I would have thee Courteous Reader to ponder in thy heart to vvit the gift of singing spiritual Songs and Hymnes whih she prâ—sents thee with some instances of in her Book here and there occasionally touching which Administration I am willing for thy â—dification to say 1. That singing of Psalmes Hymnes and Spiritual Songs bâ—ing an Ordinance of Gods vvorship ought to be performed by a gift and the assistance of the Spirit as well as prayer 1. Cor. 14 12 15. What is it then I vvill pray vvith the Spirit c. I vvilising vvith the Spirit c. Now as to take a book and râ—ad a prayer out of it or to say a prayer without the Book is not to pray in the Spirit so to read a Psalme in a Book and sing it or to sing the same Psalme without the Book is not to sing in the Spirit If the singing of Psalmes be a part of Gods worship as doubtless it is then it ought to be performed by assistance of the spirit for the true worshippers ought to worship God in spirit and truth John 4 23 24. 2. That Christians ought to sing Spiritual Songs and Hymnes as well as Psalmes unto the Lord And that with grace in their hearts Col. 3 16. for the melody which the Lord loveth iâ— in the heart rather then in the voyce Eph. 5 19. 3. They who performe this part of Gods worship whether they speak unto themselves in private or unto others more publickly ought to have the word of Christ to dwell richly in them yea and to be filled with the Spirit as the Apostle testifieth Ephes 5 vers 17 18 19 20 and Coloss 3 vers 16. I have known some other Godly and gracious Christians besides this grave and holy Matron who have this gift of Singing and I my self have some experience of this kinde of Anoynting of the Spirit of praise which will I hope ere long be powred forth upon the sons and daughters of Zion And then they will praise Jehovah singing to the Lord a new Song and his praise in the Congregation of Saints as is prophesied Psal 149 1 2 5. and Isai 51 11. and 52 1 8. c. The holy Spirit can dictate the Matter yea and words of praise and singing as well as the matter and words of prayer And why may not the Lord assist a poor gracious humble soul to sing in the Spirit as well as to pray in the Spirit seeing there nothing too hard for God to do It was by many and is still by some denyed that there is any such thing as a Spiritual gift of prayer save onely that vvhich is acquired And yet the gracious experience of many Godly persons doth testify that there is such a gift of the Spirit called a spirit of supplication which is powred forth upon the Lords people And although many nay most Godly Christians do not believe there is any such Spiritual gift of â—â—nging as I have here intimated yet some few poor gracious humble soules have good Experience that there is sometimes a measure of the holy Spirit powred upon them where by they are so filled with the Spirit that they break forth into singing Pray therefore that thou mayest sing and praise the Lord when the Redeemed of the Lord shall return and come with singing to Zion Isa 51 11. And the Children of Zion be joyful in their King Psal 149 1. Unto whom be glory and dominion for ever AMEN So prayeth he who waiteth for his Kingdome and Coming HANSERD KNOLLYS ERRATA PAg. 1. Line 8 9. read forbearance line 16. r. sinned l. 19. r. petty Pag. 3. line 1. r. I was stirred line 3. 4. r. to me towards Heaven Pag. 4. l. 7. r. stumblest Pag. 6. l. 1. r. heed Pag. 7. l. 6. r. Christening Pag. 8. l. 25. 26. r. unbelief Pag. 9. l. 12. read renewings These and some other litteral mistakes the Reader is desired to mend in the perusal of this Book Christian Womans experiences of the glorious working of Gods free Grace I Had once hard thoughts of the people of God yet being on a time perswaded to go to hear them I went though not out of love to them but to vvatch vvhat I could observe and being then over perswaded against them and the Ministers Text that then preacht was Rom. 2 4 5 6. or Dispisest thou the riches of his goodness and forbeacance and long suffering not knowing that the goodness of God leadeth thee unto repentance but after thy hardness and impenitent heart treasurest up to thy self wrath against the day of wrath and revelation of the righteous Judgment of God who will render to every man according to his deeds Verily at this opportunity the dread of God did much smite upon my heart that I had so long sinnend against his patience and goodnesz He had this passage that the sword of the Lord hung as in a twine threed to cut of all pitty swearers and I having been one that durst not swear great oathes but small ones I was addicted to I thought it met with my particular condition Then had I little acquaintance with any that feared the Lord unless it were one family and they were much afraid of me for a season because I had been so vain Then was I cast upon the Lord alone who did much support mee by his grace blessed be his name yet the very first night after he began to work upon my heart I fell under this temptation that I should not eat any more but rather die and then I should cease from sinning against the Lords goodness I then cast away my prayer-book for it did not reach my necessities and I cried unto the Lord alone to teach mee to pray Then did I endeavour to keep close to the best teaching ministery I could find I was very ignorant yet did search the Scriptures diligently but found them very dark to mee I dayly saw a more clear discovery of my sinful nature and then began to be sorely perplexed with feavs that I could not be a child of God because I knew not how to get victory over my sin and though I used all meanes I could yet my corruptions would sometimes break forth which made mee often times ready to dispare and to cast of all But one day amongst the rest the Lord made mee resolve though he kild mee yet I would trust in him he made mee also desire of him that if he would not save mee yet that he would not let mee go back again into sin for the sence of Gods goodness was much upon my heart Then in several Sermons God was pleased to speak peace to my poor soul yet after through the violence of temptations I often questioned my condition sometimes I was tempted to murder my self sometimes to starve my self yet the Lord upheld mee for I could not make my case known to any but God for the space of two years all which season I was wonderfully kept by
