worldly estate Lectures Contribution towards the maintaining of Lectures in such places where there was some defect in the publique meanes In her own parish in the Country she encouraged a weekly Lecture during the time of her retirement in the Country upon her owne charge Her House was the Rendevouze for the godly Ministery within many miles of her habitation and her Table their Ordinary not only upon Lecture dayes but upon all occasions Thither repaired tempted souls doubting consciences opposed Ministers oppressed Christians she was either their Oracle or their Advocate Divers Exiles of Hungaria Transilvania Polonia Exiles have been nourished and preserved by her bounty Oh how active to bring it soules to Jesus Christ what pains she took to inform the ignorant to reform the places where she lived how studious to promote the power of godliness to gain in opposers to bring out of the snare of the Divel such as were taken captive at his pleasure yet stil within her own line and circle she was very active but no busibody ever serviceable but never excentrick Such a rare skill she had to distinguish between doing good and medling out of her sphere And I am humbly confident as it was her ambition so it is her happiness that she is not gone to Heaven alone Constant conscientious Attendance on publick ordinances Sixthly she was a constant and consciencious attendant on the publick Ordinancâ—s Word Sacrament Prayer c. She forsook not the Assemblies of the Saints as the manner of some is But watched daily at the gâ—tes and waited at the posts of wisdom And that with this addition of commendation Prov. 8.34 in her own place She was not a gadding fancifull Professor who took a pride to be seen in Forreign Assemblies either to gratifie an humour or to get a name she lookt upon it as a duty to own and strengthen the hands of the Ministery under which God had placed her She attended the ordinances in her own place She was afraid she should sin to desert those who for their faithfulness met with opposition enough besides from them that are without She counted it no Popery to say my Minister my Pastor though in the meane time she was not ignorant of her priviledge 1 Cor. 3.22 how that Paul and Apollo and Cephas was hers which priviledge accordingly she made use of in the proper season c. when Congregational vacancy justified her going abroad Hence dayes of publick humiliation weekly Lectures and other occasional Assemblies both publick and private were the constant witnesses of her unwearied devotion yet all this without the least trespass upon her Domestick Affairs as I shall tell you hereafter As thus she was Constâ—nt So likewise was she Consciencious in her publick attendances The time she spent in preparation BEFORE and in reflection and meditation AFTER the solemn Assemblies was incredible especially considering what time she spent with her Family Oh how abundant she was in the work of the Lord how severe in observing her times for duty both Domestique and personal and how provident to prevent or evade distractions Surely she was truly what the Father said of St. Paul Insatiâ—bilis Dei cultrix An insatiable worshipper of God Hence she attained to a high degree and eminency in holiness you see I am faine to twist in the second strein of excellency with the first A Christian she was of a most gracious spirit and a most holy life with how much heavenly mindedness did she winde through a world of unavoidable distractions in the world Surely she did weare her Profession with as few stains and carried as unblemished an holiness with her to Heaven as most Christians whom this generation hath known A woman of a most Spiritual and profitable Society The Law of God was in her heart Psal 37.31 and therefore her mouth spake wisdom and her tongue talked of judgment vers 30. out of the abundance of her heart her mouth spake to edification Matth. 12.34 there is none that ever did converse with her but if they did not goe away better then they came it was their own fault She was alwaies giving or taking With weake Christians she would teach with strong she would learn with all she would be sweet and savory She had Exquisitely got the art of Time-redemption As in the Character here she opened her mouth in wisdome Prov. 31.26 and in her tâ—ngue was the law of kindness Stability in judgement Seventhly Hence also her stability in judgement Unsetled hearing usually begets unsetledness in opinion Erratick hearers though of the better complexion usually are not the most stable Christians they have many times their fâ—ncies and their why bibbles and their crotchets wherewith they doe rather trouble themselves and others then edifie She was none of them through grace she stood like a rock against all blasts of Heresie and Schisme and did not only stand by her principles but as a Daughter of wisdom was in a very good measure able to justifie wisdom and give a reason of the hope which was in her She was a well-bottomed Christian of a sound judgement 1 Cor. 2. ult she had the minde of Christ In the ninth place Ninth she was not a censorious Christian as some Professors are who are alwayes finding fault and many times where they cannnot finde the make offences and seldom have a good word for any but themselves But this worthy Gentlewoman had much of the character of charity in her bearing all things believing all things hoping all things and enduring all things 1 Cor. 13.7 wich were any way capable of a fairer interpretation The truth is she found so much work to doe at home in her own heart that she had little leasure to stir abroad It is a pretty Criticism that the same word in the Greek which signifieth to be idle 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 or ior arguo signifieth also to censure implying that idle Christians are most censorious She would often say to me that she durst not too critically enquire into or judge others who came to the Sacrament unless she knew them scandalous she had enough to doe to make out her own right to that tremendous Ordinance Ninethly she was of a most sweet and chearfull spirit Chearfulness she did not want her crosses and trials and great ones too yet seldom was there a cloud seen upon her countenance the ground Whereof was the inward serenitie which she possest in her own spirit in the sence of Gods love and her interest in Christ of which she had most precious Scripture evidence which was ballast to her soule in all weathers Surely the joy of the Lord was her strength Nehem. 