their own shame or their Misses painted faces as many of our young Sparks nay others that are more than middle aged Sinners allow their Misses Coaches to themselves but with Coachmen in their own Livery for fear all might not know whose Misses they are and who keeps them to shew to the World that their vile impudence scorns all sober Mens censure as well as it defies the great Gods punishment This base species of mercenary Miss Love being grown as very common as themselves are who are as impudent in their Carriage as lewd in their Actions and really 't is now grown a disputable question which now abounds most in London Hackny Coaches or Hackny-Women Tradesmen or Trading-women Thus impudence is now become a kind of Staple Commodity in our Kingdom of Love it being now adays esteem'd a shameful meanness of Spirit in a young Gentleman to be out of countenance for keeping a Miss but grown no shame at all to keep one they being now looked upon but as marks of greatness and riches and signs of Youth health fashion and gaity but never in the least thought on to be the sad effects of sin shame folly and wickedness O strange change That sin should be thus supported by a customary impudence and vertue suppressed by a general Custom Thus the tolerated nay I might have said incouraging mode of acting this sin has taken away both the shame and conscience of committing it yet as very debauch'd as our Age is we ought not to cast our faults on it for there can be no time so bad as to render sins necessary for general Custom can never justifie particular faults since we might all live well if we did not spend our time ill for the will in her immediate operations neither depends nor moves by the temper of the body or the fashion of the times but by the motions of the mind in her own Resolutions In a word keeping of Misses is now grown so common not only among great Men but others of as bad Lives tho not of so great Estates that now as to the keeping of Misses there 's nothing in it so strange as that any should think it so THE NINTH DISCOURSE Of the vain folly of such Ladies who think to shew their Wit by Jeering and Censuring their Neighbours INdeed there would not need many Lines or Arguments on this Subject to disswade Ladies from Jeering at others Faults if they would but seriously reflect on their own for then certainly they would neither accuse others nor justifie themselves but avoid keeping Company with or at least practising of this base ill natur'd and uncharitable vice of Jeering and Censuring their Neighbours We read in the Gospel of S. John how the Scribes and Pharisees brought before our Saviour the Woman that was taken in the Act of Adultery to tempt him saying Moses in the Law commanded us that such should be stoned but what sayest thou and after often asking Jesus said unto them he that is without sin among you let him cast the first stone at her and they that heard it being convicted in their own Consciences went away one by one and all left her for as Solomon says who is so pure as to have no sin If all Censorious Ladies would but truly and heartily apply this saying to themselves and fancy our Saviour now saying unto them the Lady that is free from fault among you cast the first Jeer at your Neighbour I am confident the Ladies would be so Conscious of their own Guilt as they would presently all leave this filthy sin as the Scribes and Pharisees did the Adulterous Woman For there 's no Woman in this World of so holy and pure a mixture as to be free from any stain and fault for then she must be more than a Woman and therefore all Ladies ought to make it their business rather to mend their own faults than make it their pastime to Jeer at those of others which very likely they are guilty of themselves and to consider since all are infected none ought to censure any but every one to repent in particular for himself and to be sorry in general for all I have known some ordinary home-spun witty Women who have proclaim'd themselves very foolish in great Companies and have shew'd their want of wit in attempting to Jeer at others above their reach having only slight Ideas of which they pretended to have a perfect knowledge and so have exposed their faint glimmering wit and flashy talk of self conceitedness on a Candlestick to be judged and look'd into by every prying and abusive Critick which had been much better kept at home under a Bushel among their Friends and Neighbours many of these pretenders to Rallying wit fancying they have a perfect knowledge of things when they do not understand nor so much as know that they do not know it for there 's a knowledge of Ignorance as well as an Ignorance of knowledge and some sin by a presumption of knowledge as well as others do by an ignorant presumption and therefore such Women pretenders to wit may be assured that they have great reason to wish for a deliverance from their unknown ignorance as well as holy David teacheth all Men to beg pardon of God for their secret and unknown faults 'T is in ordering of wit as in managing of a voyce she that has an indifferent sweet low voyce and sings within its reach may do it agreeable enough but if she striving to sing better than she can over mounts and stretches her voyce by so overstraining it she raises her weak voyce to meer squeaking and so renders it more discord than good vocal Musick So truly an indifferent Wit that moves in the Sphere of her own ability may pass for good witty pleasant Company but if she pretends to talk of what she does not understand and by endeavouring to make witty scoffs on others to cast only some gross foul slanders on them such a one drowns her small Spring of wit in the Ocean of her folly and receives but contempt instead of praise For my part I have a more nice opinion of that they generally call ignorance than usually most have for many esteem ignorance to consist only in the want of School learning others in that of History Philosophy Mathematicks Politicks or the not well understanding the Affairs of the World and the Intrigues of Courts and the Men and factions in it when in real truth one may be a perfect Master of Art in all these and yet be an ignorant Fresh-man in the very dawning and beginning of true Wisdom the fear of God which truth is confirmed by a wiser Solomon than any that dares contradict it 't is only that wisdom that leadeth to salvation Therefore I am of opinion that a Learned Man that knoweth much and lives ill and is uncharitable is much more ignorant than that Lady who knows little and prays much and gives Alms plentifully and this
