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which_o howsoever_o i_o understand_v they_o not_o myself_o do_v yet_o fall_v out_o so_o fit_o for_o he_o that_o he_o be_v even_o amaze_v and_o our_o lord_n dispose_v he_o to_o believe_v that_o they_o come_v from_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o i_o on_o the_o other_o side_n though_o i_o be_v that_o poor_a miserable_a creature_n which_o i_o be_o do_v humble_o and_o earnest_o beseech_v our_o lord_n that_o he_o will_v perfect_o and_o entire_o convert_v that_o man_n to_o himself_o and_o make_v he_o abhor_v all_o the_o contentment_n and_o creature_n of_o this_o life_n and_o so_o for_o which_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o he_o have_v be_v please_v to_o do_v it_o and_o that_o in_o so_o very_o perfect_a a_o manner_n that_o whensoever_o this_o servant_n of_o he_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o it_o make_v i_o in_o effect_n turn_v half_a fool_n and_o if_o i_o have_v not_o see_v it_o with_o my_o very_a eye_n i_o shall_v hold_v it_o for_o a_o doubtful_a thing_n how_o favour_n can_v possible_o be_v heaped-up_a so_o very_o high_a upon_o a_o creature_n in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n and_o shall_v hold_v he_o so_o busy_o and_o continual_o employ_v upon_o almighty_a god_n that_o already_o he_o seem_v not_o to_o live_v for_o the_o use_n of_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n i_o humble_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n to_o keep_v he_o in_o his_o protection_n still_o for_o certain_o if_o he_o proceed_v after_o this_o rate_n as_o i_o hope_v in_o our_o lord_n he_o will_v his_o spirit_n be_v so_o deep_o root_v in_o the_o knowledge_n of_o himself_o he_o will_v grow_v to_o be_v of_o the_o most_o eminent_a servant_n he_o have_v and_o will_v be_v able_a to_o do_v good_a to_o many_o soul_n for_o he_o have_v get_v great_a experience_n concern_v thing_n of_o spirit_n in_o a_o very_a short_a time_n and_o these_o be_v gift_n which_o almighty_a god_n impart_v when_o and_o how_o he_o will_v without_o any_o precise_a respect_n either_o to_o the_o time_n which_o have_v be_v spend_v or_o else_o to_o the_o quality_n of_o the_o service_n i_o say_v not_o yet_o but_o that_o this_o may_v also_o import_v much_o but_o that_o our_o lord_n forbear_v sometime_o to_o give_v that_o to_o a_o person_n in_o twenty_o year_n of_o contemplation_n which_o yet_o he_o forbear_v not_o to_o bestow_v upon_o some_o other_o in_o one_o our_o lord_n know_v the_o reason_n of_o this_o and_o it_o be_v also_o a_o deceitful_a error_n which_o abuse_v we_o when_o it_o seem_v we_o may_v understand_v and_o obtain_v that_o by_o account_n of_o year_n which_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n be_v have_v without_o experience_n of_o the_o very_a thing_n as_o they_o be_v and_o so_o many_o err_v as_o i_o have_v say_v in_o think_v that_o they_o be_v fit_a to_o judge_v of_o spirit_n without_o have_v any_o themselves_o i_o say_v not_o but_o that_o a_o learned_a man_n though_o he_o have_v no_o great_a knowledge_n of_o spirit_n may_v govern_v another_o man_n who_o have_v spirit_n but_o this_o be_v to_o be_v understand_v both_o in_o the_o exterior_a and_o in_o the_o interior_a way_n so_o far_o as_o it_o may_v carry_v a_o conformity_n with_o the_o natural_a power_n by_o the_o work_n of_o his_o understanding_n and_o as_o for_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v supernatural_a he_o must_v be_v careful_a that_o all_o go_v on_o with_o consent_n to_o holy_a scripture_n and_o for_o the_o rest_n let_v he_o not_o vex_v himself_o nor_o conceive_v that_o he_o understand_v that_o whereof_o indeed_o he_o know_v nothing_o nor_o stifle_v and_o choke_v those_o spirit_n which_o forasmuch_o as_o concern_v these_o thing_n be_v govern_v by_o another_o and_o a_o high_a lord_n for_o in_o fine_a they_o be_v not_o without_o a_o superior_a of_o their_o own_o be_v not_o amaze_v at_o this_o nor_o let_v these_o thing_n seem_v impossible_a to_o you_o for_o all_o be_v very_o possible_a to_o our_o lord_n but_o procure_v you_o to_o reinforce_v your_o faith_n and_o to_o humble_v yourself_o when_o you_o see_v that_o our_o bless_a lord_n know_v how_o to_o make_v a_o poor_a old_a ignorant_a woman_n become_v a_o more_o know_a creature_n perhaps_o in_o this_o science_n than_o he_o who_o may_v be_v otherwise_o a_o very_a learned_a man_n for_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o humility_n one_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o do_v more_o good_a both_o to_o the_o soul_n of_o other_o and_o his_o own_o then_o if_o he_o grow_v to_o be_v contemplative_a without_o that_o virtue_n and_o i_o say_v and_o say_v again_o that_o if_o he_o be_v not_o a_o man_n of_o experience_n or_o if_o at_o least_o he_o have_v not_o very_o abundant_o of_o humility_n wherewith_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o understand_v not_o the_o business_n and_o that_o yet_o it_o be_v not_o impossible_a but_o that_o the_o thing_n in_o question_n may_v be_v true_a he_o shall_v both_o gain_v little_a himself_o and_o enable_v he_o also_o less_o to_o gain_v with_o who_o he_o deal_v but_o on_o the_o other_o side_n if_o he_o have_v humility_n he_o may_v be_v well_o out_o of_o fear_n that_o our_o lord_n 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he_o in_o prayer_n for_o they_o be_v not_o paint_a thing_n or_o put_v loose_o on_o but_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o have_v he_o bring_v to_o the_o touch_n and_o he_o have_v prove_v therein_o as_o one_o who_o understand_v very_o well_o the_o true_a value_n of_o that_o merit_n which_o be_v get_v by_o the_o well_o suffer_v of_o persecution_n and_o i_o trust_v in_o the_o greatness_n of_o our_o lord_n that_o much_o good_a will_v accrue_v to_o some_o of_o his_o order_n by_o his_o mean_n yea_o and_o even_o to_o the_o whole_a order_n itself_o already_o this_o begin_v to_o be_v understand_v and_o myself_o have_v see_v great_a vision_n and_o our_o lord_n have_v tell_v i_o some_o particular_n both_o of_o he_o and_o of_o the_o rectour_n of_o the_o college_n of_o the_o society_n of_o jesus_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v and_o they_o be_v thing_n of_o great_a admiration_n as_o also_o of_o two_o other_o religious_a man_n of_o s._n dominick_n order_n but_o especial_o of_o one_o for_o who_o 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how_o many_o year_n she_o have_v continue_v in_o that_o dangerous_a state_n and_o in_o fine_a how_o she_o conceive_v that_o her_o proper_a place_n and_o particular_a torment_n be_v prepare_v for_o she_o in_o hell_n itself_o for_o the_o everlasting_a punishment_n of_o her_o sin_n which_o she_o faith_n she_o feel_v in_o spirit_n whereas_o yet_o in_o reality_n and_o sincerity_n of_o truth_n it_o may_v be_v clear_a enough_o to_o such_o as_o will_v unpartiallie_o consider_v what_o they_o be_v to_o judge_v and_o not_o look_v through_o the_o mist_n or_o cloud_v of_o that_o too_o great_a insatisfaction_n and_o severity_n which_o she_o will_v be_v sure_a to_o carry_v towards_o herself_o that_o she_o be_v always_o far_o from_o commit_v any_o mortal_a sin_n in_o all_o the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n now_o the_o difference_n in_o point_n of_o judgement_n between_v our_o saint_n and_o other_o may_v well_o seem_v to_o have_v proceed_v from_o this_o occasion_n which_o follow_v they_o look_v upon_o 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time_n when_o herself_o profess_v that_o she_o confess_v all_o her_o sin_n so_o entire_o as_o not_o to_o omit_v so_o much_o as_o even_o all_o those_o venial_a sin_n upon_o which_o she_o can_v reflect_v so_o that_o clear_o by_o the_o very_o worst_a of_o her_o case_n if_o any_o such_o thing_n as_o she_o have_v ever_o do_v be_v doubtful_a &_o if_o her_o ghostly_a father_n assure_v she_o then_o that_o it_o be_v not_o mortal_a as_o indeed_o they_o do_v what_o reason_n can_v she_o have_v to_o be_v so_o very_o high_o and_o irreconciliable_o unsatisfy_v with_o herself_o but_o the_o truth_n be_v she_o pierce_v so_o deep_o by_o mean_n of_o celestial_a grace_n into_o that_o endless_a spotless_a mine_n of_o the_o purity_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o the_o unlimited_a excellentie_n of_o his_o high_a majesty_n and_o the_o unspeakable_a deformity_n of_o the_o least_o imperfection_n or_o frailty_n when_o once_o it_o shall_v be_v bring_v to_o appear_v before_o that_o incomparable_a claritie_n of_o the_o king_n of_o glory_n and_o on_o the_o other_o side_n she_o be_v endue_v with_o such_o a_o strange_a internal_a kind_n of_o knowledge_n of_o herself_o that_o it_o make_v as_o i_o be_v say_v before_o those_o moat_n of_o her_o imperfection_n seem_v mountain_n when_o once_o they_o be_v to_o appear_v as_o in_o god_n presence_n she_o be_v also_o of_o so_o very_o sensible_a a_o nature_n which_o i_o must_v needs_o touch_v again_o afterward_o and_o so_o easy_o oblige_v and_o so_o inseparable_o engage_v upon_o the_o receive_n even_o of_o poor_a weak_a little_a service_n from_o mortal_a creature_n &_o much_o more_o when_o celestial_a favour_n distil_v down_o so_o very_o fast_o towards_o she_o from_o that_o never-failing_a fountain_n of_o divine_a mercy_n that_o for_o she_o to_o find_v herself_o any_o way_n ungrateful_a yea_o or_o so_o much_o as_o even_o unmindful_a thereof_o and_o yet_o much_o more_o if_o she_o shall_v prove_v so_o inhuman_o unkind_a as_o in_o stead_n of_o pay_v service_n to_o commit_v fault_n how_o light_n soever_o they_o may_v be_v such_o error_n will_v seem_v in_o those_o eye_n of_o she_o which_o still_o be_v feed_v from_o that_o inflame_a hart_n to_o be_v real_o not_o very_o much_o less_o than_o almost_o as_o so_o many_o half_a sin_n against_o the_o holie-ghost_n and_o from_o this_o composition_n of_o her_o mind_n both_o in_o the_o natural_a and_o supernatural_a way_n do_v grow_v those_o profound_a detestation_n of_o herself_o those_o high_a exaggeration_n of_o her_o imperfection_n and_o frailty_n those_o loud_v exclamation_n against_o her_o suppose_a ingratitude_n and_o unkindness_n towards_o almighty_a god_n which_o break_v as_o it_o be_v even_o her_o own_o very_a hart_n while_o she_o be_v think_v and_o deliver_v over_o such_o feel_a argument_n of_o her_o sad_a remorse_n while_o she_o be_v writing_n as_o be_v able_a to_o strike_v the_o water_n of_o tear_n out_o of_o the_o stony_a heart_n of_o her_o reader_n like_o the_o rod_n of_o moses_n which_o drive_v water_n out_o of_o the_o rock_n when_o once_o they_o lend_v their_o sight_n though_o never_o so_o little_a to_o behold_v that_o sweet_a object_n of_o her_o enamour_a thought_n and_o expostulation_n against_o herself_o from_o hence_o it_o be_v i_o say_v that_o she_o accuse_v herself_o after_o a_o kind_n of_o obstinate_a manner_n whensoever_o she_o reflect_v upon_o god_n &_o herself_o in_o order_n to_o his_o bounty_n on_o the_o one_o side_n &_o her_o discorrespondence_n on_o the_o other_o whilst_o yet_o when_o her_o thought_n be_v bend_v but_o to_o express_v the_o plain_a order_n of_o thing_n after_o a_o manner_n mere_o abstract_v from_o those_o superior_a consideration_n she_o deliver_v such_o truth_n concern_v herself_o as_o make_v all_o these_o imputation_n which_o fall_v so_o fierce_o upon_o her_o soul_n out_o of_o her_o own_o mouth_n appear_v to_o be_v far_o different_a from_o that_o which_o she_o will_v desire_v that_o they_o may_v be_v think_v and_o so_o in_o conformity_n 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in_o the_o exercise_n of_o bounty_n her_o compassion_n be_v most_o eminent_a to_o ward_o the_o relief_n of_o all_o creature_n in_o misery_n &_o so_o especial_o be_v her_o solicitude_n to_o consolate_v &_o regale_n all_o such_o in_o all_o occasion_n as_o be_v entrust_v to_o her_o care_n while_o yet_o she_o will_v needs_o be_v unkind_a and_o even_o as_o it_o be_v cruel_a to_o herself_o alone_o above_o all_o thing_n she_o be_v a_o most_o perfect_a lover_n of_o truth_n &_o so_o full_a of_o matchless_a candour_n &_o sincerity_n in_o all_o expression_n &_o upon_o all_o occasion_n that_o she_o will_v no_o more_o have_v even_o so_o much_o as_o but_z disguised_z it_o and_o much_o less_o vary_a from_o it_o in_o the_o least_o kind_n especial_o when_o the_o question_n have_v any_o way_n concern_v she_o own_o advantage_n than_o she_o will_v have_v sell_v herself_o for_o a_o slave_n these_o i_o say_v be_v the_o condition_n of_o this_o admirable_a creature_n and_o these_o be_v the_o part_n of_o her_o 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&_o public_a resort_n to_o the_o house_n and_o a_o multitude_n of_o unnecessary_a conversation_n and_o especial_o for_o that_o they_o be_v not_o bind_v to_o continual_a clausure_n but_o have_v liberty_n to_o go_v abroad_o though_o yet_o only_o by_o leave_n of_o their_o superior_n to_o visit_v their_o parent_n and_o near_a kindred_n at_o some_o time_n she_o grow_v into_o a_o full_a resolution_n that_o if_o ever_o it_o shall_v be_v in_o her_o power_n to_o free_v herself_o from_o that_o course_n and_o to_o set_v more_o limit_v bound_n upon_o her_o way_n and_o to_o invite_v other_o also_o by_o her_o example_n to_o express_v their_o great_a desire_n to_o gain_v and_o perfect_a soul_n she_o will_v not_o fail_v to_o put_v that_o purpose_n of_o she_o in_o execution_n and_o so_o after_o the_o expire_a of_o some_o time_n &_o the_o encounter_v of_o many_o impediment_n and_o the_o overcome_v a_o world_n of_o difficulty_n she_o grow_v to_o express_v her_o love_n to_o our_o b_o lord_n but_o in_o 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much_o i_o have_v enlarge_v myself_o thus_o far_o though_o yet_o other_o will_v certain_o have_v write_v much_o better_a of_o it_o but_o thus_o much_o do_v i_o confess_v and_o i_o have_v express_v myself_o herein_o with_o abundance_n of_o confusion_n and_o shame_n though_o yet_o still_o not_o with_o so_o much_o as_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v have_v let_v our_o lord_n be_v ever_o bless_v for_o all_o since_o he_o permit_v and_o be_v please_v that_o so_o miserable_a a_o creature_n as_o i_o shall_v speak_v of_o thing_n belong_v to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n and_o those_o thing_n such_o and_o so_o high_a the_o thirteen_o