School-fellows addicted themselves for some years he spent most of that time which he had vacant and could redeem from his obliged attendance upon the School His judicious Master discerning in him a ready natural capacity for learning and desire after it with industrious diligence in study for though he spent so great a part of his time out of School in reading History yet withal he so performed his part and offices in the School as he never gave occasion of correction or rebuke and observing moreover his Constant daily attendance on the worship of God according to the rules of the Schools He earnestly Commended him to his Mother and persuaded her to think of no other course or trade of life for him but that he be prepared and sent to the University in order to the Office and Work of the Ministry Accordingly not without his own inclination and choice being sufficiently instructed with Grammar Learning for Academical studies he was in the sixteenth year of his age viz. Jan. 2. 1645. admitted into Christs Colledge in Cambridge under the Tuition of the Learned Dr. Henry Moore His years were not many but his stature less Insomuch that for some time he could not pass the streets without special notice taken of him and expressed on that account Nor was this only a vulgar observation but such also as fell under the Remark of the late King Charles the first who being brought to a Gentlemans house by the Army night to Cambridge and many Schollars coming thither in their habits to see his Majesty was pleased to order that they should be admitted to his Royall presence and kiss his hand Among whom this Coming in his order His Majesty made special observation of of him and gave him his gracious benediction saying Here 's a little Schollar indeed God bless him His residence in the Colledge was so constant that during the whole time of his Undergraduacy he was not absent Communibus annis Conjunctim divisim one month in a year And his sobriety such that he abstained not only from publick Houses but in other Company and places from Wines and and strong Drink as judging Nature in his age to stand in no need of such kind of helps After he had taken his degree of Batchelor of Arts he resided still in the Colledge applying himself seriously to the Study of Divinity which he alwayes designed In pursuance whereof whether by his own or others advice I cannot say he went to London and spent some months there acquainting himself with the principal Booksellers from whom he took an account of the best writers in Divinity of that time frequenting the Library of Sion Colledge and the Lectures at Gresham Colledge applying himself to several Worthy Ministers of the City and attending on their exercises which were daily that he might observe the variety of mens Gifts and their several methods of Preaching By which he made so great an Improvement of himself that he hath often said since that if it should please God to give him a Son of his own disposed to the Ministery He should give it him as his particular advice before he entred upon the work of preaching to spend some months in London in attending on those learned Divines which excelled in the Gift of preaching wherewith that City is alwayes furnished Being much affected and pleased with this study Resolving to pursue it earnestly and prepare himself for the Work of the Ministry He did privately yet in a very solemn manner by fasting and prayer make as it were a dedication of himself to God for that service When he was middle Batchelor he was removed from Christs Colledge and made Iunior Fellow of Gonvile and Caius Colledge about the beginning of the year 1651. where after a years continuance and probation of of his worth he was translated from that to a Senior Fellowship which he enjoyed during the space of six years and upward In which time he discharged the office of Steward to the Temporal of Catechist and Conduct to the Spiritual advantage of that Society Here it was that the Lord Trained up this his Disciple to be a Scribe instructed for the Kingdom of God furnishing him so plentifully with Divine and Spiritual knowledg which he gained as well by experience and observation of Gods dealing with him and the operation of his Spirit upon his heart as by industrious Study and Meditation that he could readily bring forth out of his Treasure things new and old Was able to speak pertinently sutably and seasonably to the various Capacities Conditions and Cases of Saints and Sinners and became an happy powerful Instrument in the hand of God for the Conversion Edification Consolation and Salvation of many Souls His design and desire being to serve the Lord Jesus Christ in the Office and work of the Ministry he directed the course of his Studies with special respect to that Service And though his place and exercises in the University obliged him to the Study of Philosophy wherein he was equal to most yet the Study of Divinity was his 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Not satisfying himself with the reading of the elaborate Writings of the most learned Divines wherewith he furnished his Library at the Expence of some hundreds of pounds he especially addicted himself to the reading and study of the Holy Scriptures as containing the whole Counsel of God which as his Minister he was to declare to men Which course of his study God so succeeded with his Blessing that it may be truly said of him what St. Luke saith of Apollos Act. 18. 24. He was mighty in the Scriptures his Head Memory Heart and Tongue were full of the Scriptures whereof he hath given abundant Evidence by his Scriptural Catechism In the opening and applying whereof his Gift was excellent and peculiar All that knew him and were acquainted with his Discourse Ministry or Pen must bear him that Testimony with the holy Apostle St. Paul he preferred the Learning gotten at the feet of Christ above all he had got at the feet of Gamaliel and though he had the valuable accomplishments of other learning yet he determined not to know any thing save Jesus Christ and him crucified In which knowledge he was like Saul higher than most of his Brethren from the shoulders and upwards I know none I can better compare him with than that Eminent and Powerful servant and Instrument of Jesus Christ Mr. Arthur Hildershaw whom I am prone to believe he propounded to himself as a Pattern for imitation But knowledge alone is not sufficient instruction for a Minister of the Gospel It is no rare thing to find some great Schollars in the Theory of Scripture who yet are but very ordinary Christians whose light like that of the Moon hath very cold influences He is best accomplished whose knowing head effects his heart and governs his life who knows revealed truth as well by Spiritual sense and Experience as by Speculation The Spirit of
〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 OR The true Dignity of St. Paul's ELDER Exemplified in the LIFE Of that Reverend Holy Zealous and Faithful Servant and Minister of Jesus Christ Mr. Owen Stockton M. A. Sometimes Fellow of Gonvile and Caius Colledge in Cambridge and afterward Preacher of Gods Word at Colchester in Essex WITH A Collection of his Observations Experiences and Evidences Recorded by his own hand To which is added his FUNERAL SERMON By John Fairfax M. A. Sometimes Fellow of C. C. C. in C. and afterward Rector of Barking in Suffolk Heb. 11. 4. He being dead yet speaketh London Printed by H. H. for Tho. Parkhurst at the Sign of the Bible and Three Crowns at the lower end of Cheapside 1681. To the Worthily Honoured and Eminently Religious the Lady Brook of Cockfield-Hall in Suffolk MADAM HAving no Foundation whereon to raise an Ambition of publick Notice my Pen was never touched with the Itch of Writing That this once I venture abroad is to shew another not my self I am under more than a common obligation to this pious Office to pay due Honour to the dead to build a Prophets Tomb or erect a Pillar upon his Grave that he may not be Buried in utter oblivion with men who hath the promise of everlasting remembrance with God When worthy and desirable persons are removed out of oursight it is some satisfaction to have their Pictures before our eyes This is the design of these sheets And had the Pencils Art born proportion to the Subjects worth I had almost said here had been expressed as rare a piece in Grace as was Absalom in Nature But the defects to be complained of in the Face and pardoned are abundantly recompensed with the true Portraicture of the inward Vitals the very heart and Soul drawn to the Life by his own hand that only could Wherein if some shall say they see nothing excellent and shall despise others I doubt not will be able to reply as he in a like Case If you saw with my eyes you would commend That this Dead is here proposed to publick view is to gratifie the desire and to contribute to the instruction that I say not the reproof of the Living Happy are many Souls who have enjoyed the Priviledge of the lively voice of this great Instrument of God He is not to be numbred among those of whom it is said Let them be silent in the Grave Who then knoweth but that being dead he may yet speak effectually whose Living Tongue was as choice Silver and whose Lips fed many The Spiritual workings of his heart and Converse of his Soul with God was a secret between God and himself wherewith a stranger did not intermeddle which he no more than others in like Case had the freedom generally to Communicate That God put it into his heart to Record it is no improbable Argument that God as well as himself intended its usefulness not only to himself but others also when once Death should give a liberty to the Secrets of his heart to be made manifest Madam The great Respect and Honour which your Ladyship hath always Cordially had and freely expressed to the Faithful Ministers of Christ hath at once both obliged and encouraged me to prefix your worthy Name to the Memorial of this deceased Prophet Of whom I am not at all suspicious lest your Ladyship should be ashamed He who hath been a more than ordinary burning and shining Light amidst his Generation and is now a Star of the greater Magnitude amidst the Spirits of just men made perfect can cast no dark Reflections upon that true Honour your Ladyship obtains with all that know you which in your own great Judgment is valued as it is of God and not of men I shall not wonder if those who are strangers to the Holy Spirit shall find no delightful satisfaction in reading these Spiritual exercises and experiences or who are Enemies shall censure them as Phanatick fancies which indeed can never be well understood without some measure of that Diviner Learning whose method is Tast and see I have therefore chosen humbly to offer this to your Ladyship who is of full Age and by reason of use have senses exercised to discern both Good and Evil in whose hands it will be secure and fear no Contempt I have reason to believe that in reading the practice of the Life and workings of the heart of this now Glorified Saint your Ladyship reflecting on your self will find cause to say Face answereth to Face and Heart to Heart Which I hope may contribute somewhat to your joy and Confidence before him who fashioneth his Childrens hearts alike in stamping the same his Image upon them all It hath pleased God in his holy and wise Providence to make your Ladyship an instance of many and sharp Trials yet withal of much Grace by the power whereof you have endured with most Christian and Exemplary Faith and Patience The last Enemy is yet before you to be expected and Encountred which considering your Ladyships years seemeth to be approaching But behold it is here presented as Disarmed and Conquered and so less formidable And I doubt not but your Ladyship liveth in the Comfortable prospect of that Blessed day when all your Conflicts shall be Crowned with Victory and Triumph over Death in Communion with the Prince of Life Madam I have yet to add that I have gladly taken this occasion to make my publick acknowledgments of the inviolable obligations which your Ladyship hath laid upon me by your singular Bounty exercised as well to my Honoured Father now with God as to my self in our state of Deprivation And here I must joyn with your Ladyship your only surviving Daughter of the many hopeful Children which God had graciously given your Ladyship Madam Mary Brook the true Heiress of your Ladyships great Vertue and Grace As my Pen cannot be silent lest ungrateful so it dares not be fluent lest offensive to that Liberality which would not have the left hand know what the right hand doth I am bound to say Blessed be ye of the Lord who have not left off your kindness to the Living and to the Dead That this may be fruit abounding to your account an Odor of a sweet smell a Sacrifice acceptable and well pleasing to God recompensed at the Resurrection of the Just That your days may yet be multiplied and the Consolations of God be the support and strength of your Age That the Blessings of the Everlasting Covenant may descend and remain to your Posterity from Generation to Generation is and shall be the Prayer of Madam Barking Jun. 1681. Your Ladyships most Humble and bounden Servant and Orator John Fairfax The true Dignity of St. Pauls Elder Exemplified In the Life of Mr. Owen Stockton The Preface IT hath been the vain-glorious practice of some men for the perpetuating of their memories beyond Death and Time to the farthest posterity to engrave their Names in Brass or Marble
God is a Spirit of truth and of life too Communicateth both grace and Gifts and teacheth as well 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 as 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 Both which consisted together in this excellent person The word of God dwelt both in his Head and Heart and was effectually the Law of his Life He was a Burning as well as Shinning Light A man more than ordinarily mortified to the pleasures of the Flesh and vanities of the World freely and resolvedly devoted to the fear of God His Conversation was in Heaven his Communion with God his Delight in the Saints his Business Religion his Zeal for Holiness his main Design the glorifying of God and the Salvation of his own and others Souls Whereof the following Pages will I doubt not be an abundant Evidence not only to the Charitable but Rational judgment of the Christian Reader As for his practice of Mortification I shall not otherwise express it than in his own words as I read it in the records of the remarkable passages of his life by his own hand but after he had a family viz. Having been foiled by the lusts of my own Heart several times and considering what I should do to get rid of those lusts which had so often prevailed over me God directed me to three several means The one was suggested to me as I was walking in my garden and meditating on the affairs of my Soul and that was to be more frequent in Eyeing applying and meditating on the promises and the Scripture which the Holy Spirit of God set before me for this end was 2 Pet. 1. 