innermost_a part_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o *_o to_n i_o know_v not_o what_o sweetness_n which_o be_v it_o once_o perfect_v in_o i_o i_o know_v not_o what_o bliss_n that_o be_v which_o such_o a_o life_n will_v not_o enjoy_v but_o then_o with_o certain_a cumbersome_a weight_n hang_v upon_o i_o i_o present_o be_o press_v down_o again_o to_o these_o thing_n below_o and_o be_o re-ingulfed_n and_o detain_v by_o former_a custom_n and_o much_o i_o bewail_v myself_o and_o yet_o much_o still_o i_o be_o detain_v so_o great_o have_v the_o burden_n of_o a_o bad_a custom_n overload_v i_o and_o in_o this_o estate_n i_o can_v abide_v still_o but_o will_v not_o and_o in_o the_o other_o i_o will_v willing_o abide_v but_o can_v both_o way_n very_o miserable_a chap._n xli_o and_o in_o this_o condition_n i_o proceed_v to_o consider_v the_o remain_a languor_n of_o my_o sin_n in_o a_o threefold_a concupiscence_n and_o have_v invoke_v the_o help_n of_o thy_o right_a hand_n to_o deliver_v i_o for_o i_o behold_v thy_o brightness_n with_o a_o sick_a and_o wound_a spirit_n and_o beat_v back_o and_o dazzle_v by_o it_o i_o say_v who_o can_v ever_o attain_v thither_o i_o be_o utter_o cast_v away_o from_o the_o sight_n of_o thy_o eye_n thou_o be_v the_o truth_n who_o preside_v above_o all_o thing_n and_o i_o out_o of_o my_o covetousness_n be_v not_o willing_a to_o loose_v thou_o but_o yet_o greedy_o desire_v also_o to_o possess_v what_o be_v a_o lie_n together_o with_o thou_o as_o no_o man_n desire_v so_o to_o speak_v lie_n as_o to_o be_v ignorant_a what_o be_v truth_n and_o therefore_o i_o lose_v thou_o because_o thou_o vouchsafe_v not_o to_o be_v enjoy_v together_o with_o a_o lie_n chap._n xlii_o his_o recourse_n for_o a_o remedy_n to_o all_o these_o his_o malady_n not_o *_o to_o evil_a angel_n or_o demon_n with_o the_o platonist_n or_o other_o practise_v evil_a art_n as_o mediator_n between_o god_n and_o man_n because_o sinner_n like_o man_n spirit_n like_o god_n and_o now_o who_o can_v i_o find_v who_o may_v reconcile_v and_o reduce_v i_o unto_o thou_o be_v that_o office_n to_o be_v undertake_v by_o some_o angel_n for_o i_o upon_o what_o devotion_n upon_o what_o sacrament_n perform_v unto_o he_o many_o endeavour_v to_o return_v unto_o thou_o and_o of_o themselves_o unable_a as_o i_o hear_v have_v attempt_v such_o way_n and_o fall_v into_o the_o desire_n of_o curious_a vision_n and_o so_o deserve_v to_o be_v expose_v to_o many_o delusion_n for_o be_v high-minded_a they_o seek_v thou_o with_o the_o pride_n of_o learning_n exalt_v rather_o than_o beat_v their_o swell_a breast_n and_o so_o have_v allure_v unto_o rhem_n from_o the_o likeness_n of_o their_o affection_n spirit_n associate_v with_o they_o in_o pride_n 2._o eph._n 2_o 2._o the_o power_n of_o this_o air_n by_o who_o through_o magical_a operation_n they_o may_v be_v deceive_v whilst_o they_o be_v seek_v a_o mediator_n by_o who_o they_o may_v be_v purge_v but_o it_o be_v none_o such_o they_o light_v on_o 14_o 2_o cor._n 11_o 14_o but_o the_o devil_n it_o be_v transform_v himself_o as_o a_o angel_n of_o light_n and_o this_o much_o allure_v proud_a flesh_n to_o repair_v unto_o he_o because_o he_o have_v no_o body_n of_o flesh_n for_o they_o be_v mortal_n and_o sinner_n and_o thou_o o_o lord_n with_o who_o they_o seek_v reconciliation_n be_v sinless_a and_o immmortal_a now_o the_o mediate_a person_n between_o god_n and_o man_n it_o be_v meet_v he_o shall_v have_v something_o like_a to_o god_n something_o like_o to_o man_n lest_z in_o both_o like_a to_o man_n he_o shall_v be_v at_o too_o great_a a_o distance_n from_o god_n or_o in_o both_o like_a to_o god_n he_o shall_v stand_v too_o remote_a from_o man_n therefore_o also_o this_o counterfeit_a mediator_n by_o who_o according_a to_o thy_o secret_a judgement_n our_o pride_n deserve_v to_o be_v delude_v have_v one_o thing_n common_a with_o man_n that_o be_v sin_n and_o will_v seem_v to_o have_v the_o other_o thing_n common_a with_o god_n whilst_o not_o clothe_v with_o the_o mortality_n of_o flesh_n he_o vaunt_v himself_o as_o immortal_a 6.23_o rom._n 6.23_o but_o since_o the_o certain_a wage_n of_o sin_n be_v death_n and_o this_o sin_n he_o have_v common_a with_o man_n he_o have_v also_o that_o common_a with_o man_n to_o be_v sentence_v unto_o death_n chap._n xliii_o but_o *_o to_o christ_n who_o be_v the_o only_a true_a mediator_n mortal_a like_o man_n righteous_a like_o god_n through_o who_o else_o desperate_a he_o confident_o hope_v a_o perfect_a cure_n of_o all_o his_o disease_n but_o the_o true_a mediator_n who_o in_o thy_o secret_a mercy_n thou_o have_v manifest_v to_o the_o humble_a and_o haste_v also_o send_v he_o among_o they_o 2.5_o 1._o tim._n 2.5_o that_o they_o may_v by_o his_o example_n learn_v humility_n that_o mediator_n of_o god_n and_o man_n the_o man_n christ_n jesus_n between_o these_o mortal_a sinner_n and_o the_o immortal_a righteous_a one_o have_v appear_v mortal_a together_o with_o man_n righteous_a together_o with_o god_n that_o because_o the_o wage_n of_o righteousness_n be_v life_n and_o peace_n he_o by_o his_o righteousness_n which_o be_v ally_v to_o god_n may_v evacuate_v death_n to_o justify_v sinner_n which_o death_n he_o be_v please_v to_o have_v common_a with_o man_n and_o this_o true_a mediator_n be_v also_o make_v know_v to_o the_o saint_n of_o old_a that_o they_o by_o the_o faith_n of_o his_o passion_n to_o come_v as_o we_o by_o the_o faith_n of_o it_o past_a may_v attain_v salvation_n and_o it_o be_v as_o he_o be_v man_n that_o he_o be_v mediator_n but_o as_o he_o be_v the_o word_n so_o he_o be_v no_o middling_a person_n because_o equal_a to_o god_n and_o god_n with_o god_n and_o 1.1_o phil._n 2.6_o joh._n 1.1_o together_o with_o the_o holy_a spirit_n one_o god_n how_o far_o have_v thou_o love_v we_o o_o thou_o good_a father_n who_o sparedst_v not_o thy_o only_a son_n but_o deliver_v he_o up_o for_o we_o ungodly_a how_o far_o have_v thou_o love_v we_o for_o who_o he_o 8._o rom._n 8.52_o phil._n 2.6_o 8._o who_o think_v it_o no_o robbery_n to_o be_v equal_a to_o thou_o be_v make_v subject_a even_o to_o death_n even_o to_o the_o death_n of_o the_o cross_n only_o he_o free_a among_o the_o dead_a have_v power_n to_o lay_v down_o his_o life_n 10.18_o john_n 10.18_o and_o power_n likewise_o to_o take_v it_o up_o again_o become_v unto_o thou_o for_o we_o both_o a_o victor_n and_o a_o victim_n and_o therefore_o a_o victor_n because_o he_o have_v be_v a_o victim_n become_v unto_o thou_o for_o we_o both_o the_o priest_n and_o the_o sacrifice_n and_o therefore_o the_o priest_n because_o a_o sacrifice_n make_v we_o unto_o thou_o of_o servant_n son_n by_o be_v bear_v thy_o son_n and_o become_v our_o servant_n and_o therefore_o do_v i_o just_o repose_v strong_a hope_n