for thee and wilt thou love thy friend the worse because he shares in sorrow with thee for thou canst not but know that he came from Heaven to take to himself a Spouse on Earth and if I was one that he loved and grieved for to see my stubborn heart so hard to yield was this the cause he wanted beauty Oh such a want as this is lovely and methinks my heart could have cleaved the closer to him There was no beauty or comeliness in him and what of that my ugly and deformed soul deserves more loathing my righteousness the comeliest part about me is but rags or a menstruous cloth if there were no more desirableness in him than in me Oh had I loved him then and left all for him it were no wonder but that he should love me I rather stand amazed There was no beauty in him it may be so but could it be otherwise expected from him who came to work in fire and smoke who came to quench the flames of Hell and to satisfie Gods wrath and justice to pull out filthy souls from the jaws of lustful sensual flesh and blood it was not beauty but strength that was here needful A glance of an amorous eye would not have wounded Satan and made him fall from Heaven like a flash of Lightning A comely countenance could not have inchanted and unbar'd Hell-gates and made them fall and break before him into shatters What need a fair hand to touch our filthy rotten souls and take them up in menstruous blood and wash them clean or what need such clean hands to clasp about the rusty iron gates wherein I and all the world lay bound in chains and to pull them down to take our cankered bolts and knock them off to take us by the hand to help us up and lead us out Alas there needs no such eye face or hand for such a work It is powerful all-conquering strength that is here required It was a powerful victorious arm that here was needed and such a one he had But what should he do with a beauteous body that must be so abased and abused as his was an uncomely face will serve where it must be spit on What must he do with a fair soft delicate tender hand which must be pierced another kind of hand is good enough to knock a nail into And what needs his body be of a clear white thin transparent skin will not any serve that body that must be bruised and wounded as his was nay as it was necessary his should be But why thus necessary either he must be thus dealt with or else my sin cannot be pardoned Either he must be despised of men or I must be of God Oh he must drink up this bitter cup with all its dregs or else I must have drunk it up my self It was I that sinned and I must have suffered this cursed proud and earthly heart of mine rebelled and broke the Laws and should have suffered and born the punishment had not he stept in and born the stroke off from me I had been now burning in everlasting flames and have been lingering out this time in torment which I am now spending in the sweet thoughts of my escape And is not this all true speak out my soul hath not the Prophet said as much Surely saith he he hath born our griefs and carried our sorrows he was wounded for our transgressions he was bruised for our iniquities the chastisement of our peace lay upon him and by his stripes we are healed All we like sheep are gone astray we are every one turned to his own way and the Lord hath laid upon him the iniquities of us all He was oppressed he was afflicted yet he opened not his mouth he was brought as a lamb to the slaughter and as a sheep before the shearers was dumb so he opened not his mouth He was taken from prison and judgment and who shall declare his generation for he was cut off from the land of the living And for the transgression of my people was he smitten Thou seest thy debt and thy Saviours payment of it these are no fictions thou hast just now read a sure word of Prophecy that hath confirmed it Those wounds those stripes those bruises which thou readest of he bore for thee and which were due to thee It was thou that shouldst have been led from prison to judgment from prison to the Judgment-seat of the great God who should have sat as Judg he should have arraigned thee sentenced thee and have sent thee to the slaughter-house of Hell where thou shouldst have been weeping and wailing and gnashing of thy teeth But Oh amazing love and grace the Son of God that loved me better than his life stept off his Throne and took my nature on him and became a man like to me only sin excepted he came and bid me comfort my trembling heart he would put himself in my condition and become the prisoner and if my sin would cost his life he would freely part with it Methinks I feel my bowels turn my spirits melt within me was ever love like to his love he was a stranger to me why did he not let me die It was his Father I did wrong why did he not let me suffer What if my punishment was as great as Hell surely I did deserve it What if my pains and screeches were eternal Ah! I was a creature a worm a fly a nothing to him and what need he have cared but he loved me and could he love a prisoner at the Bar I was a sinner a vile polluted one methinks he should