4. By the precious promises given to us we escape the pollution that is in the world through lust The other was suggested to me as I was hearing a Sermon and that was to be daily applying the Lord Jesus to my soul grounded on Rom. 13. 13. 14. where the Apostle adviseth to put on the Lord Jesus Christ as an help against chambering and wantonness strife and envying The third was suggested to me as I was riding abroad and discoursing of the things of God which was Gal. 5. 16. Walk in the Spirit and ye shall not fulfill the lusts of the flesh In pursuance of these means for the mortifying of the lusts of the flesh I determined with my self to Eye the promises of God more frequently then I had done and to that end I chose out some promises of daily and continual use and determined by the help of God to salute and embrace them once a day and not only to take a view of them my self but in my meditations and soliloquies to spread them before God and to put the Lord in remembrance of them For supplying all the wants of the day I chose that promise Phil. 4. 19. for growth in grace Hos 14. 5. for subduing my sins Mic. 7. 19. Rom. 6. 14. for success in my undertakings Ps 1. 3. for turning all the events of the day for good to me Rom. 8. 28. for the conversion and sanctification of my children Isa 44. 3. for my yoke-fellow and servants and all others in my family that they might get good from me and return to God and grow in grace Hos 14. 7. for sanctifying of my afflictions Isa 27. 9. Zech. 13. 9. for audience of my prayers Mic. 7. 7. Joh. 14. 13. 14. for grace and strength to manage all the works of the day to the glory of God Zech. 10. 12. for protection from dangers and casualties Gen. 15. 1. for giving me eternal life in case the day should bring death to me Luk. 12. 32. Joh. 3. 16. for counsel and direction in all cases of difficulty and unexpected emergencies Isa 58. 11. Ps 32. 8. I judged it also very conducible to the Glory of God and my own soul's good to manage all my employments as much as may be with an eye to the promises and as to my calling when I am studying to compose Sermons Deut. 28. 8. when I go to preach Math. 28. 19. 20. for success in my preaching Isa 56. 8. 65. 23. I was the more confirmed in this frequent and familiar converse with the promises not only as it helps on our participation of the Divine nature and our escaping the pollution that is in the world through lust but because the Lord commands us to be alwaies mindful of his covenant 1 Chron. 16. 15. and it pleaseth God to see us taking hold of his Covenant Isa 56. 4. and it is for the Glory of God 2 Cor. 1. 20. I determined also when I should feel the workings of any lust presently to look up to Jesus Christ It being the remedy which the Holy Ghost prescribes against such sins as do most easily beset us Heb. 12. 1. 2. I have often been encouraged and helped in this practice of looking unto Jesus to subdue my sins from Act. 3. ult God sent his Son Jesus to bless us in turning us every one from his iniquities Beza's note upon that text is very good and hath been of use to me viz. that the great word for inquities signifies the roots and habits of Sin I saw it was my duty and concernment every day to be more frequent in applying my soul to Christ and Christ his benefits to my soul In pursuance of the 3d means of mortification viz. walking in the spirit I resolved to endeavour to do my works and duties both to God and men more spiritually and in order hereunto to reduce my actings to some word and as oft as I could to eye some word of God as I was entring on them as for instance If I be called out by others or stirred up in my own Spirit to visit the sick or any afflicted person to have my thoughts on Math. 25. 36. or Jam. 1. 27. when any poor people come to me for relief or any object of charity is presented to me to eye Gal. 6. 10. or Hebr. 13. 16. or Isa 58. 10. or Eccl. 11. 1. or prov 19. 17. when a poor man cometh to borrow Deut. 15. 7. 8. 10. When to write letters take a journey or be any ways employed for others Gal. 5. 13. Phil. 2. 4. when to visit out of courtesy or do any thing which courtesy requireth 1 Pet. 3. 8. when to instruct my Servants and Children Deut. 6. 7. Gen. 18. 19. when to Catechise the youth that come to my family Joh. 21. 15. Prov. 22. 6. when invited to exercise abroad among poor or rich Isa 32. ult when to administer a reproof Lev. 19. 17. when to confer about Spiritual things Mal. 3. 17. This was the wise and holy method which this faithful Servant and Souldier of Jesus Christ prescribed to himself by Divine direction whereby to manage the Spiritual War with the sin that dwelt in him that he might not be overcome with it According to which he moreover charged himself with the practice of universal positive Holiness which he thus records Being under the rebukes of Gods chastising
Preach in the Afternoon at St. Andrews I had some thoughts of it and motions thereto some time since But now my time for Chapel exercise being expired I took it into serious thoughts and having humbled my Soul for my sins and begged of God that he would settle my mind in this thing and teach me what was his mind therein after pains and searching the Scripture I came to this resolution I was fully persuaded that it was the mind of the Lord that I should also Preach in the Afternoons and that from these Scriptures 2 Tim. 4. 1. 2. I charge the before God be instant in Season and out of Season As we will answer it to Jesus Christ at the day of Judgment we are to take all opportunities to preach his Word I consider here is a fair opportunity put into my hands and therefore I am bound in Conscience not to neglect it 1 Pet. 5. 2. 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 as much as in you lieth feed thy flock So Calvin renders the word 1 Cor. 9. 16. 17. Necessity is laid upon me yea woe is unto me if I preach not the gospel Though I preach the gospel I have nothing to glory of If I do this willingly I have a reward Eccl. 11 6. in the morning sow thy seed and in the evening withhold not thy hand For thou knowest not what shall prosper this or that this seems a clear resolution of the question 1 Cor. 15. 58. always abounding in the work of the Lord. Gal. 6. 10. As we have opportunity let us do good here is a fair opportunity and how it may be taken from me or I from it I know not and therefore hold it my duty to lay hold on it Hereupon I resolved to preach once a fortnight in the Afternoons also and considering my weakness for such a work I was encouraged from Isa 41. 10. and Math. 28. ult Go teach and lo I am with you with you to help and assist you with you to bless your labours and make your work prosperous under your hands Jul. 13. 