in_o he_o that_o thou_o will_v heal_v all_o my_o disease_n by_o he_o who_o sit_v at_o thy_o right_a hand_n and_o intercede_v unto_o thou_o for_o we_o else_o shall_v i_o despair_v for_o many_o and_o great_a be_v these_o my_o disease_n many_o and_o great_a they_o be_v but_o great_a be_v the_o cure_n which_o thou_o have_v provide_v and_o well_o may_v we_o have_v imagine_v thy_o word_n to_o have_v be_v too_o remote_a from_o have_v any_o alliance_n with_o we_o and_o so_o have_v despair_v of_o ourselves_o have_v it_o not_o thus_o be_v make_v flesh_n and_o dwell_v among_o we_o affright_v with_o these_o my_o sin_n and_o with_o the_o load_n of_o my_o misery_n i_o have_v once_o a_o thought_n and_o a_o design_n of_o retire_v myself_o into_o some_o desert_n solitude_n but_o thou_o do_v prohibit_v it_o unto_o i_o and_o confirm_v i_o say_v that_o therefore_o christ_n die_v for_o all_o 5.15_o 2_o cor._n 5.15_o that_o they_o who_o live_v shall_v not_o henceforth_o live_v unto_o themselves_o but_o unto_o he_o who_o die_v for_o they_o behold_v o_o lord_n i_o cast_v all_o my_o care_n upon_o thou_o let_v i_o live_v and_o i_o will_v consider_v the_o wonderful_a thing_n of_o thy_o law_n 119.18_o psal_n 119.18_o thou_o know_v my_o ignorance_n my_o infirmity_n teach_v i_o heal_n i_o he_o thy_o only_a one_o in_o who_o be_v hide_v all_o the_o treasure_n of_o wisdom_n and_o knowledge_n redeem_v i_o with_o his_o own_o blood_n let_v not_o the_o proud_a my_o spiritual_a enemy_n false_o accuse_v i_o for_o i_o meditate_v on_o this_o my_o ransom_n 2.3_o col._n 2.3_o and_o i_o eat_v it_o and_o drink_v it_o and_o communicate_v it_o to_o other_o and_o be_v poor_a i_o desire_v to_o be_v satisfy_v therewith_o among_o those_o who_o eat_v and_o be_v satisfy_v and_o they_o shall_v praise_v the_o lord_n that_o seek_v he_o chap._n xliv_o the_o end_n and_o purpose_n of_o these_o his_o confession_n o_o lord_n since_o thou_o be_v eternal_o be_v thou_o ignorant_a o_o these_o thing_n i_o now_o say_v unto_o thou_o or_o see_v thou_o no_o till_o a_o certain_a time_n what_o be_v do_v in_o time_n why_o then_o have_v i_o order_v a_o narration_n of_o so_o many_o several_a matter_n unto_o thou_o sure_o not_o that_o thou_o shall_v learn_v such_o thing_n from_o i_o but_o only_o that_o i_o may_v the_o more_o excite_v my_o affection_n and_o love_n towards_o thou_o and_o they_o also_o who_o reaâ—_n these_o thing_n that_o we_o may_v all_o say_v together_o magnus_fw-la dominus_fw-la &_o lauâ—abilis_fw-la valde_fw-la great_a be_v the_o lord_n and_o great_o to_o be_v praise_v i_o have_v already_o say_v it_o and_o let_v i_o say_v it_o again_o out_o of_o my_o love_n of_o thy_o love_n to_o i_o it_o be_v that_o i_o do_v this_o as_o also_o we_o continue_v to_o pray_v nevertheless_o that_o the_o truth_n have_v say_v your_o heavenly_a father_n know_v what_o thing_n that_o have_v need_n of_o before_o you_o ask_v he_o 6.8_o mat._n 6.8_o we_o only_o publish_v the_o affection_n we_o have_v towards_o thou_o while_o we_o confess_v to_o theâ—_n our_o misery_n and_o thy_o mercy_n that_o thou_o may_v complete_v our_o freedom_n as_o thou_o have_v already_o begin_v it_o and_o that_o a_o length_n we_o may_v perfect_o cease_v to_o be_v miserable_a in_o ourselves_o and_o may_v arrive_v to_o beatitude_n in_o thou_o because_o thoâ—_n have_v gracious_o call_v we_o that_o we_o shall_v be_v poor_a in_o spirit_n and_o meek_a and_o mournful_a and_o hungry_a and_o thirsty_a after_o righteousness_n and_o merciful_a and_o pure_a in_o heart_n and_o peace_n maker_n see_v i_o have_v rehearse_v before_o thou_o a_o many_o thing_n such_o as_o i_o have_v ability_n and_o such_o as_o i_o have_v also_o a_o will_n to_o relate_v because_o thou_o first_o have_v so_o will_v that_o i_o shall_v confess_v unto_o thou_o 118.1_o psal_n 118.1_o the_o lord_n my_o god_n because_o that_o thou_o arâ—_n good_a and_o thy_o mercy_n endure_v for_o ever_o finis_fw-la
indeed_o dedicate_v to_o thy_o service_n but_o yet_o as_o it_o be_v pant_v after_o and_o somewhat_o relish_v of_o the_o school_n of_o pride_n so_o late_o leave_v be_v witness_v by_o my_o book_n be_v book_n his_o book_n write_v there_o be_v reason_v partly_o with_o those_o who_o be_v present_a before_o i_o and_o partly_o with_o myself_o alone_o before_o thou_o and_o 2._o and_o contra_fw-la academicos_fw-la lib._n 3._o de_fw-fr vitâ_fw-la beatâ_fw-la l._n 1._o de_fw-fr ordine_fw-la l._n 2._o soliloquiorum_fw-la l._n 2._o what_o i_o act_v with_o absent_a nebridius_fw-la be_v testify_v by_o my_o epistle_n o_o when_o shall_v i_o find_v sufficient_a time_n for_o commemoration_n of_o those_o thy_o so_o many_o and_o so_o great_a benefit_n towards_o we_o in_o that_o time_n especial_o i_o hasten_v to_o yet_o great_a matter_n for_o my_o remembrance_n call_v i_o back_o to_o those_o time_n and_o it_o be_v a_o sweet_a thing_n to_o i_o o_o lord_n to_o confess_v now_o unto_o thou_o *_o with_o what_o inward_a rod_n thou_o then_o tame_v i_o and_o *_o in_o what_o manner_n thou_o level_v and_o plain_v i_o humble_v the_o mountain_n and_o bank_n of_o my_o vain_a and_o tower_a thought_n straighten_v my_o crookedness_n and_o smooth_v my_o roughness_n and_o also_o *_o in_o what_o manner_n thou_o subdue_v alipius_n the_o brother_n of_o my_o soul_n to_o that_o bless_a name_n of_o thy_o only_o beget_v n_o son_n jesus_n christ_n our_o lord_n which_o name_n at_o first_o he_o disdain_v to_o have_v insert_v in_o our_o writing_n which_o he_o desire_v may_v rather_o relish_v △_o of_o the_o lofty_a cedar_n of_o the_o philosophy-school_n 29.5_o psa_fw-la 29.5_o which_o the_o lord_n have_v break_v than_o △_o of_o the_o humble_a and_o low_o medicinal_a herb_n of_o ecclesiastical_a knowledge_n salutary_a for_o nourishment_n preservative_n against_o poison_n o_o what_o passionate_a voice_n send_v i_o up_o onto_z thou_o then_o when_o i_o read_v the_o psalm_n of_o david_n those_o faithful_a hymn_n and_o those_o air_n of_o piety_n not_o to_o be_v sing_v by_o any_o swell_a spirit_n then_o when_o i_o be_v but_o yet_o a_o novice_n in_o the_o school_n of_o thy_o love_n and_o only_o catechumenus_fw-la solace_v myself_o in_o that_o villa_n in_o the_o society_n of_o alipius_n a_o catechumenus_fw-la also_o my_o mother_n still_o adhere_v to_o we_o in_o a_o female_a habit_n but_o with_o a_o manly_a faith_n the_o security_n of_o old_a age_n the_o affection_n of_o a_o mother_n the_o piety_n of_o a_o christian_n o_o what_o passionate_a expression_n i_o say_v make_v i_o unto_o thou_o in_o the_o read_n of_o those_o psalm_n and_o how_o much_o be_v i_o inflame_v towards_o thou_o by_o they_o and_o how_o be_v i_o incense_v to_o have_v sing_v and_o proclaim_v they_o if_o i_o can_v all_o the_o world_n over_o to_o the_o confusion_n of_o the_o swell_a and_o pride_n of_o man_n though_o very_o all_o the_o world_n