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Word A Word B Word C Word D Occurrence Frequency Band MI MI Band Prominent
spirit_n holy_a love_n son_n 6,996 5 5.4915 4 false
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ID Title Author Corrected Date of Publication (TCP Date of Publication) STC Words Pages
A60157 Some account of the holy life and death of Mr. Henry Gearing, late citizen of London who departed this life January the 4th. 1693/4. Aged 61. By John Shower. The second edition. With the trial and character of a real Christian, collected out of his papers, for the examination of himself: from which several other particulars are added, for the instruction, encouragement, and imitation of Christians. 1699 (1699) Wing S3692; ESTC R221466 72,960 188

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a_o title_n to_o heaven_n or_o that_o we_o have_v not_o but_o pass_v not_o this_o sentence_n with_o self-flattery_n nor_o from_o melancholy_a terror_n and_o fear_n one_a not_o with_o self-flattery_n alas_o what_o will_v it_o profit_v we_o to_o think_v ourselves_o the_o child_n of_o god_n when_o we_o visible_o express_v the_o power_n of_o sin_n and_o satan_n in_o our_o life_n two_o on_o the_o other_o side_n pass_v not_o this_o sentence_n from_o melancholy_a unbelief_n terror_n and_o fear_n as_o the_o carnal_a man_n fail_v the_o former_a way_n so_o the_o tempt_a christian_n sometime_o fail_v this_o way_n in_o this_o case_n run_v we_o over_o our_o evidence_n again_o and_o again_o and_o proceed_v we_o from_o those_o that_o be_v more_o difficult_a to_o those_o that_o be_v more_o easy_a one_o sign_n perhaps_o may_v be_v more_o easy_o perceive_v than_o another_o and_o if_o we_o can_v but_o discover_v some_o yea_o if_o but_o one_o we_o may_v assure_o gather_v all_o the_o rest_n be_v there_o 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i_o do_v fall_v again_o to_o the_o work_n of_o self-trial_n by_o the_o forementioned_a particular_n and_o though_o i_o can_v full_o declare_v a_o positive_a answer_n to_o every_o question_n yet_o if_o my_o heart_n do_v not_o very_o much_o deceive_v i_o i_o can_v to_o most_o of_o they_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v i_o beg_v of_o god_n i_o may_v not_o be_v deceive_v it_o be_v some_o comfort_n to_o i_o where_o i_o can_v so_o full_o answer_v some_o of_o they_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v true_o say_v i_o most_o hearty_o desire_v it_o may_v be_v so_o with_o i_o and_o though_o grace_n be_v very_o weak_a in_o i_o which_o i_o hope_v i_o desire_v to_o be_v humble_v and_o mourn_v for_o yet_o i_o dare_v not_o deny_v god_n work_n in_o i_o i_o must_v not_o deny_v the_o day_n of_o small-thing_n but_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n must_v own_v sure_o there_o be_v something_o of_o good_a wrought_v in_o i_o by_o his_o holy_a spirit_n and_o my_o comfort_n be_v christ_n will_v not_o quench_v the_o smoke_a flax_n nor_o break_v the_o bruise_a reed_n mat._n 12._o 20._o i_o be_o not_o now_o affect_v with_o the_o discovery_n of_o my_o condition_n as_o i_o shall_v and_o do_v not_o find_v at_o present_a inward_a comfort_n in_o my_o soul_n i_o be_o and_o have_v be_v much_o under_o the_o withdrawing_n of_o god_n for_o a_o time_n by_o reason_n of_o my_o apostasy_n and_o backslide_n from_o he_o and_o not_o walk_v close_o with_o he_o yet_o i_o desire_v i_o hope_v to_o lament_v after_o the_o lord_n and_o not_o content_v myself_o till_o i_o again_o meet_v with_o he_o the_o lord_n give_v i_o grace_n to_o wait_v on_o he_o in_o a_o way_n of_o duty_n and_o to_o act_v grace_n though_o i_o want_v comfort_n o_o if_o i_o be_o but_o sincere_a and_o wait_v still_o upon_o god_n who_o can_v tell_v but_o he_o may_v return_v with_o comfort_n to_o my_o poor_a soul_n the_o lord_n help_v i_o to_o maintain_v faith_n and_o hop_v through_o christ_n though_o i_o sit_v in_o darkness_n and_o see_v no_o light_n yet_o to_o trust_v in_o the_o lord_n and_o stay_v myself_o on_o my_o god_n isa_n 50._o 10._o the_o lord_n help_v i_o now_o to_o walk_v answerable_a to_o the_o great_a thing_n he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o poor_a soul_n i_o desire_v and_o hope_v i_o may_v have_v recourse_n to_o this_o hereafter_o as_o i_o shall_v have_v need_n and_o that_o it_o may_v be_v of_o comfort_n to_o i_o for_o the_o time_n to_o come_v as_o mr._n ambrose_n advise_v his_o word_n be_v this_o record_n will_v be_v very_o useful_a to_o we_o hereafter_o if_o we_o find_v we_o have_v a_o work_n of_o grace_n in_o we_o what_o a_o help_n will_v it_o be_v against_o the_o next_o temptation_n to_o doubt_v and_o fear_n to_o go_v and_o read_v under_o our_o hand_n this_o record_n may_v we_o not_o think_v if_o at_o such_o a_o time_n i_o find_v the_o truth_n of_o grace_n be_v it_o not_o likely_a to_o be_v now_o the_o same_o and_o these_o doubt_n to_o come_v from_o the_o enemy_n of_o my_o peace_n yet_o trust_v not_o so_o to_o one_o discovery_n as_o to_o try_v no_o more_o especial_o if_o we_o have_v make_v any_o soul_n defection_n from_o christ_n and_o play_v the_o backslider_n see_v then_o that_o we_o renew_v the_o search_n again_o neither_o let_v this_o hinder_v we_o in_o the_o daily_a search_n of_o our_o way_n or_o of_o our_o increase_n in_o grace_n and_o fellowship_n with_o christ_n it_o be_v a_o ill_a sign_n and_o a_o desperate_a vile_a sin_n for_o a_o man_n when_o he_o think_v he_o have_v find_v himself_o gracious_a and_o in_o a_o happy_a state_n to_o let_v down_o his_o watch_n and_o grow_v negligent_a of_o his_o heart_n and_o way_n and_o scarce_o look_v after_o they_o any_o more_o neither_o shall_v we_o give_v over_o in_o discouragement_n if_o we_o can_v at_o once_o or_o twice_o or_o ten_o time_n try_v discover_v our_o case_n but_o follow_v it_o on_o till_o we_o have_v discover_v it_o if_o one_o hour_n or_o day_n will_v not_o do_v take_v another_o if_o one_o minister_n can_v direct_v we_o sufficient_o go_v to_o another_o the_o 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approach_v of_o death_n and_o judgement_n may_v revive_v our_o spirit_n and_o fill_v we_o with_o joy_n and_o not_o apale_fw-la we_o and_o fill_v we_o with_o amazement_n september_n the_o 19_o 1676._o find_v my_o heart_n very_o hard_a and_o dead_a of_o late_a and_o be_v still_o under_o the_o withdrawing_n of_o god_n but_o i_o bless_v god_n i_o hope_v sensible_a of_o it_o and_o desirous_a to_o wait_v upon_o he_o for_o discovery_n of_o his_o love_n and_o favour_n and_o to_o lament_v after_o he_o and_o seek_v he_o in_o his_o ordinance_n for_o i_o hope_v i_o can_v take_v up_o with_o duty_n without_o something_o
