n in_o which_o she_o be_v like_a to_o depart_v and_o thereby_o perceive_v that_o earth_n will_v sudden_o return_v to_o the_o earth_n whence_o it_o come_v that_o her_o soul_n may_v be_v the_o better_a wing_a and_o prepare_v for_o a_o return_n to_o god_n that_o give_v it_o she_o desire_v that_o all_o the_o family_n may_v be_v call_v up_o and_o join_v in_o prayer_n with_o and_o for_o she_o at_o which_o time_n observe_v the_o grief_n and_o passion_n of_o her_o husband_n and_o those_o that_o be_v present_a express_v plentiful_o by_o tear_n from_o their_o eye_n she_o beseech_v he_o and_o they_o not_o to_o grieve_v and_o lament_v for_o her_o happiness_n about_o that_o time_n a_o reverend_a person_n come_v to_o visit_v her_o husband_n he_o solicit_v he_o to_o enlarge_v that_o great_a act_n of_o favour_n unto_o he_o by_o a_o great_a act_n of_o charity_n to_o his_o wife_n by_o visit_v she_o also_o who_o god_n now_o visit_v with_o sickness_n as_o also_o to_o pray_v with_o and_o administer_v some_o comfort_n unto_o she_o which_o he_o most_o willing_o condescend_v unto_o and_o have_v take_v a_o strict_a account_n of_o her_o faith_n in_o christ_n and_o hope_n of_o a_o better_a life_n he_o leave_v she_o with_o his_o fatherly_a benediction_n top_n full_a of_o comfort_n and_o when_o she_o be_v afterward_o tell_v that_o he_o come_v out_o of_o respect_n and_o kindness_n to_o visit_v her_o husband_n she_o say_v no_o but_o god_n have_v send_v he_o for_o her_o comfort_n often_o acknowledge_v the_o consolation_n which_o she_o have_v find_v by_o he_o when_o any_o come_v to_o visit_v she_o in_o the_o time_n of_o her_o sickness_n at_o the_o part_n she_o desire_v they_o to_o pray_v for_o she_o and_o often_o send_v messenger_n and_o cause_v letter_n to_o be_v direct_v to_o her_o friend_n in_o london_n to_o pray_v for_o she_o for_o that_o she_o be_v now_o prepare_v for_o another_o world_n when_o she_o be_v sometime_o desire_v for_o she_o child_n sake_n to_o cheer_v up_o herself_o faith_n her_o answer_n be_v that_o to_o leave_v they_o do_v not_o trouble_v she_o because_o she_o be_v assure_v that_o god_n will_v provide_v for_o they_o add_v that_o she_o will_v willing_o leave_v husband_n child_n and_o all_o to_o go_v to_o christ_n which_o be_v just_o the_o mind_n of_o that_o bless_a martyr_n ignatius_n befall_v i_o say_v he_o what_o will_v or_o can_v so_o i_o may_v enjoy_v jesus_n christ_n my_o love_n my_o life_n that_o be_v crucify_v for_o i_o or_o rather_o st._n paul_n case_n express_v in_o that_o most_o elegant_a barbarism_n phil._n 1._o 23._o desire_v to_o be_v with_o christ_n which_o be_v multo_fw-la magis_fw-la melius_fw-la much_o more_o better_a and_o now_o find_v the_o day_n of_o her_o life_n waste_v to_o the_o evening_n prayer_n and_o ready_a to_o die_v into_o night_n on_o the_o lord_n day_n before_o her_o death_n she_o desire_v the_o prayer_n of_o the_o congregation_n in_o the_o parish_n where_o she_o live_v be_v well_o assure_v as_o she_o say_v that_o many_o good_a people_n will_v pray_v hearty_o for_o she_o after_o which_o some_o come_n to_o visit_v she_o and_o exhort_v she_o to_o patience_n and_o to_o remember_v the_o affliction_n of_o job_n she_o answer_v that_o she_o have_v have_v her_o part_n in_o his_o affliction_n god_n have_v give_v her_o luctuosam_fw-la foecunditatem_fw-la affliction_n as_o st._n jerom_n say_v of_o laeta_n a_o sad_a and_o sorrowful_a fruitfulness_n take_v away_o seven_o of_o her_o child_n in_o their_o minority_n so_o that_o she_o as_o hanna_n speak_v in_o her_o