over_o be_v they_o sing_v and_o there_o be_v none_o that_o can_v hide_v himself_o from_o thy_o heat_n with_o what_o bitter_a indignation_n and_o grief_n do_v i_o storm_n against_o the_o manichee_n 19.6_o psa_fw-la 19.6_o and_o then_o again_o pity_v they_o that_o they_o be_v *_o ignorant_a of_o those_o sacrament_n of_o those_o medicine_n and_o *_o mad_a also_o against_o the_o antidote_n from_o which_o they_o may_v have_v receive_v the_o cure_n of_o their_o madness_n how_o do_v i_o wish_v that_o they_o have_v be_v somewhere_o near_o i_o and_o may_v i_o ignorant_a of_o their_o presence_n or_o harken_v have_v *_o observe_n my_o countenance_n and_o *_o herd_n my_o ejaculation_n when_o i_o read_v the_o four_o psalm_n and_o *_o see_v what_o thing_n in_o that_o my_o retirement_n be_v wrought_v on_o i_o by_o this_o psalm_n cum_fw-la invocarem_fw-la when_o i_o call_v upon_o thou_o thou_o hear_v i_o o_o god_n of_o my_o righteousness_n in_o my_o distress_n thou_o have_v enlarge_v i_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o o_o lord_n and_o hear_v my_o prayer_n that_o i_o say_v they_o may_v have_v hear_v without_o my_o knowledge_n that_o they_o hear_v lest_o they_o may_v think_v that_o for_o they_o i_o say_v so_o what_o thing_n i_o utter_v on_o those_o word_n for_o indeed_o neither_o shall_v i_o say_v the_o same_o thing_n nor_o in_o such_o manner_n say_v they_o suppose_v they_o to_o have_v see_v or_o overhear_v i_o nor_o if_o i_o shall_v have_v say_v the_o same_o will_v they_o have_v so_o entertain_v they_o as_o when_o i_o say_v they_o only_o with_o and_z to_z myself_o before_o thou_o in_o the_o familiar_a and_o native_a affection_n and_o expression_n of_o my_o mind_n how_o do_v i_o now_o tremble_v with_o fear_n now_o again_o burn_v with_o hope_n and_o with_o exultation_n in_o thy_o mercy_n o_o father_n and_o how_o do_v these_o issue_n forth_o by_o my_o eye_n and_o voice_n my_o tear_n and_o sigh_n when_o thy_o good_a spirit_n turn_v unto_o we_o say_v in_o the_o word_n follow_v o_o you_o son_n of_o man_n how_o long_o dull_a of_o heart_n suum_fw-la psal_n 4.3_o vulgar_a filii_fw-la hominum_fw-la usque_fw-la quo_fw-la gravi_fw-la cord_n scirote_n quoniam_fw-la mirificavit_fw-la dominus_fw-la sanctum_fw-la suum_fw-la how_o long_o will_v you_o love_v vanity_n and_o seek_v after_o a_o lie_n know_v you_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v magnify_v his_o holy_a one_o for_o i_o have_v love_v vanity_n and_o seek_v a_o lie_n and_o thou_o lord_n have_v already_o long_o since_o magnify_v thy_o holy_a one_o raise_v he_o from_o the_o dead_a and_o set_v he_o at_o thy_o right_a hand_n whence_o also_o he_o shall_v send_v from_o on_o high_a his_o promise_a comforter_n the_o spirit_n of_o truth_n and_o he_o have_v also_o send_v he_o already_o but_o i_o know_v it_o not_o he_o have_v send_v he_o already_o because_o he_o be_v already_o magnify_v rise_v from_o the_o dead_a and_o ascend_a into_o heaven_n 7.39_o heaven_n joh._n 7.39_o for_o till_o then_o the_o h._n ghost_n be_v not_o give_v because_o jesus_n be_v not_o yet_o glorify_v and_o for_o these_o thing_n it_o be_v that_o the_o prophet_n cry_v out_o how_o long_o dull_a of_o heart_n how_o long_o love_v you_o vanity_n and_o seek_v a_o lie_n and_o know_v you_o that_o the_o lord_n have_v glorify_v his_o holy_a one_o he_o cry_v out_o how_o long_o he_o cri_fw-la be_v out_o know_v you_o and_o i_o so_o long_o not_o know_v have_v love_v vanity_n and_o seek_v after_o a_o lie_n and_o therefore_o i_o hear_v and_o stand_v in_o awe_n because_o this_o be_v speak_v to_o such_o as_o i_o remember_v i_o have_v be_v for_o in_o those_o phantasm_n which_o i_o have_v hold_v for_o truth_n there_o be_v vanity_n and_o a_o lie_n and_o i_o burst_v forth_o into_o many_o serious_a and_o vehement_a expression_n in_o the_o bitterness_n of_o my_o remembrance_n which_o i_o wish_v they_o may_v have_v hear_v who_o even_o until_o now_o love_v that_o vanity_n and_o seek_v after_o that_o lie_n perhaps_o they_o will_v have_v be_v pain_v and_o have_v empty_v themselves_o of_o that_o poison_n 4._o ver._n 4._o and_o so_o thou_o will_v hear_v they_o when_o they_o cry_v unto_o thou_o for_o not_o in_o a_o vain_a and_o lie_a appearance_n but_o by_o a_o true_a death_n of_o his_o flesh_n he_o die_v for_o we_o who_o now_o intercede_v and_o cry_v unto_o thou_o for_o we_o and_o thou_o hear_v he_o i_o further_o read_v there_o 2.5_o there_o ver_fw-la 5._o irascimini_fw-la &_o nolite_fw-la peccare_fw-la rom_n 2.5_o be_v angry_a and_o sin_n not_o and_o how_o be_v i_o move_v therewith_o o_o my_o god_n who_o have_v already_o learn_v to_o be_v angry_a with_o myself_o for_o my_o past_a sin_n that_o i_o may_v for_o the_o future_a forbear_v sin_v and_o with_o good_a reason_n angry_a because_o it_o be_v not_o any_o other_o nature_n of_o the_o nation_n of_o darkness_n that_o sin_v in_o i_o as_o they_o say_v who_o therefore_o be_v not_o angry_a with_o themselves_o for_o it_o and_o so_o treasure_n up_o anger_n against_o the_o day_n of_o anger_n and_o of_o the_o revelation_n of_o thy_o just_a judgement_n neither_o be_v now_o my_o bona_fw-la my_o allusion_n to_o verse_n 6._o quis_fw-la ostendet_fw-la nobis_fw-la bona_fw-la good_a thing_n as_o they_o place_v abroad_o and_o without_o i_o nor_o seek_v with_o my_o carnal_a eye_n by_o the_o light_n of_o that_o sun_n for_o those_o who_o seek_v their_o joy_n in_o something_o abroad_o do_v easy_o become_v vain_a and_o be_v spill_v upon_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v see_v and_o which_o be_v temporal_a and_o with_o hungersterved_n cogitation_n continue_v still_o lick_v the_o image_n thereof_o and_o oh_o that_o they_o may_v once_o grow_v weary_a of_o and_o loath_a such_o a_o hunger_n and_o say_v quis_fw-la ostendet_fw-la nobis_fw-la bona_fw-la who_o will_v show_v we_o any_o better_a good_a and_o that_o we_o may_v answer_v again_o &_o they_o may_v hearken_v unto_o it_o
