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A08011 Strange newes, of the intercepting certaine letters, and a conuoy of verses, as they were going priuilie to victuall the Low Countries. By Tho. Nashe Gentleman Nash, Thomas, 1567-1601. 1592 (1592) STC 18377A; ESTC S110072 50,549 94

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brothers reputation I had neuer medled with thee if thou hadst not leand too much to an olde wall when thou pluckst Tullie out of a wall the damnation of this Iest had bin yet vnbegotten He that hath born saile in two tempests of shame makes a sport of shippe-wracke of good name euer after The wall of the welfare of Fraunce that is started from her King her true foundation thy writinges more wretched than France would faine cleaue vnto if they could tell how and count it a felicity to haue the oportunitie of so heroicall an argument God helpe Alexander if hee haue no other Poet to emblazon his atchieuements but Cherillus High resolued Earle of Essex and vertuous Sir Iohn Norris Englands champions enuied tranquilities confidence vnworthy are your aduentures Iliades to bee reported by such a ragged reede as the iarring Pipe of this Batillus The Portugals Frenchmens feare will lend your Honors richer ornaments than his low-flighted affection fortunes summer folower can frame them The seale that I set to your vertues be silence the argument of prayse is vnauthorized in any mans mouth but olde age VVhen the better parte of youthes feruence is boyld away and that the showres of many sorrowes haue seasond our greene heads with experience with the wither-fac'd weather-beaten Mariner that talks quaking and shudderingly of a storme that hee hath newly toyld through our wordes will bee written in our visage Euen as the sunne so no science shines in his compleate glory till it be ready to decline These be the conclusions that gray hairs prune cut downe the prosperitie of yong yeares with as fast as it aspires but let the seare Oake looke himselfe in the glasse of truth and he shal find that Methusalems blessing is imbecillitie bestowed on any creature but the Foxe who neuer is a right Foxe till he be ripe for the dunghill If my stile holde on this sober Mules pace but a sheete or two further I shall haue a long beard lyke an Irish mantle droppe out of my mouth before I be aware Marry God ●orfend for at no hand can I endure to haue my cheeks muffled vp in furre like a Muscouian or weare any of this VVelch freeze on my face O it is a miserable thing to dresse haire like towe twixt a mans teeth when one cannot drinke but hee must thrust a great spunge into the cup so cleanse his coole porridge as it were through a strayner ere it comes to his lippes This second Epistle I haue said prettily well too I thinke we were best begin THIRDLY VVHEREAS for feare a volume steale vpon vs vnlookt for The Arrainment and Execution of the third Letter To euerie Reader fauourably or indifferently affected TEXT stand to the Barre Peace there belowe Albeit for these twelue or thirteene yeares no man hath beene more loath or more scrupulous than my selfe c. The body of mee hee begins like a proclamation sufficeth it wee knowe you your minde though you say no more Is not this your drift you would haue the worlde suppose you were vrgde to that which proceeded of your owne good nature like some that will seeme to bee intreated to take a high place of preferment vppon them which priuilie before they haue prayde and payde for and put all their strength to clymbe vp to You would foist in non causam pro causa haue it thought your flight from your olde companions obscuritie and silence was onely with Aeneas to carry your Father on your backe through the fire of slaunder and by that shift with a false plea of patience vniustly driuen from his kingdome filch away the harts of the Queenes liege people The backe of those creple excuses I haue broke in the beginning o● my booke if you haue anie new inf●ingement to destitute the inditement of forgerie that I bring against you so it is Heere enters Argumentum a testimonio humano like Tamberlaine drawne in a Cha●iot by foure Kings I THAT IN MY YOVTH FLATTERD NOT MY SELFE VVITH THE EXCEEDING COMMENDATION OF THE GREATEST SCHOLLER IN THE VVORLD c. Ille ego qui quondam gracili modulatus auena Ah neighbourhood neighbourhood dead and buried a●t thou with Robinhood a poore creature here is faine to commend himselfe for want of friendes to speake for him Not the least but the greatest Schollers in the VVORLD haue not only but exceedingly fedde