of_o god_n in_o it_o at_o least_o some_o quickning_n and_o drawing_n out_o of_o my_o heart_n after_o he_o in_o earnest_a desire_n and_o long_n and_o pant_n after_o he_o yet_o i_o be_o apt_a to_o be_v cast_v down_o my_o conscience_n be_v apt_a to_o accuse_v i_o that_o i_o do_v not_o my_o duty_n and_o be_o fearful_a lest_o death_n come_v of_o a_o sudden_a and_o find_v i_o unready_a and_o thereupon_o be_o great_o trouble_v and_o not_o know_v what_o to_o do_v methinks_v i_o will_v not_o be_v want_v in_o my_o duty_n and_o often_o pray_v that_o god_n will_v show_v i_o my_o duty_n and_o help_v i_o to_o do_v it_o yet_o when_o i_o think_v to_o go_v about_o any_o thing_n there_o come_v such_o a_o multitude_n of_o thing_n into_o my_o mind_n to_o do_v this_o and_o to_o do_v the_o other_o and_o all_o can_v be_v do_v together_o that_o i_o be_o sometime_o almost_o discourage_v and_o tempt_v to_o let_v all_o alone_a the_o lord_n in_o infinite_a mercy_n look_v upon_o i_o for_o christ_n sake_n and_o 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can_v sing_v in_o a_o prison_n but_o if_o there_o be_v but_o any_o fruit_n of_o faith_n that_o discover_v to_o thou_o thou_o be_v a_o believer_n though_o not_o a_o strong_a believer_n thou_o have_v cause_n ro_o rejoice_v now_o i_o hope_v my_o desire_n be_v to_o try_v myself_o by_o these_o mark_n of_o true_a faith_n follow_v the_o lord_n grant_v i_o may_v find_v they_o in_o my_o soul_n for_o christ_n sake_n one_a true_a faith_n may_v be_v know_v by_o the_o efficient_a or_o principal_a cause_n of_o it_o which_o be_v no_o other_o but_o the_o holy_a spirit_n of_o god_n all_o the_o angel_n in_o heaven_n and_o saint_n on_o earth_n can_v persuade_v my_o heart_n to_o believe_v till_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n draw_v my_o soul_n to_o jesus_n christ_n now_o have_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n draw_v thou_o to_o christ_n have_v you_o find_v the_o mighty_a power_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n overcome_v the_o pride_n and_o stubbornness_n of_o your_o will_n to_o make_v you_o willing_a to_o accept_v of_o christ_n on_o his_o own_o term_n then_o you_o have_v a_o true_a faith_n two_o true_a faith_n may_v be_v know_v by_o the_o manner_n of_o production_n the_o spirit_n of_o god_n have_v a_o previous_a or_o forego_v work_n upon_o the_o soul_n 1._o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n convince_v the_o sinner_n this_o go_v before_o believe_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n let_v a_o sinner_n see_v the_o inside_n of_o himself_o thou_o be_v a_o sinner_n say_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n so_o that_o the_o poor_a sinner_n see_v himself_o in_o a_o lose_a and_o undo_v condition_n in_o himself_o by_o reason_n of_o sin_n 2._o after_o convince_a the_o spirit_n of_o god_n humble_v the_o sinner_n he_o be_v humble_v to_o the_o dust_n this_o sorrow_n and_o humiliation_n be_v in_o some_o more_o in_o some_o less_o but_o in_o all_o there_o be_v so_o much_o sense_n of_o sin_n and_o misery_n as_o to_o drive_v the_o sinner_n out_o of_o himself_o and_o to_o let_v he_o see_v he_o must_v perish_v for_o ever_o without_o christ_n 3._o there_o be_v also_o a_o encourage_v work_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n have_v convince_v and_o humble_v the_o sinner_n he_o revive_v he_o by_o some_o heart-chearing_a consideration_n as_o 1._o that_o there_o be_v a_o christ_n a_o all-sufficient_a saviour_n by_o who_o he_o may_v be_v deliver_v from_o wrath_n to_o come_v 2._o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n make_v a_o particular_a proffer_n of_o christ_n and_o pardon_v and_o grace_n to_o he_o and_o tell_v he_o the_o promise_v of_o the_o gospel_n be_v make_v to_o he_o as_o well_o as_o other_o and_o that_o god_n invite_v he_o poor_a sinner_n and_o that_o there_o be_v mercy_n for_o he_o if_o he_o accept_v it_o 3._o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n do_v sometime_o secret_o whisper_v to_o the_o soul_n of_o a_o sinner_n by_o a_o voice_n within_o he_o invite_v he_o and_o draw_v he_o to_o come_v to_o christ_n come_v to_o i_o all_o you_o that_o labour_n and_o be_v heavy_a lade_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_v ho_o every_o one_o that_o thirst_v come_v to_o the_o water_n be_v thou_o a_o thirsty_a soul_n thou_o be_v he_o that_o be_v invite_v say_v the_o spirit_n of_o god_n therefore_o stand_v out_o no_o long_o 4._o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n do_v work_v faith_n by_o bow_v the_o will_n make_v it_o pliable_a to_o come_v and_o taste_v how_o good_a christ_n be_v well_o say_v the_o soul_n i_o be_o resolve_v to_o come_v to_o christ_n though_o i_o know_v not_o how_o i_o shall_v speed_v i_o will_v cast_v my_o soul_n into_o the_o arm_n of_o christ_n and_o if_o i_o sink_v i_o will_v sink_v with_o a_o saviour_n in_o my_o