experience_n discover_v it_o vulgar_a â—ob_v 8.1_o vulgar_a and_o no_o man_n may_v be_v secure_a in_o this_o life_n which_o be_v whole_o call_v a_o temptation_n that_o as_o he_o may_v have_v be_v make_v of_o worse_a better_a so_o he_o may_v not_o become_v from_o better_a worse_a the_o only_a hope_n the_o only_a confidence_n the_o only_a secure_a promise_n to_o rely_v on_o be_v thy_o mercy_n o_o lord_n chap._n xxxiii_o 4._o his_o remain_a infirmity_n concern_v the_o temptation_n of_o the_o ear_n in_o music_n where_o whether_o music_n be_v useful_a in_o church_n the_o pleasure_n of_o the_o ear_n have_v more_o strong_o ensnare_v and_o captive_v i_o but_o thou_o have_v dissolve_v these_o bond_n and_o have_v set_v i_o at_o liberty_n i_o confess_v i_o do_v now_o still_o a_o little_a repose_n and_o acquiesse_n in_o the_o melody_n of_o those_o sound_n which_o be_v animate_v with_o thy_o sacred_a hymn_n when_o these_o be_v sing_v with_o a_o sweet_a &_o skilful_a voice_n yet_o not_o so_o adhere_v to_o they_o but_o that_o i_o can_v disengage_v myself_o at_o pleasure_n yet_o these_o air_n by_o reason_n of_o the_o divine_a matter_n which_o usher_v they_o in_o and_o procure_v their_o admittance_n do_v seek_v some_o respectful_a entertainment_n also_o in_o my_o soul_n and_o i_o find_v some_o difficulty_n to_o give_v they_o one_o exact_o suitable_a for_o i_o seem_v to_o myself_o sometime_o to_o allow_v they_o more_o honour_n than_o be_v meet_v upon_o experience_n *_o that_o our_o soul_n become_v more_o religious_o and_o fervent_o raise_v into_o a_o flame_n of_o devotion_n with_o those_o holy_a oracle_n when_o sing_v in_o such_o a_o manner_n than_o when_o not_o sing_v at_o all_o and_z *_o that_o all_o the_o affection_n of_o our_o spirit_n according_a to_o their_o manifold_a variety_n do_v find_v answerable_a note_n in_o music_n with_o a_o secret_a harmony_n and_o acquaintance_n of_o which_o they_o be_v much_o excite_v but_o yet_o the_o delight_n of_o my_o flesh_n to_o which_o we_o ought_v not_o to_o yield-ove_a the_o soul_n to_o be_v effeminate_a do_v often_o deceive_v i_o whilst_o my_o sense_n do_v not_o so_o wait_v upon_o reason_n as_o patient_o to_o follow_v it_o for_o who_o benefit_n only_o it_o be_v make_v use_n of_o but_o in_o seek_v its_o own_o contentment_n strive_v to_o run_v before_o and_o to_o lead_v it_z thus_o in_o these_o thing_n i_o offend_v yet_o do_v not_o then_o but_o afterward_o discover_v my_o fault_n and_o sometime_o again_o immoderate_o aware_a of_o this_o fallacy_n i_o err_v on_o the_o otherside_n in_o too_o much_o severity_n but_o this_o very_a seldom_o so_o that_o *_o i_o will_v have_v all_o the_o melody_n of_o those_o sweet_a tune_n in_o which_o david_n pralter_n be_v usual_o suâ—g_v banish_v from_o my_o ear_n and_o also_o from_o the_o church_n too_o and_z *_o that_n course_n seem_v to_o i_o the_o more_o safe_a which_o i_o have_v often_o hear_v tell_v of_o athanasius_n bishop_n of_o alexandria_n who_o cause_v the_o reader_n to_o speak_v the_o psalm_n with_o so_o small_a a_o variation_n of_o tone_n that_o it_o may_v seem_v near_o to_o pronounce_v than_o sing_v yet_o again_o when_o i_o call_v to_o mind_n those_o tear_n i_o shed_v in_o the_o sing_n of_o the_o church-hymne_n at_o the_o first_o beginning_n of_o my_o conversion_n to_o the_o faith_n and_o now_o also_o *_o my_o be_v much_o more_o move_v not_o with_o the_o sing_n but_o the_o thing_n sing_v when_o tune_v with_o a_o clear_a voice_n and_o a_o most_o convenient_a note_n i_o again_o acknowledge_v great_a benefit_n of_o such_o institution_n thus_o i_o float_v between_o the_o peril_n of_o be_v please_v and_o the_o experiment_n of_o be_v profit_v and_o be_o rather_o incline_v yet_o not_o with_o a_o irrevocable_a judgement_n to_o approve_v the_o custom_n of_o sing_v in_o the_o church_n that_o by_o the_o delight_n of_o the_o ear_n a_o weak_a soul_n may_v raise_v itself_o into_o a_o affection_n of_o piety_n yet_o whenever_o so_o it_o happen_v that_o the_o sing_v itself_o more_o move_v i_o than_o the_o matter_n sing_v i_o confess_v i_o sin_n penal_o and_o then_o have_v i_o rather_o hear_v no_o sing_n at_o all_o behold_v the_o present_a condition_n i_o be_o in_o weep_v you_o with_o i_o and_o for_o i_o weep_v you_o who_o within_o yourselves_o have_v the_o like_a good_a purpose_n with_o i_o from_o which_o purpose_v flow_v well-doing_n as_o for_o you_o who_o have_v none_o such_o thing_n as_o these_o trouble_v not_o you_o and_o thou_o o_o lord_n my_o god_n look_v back_o upon_o i_o and_o hear_v and_o see_v and_o pity_n and_o heal_v i_o in_o who_o sight_n i_o be_o thus_o become_v a_o question_n and_o a_o doubt_n unto_o myself_o &_o this_o be_v my_o present_a malady_n chap._n xxxiv_o 5._o his_o remain_a infirmity_n concern_v the_o temptation_n of_o the_o eye_n in_o splendid_a fair_a and_o well-proportioned_a object_n there_o remain_v yet_o the_o pleasure_n of_o these_o eye_n of_o my_o flesh_n of_o which_o i_o will_v now_o make_v my_o confession_n to_o be_v hear_v by_o the_o pious_a ear_n of_o my_o brethren_n thy_o temple_n that_o so_o we_o may_v conclude_v the_o temptation_n of_o the_o lust_n of_o the_o flesh_n which_o as_o yet_o assault_v i_o groan_v earnest_o and_o desire_v to_o be_v clothe_v upon_o with_o my_o house_n from_o heaven_n my_o eye_n yet_o love_v fair_a and_o vary_a figure_n bright_a and_o clear_a colour_n oh_o let_v not_o they_o possess_v my_o soul_n but_o let_v god_n possess_v it_o who_o make_v they_o very_o good_a indeed_o but_o yet_o be_v he_o my_o good_a and_o not_o they_o 1.31_o gen._n 1.31_o and_o these_o thing_n accost_v i_o when_o awake_a all_o the_o day_n long_o neither_o do_v i_o find_v any_o respite_n from_o they_o as_o i_o do_v from_o musical_a and_o sometime_o from_o all_o other_o sounds_z as_o it_o happen_v in_o a_o perfect_a silence_n for_o the_o very_a light_n itself_o the_o queen_n of_o colour_n in_o its_o overspread_v all_o thing_n which_o we_o behold_v pleasant_o with_o a_o various_a influx_n flatter_v and_o inveigle_v i_o even_o when_o do_v something_o else_o and_o not_o observe_v it_o and_o so_o strong_o do_v it_o insinuate_v itself_o that_o if_o sudden_o withdraw_v it_o be_v straight_o impatient_o desire_v and_o if_o long_o miss_v it_o contristate_v my_o spirit_n but_o o_o that_o light_n *_o which_o toby_n behold_v when_o with_o his_o eye_n close_v 4._o tob._n 4._o he_o direct_v his_o son_n the_o way_n to_o life_n and_o himself_o walk_v before_o he_o with_o the_o foot_n of_o charity_n which_o swerve_v not_o at_o all_o from_o the_o right_a way_n or_o *_o which_o isaac_n behold_v 27._o gen._n 27._o when_o his_o carnal_a sight_n be_v close_v with_o old_a age_n he_o bless_v not_o his_o son_n by_o know_v they_o but_z by_o blessing_n come_v to_o know_v they_o 49._o gen._n 49._o or_o *_o which_o jacob_n behold_v â–³_o when_o he_o also_o by_o great_a age_n have_v lose_v his_o sight_n with_o a_o illuminate_v soul_n view_v and_o foresignify_v the_o condition_n of_o the_o several_a people_n descend_v from_o his_o son_n and_o â–³_o when_o he_o impose_v his_o hand_n 48._o gen._n 48._o mystical_o cross_v upon_o joseph_n child_n not_o as_o their_o father_n outward_o direct_v but_o as_o he_o inward_o discern_v that_o be_v the_o true_a light_n and_o one_o it_o be_v and_o unchangeable_a it_o be_v and_o one_o also_o be_v all_o they_o who_o see_v and_o who_o love_n it_z but_o that_o other_o corporeal_a light_n of_o which_o i_o have_v be_v speak_v season_v and_o relish_v this_o present_a life_n to_o its_o blind_a lover_n with_o a_o most_o ensnare_a and_o perilous_a sweetness_n but_o those_o who_o know_v also_o how_o from_o it_o to_o give_v thou_o glory_n o_o god_n all-creator_n spend_v it_o in_o thy_o