A CHRISTIAN WOMANS Experiences of the glorious working of Gods free grace Published for the Edification of others by KATHERINE SUTTON Luk. 24 24. And they found it even so as the VVomen had said AT ROTTERDAM Printed by HENRY GODDAEUS Printer in the Newstreet Anno 1663. COURTEOUS READER WHEN our Lord and Saviour JESUS CHRIST had fed many with a few Loves he commanded his Disciples to gather up the Fragments that nothing he lost Iohn 6. 12. And when God was pleased to poure out of his Spirit upon some of his faithful Servants in our Generation he had also some of his Handmaides who gathered up the Crumes of that spiritual Bread which the Lord blessed and distributed among his Disciples Of which Number this holy Marron was one Now there are three Arguments where by it may appear that God would not have these Fragments which she hath gathered into her Basket to be lost viz. First Because God made them by his Blâ—ssing food to her soul in the gathering and receiving them into her own heart and also to the soules of several young Virgins in her family unto whom the Lord made some of these Crumes the bead of eternal Life Secondly Because when she had lost the manuscript where in these and many other of her Experiences were written in a sea storme wherein she suffâ—â—ed Shipwrack yet God who preserved her life did also preserve these â—xperiences in her heart where it seemeth they were written not with ink but by his holy Spirit Thirdly Because she beiâ—g presled in Spirit to Communicate them more publikely the Spirit of the Lord did bring them agâ—in to her remembrance and she hath been made willing to publish them as her Testimony and witness of the free grace and fresh Anoyntings of the Lords Spirit whom he hath promised to poure forth upon his servants and Handmaides in the last dayes Ioel 2 28 29 31 32. Now for as much as this little Book is presented to thee CHRISTIAN READER as a Basket full of Fragments be not offended with the broakenness of any matter which thou mayest meet with in the Reading thereof considering that God who hath made them a blessing to others may bless them unto thee Thou mayest take notice of three Things in this little Book which I judge woâ—thy of every Christians observation to wit first Her extraordinary Teachings of God by his holy Spirit and Word when she could not enjoy the ordinary means of his own appointments This godly Woman after God hath begun the good work of grace in her soul would not loose any opportunity she could get either in publicke or private for her pâ—ecious soâ—l but would often break thorrow some difficulties and endure some hard hips to enjoy such opportunities and this she did at that time when many professors sleighted and neglected Ogrâ—evous Sin yea contemned the Ministry of the word Now obsâ—rve That aâ— she followed the Lord and waited upon him in the use of the means of Grace when she could enjoy it so the Lord was pleased of the exceeding Riches of his free Grace not onely to so her soul good by his pâ—esence and power therein But also when she could nâ—t â—njoy the 〈◊〉 memeâ— of grace the Lord waited to be graciouâ— unto her soul and followed her with the 〈◊〉 teachings of his holy Spirit and word as she hath witnessed in many particulars in this her Book And if thy experience COURTEOUS READER cannot seal unto the Testimony that she gives of those Spiritual Teachings Yet do not stâ—mble at them do not judge her for she hath received an Unction from the holy One and is taught of God In the Reading of her Book thou wilt meet with some suddain and unexspected Transition from one thing to another and thou mayest think it to be some what abruptly yet Censure not too rashly but rather consider that even this also may yea doth hold some proportion unto the course of Heaven and Heavenly communications The Husbandman will not wonder to see showers and shinings bright and dark Clouds succeed each other knowing that the Rain which comes from Heaven hath its seasons and its measure too Will the Marriner marvel to see the seas swell and rage in a great storme or admire the stilâ—ness and smoothness of the deep watters in a great calme Or will any who liv supon the sea coast think the frequent Ebbing flowing of the tyde a strange thing Neither will any experienced Christian marvel at the suddain Ebbing and flowing of joyes and sorrowes in the hearts of Saints The operations and Administrations of the Spirit are various 1. Cor. 12 4 5 6 7. Some times the Spirit is poured out upon the soules of Believers as floods upon the dry ground And those spiritual showers and shinings do make a spring of Grace in the wilderness of their hearts Where of the Lord hath spoaken by his Prophets Isa 51 3. and 44 3 4. and 32 15 16 17. Ier. 31 v. 12. But at other time the glory of the Saints comforts joyes and light is so clouded and eclipsed that they are under great desertions Isa 54 vers 7 8 11. Yea and may for some time walk in dakness and have no light Isa 50 10. Secondly Another thing I judge worthy the Readers observation in this Book is this Christian womans Experience of the presence and power of God accompanying her consciencious endeavours to do good unto the souls of others both in her own family especially and also in some other families where she so journed some time I mention not this for her praise who desires that God alone may have all the Glory of whatsoever he hath done for her or by her she needs no Epistâ—es of Commendation from men But seeing her Experiences are made so publicke my hearts desire is that Parents and Governours of families would follow her Example therein Endeavouring as she did the Conversion and sanctification of them whom God had committed to their charge by Instructions councel and reproose which she administred with so much love wisdome zeal and tenter heartâ—dness that they proved by Gods blessing an effectual means of the conversion of many some of whom are yet living witnesses of the truth hereof and also of many other her Experiences related in this her Book She was not onely a Governesse but as it were a Prophetess in her family for she prayed constantly with her children and Maidens she also read the holy Scriptures daily unto them and so spake from them that many of them who heard her in her family duties believed and turned to the Lord. She opened her mouth with wisdome and in her tongue was the Law of kindness a Solomon spake of the virtuous woman Pro. 31 26 27 28 29. She did so Chatechise the young children and instruct the elder maidens that they all learned to know and many of them to do their duty to God and man Thirdly there is yet one thing more which
book if any man shall adde unto these things God shall adde unto him the plagues that are written in this book and if any man shall take away from the words of the Book of this Prophesy God shall take away his part out of the Book of life and out of the holy Citty and from the things which are written in this book well still I was put upon it to continue seeking the Kingdom of God and the righteousness thereof and the promise that all other tâ—ingt should be added unto mee Then did I with some others seek the Lord by fasting and prayer for councel what we should do and wheter we should go to injoy communion with the Lord in the way of his pure worship and the Lord was pleased in love to answer my desirs in a wonderful manner for being then intangled with a house of which my Husband had a lease for some years and upon that account was unwilling to remove not knowing how to dispose of that house But yet the Lord was pleased in a short time to make him willing that I should remove if I could get of that lease and some goods I had which the Lord soon holp mee in by sending one unexpectedly the very next day after my Husband declared his willigness for my removal upon those conditions who took of the lease of the house of our hands with those goods and so I was made free So forth with I removed to a place where I did injoy the heating of a good man preach and