chapter_n she_o proceed_v in_o this_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n of_o prayer_n and_o give_v advice_n against_o some_o temptation_n which_o the_o devil_n be_v sometime_o wont_a to_o bring_v this_o discourse_n be_v very_o profitable_a i_o have_v think_v fit_a to_o speak_v here_o of_o certain_a temptation_n which_o i_o have_v find_v to_o be_v bring_v against_o some_o in_o 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all_o their_o hope_n be_v lose_v though_o for_o my_o part_n i_o conceive_v that_o all_o that_o loss_n be_v gain_n but_o let_v they_o advice_n as_o i_o have_v say_v represent_v themselves_o as_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n and_o without_o weary_v of_o the_o understanding_n be_v speak_v and_o regal_v themselves_o with_o he_o and_o not_o tire_v their_o wit_n to_o find_v out_o and_o frame_v certain_a discourse_n but_o let_v they_o only_o present_v their_o necessity_n and_o the_o reason_n which_o he_o may_v have_v not_o so_o much_o as_o to_o endure_v they_o there_o some_o one_o of_o these_o consideration_n will_v serve_v at_o one_o time_n and_o some_o other_o at_o a_o other_o that_o so_o the_o soul_n may_v not_o be_v weary_a of_o feed_v always_o upon_o one_o dish_n these_o particular_n be_v both_o very_a gustfull_a and_o very_o profitable_a also_o if_o once_o the_o party_n be_v accustom_v to_o feed_v on_o they_o for_o they_o use_v to_o bring_v great_a support_n and_o strength_n for_o the_o life_n of_o the_o soul_n &_o many_o advamtage_n also_o otherwise_o i_o will_v declare_v myself_o further_o upon_o this_o matter_n because_o all_o these_o point_n concern_v prayer_n carry_v their_o difficulty_n along_o with_o they_o and_o unless_o there_o be_v a_o good_a director_n at_o hand_n they_o be_v very_o hard_a to_o be_v understand_v and_o this_o be_v the_o very_a cause_n why_o though_o i_o will_v fain_o make_v short_a and_o that_o just_o because_o it_o will_v suffice_v for_o i_o but_o even_o to_o touch_v they_o by_o reason_n of_o the_o great_a capacity_n of_o he_o who_o command_v i_o to_o write_v these_o particular_n of_o prayer_n yet_o my_o dulness_n be_v not_o able_a to_o declare_v &_o explicate_v in_o few_o word_n a_o thing_n which_o it_o so_o much_o import_v to_o be_v well_o understand_v and_o because_o i_o suffer_v so_o very_a much_o by_o use_v only_a book_n when_o i_o begin_v the_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n i_o have_v compassion_n of_o all_o they_o 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begin_v and_o proceed_v and_o make_v a_o end_n and_o it_o will_v be_v a_o very_a excellent_a and_o secure_a way_n till_o our_o lord_n may_v perhaps_o carry_v they_o on_o to_o other_o thing_n which_o be_v supernatural_a i_o say_v for_o all_o though_o yet_o there_o be_v many_o soul_n which_o profit_n more_o by_o other_o meditation_n then_o by_o that_o of_o the_o sacred_a passion_n for_o as_o there_o be_v many_o mansion_n in_o heaven_n when_o a_o soul_n be_v there_o so_o be_v there_o also_o many_o way_n thither_o some_o profit_n more_o by_o consider_v heaven_n and_o some_o afflict_v themselves_o best_a by_o think_v of_o hell_n other_o by_o reflect_v upon_o death_n and_o some_o if_o they_o be_v very_o tender-hearted_a be_v too_o much_o trouble_v and_o vex_v if_o they_o always_o go_v ruminate_v upon_o the_o passion_n and_o they_o regale_n themselves_o better_a yea_o and_o they_o also_o profit_v more_o by_o consider_v the_o power_n and_o greatness_n of_o almighty_a god_n in_o his_o work_n 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degree_n of_o quiet_a prayer_n but_o so_o she_o be_v in_o trouble_n enough_o and_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o this_o point_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o one_o self_n be_v never_o indeed_o to_o be_v utter_o give_v over_o nor_o be_v any_o soul_n in_o the_o way_n of_o prayer_n to_o think_v she_o have_v so_o much_o of_o the_o giant_n in_o she_o as_o not_o to_o understand_v that_o many_o time_n she_o must_v turn_v child_n and_o suck_v again_o and_o this_o must_v never_o be_v forget_v and_o perhaps_o i_o shall_v also_o speak_v often_o of_o it_o again_o in_o regard_n that_o it_o import_v so_o much_o because_o there_o be_v no_o state_n of_o prayer_n so_o high_a wherein_o it_o will_v not_o be_v necessary_a to_o turne-againe_a often_o to_o the_o beginning_n and_o this_o point_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o ourselves_o and_o of_o our_o sin_n be_v the_o daily_a bread_n bread_n which_o must_v be_v eat_v with_o all_o the_o meat_n how_o delicate_a soever_o it_o may_v be_v of_o such_o as_o 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we_o upon_o what_o it_o be_v convenient_a for_o we_o to_o feed_v so_o that_o it_o import_v we_o very_o much_o that_o the_o spirit_n director_n be_v well_o advise_v &_o i_o mean_v also_o that_o he_o be_v of_o good_a understanding_n and_o experience_n and_o if_o with_o this_o he_o be_v also_o learned_a it_o will_v be_v of_o mighty_a importance_n but_o yet_o still_o when_o all_o these_o three_o part_n shall_v not_o chance_v to_o meet_v together_o in_o the_o same_o man_n the_o two_o former_a quality_n of_o these_o three_o will_v fall_v out_o to_o import_v more_o than_o the_o three_o because_o they_o may_v easy_o procure_v to_o consult_v with_o such_o as_o be_v learned_a whensoever_o they_o shall_v have_v need_n thereof_o
improve_v so_o much_o the_o more_o as_o also_o because_o by_o this_o time_n she_o be_v grow_v to_o approach_v near_o to_o that_o virtue_n and_o power_n from_o whence_o all_o virtue_n proceed_v which_o be_v almighty_a god_n because_o his_o divine_a majesty_n do_v not_o only_o then_o communicate_v himself_o to_o that_o soul_n but_o he_o be_v also_o please_v that_o she_o shall_v find_v in_o what_o sort_n it_o be_v that_o he_o communicate_v himself_o to_o she_o in_o arrive_v once_o to_o this_o place_n she_o instant_o begin_v to_o loose_v the_o appetite_n of_o all_o thing_n concern_v this_o world_n and_o i_o can_v blame_v she_o for_o already_o she_o see_v very_o clear_o that_o one_o moment_n of_o that_o gust_n be_v not_o to_o be_v purchase_v here_o and_o that_o no_o riches_n nor_o dominion_n nor_o all_o the_o honour_n nor_o delight_n of_o this_o world_n be_v able_a to_o give_v such_o contentment_n and_o satisfaction_n as_o this_o though_o it_o be_v but_o for_o the_o twinkle_n of_o a_o eye_n because_o this_o be_v true_a contentment_n and_o such_o a_o one_o as_o we_o real_o see_v and_o find_v to_o content_v we_o indeed_o for_o as_o for_o those_o other_o of_o this_o world_n it_o may_v well_o go_v for_o a_o wonder_n if_o we_o can_v so_o much_o as_o tell_v even_o wherein_o the_o contentment_n of_o any_o thing_n do_v consist_v nor_o do_v there_o ever_o fail_v to_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o measure_v cast_v between_o the_o yea_o and_o the_o no_o in_o any_o of_o they_o but_o here_o all_o be_v in_o the_o affirmative_a and_o profess_v to_o say_v yea_o as_o long_o as_o it_o last_v and_o the_o no_o come_v not_o in_o till_o afterward_o because_o then_o they_o see_v that_o the_o business_n be_v grow_v to_o be_v at_o a_o end_n and_o that_o he_o can_v recover_v it_o again_o nor_o know_v indeed_o how_o to_o go_v about_o it_o for_o though_o he_o shall_v even_o half_o kill_v himself_o with_o do_v penance_n and_o make_v much_o prayer_n and_o use_v in_o fine_a all_o other_o possible_a diligence_n yet_o will_v it_o all_o serve_v to_o very_o little_a purpose_n unless_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o impart_v it_o but_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v here_o for_o his_o own_o greatness_n that_o this_o soul_n shall_v now_o understand_v that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o be_v so_o near_o she_o that_o now_o there_o be_v no_o need_n of_o send_v any_o messenger_n to_o she_o but_o only_o that_o she_o herself_o may_v speak_v with_o he_o though_o yet_o not_o by_o word_n of_o mouth_n because_o then_o he_o be_v already_o so_o near_o she_o that_o he_o understand_v she_o as_o a_o man_n may_v say_v even_o by_o the_o very_a lest_o stir_v of_o her_o lip_n but_o now_o it_o may_v chance_n seem_v to_o some_o to_o be_v impertinent_a for_o i_o to_o talk_v after_o this_o manner_n in_o regard_n the_o world_n know_v well_o enough_o that_o our_o lord_n do_v ever_o hear_v we_o &_o be_v ever_o present_a with_o we_o and_o there_o can_v be_v no_o doubt_n at_o all_o but_o that_o this_o be_v true_a but_o yet_o here_o this_o emperor_n and_o lord_n of_o we_o be_v please_v that_o we_o shall_v also_o understand_v that_o he_o understand_v we_o and_o what_o his_o presence_n be_v able_a to_o do_v &_o what_o he_o will_v particular_o begin_v to_o work_v in_o our_o soul_n and_o the_o great_a both_o interior_a and_o exterior_a satisfaction_n which_o he_o impart_v and_o the_o mighty_a difference_n which_o as_o i_o have_v say_v there_o be_v between_o this_o kind_n of_o delight_n and_o gust_n and_o all_o the_o other_o of_o this_o world_n for_o this_o seem_v even_o to_o fill_v all_o those_o hollow_a and_o void_a place_n which_o our_o sin_n have_v make_v in_o our_o soul_n and_o this_o so_o great_a satisfaction_n be_v in_o the_o very_a most_o intimate_a part_n thereof_o and_o she_o know_v not_o how_o nor_o by_o what_o mean_v also_o it_o come_v nay_o many_o time_n she_o can_v tell_v even_o what_o to_o do_v nor_o what_o to_o ask_v no_o nor_o what_o to_o wish_v for_o the_o soul_n seem_v there_o to_o find_v all_o good_a thing_n together_o and_o she_o do_v not_o very_o well_o know_v even_o what_o she_o have_v find_v nor_o yet_o can_v i_o tell_v how_o to_o give_v it_o to_o be_v understand_v for_o there_o will_v here_o be_v need_n of_o learning_n for_o many_o purpose_n and_o here_o will_v it_o come_v very_o well_o in_o to_o give_v to_o understand_v the_o difference_n betwixt_o general_n and_o particular_a help_n or_o succour_n of_o grace_n whereof_o many_o be_v ignorant_a and_o our_o lord_n in_o this_o prayer_n be_v please_v that_o our_o soul_n shall_v see_v this_o particular_a succour_n as_o it_o be_v with_o her_o very_a eye_n and_o many_o other_o thing_n also_o which_o may_v perhaps_o be_v ill_o declare_v here_o by_o i_o but_o since_o understand_v person_n be_v to_o see_v what_o i_o write_v and_o who_o will_v know_v if_o it_o have_v any_o error_n in_o it_o wherein_o i_o may_v easy_o be_v find_v faulty_a enough_o through_o want_n both_o of_o learning_n &_o spirit_n i_o be_o in_o the_o less_o pain_n and_o care_n consider_v that_o this_o go_v into_o the_o hand_n of_o such_o as_o will_v both_o understand_v it_o &_o will_v blot_n also_o any_o such_o thing_n out_o as_o may_v have_v be_v ill_o say_v yet_o i_o will_v fain_o give_v this_o to_o be_v understand_v because_o these_o be_v the_o beginning_n and_o when_o our_o lord_n dispose_v himself_o first_o to_o do_v these_o favour_n the_o soul_n herself_o do_v not_o understand_v they_o nor_o do_v she_o know_v what_o to_o do_v with_o herself_o for_o if_o almighty_a god_n conduct_v and_o guide_v she_o by_o the_o way_n of_o fear_n as_o he_o do_v i_o the_o trouble_n be_v very_o great_a unless_o there_o be_v some_o at_o hand_n who_o can_v understand_v she_o but_o then_o it_o be_v a_o great_a gust_n for_o she_o to_o see_v herself_o well_o describe_v by_o they_o for_o then_o she_o evident_o find_v herself_o to_o be_v in_o that_o way_n and_o it_o be_v also_o of_o great_a benefit_n to_o know_v what_o one_o have_v to_o do_v in_o any_o of_o these_o state_n or_o degree_n that_o so_o they_o may_v go_v profit_v on_o for_o my_o part_n i_o endure_v much_o and_o lose_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o time_n because_o i_o do_v not_o know_v how_o to_o carry_v myself_o and_o therefore_o i_o have_v very_o great_a compassion_n of_o those_o soul_n which_o find_v themselves_o alone_o when_o they_o be_v come_v thus_o far_o for_o though_o i_o have_v read_v many_o spiritual_a book_n and_o though_o they_o touch_v upon_o that_o which_o be_v to_o the_o purpose_n yet_o fall_v they_o very_o short_a in_o declare_v themselves_o and_o unless_o the_o soul_n be_v very_o well_o exercise_v in_o prayer_n she_o shall_v have_v enough_o to_o do_v to_o understand_v they_o though_o they_o seek_v to_o express_v themselves_o at_o large_a i_o can_v very_o much_o desire_n that_o our_o lord_n will_v do_v i_o the_o favour_n that_o i_o may_v know_v how_o to_o set_v down_o the_o effect_n which_o these_o thing_n that_o grow_v already_o to_o be_v supernatural_a use_v to_o work_v in_o the_o soul_n to_o the_o end_n that_o it_o may_v be_v understand_v by_o they_o when_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n i_o say_v that_o it_o may_v be_v understand_v according_a to_o what_o we_o can_v think_v we_o understand_v in_o this_o world_n though_o it_o will_v always_o be_v very_o well_o do_v to_o go_v on_o with_o circumspection_n and_o fear_n for_o though_o it_o be_v indeed_o of_o god_n yet_o the_o devil_n can_v tell_v how_o to_o transform_v himself_o sometime_o into_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n and_o if_o a_o soul_n be_v not_o well_o exercise_v in_o prayer_n she_o will_v not_o understand_v it_o well_o and_o indeed_o to_o be_v exercise_v well_o enough_o to_o understand_v this_o point_n as_o it_o deserve_v the_o soul_n must_v be_v arrive_v to_o the_o high_a degree_n of_o prayer_n the_o little_a time_n i_o have_v will_v allow_v i_o no_o great_a help_n for_o what_o i_o be_o designe_v and_o therefore_o his_o divine_a majesty_n have_v need_n to_o do_v it_o himself_o for_o i_o must_v be_v stir_v up_o and_o down_o in_o the_o community_n &_o have_v many_o other_o business_n to_o do_v since_o i_o be_o at_o this_o present_a in_o a_o house_n which_o be_v but_o beginning_n now_o as_o i_o shall_v show_v afterward_o and_o therefore_o i_o be_o write_v this_o without_o any_o such_o rest_n and_o quiet_a kind_n of_o be_v as_o be_v convenient_a so_o that_o i_o must_v do_v it_o by_o little_a and_o little_a and_o by_o fit_n but_o i_o can_v wish_v i_o be_v now_o at_o more_o leisure_n for_o when_o our_o lord_n give_v a_o spirit_n to_o do_v a_o thing_n it_o be_v easy_o and_o much_o