song_n 1_o sam._n 2._o 5._o that_o have_v bear_v seven_o wax_v feeble_a yet_o she_o comfort_v herself_o with_o this_o hope_n that_o they_o be_v in_o heaven_n before_o she_o and_o hope_v that_o they_o will_v be_v lamp_n to_o lead_v she_o to_o heaven_n for_o she_o assure_v herself_o that_o they_o follow_v the_o lamb_n whithersoever_o he_o go_v and_o for_o those_o two_o which_o be_v yet_o alive_a she_o thank_v god_n for_o that_o she_o see_v no_o ill_a quality_n in_o they_o beside_o she_o say_v that_o god_n have_v take_v away_o her_o good_n from_o she_o but_o have_v give_v her_o patience_n which_o to_o she_o be_v of_o more_o value_n and_o she_o esteem_v it_o above_o they_o all_o know_v that_o god_n be_v able_a to_o restore_v all_o when_o he_o please_v she_o often_o acknowledge_v god_n goodness_n to_o she_o in_o send_v she_o a_o mild_a sickness_n and_o not_o take_v she_o away_o with_o some_o sudden_a stroke_n as_o he_o do_v the_o wife_n of_o ezekiel_n chap._n 24._o 16._o or_o by_o some_o torment_a disease_n as_o he_o be_v please_v to_o visit_v some_o of_o his_o dear_a one_o acknowledge_v the_o wonderful_a mercy_n of_o god_n to_o she_o therein_o a_o week_n before_o her_o death_n child_n she_o call_v her_o elder_a daughter_n to_o she_o be_v to_o go_v from_o she_o to_o school_n at_o putney_n and_o put_v her_o hand_n on_o her_o shoulder_n she_o say_v to_o she_o i_o give_v you_o that_o blessing_n which_o my_o mother_n give_v i_o at_o her_o death_n the_o god_n of_o abraham_n the_o god_n of_o isaac_n and_o the_o god_n of_o jacob_n bless_v you_o and_o then_o add_v the_o blessing_n which_o aaron_n by_o god_n own_o appointment_n be_v to_o give_v the_o child_n of_o israel_n the_o lord_n bless_v thou_o and_o keep_v thou_o
the_o godly_a and_o the_o miserable_a condition_n of_o the_o wicked_a in_o their_o death_n and_o so_o for_o ever_o unto_o all_o eternity_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n so_o much_o to_o affect_v my_o heart_n with_o it_o as_o from_o that_o time_n my_o heart_n be_v wrought_v over_o to_o a_o desire_n to_o walk_v in_o the_o way_n of_o god_n but_o at_o that_o time_n i_o fear_v i_o do_v not_o go_v upon_o a_o right_a principle_n for_o i_o then_o do_v not_o eye_n the_o glory_n of_o god_n in_o it_o but_o only_o my_o own_o safety_n that_o it_o may_v be_v well_o with_o i_o for_o ever_o but_o quick_o after_o that_o i_o have_v but_o begin_v to_o set_v my_o face_n towards_o zion_n malice_n i_o be_v set_v upon_o with_o many_o temptation_n and_o perplexity_n in_o my_o thought_n which_o be_v very_o troublesome_a to_o i_o at_o all_o time_n but_o especial_o when_o i_o be_v alone_o the_o consideration_n whereof_o bring_v such_o a_o horror_n upon_o my_o conscience_n insomuch_o as_o i_o do_v not_o know_v what_o to_o do_v that_o little_a i_o have_v whether_o from_o education_n or_o from_o the_o light_n of_o nature_n cause_v a_o strive_v in_o i_o continual_o against_o those_o thought_n of_o atheism_n which_o be_v most_o terrible_a unto_o i_o i_o be_v sensible_a that_o it_o be_v a_o fearful_a sin_n to_o have_v any_o such_o thought_n to_o lodge_v within_o my_o breast_n but_o i_o desire_v from_o my_o soul_n to_o be_v free_v from_o they_o and_o have_v continual_a reason_n within_o i_o against_o they_o and_o yet_o still_o for_o a_o long_a time_n i_o be_v trouble_v but_o can_v not_o acquaint_v any_o with_o my_o condition_n i_o do_v not_o think_v that_o it_o be_v so_o with_o any_o other_o as_o it_o be_v with_o i_o in_o this_o strait_a mercy_n when_o i_o know_v not_o