hymn_n and_o prevent_v it_o in_o their_o vigilance_n and_o such_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v these_o seducement_n of_o my_o eye_n i_o now_o fight_v against_o lest_o my_o foot_n wherewith_o i_o walk_v in_o thy_o way_n shall_v happen_v any_o way_n to_o be_v ensnare_v and_o to_o thou_o i_o lift_v up_o my_o invisible_a eye_n that_o thou_o will_v pull_v my_o foot_n out_o of_o the_o snare_n and_o thou_o be_v ever_o and_o anon_o lose_v they_o for_o often_o be_v they_o fetter_v these_o net_n be_v spread_v for_o i_o on_o every_o side_n but_o thou_o delay_v not_o to_o pluck_v they_o out_o again_o who_o be_v the_o keeper_n of_o israel_n that_o never_o slumber_v nor_o sleep_v for_o what_o innumerable_a invention_n by_o divers_a art_n and_o manufacture_n in_o attire_n utensile_n furniture_n building_n and_o in_o picture_n also_o and_o several_a sort_n of_o statue_n and_o image_n those_o surpass_v all_o necessary_a or_o moderate_a use_n these_o any_o pious_a significatson_n have_v man_n accumulate_v to_o the_o former_a
which_o those_o writing_n so_o inflame_v i_o there_o be_v those_o that_o seduce_v through_o philosophy_n with_o this_o smooth_a and_o noble_a and_o virtuous_a name_n palliate_v and_o colour_n over_o their_o error_n and_o almost_o all_o who_o in_o those_o or_o in_o former_a time_n be_v such_o be_v in_o that_o book_n note_v and_o set_v down_o and_o there_o likewise_o be_v express_v that_o salvifical_a admonition_n of_o thy_o spirit_n by_o thy_o pious_a and_o devout_a servant_n 2.8_o col._n 2.8_o beware_v lest_o any_o man_n spoil_v you_o through_o philosophy_n and_o vain_a deceit_n after_o the_o tradition_n of_o man_n after_o the_o rudiment_n of_o the_o world_n and_o not_o after_o christ_n for_o in_o he_o dwell_v all_o the_o fullness_n of_o the_o godhead_n bodily_a and_o i_o for_o thou_o o_o light_n of_o my_o soul_n know_v that_o the_o apostolical_a advice_n be_v then_o unknown_a to_o i_o be_v much_o please_v with_o this_o in_o that_o exhortation_n of_o cicero_n that_o it_o excite_v and_o kindle_v and_o inflame_a i_o not_o to_o this_o or_o that_o sect_n but_o to_o the_o affect_v and_o pursuance_n and_o apprehend_v of_o wisdom_n itself_o whatever_o it_o be_v and_o in_o this_o great_a ardency_n of_o i_o this_o one_o thing_n only_o cool_v i_o that_o the_o name_n of_o christ_n be_v not_o there_o because_o this_o name_n according_a to_o thy_o mercy_n o_o lord_n this_o name_n of_o my_o saviour_n thy_o son_n my_o tender_a heart_n with_o my_o very_a mother_n milk_n have_v pious_o imbibe_v and_o deep_o apprehend_v and_o whatsoever_o want_v this_o name_n though_o never_o so_o learned_a polite_a or_o veritable_a yet_o do_v not_o whole_o sway_v i_o chap._n v._n not_o find_v our_o saviour_n in_o philosophy_n he_o turn_v to_o the_o scripture_n who_o humble_a stile_n in_o comparison_n of_o tullie_n give_v he_o distaste_n therefore_o now_o i_o design_v my_o study_n to_o the_o holy_a scripture_n to_o see_v what_o a_o writing_n it_o be_v and_o behold_v i_o find_v it_o not_o intelligible_a to_o the_o proud_a nor_o yet_o discover_v and_o naked_a to_o child_n but_o in_o its_o stile_n lowly_a lofty_a in_o its_o sense_n and_o veil_v with_o mystery_n nor_o be_v i_o such_o as_o can_v enter_v into_o it_o or_o stoop_v my_o neck_n unto_o its_o humble_a pace_n for_o not_o as_o i_o judge_v now_o so_o fancy_v i_o then_o when_o i_o first_o look_v upon_o that_o sacred_a book_n but_o to_o i_o altogether_o unworthy_a it_o seem_v to_o be_v once_o compare_v to_o tully_n lofty_a stile_n for_o my_o swell_a tumour_n abhor_v its_o sober_a temper_n and_o my_o sight_n pierce_v not_o the_o inside_n thereof_o yet_o such_o it_o be_v as_o will_v still_o have_v grow_v up_o high_a together_o with_o those_o who_o be_v little_a one_o as_o they_o shall_v grow_v high_a but_o such_o a_o little_a one_o i_o scorn_v to_o be_v and_o swell_v with_o pride_n i_o think_v i_o be_v some_o great_a one_o chap._n vi_o in_o quest_n of_o wisdom_n he_o fall_v into_o the_o society_n and_o error_n of_o the_o manichee_n absurd_a pernicious_a and_o even_o therefore_o i_o fall_v among_o the_o proud_o dote_v manichee_n dote_v the_o manichee_n and_o too_o too_o carnal_a and_o yet_o great_a talker_n in_o who_o mouth_n be_v lay_v the_o snare_n of_o satan_n and_o a_o catch_a birdlime_n compound_v of_o the_o commixture_n of_o the_o syllable_n of_o thy_o name_n and_o also_o of_o that_o of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n and_o of_o the_o comforter_n the_o holy_a spirit_n in_o their_o mouth_n be_v all_o these_o very_a rife_a but_o in_o the_o sound_n only_o and_o noise_n of_o the_o tongue_n with_o a_o heart_n void_a of_o truth_n and_o they_o speak_v of_o truth_n and_o truth_n and_o many_o they_o be_v that_o name_v it_o unto_o i_o and_o no_o where_o be_v it_o in_o they_o but_o false_a thing_n they_o speak_v not_o of_o thou_o only_o who_o be_v the_o true_a truth_n but_o also_o of_o those_o element_n of_o the_o world_n thy_o creature_n of_o which_o i_o find_v the_o philosopher_n speak_v truth_n yet_o those_o also_o i_o ought_v to_o have_v pass_v by_o for_o the_o transcend_v love_v of_o thou_o my_o father_n the_o high_a good_a and_o the_o beauty_n of_o all_o that_o be_v beauteous_a o_o truth_n truth_n how_o intimate_o then_o do_v the_o very_a marrow_n of_o my_o soul_n suspire_v towards_o thou_o when_o they_o noise_v thy_o name_n unto_o i_o often_o and_o various_o but_o in_o word_n only_o and_o in_o many_o and_o voluminous_a write_n story_n write_n note_v that_o all_o that_o which_o follow_v thus_o mark_v the_o reader_n if_o he_o please_v may_v omit_v as_o less_o pertinent_a to_o the_o story_n and_o those_o be_v their_o dish_n wherein_o to_o i_o hunger_a after_o thou_o be_v serve_v up_o instead_o of_o thou_o the_o sun_n and_o the_o moon_n splendid_a work_n of_o thou_o but_o thy_o work_n though_o and_o not_o thou_o nor_o those_o the_o prime_a of_o they_o for_o thy_o spiritual_a work_n precede_v those_o corporeal_a though_o glorious_a and_o celestial_a but_o neither_o be_v it_o those_o thy_o prime_a creature_n but_o thyself_o thou_o o_o truth_n 1.17_o truth_n jam._n 1.17_o in_o who_o be_v no_o change_n neither_o shadow_n of_o turn_v who_o i_o hunger_v and_o thirst_v after_o in_o stead_n of_o who_o those_o table_n present_v i_o yet_o with_o other_o glitter_a phantasm_n when_o far_o worthy_a have_v it_o be_v to_o have_v pitch_v my_o admiration_n upon_o the_o sun_n to_o my_o eye_n a_o real_a thing_n then_o on_o those_o other_o falsity_n wherein_o my_o mind_n through_o my_o eye_n be_v deceive_v and_o yet_o take_v they_o to_o be_v thou_o i_o feed_v upon_o they_o not_o so_o greedy_o indeed_o for_o what_o relish_n have_v these_o like_a unto_o thou_o with_o which_o i_o then_o be_v feed_v or_o empty_v rather_o meat_n in_o a_o dream_n though_o