sin_n especial_o of_o lie_v and_o steal_v and_o play_v upon_o the_o sabbath-day_n i_o delight_v to_o read_v the_o word_n of_o god_n and_o good_a book_n to_o other_o but_o i_o do_v not_o apply_v it_o to_o myself_o as_o when_o i_o read_v that_o scripture_n that_o except_o we_o repent_v we_o shall_v all_o perish_v except_o we_o be_v bear_v again_o we_o can_v see_v the_o kingdom_n of_o god_n that_o the_o wicked_a shall_v be_v turn_v into_o hell_n etc._n etc._n i_o think_v these_o do_v not_o concern_v i_o because_o i_o be_v guilty_a of_o no_o gross_a sin_n i_o reckon_v my_o condition_n be_v good_a and_o i_o be_v ready_a to_o pity_v other_o but_o i_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o the_o corruption_n and_o defilement_n of_o my_o nature_n i_o do_v not_o see_v the_o need_n of_o a_o change_n i_o be_v not_o sensible_a of_o my_o undo_a condition_n without_o christ_n i_o see_v not_o his_o excellency_n nor_o have_v any_o desire_n after_o he_o i_o know_v not_o upon_o what_o term_n i_o must_v take_v he_o if_o i_o will_v be_v save_v as_o to_o the_o outward_a duty_n of_o religion_n i_o live_v in_o the_o performance_n of_o many_o of_o they_o but_o as_o for_o the_o more_o inward_a and_o spiritual_a duty_n of_o christianity_n such_o as_o self-examination_n meditation_n self-denial_n mourn_v for_o sin_n and_o watch_v over_o my_o thought_n word_n and_o action_n strict_a observation_n of_o the_o lord_n day_n etc._n etc._n to_o these_o i_o be_v altogether_o a_o stranger_n thus_o i_o go_v on_o in_o rebellion_n against_o god_n have_v a_o form_n of_o godliness_n but_o deny_v the_o power_n and_o if_o god_n have_v then_o cut_v i_o off_o in_o my_o unregeneracy_n certain_o hellfire_n must_v have_v be_v my_o portion_n he_o may_v have_v swear_v in_o his_o wrath_n that_o i_o shall_v never_o enter_v into_o his_o rest_n o_o the_o wonderful_a patience_n and_o forbearance_n of_o the_o lord_n towards_o such_o a_o sinful_a creature_n it_o be_v a_o miracle_n of_o mercy_n i_o be_o yet_o on_o this_o side_n the_o grave_a and_o hell_n it_o be_v of_o the_o lord_n mercy_n that_o i_o be_o spare_v so_o long_o and_o that_o he_o give_v i_o space_n to_o repent_v that_o he_o shall_v afford_v i_o the_o mean_n of_o grace_n and_o send_v his_o holy_a spirit_n to_o strive_v with_o i_o and_o give_v i_o many_o conviction_n and_o all_o to_o reclaim_v i_o and_o bring_v i_o home_o to_o himself_o and_o that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o give_v i_o space_n to_o repent_v but_o a_o heart_n to_o repent_v that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o stand_v wait_v and_o knock_v at_o the_o door_n of_o my_o heart_n so_o many_o year_n call_v on_o i_o to_o repent_v but_o that_o he_o shall_v give_v i_o the_o grace_n of_o repentance_n this_o be_v undeserved_a love_n and_o distinguish_a mercy_n for_o i_o be_v dead_a in_o trespass_n and_o sin_n and_o have_v nothing_o but_o my_o misery_n to_o move_v his_o compassion_n i_o walk_v according_a to_o the_o course_n of_o this_o world_n i_o be_v insensible_a of_o my_o danger_n though_o ready_a to_o drop_v into_o hell_n every_o moment_n and_o i_o shall_v certain_o have_v perish_v have_v not_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o open_v my_o eye_n and_o to_o pluck_v i_o as_o a_o firebrand_n out_o of_o the_o burn_a and_o set_v i_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n for_o which_o i_o can_v never_o sufficient_o adore_v and_o praise_v his_o glorious_a grace_n in_o christ_n to_o i_o a_o vile_a sinful_a creature_n great_a be_v his_o mercy_n towards_o i_o for_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n from_o the_o low_a hell_n which_o make_v i_o say_v with_o david_n come_v and_o hear_v all_o you_o that_o fear_v the_o lord_n and_o i_o will_v declare_v what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n and_o the_o way_n and_o means_n whereby_o he_o be_v please_v to_o work_v upon_o my_o heart_n the_o manner_n of_o my_o conversion_n which_o i_o hope_n be_v true_a and_o real_a be_v as_o follow_v it_o please_v the_o lord_n by_o a_o sad_a providence_n viz._n the_o sickness_n at_o london_n to_o bring_v my_o uncle_n gearing_n and_o his_o family_n from_o thence_o to_o my_o father_n house_n where_o they_o continue_v about_o half_a a_o year_n my_o uncle_n be_v a_o good_a man_n i_o can_v not_o but_o take_v notice_n of_o his_o strict_a and_o circumspect_a walk_v and_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o i_o begin_v to_o think_v sure_o the_o way_n that_o i_o be_o in_o will_v never_o bring_v i_o to_o heaven_n i_o think_v i_o must_v live_v another_o manner_n of_o life_n if_o ever_o i_o will_v be_v save_v i_o have_v many_o conviction_n but_o there_o i_o stay_v but_o go_v no_o further_o i_o keep_v on_o in_o my_o former_a careless_a course_n when_o it_o please_v god_n to_o put_v a_o stop_n to_o the_o plague_n at_o london_n my_o uncle_n return_v with_o his_o family_n and_o i_o go_v with_o he_o and_o continue_v at_o his_o house_n about_o two_o month_n in_o which_o time_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o follow_v i_o with_o new_a conviction_n partly_o by_o the_o good_a example_n of_o my_o uncle_n partly_o by_o many_o excellent_a sermon_n which_o i_o hear_v when_o i_o be_v there_o so_o that_o i_o begin_v in_o good_a earnest_n to_o look_v after_o the_o salvation_n of_o my_o soul_n and_o to_o say_v with_o the_o gaoler_n what_o must_v i_o do_v to_o be_v save_v i_o begin_v to_o be_v very_o desirous_a to_o hear_v the_o word_n i_o take_v all_o opportunity_n to_o hear_v and_o give_v attention_n to_o what_o be_v preach_v after_o another_o manner_n than_o i_o be_v wont_a to_o do_v and_o labour_v to_o make_v application_n of_o it_o to_o myself_o i_o hear_v mr._n vincent_n preach_v upon_o heb._n 12._o 14._o follow_v holiness_n without_o which_o no_o man_n shall_v see_v the_o