which_o way_n to_o turn_v i_o even_o there_o do_v the_o lord_n extend_v his_o compassion_n towards_o i_o in_o my_o great_a extremity_n in_o direct_v i_o to_o read_v calvin_n institution_n and_o especial_o that_o part_n that_o treat_v of_o the_o creation_n whereupon_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v in_o such_o satisfaction_n to_o my_o soul_n concern_v those_o thing_n about_o which_o i_o be_v trouble_v as_o that_o from_o that_o time_n forward_o i_o be_v not_o violent_o assault_v in_o that_o kind_n but_o no_o soon_o be_v i_o free_v from_o that_o trouble_n but_o new_a one_o spring_v up_o for_o the_o very_a remembrance_n of_o that_o horrid_a sin_n of_o atheism_n subtlety_n leave_v such_o a_o terror_n upon_o my_o spirit_n as_o make_v i_o fear_v that_o i_o have_v commit_v that_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o so_o my_o condition_n seem_v to_o be_v not_o only_o for_o the_o present_a but_z in_o my_o apprehension_n then_o for_o ever_o most_o miserable_a all_o other_o sin_n though_o never_o so_o great_a i_o know_v upon_o true_a repentance_n be_v pardonable_a but_o this_o sin_n that_o i_o lay_v under_o the_o fear_n of_o i_o know_v out_o of_o the_o word_n of_o god_n shall_v never_o be_v pardon_v which_o cause_v many_o sad_a fear_n upon_o my_o spirit_n know_v to_o god_n alone_o for_o the_o removal_n of_o these_o fear_n mercy_n the_o lord_n in_o mercy_n direct_v i_o to_o the_o read_n of_o mr._n scudder_n work_n where_o be_v lay_v down_o the_o mark_n of_o that_o sin_n upon_o perusal_n whereof_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o satisfy_v my_o misgive_a heart_n by_o a_o clear_a manifestation_n to_o my_o soul_n that_o i_o have_v not_o commit_v that_o sin_n and_o so_o assure_v i_o that_o though_o my_o sin_n be_v great_a yet_o be_v they_o pardonable_a which_o put_v i_o more_o cheerful_o upon_o the_o use_n of_o such_o mean_n as_o the_o lord_n have_v direct_v i_o unto_o and_o have_v satisfaction_n give_v in_o concern_v this_o particular_a there_o be_v a_o great_a burden_n take_v off_o from_o my_o spirit_n although_o i_o find_v no_o grace_n in_o my_o heart_n nor_o discovery_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n unto_o my_o soul_n yet_o in_o that_o there_o be_v but_o a_o possibility_n there_o be_v a_o ground_n of_o comfort_n administer_v to_o my_o heart_n which_o i_o former_o fear_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v shut_v out_o from_o but_o still_o my_o fear_n remain_v that_o i_o be_v not_o one_o of_o those_o in_o particular_a for_o who_o christ_n die_v the_o more_o i_o look_v into_o my_o own_o heart_n the_o more_o i_o see_v of_o sin_n and_o satan_n discourage_v i_o from_o have_v any_o hope_n that_o the_o lord_n shall_v accept_v of_o such_o a_o vile_a sinful_a wretch_n as_o i_o be_v who_o have_v entertain_v such_o sinful_a thought_n i_o likewise_o think_v how_o small_a the_o number_n be_v of_o those_o that_o shall_v be_v save_v in_o comparison_n of_o other_o and_o my_o repentance_n i_o fear_v come_v short_a of_o that_o which_o be_v require_v in_o the_o gospel_n as_o for_o faith_n i_o can_v not_o find_v the_o least_o measure_n of_o it_o in_o my_o soul_n with_o many_o other_o sad_a discourage_a thought_n but_o when_o i_o be_v most_o perplex_v with_o fear_n and_o doubt_n even_o than_o do_v the_o lord_n gracious_o dart_v in_o some_o beam_n of_o his_o reconcile_a countenance_n as_o i_o be_v read_v something_o in_o mr._n scudder_n christian_n daily_o walk_v etc._n etc._n which_o the_o lord_n set_v