here_o of_o what_o it_o may_v import_v if_o such_o person_n be_v to_o preach_v or_o teach_v other_o for_o than_o it_o will_v be_v fit_a to_o serve_v themselves_o of_o that_o advantage_n towards_o the_o assist_a of_o their_o neighbour_n to_o that_o good_a and_o to_o help_v also_o poor_a people_n who_o know_v very_o little_a like_v i_o for_o charity_n be_v a_o very_a great_a matter_n and_o so_o be_v this_o help_a soul_n forward_o so_o that_o always_o it_o be_v do_v pure_o for_o god_n but_o now_o in_o these_o time_n of_o possess_v this_o great_a quiet_a let_v the_o soul_n be_v suffer_v to_o remain_v in_o rest_n with_o her_o true_a repose_n and_o let_v learning_n be_v lay_v aside_o for_o time_n will_v come_v afterward_o when_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v hold_v in_o so_o high_a account_n that_o they_o will_v by_o no_o mean_n have_v miss_v that_o treasure_n of_o knowledge_n if_o it_o be_v but_o only_o for_o the_o power_n it_o give_v they_o to_o do_v more_o and_o better_a service_n to_o his_o divine_a majesty_n for_o it_o assist_v very_o much_o in_o order_n to_o that_o excellent_a end_n but_o yet_o believe_v i_o still_o that_o in_o the_o presence_n of_o that_o infinite_a wisdom_n a_o very_a little_a attention_n to_o exercise_v humility_n &_o one_o single_a act_n of_o that_o virtue_n be_v more_o worth_a than_o all_o the_o knowledge_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n for_o here_o there_o be_v no_o room_n for_o dispute_v of_o question_n or_o argue_v case_n but_o only_o to_o know_v with_o truth_n and_o plainness_n what_o we_o be_v &_o to_o represent_v ourselves_o with_o great_a simplicity_n in_o the_o sight_n of_o almighty_a god_n who_o desire_n that_o the_o soul_n shall_v make_v herself_o as_o very_o ignorant_a and_o silly_a as_o in_o very_a deed_n she_o be_v when_o once_o she_o come_v to_o appear_v in_o his_o presence_n since_o his_o divine_a majesty_n descend_v so_o much_o below_o himself_o as_o to_o endure_v she_o near_o his_o own_o person_n all_o we_o be_v that_o which_o we_o be_v the_o understanding_n will_v also_o move_v itself_o here_o to_o give_v certain_a thanks_n to_o almighty_a god_n which_o may_v be_v handsome_o order_v and_o compose_v but_o the_o will_n with_o a_o certain_a kind_n of_o quiet_a and_o peace_n and_o with_o a_o not_o dare_v like_o the_o publican_n of_o the_o gospel_n so_o much_o as_o lift-up_a her_o eye_n pay_v yet_o more_o retribution_n of_o thanks_n than_o the_o understanding_n perhaps_o know_v how_o to_o do_v with_o revolve_v all_o the_o rhetoric_n in_o the_o world_n but_o in_o fine_a we_o be_v not_o total_o in_o this_o case_n to_o forbear_v to_o make_v mental_a prayer_n no_o nor_o yet_o sometime_o to_o use_v some_o vocal_a word_n if_o we_o will_v and_o can_v and_o i_o say_v can_v because_o if_o the_o quiet_v be_v great_a and_o deep_a they_o will_v hardly_o enough_o be_v able_a to_o speak_v without_o make_v it_o cost_v they_o much_o pain_n in_o bad_a my_o opinion_n we_o may_v well_o understand_v when_o this_o be_v of_o the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o when_o it_o happen_v to_o be_v procure_v by_o ourselves_o though_o it_o be_v upon_o a_o beginning_n of_o that_o devotion_n which_o god_n give_v us._n for_o when_o as_o i_o have_v say_v we_o will_v needs_o resolve_v ourselves_o of_o ourselves_o to_o procure_v to_o pass_v on_o to_o this_o possess_n the_o quiet_a of_o the_o will_n it_o use_v to_o work_v no_o good_a effect_n at_o all_o but_o quick_o end_v and_o leave_v nothing_o but_o dryness_n behind_o it_o and_o if_o it_o chance_v to_o proceed_v from_o the_o devil_n a_o soul_n which_o be_v exercise_v in_o this_o kind_n will_n i_o believe_v grow_v easy_o to_o understand_v it_o for_o in_o that_o case_n it_o will_v leave_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o disquiet_n and_o little_a affection_n to_o humility_n and_o a_o untoward_a disposition_n in_o order_n to_o the_o produce_v of_o those_o effect_n which_o the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n be_v wont_a to_o breed_v nor_o do_v it_o also_o leave_v either_o light_n in_o the_o understanding_n or_o a_o constant_a love_n of_o truth_n in_o the_o will._n and_o this_o will_v do_v a_o soul_n either_o very_a little_a hurt_n or_o none_o at_o all_o if_o she_o direct_v and_o address_v the_o suavitie_n and_o delight_n which_o then_o she_o feel_v to_o the_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o if_o she_o lodge_v her_o thought_n and_o desire_n upon_o he_o as_o i_o have_v former_o advise_v the_o devil_n will_v gain_v little_a by_o the_o bargain_n nay_o rather_o almighty_a god_n will_v so_o dispose_v of_o thing_n that_o he_o shall_v loose_v much_o even_o by_o that_o very_a delight_n which_o he_o cause_v in_o her_o soul_n for_o this_o very_a delight_n shall_v be_v a_o mean_n to_o make_v that_o soul_n which_o conceive_v that_o it_o proceed_v from_o god_n to_o come_v again_o often_o to_o prayer_n with_o desire_n to_o receive_v more_o delight_n or_o else_o if_o the_o soul_n be_v very_o humble_a and_o not_o withal_o very_o curious_a nor_o very_o much_o interest_v in_o take_v delight_n though_o even_o they_o be_v spiritual_a but_o be_v indeed_o a_o true_a friend_n to_o the_o cross_n she_o will_v make_v very_o little_a account_n of_o any_o gust_n which_o the_o devil_n can_v give_v she_o which_o yet_o she_o shall_v never_o be_v able_a to_o do_v if_o indeed_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n for_o in_o that_o case_n she_o will_v ever_o be_v sure_a to_o hold_v it_o in_o very_o high_a account_n now_o when_o the_o devil_n propound_v such_o a_o business_n since_o he_o be_v all_o make_v of_o lie_n whensoever_o he_o see_v a_o soul_n abase_v and_o humble_v herself_o by_o mean_n of_o that_o delight_n and_o gust_n which_o she_o receave_v for_o indeed_o we_o be_v to_o have_v very_o great_a care_n to_o procure_v to_o prove_v very_o humble_a upon_o all_o the_o occasion_n of_o prayer_n and_o gust_n the_o devil_n will_v not_o return_v to_o tempt_v we_o very_o often_o when_o he_o consider_v how_o much_o he_o lose_v by_o the_o endeavour_n for_o this_o reason_n and_o upon_o many_o other_o consideration_n do_v i_o advertise_v in_o the_o first_o degree_n and_o state_n of_o prayer_n which_o answer_v to_o the_o first_o way_n of_o draw_v water_n in_o the_o garden_n that_o it_o be_v a_o all_o principal_a business_n when_o the_o soul_n be_v enter_v first_o upon_o prayer_n to_o begin_v to_o untie_v herself_o from_o the_o desire_n of_o all_o kind_n of_o sensible_a contentment_n and_o to_o enter_v upon_o this_o only_o resolution_n to_o help_v our_o lord_n jesus_n to_o carry_v his_o cross_n like_o good_a cavalier_n who_o be_v resolve_v to_o serve_v their_o king_n without_o wage_n since_o they_o be_v so_o sure_a of_o he_o as_o they_o be_v and_o we_o be_v also_o still_o to_o carry_v our_o eye_n upon_o that_o true_a and_o everlasting_a kingdom_n which_o we_o procure_v to_o acquire_v it_o be_v a_o very_a great_a point_n to_o have_v this_o ever_o in_o view_n and_o especial_o in_o the_o beginning_n for_o afterward_o it_o be_v see_v so_o very_o clear_o that_o it_o may_v rather_o be_v fit_a to_o forget_v it_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v be_v able_a even_o to_o live_v then_o procure_v to_o be_v remember_v that_o the_o world_n be_v to_o last_v very_o little_a and_o that_o all_o in_o fine_a be_v nothing_o and_o that_o here_o the_o ease_n and_o rest_n which_o we_o can_v have_v be_v to_o be_v esteem_v for_o nothing_o this_o may_v seem_v to_o be_v a_o very_a poor_a and_o base_a consideration_n and_o so_o indeed_o it_o be_v for_o they_o who_o have_v proceed_v to_o more_o perfection_n will_v take_v it_o for_o a_o affront_n and_o will_v even_o blush_v and_o be_v ashamed_a among_o themselves_o if_o they_o think_v they_o forsake_v the_o good_n of_o this_o world_n because_o they_o must_v come_v once_o to_o have_v a_o end_n for_o although_o those_o good_n be_v to_o last_v always_o they_o will_v yet_o rejoice_v to_o leave_v they_o for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o still_o the_o more_o perfect_a they_o be_v they_o will_v rejoice_v so_o much_o the_o more_o yea_o &_o the_o more_o also_o will_v they_o rejoice_v the_o long_o they_o believe_v they_o be_v to_o last_o in_o these_o man_n this_o love_n be_v already_o growne-up_a to_o strength_n and_o it_o be_v this_o which_o work_v most_o but_o for_o such_o as_o be_v but_o beginner_n it_o be_v a_o point_n of_o high_a importance_n and_o they_o must_v by_o no_o mean_n hold_v it_o for_o low_a to_o be_v content_a to_o leave_v all_o gust_n for_o god_n for_o the_o benefit_n which_o be_v gain_v by_o this_o consideration_n be_v great_a and_o therefore_o do_v i_o advise_v it_o so_o much_o nay_o even_o those_o other_o who_o be_v most_o elevate_v and_o accomplish_v in_o prayer_n will_v have_v
need_n also_o of_o such_o consideration_n as_o these_o and_o there_o be_v time_n when_o almighty_a god_n will_v try_v they_o nay_o it_o will_v seem_v as_o if_o this_o divine_a majesty_n will_v forsake_v they_o for_o as_o i_o have_v say_v already_o and_o i_o will_v fain_o not_o have_v it_o be_v forget_v the_o soul_n in_o this_o life_n which_o we_o live_v increase_v not_o as_o the_o body_n do_v though_o yet_o we_o say_v it_o do_v and_o real_o it_o do_v increase_v but_o yet_o a_o child_n after_o he_o be_v grow_v and_o become_v tall_a and_o prove_v to_o be_v already_o a_o man_n return_v not_o to_o decrease_v again_o and_o to_o have_v a_o little_a body_n yet_o now_o in_o the_o point_n of_o a_o soul_n our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o be_v otherwise_o by_o what_o i_o have_v see_v of_o myself_o for_o i_o know_v it_o not_o in_o respect_n of_o other_o and_o it_o ought_v to_o humble_v we_o for_o our_o own_o great_a good_a and_o to_o the_o end_n also_o that_o we_o may_v not_o be_v negligent_a as_o 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have_v no_o hand_n therein_o and_o though_o they_o shall_v even_o return_v to_o fall_v again_o there_o will_v yet_o remain_v one_o sign_n that_o our_o lord_n have_v be_v there_o which_o be_v that_o they_o will_v quick_o rise_v again_o beside_o these_o other_o which_o i_o shall_v now_o declare_v when_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n there_o will_v be_v no_o need_n at_o all_o to_o go_v in_o quest_n and_o send_v after_o certain_a reason_n to_o draw_v humility_n and_o confusion_n from_o thence_o for_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o be_v wont_a to_o impart_v it_o in_o those_o case_n after_o a_o very_a different_a manner_n from_o that_o which_o ourselves_o can_v procure_v by_o any_o pretty_a little_a consideration_n of_o our_o own_o all_o which_o be_v nothing_o in_o comparison_n of_o a_o certain_a true_a prayer_n humility_n that_o come_v along_o with_o a_o light_n which_o our_o lord_n instruct_v we_o in_o here_o and_o which_o breed_v such_o a_o real_a confusion_n in_o we_o as_o even_o do_v entire_o defeat_v us._n and_o the_o knowledge_n which_o almighty_a god_n be_v wont_a to_o give_v we_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v perfect_o understand_v that_o we_o have_v no_o good_a at_o all_o of_o ourselves_o be_v a_o thing_n very_o sufficient_o perceive_v and_o still_o so_o much_o the_o more_o as_o we_o receive_v the_o high_a favour_n from_o his_o hand_n it_o also_o impart_v to_o a_o man_n a_o very_a great_a desire_n to_o proceed_v in_o prayer_n and_o he_o will_v not_o give_v it_o over_o for_o any_o trouble_n which_o may_v possible_o succeed_v to_o he_o he_o offer_v himself_o and_o be_v ready_a to_o endure_v all_o thing_n he_o have_v also_o a_o kind_n of_o assure_a hope_n that_o he_o shall_v be_v save_v though_o yet_o still_o not_o without_o humility_n and_o fear_n by_o this_o time_n he_o also_o instant_o forsake_v all_o kind_n of_o servile_a fear_n of_o his_o soul_n and_o it_o give_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o growth_n to_o a_o filial_a fear_n in_o stead_n thereof_o he_o see_v that_o now_o he_o begin_v to_o bear_v a_o certain_a love_n towards_o almighty_a god_n which_o be_v far_o from_o any_o interest_n of_o his_o own_o &_o he_o covet_v to_o get_v time_n for_o solitude_n that_o so_o he_o may_v have_v the_o better_a opportunity_n to_o enjoy_v that_o good_a in_o fine_a that_o i_o may_v not_o weary_v myself_o too_o much_o this_o be_v a_o direct_a beginning_n of_o all_o good_a thing_n a_o state_n wherein_o the_o flower_n be_v now_o upon_o the_o very_a point_n to_o blossom_n and_o all_o this_o the_o soul_n see_v very_o clear_o and_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n at_o that_o time_n conceive_v but_o that_o god_n be_v and_o will_v be_v with_o she_o till_o such_o time_n as_o she_o shall_v return_v to_o find_v herself_o guilty_a of_o fayling_n and_o imperfection_n towards_o he_o for_o in_o that_o case_n she_o fear_v all_o thing_n and_o it_o be_v fit_a that_o she_o do_v so_o though_o yet_o there_o be_v mind_n soul_n in_o the_o world_n to_o which_o it_o 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right_a in_o this_o kind_n for_o beside_o the_o experience_n which_o i_o have_v whereby_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v many_o thing_n i_o know_v somewhat_o by_o mean_n of_o some_o learned_a man_n who_o indeed_o be_v very_o learned_a and_o of_o some_o person_n be_v also_o who_o be_v very_o holy_a to_o who_o it_o be_v great_a reason_n to_o give_v beleif_n and_o therefore_o let_v not_o other_o soul_n be_v so_o very_a much_o afflict_v and_o vex_v as_o i_o have_v be_v when_o once_o through_o the_o goodness_n of_o almighty_a god_n they_o shall_v be_v come_v on_o so_o far_o as_o to_o find_v themselves_o in_o this_o state_n the_o sixteen_o chapter_n she_o treat_v of_o the_o three_o degree_n of_o prayer_n and_o go_v declare_v some_o very_a high_a point_n and_o what_o a_o soul_n which_o arrive_v thus_o far_o may_v be_v able_a to_o do_v and_o what_o effect_n these_o so_o great_a favour_n of_o our_o lord_n be_v accustom_v to_o work_n the_o sense_n hereof_o be_v very_o fit_a to_o raise_v the_o spirit_n high_a in_o the_o praise_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o it_o be_v also_o of_o great_a consolation_n for_o the_o soul_n which_o arrive_v to_o this_o state_n let_v we_o now_o come_v to_o speak_v of_o the_o three_o water_n wherewith_o this_o garden_n be_v water_v for_o this_o be_v a_o run_a water_n of_o a_o river_n or_o spring_n and_o it_o water_v it_o with_o much_o less_o labour_n though_o yet_o the_o distribution_n thereof_o cause_v some_o our_o lord_n will_v here_o so_o help_v the_o gardener_n that_o in_o some_o sort_n he_o will_v be_v as_o it_o be_v the_o gardener_n himself_o and_o in_o effect_n the_o doer_n of_o all_o this_o be_v