1656. I began my Afternoons Exercise and entred upon the Doctrine of Repentance I have found God very much with me assisting and enlarging me and blessing my labours to some of my hearers I bless his Name for putting it into my heart Nov 16 I had not so much of the enlivening presence of God in the afternoon as I was wont to have Yet God blessed his word One of the Parish told Mr. J. He thought their Minister knew their hearts and added he was resolved to amend Apr. 21. 1657. I set apart this day to seek God by fasting and prayer to shew me my way and to direct me in a business that had been upon my Spirit nigh half a year which was to preach once a fortnight on the week day at the church where I am placed I engaged the prayers of others also for me in this particular And when I went to the Sacrament I laid the promise before God that he would guide me continually and teach me in the way that I should choose as that which I desire might among others be Sealed up to me Whilst I was thus deliberating with my self what to do I met with this providence Being at Soham to preach the Lecture there I slept that night very disturbedly towards the morning me thought I saw the Lord Jesus Christ in his glory who spake comfortably to me and encouraged me in my work but spake very sad words to another Mr. of Arts that was with me whom I dreamed to be a godly man yet one who was noted for his unwillingness to preach in Town When I awoke I considered with my self what this should mean I considered it was but a dream and so not much to be heeded and again I considered that sometimes God speaks to us in dreams and slumbering upon our beds Job 33. 13. 14. 15. whence I gathered it might be something of encouragement to me In the morning when I was up It fell out in my ordinary course of reading the Scripture to read Act. 18. and when I had read ver 9. 10. and pondered what had befell me in the night I could not but wonder at the Providence of God to cause this Scripture to fall in with my former dream which made me ponder the more upon it I saw God did sometimes speak to his people in a vision I saw the same reason why Paul should Preach viz. because there was much people belonging to the Lord there might be forcible to prevail with me for he enclines a great multitude of people to attend upon me When I had considered of it I resolved to lay this up in my heart and not to slight it though I could not build on it any ground of my undertaking my work Consulting the Scriptures these came into my mind Act. 6. 4. we will give our selves continually to Prayer and to the Ministry of the word where I saw that such as were called of God to preach the word ought to make it their business and give up themselves to it Rom. 1. 1. 14. 15. here I saw that one separated to the Gospel of Christ was a debter bound and should be ready as much as in him lieth Isa 40. 9. O thou that bringest good tidings to Zion get the up into the high mountains lift up thy voice with strength lift it up be not afraid Reading this Scripture in my ordinary course I found it set home with life and power in reference to my present doubt Get the up lift up thy voice It removed the great obstacle of fear What would men say and think of my forwardness Be not afraid I was the more confirmed by considering this Scripture is mainly directed to such as God hath sent to preach the gospel by comparing this Scripture with Isa 52. 7. and Rom. 10. 15. And the Scripture did the more affect me because it was in this manner set home after prayer when I had been seeking God in reference to this doubt Act. 18. 5. Paul was pressed in Spirit and testified hence I saw the Ministers of God may take encouragement to preach the word from inward pressures of Spirit Having these inducements to preach on the week day I set apart as before the 21th of April to seek God by fasting and prayer to direct me what to do Having put up my request to him in the name of Jesus Christ I shall consider what motives I have to it and what dissuasives from it and judge of both according to the Scriptures and do therein as the Lord shall direct me by his word and Spirit ' The Arguments moving to it are these 1. I Find God much enlarging my Meditations so as I am a long while ere I can dispatch the Subject I enter upon whereby I foresee I shall go over but few heads in Divinity while I stay unless I preach oftener And I know not what the meaning of God
expired after he had begun his Week-day Lecture when the Mayor and one of the Aldermen of Colchester in Essex whither his fame reached applied themselves to him at Cambridge desiring him to accept their Lecturers place then void With which motion he so far only then complied as to promise to come over to them and Preach a Sermon or two among them which he performed about three weeks after After his Preaching the House of Aldermen and Common Council met and unanimously agreed to choose him to be their Town-Lecturer to Preach on Lords days Afternoon and on the Wednesday every Week Which choice had also the general Suffrage of the Sober and Godly people in Town and Country thereabout Which being signified to him by some of the Aldermen and Common Council after six weeks deliberation for so long time he designed to give his Answer seeking God for direction as his constant manner was having no objections before him as to Conscience in the case nor any obligation to stay at Cambridge save only the peoples desire which he Answered from Luke 4. 42. 43. and Act. 18. 20. and considering the joynt unanimous agreement of persons different in Judgment for it was a divided place in calling him he consented to their Choice and undertook that Charge As he had experienced Gods owning and Sealing of his Ministry in his first Catechistical Exercise in the Colledge and his first Sermon after his Ordination with much happy success also in Cambridge so here he had the same encouragement God making his first Sermon effectual upon the heart of a Dutchman and his second or third upon another person noted for a Sinner who came out of Novelty to hear him Concerning whom he might say as St. Paul 1 Thess 1. 9. They shew of us what manner of entring we had to you But it fared with him here at Colchester as it did at Cambridge he thought he did not work enough and therefore asked leave and freely offered himself to preach also on the Lords day Mornings at St. James's Church not desiring any outward reward for it which was granted and accepted He was to this place a very great Blessing not only as to their Spiritual but Temporal concerns also It was observed that during his abode and the liberty of his Ministry there the Town prospered and exceedingly flourished in Trade For even the good things of this life doth the Gospel carry with it Here he laboured in the Word and Doctrine till by the Act of Uniformity he was with the rest of his Brethren debarred from the publick Exercise of his Ministry Yet not thinking himself bound to be his own Executioner and there being mutual obligations by Contract between the Town and him that the one should not eject nor the other desert without so long warning he did after the fatal Bartholomew continue his publick Preaching some time till having occasion to take a Journey into Cambridgeshire in his absence another was put into his place by the B. of L. From thenceforth with St. Paul Act. 28. 