had the sweet benefit of some private meetings which was much refreshing unto mee but yet two things I was very earnest with God for 1. One that I might be filled with the clear witness and full assurance of the eternal Spirit 2. And the other that I might injoy more full and close communion vvith God in all his blessed ordinances in both vvhich God vvas pleased to ansvver mee in some measure as to the first he did let mee see that I had sinned against him in that I again questioned that assurance vvhich before he had given mee in and then he brought vvith most vvonderful renevving povver those Scripturs vvhich many years before at several times under several ordinances vvere set vvith much povver and evidence upon my heart But first God vvas pleased to shevv mee that it vvas onely unbeief that had caused mee at the appearance of temptation and corruption to question his love and doubt about his kindness and so to conclude against my self But the Lord did shevv me that all this doubting vvas from my evil heart of unbelief the sence of vvhich one morning especially God did set upon my spirit to the breaking of my heart so that for three dayes together I vvas greatly afflicted in my spirit and continued crying unto God as one that could not be anij longer contented vvithout the Light of his countenance vvith a renevving seal of his Love long sought vvith sighes prayers and tears and in the third day morning he did send the comforther the Spirit vvhich vvith invvard light life and povver set upon my heart these follovving Scriptures 1 John 3 2. Now are wee the sons of God and it doth not yet appear what wee shall be But rather rejoyce because your names are written in heaven Luke 10 vers 20. And who soever will let him come and take of the watters of life freely Revel 22. 17. And my grace is sufficient for thee 2 Cor. 12 9. Oh! I cannot utter the joy that then was in my heart by the mighty operation of the spirit And then after that this word came upon my spirit and grieve not the holy Spirit whereby thou art sealed unto the day of redemption and then God did answer mee that there was sufficiency in his grace in Christ to pardon all my sins past present and to come Then as to my other desire which was aftet more communion with God in his ordinances After waiting the Lord was pleased to set it upon my heart to believe that my habitation should be removed and that I should injoy my desire by the time called Easter and so it was accordingly and I through mercy after I had gotten the renewigs of the seal and clear witness of the Spirit lived for about a quarter of a year as it were in Heaven upon earth but then began a cloud again to araise and I was under the buffetings of some sore temptations God with drawing in a great measure though not the witness of the Spirit yet the com forts of his Spirit which before I did injoy and I conceive this might be the cause of it which I wish all others may take heed of for it cost mee deare under that sweâ—t soul refreshing communion I had with our heavenly Father I gave way to some doubtings and questionnings whither there was not a delusion in the thing I then injoyed This temptation lasted some six dayes and I had no peace day nor night when I was awake to think that I should grieve so good a God and cause him to depart from mee And Satan not changing his weapons made mee think that there was something in mee that I did not so fully resist him for when our dear Lord Jesus was tempted he by his powerful resistance made him to change them So I lay mourning before the Lord but could not set to praying for the violence of this temptation Then mysleep dâ—puted and I grew sick then God gave mee to mind that Abrahams wâ—râ— lay before mee when he went to offer sacrifice he was to drive away the fowles Gen. 15. this work the Lord directed mee to do by laying hold upon Jesus Christ who had prayed for mee though I could not now pray for my self Jo. 15 v. 17 19. And so soon as my heart was brought to believe this I was presently delivered and in all this temptation the Lord hid not his face from mee blessed be his name And then as the Lord carried mee over the Sea where I did injoy further and fuller communion with himself in his ordinances he gave mee another occasion for the exercise of saith and Patience For whilst I was upon that voyage the vessel that I was in was pursued with enemies and troubled with contrary winds so that we were in great straits But God gave me to believe that he that delivered Paul out of his straits would also deliver us out of ours and so it was blessed be his name and so very safely was I carried unto that place that the Lord called mee unto But presently after I was there arrived the Lord was pleased to exercise mee with several afflictions First by taking away a child by death and then by laying upon my self such a distemper that my joynts and sinnews were by fits bound up that I could not stirre them nor take any rest while it lasted my pain was so great no Doctor could do mee any good though several physitians
mindes are stayed on mee because they trust in mee And the Lord is the portion of his people And they are to him as the apple of his eye Zech. 8 2 8. And as a gsigne upon his right-hand And he to them is a strong tower a buckler and shield a Captain and leader of his people and it is written When ye see these things begin to come to passe then look up and lift up your heads for your redemtion draweth nigh Luke 21 28. If you had but so much faith as a grain of mustered seed you should say unto this mountâ—in be removed into the Sea Christ reprove Peter for the smalness of his faith All things are possible to them that believe Fear not them that can kill the body but fâ—ar him that can destroy both body and soull in hell Math. 10 28. Fear not little floâ—k it is your Fathers good pleasure to give you the Kingdom Luke 12 32. See that you be not troubled for these things must be but the end is not yet nation shall rise against nation and Kingdom against Kingdom and ye shall hear of warres and run ors of warres but he that watcheth over Israel neither slumbereth nor sleepeth He that believeth on mee as the Scriptures hath said out of his belly shall flow rivers of living watter but this sâ—ake he of the spirit that they that believe on him should receive and is promised to be poured out in the latter dayes After these promises and instructions followed thiâ— soâ—g in the year 1658. Oh 〈◊〉 my soule give glory to the Lord. 