according to their various Apprehensions and Inclinations the Vain and Carnal ones thought she was in Love and upon that Theam the Spicket of their Tongues were loosned to vent the Froth of their Hearts Indeed their thoughts about Love was not amiss only they were miserably mistaken both in the Nature and in the Object of it the Byass of her Affections ran towards an unseen Jesus whom the World never knew and as a Chaos of Darkness cannot comprehend Her deep Care and Concern was for her Immortal Soul which all that are in the Gall of Bitterness and in the Bond of Iniquity and all of the World are so have no Thought or Anxiety about 'T is present not future Happiness that they are in the eager pursuit of But the People of God in these Parts who had passed through the Pangs of the New Birth themselves and therefore capable of judging her Condition very well knew the Nature of her Distemper and the unexpressibleness of her Woe according to Sol mon's Apothegm The Spirit of a Man may sustain his Infirmity but a wounded Spirit who can bear These I say pittied her and heartily sympathized with her in her Spiritual Dolours and they arose every one from his own place like Job's Friends and came to bemoan her and to comfort her for they saw the Grief of her Soul was very great And indeed she had a very large room beyond whatever I knew of one under her Circumstances in the Hearts and Affections of the best Saints amongst us abundantly manifested in their frequent Visiting her and inviting her to their Houses taking no small Pains with her to strengthen her feeble Knees to support her fainting Spirits and to refresh her wearied Soul pined away almost to Death by communicating their Experiences of God's working upon their Hearts in the day of his first appearing to them when he opened their Eyes and turned them from Darkness unto Light and from the Power of Satan unto God and gave them a joyful Sense of the Forgiveness of their Sins and a comfortable Taste of the Inheritance which they shall for ever have among them that are Sanctified by Faith which is in Christ Jesus And what Refreshments after many sad and sore Conflicts they particularly found from the Presence of the Lord reflecting on them with the Rays of his Beauty and the Beams of his Glory and what Comfortable Dawnings yea Ravishing Shinings they very often had after a dark stormy night And this every one did according to the Measure of their Attainment and Experience They all as Fliphaz Bildad and Zophaz spake unto her by turns and then they all return'd to speak unto her but though in their reiterated speaking they said all this yea more than this yet it had little or no Effect upon her she remain'd notwithstanding all possible Endeavours used and unwearied Pains taken by many Precious Sons and Daughters of Zion in a very distressed and disconsolate State even Mourning as one without hope She seem'd in her mournful Gesture and doleful Behaviour to speak in the Sad and Melancholy Language of the Church Is it nothing to you all ye that pass by Behold and see if there be any Sorrow like unto my Sorrow which is done unto me wherewith the Lord hath afflicted me in the day of his fierce Anger From above hath he sent Fire into my Bones and it prevailed against them He hath spread a Net for my Feet he hath turned me back he hath made me Desolate and Faint all the day For these things I Weep mine Eye runneth down with Water because the Comforter that should relieve my Soul is far from me And again I am that Maid that hath seen Affliction by the Rod of his Wrath. He hath led me and brought me into Darkness but not into Light Surely against me is he turned he hath turned his Hand against me all the day My Flesh and my Skin hath he made old he hath broken my Bones He hath budded against me and compassed me with Gall and Travel He hath set me in dark places as they that be dead of old He hath hedged me about that I cannot get out he hath made my Chain heavy Also when I cry and shout he shutteth out my Prayer These Oh! these were the Hierogliphick Bemoanings of her Soul in every minute Circumstance of her Carriage Indeed her watry Eyes her pale Cheeks her ghastly Countenance her trembling Joynts the great Disorder and Confusion of her outward and inward Man mournfully spoke in a silent yet pathetical Dialect what Job spoke with his Lips Have pitty upon me O ye my Friends have pitty upon me for the Hand of God hath touched me Though this was the Language of her mournful Gesture to all that were near her yet was not her Mouth closed she articulately spoke many bitter and doleful things Truly it would have melted an Heart of Stone I am sure it did mine to have heard her daily Bemoanings and her nightly Lamentations And that in a Tone as I have sometimes verily thought scarcely Humane She had no delight in any thing no ease in her Spirit no Satisfaction in her Mind no Comfort alone or in Company Her Harp was turned into Mourning and her Organ into the Voice of them that Weep She was made to possess Months of Vanity and wearisome nights were appointed for her She was full of tossings to and fro to the dawning of the day Hence it was she could not refrain her Mouth but did grievously speak in the Anguish of her Spirit and lamentably complain in the Bitterness of her Soul How often would she cry out there was none in the World so bad as she my Heart is harder than any Body can conceive or possibly imagine I do not I cannot love Christ or have any desire after him I am as dry as a Stick as Sapless as a Stone I cannot believe I cannot repent I cannot Pray I have not one good thought and therefore it cannot otherwise be but I must Perish for ever In these dolorous Bemoanings she even wasted and pined away She was weary with her Groaning all the night she made her Bed to swim yea she water'd her Couch with her Tears Her Eye was consumed because of Grief it waxed old because of the Enemy of her Salvation who provoked her to Despondency and to a roaring out for Sorrow because the Lord had hid his Face from her and left her to struggle with those Temptations of Horror that like the Sons of Zerviah were too hard for her And though many excellent Saints and experienced Christians as the Sons and Daughters of Jacob upon Joseph's supposed Death arose to comfort her and left no means unessay'd in order thereunto yet she like Jacob refused to be comforted and seemed with him resolved to go to the Grave Mourning Thus he wept thus she mourn'd as one that had no hope and that continually Her Chamber was a perfect Rama where no