18.10 Tenthly and lastly She was beyond all parallel good in her Relations Never Mother had a better C ie never children bad a better Mother never Servants had a better Governour never Friends a better Friend
who had the happinesse of more intimate Converse and acquaintance with her She was Vniversally Eminently Perseveringly good She was Universally good with that Elizabeth in the Gospell she walked in all the commanâ—ements and statutes of God blameless inopem me câ—pia fecit Thardly know where to begin less how to make an end of very much that I could say of her I will confine my selfe to these 10. Excellencies First she was a most knowing Christian 1 Knowldg she had attained to an high degree of proficiency in the School of Christ she was as emminently verst in the methods of Grace and the Mistery of godlinesse able to speak as distinctly and pertinently to any piece of an inward practicall Christian as any of her Sex and standing in Religion that ever I had the happiness to be acquainteâ— with When I first set upon Sacrament-Reformation in thiâ— place she was the first in aâ—â— the Congregation that appeared in the countenancing and incouraging of that worâ— at which time she gave the most singular account of the work of grace and confessiâ—â— of her faith that I have hard to the very high satisfaction and admiration of such as were present Wisdome Scientia is an habit of principles in the understanding Sapientia a right improvement of those principles unto practise 2. And her knowledge was not only notional swimming in the Brain wherewith most of the professors of this age please themselves but her knowledge was joyned with wisdome and prudence whereby she brought down all her principles into practise and turned every DOCTRINE into VSE what light there was in her judgement warned down into her heart beamed out most gloriously in her life conversation She was a practical Christian and indeed her knowledge was the fruit of her obedience according to the tenour of that blessed promise of our Saviour Joh. 7.17 If any man will doe Gods will he shall know his Dotrine A strange Methode In nature knowledg precedes action in Grace action precedes knowledge where there is an obeâ—ientiall disposition knowledge flowes in a pace they that doe Gods will that they may know it and Labour to know Gods will that they may doe it are the thriving Christians So it was with this Excellent woman Her knowledg and practise â—ran paralâ—el and did mutually transfuse vigour and vivacitie one into an other 3. Notwithstanding the greatnesse of her knowledge She was of Singular humility Her knowledg did not puff her up Humility 1 Cor 8.1 her head was not so high but her heart lay as low She was as mean in her own eyes as she was honorable in the eyes of standers by She was a Christian of infinite worth but She knew it not Proud professors doe not usually speak more contemptuously of others then she would doe of her selfe she was of Iobs Spirit Though She were prefect she would not know her owne soul she did despise her selfe Iob. 9.21 And this humility of hers was the Nurse to all her other graces Humilitas conâ—srvatrix virtutum Bern. faith is the mother humilitie the nurse 4. She was a woman of a Meek anâ— quiet spirit Meekness which rendered her very beautifull in the eyes of God and man She could not provoke any nor easily be provoked by any She had much of the wisdom which is from above which is first pure then peaceable gentle and easie to be intreated She was most fearfull to give offence but most free to forgive it the reason was evident God had forgiven her thousands of talents and therefore she thought it noâ— much to forgive a few pence 5. She was a Mercifull Christian full of bowells the Love of Christ both active and passive i.e. Christs lovâ— to her Mercy and her love to Christ had melted her all into Compassion Compassioâ— to the Bodies of poor Creatures Compassion to souls Job 29.13 Compassion to the Outward man and compassion to the inward Compassion to the outward man The blessing of him that was ready to perish came upon her she caused the widows heart to sing for joy She might say with Iob againe If I have seen any perish for want of cloathing Iob. 31.19 or any poore without covering c. Pensioners in Kenâ— Conghurst Hawkhurst Cranbrook London Giles in the fields Ministers Great was the number of Pensioners to whom she alâ—owed weekly summs in the Country and in the Citie who now lie down in sorrow and mingle their drink with â—heir tears Many precious godly Ministers whose subsistence was scantie and meane did she support and encourage with yearly stipends whose names I could relate were I not restraind poor Scholars She was a liberal contributer to the maintaining of poore Scholars at the University witness that subscription for Kent and divers other to my knowledge Oh what sad