〈◊〉 this rich merâ—y he doth thee asoard He made the hearens and ordered every light He takes the hearts up of his people qâ—ue And as I was on a Journey this also was given in VVhen that this green shall blosome bear And biâ—ds shall pleasant sing Then shall there be a knâ—ll most sad In every place beard ring Then did the Lord poure out upon me much of the spirit of prayer and praising with the knowledg of other things which he is bringing to pasâ— In so much that I was much broaken before him to see my own unworthyness and his goodness a sence of which I lay under for some season not long after I had a great sit of sickness and I was inquiring of God what his mind should be in that affliction he shewed mee it was because I did not declare to the Church with whom I walked those things he had made known unto mee But benig troubled at my own insufficiency and they benig unacquainted with such things and indeed my self did question at the first whether it were the guilt of God or no the guist of singing Then the Lord was pleased to set it upon my heart that as those prophesyes were true and should come to pass so should I know that this was the true guist of God given in unto mee And it was so when the spring came on then began that sickness of agues and feavours that have continued ever since little or much and there followed two dry summers one after another and also we had many light appearances but they set in dark shadows tili Christ our light shall appear and in great mercy take away and remove our dark and sad afflictions and sorrows well now I was at last so moved in my spirit that I could not tell how to keep in these things any longer and therefore went to the Church to that end but I then could not find him that I would have spoken of it unto for him to declare unto the rest so I returned and did it not Then the Lord afflicted mee again and then I besought him again and he gave mee to mind that I was justly afflicted for neglecting to make it known then being raised up again I did declare something but not so fully as I should and indeed would have done fearing it would not be born for which I was mourning before the Lord and as I was mourning I was put upon singing as followeth Cease thou thy mourning and see thou dost praise For thou shalt do my will in all my wayes Thy work shall be praises now sor to sing Because thou hast chosen Chriâ—t to be thy King Lift up your heads redemption draweth near Do not at all possess thy heart with fear Lift up your heads and look to heaven high For God will make his people glorisy Draw water from the wells that are so deep You shall drink flaggons of my love when others are astheep Then still sought I God what I might do to honnor God in my generation and about three dayes after it was set upon my heart in the night that I must writte my experiences but then I thought oh how should I remember thirty years experiences but then presently came in these promises Fear thou not for I am with thee be not dismayed for I am thy God I will strengthen thee yea I will help thee yea I will up hold thee with the right-hand of my righteousness Isaiah 41 10. Fear not thou worm Iacob I will help thee saith the Lord and thy Redeemer the holy one of Israel vers 14. Commit thy way unto the Lord trust also in him and he shall bring it to pass Psalm 37 5. Great things have I laid up for them that fear mee among the sons of men The next day I set my house in order that I might go about this work that the Lord had called mee unto and until I went about it this word followed mee be instructed least my Spirit depart from thee and as soon as I set upon my work it left mee and I found the Lord according to his promise mightyly assisting mee in bringing things to my remembtance and I wrig them down and had some thoughts to put them in print but yet through the corruptions of my heart and the advice of a friend I was not willing they should be published whilst I am living my reason was because I am a poor weak worthless worm and have not the parts and gifts that some others have And because I am an old fruitless branch my memory failes and my understanding is so dull that I am and was at the best a poor empty one which I cannot but acknowledg with tears and brokenness of heart Oh that the Lord should be so good to mee and I can bring no more glory and honnour to him but yet notwithstanding I must give glory to God for that he hath been pleased to poure out of his Spirit upon mee and since that to fill my soul with very sweet choyce and heavenly injoyments from himself The most large measure of the spirit of prophesy was upon mee at two particular times the one in the year one thousand six hundred and fifty five And the other in the year 1658 but at many times God was pleased to give me much of the spirit of prayer and praise Then by his hand of providence I was
And now hereby do I know that it was the Spirit of God and of truth that did work at this time because it did lay mee low and flat before him that is holy and made me see my own insufficiency and his great al sufficiency which did much humble mee and broak and melted mee exceedingly then was this promise given in That they that waiton the Lord shall renew their strength they shall mount up with wings as Eagles they shall run and not be weary and they shall walk and not faint And my heart was very much drawn out to wait upon God in a way of believing both for my self and people of God having that word as it were whispered in my ear If thou canst believe all things are possible Another time I was considering that though I had been a Professor many years yet I though indeed I was but a babe in Christ then that word came upon mee Out of the mouthes of babes and sucklings thou hast ordâ—ined praise And indeed I can incourage the most simple and weak to wait on the Lord for his grace is sufficient At this time I was taught by the spirit that prayer was another thing then some take it to be it is of a divine nature and they onely whom God helpeth can pray for it is not words that is alwayes needfull for a soul may pray and utter no words and have sweet communion with God by faith yet words sometimes affect the heart and I have sometimes found the voyce cannot be kept in the heart may be so filled Therefore I blame none but desire to be tender of all for God accepts what himself gives outward performances is as the shell without the kernel if the spirit act not but what of his own spirit is in any duty that God doth accept And we read of the poor woman in the Gospel who met with some discouragements yet by the power of faith being inabled to hold on oh how greatly he commended her faith and answered her desire though her words were but few onely Lord help mee c. And Hannahs prayer was heard who did but move her lips And although she was a woman of a sorrowful spirit before yet she went away believing and also rejoycing that God had heard her prayer So the desires of them that fear him shall be answered and he will hear their cry Daniel before he made his supplication was answered the groaning of the spirit before the Lord is a loud cry the prayer of faith doth save the sick The Lord is a very present help in the time of need They that trust in him shall not be disappointed Nay he takes pleasure in them that fear him and that hopes in his mercy Therefore let them that call on the name of the Lord depart from iniquity Further my heart being carried out long to wait for and expect ther teachings of the spirit more fully to be given mee and therefore if any thing comes in further it is not of nor from my self but the Spirit of Gods working in and upon a poor weak creature who though I be very unfit to publish any thing of this nature to the world yet according to my measure I would with that poor woman do what I can with willingness and cheerfulness for God loves a cheerful heart in his