lord_n urge_v the_o necessity_n of_o it_o as_o the_o only_a way_n to_o heaven_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v therewith_o and_o begin_v to_o think_v i_o must_v set_v about_o the_o work_n of_o a_o thorough_a repentance_n i_o begin_v to_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o original_a corruption_n and_o that_o i_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o thousand_o of_o actual_a sin_n those_o which_o before_o i_o count_v small_a i_o now_o look_v upon_o as_o great_a and_o upon_o myself_o by_o reason_n of_o sin_n to_o be_v in_o a_o lamentable_a condition_n i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o get_v out_o of_o this_o sinful_a miserable_a state_n and_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o show_v i_o that_o there_o be_v no_o name_n under_o heaven_n by_o which_o i_o can_v be_v save_v but_o only_o by_o jesus_n christ_n i_o think_v if_o i_o can_v have_v a_o interest_n in_o he_o and_o his_o favour_n i_o shall_v be_v save_v but_o i_o fear_v god_n will_v not_o thus_o have_v mercy_n upon_o i_o because_o i_o have_v go_v on_o so_o long_o in_o sin_n i_o hear_v a_o excellent_a sermon_n upon_o mat._n 11._o 28._o come_v unto_o i_o all_o you_o that_o be_v weary_a and_o heavy_a load_v and_o i_o will_v give_v you_o rest_v prove_v first_o that_o sin_n be_v a_o burden_n and_o second_o that_o burden_a sinner_n be_v invite_v to_o come_v to_o christ_n and_o then_o that_o those_o that_o come_v to_o he_o shall_v find_v rest_n for_o their_o soul_n this_o be_v a_o suitable_a word_n to_o my_o soul_n i_o be_v much_o affect_v in_o the_o hear_n of_o in_o for_o i_o feel_v sin_n to_o be_v a_o burden_n no_o my_o conscience_n and_o i_o will_v fain_o have_v rest_n to_o my_o soul_n i_o be_v sensible_a of_o my_o want_n of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o of_o the_o absolute_a necessity_n to_o be_v interest_v in_o he_o i_o begin_v to_o see_v his_o worth_n and_o excellency_n as_o the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o altogether_o lovely_a and_o then_o and_o not_o till_o then_o i_o have_v hungering_n and_o thirsting_n after_o he_o so_o that_o i_o can_v say_v none_o but_o christ_n give_v i_o christ_n or_o else_o i_o die_v thus_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n by_o his_o spirit_n to_o work_v upon_o my_o heart_n by_o degree_n to_o open_v my_o eye_n and_o to_o let_v in_o some_o spiritual_a light_n into_o my_o understanding_n which_o be_v dark_a before_o and_o to_o give_v some_o spiritual_a life_n to_o my_o affection_n which_o be_v dead_a before_o but_o o_o the_o enemy_n that_o do_v then_o labour_n to_o hinder_v my_o conversion_n and_o stop_v this_o work_n the_o world_n by_o allurement_n and_o discouragement_n seek_v to_o keep_v i_o off_o from_o christ_n my_o own_o deceitful_a heart_n and_o corrupt_a disposition_n within_o i_o be_v no_o small_a enemy_n and_o hindrance_n to_o the_o work_n of_o grace_n in_o my_o soul_n the_o devil_n the_o great_a adversary_n of_o god_n glory_n and_o our_o happiness_n come_v like_o a_o roar_a lion_n ready_a to_o devour_v i_o so_o that_o i_o
happiness_n for_o ever_o and_o when_o i_o think_v of_o the_o torment_n of_o hell_n the_o fire_n that_o must_v never_o go_v out_o and_o the_o worm_n that_o shall_v never_o die_v this_o i_o look_v upon_o as_o the_o due_a desert_n of_o my_o sin_n and_o as_o my_o portion_n i_o have_v renounce_v all_o my_o own_o righteousness_n i_o can_v see_v nothing_o in_o myself_o but_o what_o deserve_a hell_n i_o wonder_v at_o the_o patience_n of_o god_n to_o i_o i_o can_v justify_v he_o though_o he_o shall_v damn_v i_o i_o think_v myself_o unworthy_a to_o eat_v or_o drink_v or_o breathe_v or_o tread_v upon_o the_o earth_n i_o look_v every_o day_n when_o god_n will_v glorify_v himself_o in_o my_o damnation_n but_o this_o i_o keep_v to_o myself_o though_o other_o can_v not_o but_o take_v notice_n of_o the_o sadness_n of_o my_o spirit_n and_o wonder_v at_o it_o yet_o i_o do_v not_o tell_v any_o how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o my_o heart_n be_v very_o full_a and_o i_o long_v to_o vent_v it_o but_o i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o god_n i_o dare_v not_o go_v be_v conscious_a of_o my_o own_o vileness_n i_o be_v ashamed_a to_o make_v know_v my_o condition_n to_o man_n it_o be_v so_o bad_a i_o think_v none_o ever_o have_v such_o blasphemous_a thought_n as_o i_o have_v i_o wish_v some_o of_o the_o saint_n do_v know_v my_o condition_n that_o they_o may_v direct_v i_o and_o pray_v for_o i_o but_o i_o can_v not_o tell_v to_o who_o to_o apply_v myself_o thus_o be_v i_o in_o perplexity_n toss_v to_o and_o fro_o and_o not_o comfort_v and_o though_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o uphold_v i_o and_o keep_v i_o from_o fall_v into_o the_o pit_n of_o despair_n yet_o i_o be_v very_o near_o it_o i_o be_v encompass_v about_o with_o so_o many_o and_o great_a temptation_n and_o they_o come_v so_o strong_a upon_o i_o that_o i_o can_v not_o hold_v out_o any_o long_a to_o conceal_v my_o trouble_n then_o the_o lord_n put_v it_o into_o my_o mind_n to_o acquaint_v my_o uncle_n gearing_n with_o my_o sad_a condition_n but_o the_o devil_n endeavour_v all_o he_o can_v to_o hinder_v it_o by_o persuade_v i_o that_o it_o be_v a_o foolish_a thing_n to_o declare_v my_o wickedness_n to_o one_o that_o be_v so_o holy_a that_o i_o shall_v but_o purchase_v his_o ill_a opinion_n of_o i_o and_o cause_v he_o to_o hate_v and_o abhor_v i_o and_o do_v myself_o no_o good_a at_o all_o by_o tell_v he_o of_o it_o yet_o still_o i_o have_v a_o desire_n to_o do_v it_o and_o i_o have_v no_o rest_n in_o my_o spirit_n till_o i_o have_v do_v it_o but_o sometime_o i_o want_v a_o opportunity_n and_o sometime_o when_o i_o will_v have_v speak_v i_o