a_o sweet_a repose_n or_o sleep_v of_o all_o the_o power_n which_o be_v yet_o neither_o total_o lose_v nor_o yet_o do_v they_o know_v how_o they_o work_v this_o gust_n and_o delight_n and_o suavitie_n be_v great_a beyond_o all_o comparison_n than_o the_o former_a for_o the_o water_n of_o this_o grace_n gets-up_a to_o the_o very_a throat_n of_o the_o soul_n in_o such_o sort_n that_o now_o it_o can_v go_v forward_o nor_o know_v how_o to_o do_v it_o nor_o yet_o will_v by_o any_o mean_n return_v backward_o but_o enjoy_v a_o excessive_a kind_n of_o glory_n it_o be_v as_o when_o a_o man_n be_v already_o with_o the_o holy_a die_v candle_n in_o his_o hand_n so_o that_o now_o there_o want_v very_o little_a of_o die_v but_o it_o be_v of_o that_o very_a death_n which_o be_v desire_v for_o she_o be_v enjoy_v the_o great_a delight_n that_o can_v be_v imagine_v in_o that_o agony_n of_o she_o and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o even_o to_o die_v as_o it_o be_v entire_o to_o all_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n and_o to_o be_v enjoy_v almighty_a god_n for_o my_o part_n i_o can_v think_v of_o no_o other_o term_n wherewith_o to_o express_v it_o or_o declare_v it_o nor_o know_v the_o soul_n at_o that_o time_n what_o to_o do_v nor_o whether_o she_o shall_v speak_v or_o be_v silent_a or_o laugh_v or_o weep_v mind_n it_o be_v a_o glorious_a kind_n of_o frenzy_n and_o a_o celestial_a kind_n of_o folly_n where_o yet_o true_a wisdom_n be_v learn_v and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o delightful_a manner_n of_o enjoy_v for_o the_o soul_n in_o a_o superlative_a degree_n it_o be_v true_a that_o it_o may_v be_v about_o some_o five_o or_o six_o year_n since_o first_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o allow_v i_o this_o kind_n of_o prayer_n often_o and_o in_o great_a abundance_n and_o that_o i_o neither_o do_v either_o perfect_o understand_v it_o nor_o yet_o can_v exact_o declare_v it_o and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o make_v account_v when_o i_o be_v come_v hither_o that_o i_o can_v say_v 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that_o it_o be_v not_o only_o in_o some_o sort_n a_o different_a but_o also_o a_o great_a kind_n of_o thing_n than_o those_o other_o which_o work_n upon_o the_o only_o spirit_n import_n for_o though_o in_o those_o other_o visitation_n also_o there_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o total_a untie_n and_o loosen_v itself_o from_o all_o thing_n for_o as_o much_o as_o concern_v the_o spirit_n yet_o here_o it_o seem_v our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o even_o the_o body_n also_o itself_o shall_v put_v this_o point_n in_o practice_n and_o it_o breed_v in_o any_o creature_n such_o a_o new_a kind_n of_o shynesse_n and_o mislike_v in_o order_n to_o the_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n that_o it_o make_v even_o our_o very_a life_n much_o the_o more_o painful_a to_o us._n it_o give_v also_o such_o another_o book_n pain_n as_o we_o can_v neither_o tell_v how_o to_o procure_v when_o we_o have_v it_o not_o nor_o free_v ourselves_o from_o the_o same_o when_o we_o have_v it_o and_o i_o will_v be_v extreme_o glad_a 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hereafter_o of_o those_o great_a impetuosity_n which_o they_o use_v to_o bring_v upon_o i_o before_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o give_v i_o those_o rapt_n yet_o they_o have_v in_o my_o opinion_n no_o more_o to_o do_v by_o way_n of_o comparison_n one_o with_o another_o than_o there_o be_v between_o thing_n corporal_a and_o spiritual_a and_o i_o believe_v that_o i_o do_v not_o exaggerate_v the_o matter_n a_o whitt_n by_o say_v so_o because_o that_o pain_n seem_v to_o be_v such_o as_o that_o although_o the_o soul_n do_v feel_v it_o yet_o it_o feel_v it_o
benediction_n and_o he_o will_v address_v your_o life_n by_o your_o meditation_n upon_o he_o for_o he_o be_v the_o best_a original_a and_o pattern_n which_o we_o can_v possible_o have_v and_o indeed_o what_o can_v we_o desire_v more_o then_o to_o have_v so_o perfect_a a_o friend_n at_o hand_n who_o will_v never_o give_v we_o over_o in_o our_o affliction_n and_o tribalation_n as_o they_o of_o this_o world_n be_v wont_a to_o do_v most_o bless_a be_v that_o man_n who_o love_v he_o with_o all_o sincerity_n of_o truth_n and_o who_o be_v always_o carry_v he_o close_o to_o himself_o let_v we_o look_v upon_o the_o glorious_a s._n paul_n who_o seem_v as_o if_o he_o can_v not_o suffer_v that_o ever_o the_o name_n of_o jesus_n shall_v be_v able_a to_o fall_v often_o enough_o from_o his_o mouth_n as_o one_o who_o do_v not_o fail_v to_o carry_v it_o well_o imprint_v upon_o his_o hart_n and_o since_o i_o understand_v of_o that_o other_o abstract_a course_n whereof_o i_o speak_v i_o have_v reflect_v 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when_o he_o shall_v find_v her_o strong_a he_o will_v take_v she_o up_o with_o he_o to_o the_o desert_n so_o that_o your_o reverence_n shall_v do_v well_o to_o keep_v yourself_o in_o this_o way_n till_o you_o meet_v with_o some_o other_o who_o may_v have_v more_o experience_n than_o i_o and_o may_v know_v it_o better_o only_o if_o they_o be_v person_n who_o be_v but_o beginning_n to_o have_v gust_n in_o almighty_a god_n do_v not_o believe_v they_o for_o they_o conceive_v that_o they_o profit_v themselves_o more_o and_o have_v more_o gust_n when_o they_o help_v themselves_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o be_v declare_v before_o o_o how_o almighty_a god_n come_v clear_o and_o open_o enough_o in_o without_o these_o little_a pretty_a help_n when_o he_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o it_o and_o so_o as_o that_o whether_o we_o will_v or_o no_o he_o elevate_v and_o hurries-away_a the_o spirit_n even_o as_o some_o giant_n will_v dispose_v of_o a_o straw_n and_o so_o as_o that_o no_o resistance_n can_v be_v 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our_o lord_n we_o must_v remember_v the_o love_n wherewith_o he_o do_v we_o so_o many_o favour_n and_o now_o great_o almighty_a god_n be_v please_v to_o show_v it_o to_o we_o by_o give_v we_o so_o high_a a_o pledge_n and_o pawn_v of_o his_o love_n for_o one_o love_n beget_v and_o breed_v another_o and_o though_o we_o shall_v he_o mere_a poor_a beginner_n in_o this_o holy_a exercise_n and_o though_o we_o shall_v withal_o be_v very_o wicked_a yet_o let_v we_o still_o procure_v to_o be_v look_v upon_o this_o object_n and_o still_o be_v stir_v ourselves_o up_o to_o love_v for_o if_o once_o our_o bless_a lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o imprint_v this_o love_n into_o our_o heart_n all_o thing_n will_v grow_v easy_a to_o we_o and_o we_o shall_v quick_o fall_v to_o work_v and_o that_o without_o any_o trouble_n to_o ourselves_o at_o all_o i_o beseech_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o he_o will_v vouchsafe_v to_o bestow_v it_o upon_o we_o since_o he_o know_v how_o very_o much_o the_o same_o import_v 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which_o i_o feel_v to_o be_v so_o very_o great_a yea_o and_o that_o many_o time_n it_o be_v such_o that_o i_o can_v not_o avoid_v it_o though_o yet_o withal_o on_o the_o other_o side_n i_o see_v cause_n of_o very_o great_a security_n that_o it_o be_v god_n especial_o when_o i_o be_v in_o prayer_n and_o i_o find_v also_o that_o i_o be_v much_o better_v by_o it_o and_o still_o remain_v with_o more_o strength_n of_o mind_n towards_o virtue_n but_o yet_o whensoever_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v a_o little_a divert_v i_o return_v again_o to_o fear_n whether_o the_o devil_n may_v not_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o make_v i_o conceive_v that_o it_o be_v good_a for_o i_o to_o suspend_v the_o use_n of_o my_o understanding_n and_o so_o deprive_v myself_o of_o the_o exercise_n of_o mental_a prayer_n and_o that_o i_o may_v not_o be_v able_a to_o think_v upon_o the_o passion_n of_o christ_n our_o lord_n nor_o to_o serve_v myself_o as_o i_o be_v say_v of_o my_o understanding_n part_n which_o seem_v to_o i_o a_o 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great_o feel_v every_o offence_n which_o i_o may_v commit_v against_o almighty_a god_n how_o light_n or_o small_a soever_o the_o same_o may_v be_v in_o such_o sort_n and_o to_o so_o high_a a_o proportion_n as_o that_o if_o i_o do_v but_o wear_v any_o one_o little_a superfluous_a thing_n about_o i_o i_o be_v not_o able_a to_o recollect_v myself_o till_o i_o have_v put_v it_o off_o i_o make_v much_o prayer_n to_o our_o bless_a lord_n that_o he_o will_v be_v please_v to_o protect_v i_o still_o and_o that_o since_o i_o converse_v and_o treat_v the_o business_n of_o my_o soul_n with_o his_o servant_n he_o will_v never_o permit_v that_o i_o shall_v return_v back_o again_o for_o i_o conceive_v that_o that_o will_v be_v a_o strange_a offence_n in_o i_o yea_o and_o that_o even_o they_o will_v grow_v to_o loose_a credit_n by_o it_o upon_o my_o occasion_n at_o this_o time_n come_v to_o this_o place_n father_n francis_n borgia_n who_o have_v be_v duke_n of_o gandia_n and_o who_o already_o some_o 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the_o say_a society_n and_o she_o draw_v i_o also_o to_o confess_v to_o her_o confessarius_fw-la i_o remain_v a_o good_a while_n in_o her_o house_n for_o she_o live_v near_o i_o and_o i_o be_v glad_a to_o treat_v much_o with_o those_o father_n for_o even_o by_o the_o only_a understanding_n which_o i_o come_v to_o have_v of_o the_o sanctity_n of_o their_o conversation_n and_o way_n of_o proceed_v the_o profit_n which_o my_o soul_n find_v and_o feel_v be_v great_a this_o father_n begin_v to_o address_v i_o and_o engage_v i_o upon_o way_n of_o more_o perfection_n he_o tell_v i_o that_o for_o the_o give_v almighty_a god_n entire_a contentment_n and_o gust_n there_o be_v nothing_o to_o be_v lest_o undo_v but_o this_o man_n he_o say_v with_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o prudence_n and_o sweetness_n for_o my_o soul_n be_v not_o yet_o any_o thing_n strong_a but_o green_a and_o tender_a especial_o in_o the_o point_n of_o giving-ove_a certain_a freindships_n which_o i_o maintain_v at_o that_o time_n 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please_v in_o that_o very_a moment_n for_o it_o seem_v no_o more_o to_o i_o than_o a_o very_a moment_n to_o make_v this_o servant_n of_o he_o become_v whole_o another_o creature_n than_o what_o she_o have_v be_v so_o that_o now_o there_o be_v no_o long_a need_n that_o they_o shall_v command_v i_o in_o that_o particular_a any_o more_o for_o when_o my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v find_v i_o to_o be_v so_o fix_v upon_o this_o point_n he_o have_v not_o yet_o adventure_v to_o will_v i_o express_o to_o do_v it_o for_o he_o do_v without_o all_o doubt_n expect_v that_o our_o lord_n shall_v be_v please_v to_o
have_v any_o experience_n will_v find_v that_o every_o word_n of_o this_o which_o i_o have_v say_v be_v literal_o certain_a and_o i_o bless_v almighty_a god_n for_o enable_v i_o to_o declare_v it_o as_o i_o have_v do_v and_o now_o i_o end_v this_o part_n of_o the_o discourse_n with_o say_v that_o i_o think_v when_o such_o word_n proceed_v from_o our_o own_o understanding_n we_o may_v easy_o come_v to_o know_v it_o if_o we_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o it_o and_o every_o time_n that_o we_o be_v in_o prayer_n we_o shall_v conceive_v that_o we_o understand_v they_o but_o in_o this_o other_o kind_n of_o word_n or_o speech_n it_o be_v not_o so_o for_o it_o will_v be_v many_o day_n wherein_o though_o i_o shall_v desire_v to_o understand_v somewhat_o of_o that_o kind_n it_o will_v be_v absolute_o impossible_a and_o when_o at_o other_o time_n i_o have_v no_o thought_n that_o way_n i_o must_v yet_o understand_v it_o as_o i_o have_v say_v and_o i_o think_v that_o whosoever_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o deceive_v other_o affirm_v himself_o to_o understand_v that_o from_o almighty_a god_n which_o be_v from_o himself_o may_v as_o well_o and_o it_o will_v cost_v he_o as_o little_a affirm_v that_o he_o hear_v it_o with_o his_o ear_n and_o it_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a and_o real_a truth_n that_o for_o my_o part_n i_o never_o think_v that_o there_o be_v any_o other_o way_n then_o that_o for_o the_o hear_n and_o understand_v any_o thing_n till_o i_o find_v in_o my_o own_o case_n that_o this_o which_o i_o have_v now_o deliver_v be_v true_a and_o it_o have_v cost_v i_o as_o i_o say_v much_o trouble_n when_o these_o thing_n proceed_v of_o the_o devil_n they_o do_v not_o only_o not_o work_v any_o good_a effect_n but_o leave_v also_o very_o ill_o one_o behind_o they_o but_o this_o have_v not_o happen_v to_o i_o above_o twice_o or_o thrice_o and_o i_o have_v instant_o be_v advertise_v by_o our_o lord_n that_o they_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n and_o beside_o the_o great_a dryness_n which_o they_o leave_v behind_o they_o they_o also_o give_v the_o soul_n much_o disquiet_n after_o the_o manner_n of_o those_o many_o other_o time_n when_o our_o lord_n have_v permit_v i_o to_o have_v great_a temptation_n and_o trouble_n of_o soul_n in_o different_a kind_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v often_o be_v torment_v as_o i_o will_v declare_v hereafter_o but_o this_o be_v a_o certain_a kind_n of_o disquiet_n of_o which_o we_o know_v not_o how_o to_o understand_v from_o whence_o it_o come_v but_o it_o seem_v that_o the_o soul_n resist_v it_o and_o be_v put_v into_o great_a disorder_n by_o it_o and_o be_v afflict_v without_o know_v for_o what_o in_o regard_n that_o the_o devil_n say_v that_o such_o or_o such_o a_o thing_n be_v not_o ill_o but_o good_a i_o conceive_v that_o if_o one_o spirit_n may_v be_v able_a to_o find_v and_o feel_v another_o the_o gust_n and_o delight_n which_o this_o diabolical_a spirit_n give_v be_v different_a in_o my_o opinion_n from_o the_o other_o after_o a_o most_o