the best Arguments to bring up the Rear of the Discourse to leave the strongest Impression at the last so God is pleased to reserve for the last the greatest punishment of all which he here threatens by the Prophet when he tells men verse 12. And Women shall rule over them Really 't is a sign the Peoples stay and strength are gone and their prudence out of Power when Women are placed to Rule over them from whence without the help of Philosophy I can easily extract this Observation That the Almighty who sure best knows the abilities of his own Creatures places Women in the same Rank with Children thereby plainly denoting That a Nursery kind of Government suits best with Womens Power and this kind of doctrin is in some manner confirmed by S. Paul though in a larger Character for he ascribes to Women as their fit sphere and proper imployment the guiding of the house that is the Women in it There is an Author who in his discourse of Women very well observes that they have but three States of Life Virginity Marriage and Widdowhood for the first two they are or ought to be states of subjection to Parents and Husbands and for that of Widdowhood God himself counts that state of life to be desolate and sad the Almighty having design'd them for subjection and therefore accounts Women most miserable when most at liberty from Mans Power And now surely out of these reasons and considerations of his I may here safely because truly draw this undeniable Argument and conclusion That it cannot but be very bad for Men to be under Womens Government when God says 't is very sad for Women to be under their own And so I have done with the time when 't was appointed for Women to govern over Men next of course follows the manner how they Ruled and that we have an account of in few words in the 12 verse of that Chapter aforementioned by the Prophet O my people says the Lord Those that is the Women that lead ye cause you to err and destroy the ways of thy Paths Thus we find that error and destruction are the effects of Womens ruling power it being contrary to the ways of Truth for it causeth Error and the Laws of Nature of Reason I cannot say of common Practice and it was here appointed to Women not as a favour but for a punishment as an effect of Gods wrath against his People it being a Reverse of the Fundamental Law which was made by God almost as soon as the World I am sure as early as the first Man in it for Sacred writ tells that 't was laid as a load on the first Woman for her disobedience to her Maker that she should be subject to her Husband and though to be so now is but the practice of very few Wives of our Age yet that do's not hinder it from being the duty of all from the beginning of the World. Therefore let all our high spirited governing Women who make their silly Husbands and foolish Gallants such slaves to their Power because admirers of their beauty remember what one very well observ'd That the day of the date of Womens Power over Man was the day of the date of her sin against God It being most clear and plain that from Adams time the Woman ought to be in subjection to the Man and therefore S. Paul said I will not have the Woman usurp an authority over the Man and seems to give the Reason for first Adam was made then Eve. Seneca well observes in saying There is something of meanness in the most seeming gallant and inviting sin I am sure there is a great meaness of Spirit in Mens so subjecting themselves to Womens power since such must in effect declare that they have lost not only the Courage of Men but the very Nature of Gentlemen what did I say they have lost the Nature of Gentlemen nay I might have added the very natural right and reason of humanity and deserve to loose the great honour of being English Men for such Petty-Coat Men ought to be Transplanted into the Suburbs of England Wales where the Language of that Country fits exactly their effeminate humor who by a kind of Welch Paradox call the Man hur not he and indeed hur suits betten than he with such a sort of female Gentry who are composed of such unmasculine Spirits Really when I reflect on what Crowds there are of this pitiful rank of Men who take so great pride and delight in being constant adorers and humble servants to their Mistrisses beauty not in railery but in reality who are as very happy in their own conceit if their Mistrisses do oblige them with a kind word or favourable look as if the Day Star from above had come to visit them and to lead them into eternal light and that all the Aspects of the Stars had combin'd together to be propitious to them Yet after all 't is a very great pity that these sort of Mistrisses do not bestow on these kind of servants Lace to their Coats for sure they are fools enough to deserve it and I see no reason why such who are so ambitious of their service should refuse to wear their Liveries and be out of Countenance to be known Fools by their Coats when they are not asham'd to deserve that name by their actions Solomon says a slothful Man shall be covered with rags and so indeed ought such Men who are dull and drowsie in the exercise of their own power and over-active in their obedience to Womens for which they well deserve to wear the Colours of their Mistrisses Soveraignity and their slavery on the ragg'd Fools Coat of their own simplicity Sure all such Men as will debase themselves into such an effeminate servitude as to render it both easie and habitual to them cannot pretend in the least to possess a noble or generous spirit for that must be averse to it since it makes a Man not ony unfit to serve his King and Country the duty of every good Subject but even to be useful to himself and family Whereas if young Men studied noble Sciences instead of courting handsom Women who can only divert their Time probably corrupt their Lives whereas the practice of vertue and the study of Men and business with other useful Sciences will refine and strengthen their knowledge fortifie prudence in their actions kindle Magnanimity in their hearts raise glorious desires in their minds and so polish and regulate all the weighty actions of their lives so as to render them fit to serve their Country both in War and Peace and themselves and families to boot which advantage can never redound on either by courting and serving beauty never so long for meer beauty sake And I wonder your beauty Courtiers do not observe that great beauties seldom esteem the long attendance or great services of their Adorers as they ought because they value more their own