have loathed me but he did wash thee and make thee clean again I but I was his Fathers enemy and so no friend to him or would he love an enemy or did he not know so much but how could that be when he saw my heart and the enmity that was in it yes he did and yet he loved thee even while we were enemies he died for us But why did he love an enemy or how could he do it I know not why it is past my reason to imagine it Oh inexpressible love Oh love past thought I cannot fathom thee with my reason thy ways are unaccountable he loves because he will love And though his love displeaseth us yet it pleaseth him to love us What ails my heart I cannot find it stir What dead under the reviving thoughts of thy dearest Redeemer I just now said he loved thee though an enemy and when thou lovedst not him I see the enmity is not quite remov'd thou canst not love him yet Arise shake up thy self and look about thee thou dost not sure see thy mercy surely thou understandest not what thou oughtest to understand Come away Oh come away lift up thy drowsie head I will make thee look and love while I set thee all on burning and make thee ere I leave thee confess thou lovest him Think think Oh my soul
well why only if it was for any thing it was to read of the Controversie of Mr. Goodwin Yet as it prov'd by the all disposing Providence it was indeed for another business For as soon as I was in my Chamber I was exceedingly melted for those former sins Oh happy time Oh blessed spirit that led me not with my Saviour into the Wilderness to be tempted but to the Table of my Lord to feed on his fat things Bless the Lord O my soul and all that is within me bless his holy name On Friday before Easter 1651 I had no small joy in prayer never to my remembrance found I such a spirit of indefatigability before O praise God my soul and hie to God! And elsewhere he writes I have found in the various dispensations of Gods love and his dealing with me such a temper as this I have gone to prayer and laboured under such indisposition of soul and hardness of mine heart that I could not tell how to speak to God all sparks of faith as to the casting of my soul upon God seem'd to be extinct all breathings after God and Christ seem'd to be dead sin seem'd as nothing I sought to lay them to my charge yea and according to their aggravations I laboured to set Hell as to its torments before me that by them I might be startled Mine heart was so hard sin and its aggravations did as it were rebound back and convictions would not stick Methought Hell and its torments in this case no more frighted me than a sword at a blind mans throat would startle him I sought indeed that mine heart might be softned yet then but in word desires came not kindly from mine heart and in such a case I left praying this being night The next morning I went to duty again with a perhaps God will be gracious but found my soul hard as before and having pray'd a while and finding no comfort in it I was thinking to break off and so I should had not God prevented me by putting such an argument into my mouth as this Lord canst thou that hast said thou art a Father of such tender bowels suffer thy poor child thy poor creature to plead thus with thee for a broken heart and thou with hold it so stifly from him Upon this mine heart was exceedingly full and broken dissolved even into tears Oh ye Saints remember that Gods workings are arbitrary XXV As he records the failings and comforts he had before in and after prayer so we have him noting It is a good means to keep a mans soul up in a constant frame If he every day call his soul to a question How he hath walked with God that whole day And those sins he finds he hath fallen into that day let him resolve to watch against more strictly the next day and beg strength against them and by doing of this he shall quickly find a growth in grace and victory over his corruptions He adds When thou art ever pleading with God against sins remember that they are Gods enemies as well as thine Tell God he hates sin and wickedness and these are the enemies that thou art conflicting with and assure thy self God will not stand as a neuter but will take thy souls part as David in the fifth Psalm And again consider that thy soul is as a Common-wealth Christ the King thy corruptions the enemies now you know that the King is as much or rather should be more engag'd against the enemies of his Kingdom than the subjects are because the destruction of them or their victory strikes more upon his honour XXVI It is an hard thing to believe that a mans prayers are heard except he finds some warmings in his spirit in prayer either in solid joy or an hearty mourning Here these cases came to be resolv'd viz. Seeing the Children of God are often drawn out in prayer at By times a poor soul begins to reflect upon his own experiences and finding no such matter perform'd by himself is apt to be discouraged and to doubt whether God ever loved him First Thou must know though such dispensations are ordinary yet not necessary The Spirit can work without them as doubtless