30 31. he dwelt three whole years in his own hired house and received all that came in unto him Preaching the Kingdom of God with all confidence till God sent the raging Pestilence into the Town An. 1665. at which Providence he was greatly affected and while he saw many and even the Shepherds of the flock hastening their flight from the pestilence that walked in darkness and the Destruction that wasted at noon day and others smitten with the Arrows of the Almighty daily passing into eternity Such compassion he had for perishing souls and Such Zealous desire of their salvation and Such hope that the word might be more effectuall in that day of Gods sore Judgment that he sent to the Magistrates and freely offered if they would indulge him the liberty of a publick Church to stay and preach to that poor distressed people till either God should take him away by death or cause the pestilence to cease Which being denied him he entertained thoughts of removing out of Town And having sought of God a right way for himself his little ones and his substance He received Satisfaction concerning the lawfulness of removing in time of Pestilence from Isa 26. 20. Hide thy self for a little moment until the Indignation be over past and encouragement to hope that the presence of God should go with him from Gen. 28. 15. I am with thee and will keep thee in all places whither thou goest c. adding thereto Gal. 3. 7 9. where he observed that all Believers have right to the promises made to Abraham Isaac and Jacob. Accordingly Aug. 25. 1665. He removed his Family to Chattisham â—n Suffolk about 12 miles distant from Colcheâ—â—er Being now come to a place where he was a perfect stranger having no acquaintance with the neighbour-hood and considering the evil and danger of the times He had many doubts and fears within himself concerning the comfort of his abiding there but quickly received satisfaction from the holy Scriptures his dailydelight and Counsellers which he thus recorded Aug. 27. Being the first Sabbath after I came to Chattisham In the morning as I was reading in my private devotions Ezek. 37. which was the Chapter that fell out in course in my private reading I was much affected with some passages in the beginning of the Chapter From whence I observed for my instruction 1. Not to question my call to Chattisham though it should be a dry place where I should want that communion of the Saints which I had at Colchester and my wonted opportunities of doing and receiving Good Ezekiel a prophet of the Lord fitted by his gifts and call to do God Service when he was carried into a valley where there was no living creature to converse withal but dead mens bones yet he was carried thither by the hand and spirit of the Lord. ver 1. 2. God may have Special Service for us to do in those places were we judging according to sense think there can be no opportunities of â—ervice at all Who would have thought there had been any work for Ezekiel as a prophet amongst dead mens bones yet even there he had Prophesying work and composed that Prophecy which raised up the dying faith and hope of the whole House of Israel 3. When God commands us to Prophesie or to preach his word the greatest improbabilities of Success imaginable should not discourage us from our work Though we should think there is no more hopes of doing good to them to whom we preach than there is by speaking to the wind or Preaching to dead mens bones yet we should go on with our work Ezekiel at Gods command Prophesies to dry and dead bones concerning which when he was asked whether they could live he replied that he could not tell God only knew v. 3. And they have the Spirit of life breathed into them He Prophesieth to the wind and that obeyeth v. 9. 10. This Scripture
more precious and I was encouraged to go on with confidence And I determined to eye this promise for the future when I should go forth where I might probably meet with disturbance Dec. 25. 65. As I was reading in my course Luke 6. I observed from v. 11 12. from Christs practice who in those days when his Enemies were filled with madness against him and Communed one with another what they might do unto him went out into a Mountain to pray and continued all night in prayer to God I observed I say hence that it was my duty to give my self much unto prayer at such times as I had any Enemies that laid wait for me to do me hurt Within a day or two after one of the Constables came to me and told me that his fellow Constable when he had drunk somewhat liberally opened his heart to him and told him that there had been some Communication between him and one of the Deputy Lieutenants about presenting me at the Sessions and about my Meetings I thought upon that place in Luke 6. 11 12. after he was gone and went up into my Chamber to pray And as I was meditating on this matter that Scripture Deut. 33. 12. was brought to my remembrance The beloved of the Lord shall dwell in safety by him c. I was strengthened in my adherence to this promise because God had lately made out his love to my Soul as I was pleading this promise in prayer that passage was set home He shall cover thee all the day long Whence I did hope that the Lord who had helped me hitherto would still cover me under the shadow of his wings After I had been at prayer I considered Jacobs carriage when he was in danger of suffering by his brother Esau After he had been wrestling with God in prayer and pleading the promise he betook himselfto the use of the most probable means for appeasing Esau I also used the most probable means to prevent trouble at the ensuing Sessions and it pleased God so to order things at the Sessions that I met with no trouble Blessed be God who alone maketh me to dwell in safety Jun. 22. As I was exercising in my Family in the Afternoon several of my friends being with me I had word sent me that the Mayor and Justices would come down to my house whereupon being near the end of my Exercise I quickly concluded After I had done and dismissed the people one of the Constables came to me and told me he was sent to dissolve my Meeting but had a trembling upon him when he spake to me He added that he blessed God that had given him an heart to come some times himself and his Wife to my Meetings so that instead of doing me any hurt he gave glory to God that inclined him to come to hear me In Octob. 1670. I was presented in the Ecclesiastical Court for Preaching But God stood by me and encouraged me with that word Ps 103. 31. And though my Adversaries proceeded so far as to get out an Excommunication against me yet the Lord raised up deliverance for me that the Court took off my Excommunication without appearing before them or paying any Fees Yea so far was he from declining the exercise of his Ministry for fear of suffering that when he had been persuaded thereto by the importunity of friends he was much dissatisfied concerning which thus he records I promised Mr. B. to Preach at White Colne on Octob. 23. accordingly on Saturday I was prepared to go H. P. came in and told us that the Soldiers had seized Mr. B. and imprisoned him and that it would not be safe for me to go at that season all my friends and Relations dissuaded me but notwithstanding my mind stood to go But being importuned to stay and having been very lately sought after by name by the Soldiers in those parts and weighing the Providence in sending H. P. to my house with this Intelligence as I was about to take Horse I determined to cast my self on my Brother Cole's determination who was then at my house and he determining that I should not go I stayed at home But that night and the next day I was under much despondency of Spirit for missing such an opportunity of Service yet God was gracious to me and revived me It was some stay to my mind what I read Mat. 16. 