work and the Apostle saith if there be first a willing mind it is accepted according to that a man hath and not according to that he hath not Yet I am much incouraged to believe that this work is of the Lord for I have found the flesh exceeding opposet thereunto and when I have neglected it God hath withdrawn himself from mee and when I set to it in good earnest then God returns and let mee injoy sweet communion with himself And the more the Lord appeared at the first comings in of these things upon my soul the more his love broake my heart that I was wonderfully affected to behold the freeness of his grace to such a one And verily the more watchful I was against sin and unto duty the more of his divine presence was affoarded which is so gloriously sweet to injoy that the more I had the more still I would have and still longed for not onely in the day but in the night also hearkening what God spake and in the night his vvay to my soul hath been to come in vvith many svveet seasonable and povverful instructions stirring me up to pray teaching me hovv to pray and vvhat to pray for encreasing my faith and considence to believe for that I have praied for both for my self and others and also stirring mee up to praysing him and I find that giving my self vvholy to the disposing of God in prayer is a very good thing also this fear hath been upon mee sometimes that I should offer unto God that vvhich cost mee nothing that is to lay on t the choisest and most of the day about the vvorld and then bring the sleepy head to God for a sacrifice I minding the spirituallity of true prayer and my unfitness for it I have found the councel of our Lord Jesus Christ very useful vvhere he saith VVatch and pray Math. 26 41. And the Apostle saith VVatch unto prayer Pet. 1 4 7. yet I have found often when I have been to pray unto God my heart have been very dead and I could not get it into so spiritual a forme as I would yet durst not neglect the dayly waiting upon God in that duty but even then made it my work to petition the Lord to compose my spirit and quicken me by his grace and holy Spirit that I might not offer the blind the halt and lame in sacrifice unto God And indeed then God hath so come in upon my spirit that I haâ—â— had more communion with him self yea more then at some other time when I have been apt to think my self more fit At other times when I have not found God coming in to help mee I have gone a way and waited his time for unless God enlarge our hearts it is not good for us to en large in words for God is in heaven and thou on the earth therefore let thy words befew thy words mark that and bodily exercise prositeth nothing my son give mee thy heart saith God Eccles 5 2. The poor man that said God be merciful unto mee a Sinner went a way more accepted or rather Justified then the Pharise in the time before the coming of Christ in the flesh if Gods people could not bring a lamb fo ra sacriffice if they brought but two pigeons or a little flower if it were brought to the Priest it was accepted so if we come to him that Justifies the ungodly and hath promised to do all our works in us and for us beholding his alsufficiency and submit to him and be content with that he will give us as well in spirit uals as in temperals the Lord will accept of
the power of God alone In this time was I called by my friends into a darck corner of the land full of ignorance yet I was sorely troubled especially when I was overtaken with any sin still I fell down beforâ—â—he Lord bewailing my sins then did the Lord give mee much comfort from this place of Scripture Jer. 31 20. Is Ephraim my dear son is he a pleasant child for since I spake against him I do earnestly remember him still therefore my bowels are troubled for him I will surely have mercy upon him saith the Lord. Now in the place where I was were many Papists and they much endeavoured to have mee of their judgment But God kept mee in a thirsting frame of spirit after the preaching of the word and often cast in my mind that I should Matt. 6 33. First seek the Kingdom of God and the righteousness thereof and all other things should be added Wee had in that place a bad Minister but to God I made my supplication and used what means I could to obtain a better and God was pleased to answer my desires and sent a better to that very place who remained there the time that I stayed under whose honnest teachings I often met with sweet refreshing Then was stirred up by my friends to change my condition to be married to an husband upon which I did earnestly begg of God that I might have one that did fear the Lord that he might be a furtherance to heaven and indeed so hee was For I married with a man that was much in practical diuties yet some difference there was in our judgments which often caused no small trouble in my spirit but it had this effect it caused mee to cry to God and to search the Scriptures so much the more using all means for a â—ight understanding in the things and wayes of God and it became helpful to mee And in this time of my earnest seeking of God alone he was pleased to discover to mee by dreames and visions of the night the uggliness of sin in a far greater manner then ever I saw it before and in dreams brought many Scriptures to mind that did answer some questions and satisfy some doubts that were in my heart and so did cause darkness to become light before mee at that time and this did the Lord do in the absence of other meanes soon after I gained information where the word was powerfully preached but it being something far from mee I had some difficulty to get to it yet it being through grace more to mee then my ordinary food I keept close to opportunities of the word there preached which in an especial manner God was pleased to make very useful unto mee And I injoying often many sweet tasts of the presence of God in his ordinances was carried out through all weathers to wait upon him and this I can truely say from real experience that the worst wheather I went through the more of God I met within his ordinances I remember one very wet day I had much comfort from these words let this incourage others Joh. 1 2 3. Now are wee the sons of God and it doth not yet appear what we shall bee And afterwards while my meditations were something upon Hebrews 6 5 6. I was much stirred up to mind how far an Hypocrite might go in Religion And I began to consider whether or no I had gone any further then such a one might go for I saw plainly that a person might go very far and yet be in a sad state though they may be â—nlightened and tast of the heavenly gist and be partakers of the holy Spirit yea and tast of the good word and also hear the best Preachers gladly as Herod did Iohn the Baptist and as Agrippa did Paul and yet be but almost a Christian Then I being at a Sermon the words of the Text were Marc. 6 vers 20. And he did many things That Minister then shewed that an Hypocrite or a reprobate might do many things but yet a true child of God can do more he named two things in which a child of God goeth beyond an Hypocrite First that he doth as much desire to be holy as happy 2. That he doth as earnestly fet himself against all sin as