lamentations and tears will it occasion in many places when it shall be sadly reported abroad Mrs. SCOT IS DEAD At publique Collections for the Churches abroad 10. l. Piedmond and to Calamitous places and persoâ— at home how open and liberal was her hand Besides upon all the Emergent occasions which were not rare amongst us her charity was never straitned I never desired her contribution to any work of mercy but she gave and gave liberally yea it was enough but to hint a considerable work of piety or charity Yea she would prevent asking and overdoe expectation I have been sometimes forced to use the bridle to her when the spur could not spring some cold mettle professors of far greater abilities the truth is her estate was not so large as her heart upon which account I have sometimes left her out of my addresses in many works of that nature for which when she hath occasionally understood it she hath been offended as if a great disservice had been done her The truth is she had the most generous spirit and the most liberal hand that ever I met with in her rank and quality A fifth part of her estate went in Charity By what I have observed I cannot believe she could give away lesse in a year then the fifth part of her annual Revenue And all this without a trumpet nay her left hand KNEW NOT what her right hand did Mat. 6.3 Quest. Quest It may be some will ask I but what good hath she done at her death To which I Answer Answ Somewhat she hath done though not much of which I can give you this twofold accompt 1. That Joynctures are as mortal as the persons themselves that have them indeed they dye together 2. And above all she did in her life what others doe at their death when they can keep it no longer she made her own eyes her overseers and her hands her Executors And her mercy to souls was not lesse then her mercy to the body Mercy to the inward man That was one issue of her
breaking of our loines Ezek. 21.6 One choice Jewel among the rest God has of late gathered to his Cabinet namely pious precious Mistresse Scott Concerning whom because you desired my concurrent Testimony as being one so well known to me having been a member of my Congregation for divers years together till she came to be under your charge I have this to say She was a Gentlewoman of a choice spirit of a marvelous sweet temper and disposition of an amiable winning carriage and of a truly pious and Religious conversation She was one that made Religion her businesse her 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 not her 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 〈◊〉 She made it her constant course vigorously to drive a Trade for heaven and to be pressing towards the mark even the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus She was not like those that Austin speaks of qui utuntur Deo ut fruantur mundo But she made use of the world but as a foot-stool to raise up her soul to the enjoyment of God as her portion for ever She was not weary of Gods service like those hypocrites that said what a wearinesse is it Mal. 1.13 but duty was her delight and sin her greatest burden The world did not make her weary of duty but duty made her weary of the world Her constant frequenting of Ordi ances wherein she was both eminent and exemplary her closest retirements wherein she saw often a glimpse of that glory which she now enjoys in the bosom of Jesus Christ made her long earnestly to be at her fathers house and to breath out her Cupio desolvi Oh that I might be with him whom my soul loveth In brief she made haste to heaven lived much in a little time holding forth the Word of life by a holy and undaunted profession holding fast the Word of Truth by a constant and undaunted Resolution and so finished her course with joy Therefore I conceive that this Text which you sweetly opened at her Funeral was rightly and suitably applied to her Many daughters have done virtuously c. This Testimony I have given not for her sake that is dead but for the sake of those that are living The dead praise not the Lord saith David Psal 115.17 Look as the dead return no praises to the living God so neither do they regard any praises from living men Our commendations cannot help them our discōmendations cannot hurt them as our prayers cannot reach them so neither can our praises profit them But happy surely are they that can tread in the Steps of those blessed Saints that have gone before us whose faith follow saith the Apostle considering the end of their conversation Heb. 13.7 If we do as they did we shall speed as they sped The Lord of his infinite mercy help us to serve our generation faithfully as this eminent godly Gentlewoman did that we may do every days duty with Christian chearfulnesse and bear every days burden with Christian patience and in the midst of all changes straites and stormes hold out with Christian perseverance that in the end of our dayes we may receive the end of our hopes even the salvation of our souls It is and shall be the hearty prayer of Your affectionate loving Friend and Brother in the Lords Work JA. NALTON Mrs. SCOTS own writings which she hath left under her own hand A Little before her death she began to write in a book her experiences of Gods goodness to her and intended to have filled it up but she was taken away before she had done many leaves of it onely she had written before divers things in some papers In the Book she beginneth and proceedeth thus SOme notes to keep speciall things in my remembrance that I may be quickned to answer Gods ends in all his gracious dealings to me to whom all his ways have been mercy and truth and I desire my ways towards him may be constrained obedience from faith