home_o upon_o my_o soul_n joy_n and_o bring_v into_o my_o soul_n so_o much_o joy_n and_o comfort_n at_o the_o present_a as_o neither_o my_o tongue_n nor_o pen_n can_v express_v but_o this_o joy_n remain_v not_o long_o for_o i_o quick_o lose_v the_o sense_n of_o it_o yet_o the_o remembrance_n of_o it_o be_v sweet_a unto_o i_o at_o all_o time_n but_o after_o this_o all_o my_o former_a fear_n return_v afresh_o again_o upon_o my_o heart_n only_o i_o have_v a_o door_n of_o hope_n open_v that_o when_o god_n see_v it_o best_o for_o i_o he_o will_v return_v and_o renew_v his_o reconcile_a countenance_n unto_o my_o soul_n in_o the_o clear_a light_n and_o apprehension_n thereof_o and_o this_o be_v when_o i_o be_v about_o sixteen_o year_n of_o age_n after_o which_o time_n the_o lord_n do_v exercise_v i_o with_o various_a dispensation_n for_o for_o two_o year_n space_n i_o be_v by_o providence_n cast_v upon_o a_o place_n where_o i_o hear_v very_o little_a powerful_a preach_v small_a help_n for_o the_o good_a of_o my_o soul_n but_o what_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v in_o by_o the_o use_n of_o private_a mean_n but_o his_o power_n and_o abundant_a mercy_n be_v much_o see_v in_o that_o time_n that_o though_o i_o have_v not_o much_o comfort_n meanâ—_n yet_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o keep_v up_o my_o spirit_n in_o a_o way_n of_o depend_v upon_o he_o and_o my_o fear_n be_v less_o at_o that_o time_n than_o former_o when_o i_o have_v more_o help_n so_o gracious_a be_v tâ—â—_n lord_n unto_o i_o in_o keep_v i_o alive_a in_o a_o time_n of_o famine_n after_o this_o through_o god_n goodness_n i_o be_v sometime_o under_o the_o preach_n of_o a_o powerful_a minister_n mr._n bateman_n of_o ockingam_n who_o be_v crown_v with_o the_o conversion_n providence_n strengthen_v and_o build_v up_o of_o many_o soul_n unto_o who_o preach_v the_o lord_n give_v i_o such_o a_o blessing_n as_o i_o seldom_o if_o ever_o go_v away_o from_o hear_v he_o without_o comfort_n though_o i_o come_v to_o hear_v he_o with_o many_o doubt_n upon_o my_o spirit_n yet_o the_o lord_n so_o rule_v and_o direct_v he_o as_o if_o his_o sermon_n have_v be_v only_o concern_v my_o particular_a and_o he_o full_o acquaint_v with_o the_o whole_a condition_n of_o my_o soul._n sometime_o the_o lord_n direct_v i_o to_o some_o support_a promise_n upon_o which_o i_o rely_v but_o those_o promise_n which_o be_v make_v to_o believer_n though_o i_o high_o prize_v they_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o apply_v they_o to_o myself_o fear_v that_o i_o have_v no_o interest_n in_o they_o but_o that_o promise_n prov._n 28._o 13._o he_o that_o confess_v promise_n and_o forsake_v his_o sin_n shall_v find_v mercy_n and_o that_o 1_o joh._n 1._o 9_o if_o we_o confess_v our_o sin_n he_o be_v faithful_a and_o just_a to_o forgive_v we_o our_o sin_n and_o to_o cleanse_v we_o from_o all_o unrighteousness_n and_o the_o promise_n be_v 1_o joh._n 2._o 1_o 2._o if_o any_o man_n sin_n we_o have_v a_o advocate_n with_o the_o father_n jesus_n christ_n the_o righteous_a and_o he_o be_v the_o propitiation_n for_o our_o sin_n and_o not_o for_o we_o only_o but_o for_o the_o sin_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n and_o the_o invitation_n isa._n 55._o 1._o ho_o every_o one_o that_o thirst_v come_v you_o to_o the_o water_n and_o he_o that_o have_v no_o money_n come_v you_o buy_v and_o eat_v yea_o come_v buy_v wine_n and_o milk_n without_o money_n and_o without_o price_n together_o with_o