some Then was I exceedingly taken up in my thoughts about this thing but being carried out to seek the Lord earnestly he was pleased to give in this answer Thou tumblest so much at the stone of assurance that thou forgetest to build then did God let me see that the foundation and top-stone is Jesus Christ and that I must cease from my own workes and take Christ upon his own termes and then entred I into some rest Oh what a knotty piece was I to work upon for until he put forth his mighty power I could not believe and I found nothing stronger then free grace to stricke at the root of my sin Also on another snowy day I going many miles to hear I was refreshed much from these words 2 Cor. 12 9. My grace is sufficient for thee And on another day from these words Luke 10 20. But rather rejoyce because your names are written in heaven And another time aboundance of comfort from that Scripture 1 Cor. 2 9. Eye hath not seen nor ear heard neither hath it entred into the heart of man to conceive the things which God hath prepared for them that love him It was a very sore day when I went to this opportunity and a very bitter Journey I had but God made it exceeding sweet unto mee Also I had a very great fit of a feaver by reason of the trouble of conscience I was under and in the time of that great feaver the Lord was pleased to set that Scripture upon my heart Rev. 22 17. The Spirit and the bride said comm and let him that heareth say come and let him that is a thirst come and whosoever will let him come and take of the watters of Life freely Which did administer so much comfort refreshing to mee from a sence of the freeness of Gods grace being set upon my heart with so much power of the Spirit that I was contrary to the Judgement of Physicians soon raised to my health again For indeed I had at that time been exceedingly troubled in my spirit about my sins which I had been looking back upon for I had made a Catalogue of them and spread them before the Lord for pardon But thinking them to be so many that God would not pardon them I did much desire I might die and go out of the body and not live any Longer in it to encrease mine iniquities And although at this time a good Minister did endeavour to comfort mee yet I put comfort from mee and said it did not belong to mee till the God of all grace was pleased to give it in by the power of his Spirit as besore mentioned and then after our good God had
removed again out of England into Holland and I brought the papers of my experiences with mee which the Ship being cast away were lost with the trunck in which they were Then was it much set upon my heart that God was displeased with mee for not putting them in print and then the guift of singing and praising was much ceased and I was troubled for the which I sought the Lord and did begg ' that if he were offended at mee for not printing and leaving them behind mee that he would pardon it unto mee and that if it were his good pleasure I should write them again I did pray that he would let his Spirit come to inable mee again in singing and prayer as it was wont to do and be my remembrancer to write again and indeed it did so not long after in the night both in song and in prayer But then I having not time was much hindered yet notwithstanding according to the time I had I set my self to do it and the Lord was pleased to assist mee in bringing again to my remembrance things of long standing Now before I departed from England I was satisfied in my spirit that I had a clear call from thee Lord so to do for indeed more then a year I had such a motion in my spirit backed with many Scriptures for its furtherance Yet nothwithstanding in this Voyage we met wich some diffciulty for the Ship I came over in was cast away but in the time of the greatest trouble the Lord gave mee in these promises that he would be with mee in six troubles and in the seventh he would not forsake mee Call upon mee in the day of trouble I will hear thee and deliver thee and thou shalt glorify mee With this sweet word also thou shalt not die but live to see the mercy I will shew unto thee It was in the night and after some time the Ship being a ground and in great danger and so were all the persons in it one asked mee if I were not afraid I answered the God of heaven my Father hath brought mee hither and if he may have more honour in drowning of mee then by preserving mee his will be done Then when the mast was cut down and the Master with some others said we are dead persons and like to loose our lives yet I had much hope in the Lord because of his promise and after that I and some others in the Ship with mee had committed our selves unto God by prayer I being in the Cabbon laid me down to sleep but I had not it seems lien half an hour but they called us and said there was Land not far of if wee would seek for help vvhich accordingly vve did But it being but about the break of the day vve did vvander over the sandâ— but could find no vvay out of the sea as it vvere compassing us aboue round then vve all returned to the Ship again and some concluded vve must go in an perish there so they vvent in again But vve said if vve must perish vve vvould be still seeking to save our lives And as our God to whom we had committed ourselves guided us we went another way on the sands and as I was going looking to God to be my Pilot not knowing whether vve vvent for the sea vvas one both sides of us and vvee had but a small vvay on the sands to vvalk in and as I vvas begging of the Lord to keep in the seastill vve found out a place not onely for our ovvn escape but that vve might see deliverance for our friends in the Ship also the Lord vvas pleased to set this upon my heart As thy deliverance is so shall Englands be vvhen they are brought to greatest streights then vvill deliverance be from God A hint of some night meditations and effects of prayer I being avvake one night and very full of trouble in my mind because I vvas no more spiritual for I had found my self very dead-hearted in prayer over night for the vvhich I vvas very sadly afflicted in spirit and indeed then vvanting place of retirement to send up strong cries unto the Lord did much deaden my spirit for I found it vvas the practice of Jesus Christ sometime to be in the vvilderness sometime in the mountain all night in prayer alone and sometimes alone in the gardin and I find prayer in secret much acceptâ—d vvith God according to that vvord Pray to thy â—ather in secret and he will reward thee opeâ—ly Math. 6 6. indeed so full of sorrovv vvas I that I uttered no vvords but sigâ—d and groaned to the Lord. Then this came in Vpon the 〈◊〉 thou shalt live 〈…〉 of â—oâ—e I will the 〈◊〉 〈…〉 be made all times to see 〈…〉 flowes in mee Then did I groaâ—e before the Lord that he vvould give in some promise the Lord cast in this that the grace or prayer vvas before the guist of prayer and that this vvas the grace of prayer to give up our selves in faith to the guidance of the spirit and so by â—aith to have communion vvith the Father and the Son in the Spirit for Christ tâ—ld the Woman John 4 v. 21 22 23. Neither in thus mountain noâ— in Ierusalem shaâ—l mâ—n worship the Father but the