can_v not_o but_o at_o last_o a_o fit_a opportunity_n be_v present_v upon_o a_o sabbath-day_n night_n all_o be_v in_o bed_n except_o my_o uncle_n and_o myself_o i_o be_v resolve_v to_o open_v my_o heart_n free_o to_o he_o when_o i_o begin_v to_o speak_v my_o mouth_n be_v as_o it_o be_v stop_v but_o with_o tremble_v i_o force_v myself_o to_o speak_v and_o make_v know_v my_o sad_a condition_n i_o tell_v he_o what_o grievous_a blasphemous_a thought_n i_o have_v and_o that_o i_o be_v afraid_a i_o have_v commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n and_o think_v therefore_o i_o shall_v certain_o be_v damn_v and_o have_v no_o hope_n of_o salvation_n but_o i_o desire_v his_o prayer_n for_o i_o and_o his_o advice_n in_o a_o matter_n of_o such_o consequence_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o affect_v his_o heart_n with_o my_o condition_n he_o tell_v i_o it_o be_v not_o my_o sin_n to_o be_v tempt_v if_o i_o do_v not_o yield_v to_o the_o temptation_n and_o therefore_o it_o shall_v not_o drive_v i_o to_o despair_v of_o god_n mercy_n he_o say_v it_o be_v a_o sign_n i_o have_v not_o commit_v the_o sin_n against_o the_o holy_a ghost_n because_o i_o be_v afraid_a i_o have_v commit_v it_o he_o speak_v much_o of_o the_o gracious_a nature_n of_o god_n and_o of_o his_o willingness_n to_o save_v sinner_n and_o as_o i_o remember_v he_o tell_v i_o of_o many_o and_o great_a sinner_n in_o scripture_n to_o who_o god_n have_v show_v mercy_n as_o manasseh_n and_o mary_n magdalen_n and_o the_o thief_n upon_o the_o cross_n he_o also_o direct_v i_o to_o many_o sweet_a promise_n in_o scripture_n but_o that_o especial_o which_o be_v never_o to_o be_v forget_v ezek._n 36._o 25_o 26._o then_o will_v i_o sprinkle_v clean_a water_n upon_o you_o and_o you_o shall_v be_v clean_o from_o all_o your_o filthiness_n and_o from_o all_o your_o idol_n will_v i_o cleanse_v you_o a_o new_a heart_n also_o will_v i_o give_v you_o and_o a_o new_a spirit_n will_v i_o put_v within_o you_o etc._n etc._n he_o tell_v i_o every_o one_o may_v lay_v hold_n on_o this_o promise_n when_o he_o read_v these_o scripture_n to_o i_o my_o heart_n rejoice_v and_o i_o begin_v to_o hope_n god_n will_v pardon_v i_o and_o give_v i_o a_o new_a heart_n and_o cause_v i_o to_o walk_v in_o his_o way_n he_o also_o give_v i_o very_o good_a counsel_n particular_o to_o be_v constant_a in_o the_o excellent_a duty_n of_o secret_a prayer_n and_o tell_v i_o the_o great_a benefit_n i_o shall_v find_v thereby_o etc._n etc._n now_o have_v make_v know_v my_o condition_n and_o declare_v my_o trouble_n and_o hear_v these_o gracious_a promise_n to_o poor_a sinner_n i_o find_v some_o ease_n and_o satisfaction_n in_o my_o mind_n and_o the_o beginning_n of_o comfort_n in_o my_o soul_n i_o resolve_v to_o put_v these_o duty_n in_o practice_n secret_a prayer_n self-examination_n meditation_n etc._n etc._n but_o i_o be_v altogether_o a_o stranger_n to_o these_o inward_a heart-duty_n i_o know_v not_o how_o to_o perform_v they_o as_o i_o ought_v how_o many_o time_n have_v i_o kneel_v down_o to_o pray_v and_o know_v not_o what_o to_o say_v but_o want_v not_o sigh_n and_o tear_n and_o so_o my_o necessity_n and_o the_o sense_n of_o my_o vileness_n my_o earnest_n desire_v after_o christ_n and_o his_o grace_n put_v word_n into_o my_o mouth_n though_o my_o duty_n be_v miserable_o lame_a and_o defective_a yet_o they_o be_v perform_v with_o much_o earnestness_n and_o importunity_n and_o i_o think_v i_o may_v say_v in_o sincerity_n sure_o then_o my_o heart_n be_v in_o every_o word_n and_o in_o every_o duty_n i_o do_v not_o then_o dally_v with_o god_n i_o be_v in_o good_a earnest_n for_o my_o soul_n and_o that_o promise_v be_v comfortable_a to_o i_o if_o there_o be_v first_o a_o willing_a mind_n it_o be_v accept_v with_o god_n etc._n etc._n i_o find_v that_o scripture_n make_v good_a to_o i_o then_o shall_v we_o know_v if_o we_o follow_v on_o to_o know_v the_o lord_n and_o that_o in_o isa_n 40._o 16._o i_o will_v bring_v the_o blind_a by_o the_o way_n that_o they_o know_v not_o i_o will_v make_v darkness_n light_a before_o they_o and_o crooked_a thing_n straight_o these_o thing_n will_v i_o do_v unto_o they_o and_o not_o forsake_v they_o say_v the_o lord_n these_o and_o such_o scripture_n be_v sweet_a and_o i_o begin_v to_o search_v the_o bible_n to_o find_v they_o and_o when_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o set_v they_o home_o upon_o my_o heart_n they_o be_v as_o cordial_n many_o time_n to_o my_o faint_a soul_n but_o though_o i_o have_v some_o comfort_n and_o support_v yet_o be_v i_o not_o free_a from_o temptation_n and_o trouble_v of_o mind_n my_o spiritual_a enemy_n strive_v hard_a to_o hinder_v my_o godly_a course_n and_o turn_v i_o from_o it_o have_v not_o the_o lord_n be_v strong_a than_o they_o my_o sin_n be_v a_o heavy_a burden_n to_o i_o and_o i_o have_v earnest_a desire_n after_o christ_n yet_o i_o find_v it_o very_o hard_a to_o believe_v satan_n labour_v to_o persuade_v i_o that_o i_o be_v not_o elect_v to_o salvation_n and_o therefore_o whatever_o i_o do_v i_o shall_v never_o be_v save_v this_o be_v no_o small_a trouble_n to_o my_o spirit_n but_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o direct_v i_o to_o a_o book_n in_o which_o i_o find_v much_o satisfaction_n concern_v this_o matter_n then_o satan_n tell_v i_o he_o that_o believe_v not_o shall_v be_v damn_v and_o therefore_o because_o i_o be_v full_a of_o unbelief_n and_o doubt_v i_o be_v condemn_v already_o but_o when_o i_o be_v in_o great_a trouble_n about_o this_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o cast_v in_o this_o scripture_n if_o we_o believe_v not_o yet_o he_o abide_v faithful_a he_o can_v deny_v himself_o this_o do_v very_o much_o support_v i_o and_o so_o do_v these_o follow_a promise_n which_o i_o have_v not_o take_v notice_n of_o before_o nor_o apply_v to_o myself_o isa_n 55._o 1._o and_o all_o this_o chapter_n and_o mat._n 11._o 28._o joh._n 7._o 37._o rev._n 22._o 17._o joh._n 3._o 16._o