and love wrought by his spirit in my heart in all things How God did effectually call me at first to himself I was born a child of wrath and an heir of hell and in my youth was very vile and vain Yet I did duties in a formal way and was very confident God did love me and of my good estate Between sixteen and seventeen I was married and about nineteen year old as I was riding it being hunting time I fell down and put my leg out of joynt which was a great misery to me but in that affliction God did work on me with some convictions and resolutions if I were well again to walk in Gods wayes afterward inquiring his Providence brought Mr. Byfields Book to me the Marrow of Divinity and in reading of it God did convince me of my abundant abominable sins I made a catalogue of them I could remember and was in much trouble for them under the spirit of bondage I think some moneths but I have forgotten how long but God made sinne very bitter to me and broke my heart for my sinne and from my sinne and I know God broke my heart because his love did it many a tear of Love did I shed in the bosom of my God When the spirit of Adoption was come to me then how did I mourn for sinning against the Lord and dishonouring of his dear Name But when I was in the pangs of the Spirit of bondage and new birth I had great troubles of Conscience and grievous pangs and after that dreadfull basphemous thoughts and fain would I have run away from God looked upon his wayes as grievous and had hard thoughts of him but yet the Lord would not let me go but carried me through that I had no power to leave seeking of him and did unhook me and brought me to keep Fasts by my self and to humble my soul before him and shewed me how vile I was in a great measure and made me confesse my sinnes with shame and sorrow Then after this he made me close with Jesus Christ in a promise and gave me full assurance that all my sins were pardoned by the bloud of Jesus Christ fully and I gave up my self in Covenant to him and by his sweet influence and shining of his face and comforts of his spirit and grace he hath made me hate the most sweet and secret sin and my hatred of all sin appears because I desire the death of it and desire to be freed from the enjoyment of the sweetest pleasure of the most secret sin that I may enjoy communion with my God whose love is farre better than life and I desire so to esteem it God hath brought me to Christ and hath made me put on his righteousnesse and hath given me to Christ and given Christ to me and I know it certainly that God did choose me from all eternity because he hath made me to give up my self to Jesus Christ for these ends that Jesus Christ gave himself for me That by believing
but Jesus Christ made my faith to fight against it but it was very sad and bitter to me and after I was buffeted God made me see the vilenesse of sinne and sinful thoughts and made me in his strength resolve against all sin and to hate it and to walk colsely with my God and chuse rather to offend all the world then commit the least sinne and to lose all and suffer all miseries rather then commit the least sin For God can make ones own heart and conscience a hell to one and ones bed and all ones comforts bitter as death And I desire to prize mercy and close walkings with God to lie down and rise up with him and to pitty others This precious experience and lesson God taught me by that affliction as by many other and drave sin and vain thoughts from me in some measure making Christ sweet and fulfilling his Word in Rom. 6.14 and Rom. 8.28 My God doth give me sweet experience of the growth of grace in my soul and all from the virtue of Christs blood Before this Sacrament my preparations were not so great as they should have been but my God did drive me from resting on any thing in my self and brought me to him without money and without price and gave me sweet assurance of the truth of the work of grace on my heart I love him because he loved me first and with his loving kindnesse did he draw me This Sabbath when I went to the Sacrament I saw my preparation small and my thoughts not so sweet as they should but my heart desiring the Lord to order my thoughts aright and act my graces in singing part of the 23 Psalm before morning Sermon God sweetly melted me in some measure with some teares of love and after did as it were sweetly take me by the hand set me down at his table and comfortably intimated it was my portion and so I sat under his shadow with great delight and his fruit was sweet unto my taste and God did act my faith to take Christ and pardon sanctification mortification in his bloud and sealed deliverance from temptations by his body broken and bloud shed and all the fruits thereof some effects I had afterward and the Word was sweet and I came home rejoycing and resolving to live and die to and for and with God giving my self for ever to him to live and move all in him and by him to rest upon his word and promise and expect to live by him according to it I desire to have such a day again to receive Christ I was many wayes failing all is free grace God doth all that is good in me for I am a hell by nature but I have found most precious vertue in the blood of Jesus Christ that it hath in some measure meekened my spirit and overcome wicked thoughts in me Next Sacrament I was failing in my preparation and acting of my graces and was troubled I had no more light of Gods countenance and my corrupt nature was apt to rise but God kept it down and afterward taught me these lessons by it 1. That sin was not so bitter to me nor so bitterly bewailed by me as it ought the more bitter sin is the sweeter is Christ 2. That God would have