weakness in it and then to be sure to attack those weaker parts with his sharp abuses for if a Man has never so many vertues and has but one vice he will be sure to skip them all to fall foul on that one as flies leave the whole body to fasten on the least gawl'd patch for such abusive Wits are like Surgeons who live by others hurts and have nothing to do with those parts that are sound A censorious scoffing Wit is ordinarily composed and made up of such a kind of Stuff as Fire-ships are which serve for no other use and are built and kept for no other purpose than to do mischief the only good in them consists in doing harm so the spirit and quintessence of these Mens ill temper'd venom lies chiefly in abusiveness turning all their Notes to the same Tune that the Philistins did Samsons words only to raise and spend their mirth on though to the prejudice of their dearest Friends and nearest Relations which they had rather lose than their Jest A common Talkative raillier ought by his Trade to be so couragiously stout or rather fool-hardy as not to fear jeering every one and yet indeed the Generality of them are so tame and Cowardly for a generous mind scorns such a base and mean imployment as to endure as he well deserves the slights and contempts of all he plays upon for tho he makes War against the whole Kingdom with his Tongue yet he dares not fight with one Man in it with his Sword and indeed for this he may well pretend some reason which I am sure he cannot for Jeering all Men first because a Sword is much sharper and can wound far deeper than his Tongue and next if he should fight with every Man he raillies and takes the liberty to abuse he must fight more Duels in the Field than ever Captain Bessus received Challenges in the Play but my Gentleman is too wise in his Mirth to expose his body to such a sharp Encounter In a word if you desire to see this fierce Satyrist drawn to the life you need but look on S. George's picture drawn a horseback where he is still holding up his hand but never strikes for he fears danger like a poor-spirited Mortal though he lives as if he thought he should never die This sort of Men that make it their business with their pretending Wit to abuse all Persons all the ill I need say of them for they say enough of themselves is that they take upon them an employment which they must have a great share of Wit to perform well and must much want discretion to undertake at all for at best if they are Masters of any Wit they employ it ill since they do not live so much by their own wit as by others folly I hope now the vain Ladies that are given to Jeering will please to take notice that I have on this Subject used them with the same respect that Tutors do young Princes who when they have committed any great fault instead of whipping them whip their favourite play-fellow for their Fault that the Prince seeing the severe punishment used on their favorite boy may by his Chastisement avoid acting himself the like fault for the future So tho I do not here name the Ladies that are given to this filthy ill-natured vice yet I assure them this Discourse was writ meerly for them and aims only at them as knowing it a Crime that most of them through vanity do affect and truly this base fault of Censuring must needs appear worse in a young Lady than in any other for as a black spot shews the clearer the whiter the skin is that 't is placed upon so sharp raillery and abusive wit appear the more black and foul coming out of the mouth of a beautiful Lady whose words ought to be full of sweetness suitable to her looks And let me tell you this great Truth that our pert Censorious Ladies might in a far shorter time and with much less pains and abundant more content to themselves gain the blessed Title of good Christians than the bad Character of being witty and profane Jesters which can only for a little time give them the applause of some irreligious and ill disposed persons whose praises are really but discommendations Whereas a truly pious and vertuous Lady will still justly deserve and ever constantly receive the true esteem and commendation of godly sober Men in this World besides securing to herself Eternal happiness in the next Therefore if any of our vain Ladies desire to attain this happy state of bliss let me here assure them that their right way to it is wisely and charitably to Judge themselves and not others and instead of Jeering at others defects to mend their own by first repenting of their own immoralities and then being sorry for those that do not the like for theirs for as wise Seneca says He that does good to another does good to himself not only in the Consequence but in the very present act of doing it for the Conscience of well doing is a very pleasant ample reward in it self and therefore I am sure tho it be a very unmodish advice yet 't is a very good Christian doctrin not to undo a Ladies reputation to please your own boundless and extravagant fancy in being admired and thought witty in doing mischief and therefore 't is rather a Christian duty if you see your Neighbour lie under any affliction or live under any imputation of scandal that you are free from to correct your proud and high minded thoughts in fancying that by this you merit so much better than she but rather thank God that he is more merciful to you than her and be still reforming other Womens faults by your own good example rather than continue to inflame them by your sharp invectives and malicious Censures which often create bitter Enemies but seldom make good Friends or better Christians Solomon says Prov. 20.3 It is an honour to avoid strife but every fool will be medling all Ladies ought so to govern their Discourses as to make them civil and obliging not indiscreet and Censorious but to be suited to the time place and company you are in for airy talk and rallying mirth would not agree but look ill at a sad and grave Funeral assembly and so on the other hand an abundance of gravity and reservedness must be very unbecoming as being very unsuitable to a Jovial Wedding-Company met only to feast dance and be merry for then gravity would pass for a kind of dislike as if you censured others jollity We read in Scripture of Tongue Murderers who tho they are bloudless yet are not guiltless and Solomon says That a whisperer separates chief Friends and yet how common is it among our vain young witty Ladies to make defamation their chief talk and whispering of lies against their Neighbours the main Topicks of their Discourse if not the constant entertainment