evident_a manner_n the_o devil_n may_v well_o deceive_v some_o such_o person_n by_o give_v he_o gust_n as_o never_o receive_v any_o before_o from_o almighty_a god_n for_o these_o latter_a be_v gust_n indeed_o which_o import_v a_o sweet_a strong_a well-imprinted_n quiet_a delightful_a kind_n of_o pleasure_n and_o joy_n for_o as_o for_o those_o little_a pretty_a devotion_n of_o the_o soul_n and_o certain_a other_o slight_a feeling_n which_o be_v like_o little_a young_a flower_n that_o be_v shake_v off_o and_o lose_v upon_o the_o least_o little_a wind_n of_o persecution_n i_o do_v not_o call_v they_o devotion_n though_o yet_o they_o be_v good_a beginning_n and_o holy_a motion_n but_o no_o way_n sufficient_a to_o determine_v whether_o the_o effect_n proceed_v from_o a_o good_a spirit_n or_o a_o bad_a and_o therefore_o it_o will_v be_v very_o necessary_a to_o walk_v in_o this_o kind_n of_o thing_n with_o huge_a caution_n for_o such_o person_n as_o shall_v not_o have_v proceed_v further_o in_o prayer_n than_o thus_o far_o may_v easy_o grow_v to_o be_v deceive_v if_o they_o fall_v out_o to_o have_v vision_n or_o revelation_n for_o my_o part_n i_o never_o have_v of_o these_o last_o till_o god_n through_o his_o own_o only_o goodness_n give_v i_o prayer_n of_o union_n unless_o it_o be_v that_o first_o time_n whereof_o i_o speak_v and_o it_o happen_v to_o i_o many_o year_n ago_o when_o i_o see_v christ_n our_o lord_n and_o i_o will_v to_o god_n it_o have_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o i_o have_v understand_v at_o that_o time_n that_o it_o be_v a_o true_a vision_n as_o i_o understand_v it_o to_o be_v afterward_o for_o it_o will_v not_o have_v be_v of_o small_a advantage_n to_o i_o but_o now_o upon_o these_o illusion_n of_o the_o devil_n there_o never_o grow_v any_o sweetness_n or_o softness_n and_o suppleness_n to_o the_o soul_n but_o she_o remain_v as_o if_o she_o be_v fright_v and_o with_o much_o disgust_n and_o i_o hold_v it_o for_o very_o certain_a that_o almighty_a god_n will_v never_o permit_v the_o devil_n to_o deceive_v any_o soul_n which_o put_v no_o confidence_n at_o all_o in_o herself_o and_o which_o be_v fortify_v in_o the_o right_a faith_n and_o resolve_v thus_o much_o for_o her_o part_n that_o she_o will_v die_v a_o thousand_o death_n for_o the_o least_o article_n thereof_o and_o who_o together_o with_o this_o love_n and_o faith_n be_v infuse_v into_o the_o soul_n by_o almighty_a god_n which_o be_v a_o livelie_a and_o strong_a faith_n indeed_o procure_v always_o to_o go_v in_o conformity_n with_o that_o which_o be_v teach_v by_o the_o holy_a catholic_a church_n inform_v herself_o further_o by_o several_a way_n as_o a_o person_n who_o be_v strong_o seat_v in_o this_o truth_n that_o all_o the_o imaginable_a revelation_n of_o the_o whole_a world_n no_o not_o if_o she_o shall_v see_v the_o very_a heaven_n open_v themselves_o can_v make_v she_o vary_v in_o the_o least_o point_n from_o the_o doctrine_n and_o decree_n of_o the_o say_a church_n but_o if_o she_o once_o come_v so_o far_o as_o but_o to_o shake_v or_o waver_v even_o in_o one_o single_a thought_n against_o this_o or_o entertain_v herself_o so_o far_o as_o to_o say_v but_o now_o if_o god_n himself_o say_v thus_o to_o i_o as_o he_o have_v say_v such_o other_o thing_n to_o saint_n this_o may_v also_o be_v true_a i_o say_v not_o that_o she_o believe_v it_o but_o that_o the_o devil_n begin_v to_o tempt_v she_o by_o this_o motion_n and_o that_o she_o be_v content_a to_o continue_v herself_o a_o little_a therein_o a_o body_n may_v see_v already_o that_o this_o be_v stark_o naught_o but_o for_o my_o part_n i_o believe_v that_o many_o time_n even_o these_o other_o first_o motion_n will_v hardly_o ever_o come_v so_o far_o as_o even_o but_o to_o set_v upon_o such_o a_o soul_n if_o she_o be_v already_o so_o strong_a as_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v wont_a to_o have_v make_v such_o as_o to_o who_o he_o use_v to_o impart_v these_o favour_n for_o i_o think_v she_o may_v be_v able_a to_o tear_v those_o devil_n even_o to_o fitter_n whensoever_o there_o may_v be_v question_n of_o any_o one_o single_a little_a truth_n which_o the_o church_n hold_v i_o say_v that_o if_o the_o soul_n do_v not_o find_v such_o a_o strength_n as_o this_o in_o herself_o and_o that_o the_o devotion_n or_o vision_n which_o she_o have_v do_v not_o assist_v and_o help_v her-on_a therein_o let_v she_o not_o hold_v any_o such_o vision_n for_o safe_a because_o though_o the_o hurt_n of_o it_o be_v not_o instant_o understand_v it_o may_v perhaps_o grow_v by_o little_a and_o little_a to_o be_v great_a for_o to_o the_o uttermost_a of_o what_o i_o can_v discern_v and_o know_v by_o experience_n the_o reputation_n and_o credit_n that_o such_o a_o thing_n be_v of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n be_v settle_v and_o assure_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o it_o also_o go_v in_o conformity_n to_o holy_a scripture_n and_o when_o it_o shall_v be_v find_v to_o vary_v from_o this_o rule_n though_o it_o be_v never_o so_o little_a i_o think_v i_o shall_v be_v then_o much_o more_o sure_a without_o comparison_n that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n than_o now_o i_o have_v assurance_n that_o it_o be_v of_o almighty_a god_n how_o great_a soever_o i_o may_v find_v that_o assurance_n to_o be_v for_o in_o that_o case_n we_o shall_v have_v no_o need_n at_o all_o to_o go_v in_o search_n after_o sign_n nor_o to_o inquire_v of_o what_o spirit_n it_o be_v since_o this_o be_v so_o clear_a a_o sign_n to_o make_v we_o believe_v that_o it_o be_v of_o the_o devil_n that_o if_o all_o the_o world_n shall_v endeavour_v to_o assure_v i_o that_o it_o be_v of_o god_n i_o will_v not_o believe_v it_o
i_o let_v the_o devil_n of_o hell_n torment_v i_o yea_o let_v all_o creature_n persecute_v i_o but_o only_o be_v not_o thou_o want_v to_o i_o o_o my_o dear_a lord_n for_o i_o know_v by_o good_a experience_n with_o how_o much_o advantage_n and_o fruit_n thou_o deliver_v all_o such_o person_n as_o put_v their_o confidence_n in_o thou_o alone_o for_o when_o i_o be_v in_o this_o great_a and_o miserable_a affliction_n of_o spirit_n at_o a_o time_n when_o i_o have_v not_o enjoy_v any_o one_o vision_n at_o all_o these_o only_a few_o lord_n follow_a word_n be_v sufficient_a to_o free_v i_o from_o all_o trouble_n and_o to_o quiet_v i_o entire_o fear_v not_o o_o my_o daughter_n for_o it_o be_v i_o and_o i_o will_v not_o forsake_v thou_o do_v not_o fear_v it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o consider_v what_o kind_n of_o creature_n i_o be_v then_o there_o will_v have_v be_v need_n of_o a_o long_a time_n to_o persuade_v i_o to_o quiet_v myself_o and_o that_o no_o body_n will_v have_v be_v able_a to_o do_v it_o and_o yet_o now_o behold_v i_o here_o all_o quiet_v and_o compose_v by_o these_o few_o word_n and_o i_o be_v endue_v with_o strength_n with_o courage_n &_o with_o security_n which_o be_v accompany_v with_o a_o kind_n of_o repose_n and_o light_n in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o at_o that_o very_a instant_n i_o see_v my_o soul_n become_v a_o direct_a other_o thing_n than_o it_o be_v before_o and_o i_o think_v i_o can_v even_o have_v dispute_v against_o the_o whole_a world_n in_o proof_n that_o this_o proceed_v from_o almighty_a god_n o_o what_o a_o good_a dear_a god_n be_v this_o o_o what_o a_o good_a dear_a lord_n be_v he_o and_o how_o very_o powerful_a for_o not_o only_o do_v he_o give_v the_o counsel_n but_o the_o remedy_n also_o his_o very_a word_n be_v work_n and_o o_o how_o do_v he_o both_o strengthen_v our_o faith_n and_o increase_v our_o love_n it_o be_v real_o very_o true_a that_o i_o often_o call_v to_o mind_n how_o our_o lord_n have_v command_v the_o wind_n to_o compose_v and_o quiet_a themselves_o at_o sea_n when_o a_o tempest_n have_v be_v raise_v and_o so_o also_o do_v i_o say_v who_o be_v this_o who_o all_o the_o power_n of_o my_o soul_n obey_v and_o who_o at_o a_o instant_n brings-in_a light_n to_o chase_v so_o great_a a_o obscurity_n away_o and_o make_v that_o hart_n grow_v soft_a and_o supple_a which_o seem_v to_o have_v the_o very_a hardness_n of_o stone_n and_o know_v how_o to_o drive_v and_o draw-downe_a the_o water_n of_o sweet_a tear_n where_o there_o be_v so_o great_a a_o drought_n so_o long_o before_o who_o be_v he_o that_o can_v inspire_v these_o desire_n who_o can_v imprint_v such_o a_o courage_n what_o be_v i_o about_o to_o doubt_v and_o what_o can_v i_o fear_v what_o be_v this_o i_o desire_v to_o serve_v this_o lord_n and_o i_o pretend_v no_o other_o thing_n then_o to_o please_v he_o i_o renounce_v all_o contentment_n and_o ease_n or_o any_o other_o good_a at_o all_o but_o only_o the_o accomplish_n of_o his_o will._n for_o of_o this_o i_o be_v very_o sure_a in_o my_o opinion_n and_o that_o i_o may_v safe_o affirm_v it_o that_o since_o this_o lord_n be_v so_o powerful_a as_o i_o see_v he_o be_v and_o as_o i_o know_v he_o be_v and_o that_o all_o the_o devil_n of_o hell_n be_v his_o slave_n and_o of_o this_o there_o can_v be_v no_o doubt_n since_o it_o be_v matter_n of_o faith_n and_o i_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o this_o lord_n and_o king_n what_o hurt_n can_v they_o all_o be_v able_a to_o do_v i_o and_o why_o may_v not_o i_o have_v strength_n enough_o to_o fight_v with_o all_o the_o power_n of_o hell_n i_o then_o take_v a_o cross_n into_o my_o hand_n and_o real_o i_o think_v god_n give_v i_o courage_n to_o conceive_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v short_o another_o kind_n of_o woman_n and_o that_o i_o be_v not_o to_o be_v afraid_a to_o wrestle_v a_o fall_n with_o the_o devil_n devil_n but_o conceive_v that_o together_o with_o that_o cross_n i_o shall_v be_v easy_o able_a to_o overcome_v they_o all_o yea_o and_o once_o i_o provoke_v they_o thus_o come_v towards_o i_o as_o many_o of_o you_o as_o dare_v for_o i_o be_v the_o servant_n of_o our_o lord_n will_v see_v what_o you_o all_o can_v do_v against_o i_o and_o it_o be_v most_o certain_a that_o i_o think_v they_o be_v afraid_a of_o i_o and_o for_o my_o part_n i_o remain_v so_o in_o quiet_a and_o so_o total_o without_o fear_n of_o they_o all_o that_o all_o the_o fear_n which_o i_o have_v former_o conceive_v till_o that_o very_o present_a time_n be_v remove_v from_o i_o for_o though_o i_o see_v they_o sometime_o as_o i_o shall_v declare_v afterward_o yet_o i_o never_o fear_v they_o more_o but_o conceive_v that_o they_o be_v rather_o afraid_a of_o i_o i_o possess_v a_o dominion_n over_o they_o which_o have_v be_v give_v i_o by_o the_o lord_n of_o all_o creature_n and_o i_o make_v no_o more_o reckon_n of_o they_o then_o of_o so_o many_o fly_n and_o they_o seem_v to_o be_v of_o so_o cowardly_a a_o nature_n that_o when_o once_o they_o come_v to_o find_v that_o they_o be_v not_o esteem_v they_o have_v no_o power_n at_o all_o for_o this_o kind_n of_o enemy_n know_v not_o how_o to_o set_v upon_o any_o one_o who_o render_v not_o himself_o up_o to_o they_o or_o else_o when_o almighty_a god_n permitt_v for_o the_o great_a good_a of_o his_o servant_n that_o they_o may_v tempt_v and_o torment_v they_o i_o will_v to_o god_n it_o may_v please_v his_o divine_a majesty_n that_o we_o will_v fear_v who_o indeed_o we_o ought_v to_o fear_v and_o that_o we_o may_v perfect_o understand_v that_o we_o shall_v receive_v more_o prejudice_n by_o commit_v any_o truth_n one_o single_a venial_a sin_n then_o by_o all_o the_o power_n of_o hell_n put_v together_o for_o this_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n how_o extreme_o do_v these_o devil_n carry_v we_o fright_v up_o and_o down_o because_o ourselves_o indeed_o will_v needs_o give_v occasion_n thereof_o by_o our_o be_v so_o close_o fasten_v as_o we_o be_v to_o our_o honour_n to_o our_o estate_n and_o to_o our_o delight_n for_o then_o we_o be_v join_v together_o with_o these_o impediment_n by_o love_v and_o desire_v to_o possess_v they_o who_o be_v our_o contrary_n &_o who_o we_o ought_v to_o abhor_v they_o grow_v able_a to_o do_v we_o much_o hurt_n for_o we_o enable_v they_o to_o fight_v against_o our_o very_a self_n with_o our_o own_o weapon_n which_o we_o put_v into_o their_o hand_n though_o indeed_o we_o be_v to_o defend_v ourselves_o thereby_o against_o they_o and_o this_o be_v both_o pity_n and_o shame_n but_o now_o if_o on_o the_o other_o side_n we_o shall_v resolve_v to_o abhor_v all_o those_o thing_n for_o the_o love_n of_o our_o lord_n and_o embrace_v his_o cross_n and_o pitch_n upon_o do_v he_o service_n in_o good_a earnest_n he_o fly_v as_o fast_v away_o from_o these_o solid_a truth_n as_o a_o man_n will_v do_v from_o the_o plague_n in_o fine_a he_o be_v a_o friend_n of_o lie_n yea_o and_o a_o very_a lie_n himself_o he_o be_v easy_o keep_v from_o meddle_v much_o with_o such_o person_n as_o walk_v entire_o according_a to_o truth_n but_o when_o once_o he_o can_v discover_v that_o a_o man_n understanding_n grow_v to_o be_v obscure_v he_o have_v a_o particular_a grace_n in_o procure_v to_o break_v the_o very_a string_n of_o his_o eye_n and_o if_o he_o see_v one_o already_o prove_v so_o blind_a as_o that_o he_o will_v needs_o build_v his_o rest_n and_o ease_n upon_o vain_a thing_n and_o so_o vain_a as_o that_o be_v thing_n of_o this_o world_n they_o be_v no_o better_o than_o toy_n fit_a for_o child_n he_o find_v already_o that_o such_o a_o person_n be_v a_o very_a child_n and_o so_o he_o treat_v he_o like_o such_o a_o one_o and_o wrestle_v with_o he_o more_o or_o less_o as_o he_o see_v cause_n i_o beseech_v our_o bless_a lord_n that_o i_o may_v never_o prove_v to_o be_v one_o of_o these_o but_o that_o his_o divine_a majesty_n may_v be_v please_v to_o do_v i_o so_o much_o favour_n as_o that_o i_o may_v understand_v that_o to_o be_v ease_n and_o rest_n which_o be_v indeed_o true_a ease_n and_o rest_n and_o that_o to_o be_v honour_n which_o be_v true_a honour_n &_o delight_n which_o be_v true_a delight_n and_o not_o the_o direct_a contrary_n to_o all_o this_o and_o then_o a_o fig_n for_o all_o the_o devil_n in_o hell_n for_o then_o they_o shall_v be_v all_o of_o they_o afraid_a of_o i_o for_o my_o part_n i_o understand_v not_o those_o fear_n of_o the_o devil_n and_o the_o devil_n and_o i_o know_v not_o what_o when_o we_o may_v be_v able_a to_o say_v god_n and_o god_n etc._n etc._n