and severest Affliction And it is more than imply'd that Jonah apprehended this when he thus cried to him The Israelites were to eat no Leavened Bread with the Sacrifice of their Passover but the unleavened Bread of Affliction Deut. 16.3 That they might remember what they were once in Egypt and the gracious Design God had towards them even in that Bondage State Oh! a Belief of this glorious Truth would allay the tempestuous Sea of Sorrow when our Souls are bowed down with Anguish Fourthly God will appear as answering of Prayer in the greatest Affliction When Jonah was crying he heard by an Ear of Faith God answering And so we find Israel acknowledging Deut. 26.7 And when we cryed unto the Lord God of our Fathers the Lord heard our voice and looked on our Affliction and our Labour and our Oppression He is a Prayer-hearing God and then especially when Prayer comes from the Anguish and Bitterness of the Soul And we have not only the Experience of his afflicted People in all Ages to witness this Truth but his own express word for it Psalm 50.15 Call upon me in the day of trouble I will deliver thee and thou shalt glorifie me Oh! who would not beg hard for a Praying Heart and a Crying Tongue when the blessed God has such an hearing Ear. Secondly The other word that Jonah here sets forth the Misery of his Condition by is Hell Out of the belly of Hell cryed I From whence I remark'd these Observations First Poor Creatures and yet Elect Vessels may be in very dreadful Torments their Souls may be in very doleful Agonies Hell is a place of Torment 't is said of the rich Man Luke 16.23 In Hell he lift up his Eyes being in Torments Hence great and grievous Soul-troubles are Metaphorically called Hell David speaks in the same Language Psalm 18.5 The Sorrows of Hell compassed me about Now then when Jonah said here Out of the belly of Helâ— cryed I It is as if he had said In the midst of dreadful Torments and anguish of Soul I cryed to my God Secondly Poor Creatures may be surrounded with Sorrows every way from above from below from without from within thus David speaks of his case Psalm 116.3 The Sorrows of Death compassed me and the Pains of Hell gat hold upon me I found Trouble and Sorrow That is he was compassed about every way with Woe and Misery As Job's Messengers came from every Corner sinking his Spirits with ill News and piercing his Soul with the Darts of disconsolate Tidings Job 1.16 So many chosen Vessels of the Lord may be beset with Troubles and Sorrows of every kind which may make them roar and cry out as those without hope Thirdly Poor Creatures may be worried and hurried by the Temptations of the Devil which is a Species of Hells Torture As the Tongue is said to be set on Fire of Hell James 3.6 So the Spirits of tempted ones may be and too often are borne down and kept under the Hatches by the Tyranny of Hells Monarch We find Paul complaining of a Thorn in the Flesh the Messenger of Satan buffeting him 2 Cor. 12.7 Oh! it is an Hell upon Earth to be in the Claws of Hells roaring Lyon Fourthly Poor Creatures may be for a time conquered and overcome by Hells Sorrows though The Gates of Hell shall not absolutely prevail Matt. 16.18 yet they may a great while and in a great measure prevail over many precious Children of Zion though God's chosen ones shall not be left to remain always in Hell as David personating Christ spake with respect to the Grave Psalm 16.10 Yet they may be left a long time under the power of Hell to be crying out as though they were for ever lost Then I took notice of the Dolefulness of Jonah's Complaint as we have it in the third Verse For thou hadst cast me into the Deep in the midst of the Seas and the Floods compassed me about all thy Billows and thy Waves passed over me Wherein there is Metaphorically set forth First The Sense he had of Sin as the deserving Cause of what he now so lamentably groaned under Thou hadst cast me into the Deep and that deservedly for my horrid and crying Sin of Disobedience of which mention is made Chap. 1.1 2 3. Now the Word of the Lord came unto Jonah the Son of Amittai saying Arise go to Nineveh that great City and cry against it for their Wickedness is come up before me But Jonah rose up to flee unto Tarshish from the presence of the Lord. Here we find him shamefully turning his Back upon the Commands of his God and now in the Deep he is sadly sensible of it and broken in Heart for it So in like manner we find the Church acknowledging and that in a Soul-humbled and debased way Lam. 5.15 16. The Joy of our Heart is ceased our Dance is turned into Mourning The Crown is fallen from our head Woe unto us that we have sinned Ah! happy if under the weight of Grief we have a Sense of the Evil of Sin Secondly He was under Terrors of Conscience and miserable Confusion in his Spirit this is imply'd in the vvord Seas In the midst of the Seas That he vvas literally cast into the Seas vve read Chap. 1.15 So they took up Jonah and cast him forth into the Sea But besides this he vvas in a mystical Sense in the Sea that is under the Rackings of a vvounded Spirit under the Bitings of a stinging Conscience So that he vvas as the Prophet told Pashur he should be Jer. 20.3 Magor Missabib even a Terror to himself Oh! Terrors of Conscience are the vvorst of Sea-storms Thirdly He was over-whelmed with Sorrow and this is imply'd in the word Floods And the Floods compassed me about So that his Spirit as well as his Body sunk as Lead in the mighty Waters As it was said of Pharaoh and his Host when they were drowned in the Red Sea Exod. 15.10 Our Saviour thus expresses the Misery that shall come upon all incorrigible Sinners Matt. 18.6 It were better for him that a Mill-stone were hanged about his Neck and that he were drowned in the depth of the Sea Oh! who can be sensible of the Troubles and Miseries wherewith poor Jonah was overwhelmed when he was in the Sea Fourthly He was closely confined not only as to his Body but narrowly pent up as to his Spirit This is included in the word Billows All thy Billows and thy Waves passed over me We read indeed of his being in the Whales Belly Chap. 1.17 And as that miserably confin'd his Body so his Spirit was worse restrain'd through the awful Sense of Divine Displeasure As David's once was Psalm 42.7 Deep calleth unto deep at the noise of thy Water-spouts All thy Waves and thy Billows are gone over me Ah! how sad 't is when the Soul is depressed groveling in the Dust and cannot look up for want of Strength and Faith
which as yet is none of the softest like the Babe in Elisabeth's Womb leap within me for Joy This indeed indeared you very much to me and set me a Longing to be partaker of your Heavenly Gift and though I had several Letters from several Persons that spake very largely of you and the wonderful Things God did by you and that at such a Rate if I had not known them to be Men of Sobriety Faithfulness and eminent Piety I should certainly have Judg'd they had flown in their Language above the Capacity of an Hyperbole to bring 'em safely off yet early at my Return when I went my self to Chichester and saw the unusual Seriousness of the vast Auditory and the extraordinary Going forth of your Spirit both in Prayer and Preaching I was strangely amazed and forc'd to say with the Queen of Sheba The half of your deserved Fame was not told me and made this Remark in my own Breast There was no such Sight to be seen any where in our Israel and therefore left others to consider of it and speak their Minds And if the Lord goes on as he has graciously and wonderfully begun Chichester will be the Place of Religion in the South of England and we may take in the rest of the Points of the Compass Verily you have or rather the Great Jehovah by you lighted such a Candle there that the Enemies of Free-Grace with all their Tricks and Artifices with all their Growling and Grumbling with all their Lying and Slandering with all their Noise and Clamour yea with all their Cunning and Priest-craft will never be able to put out for Magna est veritas prevalebit Dagon must and shall fall before the Ark of the Living God Dear Brother I am in a large Field whilst