20. Where I observed that the divulging of the most necessary truths was at some seasons and in some places prohibited by Jesus Christ I was further satisfied from Act. 16. 6 7. whence I observed that the frustrating of our Attempts and designs to Preach the Gospel to particular places that we purposed to go to did sometimes arise from the Holy Ghost And from Psal 52. 9. I had a damp upon my Spirit and was hindred from praising God for my deliverance from my Enemies hands because I had missed an opportunity of Service But this Scripture convinced me that I ought to praise God for this Providence though attended with some afflicting Circumstances By these Scriptures and Prayer I obtained satisfaction and the Lord Answered my desire and fully quieted my mind Once a very zealous and active Prosecutor of the Non-conformists obtained a Warrant against him upon the Oxford Act directed to all the Chief Constables and petty-Constables in the County to apprehend him Accordingly an Officer a stranger came to Execute it and when he was nigh the house he espied two persons whom by their habit he judged to be Ministers walking in a field the one was Mr. Stockton the other Mr. Senior of Hackney whom God hath also lately taken away He hasteneth to them and told them he had a Warrant against one of them but he knew neither Mr. Senior asked which of them He Answered Mr. Stockton Let me see your Warrant said Mr. Senior he shewed it him verily concluding from thence that he was the man Some Little Girls were there walking with them who did industriously cling to Mr. Senior as if he had been their Father which further confirmed him in his Error While Mr. Senior read the Warrant and the Officer was intent upon him Mr. Stockton walked aside and when Mr. Senior saw him beyond his reach he convinced the Officer of his Error who thereby was disappointed of his prey Being thus secured by the Providence of God through Faith and Prayer from the danger of Adversaries he thankfully acknowledged the whole glory thereof to God thus In reading 2 Chron. 20. 30. The Realm of Jehoshaphat was quiet for his God gave him rest round about God caused me to take notice that my living in rest and quietness being free from the molestation of my Enemies was the gift of God and came to pass by his Providence not from the privacy of the place where I lived or from the peaceable disposition of my Neighbours I was also instructed what I should return unto the Lord for keeping me from the
deafness to his voice 2. To put us upon more earnest seeking of him 3. To exercise and try our graces God proportions mercies according to his delays they are the greater when given in Sarah tarried long for a Son and then had an Isaac So did Hanna but then had a Samuel So Elizabeth but then had a John my heart rejoyced at this hoping that God would give an high degree of brokenness of heart in his own due time though at present my heart were hard And I remembred how hard Mr. Bradfords heart was once as to his own sense and how eminent he was afterward for tenderness as M. Fox Relates God was very good this day But Oh! how vile and sinful was I I felt a very proud vain-glorious heart both in hearing and after Sermon was done But the Lord chastised me for it For at night when I Preached in the Chappel the Lord forsook me I found no assistance of his Spirit either in Prayer or Preaching but was much confounded in both having little or no sense of the things I spake of or prayed for We read of Naaman 2 King 5. 11. that he expected a Miraculous way of cure I thought said he he will surely come out and stand and call on the Name of the Lord his God and strike his hand over the place and recover the Leper So have I found my self apt to expect that the Spirit of God should mortifie and subdue sin in me without my striving against it But I have learned it is the will of God that I should strive against sin as well as pray and wait for his Spirit Gods working in us to will and to do excludes not our endeavouring Phil. 2. 12 13. Having promises let us cleanse our selves 2 Cor. 7. 1. Octob. 17. I was immoderate in the use of the Creatures and though checked and reproved from within yet I persisted At night when I walked in my Chamber considering what I had done I was sad and said to God Lord I have Rebelled against thee I had no sooner said it in my heart but immediately that word was brought to me Dan. 9. 9. To the Lord our God belong mercies and forgivenesses he will forgive again and again though we have Rebelled against him O the wonderful goodness of God! be amazed O my Soul at this Love Now I saw the promise Isa 65. 24. before they call I will answer and whilst they are yet speaking I will hear made good to me In the evening on my Bed considering on this Love of God whence it should come to pass that the Lord should deal thus graciously with me it was answered me from Mic. 7. 18. He passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage because he delighteth in mercy Next morning at my first awaking the Spirit of God brought that Scripture into my thoughts Ps 65. 3. Iniquities prevail against me as for our trangressions thou shalt purge them away It came to me with some life and power and was very sutable to my Condition Oh the Goodness of God! the Riches of his Grace that he should so soon come into my relief and raise my Soul by his promise this is mercy never to be forgotten Sept. 28. In meditation I found the Lord drawing forth my heart to close with Christ I was convinced that God was willing to bestow his Son upon me because he did not only invite me Isa 55. 1. and Command me 1 Joh. 3. 23. but even beseech and entreat me to receive Christ 2 Cor. 5. 20. I was further convinced of Gods real intention and willingness to give me his Son from his patient waiting and long-suffering in expecting my return even after much deafness to the voice of his Spirit and dallying with his Grace he still offers his Son to me yea he presseth in upon me with the renewing of good motions and affections which I have quenched Now whence is all this but from the Love and mercy of God that he should be thus willing to have me take his Son Now who am I that I should withstand God Why should I forsake my own Mercies Lord thou hast shewn me that my former revoltings shall not hinder this thy mercy if I will acknowledge my sin renounce my self return unto thee and embrace thy Son Jer. 3. 12 13. O Lord I thankfully accept thy offer of Grace I come unto thee Oh give me thy Son behold I give thee my self Let me be Espoused to the Lord Jesus I am willing through grace to take up my Cross to deny my self and to follow thee Nov. 1. Having set apart that day to seek the Lord and to humble my Soul before him I could not get my heart to be afflicted and mourn under sin but found much lightness in Prayer the Lord hid his face and did not come in to my poor Soul with his quickning presence So that I lay in a poor desolate forsaken condition under much confusion yet in the evening a little before going to bed seeking the Lord again I was revived in reading Psal 40. especially v. 17. I am poor and needy yet the Lord thinketh upon me c. and next morning in reading Psal 9. 