me prize Ordinances to enjoy Christ but not to rest upon them 3. That I should live by faith and not by sence yea though there be no sence 4. That Gods loving countenance is better then life and that God would have me depending and contented with whatsoever he will give O that I could learn and practise these lessons which were precious fruits of the Ordinances This Sacrament I was failing in my meditation examination and excitation and my dead heart much hindred me in the service of the living God but the Lord brought me to his table with some assurance it was my portion and I sat under his shadow and he acted my graces I desire to magnifie free grace and to expect strength from him to do it according to the Covenant sealed in his bloud This Sacrament I had some sweet actings of faith above sence and assurance that God was my father and his power and wisdom would order all things for my good This Sacrament though I did not mourn for my sins that did slay my Saviour nor act sacramentall repentance as I ought yet by faith I received Jesus Christ and came home with some comfort and had some softnesse of heart I had sweet expeâ—ience of my Gods answering my prayer in the very thing I desired This Sacrament though I did not receive so much of Christ as I desired yet I had some sweet effects of his blood in resolving in his strength not to give way to unbelief nor sin and desiring to come again to his Ordinance This day I was at a fast and God came sweetly in and melted my heart and made his promise good that they that wait on him shall renew their strength God sweetly answered my 〈…〉 mercy for one of my children This day I did receive Jesus Christ in the Sacrament and came home rejoycing and assured my sinnes were pardoned and that Christ could as well be pulled out of heaven as I pulled from Christ I renewed my Covenant I gave my self to my God for his service for ever This Sacrament I did receive Jesus Christ and sweet influence from him and I desire to honour him in all things for ever in my soul body estate will affections and all I and all I have are his and to be at his ruling in all things at all times These are fruits of Christs bloud I desire to bear about the world with me the dying of the Lord Jesus and to be crucified to the world by his crosse and to do and suffer for him and endeavour the good of others souls and I found my inward man much strengthened and sin weakned This Sacrament God gave me some resolutions but I had not much comfort This Sacrament I had sweet assurance that my sins should be destroyed I kept a fast day by my self to seek help from God in the great strait I was in for no power but his could help me out and deliver me The Lord did graciously assist me and afterward I kept a fast in private with others about it my heart was out of fraâ—e and very heâ—vy and perplexed but God came in and melted and made the duty very sweet and at night a sweet quiet and believing waiting frame came upon my spirit God answered my prayer sweetly and particularly That text in 1 Cor. 10.13 the Lord made good to me I resolved to keep a fast by my self and humble my soul before the Lord and poure out my complaint before him and seek strength from him God sweetly encouraging me with many Scriptures and melted my heart oft pouring it into his bosome and drew me out of my self into Jesus Christ Again I kept a fast by my self to seek
motion finished her course so soon But why in respect of us is this Citizen of heaven so soon gone from us when but somewhat more then in the midst of her dayes We may fear a storm coming when the Father calleth his Children so hastily home The Lord fit us for the worst of times and our last hour When Mr. Scot her husband that godly and faithfull Magistrate died and soon after that godly and faithfuull Minister of Christ in the neighbouring place of Landherst also died it was much upon my heart that some evill was a coming and accordingly was I greatly carried out to preach among my people on Isaiah 57.1 The righteous perisheth and no man laieth it to heart and mercifull men are taken away none considering they are taken away from the evill to come And that Lords day it was finished that very week was that great rising in Kent in 1648. though I had not the least hint thereof till they were up which God was pleased notwithstanding in mercy presently to avert But this is not yet participated the Lord goeth by me and I see him not he passeth on also and I perceive him not his way is in the sea and his path in the great waters and his footsteps are not known These wheeles within the wheeles are not yet manifested the great thing upon my spirit is Lord why hast thou taken away thy faithfull and tallent-improving servant whilst nature was so strong and vigorous in her thus before her time Righteous art thou O LORD when I plead with thee yet let me talk with thee of thy judgments We cannot see thy works from the beginning to the end yet must we believe though clouds and darknesse are round about thee yet righteousnesse and judgement are the habitation of thy throne I know O Lord thy judgements are right and thou in faithfullnesse hast afflicted us Thy works are great sought out of all them that have pleasure therein thy secret is with them that fear thee thy way O GOD is in the Sanctuary and there are thy goings to be seen The good Lord sanctifie this great and sore affliction to us and hereby the more quicken us to the improvement of our time and talents to the utermost whilst it is day before our night come when we also shall cease to work So prayeth Sir Yours affectionatly to serve you in Christ NICOLAS THOROWGOOD Minister of the Gospel sometime at Hawkherst now