mat._n 7._o 7._o psal_n 30._o 18._o joh._n 16._o 24._o psal_n 84._o 11._o isa_n 40._o 27._o psal_n 27._o 14._o lament_n 3._o 24_o 25_o 26._o psal_n 147._o 11._o psal_n 26._o 3_o 4._o isa_n 50._o 10._o isa_n 41._o 10._o isa_n 43._o 24_o 25._o isa_n 44._o 22._o 1_o joh._n 1._o 9_o 1_o joh._n 2._o 1._o mark_v 1._o 18_o 19_o rom._n 6._o 14._o ezek._n 34._o 6._o psal_n 103._o 8_o 9_o job_n 17._o 9_o prov._n 4._o 18._o phil._n 1._o 6._o joh._n 10._o 7._o rom._n 16._o 20._o heb._n 4._o 15._o these_o promise_n with_o many_o more_o be_v the_o lord_n please_v to_o give_v i_o in_o the_o time_n of_o my_o distress_n and_o trouble_v of_o spirit_n and_o i_o find_v they_o revive_v cordial_n o_o how_o welcome_a be_v a_o promise_n to_o i_o when_o i_o have_v be_v ready_a to_o despair_v and_o to_o give_v up_o all_o for_o lose_v and_o have_v nothing_o to_o support_v i_o then_o do_v i_o take_v the_o bible_n into_o my_o hand_n and_o desire_v god_n to_o direct_v some_o suitable_a promise_n to_o i_o and_o open_v the_o bible_n the_o first_o place_n i_o have_v cast_v my_o eye_n upon_o have_v often_o be_v a_o precious_a and_o suitable_a promise_n and_o have_v be_v set_v home_o with_o such_o power_n as_o wonderful_o to_o comfort_v i_o once_o be_v under_o great_a fear_n and_o terror_n i_o open_v the_o bible_n and_o the_o first_o place_n i_o fix_v my_o eye_n upon_o be_v isa_n 54._o 4._o fear_v not_o for_o thou_o shall_v not_o be_v confound_v nor_o put_v to_o shame_n thou_o shall_v forget_v the_o shame_n of_o thy_o youth_n thy_o maker_n be_v thy_o husband_n the_o lord_n of_o host_n be_v his_o name_n and_o thy_o redeemer_n the_o holy_a one_o of_o israel_n the_o god_n of_o the_o whole_a earth_n shall_v he_o be_v call_v for_o the_o lord_n have_v call_v thou_o as_o a_o woman_n forsake_v and_o grieve_v in_o spirit_n etc._n etc._n for_o a_o small_a moment_n have_v i_o forsake_v thou_o but_o with_o great_a mercy_n will_v i_o gather_v thou_o in_o a_o little_a wrath_n i_o hide_v my_o face_n for_o a_o moment_n but_o with_o everlasting_a kindness_n will_v i_o have_v mercy_n on_o thou_o say_v the_o lord_n thy_o redeemer_n etc._n etc._n i_o be_v wonderful_o affect_v in_o the_o read_n these_o sweet_a promise_n and_o take_v it_o as_o a_o voice_n from_o heaven_n to_o i_o because_o i_o have_v desire_v some_o such_o suitable_a promise_n at_o another_o time_n be_v in_o great_a trouble_n and_o fear_v i_o shall_v never_o hold_v out_o but_o be_v overcome_v by_o sin_n and_o satan_n i_o open_v my_o bible_n and_o the_o first_o place_n i_o fix_v my_o eye_n upon_o be_v isa_n 41._o 10._o fear_v not_o for_o i_o be_o with_o thou_o be_v not_o dismay_v for_o i_o be_o thy_o god_n i_o will_v strengthen_v thou_o yea_o i_o will_v help_v thou_o yea_o will_v uphold_v thou_o with_o the_o right_a hand_n of_o my_o righteousness_n i_o can_v express_v the_o comfort_n i_o receive_v by_o this_o suitable_a and_o seasonable_a promise_n one_o sabbath-day_n night_n be_v still_o follow_v with_o temptation_n full_a of_o unbelieve_a doubt_n and_o fear_n i_o be_v much_o trouble_v about_o it_o that_o i_o who_o have_v receive_v such_o great_a mercy_n shall_v have_v such_o vain_a thought_n and_o be_v so_o full_a of_o unbelief_n notwithstanding_o the_o experience_n i_o have_v of_o god_n goodness_n and_o mercy_n to_o i_o and_o the_o assurance_n i_o have_v before_o of_o his_o love_n i_o be_v tempt_v to_o think_v that_o i_o be_v not_o elect_v and_o that_o therefore_o all_o i_o do_v be_v to_o no_o purpose_n and_o that_o i_o shall_v never_o be_v save_v this_o be_v a_o subtle_a and_o strong_a temptation_n satan_n do_v not_o only_a labour_n to_o drive_v i_o off_o from_o all_o duty_n but_o to_o weaken_v my_o faith_n and_o bring_v i_o to_o despair_n but_o the_o lord_n who_o have_v many_o time_n before_o wonderful_o rescue_v i_o from_o the_o roar_a lion_n will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v foil_v by_o he_o but_o be_v please_v to_o present_v that_o scripture_n to_o my_o eye_n there_o be_v no_o temptation_n have_v take_v you_o but_o such_o as_o be_v common_a to_o man_n and_o god_n be_v faithful_a who_o will_v not_o suffer_v you_o to_o be_v tempt_v above_o what_o you_o be_v able_a but_o will_v with_o the_o temptation_n make_v a_o way_n to_o escape_v that_o you_o may_v be_v able_a to_o bear_v it_o at_o another_o time_n be_v great_o trouble_v with_o unbelief_n that_o place_n in_o the_o revelation_n be_v terrible_a to_o i_o the_o fearful_a and_o unbelieving_a shall_v have_v their_o part_n in_o the_o lake_n that_o burn_v with_o fire_n and_o brimstone_n which_o be_v the_o second_o death_n this_o make_v i_o exceed_o afraid_a i_o think_v if_o the_o fearful_a and_o unbelieve_a shall_v perish_v then_o sure_o i_o shall_v because_o i_o be_v so_o full_a of_o fear_n and_o doubt_n and_o unbelief_n but_o the_o lord_n do_v not_o leave_v i_o in_o this_o great_a streight_n he_o will_v not_o suffer_v i_o to_o be_v overwhelm_v with_o sorrow_n but_o quick_o direct_v i_o to_o a_o suitable_a and_o seasonable_a scripture_n that_o be_v as_o comfortable_a as_o the_o other_o be_v terrible_a 2_o tim._n 2._o 13._o if_o we_o believe_v not_o yet_o be_v abide_v faithful_a he_o can_v deny_v himself_o this_o promise_n be_v very_o sweet_a and_o suitable_a to_o my_o present_a condition_n neither_o do_v i_o remember_v there_o be_v such_o a_o place_n before_o these_o and_o many_o of_o the_o forenamed_a promise_n be_v give_v i_o in_o my_o trouble_n and_o distress_n and_o the_o lord_n enable_v i_o by_o his_o spirit_n to_o make_v application_n of_o they_o to_o my_o own_o soul_n