away_o as_o much_o as_o it_o have_v touch_v within_o i_o and_o leave_v all_o that_o which_o remain_v whole_o inflame_v with_o a_o great_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n the_o pain_n of_o it_o be_v so_o excessive_a that_o it_o force_v i_o to_o utter_v those_o groan_n and_o the_o suavitie_n which_o that_o extremity_n of_o pain_n give_v be_v also_o so_o very_o excessive_a that_o there_o be_v no_o desire_v at_o all_o to_o be_v ride_v of_o it_o nor_o can_v the_o soul_n then_o receive_v any_o contentment_n at_o all_o in_o less_o than_o god_n almighty_a himself_o this_o be_v no_o corporal_n but_o a_o spiritual_a pain_n though_o yet_o the_o body_n do_v not_o fail_v to_o participate_v some_o part_n thereof_o yea_o and_o that_o not_o a_o little_a and_o it_o be_v such_o a_o dear_a delightful_a kind_n of_o intercourse_n which_o pass_v here_o between_o the_o soul_n and_o almighty_a god_n as_o i_o beseech_v he_o of_o his_o infinite_a goodness_n that_o he_o will_v give_v some_o touch_n or_o taste_v of_o it_o to_o whosoever_o shall_v believe_v that_o i_o lie_v during_o the_o time_n when_o i_o be_v in_o this_o state_n i_o go_v up_o and_o down_o that_o world_n like_o a_o odd_a kind_n of_o transport_a fool_n neither_o care_v i_o either_o to_o see_v any_o thing_n or_o to_o speak_v but_o content_v myself_o to_o consume_v with_o burning-up_a in_o my_o pain_n which_o be_v to_o be_v the_o great_a glory_n for_o i_o that_o this_o whole_a world_n can_v afford_v in_o this_o state_n be_v i_o now_o and_o then_o when_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v that_o these_o so_o very_o great_a rapt_n shall_v come_v upon_o i_o which_o i_o be_v not_o able_a sometime_o to_o resist_v even_o when_o i_o be_v in_o presence_n of_o secular_a people_n and_o so_o they_o grow_v to_o be_v public_a and_o this_o give_v i_o a_o very_a great_a deal_n of_o trouble_n but_o since_o the_o time_n that_o i_o be_o grow_v to_o have_v these_o rapt_n i_o feel_v not_o this_o pain_n so_o much_o as_o that_o other_o whereof_o i_o speak_v before_o though_o yet_o i_o can_v call_v the_o chapter_n to_o mind_n but_o that_o pain_n be_v different_a in_o many_o kind_n and_o of_o more_o value_n also_o than_o this_o or_o rather_o when_o this_o begin_v whereof_o i_o be_o speak_v in_o this_o place_n it_o seem_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v ravish_v and_o run_v away_o as_o it_o be_v with_o the_o soul_n and_o put_v she_o into_o extasis_fw-la out_o of_o hand_n and_o so_o no_o too_o i_o be_v leave_v for_o the_o let_v she_o feel_v any_o pain_n because_o instant_o the_o time_n of_o enjoy_v come_v in_o let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o ever_o who_o vouchsafe_v to_o impart_v so_o high_a favour_n to_o a_o person_n who_o correspond_v with_o he_o so_o ill_o for_o so_o great_a benefit_n the_o thirty_o chapter_n she_o return_v to_o recount_v the_o course_n of_o her_o life_n and_o how_o our_o lord_n give_v remedy_n to_o many_o of_o her_o trouble_n by_o bring_v that_o holy_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n of_o the_o order_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n francis_n to_o the_o place_n where_o she_o be_v and_o she_o declare_v the_o great_a temptation_n and_o inward_a trouble_n which_o sometime_o she_o endure_v but_o now_o when_o i_o come_v to_o observe_v the_o little_a or_o nothing_o which_o i_o be_v able_a to_o effect_v towards_o the_o endure_a of_o those_o so_o great_a impulse_n or_o impetuosity_n whereof_o i_o be_v speak_v i_o grow_v to_o be_v in_o great_a fear_n of_o have_v they_o for_o it_o be_v pass_v any_o power_n of_o i_o to_o understand_v how_o pain_n and_o joy_n may_v be_v possible_o able_a to_o consist_v together_o that_o corporal_a pain_n and_o spiritual_a joy_n can_v be_v compatible_a i_o know_v well_o may_v be_v possible_a enough_o but_o that_o so_o excessive_a a_o spiritual_a pain_n shall_v be_v compatible_a with_o so_o excessive_a a_o spiritual_a gust_n do_v put_v i_o half_o as_o it_o be_v out_o of_o my_o wit_n and_o still_o i_o do_v not_o give-ove_a to_o procure_v to_o resist_v the_o arrival_n thereof_o though_o yet_o i_o have_v so_o little_a power_n that_o way_n that_o sometime_o i_o grow_v weary_a even_o of_o the_o endeavour_n i_o defend_v myself_o by_o the_o cross_n and_o so_o procure_v to_o help_v myself_o by_o that_o mean_n from_o he_o who_o give_v we_o all_o defence_n and_o succour_n by_o the_o same_o cross_n i_o see_v that_o no_o creature_n understand_v i_o and_o this_o i_o understand_v very_o clear_o though_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o say_v so_o to_o any_o body_n but_o my_o ghostly_a father_n for_o that_o indeed_o may_v have_v authorise_v they_o to_o say_v true_o that_o i_o want_v humility_n but_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o recover_v i_o from_o a_o great_a part_n of_o my_o trouble_n yea_o and_o even_o at_o that_o time_n from_o it_o all_o by_o bring_v that_o bless_a man_n fray_n pedro_n de_fw-fr alcantara_n thither_o of_o who_o i_o make_v mention_v before_o when_o i_o speak_v somewhat_o of_o his_o great_a penance_n and_o now_o i_o also_o remember_v that_o among_o other_o thing_n i_o have_v be_v inform_v that_o for_o twenty_o year_n together_o he_o have_v wear_v upon_o his_o bare_a body_n a_o certain_a garment_n of_o latin_a in_o form_n of_o a_o hair_n cloth_n this_o man_n be_v the_o author_n of_o certain_a little_a treatise_n concern_v prayer_n write_v in_o spanish_a and_o they_o be_v now_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o many_o for_o he_o as_o be_v a_o person_n who_o have_v accustom_v himself_o much_o to_o that_o holy_a exercise_n write_v very_o profitable_o thereof_o for_o they_o who_o live_v in_o the_o observance_n of_o the_o first_o rule_n of_o the_o bless_a s._n francis_n according_a to_o the_o full_a rigour_n of_o the_o same_o when_o therefore_o a_o certain_a widow_n of_o who_o i_o speak_v else_o where_o who_o be_v a_o great_a servant_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o a_o particular_a friend_n of_o i_o come_v to_o know_v that_o so_o great_a a_o man_n be_v there_o with_o i_o and_o know_v also_o the_o great_a necessity_n wherein_o i_o be_v as_o have_v be_v the_o witness_n of_o my_o affliction_n and_o have_v comfort_v i_o in_o several_a occasion_n for_o her_o faith_n be_v ever_o so_o great_a that_o she_o can_v never_o in_o fine_a believe_v but_o that_o it_o be_v the_o spirit_n of_o almighty_a god_n which_o all_o the_o rest_n will_v needs_o have_v to_o be_v the_o devil_n and_o consider_v also_o that_o she_o be_v a_o person_n of_o very_a good_a understanding_n and_o of_o great_a secrecy_n withal_o and_o one_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n vouchsafe_v to_o do_v great_a favour_n in_o prayer_n his_o divine_a majesty_n be_v please_v to_o give_v her_o knowledge_n of_o those_o thing_n whereof_o they_o who_o be_v learned_a be_v whole_o ignorant_a my_o ghostly_a father_n than_o give_v i_o leave_v that_o i_o may_v ease_v myself_o in_o some_o thing_n with_o she_o for_o she_o be_v capable_a many_o way_n to_o understand_v they_o for_o sometime_o it_o have_v come_v to_o her_o turn_n to_o enjoy_v even_o some_o of_o those_o very_a favour_n which_o our_o lord_n have_v also_o vouchsafe_v to_o afford_v i_o together_o with_o certain_a advertisment_n which_o he_o have_v also_o give_v she_o for_o the_o good_a of_o her_o soul_n but_o now_o as_o soon_o as_o fray_n pedro_n come_v to_o know_v of_o my_o design_n he_o do_v without_o say_v any_o thing_n to_o i_o desire_v and_o get_v leave_v of_o my_o provincial_n that_o i_o may_v remain_v with_o she_o in_o her_o house_n for_o a_o matter_n of_o some_o eight_o day_n and_o so_o both_o there_o and_o in_o several_a church_n i_o speak_v with_o he_o diverse_a time_n in_o that_o first_o occasion_n of_o my_o be_v there_o for_o i_o communicate_v my_o affair_n with_o he_o also_o afterward_o in_o sundry_a occasion_n at_o which_o time_n i_o give_v he_o likewise_o account_v of_o my_o life_n though_o yet_o but_o in_o a_o summarie_a way_n and_o of_o the_o manner_n of_o my_o proceed_n in_o prayer_n and_o this_o with_o the_o great_a claritie_n which_o i_o can_v possible_o use_v for_o this_o property_n i_o ever_o have_v to_o treat_v with_o all_o claritie_n and_o truth_n with_o they_o to_o who_o i_o impart_v my_o soul_n yea_o and_o i_o still_o desire_v that_o even_o the_o first_o motion_n of_o my_o hart_n may_v be_v make_v know_v to_o they_o and_o as_o for_o such_o thing_n as_o may_v be_v subject_a any_o way_n to_o suspicion_n or_o doubt_v i_o still_o be_v wont_a to_o argue_v they_o proceed_v against_o myself_o with_o the_o strong_a reason_n that_o i_o can_v bring_v so_o that_o i_o impart_v my_o soul_n to_o this_o father_n without_o any_o manner_n of_o duplicitie_n or_o disguise_n at_o all_o and_o i_o find_v that_o he_o understand_v i_o almost_o even_o at_o
it_o say_v he_o this_o can_v grow_v but_o from_o one_o of_o these_o two_o occasion_n namely_o that_o either_o it_o be_v because_o they_o will_v murmur_v against_o you_o orel_n for_o that_o they_o will_v praise_v and_o magnifye_v i_o mean_v that_o they_o who_o shall_v believe_v it_o will_v praise_v he_o and_o they_o who_o shall_v not_o believe_v it_o will_v condemn_v i_o though_o yet_o without_o any_o fault_n at_o all_o of_o i_o but_o he_o say_v that_o both_o those_o thing_n will_v prove_v to_o be_v of_o advantage_n to_o i_o and_o that_o therefore_o i_o must_v no_o long_o be_v trouble_v at_o it_o this_o quiet_v i_o very_o much_o then_o and_o it_o also_o comfort_v i_o now_o whensoever_o i_o call_v it_o to_o mind_n this_o temptation_n come_v on_o so_o far_o that_o it_o give_v i_o a_o inclination_n to_o quit_v this_o place_n and_o to_o carry_v my_o fortune_n with_o i_o to_o another_o monastery_n which_o be_v very_o much_o more_o enclose_v and_o shut_v up_o then_o that_o wherein_o i_o be_v for_o the_o present_a and_o i_o like_v it_o also_o the_o rather_o for_o that_o i_o have_v hear_v it_o extreme_o praise_v many_o way_n and_o beside_o it_o be_v a_o house_n of_o my_o own_o order_n yea_o and_o also_o very_o far_o off_o from_o my_o former_a abode_n and_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n which_o will_v have_v comfort_v i_o much_o to_o remain_v where_o i_o be_v utter_o unknown_a but_o my_o ghostly_a father_n will_v never_o permit_v it_o these_o fear_n do_v much_o deprive_v i_o of_o liberty_n of_o spirit_n but_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v afterward_o that_o it_o be_v no_o good_a humility_n since_o it_o give_v i_o such_o a_o deal_n of_o disquiet_n and_o our_o lord_n upon_o that_o occasion_n teach_v i_o this_o truth_n that_o if_o indeed_o indeed_o i_o be_v resolve_v and_o assure_v that_o nothing_o at_o all_o of_o i_o be_v good_a but_o that_o it_o be_v all_o of_o god_n it_o will_v follow_v that_o just_a so_o as_o i_o will_v not_o be_v sorry_a to_o hear_v other_o person_n praise_v but_o rather_o will_v be_v great_o comfort_v and_o joy_v that_o our_o lord_n do_v show_v himself_o in_o they_o so_o neither_o will_v i_o be_v sorry_a that_o his_o work_n may_v be_v also_o see_v in_o i_o i_o fall_v also_o upon_o another_o extreme_a and_o it_o be_v to_o beg_v of_o almighty_a god_n yea_o and_o i_o make_v particular_a prayer_n to_o this_o purpose_n that_o when_o by_o accident_n any_o person_n shall_v enter_v into_o good_a opinion_n of_o i_o his_o divine_a majesty_n will_v be_v please_v to_o declare_v my_o sin_n to_o he_o to_o the_o end_n that_o the_o man_n may_v see_v how_o absolute_o without_o any_o merit_n of_o i_o it_o please_v our_o b._n lord_n to_o do_v i_o favour_n and_o this_o do_v i_o ever_o much_o desire_n though_o my_o ghostly_a father_n have_v command_v i_o it_o not_o to_o ask_v it_o but_o hitherto_o till_o very_o late_o if_o i_o chance_v to_o see_v any_o person_n who_o think_v extraordinary_o well_o of_o i_o i_o take_v the_o best_a mean_n i_o can_v find_v by_o some_o devise_n or_o other_o to_o tell_v he_o my_o sin_n and_o thus_o i_o conceive_v myself_o to_o find_v ease_n but_o yet_o hereby_o they_o have_v put_v i_o into_o a_o kind_n of_o scruple_n that_o this_o proceed_v not_o in_o i_o from_o humility_n and_o that_o it_o rather_o grow_v from_o a_o temptation_n in_o regard_n that_o many_o come_v to_o i_o and_o i_o seem_v to_o have_v cozen_v they_o all_o but_o though_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o they_o be_v indeed_o deceive_v if_o they_o think_v that_o there_o be_v any_o goodness_n in_o i_o yet_o have_v i_o no_o desire_n at_o all_o to_o deceive_v they_o nor_o do_v i_o ever_o pretend_v any_o such_o thing_n but_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n may_v have_v perhaps_o permit_v it_o and_o so_o for_o the_o selfsame_a reason_n i_o will_v never_o have_v impart_v any_o private_a accident_n of_o i_o which_o be_v no_o sin_n even_o to_o my_o very_a ghostly_a father_n themselves_o unless_o i_o have_v find_v it_o to_o be_v whole_o necessary_a for_o i_o shall_v otherwise_o have_v have_v much_o scruple_n to_o do_v it_o but_o now_o i_o see_v very_o well_o that_o all_o these_o little_a truth_n fear_n and_o trouble_n &_o superfluity_n of_o ill-grounded_a humility_n do_v savour_n very_o sufficient_o of_o imperfection_n and_o proceed_v from_o the_o immortification_n of_o the_o soul_n for_o to_o a_o soul_n which_o be_v well_o resign_v into_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n it_o do_v not_o import_v she_o a_o iott_n more_o that_o they_o shall_v speak_v well_o of_o she_o then_o ill_o if_o once_o she_o understand_v well_o and_o home_n forasmuch_o as_o god_n will_v give_v she_o that_o grace_n that_o she_o have_v nothing_o at_o all_o of_o herself_o but_o let_v she_o confide_v in_o he_o who_o impart_v it_o and_o she_o shall_v know_v in_o time_n why_o he_o discover_v it_o and_o in_o the_o mean_a while_n let_v she_o prepare_v herself_o for_o persecution_n for_o it_o will_v most_o certain_o arrive_v in_o such_o a_o age_n as_o this_o upon_o any_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o lord_n will_v have_v it_o know_v that_o he_o do_v she_o such_o favour_n as_o these_o for_o upon_o any_o such_o soul_n as_o this_o a_o thousand_o watchful_a eye_n will_v be_v cast_v whereas_o there_o will_v not_o be_v one_o upon_o a_o whole_a thousand_o of_o such_o other_o