not_o feed_v we_o resemble_v that_o which_o we_o feed_v on_o wake_v but_o that_o food_n do_v not_o the_o least_o resemble_v thou_o as_o thy_o sweetness_n have_v now_o appear_v unto_o i_o for_o they_o be_v but_o corporeal_a phantasm_n the_o counterfeit_n of_o body_n more_o real_a than_o which_o be_v those_o true_a one_o which_o with_o our_o fleshly_a sight_n we_o contemplate_v whether_o heaven_n or_o earthly_a we_o together_o with_o the_o beast_n and_o foul_n gaze_v on_o these_o more_o real_a therefore_o they_o be_v than_o those_o we_o only_o imagine_v yet_o again_o more_o reasonable_o do_v we_o imagine_v those_o than_o conjecture_n and_o derive_v again_o from_o they_o yet_o more_o vast_a and_o infinit-nothings_a with_o which_o emptiness_n i_o be_v then_o feed_v or_o rather_o be_v not_o feed_v at_o all_o but_o thou_o o_o my_o love_n into_o who_o arm_n i_o faint_v that_o i_o may_v there_o gain_v strength_n be_v neither_o those_o body_n above_o which_o we_o see_v though_o from_o heaven_n thou_o come_v nor_o be_v thou_o those_o we_o there_o see_v not_o for_o all_o they_o have_v thou_o frame_v neither_o count_v thou_o they_o the_o chief_a of_o thy_o work_n how_o much_o more_o remote_a than_o be_v thou_o from_o be_v those_o my_o phantasm_n the_o fantasy_n of_o body_n which_o be_v not_o more_o real_a than_o which_o be_v the_o image_n of_o those_o body_n that_o be_v and_o yet_o the_o body_n themselves_o more_o certain_a than_o these_o which_o real_a body_n yet_o thou_o be_v not_o neither_o yet_o art_n thou_o the_o soul_n which_o be_v the_o life_n of_o these_o body_n and_o this_o life_n of_o body_n be_v better_a stable_a than_o the_o body_n but_o thou_o be_v the_o life_n of_o the_o soul_n the_o life_n of_o these_o life_n live_v always_o from_o thyself_o and_o never_o vary_v o_o thou_o life_n of_o my_o soul_n where_o be_v thou_o at_o that_o time_n and_o at_o how_o great_a a_o distance_n and_o i_o sojourn_v far_o from_o thou_o be_v deprive_v even_o of_o the_o husk_n of_o those_o swine_n who_o i_o then_o feed_v with_o husk_n for_o how_o much_o better_o be_v the_o fable_n of_o the_o grammarian_n and_o the_o poet_n than_o these_o cheat_n for_o make_v a_o verse_n and_o a_o sonnet_n and_o a_o medea_n fly_v in_o the_o air_n etc._n etc._n be_v more_o to_o purpose_n than_o five_o element_n colourable_o diversify_v to_o suit_v the_o five_o cave_n of_o darkness_n which_o be_v mere_a nothing_o in_o themselves_o yet_o mortal_a to_o those_o who_o believe_v they_o but_o my_o verse_n and_o my_o poetry_n i_o exercise_v on_o the_o element_n that_o true_o be_v so_o and_o for_o medea_n fly_v i_o neither_o believe_v it_o sing_v nor_o sing_v it_o to_o be_v believe_v but_o the_o other_o i_o believe_v alas_o alas_o by_o what_o stair_n be_v i_o convey_v into_o the_o depth_n of_o hell_n 9.18_o prov._n 9.18_o for_o toil_a and_o sweat_v in_o quest_n of_o still-wanted_n truth_n whilst_o i_o seek_v thou_o o_o my_o god_n for_o to_o thou_o
come_v to_o he_o to_o milan_n her_o vision_n at_o sea_n o_o thou_o my_o hope_n from_o my_o youth_n where_o be_v it_o thou_o then_o and_o whither_o have_v thou_o retire_v thyself_o be_v it_o not_o thou_o that_o have_v make_v i_o and_o distinguish_v i_o from_o the_o beast_n of_o the_o field_n and_o from_o the_o fowl_n of_o the_o air_n for_o thou_o have_v make_v i_o wise_a than_o these_o and_o lo_o i_o walk_v through_o dark_a and_o slippery_a path_n and_o seek_v thou_o abroad_o in_o thing_n without_o i_o and_o so_o i_o find_v not_o the_o god_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o be_v now_o at_o last_o sink_v into_o the_o bottom_n of_o the_o deep_a disconsolate_a and_o despair_v of_o ever_o find_v truth_n and_o now_o be_v my_o good_a mother_n come_v unto_o i_o courageous_a through_o piety_n and_o both_o over_o land_n and_o sea_n follow_v after_o i_o in_o all_o her_o peril_n secure_a of_o thy_o help_n for_o also_o when_o they_o be_v in_o great_a danger_n at_o sea_n she_o comfort_v the_o mariner_n themselves_o by_o who_o the_o unexperienced_a passenger_n of_o the_o deep_a rather_o use_v to_o be_v comfort_v and_o assure_v they_o of_o a_o safe_a arrival_n because_o thou_o have_v before_o by_o vision_n assure_v this_o to_o she_o and_o here_o she_o find_v i_o languish_v all_o in_o despair_n of_o discovery_n of_o truth_n and_o when_o i_o tell_v she_o that_o now_o though_o i_o be_v no_o catholic_n yet_o i_o be_v no_o manichee_n she_o express_v no_o extraordinary_a joy_n as_o at_o a_o thing_n unexpected_a although_o by_o this_o she_o remain_v now_o secure_v concern_v one_o great_a part_n of_o my_o misery_n wherein_o she_o *_o have_v long_o deplore_v i_o as_o dead_a but_o so_o dead_a as_o capable_a of_o a_o resuscitation_n unto_o thou_o and_z *_o have_v offer_v i_o carried_z forth_o upon_o the_o biâ—re_n of_o her_o thought_n unto_o thou_o that_o thou_o touch_v with_o companion_n will_v be_v please_v to_o say_v unto_o the_o son_n of_o this_o widow_n 7.12_o luke_n 7.12_o yâ—ung_a man_n i_o say_v unto_o thou_o arise_v and_o so_o her_o son_n may_v revive_v and_o may_v begin_v to_o speak_v and_o thou_o may_v deliver_v he_o to_o his_o mother_n with_o no_o such_o extraordinary_a exultation_n i_o say_v be_v her_o heart_n transport_v at_o all_o in_o hear_v that_o the_o business_n be_v so_o far_o do_v for_o which_o she_o have_v daily_o weep_v before_o thou_o in_o that_o i_o be_v already_o though_o not_o confirm_v in_o truth_n yet_o remove_v from_o error_n but_o as_o be_v ascertain_v that_o in_o due_a time_n thou_o will_v give_v the_o rest_n who_o have_v promise_v she_o the_o whole_a she_o calm_o and_o with_o a_o breast_n full_a of_o confidence_n answer_v i_o that_o she_o full_o believe_v in_o christ_n before_o she_o die_v she_o shall_v see_v i_o also_o a_o perfect_a catholic_n and_o this_o to_o i_o buâ—_n to_o thou_o fountain_n of_o mercy_n she_o redouble_v her_o request_n and_o tear_n that_o thou_o will_v hasten_v thy_o aid_n &_o enlighten_v my_o darkness_n more_o zealous_o she_o run_v to_o the_o church_n and_o to_o that_o fountain_n of_o live_a water_n spring_v up_o unto_o life_n eternal_a and_o hang_v upon_o the_o sweet_a lip_n of_o thy_o servant_n ambrose_n for_o she_o love_v and_o reverence_v that_o man_n as_o a_o angel_n of_o god_n because_o she_o know_v that_o by_o his_o mean_n i_o be_v reduce_v to_o this_o fluctuate_a and_o aguish_a condition_n and_o she_o certain_o presume_v that_o my_o disease_n be_v now_o bring_v to_o a_o crisis_n as_o physician_n speak_v i_o shall_v after_o the_o access_n of_o a_o sharp_a fit_a be_v advance_v to_o a_o perfect_a health_n chap._n ii_o her_o great_a piety_n sobriety_n obedience_n to_o bishop_n ambrose_n prohibit_v charity-feasting_n at_o the_o tomb_n of_o martyr_n than_o a_o usual_a custom_n in_o africa_n therefore_o when_o according_a to_o the_o custom_n in_o