I have your noble Chichesterian Acts under review which will be for ever your Praise in the Gates of the Daughter of Zion and your Eternal Rejoycing in the day of the Lord Jesus and so very large is this Field that I despair of finding the way out and therefore must be forc'd to stand still breaking forth in the Apostle's Admiration O the Depth of the Riches both of the Wisdom and Knowledge of God how unsearchable are his Judgments and how are his Ways past finding out Or taking up the Dictates of the Holy Spirit in the Mouth of Balaam According to this time it shall be said of Jacob and of Israel Ay and now of Chichester too what has God wrought And though you did good even beyond Conception very much good even beyond Parallel whilst these Parts were Blessed with your Presence yet really the Good by way of Emphasis and which will be the most Sparkling Jewel in the Crown wherewith your Master will crown you in the Day of his Appearing was your speaking Peace to this Blessed Saint whose Sad Life is the Subject of the following Tract You were chosen out by the Lord of the Harvest and preferr'd before any of his Labourers to bring a Message of Peace and Comfort to her drooping Soul great Pains were used and many Essays made to effect a Cure upon her but alas all in vain No Words were wanting no Labour was spared no Gospel ways untryed for the easing her distressed Mind but all to no purpose If Prayers and Tears if publick and private Wrestlings with God if setting a-part Solemn Days if the spending part of many Nights if communicating of Experiences if opening and inculcating of the Promises if frequent Visits and labouring all manner of ways with her What shall I say If imparting the very Secrets of my Soul and all the Mysteries and Wonders of Grace my Gracious God ever made known to me in his Christ had any thing availed she had not been in those Shades of Horrid Darkness you found her For I can say in all Sincerity as Paul to the Corinthians My Mouth was opened my Heart was enlarged towards her Oh! how often did my Soul Mourn in Secret because I could not help her How many Tears did I shed in private because no words I spoke could take hold on her I was too unworthy of such an Honour My Poor Labours through the Influence of a Divine Blessing awakened her out of a Natural State but Success was denied to my Endeavours how great soever to Administer any Ease or Comfort That was your alotted Task by him with whom is the Residue of the Spirit Oh! to this end were you Born and for this cause came you unto Chichester to bear Witness unto the Truth to Gospel-truth Light and special Grace for the lifting up this Dear Languishing Soul who would not see who could not believe there was any Love or Redeeming Mercy for her till it was confirmed to her from your Lips then she saw the Beauty of the Lord as the Morning and the Glory of Jehovah her Righteousness as the Noon-day There was indeed before a Wind a Gale of Gospel-Truths that continually blew upon her but the Lord was not in the Wind There was a Fire of Zeal kindled in the Breasts of Ministers and many others always flaming in her Bosom but the Lord was not in the Fire and therefore though there was Balm enough fetch'd from Gilead and applied to her Wounds yet this Sorrowful Daughter of Jerusalem was not Healed till you came and God came with you as a Welcome Messenger of Salvation Then Oh! then the Son of Righteousness arose with Healing in his Wings in the Horizon of her Soul Then did the day break and the Shadows began to fly away and then did her Beloved come leaping over the Mountains and skipping over the Hills unto her Oh! Happy was the time wherein you first saw her and Blessed was the day in which it was told her Behold there is a Watch-man of the Lord 's sending a Work-man of the Lord 's preparing go and hear what he has to say to you As the Lord's way of Judgment so his ways of Mercy are in the Deep and his Footsteps coming towards a Poor Creature for Good and Comfort are not known So far am I from the Mode of this Generation to envy you or repine that you should do that in a few days which I could not do in many Months that the Lord knows I Love Honour Prize and Value you the more for it and you are much dearer to me since than ever you were before To you therefore I dedicate this short History of her Life and Death as that which of right belongs to you You knew her and was well known to her You pittied her in her doleful Agonies and took a great deal of Pains with her to help her out of the Deep Pit into which she was so horribly sunk The Lord reward you yea he will abundantly reward you for all your great Labour of Love to her precious Soul You were very high in her Esteem and exceeding Dear she never spoke of you but with wonderful Respect heartily
this Maiden-Gentlewoman another was awaken'd by it who is since joyn'd to our Church But I told Mrs. Mary she argued wrongly against her self for if the Gospel were indeed hid from her she would have no manner of Sense of that judgment for all that are Reprobates and so in a lost State the Gospel being hid from them are past feeling having their Consciences seared as with an hot Iron But you said I having thorough Mercy such a quick Feeling and being so awfully apprehensive of the Dreadfulness of the Judgment are so far from having the Gospel hid from you that you may be assured God is Graciously coming towards you to reveal the Beauty and Glory of it unto you This did not satisfie her but persisting in her Despairing Language told me she was in a Perishing Condition and should be Damn'd I asking a Reason of this Desperate Conclusion she with a Ghastly Look and Mournful Accent answered I have been a great Sinner and there is no Mercy or Pardon for me What shall I do What will become of me for ever At the pronouncing of these words she Trembled wrung her Hands and wept bitterly Upon which I applied my self to her in the following Terms Mrs. Mary You through Ignorance as yet of the Gospel are guilty of a great Mistake in inferring an Impossibility of Pardon from the Greatness of your Sins For this is to argue against the Nature of Free-Grace which overtakes and fastens hold on the very Greatest and Worst of Sinners And against the Compact of the Father and the Son in the Covenant of Redemption For as in that Covenant the Father on his part promiseth the sending down of his Spirit to bow and bend the Wills and incline the Hearts of the most Obstinate and Rebellious Sinners to lay hold upon a Saviour by a true and lively Faith So the Son on his part promised to give himself a Propitiatory Sacrifice upon the Cross sufficient to atone the greatest Sins any of the Posterity of Adam could possibly be guilty of whereby to the Amazement of Men and Angels Pardon is not only a Gracious but a Righteous Act in God and the Sinner may plead for it upon account of that Everlasting Atonement made by the Son of God This the Apostle John who lean'd on Christ's Bosom and thereby knew the Secrets of his Heart and the Wonders of Redeeming Grace flowing from his Lips I say he even he plainly declares and clearly holds forth this adorable Truth in that Gospel-Apothegm 1 Epist 1.9 If we confess our Sins he is Faithful and Just mark that to forgive us our Sins and to cleanse us from all Vnrighteousness Moreover I farther told her this arguing is