at Monkton in the Isle of Thanet and County of Kent Mr. Elmstones Letter to Mr. Case Sir I Am perswaded that not onely we the friends and acquaintance of this lately deceas'd Gentlewoman Mrs. Scot the Paragon of Piety and Christian wisdome but even strangers that never before heard of her yea those of the generation to come will con you much thanks for that your labour you intend as by a Letter from Mr. Thorowgood I understand to hold up her remembrance among the living though she be dead that the glory of Gods grace which was in her eminently conspicuous may thereby be magnified and she set forth as a lively pattern of piety by Christian Gentlewomen to be imitated It will indeed conduce nothing to the advancement of her happy condition who without sence of what is here done below touching her to her full satisfaction enjoyeth the beatificall vision of her most dear Saviour Jesus Christ But it were pitty that such a mirrour of Gods grace in her and the splendor of it shining from her should lie in obscurity the knowledge whereof might cause many thanksgivings to God for her and happily kindle in some brest a kindly flame of a godly imitation of her wayes Touching the occasion of her conversion what it was I perceive that Mr. Thorowgood hath informed you which I think he could do better than my self as who living a good while in her family might hear her often relate it so that touching that I need to say nothing save only that so it was as he writeth occasioned by a fall from a horse and the putting of her leg out of joynt The danger whereof put her upon the reading of Books that concerned piety and Religion whereby it pleased the Lord to work in her some serious sence and care of Religion But she did no sooner begin to mind matters of Religion but that some two of that way of the rigid separation called Brownisme and disciples of John Turner the name of one of which was Scotchford both living in Cranebrook by the means of a Tenant unto Glassenbury living in the Gate-house took notice of it and together got accesse to her and began to instill into her some of their principles of the separation and it seems had much shaken her so that she began to be scrupulous of holding communion with our then Churches viz. England It fell out that while they were thus working at times upon her and she wavering that in that Festivall time of Christs Nativity which in such houses was kept with some solemnity of good cheer these Sectaries came to Glassenbury and after dinner had gotten an opportunity to conferre with Mrs. Scot then Mrs. Roberts somewhat privately in a Chamber where yet was present Mrs. Crisp her Aunt a godly Gentlewoman now also deceased and John Morgan a retainer to that family a very honest man now also dead The good Gentlewoman the rest were somewhat puzzeled with the somewhat knottydiscourses of these Sectaries Now it was so by Gods Providence that I was also at that time and had been there for some dayes invited by Sir Walter Roberts now deceased to and his Son young Mr. Roberts who for six years together at least had been my Scholar and boarded in my house Wereupon it came into that John Morgans mind to make a motion to Mrs. Roberts to send for me and that I should conferre with those Sectaries she did gladly entertain the motion and they how willingly I know not yeelded to it so I coming to them there we conferred together for some two houres it may be before them about points of Separation especially about receiving the Sacrament amongst such a confused multitude as then was the manner by the iniquity of the times whether it might lawfully be done or could be done with any comfort The issue of our conference was such by the Lords blessing that Mrs. Roberts was satisfied about such objections as they made had her scruples cleared listened no more to their suggestions and they being now out of hope of gaining her left her so that from thence she continued her attendance upon the publick Ministery and held in in the Communion of our Churches as true though then in many things somewhat corrupt and defective And this Sir is the story of that passage if you think meet to make use of it I should be willing that you would not mention me by name but only say that a Minister being at that time there by Providence was called in to conferre
I might give God the glory of his free grace and faithfullnesse and that my sinnes might be pardoned and mortified and that I may be sanctified and made holy by him redeemed from all iniquity and vain conversation and made a peculiar servant of his zealous of good works that I may honour him in bearing forth much fruit and be fully acted by his spirit and grace for the glory of his name in all things that Jesus Christ may see the travail of his soul in me as much as I am capable so long as I have a being that I may admire free grace God hath given me Jesus Christ by faith oftentimes in Sacraments Word and Prayer and Meditation by the conduit pipes of his Ordinances And I live by Jesus Christ because his Spirit liveth in me in some measure convincing guiding and councelling of me And my desire is to honour him as much as I am capable for ever in his life and strength and spirit Thus farre Mrs. Scot had proceeded in the said Book when the Lord took her from recollecting and improving his gracious experiences to her here to the immediate and perfect enjoyments of himself above Other Writings that Mrs. Scot hath left concerning Gods goodnesse to her ABout the middle of April 1645. there was the second rising in Kent and I was grievously perplexed thinking my husband jewels goods and all I had and my life should have then by the risers been taken from me and I