soul_n as_o be_v of_o a_o contrary_a make_n and_o there_o be_v real_o much_o cause_n to_o fear_v this_o and_o it_o ought_v to_o have_v be_v my_o fear_n that_o the_o other_o be_v truth_n not_o humility_n but_o pusillanimity_n for_o a_o soul_n which_o almighty_a god_n permit_v to_o be_v expose_v thus_o to_o the_o sight_n of_o the_o world_n may_v expect_v to_o be_v a_o martyr_n of_o the_o same_o world_n for_o if_o she_o will_v not_o die_v to_o it_o she_o shall_v die_v by_o it_o for_o my_o part_n i_o real_o see_v nothing_o in_o this_o thing_n call_v world_n which_o seem_v good_a to_o i_o except_o only_o that_o it_o give_v not_o way_n that_o worthy_a and_o good_a people_n shall_v be_v permit_v to_o do_v ill_a without_o be_v murmur_v at_o for_o their_o labour_n and_o by_o this_o mean_n they_o grow_v to_o perfect_v themselves_o but_o there_o be_v need_n of_o more_o fortitude_n and_o courage_n for_o a_o man_n who_o be_v yet_o imperfect_a to_o walke-on_a towards_o a_o way_n of_o perfection_n then_o even_o to_o be_v instant_o make_v a_o martyr_n for_o perfection_n be_v not_o so_o quick_o get_v unless_o it_o be_v by_o some_o such_o person_n as_o to_o who_o our_o bless_a lord_n may_v vouchsafe_v that_o favour_n by_o way_n of_o a_o particular_a privilege_n but_o the_o world_n discern_v once_o that_o a_o man_n begin_v to_o aspire_v to_o do_v well_o will_v needs_o account_v he_o perfect_a at_o a_o instant_n and_o then_o will_v it_o present_o see_v any_o fault_n in_o he_o if_o he_o have_v any_o though_o it_o be_v a_o thousand_o league_n off_o yea_o and_o perhaps_o that_o which_o they_o hold_v to_o be_v a_o fault_n in_o he_o shall_v indeed_o be_v a_o virtue_n and_o the_o other_o who_o condemn_v he_o and_o be_v wont_a peradventure_o to_o do_v the_o selfsame_a thing_n by_o a_o impulse_n of_o vice_n will_v judge_v ill_a of_o it_o in_o another_o so_o that_o according_a to_o his_o dictamen_fw-la that_o other_o man_n shall_v neither_o eat_v nor_o sleep_n nor_o even_o as_o it_o be_v draw_v his_o breath_n and_o the_o more_o also_o they_o esteem_v such_o person_n the_o more_o apt_a be_v they_o to_o forget_v that_o how_o perfect_a soever_o their_o soul_n be_v and_o how_o absolute_o soever_o they_o tread_v the_o whole_a world_n under_o their_o foot_n yet_o still_o they_o be_v in_o the_o body_n and_o live_v upon_o earth_n and_o be_v subject_a to_o the_o misery_n of_o their_o condition_n and_o therefore_o still_o i_o say_v that_o there_o be_v need_n of_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o courage_n because_o such_o man_n have_v a_o mind_n that_o the_o poor_a soul_n which_o have_v not_o yet_o begin_v to_o walk_v shall_v already_o fly_v she_o have_v not_o yet_o overcome_v and_o mortify_v her_o passion_n and_o yet_o these_o man_n will_v needs_o expect_v that_o she_o shall_v remain_v as_o entire_a and_o firm_a as_o they_o have_v read_v of_o saint_n themselves_o after_o they_o be_v confirm_v in_o grace_n the_o particular_n which_o occur_v in_o this_o kind_n be_v to_o give_v a_o man_n cause_n to_o wonder_n and_o withal_o even_o to_o afflict_v we_o to_o the_o hart_n to_o see_v so_o many_o soul_n turn_v back_o again_o which_o know_v not_o poor_a creature_n as_o they_o be_v what_o shift_n to_o make_v for_o themselves_o and_o so_o do_v i_o believe_v that_o i_o have_v also_o do_v if_o our_o
our_o lord_n seem_v to_o have_v forward_v much_o in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n for_o he_o make_v they_o runne-on_a apace_o and_o not_o go_v foot_n by_o foot_n and_o his_o manner_n be_v to_o untie_v they_o sound_o and_o total_o from_o all_o creature_n and_o to_o put_v they_o to_o the_o exercise_n and_o practice_v of_o mortification_n for_o in_o this_o our_o bless_a lord_n have_v impart_v a_o most_o particular_a talon_n to_o he_o as_o he_o have_v also_o do_v in_o many_o other_o thing_n now_o as_o soon_o as_o i_o begin_v to_o communicate_v my_o affair_n with_o he_o i_o instant_o understand_v his_o stile_n and_o way_n of_o proceed_v and_o i_o find_v that_o he_o have_v a_o holy_a and_o pure_a soul_n and_o that_o our_o lord_n have_v give_v he_o a_o particular_a talent_n in_o the_o try_v and_o know_v of_o spirit_n so_o that_o i_o be_v comfort_v both_o much_o and_o very_o soon_o after_o i_o have_v once_o communicate_v with_o he_o and_o our_o bless_a lord_n begin_v again_o to_o press_v i_o 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to_o effect_v any_o thing_n but_o we_o agree_v that_o it_o shall_v be_v carry_v with_o great_a privacy_n and_o therefore_o i_o procure_v that_o a_o certain_a sister_n of_o i_o who_o live_v elsewhere_a shall_v buy_v and_o build_v the_o house_n as_o if_o it_o be_v for_o herself_o and_o that_o it_o shall_v be_v do_v with_o money_n which_o our_o lord_n find_v mean_n by_o certain_a way_n wherewith_o to_o pay_v for_o it_o but_o it_o will_v be_v a_o long_a business_n to_o tell_v you_o how_o his_o divine_a majesty_n go_v provide_v it_o for_o as_o for_o i_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v very_o sure_a to_o do_v nothing_o which_o may_v be_v against_o obedience_n but_o i_o be_v not_o then_o to_o learn_v that_o if_o i_o tell_v any_o thing_n to_o the_o superior_n of_o my_o order_n the_o whole_a business_n will_v be_v lose_v as_o it_o be_v before_o yea_o and_o that_o if_o i_o do_v so_o now_o it_o will_v fallout_a to_o be_v worse_o in_o the_o point_n of_o get_v money_n for_o make_v the_o bargain_n for_o a_o seat_n and_o for_o build_v also_o the_o house_n i_o endure_v many_o trouble_n and_o some_o of_o they_o all_o alone_a though_o yet_o my_o companion_n and_o friend_n do_v also_o the_o best_a she_o can_v but_o in_o fine_a she_o can_v do_v little_a and_o indeed_o so_o very_o little_a that_o upon_o the_o matter_n it_o be_v a_o kind_n of_o nothing_o but_o only_o to_o take_v upon_o she_o the_o name_n and_o to_o lend_v it_o her_o countenance_n for_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o trouble_n i_o be_v i_o and_o it_o come_v upon_o i_o so_o very_a many_o way_n that_o i_o do_v even_o wonder_v now_o how_o i_o be_v able_a to_o endure_v it_o then_o sometime_o when_o i_o be_v full_a of_o affliction_n i_o will_v be_v utter_v myself_o to_o almighty_a god_n after_o this_o manner_n o_o my_o dear_a lord_n how_o come_v thou_o to_o command_v i_o thing_n which_o seem_v impossible_a for_o though_o i_o be_v a_o woman_n yet_o if_o i_o have_v liberty_n perhaps_o something_o may_v be_v do_v but_o be_v tie_v up_o in_o 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buy_v another_o house_n but_o neither_o have_v i_o wherewithal_o to_o do_v it_o nor_o otherwise_o any_o mean_n to_o procure_v it_o though_o there_o be_v yet_o a_o very_a little_a one_o join_v to_o it_o whereof_o a_o church_n may_v be_v make_v but_o after_o i_o have_v communicate_v one_o day_n our_o lord_n say_v thus_o to_o i_o i_o have_v already_o will_v thou_o to_o begin_v as_o thou_o may_v and_o then_o after_o the_o manner_n of_o exclamation_n he_o say_v thus_o also_o to_o i_o o_o the_o tovetousue_v of_o the_o race_n of_o mankind_n which_o think_v that_o it_o shall_v want_n even_o earth_n upon_o which_o to_o tread_v how_o often_o have_v i_o sleep_v in_o the_o open_a air_n as_o not_o know_v where_o to_o lay_v my_o head_n upon_o this_o i_o be_v amaze_v and_o find_v that_o he_o have_v reason_n and_o so_o i_o go_v to_o that_o little_a house_n and_o order_v it_o and_o though_o it_o be_v very_o little_a yet_o it_o be_v just_a fit_a to_o make_v such_o a_o kind_n of_o monastery_n and_o i_o make_v it_o no_o more_o my_o business_n to_o compass_v a_o large_a seat_n but_o procure_v to_o build_v upon_o that_o in_o such_o sort_n as_o it_o may_v be_v fit_a to_o be_v inhabit_v all_o course_n and_o rude_a and_o without_o any_o other_o mystery_n but_o only_o that_o it_o may_v not_o be_v hurtful_a in_o point_n of_o health_n and_o so_o it_o shall_v ever_o remain_v upon_o the_o day_n of_o s._n clare_n i_o go_v to_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n she_o appear_v to_o i_o in_o very_o great_a beauty_n and_o bid_v i_o be_v of_o a_o good_a courage_n and_o go_v on_o in_o the_o work_n which_o i_o have_v begin_v and_o that_o she_o will_v assist_v i_o and_o this_o have_v prove_v so_o true_a that_o a_o monastery_n of_o religious_a woman_n of_o her_o order_n which_o be_v near_o this_o do_v help_n to_o sustain_v and_o feed_v we_o and_o which_o yet_o be_v more_o she_o have_v by_o little_a and_o little_a bring_v this_o desire_n of_o i_o to_o such_o perfection_n that_o the_o selfsame_a poverty_n which_o that_o bless_a saint_n establish_v in_o her_o house_n be_v exercise_v also_o in_o this_o and_o we_o live_v of_o alm_n which_o point_n have_v cost_v i_o no_o small_a trouble_n in_o get_v it_o confirm_v by_o his_o holiness_n and_o to_o be_v further_o also_o establish_v in_o such_o sort_n as_o that_o no_o innovation_n may_v be_v make_v not_o the_o house_n be_v ever_o capable_a of_o rent_n and_o now_o do_v our_o bless_a lord_n even_o more_o than_o this_o and_o perhaps_o the_o same_o may_v grow_v by_o the_o intercession_n of_o this_o bless_a saint_n for_o his_o divine_a majesty_n provide_v we_o with_o all_o thing_n necessary_a in_o most_o complete_a manner_n without_o our_o ever_o ask_v any_o thing_n of_o any_o creature_n let_v he_o be_v bless_v for_o all_o thing_n amen_n but_o i_o be_v about_o that_o time_n upon_o the_o day_n of_o the_o assumption_n of_o our_o b._n lady_n in_o a_o certain_a monastery_n of_o the_o glorious_a s._n dominick_n order_n i_o be_v consider_v the_o many_o sin_n of_o my_o former_a time_n which_o i_o have_v confess_v in_o that_o house_n and_o the_o accident_n of_o my_o wicked_a life_n and_o sudden_o there_o come_v so_o great_a a_o rapt_v upon_o i_o that_o it_o take_v i_o in_o effect_n whole_o out_o of_o myself_o i_o than_o sit_v down_o and_o yet_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o be_v not_o able_a either_o to_o hear_v mass_n or_o so_o much_o as_o to_o see_v the_o elevation_n for_o which_o i_o remain_v afterward_o with_o some_o scruple_n now_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o
time_n to_o understand_v thing_n but_o just_a so_o as_o we_o have_v a_o mind_n to_o understand_v they_o ourselves_o and_o even_o they_o be_v wrest_v much_o from_o the_o true_a sense_n and_o so_o we_o also_o do_v in_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n and_o we_o will_v needs_o make_v ourselves_o believe_v that_o we_o must_v tax_v even_o our_o own_o profit_n in_o spirit_n according_a to_o the_o measure_n of_o the_o time_n wherein_o we_o have_v have_v any_o exercise_n of_o prayer_n nay_o it_o seem_v that_o we_o have_v have_v a_o mind_n to_o put_v a_o tax_n and_o limit_n upon_o he_o who_o by_o no_o mean_n will_v be_v subject_a to_o any_o when_o there_o be_v question_n of_o impart_v his_o favour_n which_o he_o be_v wont_a to_o dispose_v when_o he_o will_v and_o who_o can_v impart_v more_o benediction_n to_o one_o in_o six_o month_n then_o to_o another_o in_o a_o great_a multitude_n of_o year_n and_o this_o be_v a_o most_o certain_a truth_n which_o i_o have_v see_v so_o express_o verify_v even_o 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on_o without_o so_o much_o as_o remember_v that_o they_o be_v to_o live_v by_o eat_v their_o meat_n and_o they_o shut_v themselves_o up_o for_o ever_o in_o a_o house_n without_o have_v so_o much_o as_o any_o revenue_n upon_o which_o to_o live_v like_o person_n who_o put_v no_o manner_n of_o esteem_n upon_o any_o thing_n of_o this_o world_n for_o the_o love_n of_o he_o who_o they_o know_v love_v they_o and_o they_o give_v over_o even_o all_o thing_n all_o at_o once_o nor_o have_v they_o any_o will_n at_o all_o which_o be_v mere_o their_o own_o nor_o do_v they_o understand_v it_o to_o be_v possible_a that_o ever_o they_o can_v receive_v disgust_n by_o endure_v such_o a_o straight_o shut_v up_o but_o all_o of_o they_o offer-up_a their_o whole_a self_n in_o sacrifice_n to_o the_o honour_n and_o glory_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o now_o how_o willing_o and_o just_o do_v i_o allow_v they_o to_o have_v get_v the_o start_n of_o i_o herein_o and_o how_o mighty_o ought_v i_o to_o be_v ashamed_a and_o even_o confound_v in_o the_o presence_n of_o almighty_a god_n to_o see_v that_o what_o his_o divine_a majesty_n can_v not_o finish_v in_o my_o soul_n through_o my_o fault_n in_o such_o a_o multitude_n of_o year_n since_o i_o use_v prayer_n and_o wherein_o he_o begin_v to_o do_v i_o favour_n he_o have_v yet_o be_v able_a to_o accomplish_v in_o they_o within_o three_o month_n yea_o and_o even_o with_o some_o of_o they_o in_o three_o day_n with_o do_v they_o also_o far_o less_o favour_n then_o to_o i_o though_o yet_o withal_o it_o be_v very_o true_a that_o our_o bless_a lord_n pay_v they_o so_o well_o for_o their_o pain_n that_o they_o be_v all_o very_o far_o from_o be_v sorry_a to_o have_v do_v whatsoever_o they_o have_v do_v for_o the_o love_n of_o he_o for_o this_o purpose_n i_o can_v wish_v that_o we_o may_v call_v to_o mind_n how_o many_o year_n they_o be_v since_o we_o make_v our_o profession_n and_o have_v use_v mental_a prayer_n not_o yet_o for_o the_o give_v they_o any_o trouble_n by_o make_v they_o turn_v back_o who_o have_v make_v a_o great_a deal_n of_o way_n in_o a_o short_a time_n and_o to_o get_v they_o to_o go_v but_o our_o pace_n which_o be_v as_o much_o as_o it_o will_v be_v to_o make_v they_o who_o fly_v like_o eagle_n through_o the_o favour_n which_o it_o have_v please_v almighty_a god_n to_o do_v they_o to_o walk_v the_o slow_a dull_a pace_n of_o a_o shackle_a hen_n but_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v grow_v to_o carry_v the_o honour_n of_o his_o divine_a majesty_n in_o our_o eye_n and_o then_o if_o we_o find_v these_o sister_n of_o we_o to_o be_v humble_a who_o we_o see_v to_o be_v so_o forward_o in_o the_o way_n of_o spirit_n that_o we_o shall_v give_v they_o still_o the_o reins_n for_o certain_o our_o bless_a lord_n who_o have_v do_v they_o so_o great_a favour_n already_o will_v never_o suffer_v they_o to_o break_v their_o neck_n by_o fall_v down_o as_o from_o some_o dangerous_a rock_n they_o commit_v and_o trust_v themselves_o in_o the_o hand_n of_o almighty_a god_n for_o this_o benefit_n do_v they_o reap_v by_o the_o truth_n which_o faith_n teach_v they_o and_o shall_v not_o we_o also_o trust_v they_o there_o but_o document_n must_v we_o limit_v and_o confine_v they_o by_o our_o narrow_a measure_n according_a to_o the_o meanness_n &_o straightness_n of_o our_o own_o poor_a mind_n no_o no_o this_o must_v not_o be_v but_o rather_o if_o ourselves_o can_v arrive_v to_o be_v owner_n of_o those_o strong_a affection_n and_o firm_a resolution_n which_o abound_v in_o they_o for_o these_o thing_n can_v be_v well_o understand_v without_o experience_n let_v we_o procure_v to_o humble_v ourselves_o and_o not_o condemn_v they_o for_o else_o by_o seem_v to_o have_v a_o care_n of_o their_o advantage_n and_o profit_n we_o shall_v deprive_v ourselves_o of_o our_o own_o and_o we_o shall_v also_o loose_v the_o occasion_n which_o our_o lord_n show_v we_o so_o fair_a for_o our_o own_o great_a humility_n and_o that_o we_o may_v the_o 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other_o kind_n of_o prayer_n as_o shall_v have_v continue_v many_o year_n and_o yet_o never_o in_o fine_a have_v make_v a_o end_n of_o resolve_v upon_o any_o more_o at_o the_o last_o then_o at_o the_o first_o to_o do_v aniething_fw-mi for_o the_o pure_a love_n of_o almighty_a god_n unless_o it_o be_v some_o poor_a little_a fiddle_v babble_n which_o be_v no_o big_a than_o a_o grain_n of_o salt_n which_o have_v neither_o bulk_n nor_o weight_n but_o be_v such_o as_o that_o any_o bird_n may_v be_v able_a to_o carry_v it_o away_o in_o her_o bill_n for_o i_o confess_v we_o hold_v it_o not_o for_o a_o matter_n