he doth in many Secondly Perhaps it hath not been Christs want of love to thee but thy negligence towards him He hath knocked and thou hast not opened Oh! this is a repulse to the King of Glory a sad dealing with thy Jesus with a Christ that was all a-sweat for thee and had his sides running out water and blood for thee to let him stand and knock without and give him no lodging Object Yea but the soul may say I have often watcht mine heart and markt the breathings of my soul whither they tended Godward or no but alas I was hard and blind a sottish creature Ans First Let such a consideration as this serve to humble thee but not to deject thee Know that there is a time when God will not be found and that is upon thy slighting of his former tenders Oh! when ever thou findest thy self in such a case forementioned Go and bewail before God thine hard and rough dealings with him Secondly Consider that upon such a reflexion on thy self and finding thine heart dead and listless to prayer it is very probable that the Spirit of God calls thee out at that time to prayer against thine hardness thy listlesness and blindness as to the discoveries of thy self and Gods love towards thee Oh! take heed of slighting such a tender as this Perhaps thou maist never have more of such tenders as these are and that thou maist wrestle a blessing out of Gods hand urge God with his own promises in the 54th Chapter of Isaiah it is a most spiritual and raising Chapter Here it may be Queried How to know that God hides himself out of love to me This to me is a strong evidence that God hides himself out of love to me after some miscarriage of soul 1 When God by my fall into a sin makes me more cautious of that sin for the future 2 God by that sin discovers my base heart to me 3 When God draws out my soul to beg earnestly for strength of him against it But a man after he hath fallen into some sin may take up resolutions against it and yet fall into it again 'T is true there is scarce a Saint but hath experienc'd this very thing and the reasons of it are not dark 1 On Gods part he will make his Saints to know that resolutions nor prayers nor any duty else can conquer sin He would have them acknowledg when corruptions are subdued it came from God that so they may put the crown of mortification upon his head 2 On our part let us examine our selves whether we did resolve in the strength of Christ If not it 's no wonder if we fall If we say we did Let 's examine our souls whether we did apply our selves to God
thee Friend how camest thou hither not having on thy Wedding-garment He sees thy heart and sees thou hast it on Oh he comes and it is but to whisper thee a welcome in thine ear it is but to fall about thy neck and kiss thy be-tear'd cheeks and bid thee a kind welcome to thy bleeding Lord. Soul Oh did I think to be thus much made of I thought he would not have minded me but I did no sooner appear and set my feet within the doors but he ran to meet me he took me in his arms he brought me hither and set me here Is this a house or is it a Palace Is this a Court for Princes or for Angels Never did place more ravish me into amazement than this place Beautiful are thy gates O Zion O how pleasant is the habitation of the most high Is it the place or the company that strikes me into astonishment Now I can say most feelingly say with David My delights are with the Saints of the most high and the most excellent of the earth Their poverty their disgrace their contempt amongst whom they live do not puzzle my quick-ey'd Faith these are the Kings Daughters that are all glorious within their garments are of needle-work imbroidered over with pure gold fine-spun gold These O these hovv poor and mean soever they are or may seem to be these shall sit vvith Christ to judg the World Oh! hovv my foul is ravished vvith delight to see and look on those with whom I shall live for ever If they are so lovely now what will they be hereafter when our God shall take them and scowr off their rust and wash their Garments bright in the Sun-shine of his countenance and change those mortal and corruptible bodies into immortal and glorious ones and set them upon Thrones about himself and lade their heads with Crowns of massy gold and when I shall hear them warbling out the everlasting Praises of the Lamb whose Body and Blood we all sit down to feed on Communion-Plate Never was Gold or Silver graced thus before To bring this Body and this Blood to us is more than to Crown Kings or be made Rings For Star-like Diamonds to glitter in The Bread Welcome Fairest take and eat 't is the sweetest dainties dearst morsel Heaven can afford thee Welcome my Dear to the Table of thy Lord. Welcome a thousand times I bid thee yea welcomer than thine own heart can wish Take eat this morsel it cost my life it 's a portion thy Father sent unto thee by me and bid me remember thee of his love to thee He bids thee remember a Fathers love I a Saviours He hath a heart to give thee and so have I. Take this in earnest of them both in one Take freely if thou wert not welcome I would have