for_o my_o consolation_n certain_o i_o may_v say_v with_o david_n i_o have_v faint_v unless_o i_o have_v believe_v to_o see_v the_o goodness_n of_o the_o lord_n in_o the_o land_n of_o the_o live_n the_o sorrow_n of_o death_n do_v compass_v i_o about_o and_o the_o pain_n of_o hell_n get_v hold_v upon_o i_o i_o find_v trouble_n and_o sorrow_n then_o call_v i_o upon_o the_o name_n of_o the_o lord_n o_o lord_n i_o beseech_v thou_o deliver_v my_o soul_n gracious_a be_v the_o lord_n and_o righteous_a yea_o our_o god_n be_v merciful_a i_o be_v bring_v low_a and_o he_o help_v i_o return_v unto_o thy_o rest_n o_o my_o soul_n for_o the_o lord_n have_v deal_v bountiful_o with_o thou_o in_o the_o multitude_n of_o my_o thought_n within_o i_o thy_o comfort_n delight_v my_o soul_n in_o the_o day_n when_o i_o cry_v thou_o answer_v i_o and_o strengthen_v i_o with_o strength_n in_o my_o soul_n blessed_n be_v the_o lord_n because_o he_o have_v hear_v the_o voice_n of_o my_o supplication_n the_o lord_n be_v my_o strength_n and_o my_o song_n my_o heart_n trust_v in_o he_o and_o i_o be_o help_v if_o it_o have_v not_o be_v the_o lord_n who_o have_v be_v on_o my_o side_n when_o satan_n rise_v up_o against_o i_o he_o have_v sure_o swallow_v i_o up_o the_o lord_n have_v call_v i_o out_o of_o darkness_n into_o his_o marvellous_a light_n he_o have_v pluck_v i_o as_o a_o firebrand_n out_o of_o hell_n and_o set_v i_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n so_o that_o i_o may_v say_v again_o and_o again_o great_a be_v his_o mercy_n towards_o i_o for_o he_o have_v deliver_v my_o soul_n from_o the_o low_a hell_n but_o o_o why_o be_v it_o that_o i_o be_o so_o little_a sensible_a of_o this_o great_a deliverance_n how_o can_v i_o look_v back_o upon_o all_o this_o without_o admire_v the_o free_a grace_n and_o undeserved_a love_n of_o god_n towards_o such_o a_o worthless_a worm_n as_o i_o who_o be_v a_o enemy_n to_o he_o and_o a_o rebel_n against_o he_o and_o have_v nothing_o in_o i_o but_o what_o deserve_a hell_n o_o that_o ever_o the_o lord_n shall_v from_o eternity_n elect_a and_o choose_v i_o to_o salvation_n through_o jesus_n christ_n that_o god_n shall_v pass_v by_o thousand_o and_o let_v they_o alone_o to_o perish_v in_o their_o sin_n and_o cast_v a_o look_v of_o love_n upon_o i_o and_o when_o i_o be_v in_o my_o blood_n say_v unto_o i_o live_v that_o he_o shall_v not_o only_o give_v his_o son_n for_o i_o but_o to_o i_o that_o he_o shall_v take_v i_o with_o the_o prodigal_n from_o the_o trough_n and_o with_o the_o beggar_n from_o the_o dunghill_n and_o make_v i_o a_o heir_n of_o glory_n when_o i_o read_v that_o christ_n flock_n be_v but_o a_o little_a flock_n and_o that_o straight_o be_v the_o gate_n and_o narrow_a be_v the_o way_n that_o lead_v to_o life_n and_o few_o there_o be_v that_o find_v it_o i_o can_v but_o wonder_v that_o i_o shall_v be_v in_o that_o number_n and_o because_o i_o can_v sufficient_o admire_v i_o will_v therefore_o adore_v my_o good_a god_n but_o what_o return_v shall_v i_o
now_o make_v to_o the_o lord_n for_o all_o this_o mercy_n of_o myself_o i_o be_o not_o able_a to_o think_v a_o good_a thought_n it_o be_v unlikely_a than_o i_o shall_v make_v any_o suitable_a return_n i_o have_v nothing_o of_o my_o own_o but_o sin_n and_o that_o be_v god_n enemy_n which_o he_o perfect_o hate_v i_o be_o not_o my_o own_o for_o i_o be_o buy_v with_o a_o price_n therefore_o if_o i_o give_v myself_o to_o he_o it_o be_v but_o that_o which_o be_v his_o own_o before_o yet_o this_o will_v i_o do_v because_o i_o have_v nothing_o else_o to_o give_v i_o will_v give_v my_o soul_n and_o body_n to_o be_v the_o lord_n expect_v acceptance_n only_o for_o the_o sake_n and_o merit_n of_o jesus_n christ_n sure_o god_n require_v nothing_o of_o i_o but_o what_o he_o have_v first_o give_v to_o i_o all_o that_o he_o require_v be_v but_o the_o reflection_n of_o his_o love_n back_o again_o when_o i_o have_v have_v the_o comfort_n of_o it_o o_o what_o thanks_o and_o praise_n shall_v i_o render_v to_o the_o lord_n and_o say_v with_o david_n bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n and_o all_o that_o be_v within_o i_o bless_v his_o holy_a name_n bless_v the_o lord_n o_o my_o soul_n and_o forget_v not_o all_o his_o benefit_n he_o forgive_v all_o thy_o iniquity_n etc._n etc._n thou_o be_v my_o god_n and_o i_o will_v praise_v thou_o thou_o be_v my_o god_n and_o i_o will_v extol_v thou_o o_o give_v thanks_o unto_o the_o lord_n for_o he_o be_v good_a for_o his_o mercy_n endure_v for_o ever_o for_o he_o satisfy_v the_o long_a soul_n and_o fill_v the_o hungry_a with_o good_a thing_n i_o will_v bless_v the_o lord_n at_o all_o time_n and_o his_o praise_n shall_v be_v continual_o in_o my_o mouth_n i_o will_v love_v the_o lord_n because_o he_o have_v hear_v the_o voice_n of_o my_o supplication_n because_o he_o have_v incline_v his_o ear_n unto_o i_o therefore_o will_v i_o call_v upon_o he_o as_o long_o as_o i_o live_v i_o will_v extol_v thou_o my_o god_n o_o king_n i_o will_v bless_v thy_o name_n for_o ever_o and_o ever_o i_o will_v praise_v the_o lord_n while_o i_o live_v i_o will_v sing_v praise_n to_o my_o god_n while_o i_o have_v any_o be_v and_o now_o when_o i_o look_v back_o upon_o this_o i_o can_v but_o rejoice_v in_o the_o lord_n and_o joy_n in_o the_o god_n of_o my_o salvation_n because_o i_o hope_v i_o have_v go_v through_o the_o pang_n of_o the_o new_a birth_n and_o true_o enter_v in_o at_o the_o strait_a gate_n and_o be_o now_o go_v the_o narrow_a way_n that_o lead_v to_o eternal_a life_n which_o i_o hope_v to_o obtain_v through_o the_o merit_n of_o jesus_n christ_n my_o saviour_n and_o again_o when_o i_o reflect_v and_o look_v back_o upon_o all_o these_o thing_n what_o cause_n have_v i_o to_o bewail_v