against the very literal meaning of many Sweet and Precious Promises made by the Lord himself on purpose to put such Poor Distressed Creatures as you are out of Doubt of his Grace and Mercy As that in Isa 1.18 Come now and let us reason together saith the Lord though your Sins be as Scarlet they shall be as white as Snow though they be red like Crimson they shall be as Wool Come Mrs. Mary said I What do you think of this Reasoning from the Richness of the Covenant of Grace and from the Infiniteness of that Satisfaction made for Sin by the Lord Jesus Christ the Mediator of the New Covenant Her answer was This Promise belongs to those that are in Christ but I am far enough from him and have no mind to him nor no Heart to believe in him nor can I do any thing that is good I told her she spoke as a Legalist not yet acquainted with the Way and Mystery of the Gospel which calls Persons from themselves and shews them their utter Inability and Incapacity to do any thing of themselves Then I turn'd her to another Promise Isa 43.24 Thou hast bought me no sweet Cane with Money neither hast thou filled me with the Fat of thy Sacrifices but thou hast made me to serve with thy Sins thou hast wearied me with thine Iniquities I ask'd her what she could say worse of her self than God said of this People so full of all manner of Abominations But yet said I Pray observe the two next Verses 25 26. I even I am he that blotted out thy Transgressions for my own sake and will not remember thy Sins Put me in remembrance let us plead together Declare thou that thou mayest be Justified I told her from these words that a putting God in remembrance of his Gracious Promise to pardon and forgive Sin any Sin all Sins how great soever and to blot out all Iniquities let their Magnitude or Multitude be what it will upon the account of Christ's infinite Satisfaction which he has given to Divine Justice and an humble yet earnest Pleading the avail of it at the Throne of Grace would be more pleasing and acceptable to God and far more Comfortable and Beneficial for her than thus in Diffidence and Despair to lye down under the Sense of Guilt and give up her self as lost precluding thereby the Operation of the Spirit of God which would work a saving Repentance unto Life in her The answer she made was This Promise how Sweet soever in it self it was could be of no use nor afford any Comfort to her in her present Condition for that she could not Pray or Plead at all and her Heart was quite barr'd and bolted against any good Motion or Inclination and she was as one wholly destitute of the Spirit and forsaken of God And then lamentably cry'd out My Day is past and I am Undone Undone I ask'd her if ever she was in the like Condition before She answered No never in her Life Then I told her What she had said was not could not be true if God's Word may be believ'd for according to that none but those who were Once enlightned which she never was before and have tasted of the Heavenly Gift which she never before did and were made Partakers of the Holy Ghost which did never stir in her before and have tasted the good Word of God the relish and savor of which she never before understood and the Powers of the World to come to which she had been hitherto altogether a Stranger can possibly be in danger of having their Day past And therefore this being the first time of God's coming towards her in an awakening manner alarming her Soul with the Sense of a Future State though her Sins were so terribly set in order before her yet her distracting and terrifying Fears were without any Scriptural Ground For as I farther alledg'd this was God's common way of dealing with those whom he design'd special Love and Mercy to first to shew them their lost and undone Condition by Nature as they are the wretched Off-spring of Fallen Adam and to shake them over the Scorching Flames of Hell and make them tremblingly apprehensive of his deserved Wrath and Indignation that so the Redemption
other Voice but that of Wo Lamentation and bitter Bewailing was day and night to be heard Insomuch that she was an Heart-breaking Grief to her Friends a Burthen to her self and an amazing Spectacle of Astonishment to all that look'd upon her The Lord Pardon the Hardness of my Heart that having these things under review I am no more affected Never did I see such a Mournful Sight never did I hear such a doleful Sound and I think never was there a Creature more exactly like in Sorrow to her Redeemer in the day of his Humiliation when he said of himself My Soul is exceeding Sorrowful and heavy unto Death I had great Thoughts and Akeings of Heart about her what the Issue of these things would be my very Soul travelled in Birth till Christ was formed in her till she was made through the up-lifting of the Spirit to arise and shine as seeing Light to be come and the Glory of the Lord to be risen upon her I pray'd for her I pray'd with her I cry'd day and night to the mighty God of Jacob in her behalf I wept I sigh'd I sobb'd my Heart was ready to break my Soul mourn'd in secret places because the Chariot-wheels of Deliverance drove so heavily on I chose suitable Subjects as I thought for her Condition to Preach upon in publick and did many times apply what I delivered particularly to her She sate just against me in the next Pew to the Pulpit Her Eyes were continually fixed on me but with so ghastly and pittiful a look which had such an Impression on me that I could scarce refrain Tears whenever I cast my Eyes upon her She always repair'd after Evening Sermon to the Repetition Lecture in the middle of the Town carried on by a Godly Zealous Brother of our Church who never failed to pour out his Soul in Prayer to God for her and that in a most affectionate melting manner I was many times as oft as my Weakness would permit there my self and when all was over I used to take her by the Hand and smilingly ask her Come Dear Mrs. Mary how is it with you has God spoken any thing to your Soul to day Have you relish'd and savor'd any thing you have heard Her answer I very well remember was always the same No my Heart is too hard I have not been in the least sensible of any thing you have deliver'd this day you had as good have Preach'd to a Stone as to me And then pulling her Hood over her Eyes to hide her Tears would pensively go away for she could never bear to be long in any Company This Oh! this filled my Heart with unexpressible Sadness that no word how suitable soever would fasten that no Truth how Pertinent soever would take hold on her that one Sabbath came successively after another but she never the better her Soul was not at all refresh'd by any Waters flowing from the Sanctuary I want words to tell you how my wounded Spirit was upon the Rack how my disturbed Mind was in a Flame for this young disconsolate Gentlewoman who was so miserably walking in Darkness that she could see no Light who was so wofully under the Gripings of Satan that she could by no means be perswaded to trust in the Name of the Lord or stay her self upon her God In this deplorable State lying among the Pots she continued many Weeks without any sensible Alteration unless for the worse That she was in a lost undone Condition having an hard unbelieving Heart without any Interest in Christ or like to have any was the Versus intercularis or the Burthen of