was in exceeding fear and dishonoured God by over much weeping and sorrowing before others but that night I heard the Risers were suppressed then I had much joy and resolved through Gods strength that my heart should be weaned from the world which before I lookt for much help from but I found none I saw it was empty then resolved I also to leave resting upon it and to spend my life and strength and meanes of grace to the uttermost advantage of Gods glory and my souls eternall good and never to sin away any opportunity of doing good and service for his glory Thus did I see that this great straight and dark Providence of the Lord wrought abundantly for my good Two days after I did in private by my self keep a day of fast and had some grief for my own sin and others and had some comfort in Gods acceptance though I was much wanting in the performance of the same After my fast day there was a publick day of thanksgiving for that mercy of subduing the Risers my spirit was much sadded that my heart was no more in frame suitable to the said day that I did no more rejoyce in God in it Afterward I had sweet assurance of Gods eternall love and saw much vanity and emptinesse in all earthly things and desired to order my conversation aright Again I kept another private day of fast by my self and though much distempered yet had some hopes of acceptance I kept another day of private fast by my self to seek to God for more grace to honour him and that God would do also the same in my husband that he might honour God In August 1647. a little after my husband died my heart was exceedingly out of frame but a Sabbath day at night the Lord came sweetly to me in perswading me to trust in him from what he had done So I had sweet assurance of his Eternal love through Christ at prayer and the pardon of all my sinnes and gave my self to him to do with me what he would and so the temptation and those thoughts went away and I had sweet peace Afterward we kept a fast in the family to humble our selves for the breach in the death of my husband and then I had great desires to honour God in my place and gave up my self to God and had peace and afterward sweet assurance that I was his This Sacrament at Hawkherst I was not prepared as I ought to have been the day before I lost my frame of grace exceedingly by my unsensibleness of Irelands misery and being merry when I should have sorrowed and on the Lords day morning before I went to the Sacrament I had a grievous temptation as if I might live without ordinances and as if there were no necessity of them O this deaded my heart to the duty yet my faith fought with it and brought me to the Lords supper where I received Christ and gave my self to him and found sweet comfort and strength from Christ in his Ordinance and I do resolve in Christs strength to walk holily and closely with God all my dayes to his honour and to cleave close to Christ in all his Ordinances whilst I can enjoy them Being reproved by one my heart did greatly rise and I found I was not willing to submit to Gods will and wayes in all things but I had a great combate and was resolved to submit to God in all and saw more of my heart and the world then ever and I had sweet influence from God and shinings of his face in prayer The next Lords day after I had received the Sacrament I went to the Sacrament again my Lord having by a providence provided another feast for me knowing my necessities and I did sit under Christs shadow and did receive his body and bloud by faith Another Sacrament at evening I had very sweet fruits and effects of Christ in me Another Sacrament afterward I was much failing and wanting in doing my duty and acting my grace but God gave me Christ in free grace and I desire to live by faith upon him to him and his glory giving my self to the Lord to be his and not mine own and desire to live on Christ as my portion and strength In January 1650. Mrs. Scot began another of the sweet experiences writes she my God hath given me of his faithfull performances of his Word and Promise to me In January 1650. The Lord sweetly told me in the Ministery of his Word out of the fourth Chapter of the Ephesians the eighth Verse how Christ had led captivity captive in me and for me in some measure the same day an occasion there was that caused my corruptions much to arise but my God according to his Word did lead that captivity captive and at night God gave me sweet comings in of himself into my sould and sweet assurance and some experience of the true real work of Grace in me how God made the risings of sinne the ruine of sin in me by Christ The Lord gave me very sweet experience of his power in preserving me when two in my family had the small pox and three the measels according to his word in Psal 91.7 It shall not come nigh thee O never distrust thy God more After this God did shew me in some measure the cursed vileness of my nature and suffered that bitter root of blasphemy to rise up in my heart and God did this to punish me for my vain and sinfull thoughts