africa_n she_o have_v bring_v with_o she_o to_o the_o oratory_n of_o the_o saint_n bread_n wine_n and_o pultes_fw-la and_o pultes_fw-la other_o edible_a provision_n and_o by_o the_o sexton_n of_o such_o sanctuary_n be_v forbid_v it_o so_o soon_o as_o ever_o she_o understand_v that_o it_o be_v the_o bishop_n countermand_n she_o so_o pious_o and_o obedient_o conform_v to_o iâ—_n that_o i_o much_o admire_v she_o can_v so_o sudden_o become_v rather_o a_o accuser_n of_o her_o former_a practice_n than_o a_o disputer_n of_o the_o present_a prohibition_n for_o her_o spirit_n be_v free_a from_o all_o inclination_n to_o intemperance_n and_o the_o love_n of_o wine_n do_v not_o provoke_v she_o to_o the_o hate_n of_o truth_n as_o it_o do_v many_o of_o both_o sex_n who_o excess_n make_v they_o nauseat_v a_o lesson_n of_o sobriety_n like_o a_o cup_n of_o small_a water_n but_o she_o carry_v thither_o her_o basket_n furnish_v with_o the_o accustom_a provision_n only_o to_o be_v taste_v of_o and_o so_o distribute_v to_o other_o never_o present_v but_o one_o little_a cup_n of_o wine_n much_o do_v lute_v and_o mix_v for_o her_o sober_a palate_n to_o take_v a_o little_a taste_n thereof_o and_o if_o there_o be_v more_o memorial_n than_o one_o so_o to_o be_v honour_v poor_a honour_v such_o provision_n be_v carry_v aâ—_n a_o offering_n in_o honour_n of_o the_o martyr_n to_o be_v distribute_v to_o those_o who_o be_v present_a and_o especial_o to_o the_o poor_a the_o same_o small_a cup_n serve_v she_o for_o they_o all_o which_o not_o only_o much_o watery_a but_o also_o by_o carriage_n very_o hot_a and_o unrefresh_a be_v by_o small_a sipping_n divide_v between_o she_o and_o her_o companion_n in_o the_o devotion_n as_o who_o in_o such_o place_n seek_v not_o sensuality_n but_o piety_n she_o therefore_o perceive_v that_o this_o pious_a prelate_n and_o famous_a preacher_n have_v command_v no_o such_o thing_n to_o be_v practise_v though_o by_o the_o sober_a *_o least_o so_o any_o occasion_n of_o gluttony_n shall_v be_v give_v to_o the_o intemperate_a and_o also_o *_o because_o such_o parentalia_fw-la as_o it_o be_v and_o festival_n ceremony_n at_o the_o tomb_n of_o the_o decease_a very_o much_o resemble_v pagan_a superstition_n she_o do_v most_o willing_o acquiesce_v thereto_o and_o in_o stead_n of_o a_o basket_n former_o full_a of_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o earth_n she_o learn_v to_o carry_v to_o these_o sanctuary_n a_o heart_n full_a of_o more_o purify_a vow_n both_o to_o give_v to_o the_o poor_a what_o she_o can_v spare_v and_o there_o to_o celebrate_v the_o communion_n of_o the_o lord_n body_n in_o the_o imitation_n of_o who_o passion_n be_v the_o immolation_n and_o coronation_n of_o those_o martyr_n yet_o my_o mind_n persuade_v i_o that_o my_o mother_n will_v not_o so_o easy_o have_v yield_v to_o the_o reverse_v of_o this_o her_o custom_n have_v another_o person_n than_o ambrose_n prohibit_v it_o who_o she_o dear_o love_v for_o his_o advance_v my_o salvation_n and_o he_o she_o for_o her_o religious_a conversation_n so_o fervent_a in_o spirit_n and_o good_a work_n so_o frequent_a at_o church_n so_o that_o he_o espy_v i_o there_o at_o his_o sermon_n will_v often_o to_o i_o break_v forth_o in_o her_o praise_n much_o joy_v i_o of_o such_o a_o mother_n not_o know_v that_o she_o have_v such_o a_o son_n who_o be_v yet_o in_o all_o matter_n a_o sceptic_a and_o think_v the_o true_a way_n of_o life_n utter_o undiscoverable_a chap._n iii_o s._n ambrose_n his_o employment_n s._n austin_n find_v no_o opportunity_n of_o p_o ivate_a discourse_n with_o he_o yet_o learn_v from_o his_o sermon_n that_o catholic_n hold_v not_o the_o doctrine_n charge_v on_o they_o by_o the_o manichee_n neither_o be_v my_o soul_n now_o mourn_v in_o prayer_n to_o procure_v thy_o deliverance_n but_o intent_n to_o make_v query_n and_o restless_a to_o dispute_v as_o for_o ambrose_n i_o take_v he_o to_o be_v a_o man_n only_o secular_o happy_a be_v so_o much_o reverence_v by_o so_o many_z and_o great_a personage_n saâ—ing_v that_o his_o celibacy_n seem_v to_o i_o somewhat_o troublesome_a to_o be_v undergo_v but_o what_o lively_a hope_n he_o have_v of_o future_a to_o counterpoise_v the_o temptation_n and_o vanity_n of_o present_a eminency_n what_o conflict_n or_o solace_n he_o feel_v in_o adversity_n justina_n adversity_n when_o he_o be_v in_o disgrace_n and_o pâ—_n secute_v â—y_a the_o empress_n justina_n what_o savoury_a joy_n the_o hide_a mouth_n of_o his_o heart_n taste_v in_o ruminate_v upon_o thy_o delicious_a food_n these_o i_o can_v not_o conjecture_v nor_o have_v experience_v nor_o on_o the_o other_o side_n know_v he_o the_o anxiety_n of_o my_o spirit_n nor_o the_o depth_n of_o my_o danger_n for_o i_o can_v not_o confer_v with_o he_o what_o and_o how_o much_o i_o please_v be_v seclude_v from_o his_o speech_n by_o the_o many_o business_n of_o other_o whosâ—_n infirmity_n he_o serve_v and_o the_o rest_n of_o
whither_o the_o thing_n be_v demonstrable_a though_o all_o not_o capable_a thereof_o or_o whither_o it_o be_v not_o before_o the_o manichean_a proceed_n where_o first_o with_o a_o temerarious_a promise_v of_o certain_a science_n such_o credulity_n be_v deride_v and_o next_o so_o many_o fable_n and_o absurdity_n which_o can_v never_o be_v demonstrate_v be_v impose_v to_o be_v believe_v but_o afterward_o by_o little_a and_o little_o thou_o o_o lord_n with_o a_o gentle_a and_o merciful_a hand_n touch_v my_o sore_n and_o compose_v my_o soul_n do_v thorough_o persuade_v i_o in_o this_o matter_n after_o that_o i_o have_v well_o consider_v how_o many_o thing_n i_o not_o see_v and_o far_o absent_a when_o they_o be_v act_v yet_o firm_o believe_v as_o so_o many_o thing_n in_o secular_a history_n so_o many_o thing_n of_o country_n and_o city_n never_o view_v by_o i_o so_o many_o thing_n hear_v from_o my_o friend_n from_o my_o physician_n from_o many_o other_o which_o if_o not_o credit_v a_o end_n must_v be_v put_v to_o all_o humane_a soci_fw-la tie_n and_o commerce_n last_o whâ—n_o i_o â—sâ—â—erâ—d_v how_o firm_o i_o believe_v that_o i_o be_v bear_v of_o such_o parent_n a_o thing_n not_o know_v to_o i_o but_o by_o credit_v another_o relation_n thou_o at_o last_o persuade_v dst_o i_n i_o say_v that_o not_o so_o much_o those_o who_o believe_v thy_o book_n which_o with_o so_o grâ—â—t_a authority_n thou_o have_v establish_v almost_o thrâ—â—ll_a nation_n as_o those_o who_o believe_v they_o not_o be_v blameworthy_a nor_o be_v any_o such_o to_o be_v hearken_v to_o who_o shall_v say_v how_o know_v thou_o that_o these_o book_n be_v by_o the_o holy_a spirit_n of_o the_o true_a and_o truth-communicating_a god_n deliver_v to_o mankind_n for_o this_o point_n of_o all_o the_o 〈◊〉_d be_v most_o rational_o credible_a for_o first_o no_o sophistry_n