â—our is coming a now us when the true worshippâ—rs shall worship the Father in Spirit and iâ— truth sor the â—ather sâ—â—keth such to worship him God is a Spirit and they that worship him must worship him in Spirit and in truth This Woman then could say that Christ vvould teach all things vvhy should not vve look for the teachings of the Spirit novv seeing Christ hath not onely been vvith us in the flesh God and man but had also promised us the pourings out of the Spirit to teach us all things and to bring all things to our remembrance Then further I vvas mourning that I could not injoy the ordinances of God â—n their purity and the Lord shevved mee that I must offer up my 〈◊〉 And vvhen Abraham vvent to do that he left his servants belovv the hill and consulteâ— not vvith flesh and blood Also aftervvard I had such vvonderful experience of communion vvith God through the Spirit as I am not able to utter it I avvaking another night vvas greatly complaining that the flesh did so 〈◊〉 in the Spirits vvork that vvhen I vvorld do good evil is present â—â—en did the spirit put me upon uttering many heavenly complaints in a vvay of singing and after that vvith the help of the Spirit to pray vvith much enlargâ—dness And aâ—ter that there vvas by the same spirit vvith very much povver this vvord Be silent before mee all flesh Oh! and then follovved the vvonderful speakings of God by his blessed Spirit to my poor soul vvhich I cannot utter as to the manner of them bâ—t the nature of them vvas exceeding comforting to my self and also filled 〈◊〉 vvith great hopes to all the people of God
the Scripture before prayer many times quickeneth the heart to Christ And to meditate on Gods mercies to our soules and bodyes and what great things Christ hath suffered to purchase these mercies for us is a great help to stir up to that heavenly duty of praising and thankfulness which is a maine duty I would stir up my self and others unto because our hearts are apt to be very backward unto it and secondly because it is a duty to be done at all times In all things give thankes yea in afflictions For God hath promised all shall worke together for good to them that love God Thirdly to be filled with the Spirit of praises makes the soul to live in heaven while it is on earth verily we had need be stirred up to this duty for he that offers praise glorifies God Psal 50. last verse And Iesus Christ complaines against the neglect of it in that place where the ten Leppers were clensed and but one did returne thankes saith Christ was there not ten cleused but where are the nine O! athankful frame doth compose the heart to great contentedness in every condition it is of a divine nature it stirres up the graces of God in the soul as love and faith with hope in God and charity to others Therefore pray for the Spirit of God to put the heart into a praising frame for there 's need of the exercise of much heavenly wisdome in the performance of this duty for â—t is a spiritual work Another experience I have had that it is our duty and very profitable to watch against all evil thoughs these ften grieve the holy Spirit of God as of old he complained how long shall vain thoughts lodg within you and God looking upon man beholding what was in his heart and seeing his thoughts to be evil onely and continually and it repented the Lord that he had made man on the earth and it grieved him at the heart and God said I will distroy man whom I have created from the facre of the earth Gen. 5 6. And then down comes the flood of Gods displeasure upon the old world not for sinful actions only but thoughts also Therefore keep your hearts with all diligence Prov. 4 23. For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh And in the multitude of words is sin I would desire all to take heed of idle words and mind well what ye speak when and how avoid all needless speeches and put far away all vain foolish jesting an evil which my self was some times very prone too and as too many do harm by I endeavored to make my self and others merry but alas 't is sinful mirth and it will bring sadness here or els which is worse end in sorrow hereafter thus was I convinced of this evâ—l being upon a joyrney meeting one that was a stranger to mee thinking to make him and my self laugh spoake jestingly to him but he presently fella swearing and cursing and railing which when I heard wounded me to the heart that I by my folly should provoke the poor man so to sin against God my mirth soon turned into mourning And while I mourned before the Lord over this my great evil which had produced such a sad effect God was pleased to set this upon my heart Cannot I make thee more merry with heavenly and spiritual joy then thou canst make thy self with such foolish vain and sinful mirth And the Lord hath since filled mee with that sweet refreshing joy that is a thousand times better to mee then all sinful mirth Further in reference to words I would commend unto yow some Scripture rules Iam. 1 26. compared with Math. 12 27. from whence we may observe that when any person doth utter words that be vain earthly or froward it doth plainly manifest that there is an earthly vain and froward heart whiâ—h is an abomination to the Lord Prov. 11 20. and in Iam. 1 19. The Apostle doth perswade Christians to be swift to hear but slow to speak and slow to wrath And Jesus doth exhort his followers that their yea should be yea and their nay nay saying that what soever is more is evil And Iams 1 21. bids us lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness that is to say what ever is more then needful in words apparel and diet yea and in all things and what ever profession any person may make if they bridle not their tonge they deceive themselves and their Religion is vain hath God through his free grace passed his distinguishing love upon a little Remnant doubtless 't is their duty then to distinguish themselves from others in their words habit and in their whole conversation so to walke as becometh the Gospel Phil. 1 27. Surely if persons were awakened by the voice of God that speaks lowd in the present afflictions they would so doe 't now is not a time for any of Gods Children to continue their superfluities when many do want necessaries Let me intreat such to read and mind what is written in Rom. 12 1 2. And 1 Pet. 2 11. If we could but be moderate in the use of all things what good Stewards should we be of the manifold blessings of God which he hath betrusted us with and we must give an account of in the day of the Lord. Prosperity hath made many to glory in the flesh and exalt themselves in which vain glory some still do continue although the great Eternal God hath and doth testify from heaven against it but if it be not repented of and departed from God wil turn it into shame Hosea 4 7. As they were increased so they sinned against me therefore will I change their glory into shame it s now a trying time and all persons by their conversations will discover what they are and were ever the deeds and workes of the flesh appear and are alowed 't is evident there is not the Spirit of God in them And they who have not the Spirit of Christ are none of his And 't is not a talking of but walking in the Spirit will help against the fulfilling the lusts of the flesh and manifest who are the true Children of God Oh! that persons were wise to consider their latter end then surely they would not neglect the knowledg of those things that belong to their peace but chuse that better part that shall never be taken from them Which would make them happy for ever Oh! that all would be persuaded to commune with their own hearts and consider their own wayes And to mind the dreadful Judgments of God and his vials of wrath that shall be powred out against sin and sinners surely they would see it is high time to departe from pride vain glory coveteousness oppression hypocrisy mallice and all sin For verily God is visiting for these things and for persons still to continue therein may it not be feared and justly exspected that God should increase his Judgments and punish