the Lord and humble my self for my failings and God did sweetly melt my heart and helped me to pray and made it a comfortable day and I desire to hope and wait for a gracious answer and God did answer me very graciously I kept another fast by my self to seek the Lord to mortifie my corruptions that I might not dishonour him but be acted by him and his grace to his glory and to order all for me aright according to his will the Lord sweetly assisted me and I desire to wait for an answer and blessed be his name he hath sweetly answered my prayer by many remarkable providences which I desire to improve to his glory God did visite me with a fever and had shaken his rod at me before but I took not warning as I should for God is so gracious that he delights not in afflicting the chilren of men if they return Gods chastizing me was very full of tender gentlenesse I felt little or no pain but kept my bed from munday till saturday and God chained up Satan that he did not at all tempt me but I lay with abundance of peace and assurance of Gods love and God made my bed for me and raised me up again in much faithfulnesse and shewed me why he had contended with me and I acknowledged Gods dealings exceeding just mercifull and faithfull The sinne that God did especially afflict me for at this time as he did convince me was my great sinning about the Ordinances God will be sanctified in them that draw nigh to him and I had been very formal in duties cold in them neglected to go to Ordinances did not prepare my self before I went as I should coming sometimes late distracted at holy duties and was unprofitable under them not so mourned when I heard Gods name blasphemed glad when Sabbaths were done and vain thoughts then also guilty of much Sabbath prophanation in coming to the Lords day with a cōmon worldly frame of heart and having such a cōmon worldly frame of heart on the said dayes Being too long in bed on the Lords dayes mornings and not doing duties as Sabbath dutys and not walking answerable to the Sabbath Ordinances I enjoyed So that it was high time for God to come now The experiences that I have got by this are that God is very patient and good and faithful he will not leave me unpunished altogether neither will he fail or forsake me in it therefore I resolve in his strength to love him fear him and his goodnesse serve him walk closely with him be zealous for him give up my self my all to be laid out for his glory and in his service and to sanctifie him in all my drawings near to him to serve him alone in his strength and the power and spirit of Christ enabling me for if he leave me to my self I shall sinne more then ever these are some of the fruits I desire should come forth from this rod. I kept a Fast by my self to humble my soul before God and renew my repentance and seek help and direction from him and my God made it a sweet day unto me I kept another fast by my self for the same mercies that I did the other before and the Lord did much assist and help me to mourn for sinne and to pray for Zions peace and of the land I kept another fast by my self to humble my soul for mine own sins and the sins of others and to seek for direction in the straight I was in and the Lord did help me and after much and long seeking to God the Lord did answer me The fourteenth of December 1655. God did vouchsafe unto me a very great deliverance wherein I saw abundance of his power wisdom and goodnesse in it to me which were wonderfully discovered in the way of it to the Glory of God and honour of the Gospel even to the acknowledging it elsewhere to be the very hand of God An answer of prayer I was fully freed and cleared I desire this great experience should be food for faith and that I called on God for it was the faithfulnesse of God in performing that promise that he would keep in his way and he kept me in my calling which was his way and so I had protection from him and he found out a way for me and I desire to improve my freedome for his glory and walk more spiritually and closely all my dayes with God then ever I have done The experiences I got by this were 1. That it is the duty and safety of a Christian to walk and keep in the way of God had I been out of Gods way I had been gone 2. That there is no difficulty too hard for God but his wisdom can find out a way and his power can bring it to passe and his faithfulnesse will do it 3. That it is the duty of Christians to wait Gods leisure and time which is the best and fittest time 4. It is their duty also never to trust to their own heart but in God and expect direction protection and guidance from him and I resolve in Gods strength alwaies to be and continue in his way and to believe no difficulty too hard for him but his wisdom can find out a way and when we cannot his power can bring it to passe and his faithfulnesse will do it and I will never trust mine own heart more but wait on God trust in him and expect all from him and hang upon him by faith and prayer I kept another fast by my self my God did help me in some measure I desire to lay all my sacrifices on Christ that precious altar that I may be accepted and answered I kept another fast by my self for one of my children God carried me through the duty with some sweet meltings and incomes I desire to wait on him for an answer and to live my prayers and still to trust in him and do duties in faith and obedience I kept another fast by my self about my children desiring to do all in Christs strength and to expect all upon his account and God did give me very precious answers I kept another fast by my self to be humbled for my own and others sins as my childrens my Fathers house and Sir Walters and the sins of the times and to seek blessings and sanctifications of Gods dispensations and directions from the Lord and desire to wait I kept another fast by my self for my children and other things God did humble me in some measure and assist me And God did wonderfully and speedily answer O blesse the God that heareth prayers and follow God for further mercie I kept another fast by self about one of my children and God gave me some sweet assistance in the duty and acceptance in Christ This Sacrament I received Christ and had sweet fruits from him This Sacrament God did help me to go against some difficulties and my special errand to Christ was to deliver me