him fat in his humor of Braggadochio Glorioso Yea Spencer him hath often Homer tearmd And Mounsier Bodkin vowd as much as he Yet cares not Nashe for him a halfe peny Lamentable lamentable that an indifferent vntoward ciuill Lawyer who hath read Plutarch Devtilitate capienda ab inimicis can talke of Titius and Semprouius shou'd be no more set by but SET BY thrust aside while his betters carry the bredth of the street before them Misery will humble the haughtiest heart in the world Habemus reum confuentē he confesseth himself a sinner in vnsufficiency yet for all that the adue●si●ie of vniuersall obloquy hath laide a heauie hande on him still he retaineth like conceald land some part of his proud mind in a beggers purse scorneth to say Fortune my foe or aske a good word for Gods sake of anie man In the plainnesse of his puft vp nature he will defie anie man that dare accuse him of that he is VVhy why infractissime PISTLEPRAGMOS though you were yong in yeares fresh in courage greene in experience and ouer-weaning in conceipt we will refuse nothing that you giue vs when you priuately wrote the letters that afterward by no other but your selfe were publiquely diuulged yet when the bladder is burst that held you vp swimming in selfe loue you must not be discontented though you sink I haue toucht the vlcer of your Oratourship in requiting the nick-name of The Deuils Oratour An Vlcer you may well christen it as an vlcer is a swelling for it was a swelling of ambition no modest petition of anie merit of yours that did craue it The olde Foxe Doctour Perne throughly discouered you for a yoong Foppe or else halfe a word of our high Chauncelors commendation had stood with him inuiolable as an Act of Parlament Great men in writing to those they are acquainted with haue priuie watch-words of denyal euen in the highest degree of praising they haue many followers whose dutifull seruice must not bee disgrac'd with a bitter repulse in anie suite though vnlawfull It may bee some of these long deseruers of his followers labourd him for thee hee like Argus hauing eyes that pierce into all estates saw thee when thou wert vnseene of thy selfe and knowing thee to bee vnworthy of any place of worth would not discountenance his men in so smal a matter but writ for thee very vehemently outwardly when the soule of his letter into which thy shallowe braine could not descend included thy vtter mislike Yong bloud is hot youth hastie ingenuitie open abuse impatient choller
stomachous temptations busie In a word the Gentleman was vext and cutte his bridle for verie anger The tickling and stirring inuectiue vaine the puffing and swelling Satiricall spirit came vpon him as it came on Coppinger and Arthington when they mounted into the pease-cart in Cheape-side and preacht needes hee must cast vp certayne crude humours of English Hexameter Verses that lay vppon his stomacke a Noble-man stoode in his way as he was vomiting and from top to toe he all to berayd him with Tuscanisme The Mappe of Cambridge lay not farre off when he was in the depth of his drudgery some part of the excrements of his angerfell vpon it poore Doctour Pernes picture stoode in a corner of that Mappe and by the misdemeanour of his mouth it was cleane defac'd Signior Immeritò so called because he was and is his friend vndeseruedly was counterfeitly brought in to play a part in that his Enterlude of Epistles that was hist at thinking his very name as the name of Ned Allen on the common stage was able to make an ill matter good I durst on my credit vndertake Spencer was no way priuie to the committing of them to the print Committing I may well call it for in my opinion G. H. should not haue reapt so much discredite by beeing committed to New gate as by committing that misbeleeuing prose to the Presse I haue vsually seene vncircumcised doltage haue the porch of his Pa●im pilfries very hugely pestred with praises Hay gee Gentlemen comes in with his Plowmans whistle in prayse of Peter Scurfe the penne-man and Turlery ginkes in a light foote Iigge libels in commendation of little witte verie loftily but for an Author to renounce his Christendome to write in his owne commendation to refuse the name which his Godfathers and Godmothers gaue him in his baptisme and call himselfe a welwiller to both the writers when hee is the onely writer himselfe with what face doe you thinke hee can aunswere it at the day of iudgement Est in te facies sunt apti lusibus anni Gabriell thou canst play at fast and loose as well as anie man in England I will not lye or