there_o and_o now_o by_o mean_n of_o this_o consideration_n my_o soul_n begin_v to_o be_v so_o much_o more_o inflame_v that_o my_o spirit_n grow_v to_o be_v in_o rapt_v and_o so_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o express_v it_o for_o i_o think_v i_o be_v put_v and_o plunge_v into_o that_o majesty_n which_o i_o have_v former_o understand_v but_o yet_o so_o as_o that_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o declare_v it_o in_o this_o majesty_n a_o certain_a truth_n be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v which_o indeed_o be_v the_o accomplishment_n of_o all_o truth_n but_o yet_o still_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o relate_v it_o for_o i_o see_v nothing_o at_o all_o distinct_o but_o they_o tell_v i_o these_o word_n though_o yet_o i_o see_v not_o who_o speak_v they_o only_o i_o know_v that_o it_o be_v the_o very_a truth_n this_o which_o i_o do_v for_o thou_o be_v no_o small_a matter_n but_o rather_o it_o be_v a_o thing_n for_o which_o thou_o ow_a i_o much_o because_o one_o of_o the_o mischief_n which_o grow_n to_o the_o world_n proceed_v from_o not_o know_v the_o truth_n of_o scripture_n with_o clear_a truth_n but_o one_o tittle_n thereof_o shall_v not_o fail_v now_o as_o for_o i_o i_o conceive_v that_o myself_o have_v always_o believe_v this_o yea_o and_o that_o all_o catholic_n have_v also_o believe_v it_o but_o then_o he_o say_v to_o i_o again_o alas_o my_o daughter_n there_o be_v few_o who_o love_v i_o according_a to_o truth_n for_o if_o they_o do_v i_o will_v not_o conceal_v my_o secret_n from_o they_o but_o do_v thou_o know_v what_o it_o be_v to_o love_v i_o according_a to_o truth_n it_o be_v to_o know_v that_o all_o be_v a_o lie_n which_o be_v not_o acceptable_a to_o i_o thou_o shall_v be_v able_a to_o see_v this_o clear_o which_o now_o thou_o do_v not_o understand_v by_o the_o profit_n which_o thy_o soul_n shall_v get_v and_o so_o according_o i_o have_v see_v it_o perform_v our_o lord_n be_v ever_o praise_v for_o it_o for_o all_o thing_n which_o be_v not_o address_v to_o the_o service_n of_o almighty_a god_n do_v of_o late_a seem_v to_o i_o so_o huge_o to_o be_v vanity_n and_o a_o lie_n that_o i_o be_o no_o way_n able_a to_o express_v how_o much_o i_o understand_v thereof_o and_o it_o move_v i_o to_o deep_a compassion_n to_o see_v man_n live_v in_o so_o great_a obscurity_n and_o ignorance_n as_o they_o be_v in_o of_o thy_o truth_n but_o by_o this_o mean_n i_o have_v benefit_v myself_o in_o many_o kind_n whereof_o i_o will_v here_o relate_v some_o and_o some_o i_o shall_v not_o be_v able_a to_o relate_v but_o our_o lord_n say_v one_o word_n to_o i_o here_o in_o particular_a with_o very_o great_a favour_n though_o i_o know_v not_o also_o how_o this_o be_v for_o i_o see_v nothing_o but_o i_o remain_v in_o such_o sort_n after_o it_o as_o i_o know_v not_o also_o how_o to_o declare_v even_o that_o only_o i_o be_o sure_a i_o remain_v by_o this_o mean_n with_o a_o very_a great_a kind_n of_o fortitude_n and_o firm_a purpose_n of_o accomplish_v even_o the_o least_o part_n of_o holy_a scripture_n with_o the_o uttermost_a of_o all_o my_o power_n and_o nothing_o i_o think_v can_v offer_v itself_o to_o i_o through_o which_o i_o will_v not_o pass_v for_o the_o make_v this_o good_a there_o remain_v also_o a_o truth_n of_o this_o divine_a truth_n which_o be_v now_o represent_v to_o i_o though_o yet_o still_o i_o know_v not_o how_o so_o deep_o engrave_v in_o my_o hart_n that_o it_o make_v i_o carry_v a_o new_a kind_n of_o profound_a reverence_n to_o almighty_a god_n for_o it_o impart_v a_o notice_n of_o his_o high_a majesty_n and_o great_a power_n after_o such_o a_o manner_n as_o can_v be_v describe_v but_o i_o can_v only_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v a_o mighty_a kind_n of_o thing_n i_o now_o remain_v also_o with_o a_o very_a great_a desire_n never_o to_o speak_v at_o all_o but_o of_o thing_n which_o be_v substantial_o true_a and_o which_o may_v just_o take_v precedence_n of_o all_o that_o which_o use_v to_o be_v treat_v of_o in_o this_o world_n and_o so_o i_o then_o begin_v to_o find_v it_o pain_n enough_o even_o to_o live_v in_o it_o this_o vision_n leave_v i_o with_o a_o regalo_n of_o great_a tenderness_n and_o with_o humility_n also_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o our_o bless_a lord_n do_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v much_o in_o this_o vision_n though_o yet_o without_o my_o understanding_n the_o manner_n of_o it_o but_o at_o least_o i_o be_v satisfy_v well_o enough_o that_o it_o be_v no_o illusion_n i_o see_v nothing_o but_o yet_o i_o understand_v the_o great_a benefit_n which_o there_o be_v in_o not_o make_v account_n of_o any_o thing_n which_o bring_v we_o not_o near_o to_o almighty_a god_n and_o so_o i_o come_v to_o understand_v what_o kind_n of_o thing_n it_o be_v for_o a_o soul_n to_o walk_v in_o truth_n in_o the_o presence_n of_o the_o same_o truth_n that_o which_o i_o understand_v be_v that_o our_o lord_n give_v i_o to_o understand_v that_o he_o be_v very_a truth_n itself_o and_o all_o these_o thing_n at_o which_o i_o have_v now_o point_v here_o i_o understand_v sometime_o by_o their_o be_v speak_v to_o i_o and_o at_o other_o time_n without_o speech_n but_o yet_o some_o of_o this_o latter_a sort_n with_o more_o clearness_n than_o those_o other_o which_o be_v impart_v to_o i_o by_o word_n i_o understand_v very_o great_a truth_n of_o this_o truth_n and_o better_o then_o if_o many_o learned_a man_n have_v teach_v i_o and_o at_o least_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o they_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n have_v so_o imprint_v they_o in_o my_o mind_n nor_o so_o clear_o have_v give_v i_o to_o understand_v the_o vanity_n of_o this_o world_n this_o truth_n which_o i_o say_v be_v give_v i_o to_o be_v understand_v be_v very_a truth_n in_o itself_o and_o it_o be_v both_o without_o beginning_n and_o without_o end_n and_o all_o other_o truth_n depend_v upon_o this_o truth_n and_o all_o other_o love_n upon_o this_o love_n and_o all_o other_o greatness_n upon_o this_o greatness_n though_o yet_o all_o this_o be_v deliver_v by_o i_o with_o much_o obscurity_n in_o comparison_n of_o that_o clearness_n wherewith_o our_o bless_a lord_n be_v please_v to_o impart_v it_o and_o how_o very_o well_o do_v this_o become_v the_o great_a power_n of_o that_o majesty_n to_o leave_v such_o thing_n as_o these_o imprint_v upon_o the_o soul_n whereby_o such_o advantage_n be_v obtain_v and_o that_o in_o so_o short_a a_o time_n o_o greatness_n and_o majesty_n of_o my_o omnipotent_a lord_n what_o be_v it_o which_o thou_o be_v do_v consider_v who_o it_o be_v to_o who_o thou_o be_v vouchsafe_v such_o sovereign_a favour_n do_v thou_o not_o remember_v how_o this_o soul_n have_v be_v a_o very_a abyss_n of_o lie_n and_o even_o a_o deep_a sea_n of_o vanity_n and_o all_o this_o through_o fault_n of_o my_o own_o for_o notwithstanding_o that_o thou_o give_v i_o a_o inclination_n which_o natural_o do_v abhor_v lie_v yet_o i_o make_v myself_o apt_a to_o treat_v in_o many_o thing_n after_o a_o deceitful_a kind_n of_o manner_n how_o be_v thou_o able_a o_o my_o god_n even_o to_o endure_v i_o and_o how_o can_v so_o great_a goodness_n of_o thou_o be_v show_v to_o one_o who_o have_v so_o ill_o deserve_v it_o and_o how_o can_v so_o much_o sin_n against_o thou_o be_v compatible_a with_o such_o favour_n as_o these_o be_v once_o recite_v the_o hour_n of_o the_o divine_a office_n with_o all_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o religious_a my_o soul_n begin_v to_o be_v sudden_o recollect_v and_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o it_o be_v like_o some_o clear_a and_o pure_a lookingglass_n without_o have_v any_o thing_n either_o on_o the_o back_n or_o on_o the_o side_n or_o yet_o either_o above_o or_o below_o which_o be_v not_o all_o extreme_o clear_a and_o in_o the_o very_a centre_n thereof_o christ_n our_o lord_n be_v represent_v to_o i_o just_a so_o as_o i_o be_o accustom_v to_o see_v he_o it_o seem_v to_o i_o that_o i_o see_v he_o clear_o in_o all_o the_o part_n and_o portion_n of_o my_o soul_n as_o in_o a_o lookingglass_n and_o so_o also_o though_o i_o know_v not_o how_o our_o bless_a lord_n himself_o be_v engrave_v therein_o with_o such_o a_o certain_a kind_n of_o enamour_a communion_n or_o communication_n of_o himself_o as_o i_o can_v possible_o express_v only_o i_o know_v that_o this_o vision_n have_v be_v of_o very_o great_a benefit_n to_o i_o and_o be_v so_o whensoever_o i_o remember_v it_o and_o especial_o after_o i_o receive_v the_o b._n sacrament_n but_o it_o be_v give_v i_o hereby_o to_o understand_v that_o the_o be_v of_o a_o soul_n in_o mortal_a sin_n be_v to_o make_v this_o glass_n be_v cover_v
i_o have_v to_o converse_v with_o they_o but_o our_o lord_n do_v ever_o counsel_v i_o in_o all_o thing_n yea_o so_o far_o as_o even_o to_o tell_v i_o how_o i_o shall_v carry_v myself_o towards_o weak_a person_n and_o some_o other_o also_o and_o he_o never_o lay_v the_o care_n of_o i_o aside_o but_o i_o be_o much_o trouble_v to_o find_v that_o i_o be_o good_a for_o so_o little_a in_o his_o service_n as_o also_o that_o i_o can_v do_v the_o less_o through_o my_o spend_v more_o time_n than_o i_o wiâ—h_v upon_o so_o weak_a and_o waste_v a_o body_n as_o i_o be_v as_o i_o be_v once_o in_o prayer_n and_o the_o hour_n of_o our_o go_v to_o rest_n come_v on_o i_o find_v myself_o in_o a_o great_a deal_n of_o pain_n and_o know_v that_o my_o ordinary_a vomit_n will_v arrive_v and_o obserue_v myself_o to_o be_v so_o tyed-up_a to_o these_o care_n and_o the_o spirit_n on_o the_o other_o side_n desit_v to_o have_v some_o time_n for_o itself_o i_o grow_v to_o be_v even_o so_o tire_v that_o i_o begin_v to_o be_v great_o afflict_v and_o to_o weep_v much_o and_o that_o happen_v very_o often_o to_o i_o and_o this_o condition_n put_v i_o to_o such_o a_o kind_n of_o anger_n that_o i_o think_v i_o do_v in_o those_o time_n even_o abhor_v myself_o though_o yet_o it_o be_v true_a withal_o that_o i_o do_v not_o abhor_v myself_o indeed_o nor_o yet_o be_o want_v in_o what_o be_v necessary_a for_o i_o and_o i_o rather_o pray_v god_n that_o i_o take_v not_o more_o care_n of_o myself_o than_o i_o shall_v and_o so_o i_o fear_v i_o do_v but_o now_o whilst_o i_o be_v in_o this_o grief_n our_o lord_n appear_v to_o i_o and_o regale_v i_o very_o much_o and_o tell_v i_o that_o i_o must_v endure_v these_o trouble_n and_o goe-through_a with_o they_o for_o love_n of_o he_o and_o that_o my_o life_n be_v necessary_a yet_o and_o so_o i_o think_v i_o never_o see_v myself_o in_o any_o very_a great_a pain_n which_o i_o value_v since_o i_o resolve_v to_o serve_v this_o lord_n and_o comforter_n of_o i_o with_o all_o my_o power_n for_o though_o he_o permit_v i_o to_o suffer_v a_o little_a yet_o will_v he_o still_o be_v assist_v i_o so_o withal_o that_o i_o esteem_v not_o myself_o to_o do_v much_o in_o desire_v to_o suffer_v affliction_n for_o his_o sake_n so_o that_o now_o i_o think_v there_o be_v no_o reason_n why_o we_o shall_v even_o desire_v so_o much_o as_o to_o live_v but_o only_o to_o the_o end_n that_o we_o may_v suffer_v and_o according_o this_o be_v the_o thing_n which_o i_o beg_v with_o most_o affection_n of_o almighty_a god_n and_o sometime_o i_o be_o say_v to_o he_o with_o my_o whole_a hart_n o_o lord_n let_v i_o either_o suffer_v or_o die_v for_o i_o beg_v no_o other_o thing_n of_o thou_o for_o myself_o and_o now_o it_o use_v to_o comfort_v i_o to_o hear_v the_o clock_n strike_v for_o so_o i_o think_v i_o be_o grow_v a_o little_a near_o to_o the_o see_v of_o god_n though_o it_o be_v but_o a_o little_a because_o one_o hour_n more_o of_o my_o life_n be_v past_a at_o other_o time_n i_o find_v myself_o in_o such_o sort_n that_o i_o neither_o take_v much_o pleasure_n in_o live_v nor_o yet_o i_o think_v have_v any_o great_a mind_n to_o die_v and_o so_o in_o the_o mean_a time_n i_o remain_v with_o a_o kind_n of_o stupidity_n and_o darkness_n of_o mind_n in_o all_o thing_n and_o many_o time_n i_o also_o have_v some_o trouble_n and_o since_o our_o lord_n be_v please_v that_o those_o favour_n shall_v be_v public_o know_v which_o his_o divine_a majesty_n vouchsafe_v to_o show_v i_o as_o he_o himself_o have_v tell_v i_o some_o year_n ago_o that_o they_o shall_v be_v which_o give_v i_o vexation_n enough_o and_o it_o be_v not_o a_o little_a that_o i_o have_v endure_v therein_o as_o your_o reverence_n know_v for_o every_o body_n will_v understand_v thing_n as_o he_o list_n i_o comfort_v myself_o yet_o with_o this_o that_o it_o have_v not_o arrive_v by_o my_o fault_n because_o i_o never_o speak_v of_o any_o such_o thing_n but_o either_o to_o my_o ghostly_a father_n or_o other_o 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