told thee I would have asked thee for thy Wedding-garment knew I not thy heart or if I were uncertain of thy love I would have scorn'd thee as unworthy of my presence did I know thou lovest any thing above me I would have hid my face and never have spoke thee a welcome so feelingly and kindly to thy soul Tell me O tell me dost thou not love me I know thou dost and above Father or Mother Wife or Child Lands or Living or Credit I know thou dost And wilt thou not take the Cross and follow me I know thou wilt I see and know the labour of thy love I remember the pains and travel of thy soul I saw thee follow me on thy knees in tears and begged my life rather than thy life I know thy heart I saw it bleeding before my Throne I took it in my arms and bound it up and in that breast I remember I put it up again I saw thee when no eye saw thee I heard thee and had compassion on thy groanings whilst thou wert complaining that I had shut out thy prayers I well remember since thy heart did first fall sick with love since the time thy flesh began to die and since thou laidst thy self in the grave down by me and wert willing to die to all this vain empty glory of the world because I died and left it I know thee well enough Thou art mine and I am thine Take it I charge thee eat it as thou lovest me and whilst thou feedest remember the love of thy dearest Redeemer Soul Oh 't is the sweetest meat that ever tongue did tast it sends a rellish to my very heart I find it digests as it deseends I feel my nerves and sinews strengthen I never knew that bread was the staff of life till now Oh how fit is my soul now for Christ How easie do I now find his yoke how light his burden Methinks I could watch or pray or read more earnestly resolvedly believingly than ever Oh! methinks I can take his Cross and bear it strongly and take the shame and despise it fully Oh 't is a feast of fat things The richest banquet of love that ever I was at it was but a little that I took and it fills me full my hungry stomack now crys 't is enough I find it now verified to my soul and spirit that he that eats of this bread shall never hunger more Well I need not starve when there is such bread in my Fathers house I need not I will not I cannot feed any longer on husks with the swine of the world I fed on air and smoak before I never tasted substantial bread till I tasted of this This is the staff of my life and upon this will I support my self to my very grave The Wine Christ Come my Dearest I have drunk and thou shalt pledg me I have broached my side and drew it on purpose for thee This is a Wine of mine own making when I trod the Winepress of my Fathers wrath It is my blood but take and drink it it was the cause of my wounding but to thy soul it shall prove healing I died and bled it was but to make this Banquet for thee I have brought thee into my Wine-cellar and my Banner over thee shall be love Fear not take and drink thou hast an ulcer in thy heart and this shall cure it spots and stains of guilt on thy soul and this shall purge them away thy spirits are faint this shall revive thee thou art afraid to see thy Fathers face this shall make thee to draw near the Throne of Grace with boldness Drink I charge thee drink on thy love and loyalty to me I command thee as thou wilt have thy heart to mend thy wounds to cure thy spirits to revive thy fears to scatter thy soul to love and obey me take O take this cup into thy hand taste it and praise my love Soul Lord I have taken I have drunk as thou hast bid me I neither could or dare deny thee Can I refuse thy blood when I have accepted thy self Or can I accept my pardon at thy hands and
i' nt that I Do fear thou canst not save Nothing can hinder if thou please Nor Devil Hell nor Grave Nor do I doubt but 't is thy will To save some such as I For as vile wretches as I am Thy Son did freely die In the deep Seas of thy rich love Blaspheming Paul did swim He though thy Saints he sought to kill Yet thou didst pardon him The Harlot Mary Magdalen Who deeply ran on score Who did ten thousand talents owe Yet that debt-bond was tore A swearing cursing Peter thou Didst to thy mercy take That Son whom he did fear to own Thou pardon'st for his sake This makes me confident my God That Heav'n may be my place If thou would'st please to grant to me Maries or Peters Grace Give me O God to go aside And in some corner creep That there with Peter bitterly In dolors I may weep Give me but sinful Maries love Love shall my ointment be Which I upon my Lords feet will Pour out as well as she But ah my God! this is my fear Their faith and love I want My carnal proud and sensual heart Speaks me no penitent This only Lord I have to plead Those lusts my heart doth hate I long I wish to be set free From this sad sinful state Sure Lord I am no enemy To holiness within Thou seest my soul contend and strive To beat down every sin When that perchance my foot doth slip And thee I do offend Doth not my sin make me to mourn And don 't I strive to mend Had not I faith why should I fear The threatenings of thy Law Why should I