backbite thee as thou hast done mee but are not these thy wordes to the curteous Buyer Shew mee or Immerito two English letters in print in all pointes equall to these both for the matter it selfe and also for the manner of handling and say wee neuer saw good English in our liues Againe I esteeme them for two of the rarest and finest treaties as well for ingenuous deuising as significant vttering cleanly conueying of his matter that euer I read in this tongue I bartily thank God for bestowing vpon vs such proper and able men with their penne You must conceit hee was in his chamber-fellowe welwillers cloke when he spake this the white-liuerd slaue was modest and had not the hart to say so much in his owne person but he must put on the vizard of an vndiscreete friend It is not worth the rehearsal he scribled it in ieast for exercise of his speech and stile c. and it was the sinister hap of those vnfortunate letters to be derided scoft at throughout the whole realme The sharpest part of them were read ouer at Counsell Table and he referd ouer to the Fleet to beare his old verse-fellow noble M. Valanger company There was no remedie for it but melancholy patience A recantation he was glad to make by way of articles or positions which hee moderates with a milder name of an apologie that recantation purchast his libertie VVherefore in gratefull lieu of the benefit he receiu'd by it although he hath hitherto vnworthily supprest it yet he means to take occasion by this extraordinary prouocation to publish it with not so few as fortie such Academicall exercises and sundrie other politike discourses And I deeme he will be as good as his word for euer yet it hath beene his wont if he writ but a letter to any friend of his in the way of thanks for the potte of butter gāmon of bacon or cheese that he sent him straight to giue coppies of it abroad in the world and propound it to yong gentlemen he came in company with as a more necessary refined methode of familiar Epistles than the English tongue hath hitherto been priuy to Lord that men shoulde bee so malitiously bent to frame a matter of some thing he takes a pleasurable delight to behaue himself so that he may be laught at how would you prate and insult if you knewe as much by him as he knows by himselfe Nashe do thy worst the three brothers bid a Fico for thee discommend thou them neuer so much they will palpably praise and so consequently dispraise themselues more in one booke they set foorth than thou canst disparage them in tenne yea rather than faile Maister Bird shall leaue coppying out letters of newes and meeter it mischieuously in maintenance of their scurri●itiship and ruditie Three to one par ma foy is oddes not one of them writes an Almanacke but hee reckons vp all his brothers Bee it spoken heere in priuate Musa Richardetti fatrizat sat bene pretty The Muse of dappert Dickie doth sing as sweet as a cricket Nostimanum stilum Gabriel it is thine own verse in Aedes Valdinenses all saue the inserting of pretty in stead of certè for rimes sake Had Phisition Iohn liu'd or not dyde a little afore Dog-dayes a sinode of Pispots would haue concluded that Pierce Pennilesse should be confoūded without repriue The Spanyards cald their inuasiue fleete agaynst England the Nauie inuincible yet it was ouercome Lowe shrubbes haue outliu'd high Cedars one true man is stronger than two theeues Gabriell Richard I proclaime open warres with you March on Iocus Ludus Lepos my valiaunt men at armes and forrage the frontiers of his Fantasticallitie as you haue begun Tubalcan aliâs Tuball first founder of Farriers Hall heere is a great complaint made that vtriúsque Academiae Robertus Greene hath mockt thee because hee saide that as thou wert the first inuenter of Musicke so Gabriell Howliglasse was the first inuenter of English Hexameter verses Quid respondes canst thou brooke it yea or no Is it any treason to thy well tuned hammers to say they begat so renowmed a childe as Musicke Neither thy hammers nor thou I know if they were put to their booke oaths will euer say it The Hexamiter verse I graunt to be a Gentleman of an auncient house so is many an english begger yet this Clyme of ours hee cannot thriue in our speech is too craggy for him to set his plough in hee goes twitching and hopping in our language like a man running vpon quagmiers vp the hill in one Syllable and down the dale in another retaining no part of that stately smooth gate which he vaunts himselfe with amongst the Greeks and Latins Homer and Virgil two valorous Authors yet were they