the Song in her continued uninterrupted dolorous Complaint At last in the midst of some serious Discourse she desired me to keep a day with her to seek the Lord for her to which I willingly consented as very glad of the Motion she desired some other Minister might be also assistant in the Work to which I freely gave way She then ask'd me what Minister would be most acceptable to me I answered I was very indifferent and desired her to please her self and she would not nor could not displease me She propounded Mr. Earl of Gospert who I think was some Relation to her I told her with all my Heart Accordingly we met at a Private House in the Town with several Christian Friends Mr. Earl began with Prayer and I with Preaching from these words Psal 43.5 Why art thou cast down O my Soul And why art thou disquieted within me Hope in God for I shall yet Praise him who is the Health of my Countenance and my God I directed my Discourse wholly to her and spake all as far as God help'd me that I could judge proper for her to hear under the Circumstances she at that time was she sate at the Table just against me fixing her Eyes constantly on me with a doleful and pitty-commanding look But nothing I said as I could by after-discourse perceive made any Impression on her After I concluded with Prayer Mr. Earl then Preach'd his Text was John 14.27 Peace I leave with you my Peace I give unto you not as the World giveth give I unto you She was in appearance a great deal worse after this day than she was before Her Temptations were more rampant her Breakings-out in bitter and dismal Complaints were more violent and her Sorrow great enough before did every way more abundantly increase which made my Soul mourn in secret breathing forth the sad words of the Church O Lord God of Hosts how long wilt thou be angry against the Prayer of thy People Thou feedest this poor Creature with the Bread of Tears and givest her Tears to drink in great measure One night very late I cannot forget it I was sent for in all haste to her when I came I found her in the most dreadful Agonies under the most horrible Consternation of Spirit as 't was possible for any of the Children of Men on this side the Lake of Burning to be possessed with She cry'd she roar'd out in a most terrible manner even beyond an humane Accent as if she had been at the brink of Hell ready to be swallowed up in the bottomless Gulf The Sorows of Death compassed her and the Pains of Hell took hold upon her yea she found Trouble and to the Amazement and Sorrow even to the Astonishment of all that were in the Chamber with her I was at my Wits end what to do to speak any thing I too evidently saw was but in vain and yet I could not I dar'd not be silent She took no notice of any words upon what Topick soever enforced nor in the least minded the Sluces of Consolation how Sweet and Pleasant soever that were opened to her I pray'd and intreated her I begg'd and beseeched her I spoke to her in the most moving and melting Language I was capable to utter and that with Tears in my Eyes with Contrition in my
Heaven she should not be found naked Yet again V. 8. Now when I passed by thee and looked upon thee Behold thy time was the time of Love and I spread my skirt over thee and covered thy nakedness Yea I sware unto thee and entred into a Covenant with thee saith the Lord God and thou becamest mine Oh! verily Novv vvas the time of Love as to her Soul Novv vvas the Holy Jesus coming tovvards her his Face shining vvith the resplendent Beauty of Gospel-Grace and Love saying to her I am thy Saviour and thou art in the number of my Redeemed ones I vvill cover thee vvith the Glorious Robe of my Everlasting Righteousness and thou shalt appear therein without Spot or Wrinkle before my Father and before the Holy Angels Therefore cease thy Grief dry up thy Tears For though thou hast lien among the Pots yet now thou shalt be as the Wings of a Dove covered with Silver and her Feathers with yellow Gold And novv thou shalt knovv that I have loved thee with an everlasting Love for with loving-kindness will I draw thee Mr. Robins as though he had been as I doubt not but he vvas specially directed from above preached that day from these vvords Luke 22.31 32. And the Lord said Simon Simon Behold Satan hath desired to have you that he may sift you as Wheat But I have prayed for thee that thy Faith fail not Which he so managed through the assistance of God's Spirit and brought so many Gospel-Cordials and Comforts from it as gave abundant satisfaction to this languishing Mourner insomuch that her Sorrovvs like the Waters of the Flood apparently vvere abated and her long Captivity seem'd to be turning about as the Rivers of the South She vvas so sensible that this Holy Man vvas a Messenger sent of God to her an Interpreter one among a thousand to shew unto her the Ransom God has found and accepted for poor Sinners and for her in particular and to declare the glad Tidings of Salvation to her Soul resulting from therein that she immediately repaired to Chichester and attended upon the Word dropping from Mr. Robins his Lips during his stay there Mr. Robins after a little time planted a Church there such an amazing Change was wrought on many by the mighty Power of God accompanying his Ministerial Labours and this Plant God has since abundantly water'd with the Dew of his Blessing so that 't is now as the Garden of God the pleasant Field which the Lord of Hosts delights to bless Mrs. Mary Harrison after frequent Conferences with Mr. Robins and being enlightned by him in the Mystery of Gospel-Grace and Love joyn'd her self with the Church and sate down at the Table with them at their first Solemnity of breaking Bread yet on this Condition to be redismiss'd to the Church at Havant when they were Organically compleated and so in a Capacity to do it But before this could be effected she was translated to a better Church than either even To the General Assembly and Church of the First-born which are in Possession of the Glorious Mansions of Heaven And to the Spirits of Just Men made Perfect among whom she is and ever will be with her God In whose presence there is fulness of Joy and at whose right-hand there are Pleasures for evermore Glad was I yea my very Soul rejoyced at my return from London to find such an amazing Change in her for now she could speak in the Language of Canaan now she could discourse in the Dialect of the new Jerusalem praising the Lord for his Redeeming Goodness Now she could tell her Lips being opened in a wonderful manner the delightful Stories of God's marvelous Dispensations towards her in a way of special Grace and Favour for now she saw in part and that part filled her with inexpressible Comfort The Good of God's Chosen Now in spite of all Satan's Suggestions and Hellish Machinations she could rejoyce in the Gladness of God's Nation And now notwithstanding the late Cloud that was upon her the late darkening Eclipse that quite overspread her she could Glory with God's Inheritance For now she heard the Voice of her Beloved speaking to her Cant. 2.10 11 12. Rise up my Love my fair one and come away For lo the Winter is past the Rain is over and gone The Flowers appear on the Earth the time of the singing of Birds is come and the voice of the Turtle is heard in our Land Oh! then Arise my Love my fair one and come