it comes out of love from our blessed Saviour And let not this be dispised because it is the Spirits working in the weakesâ— vessel for Christ did not reject the woman though weak ignorant and sinful and where he hath forgiven much he maketh them love much and follow him to the lasâ— especially if they keep the word of his patience holding fast to every truth of God though it be in an evil time when truth is dispised Mary followed Christ to the last and the Lord did so assist her with his Spirit who shewed her strong affections to him gonig early in the mornning to the sepulchre and Christ put this honour upon her that she must bring the first glad tidings of the Gospel of the resurrection unto the Disciples And his appearance to her in that season when she knew not where to seek him Christ herein shewed his great Love to sinners for she being a poor ignor an t woman though full of affection did as many of us do now a dayes seek the living among the dead but where Christ keeps up the affections of a soul to himself he manifests more of the knowledg of himself and Christ doth testify in Iohn 4. Thâ—â— it was his meat and drink to do his fathers will and that was to teach the poor tâ—â— knowledg of his will And when he made known himself to that poor woman 〈◊〉 affections where so enlarged that she goes and calls others ver 34. thus Christ finished the work of his father to take care of the weakest of his stock that as the woman was first in the transgression she might have first knowledg of the resurrection the guift of the well of watter which springs up unto everlasting life and this guift God is pleased to give it unto women as well as unto men And he doth require that they should honour him as well as men for the free grace of God in Christ as welâ— to the one as the other and 't is his free grace that I am what I am and if this small mite be not accepted by all I shall take it as an high honnor to suffer for well-doing for â—hough in my self I am low and find the flesh would hinder and my memory bad yet I can through grace say the spirit hath been my remembrance and in the simplicity of my heart I have done this and out of obedience to my good God which makes the Son of righteousness to shine on the weak and on the strong And truely I have nothing to glory in for I never did see my self so weak as now and since I had communion night and day with God I never was so much in self-loathing and abhorring as now therefore praise the Lord with mee for I am a poor sinful creature and I desire that all that fear the Lord to whom this shall come would pray earnestly to God for me that I may stand fast in this evil day and may walk humbly blamelesly and very harmlesly towards all so that I may honour him which hath honoured me with his Son to whom be glory and praise for ever Now to testify to all that I have received from the Lord that gift of singing as well as the gift of prayer and any other therefore I shall present to your view some of those Hymnes and spiritual Songs with an account how and when they were given in and so shall leave it to the spiritual to Iudge As I was waiting on the Lord in that Ordinance of the Lords Supper this following short Hymne was immediately given in O Now my soul go forth with praise For God excepteth thee alwayes Thy life is bound up now in mee My precious death hath set thee free This Testimony I thee give At this bread was broaken so was I That thou in mee mightest never dye My blood doth justify the same That thou mayest praise my holy Name My Covenant I have made with thee So that thou art now whole set free Sin nor Saâ—han cannot thee charge Because my love hath thee inlarg'd So sure as I am plas 't above So sure art thou now of my love Your waiting shall be upon me till I your souls hath filled and in the way of righteousness you shall be made to yeeld Another time I having been waiting on the Lord in breaking bread And soon after was given in this following THE Spring is come the dead is gâ—ne Sweet streams of love doth flow There is a Rock that you must knock â—rom whence these stream do go The Banquets sâ—t the King is câ—me To entertain his Guest All that are weary of their sins He waites to gâ—ve them rest Then come and take your fill of love Here 's joy enough for all To see our King so richly clad And gâ—ve so loud a call Here 's Wine without money or price Here 's milk to nurish babes You may come to this banquet now And fâ—ede of it most large Then comfâ—rt you your selves in him T is sweet to see his love That they that are redeemed by him May live so free above And while the afflicting hand of God was upon mee in some measure this following was given in one evening as a song of instruction AFflictions are not from the dust Nor are they in vain sent But they shall work the work of him That is most nobly Bent. Then let thine eyes look upon him Which worketh in the dark And let thine heart imbrace his love Least thou from him should'st start Although thou canst not see his work Yet waite on him with joy For none shall hinder now his work Nor none shall him Anoy Thou must be willing to take up The cross to follow him And waite till he will make his cup To flow up to the brim Seeing thou art now called unto The purpose of his will Let not afflictions trouble thee Believe and stand thou still If that the Lord did not thee love He would not this pains take To let thee see his grace in thee And also thee awake It sâ—owers away the drâ—sâ—â— from thee And takes away thy tinne It makes thy soul sit for to hear The voice of thy sweet King It makes the soul further to know The Sonship of his grace And weanes the soul from things below That it mâ—y seek his face It puts the wise to see his work And puts him in the way That he may forthwith seek the Lord Without further delay It makâ—s him now resolve upon Obedience to his grace And watchful in the way he goes That he may seek his face It makes him look for strenght from God To heale his sliding back It makes him look up to the Rock For that vvhich he dot lack This was November the 20. in the Year 1656. ZION is God's precious plant The Lord vvill vvatter it every day O! Zion is God's holy one It shall not vvhet her nor decay Zion is that fenced vvell A Tovver that none shall throvv dovâ—n O! Zion