10. 18. Thou Lord hast not forsaken them that seek thee The needy shall not alway be forgotten the expectation of the poor shall not perish for ever I was thereby encouraged still to wait and hope O Lord I have sought thee withhold not thou thy tender Mercies from me How long wilt thou hide thy face from me O when wilt thou come unto me Make hast to help me O my God I am poor and needy O let me not be forgotten for ever let not my expectation perish for ever and now O Lord what is my expectation It is even this the giving in of mercy and grace through the Lord Jesus pardoning mercy and renewing grace It is the pouring out of thy Spirit the taking away the heart of Stone and giving an heart of flesh it is an heart to know thee to fear thee to love thee and obey thee c. Dec. 6. Being in trouble and distress of Spirit because the Lord hid his face and withdrew himself from me I went in the poverty of my Spirit to Trinity Lecture and with some expectation to meet with God in his own Ordinance The Lord was gracious to me and spake Comfort to me from his Word I see it is good to wait upon God though he send the Rich empty away yet he filleth the hungry with good things My Soul was glad and rejoyced for a season But going into the Country the same day among friends and variety of worldly Affairs I lost something of the savour and relish which the good Word of God left upon me And I found palpably my Soul resting in those Comforts which I had received and growing secure and careless from whence the Lord gave me this Instruction That I am a poor silly wretch knowing neither how
to want nor how to abound apt to murmur and repine in Straits and to be lifted up and grow secure in Enlargements O Lord in every Condition I need thy grace to teach me how to behave my self O shew me thy way and lead me therein for thy Name-sake Also the Lord taught me hence that I ought to be patient under his hand when he hideth his Face and to resign up my will to his Will inasmuch as I do not know what is good for my self The Lord seeth I should be worse it may be if I enjoyed more than I do and therefore in wisdom and mercy he keeps me in a low Condition My confusion sometimes hath been so great that I have been so unsetled and at such a loss in my Soul that I knew not what to do all former workings have been questioned and judged as nothing In the hour of such temptation the Lord taught me besides Prayer and searching into my Soul to have recourse to former experiences Psal 77. 10 11. and Psal 85. Octob. 11. In the morning I bewailed it before God that I was still at a loss to know whether I loved him and after Prayer I read 1 Joh. 2 ch and I was made in a more special manner to take notice of v. 5. Whoso keepeth his word in him verily is the love of God perfected Me-thought I saw God Answering my Prayer and telling me out of this word that I loved him In him verily 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 it is a sure sign of Love to God we need not doubt of it if we keep his Word Now if I know my own heart I desire to do so if the Love of God be perfected in him that keeps his Word then surely it is begun in him that desires and endeavours to keep his Word Jan. 25. The Lord helped me with Tears to bewall mine abominations even my Original and actual sins my formality Earthliness alienation from him c. therein he did remember and fulfil that gracious promise Ezek. 36. 31. I found Godly sorrow sweet not only in the root and fountain thereof it being a Covenant blessing but in the very Actings of it Feb. 2. In the Evening upon my Bed the Lord did graciously melt my heart in the sight of sin under this Consideration that it was against infinite Love I was ashamed confounded and abashed because I had so long slighted neglected Rebelled against a God of Love My Soul even trembled at it Jan. 15. 1655. Having been the day before with one under great Temptations and hearing of another under a wounded Spirit my heart was melted in Prayer whilst I was praising God for his long patience in the days of my sinning and his tenderness and gentleness towards me in my Conversion Jan. 16. I found my heart drawn out to a recumbence on Jesus Christ The Spirit saith Come Rev. 22. 17. Christ saith Come Joh. 7. 37. And the Father saith Come Mat. 22. 4. And who am I O Lord that I should gainsay such Invitations Behold O Lord I come and put my trust in thee Jan. 26. I Preached twice and had very gracious assistance much beyond expectation in the week before I was much indisposed and could not get my heart to a setled meditation of what I was to speak I was under a great sense of my impotency and laboured in the fire till Saturday Afternoon when I cried to the Lord he was gracious to me and Answered me After my work was over I was much assaulted with Spiritual Pride I saw plainly the reason of Gods delaying his Assistance and giving me such sense of my weakness was to keep me humble Every way O Lord I see my own vileness when thou withdrawest from me then my heart dieth and my strength fails and I am ready to be froward When thou enlargest me then I am ready to be puffed up Oh pardon and purge away all my sin for thy Names sake Mar. 23. In Singing the 15 th Psalm I found Comfort my Conscience bearing me witness that I laboured after those things which are set down as Characters of a Citizen of the New Jerusalem Sept. 28. I had sweet Meditations upon my Bed I found God in my morning Prayer also in private and assistance in Preaching but not such an influence of the Spirit in publick Prayer as I have sometimes found Yet I had begged of God that he would give me his presence in publick as a token that he accepted of me and my work but he withdrew I feared hereupon that I had tempted God and sinned in begging new signs of his favour when I had had such great experience of his goodness many times before Lord forgive the sin of thy Servant Nov. 23. Examining my self about a work of Grace I had some Comfort from Ps 40. 8. Delight in doing the will of God is an Argument of the Law written in the heart Now I found that I had a delight especially in some duties as visiting the Sick comforting of distressed Consciences c. I was somewhat terrified from that word in Job ch 42. 7. I was afraid least in my Preaching I should sometimes speak those things of God that were not right and soon after going to Prayer I was in time of Prayer comforted from Joh. 16. 13. The Spirit shall guide you into all truth Dec. 7. I found the Lord very much Answering my Prayer in giving very gracious and powerful Assistance both in Prayer and Preaching at Trinity Lecture on Sabbath day I may say as Jaber 1 Chron. 4. 10. who said Oh that thou wouldest bless me indeed and be with me And God granted my request The next morning there came a woman to me and said she was troubled at the Sermon that she could scarce sleep all night for she bad not gone so far as the Scribes and Pharisees and that which added to the mercy was God kept me humble after this enlargement Mar. 31. 1657. I had a very evident Answer of Prayer I was at a pinch for some money I begged of God that I might be supplied and that Afternoon one to whom I had lent a little money brought it me which was enough for my present necessities the Circumstances were very remarkable I sought the Lord also to be with the Parish in the choice of their Church-Wardens and there were those two chosen whom if I had had the Nomination I should have chosen my self Apr. 21. I kept a day of Fast to the Lord. I found God graciously with me in Prayer the chief thing that I propounded was to seek direction as to my Preaching on Week-days Among other things I begged of God a supply of my wants being in some straits for want of money That very night one brought me 10 s. for Preaching a Funeral Sermon which I expected not and the next morning the Church-Wardens of St. Andrews Parish brought me 7 l. and upwards whereby I was sufficiently supplied I could not but take notice of