away Again Verse 14. O my Dove that art in the Clefts of the Rock that is hid in the Eternal Electing Love of God in the secret places of the Stairs that is kept secretly from sinking though wofully tossed with the Waves and Billows of Temptation Let me see thy Countenance let me hear thy Voice for sweet is thy Voice and thy Countenance is comely And therefore Now we that were mournfully bemoaning of her rejoyced with her yea with loud Peals of Joy blessed and praised God for her Yet she had her Ebbings as well as Flowings and Fears as well as Comforts after this And her Discourses were very often mixed with Mistrustings and Doubtings of her self She had now and then the dark side as well as the bright side of the Cloud to shew that she was not yet beyond the reach of Satan's Snarlings though above the force of his rampant Power Hence to her dying hour she serv'd the Lord with Fear and rejoyced before him with Trembling She always had a Dread upon her Spirit of miscarrying under which I laboured what I could to support her A little after Mr. Robins left Chichester came down that Sweet and most Spiritual Preacher Mr. Hammond to the new Meeting-house at which juncture of time I was confined to my Bed by a severe Fit of Sickness which I and so did others thought had been unto Death But my Gracious God in whose Hands our times are order'd it otherwise Now by reason I was wholly uncapable of Preaching most of my People that had Horses went to Chichester to hear Mr. Hammond among whom precious Mrs. Mary Harrison was none of the backwardest But Oh! with what wonderful Refreshing and enlivening in her Inward Man did she return She presently come to my Bed-side and told me what a rich Cordial she had that day which was so Comforting so Ravishing to her she was even ready to break forth into the Virgin Mary's Extasie My Soul doth magnifie the Lord and my Spirit hath rejoyced in God my Saviour For verily Jehovah regarded the low Estate of this Hand-maiden and he that is mighty did great things to her that day in putting such a Word of Comfort and Support in the Mouth of his dear Servant for her Oh! Holy is his Name Mr. Hammond was upon that Text Jer. 31.3 The Lord hath appeared of old unto me saying yea I have loved thee with an Everlasting Love therefore with Loving-kindness have I drawn thee
To give him Satisfaction next time I preach'd on the Week-day several Members coming into my House after Sermon as also Mrs. Mary Harrison I then broke the business to them and desired them to give me their Thoughts upon it Every one spoke his Mind some were violent against it others more moderate on the foregoing Considerations but in short they went away without coming to any Result After they were gone precious Mrs. Mary I shall never forget it took me by the Hand and with Tears in her Eyes very earnestly spoke the following words Good Dear Sir beat off my Brother Betsworth from going to the Wedding and I will do what I can to make up his loss These were her very words but the manner of speaking them and the Agony of her Spirit in speaking them is above the power of a far better Pen than mine lively to set forth The other Story is In the days of her Vanity before God touch'd her Heart seeing the Key in her Father's Desk or Trunk she took thence some Money under twenty Shillings to buy her some fine things on which her Mind was wholly set with the greatest eagerness that could be But Oh! what an unspeakable Horror had she in her Conscience for this in the day of her Conviction she often complain'd or rather roar'd about it to me that she was a Thief and had stolen Money from her Father The Devil was not wanting to aggravate the matter for the farther perplexing her already too much disturbed Soul At last she told me she must tell her Father of it and ask him Forgiveness for it I confess I laboured to disswade her from it fearing he being her Father-in-Law it might be of bad Consequence Telling her that though it was very ill done yet being several Years since and she one of the Family I thought a thorough Sense of the Evil of it which 't was plain she had and seeking Pardon oâ— God in the Blood of Christ was sufficient for though Confession of Wrong done in other cases was necessary yet Prudence forbade it in this case under her Circumstances and the state of the Family Several knowing Christians to whom she communicated this Affair concur'd with my Judgment but this did not Satisfy her she still persisted in her Resolution of confessing it to her Father And one Night as I was with her late after Prayer being about to leave her she told me she would not nor could not keep this thing any longer from her Father's Knowledge she had such a Fire burning in her Conscience which was not to be quenched till she did it I reply'd If that was her absolute Determination I desir'd I might be by to back it not knowing how her Father might resent it To which she consenting we sent down for him but he was either Busie with Company or at Supper and I not being willing to stay longer it was defer'd till next day But after I was gone and the Family with her self also in Bed about Midnight so powerful and influential was her terrifying Conscience she rose up and as I think slipping on her Night-gown ran to her Father's Chamber and approaching his Bedside in a penitential heart-moving Tone confess'd her Guilt to him upon hearing of it He to his honour like a generous honest tender-hearted Man freely forgave her to her no small Comfort The next day after Dinner at the Hour appointed I went to her expecting the performance of what she had been so long harping upon but when she told me she had already done it and where and in what manner Oh! how was my Soul struck with Amazement I presently thought on Solomon's words Prov. 14.10 The heart knoweth his own Bitterness and a Stranger doth not intermeddle with his Joy O blessed God thought I how does this young Convert outstrip those of the highest Form in thy House I confess I had much higher thoughts of her and much lower thoughts of my self ever after that Day But stay I am call'd to Hearken and Oh! that you and all that read this Tract would Hearken with me to what John heard Rev. 14.17 And I heard a Voice from Heaven saying unto me Write Blessed are the Dead which dye in the Lord from henceforth yea saith the Spirit that they may rest from their Labours and their Works do follow them Ah! this holy Virgin is One of the blessed Dead that do rest from her Labours of Sorrow and Anguish for Sin and her Works of Faith Repentance and Love do follow her This heavenly Lamb when she escap'd the Gin That Satan laid and after was let in Jehovah's Courts Oh! how she dreaded Sin Its Fear did pierce her Soul and made her Body thin Seventhly As after Conviction she had a dread of Sin of any Sin so more especially of her own Sin of her former beloved Sin Pride Certainly never was any Creature below a Glorify'd State more Mortify'd to that particular Sin than she was Oh with what Loathing Abhorrence and Disdain would She speak of it David accounted it an undeceivable mark of Sincerity that he was got above his darling Lust Psalm 18.23 I was also upright before him and I kept my self from mine Iniquity What David's Iniquity was I may Guess but not Conclude but this I am sure Pride was hers And she through the mighty power of Grace kept