nor_o â—â—villing_a question_n that_o i_o have_v read_v in_o the_o contradict_a philosopher_n can_v ever_o stagger_v this_o faith_n in_o i_o that_o thou_o be_v though_o i_o be_v ignorant_a what_o thou_o be_v and_o that_o the_o government_n of_o humane_a affair_n belong_v unto_o thou_o though_o i_o confess_v this_o faith_n in_o i_o be_v sometime_o strong_a sometime_o weak_a yet_o always_o i_o believe_v that_o thou_o be_v and_o that_o we_o also_o be_v a_o care_n unto_o thou_o though_o i_o know_v not_o what_o to_o think_v of_o thy_o substance_n nor_o of_o the_o way_n of_o thy_o guide_n and_o reduce_v man_n unto_o thou_o again_o since_o our_o too_o great_a weakness_n to_o find_v out_o clear_a and_o evident_a truth_n have_v need_v also_o of_o the_o revelation_n of_o some_o divine_a writing_n i_o begin_v now_o to_o believe_v that_o thy_o care_n over_o we_o will_v never_o suffer_v such_o a_o sway_a authority_n throughout_o all_o the_o world_n to_o be_v give_v to_o these_o writing_n unless_o it_o have_v also_o be_v thy_o good_a pleasure_n that_o accord_v to_o they_o we_o shall_v believe_v in_o thou_o according_a to_o they_o seek_v thou_o for_o now_o the_o seem_a absurdity_n which_o offend_v i_o in_o thy_o scripture_n after_o a_o many_o of_o they_o so_o probable_o expound_v be_v impute_v by_o i_o to_o the_o altitude_n of_o its_o mystery_n and_o the_o authority_n thereof_o seem_v to_o i_o so_o much_o the_o more_o venerable_a and_o worthy_a of_o a_o religious_a credit_n in_o that_o it_o yield_v itself_o to_o be_v read_v by_o all_o in_o a_o humble_a stile_n and_o yet_o preserve_v the_o honour_n of_o its_o secret_n in_o a_o more_o profound_a meaning_n stoop_v to_o every_o one_o in_o the_o plainness_n of_o its_o word_n and_o lowness_n of_o its_o phrase_n and_o yet_o exercise_v the_o best_a observance_n of_o those_o who_o be_v not_o light_a of_o heart_n that_o it_o may_v with_o a_o display_a bosom_n receive_v all_o though_o through_o its_o narrow_a passage_n it_o transmits_n but_o few_o unto_o thou_o yet_o many_o more_o transmit_v thus_o than_o if_o it_o either_o have_v not_o reach_v so_o high_a in_o the_o top_n of_o its_o mysterious_a authority_n or_o not_o invite_v such_o multitude_n into_o the_o lap_n of_o its_o venerable_a humility_n chap._n vi_o his_o ambition_n and_o the_o care_n attend_v it_o his_o great_a solicitude_n be_v to_o speak_v a_o panegyric_n before_o the_o emperor_n much_o envy_v the_o secure_a mirth_n of_o a_o poor_a beggar_n see_v in_o the_o street_n these_o thing_n i_o muse_v and_o thou_o be_v with_o i_o i_o sigh_v unto_o thou_o and_o thou_o hear_v i_o i_o wave_v to_o and_o fro_o and_o yet_o thou_o do_v steer_v i_o i_o walk_v in_o the_o broad_a and_o tread_a way_n of_o this_o world_n yet_o thou_o do_v not_o desert_v i_o i_o pursue_v after_o honour_n wealth_n marriage_n and_o thou_o smile_v at_o i_o and_o i_o undergo_v in_o these_o my_o lust_n most_o bitter_a cross_n and_o thou_o be_v the_o more_o kind_a to_o i_o the_o more_o unsweet_a thou_o make_v all_o that_o to_o i_o which_o be_v not_o thou_o see_v my_o heart_n o_o lord_n thou_o who_o pleasure_n it_o be_v i_o shall_v now_o recollect_v theâ—e_n thing_n and_o confess_v they_o before_o thou_o and_o let_v my_o soul_n now_o adhere_v unto_o thou_o after_o it_o have_v be_v from_o that_o tenacious_a birdlime_n of_o death_n so_o rescue_v by_o thou_o in_o what_o a_o miserable_a condition_n be_v it_o at_o that_o time_n and_o thou_o continue_v to_o prick_v and_o chafe_v the_o sensibleness_n of_o its_o wound_n that_o leave_v all_o thing_n it_o may_v return_v unto_o thou_o who_o be_v above_o all_o thing_n and_o without_o who_o all_o thing_n will_v be_v nothing_o at_o all_o that_o it_o may_v return_v and_o so_o be_v heal_v how_o miserable_a be_v i_o then_o and_o how_o do_v thou_o advance_v the_o sense_n of_o that_o my_o misery_n upon_o a_o time_n when_o prepare_v in_o praise_n of_o the_o emperor_n a_o panegyric_n full_a of_o lie_n and_o yet_o applaud_v by_o those_o who_o know_v they_o to_o be_v so_o my_o heart_n tremble_v with_o restless_a care_n and_o burn_v in_o a_o fever_n of_o consume_a thought_n as_o i_o pass_v through_o a_o certain_a street_n of_o milan_n i_o happen_v to_o cast_v my_o eye_n upon_o a_o poor_a beggar_n with_o his_o belly_n well_o fill_v as_o i_o suppose_v who_o be_v very_o jocund_a and_o full_a of_o mirth_n who_o see_v i_o fetch_v a_o great_a sigh_n and_o begin_v to_o discourse_v with_o my_o friend_n then_o with_o i_o the_o many_o sorrow_n and_o suffering_n of_o our_o vain_a folly_n for_o we_o seek_v no_o more_o with_o all_o our_o labour_n such_o as_o that_o i_o then_o travail_v with_o whilst_z prick_v forward_o by_o the_o goad_n of_o my_o ambibition_n i_o draw_v after_o i_o a_o heavy_a load_n of_o my_o own_o infelicity_n and_o in_o draw_v it_o on_o still_o augment_v it_o we_o seek_v i_o say_v no_o more_o than_o to_o arrive_v at_o a_o secure_a mirth_n void_a of_o care_n *_o in_o which_o that_o poor_a beggar_n have_v already_o prevent_v we_o and_o *_o to_o which_o perhaps_o we_o shall_v never_o attain_v for_o what_o he_o have_v already_o gain_v with_o a_o few_o penny_n and_o those_o get_v by_o beg_v that_o be_v i_o still_o toil_v for_o through_o so_o many_o wind_a and_o difficult_a path_n namely_o the_o pleasure_n of_o a_o temporal_a felicity_n it_o be_v grant_v that_o this_o be_v no_o true_a pleasure_n which_o he_o have_v but_o yet_o i_o in_o my_o ambition_n pursue_v a_o much_o false_a and_o sure_o merry_a he_o be_v whilst_o i_o perplex_v he_o in_o security_n whilst_o i_o in_o fear_n and_o the_o question_n be_v ask_v which_o be_v the_o better_a mirth_n or_o fear_v i_o shall_v have_v answer_v mirth_n doubtless_o yet_o be_v demand_v again_o which_o i_o will_v rather_o choose_v he_o or_o my_o own_o condition_n i_o shall_v have_v elect_v my_o own_o lade_v with_o care_n and_o fear_n as_o it_o be_v but_o this_o only_a out_o of_o a_o perverseness_n for_o be_v there_o any_o true_a reason_n for_o it_o for_o neither_o be_v i_o at_o all_o in_o this_o my_o choice_n to_o be_v prefer_v because_o the_o more_o learned_a since_o i_o joy_v not_o in_o it_o but_o in_o please_a man_n with_o it_o and_o not_o in_o teach_v they_o also_o with_o it_o but_o only_o in_o please_v they_o and_o therefore_o meanwhile_o thou_o do_v most_o just_o thus_o break_v my_o bone_n with_o the_o sâ—affe_n of_o thy_o severe_a discipline_n away_o with_o those_o therefore_o from_o my_o soul_n who_o say_v unto_o it_o that_o there_o be_v great_a difference_n what_o thing_n it_o be_v that_o one_o secular_o joy_n in_o drink_n be_v the_o cause_n of_o the_o beggar_n mirth_n glory_n be_v the_o object_n of_o i_o and_o what_o a_o glory_n be_v it_o o_o lord_n that_o be_v not_o in_o thou_o for_o as_o he_o be_v no_o true_a joy_n so_o neither_o be_v my_o true_a glory_n and_o much_o