strength of Adversaries Jan. 1. 1673. I awaked about four of the Clock in the morning and had many sweet meditations in my Bed for the space of about two hours I then resolved with my self to engage my heart afresh and to renew my Covenant with the Lord the beginning of this New year to be the Lords Servant to serve the Lord and his Son Jesus Christ all the remainder of the days I have to live in this world in such service as he should see meet to employ me The encouragements and inducements that were brought to my mind and drew out my heart willingly and cheerfully to give up my self to the Lord to serve him and his Son Jesus Christ were these 1. His promise of affording his Presence and Assistance to such as are his Servants and to be their God Isa 41. 8 9 10. 2. The great and precious promises made to his Servants Isa 54. per totum Which concludeth thus v. 17. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord. 3. We glorifie God when we serve him Isa 49. 3. Thou art my Servant O Israel in whom I will be glorified 4. God hath done great things for me both for my outward and inward man and the only thing that he requires of me is to serve him in truth and sincerity 1 Sam. 12. 24. 5. All Christs Servants shall assuredly be with him where he is and shall be honoured of the Father Joh. 12. 26. and shall enter into the joy of their Lord. Mat. 25. 21. May 19. 1676. Reading Levit. 22. 3. Whosoever of the Priests in their generations went unto the holy things which the Children of Israel did hallow unto the Lord having his uncleanness upon him that Soul should be cut off from the presence of the Lord And the ensuing Sabbath being Sacrament day I considered with my self 1 st That greater Reverence is due to the Lords Supper than to the holy things under the Law 2 ly Moral uncleanness is greater than Ceremonial 3 ly Therefore I considered how I might go to this Ordinance and Administer it to others without having my uncleanness upon me that is how I might be purged from my uncleanness To that end I determined 1. Humbly to acknowledge confess and bewail the uncleanness of my heart lips and life before the Lord. Isa 6. 5 6 7 8 9. When the Prophet bemoaned his uncleanness the Lord purged it away and sent him to do his Office 2. To go to the fountain set open for sin and for uncleanness Zech. 13. 1. that is to act my faith on the blood of Christ which cleanseth from all sin 1 Joh. 1. 7. 3. To rest upon God by faith for fulfilling his Covenant wherein he hath promised to cleanse me from all my filthiness and to save me from all my uncleanness Ezek. 36. 25 29. Act. 15. 9. 4. To plead earnestly with God to take away all iniquities Hos 14. 2. and to create in me a clean heart Ps 51. 10. and to succeed my prayers with endeavours to put away evil and uncleanness out of my heart and life Isa 1. 16. 18. 2 Cor. 7. 1. These are many of those judicious observations which this holy person made and those spiritual experiences he found and recorded for his own use that he might always have at hand before him the manner and method of Gods dealing with his Soul the workings of Corruption and grace his lapses and recoveries his combates and victories over world sin and Satan his perseverance and progress in holiness the secret intercourse between God and his soul the withdrawings and Returns of the Holy Spirit the faithfulness of Gods Covenant the truth of his word sensibly felt in his heart food for his faith encouragement to walk with God with experimental instruction how to comfort troubled Consciences In which part of the ministry he had a peculiar excellency beyond most part of his Brethren for partly by his diligent searching of the Holy Scripture partly by observing and recording the method of the Holy Ghost towards himself and partly by discoursing with troubled Consciences wherein as he was much exercised so he took much delight he was so acquainted with the various cases of Conscience and so well understood both Case and cure that it may be truly said of him The Lord God had given him the tongue of the learned that he might know how to speak a word in season to the weary On which account he might be sirnamed Barnabas a Son of Consolation It was his usual manner in preaching to foresee and raise such objections as troubled Souls are prone to make against themselves and to solve them with much clearness and satisfaction And many applications of such Souls were made to to him in private as to a Skillful Experienced Spiritual Physitian whose advice God succeeded with his blessing to the encouragement of the faith and hope of many doubting Christians that walked in darkness which are here published not only as Instances and demonstrations of that Spirit of Light and grace that power of Godliness which possessed and governed his heart and life and fitted him to be such a useful instrument for the Service of Christ and his Church on which account his memory is worthily honourable and precious to all good men But especially for the Instruction direction relief support and encouragement of others who are following him though at a great distance in that narrow way which leadeth to that life to which he is arrived They who labour and are heavy laden who are bowed down under the power and weight of their sin wrestling with Corruption and temptation exercised with darkness and doubtings with fears and faintings They who are called to difficult service which require much labour and diligence and self-denial and may expose them to the hazard and danger of this evil world may hence take Counsel and encouragement while they read the sense and workings of their own hearts in the experiences the method and practicablenesse of their duty in the example of this Eminent Saint We have hitherto seen somethings of his Conscience of Sin and duty his industry and zeal for the Service and glory of God his combates with the flesh and Satan his Love to Christ and his Church his Spirituality in Religion His longings and breathings after God His remembring God upon his bed and meditating on him in the night watches his wise improvement of the Holy Scriptures his due fulfilling of all Relations his Holy manner of Living to God From whence we may rationally conclude that surely he gave this diligence unto the full assurance of hope that he tasted the Consolation of God and received the earnest of Glory that he walked upon the top of Pisgah in the light of Gods countenance and in the sight of the Heavenly Canaan Which priviledge indeed the God of peace and comfort did not deny him He was a man as of much grace so of much peace an instance of that