her self from it It was her right Eye and she was enabled to pluck it out it was her right Hand and she had power from God to cut it off that she might be fit for the Kingdom of God Mat. 5.29 30. From the day of her Conviction when the terrors of the Almighty took hold of her off went her Top-Knots and all superfluous Finery and never put on more what was her Glory before was her Shame now Her adorning was no longer the outward adorning of plaiting the hair the wearing of Gold or putting on of Apparel but the hidden Man of the heart in that which is not Corruptible even the Ornament of a meek and quiet Spirit which is in the sight of God of great Price Oh that all the young Ladies and Gentlewomen in England had seen her ghastly Looks and heard how dolefully she bemoan'd her self for her horrid Pride which was once so Rampant in her It could not I think but be an effectual Antidote against their staying so long at the Glass and being so curiously exact in decking and adorning the outside of their decaying Bodies Oh! if they had beheld as I and many others did how dear and costly this Sin was to this young Damsel they would sure be more afraid of it She was weeping and Crying and continually Lamenting the pride of her vain heart But as it is said of the Church she had the Moon that is the World under her feet so this precious Saint had at last the Sin of Pride under her feet and Oh! how did she trample upon it how did she contemn and despise it In
musing on this matchless Saint I cry'd Thou being so wholly dreined from all Pride As one not fit here longer to abide Go to thy Bridegroom go thou true coelestial Bride Eighthly As after Conviction she was Mortify'd to all Pride so she did in a wonderful manner beyond any President I ever saw shine forth in the contrary Grace Humility She had learned of her Saviour to be meek and lowly in heart Mat. 11.29 And so excellent well she learned that none tabernacled in a Body of Flesh could have a more Debasing thought of Self than she had She sate with Job in the Ashes and with Hezekiah counted all her Prayers and the best of her Performances but as the chattering of a Crane or Swallow Isa 38.14 The Vilest of Creatures was her constant Motto That no body was Worse that every body was better than she was the undissembled Thought of her Heart When she was most Lovely in the Eyes of others she was even then most Mean in her own she could not bear to be in the least praised nor endure that any should speak well of her though she was enabled to Sing the Lord's Song on the Borders of Canaan after her return from a long Captivity Indeed in her languishing Condition she was made Humble by God's Providence but when she was Healed she was kept Humble by his blessed Spirit This Saint beholding great Jehovah's Face Her self as low as Hell she did debase Hence 't was she flourish'd so and grew apace She was the humble one replenish'd with all Grace Ninthly After Conviction she was in a Gospel Frame wholly moulded into the Spirit of the Gospel These Two eminent Servants of the Lord Jesus Mr. Robins and Mr. Hammond led her into the Paths of Gospel Light and Truth in which she was extreamly delighted so that the extolled and muâ—h magnified Mountain of Man's Righteousness and Legal Performances became 〈◊〉 a Plain and by their Ministry the Heâ—â—â—â—stone the Lord Jesus Christ was presented to her and she was inabled by the Spirit 's Breathing in her to cry out Grace Grace unto it Zech. 4.7 Hence though Interest and Relation with some other Obligations had intangled her with another sort of Men yet after her Acquaintance with those ' foresaid great Gospel Luminaries they were very little in her Eye for She was convinced not Doing but Believing was the way of the Gospel and that not by any Works of Righteousness she had done or could do but by the Free Grace of God in Christ she was made what she was And therefore the breathing of her Soul was to be found in him not having her own Righteousness which is of the Law but that which is through the Faith of Christ the Righteousness which is of God by Faith That thereby she might know Christ and the Power of his Resurrection and the Fellowship of his Sufferings being made conformable to his death Phil. 3.9.10 Oh! how her very Soul rejoyced in the glad Tidings of the Gospel This glorious Saint admiring Gospel Light Whose most corruscant Beams did shine so Bright Whereby her Darkness was expelled quite The Gospel brought a Day a Day that had no Night Tenthly After Conviction she was inflamed with Love to her dearest Jesus yea with the Spouse she was Sick of Love Cant. 5.8 As she had a Sense of the Forgiveness of Sins as Mary had she verily Loved much as Mary did Luke 7.47 She had a large Share of Gospel Grace as the choice Blessing of Heaven for she loved the Lord Jesus Christ in Sincerity Ephes 6.24 Tho she saw not Jesus with her Bodily Eyes yet she dearly Loved him and that Love has brought her to him so that now She sees Him and is Glorifyed with him Rejoycing with Joy unspeakable and full of Glory for she has now received the end of her Faith even the Salvation of her Soul 1 Pet. 1.8 9. What things were formerly her Gain those she counted Loss for Christ yea doubtless she counted all things but Loss for the excellency of the Knowledge of Christ Jesus her Lord for whom she suffered the Loss of all things and did count them but Dung or Dog's-meat that she might win Christ. 3 Phil. 7.8 Oh Love was the ruling Star in the Firmament of her Soul Though Satan for a while did cast a Mist Over this Saint at length she saw the Christ And seeing lov'd him as her precious Priest Now with his glorious Mouth her precious Soul is Kist. Eleventhly As after Conviction she Loved Christ so she lov'd the Ways of Christ the Ordinances of Christ the Members of Christ the Ministers of Christ and that with a pure Heart fervently If our Saviour's Character of a true Disciple holds good John 13.35 By this shall all men know that ye are my Disciples if ye have Love one to another And if John's Evidence of the new Birth be any thing valid 1 Epist 3.14 We know that we are passed from Death unto Life because we love the Brethren She was as visible a Disciple as real a Regenerate Person and that to the apparent view of all as 't was possible for any Creature to be For I sincerely think never any especially in these last days possest more of the Grace of Love than she did Her very Soul was wrapt up in the Saints Society with them was her greatest yea her only Delight She had David's Spirit and therefore could say with him Psalm 26.8 Lord I have loved the habitation of thy house and the place where thine honour dwelleth I the least and most unworthy of Saints may say of her as David did of Jonathan Her love to me was wonderful passing the love of Women This Saint who Heaven ward so fast did move That She a Saint in every thing might prove As actuated from a Spirit above Most gloriously did shine within the Sphere of Love Twelfthly After her Conviction that she had tasted of the Love of Christ she was extraordinarily Solicitous even with a burning Zeal for the Conversion of Sinners especially of her own carnal Relations Her warm Discourses on this Subject put me in mind of our Lord's Charge to Peter Luke 22.32 When thou art converted strengthen thy Brethren She was wholly of Paul's Spirit when he spoke so affectionately of the Jews Rom. 10.1 Brethren my Hearts desire and prayer to God for Israel is that they might be Saved Her Soul pittied such as were running head-long to Hell her Bowels yearned towards those that had no Sense of their own Condition She could not speak of any of her near Acquaintance in an Unconverted State without Weeping for them as our Saviour did for Jerusalem and with the same Pathetical Wish Oh! that they did truly know in this their day the things that belong unto their peace The Night before She Dyed or rather Translated she express'd her self to a Godly Woman passionately Concern'd for the Soul of her only Surviving Sister with these and more