the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n and_o the_o state_n of_o my_o unregeneracy_n which_o be_v spend_v in_o sin_n and_o vanity_n and_o in_o those_o thing_n wherein_o there_o be_v no_o profit_n if_o god_n shall_v remember_v against_o i_o the_o sin_n of_o my_o youth_n he_o may_v write_v bitter_a thing_n against_o i_o if_o i_o shall_v live_v the_o age_n of_o methusalah_n and_o spend_v all_o my_o time_n in_o weep_v the_o tear_n of_o my_o life_n to_o come_v be_v not_o sufficient_a to_o bewail_v the_o sin_n of_o my_o life_n past_a o_o what_o do_v i_o lose_v when_o i_o enjoy_v no_o communion_n with_o god_n how_o much_o rich_a might_n i_o have_v be_v in_o grace_n and_o holiness_n and_o i_o set_v out_o in_o the_o way_n to_o heaven_n soon_o but_o this_o be_v my_o comfort_n though_o i_o do_v not_o come_v in_o at_o the_o first_o hour_n yet_o i_o do_v not_o stay_v till_o the_o last_o this_o be_v the_o lord_n mercy_n but_o my_o sin_n before_o conversion_n be_v not_o all_o the_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v to_o mourn_v for_o but_o the_o sin_n which_o i_o have_v be_v guilty_a of_o since_o and_o in_o some_o measure_n my_o sin_n be_v great_a since_o than_o they_o be_v before_o for_o i_o have_v now_o sin_v against_o clear_a light_n dear_a love_n more_o manifestation_n of_o god_n goodness_n more_o experience_n of_o his_o kindness_n more_o resolution_n to_o obey_v he_o great_a obligation_n to_o serve_v he_o so_o that_o i_o be_o ashamed_a to_o think_v how_o unthankful_a my_o walk_n have_v be_v since_o the_o lord_n have_v give_v i_o some_o desire_n to_o serve_v he_o some_o care_n to_o please_v he_o and_o some_o fear_n to_o offend_v he_o when_o he_o be_v please_v first_o to_o lift_v up_o the_o light_n of_o his_o countenance_n upon_o i_o and_o speak_v peace_n to_o my_o soul_n after_o so_o many_o temptation_n and_o trouble_v of_o conscience_n then_o i_o do_v not_o only_o serve_v he_o with_o joy_n and_o thankfulness_n but_o also_o with_o life_n and_o vigour_n o_o how_o be_v my_o heart_n affect_v with_o spiritual_a thing_n when_o i_o pray_v it_o be_v with_o sense_n and_o feel_v it_o be_v not_o only_o in_o word_n but_o i_o pour_v out_o my_o soul_n before_o the_o lord_n when_o i_o hear_v the_o word_n of_o god_n how_o do_v i_o hear_v as_o for_o my_o life_n and_o perform_v every_o duty_n as_o for_o eternity_n i_o do_v not_o look_v upon_o duty_n mere_o as_o a_o task_n but_o account_v it_o a_o great_a privilege_n to_o draw_v nigh_o to_o god_n in_o the_o way_n of_o his_o appointment_n i_o find_v it_o be_v not_o in_o vain_a to_o seek_v he_o i_o be_v even_o fill_v with_o the_o admiration_n of_o his_o love_n and_o the_o consolation_n of_o the_o spirit_n and_o my_o heart_n be_v enlarge_v and_o run_v the_o way_n of_o his_o commandment_n with_o great_a delight_n and_o comfort_n i_o can_v say_v with_o the_o church_n as_o the_o appletree_n among_o the_o tree_n of_o the_o wood_n so_o be_v my_o belove_a jesus_n to_o my_o soul_n i_o sit_v down_o under_o his_o shadow_n with_o great_a delight_n and_o his_o fruit_n be_v sweet_a unto_o my_o taste_n i_o can_v in_o some_o measure_n say_v with_o david_n as_o the_o hart_n pant_v after_o the_o water-brook_n so_o pant_v my_o soul_n after_o thou_o o_o god_n my_o soul_n thirst_v for_o god_n for_o the_o live_a god_n when_o shall_v i_o come_v and_o appear_v before_o god_n o_o god_n thou_o be_v my_o god_n early_o will_v i_o seek_v thou_o my_o flesh_n long_v for_o thou_o in_o a_o dry_a and_o thirsty_a land_n where_o no_o water_n be_v how_o amiable_a be_v thy_o tabernacle_n o_o lord_n of_o host_n my_o soul_n long_v yea_o even_o faint_v for_o the_o court_n of_o the_o lord_n for_o a_o day_n in_o thy_o court_n be_v better_a than_o a_o thousand_o etc._n etc._n my_o soul_n wait_v for_o god_n from_o who_o come_v my_o salvation_n he_o only_o be_v my_o rock_n and_o my_o salvation_n he_o be_v my_o defence_n i_o shall_v not_o be_v great_o move_v in_o god_n be_v my_o salvation_n and_o my_o glory_n the_o rock_n of_o my_o strength_n and_o my_o refuge_n be_v in_o god_n because_o thy_o lovingkindness_n be_v better_a than_o life_n my_o lip_n shall_v praise_v thou_o my_o soul_n shall_v be_v satisfy_v as_o with_o marrow_n and_o fatness_n and_o my_o mouth_n shall_v praise_v thou_o with_o joyful_a li_n with_o my_o whole_a heart_n have_v i_o seek_v thou_o o_o lord_n let_v i_o not_o wander_v from_o thy_o commandment_n thou_o be_v my_o portion_n o_o lord_n i_o have_v say_v i_o will_v keep_v thy_o precept_n for_o with_o they_o thou_o have_v quicken_v i_o o_o how_o love_v i_o thy_o law_n it_o be_v my_o meditation_n all_o the_o day_n how_o sweet_a be_v thy_o word_n to_o my_o taste_n yea_o sweet_a than_o honey_n to_o my_o mouth_n therefore_o i_o love_v thy_o commandment_n above_o gold_n yea_o above_o fine_a gold_n thus_o be_v my_o heart_n fill_v with_o joy_n and_o my_o mouth_n with_o praise_n and_o though_o my_o dwelling_n be_v on_o earth_n yet_o my_o conversation_n be_v in_o heaven_n i_o look_v upon_o all_o thing_n here_o below_o with_o a_o indifferent_a eye_n i_o can_v in_o some_o measure_n say_v with_o paul_n none_o of_o these_o thing_n move_v i_o neither_o count_v i_o my_o life_n dear_a to_o myself_o so_o i_o may_v finish_v my_o course_n with_o joy_n i_o be_v then_o able_a to_o make_v a_o spiritual_a use_n of_o every_o providence_n and_o of_o every_o mercy_n and_o of_o every_o thing_n i_o meet_v with_o i_o find_v the_o assistance_n of_o the_o holy_a spirit_n to_o perform_v spiritual_a duty_n in_o a_o spiritual_a manner_n and_o help_v and_o direct_v i_o to_o some_o duty_n which_o i_o never_o know_v to_o be_v my_o duty_n and_o though_o i_o can_v say_v i_o be_v whole_o free_a from_o temptation_n yet_o i_o can_v say_v whenever_o satan_n begin_v to_o set_v upon_o i_o i_o be_v enable_v to_o see_v that_o it_o