to you that are now Mourning To you that are now Weeping To you that are now so full of Sadness for this great and irreparable loss and that in the words of the same Apostle in the same Chapter verse 18. Wherefore comfort one another with these words 3dly To you also of this Society my Brethren and Sisters of this Church I would next address my self on this awful Occasion And it is to beg you to have a deep sense of the Lords hand upon us in diminishing our number in Housing our little Flock apace But the last night we were in this place Solemnizing the Funeral of a precious and beloved Sister and now we are here at the Funeral of this triumphant Damsel 'T is true she was not actually a Member of ours but virtually and intentionally she was she walk'd with us sate down vvith us and really design'd if the Lord had spared her life to be dismiss'd to us and so to be wholly ours She extreamly delighted in this Society and dearly loved every one of you But we have now left her with several others of emminent use and worth which calls for no small Lamentation and therefore I may here justly make use of the Prophets words by way of Exhortation to you Jerem. 9. v. 17 18. Thus saith the Lord of Hosts Consider ye and call for the Mourning-women that they may come and send for Cunning Women that they may come And let them make haste and take up a wailing for us that our Eyes may run down with Tears and our Eye-lids gush out with Waters Why what 's the matter What is it that calls for so much Mourning verse 21. For death is come up into our Windows and is entred into our palaces to cut off the Children from without and the young Men in the Streets Oh! How many lovely Children of God have of late been cut off in this place and now this young Flourishing Branch is so suddenly and so unexpectedly cut down from amongst us and we shall never see her more Oh How then for this sad and irreparable loss should we lament with Tears how should our Eyes be gushing out with Water for the Immature fading of so sweet a Flower Oh! Therefore from the sense of Gods displeasure in taking such Unvaluable Jewels from us Be afflicted mourn and Weep let your Laughter be turned into Mourning and your Joy into heaviness Though as to this Saint her self there is no need of it death is to her an unspeakable Gain And therefore Christs words to the Bewailing Women are applicable unto you Ye daughters of Jerusalem Weep not for me but for your selves and the Miseries that are coming upon You. Oh Methinks I hear her speaking aloud to all and every one of us in Davids Language Psal 34. v. 2.3.4 My Soul shall make her Boast in the Lord The humble shall hear thereof and be glad O Magnifie the Lord with me and let us exalt his name together I sought the Lord and he heard me and delivered me from all my Fears But for our own sakes there 's cause enough of Mourning especially from this awful consideration Accession to us does not answer the decession from us 4thly and lastly A word to all of you in this Congregation the Inhabitants of this Town and the parts adjacent And I will Preface what I have to say to you in the Words of Jotham to the Men of Shechem Judg. 9.7 Hearken I beseech you unto me that God may hearken unto you Some of you have seen all of you have heard what this deceased young Gentlewoman underwent for Heaven What Oceans of Troubles she vvas plunged in and what Fires of Soul-tribulations she was a long time burning in Now as Christ said to his Disciples Math. 18.2.3 And Jesus called a little Child unto him and set him in the midst of them And said verily I say unto you except ye be Converted and become as little Children ye shall not enter into the Kingdom of Heaven So say I to all and every one here Old and Young Rich and Poor High and Low except ye go thorough the Pangs of the New-birth as this young Damsel did I do not say in that same degree of Horror and Agony for that few do but except you be as really Converted Changed Renewed and Born again as she was you will not nay you cannot enter into the Joys of Heaven when you Die for they are our Lord 's own Words and spoke as plain as plain can be Joh. 3.3 Except a Man any Man every Man be Born again he cannot see the Kingdom of God Now this deserves your most deep and serious Consideration for there is a Kingdom of God to be enjoyed and a kingdom of darkness to be avoided And believe it Sirs Heaven is no Feigned Elizium Hell and Eternty is no dream the worm that never dies is no fond Conceit And you will shortly know what the one or the other means You will er'e long be summon'd to spend the Ages of Eternity amongst the blessed or damned and that in a very little time And so I shall close the whole alluding to the words of my Lord and Master with an earnest Exhortation to and fervent Supplication for each and every Soul of you here present Oh! That you would therefore know even you in this your day the things that belong to your everlasting peace before even before they be hid from your eyes And that for ever Two Hymns composed for her Funeral the former of which was publickly sung at the close of her Funeral I Sought the Lord and him I found He did regard my Tears When I lay prostrate on the Ground He freed me from my fears I wept with Sorrow Grief and Woe 'T is God that Mercy gives God made me cry out Oh! I know That my Redeemer Lives And lives to comfort my poor Heart Who did my State condole As finding such an horrid smart Within my wounded Soul But now I 'm eas'd I feel no pain Oh! then rejoyce with me That have found Death so sweet a Gain My Saviour now I see When I through Weakness pin'd away And fetch'd my latest Groan Christ sent his Angels to convey My Soul unto his Throne Oh! Halelujah Lord I am Ravish'd with Joy and Love In Bosome of blest Abraham With all the Saints above The other A Person young late dwelt among Vs Militants below Oppress'd with Fears immerg'd in Tears Which from her Eyes did flow Her Spirit sad with Sable clad To think upon her Soul The Storm was great the Billows beat And Deeps did on her roul So fierce the Stroke her Heart was broke Her inward Man deprest Both Night and Day she pin'd away And had not any Rest. Till God did please t' afford her ease 'T is he that Comfort gives Then in her Woe she cry'd I know My dear Redeemer Lives With this sweet Breath in view of Death She did her Life resign Now wrapt in Love with those above She gloriously does shine Rest holy Saint where no complaint Shall vex thee any more Possess that Peace which ne'er will cease On Canaan's blessed shore Oh! Halelu-Jah he is true At length he 'll surely come He 'll come away without delay And take his Mourners home FINIS