dread thy Majesty And of thee stand in awe Had I not faith why should I long Thy face above to see Why should I praying sue so hard To get my liberty Did not I love thee why should I My loved self forsake Why should I loath my loved sins For thy beloved's sake Did I not love why don 't the shell Of duties me suffice In Sacraments and pray'rs why do I thus thy presence prize Did I dissemble to be seen Of men why doth my sin Which none knows but my self alone Me trouble that 's within Did I dissemble then my tears My sighs in company Would more be heard and seen then when My God alone stands by It 's true I love thee not enough Nor is my faith so strong But that with grief I do confess Thy faithfulness I wrong But Lord remember I 'm but dust In weakness here I live That little which I have thou gav'st The rest above shalt give Did not those Stars that now do shine With thee in Heav'n above While living on the earth complain Of want of faith and love Nay Lord do not I read that thou The hungry soul didst bless And it that thirsts for righteousness Such am I I confess But Lord remember he that thirsts And hungry is for grace He some degree of grace must want And I am in that case If he is blessed why not I My hung'rings thou dost see If thou hast said he shall be full Why sha'nt that word reach me I sin I sin but thou hast place't The righteous Christ on high To advocate and plead his cause That at his feet doth lye Lord there a sinner I do lye Thy promise I will trust For pardon and for love will hope Till I fall to the dust The Welcome I. WElcome my child on high Heaven joys to see thee here Be not afraid it is thy Fathers house And thy Saviour bought it dear It was for this he bled And his soul ' n offering did make When my Son thou didst accept this Jointure he thee made Now possess it for his sake Whyart thou asham'd come behold me behold me I have forgot thy sin And made thee clean within Now thou' rt arrived here above Of nought think but of love I shall ne're be angry with thee agen II. My servants that attend Put on his best attire Set a Crown on his brow in brightness that out-shines The clearest flames of fire Spread out that cloth of Gold His foot-cloth it must be If you have him drest come bring him set him here He must keep me company Have you done if you have bid him welcome bid him welcome He was our friend on earth And royal in his birth For whilest he lived I saw he Forsook all to love me And did truly serve me to his his death III. A child a bride a wife Ragg'd and adorn'd so soon From the Dungeon to the Throne how quickly am I rais'd And my midnight turn'd to noon Even now on my death-bed I sigh'd I sob'd I groan'd I weeping cri'd my God hath me forgot And by all my friends was moan'd What they think now on earth I do not know I do not know Nor for't do I much care What a weeping though they are Of little do they think I Do possess such glory That I 'm made so much-of here above IV. This is Jerusalem Pav'd o're with slates of Gold Her rows of houses like to towers stand It 's more stately than was told Here 's not a street but 's strow'd With flowers of Paradise Not a step that I tread but such sweetnesses I pownd More rich than Arabian spice Walls that her inclose are far brighter far brighter Than th' oriental flame Or a thing that wants a name Her sparkling gates are well known To be made up of such stone That the richest Diamonds doth excel V. Blest shades that here do dwell These mansions that possess I never till now a place or people saw That the God of Heaven doth bless Here 's not a look speaks care No sign of tear or grief Not a sigh or a groan through all the streets I hear Nor a beggar that wants relief All yet that I 've met are like Angels like Angels In clearness they surpass A Star or chrystal-glass Whose unsoil'd beauty doth seem To out-vye a Sun-beam Far Oh far more splendid than all these VI. Their locks like curls of light Their Lilly-necks hang o're Bedeckt with Ribbonds richer than of Gold I ne're saw such before Sweetness of spirit blooms And blossoms all the week In smiles of joy and love that do adorn In their flowrings on each cheek In mantles as white as the fair Moon the fair Moon They walk about each street And embrace all that they meet I never saw friends so love As they do here above Oh! I could lie at any of their feet VII I am where I would be In the City of my King This is the place I have desir'd to see And to hear the cherubs sing What lofty strains are these I ne're heard voice so lavish Not a note that I hear but melts me into joy And my heart doth in me ravish In the close when they shout Hallelujah Hallelujah Glory to God on high And the Lamb that below did die There 's warmth methinks in these names That melts me into
for a time Answ Thou hadst better conclude that thou wast blind rather as to the discovery of them than that they did not at all rise at that time But for more narrow search into this case consider whether thy corruptions now rising are resisted by thee more than they were before if so conclude then the mortification of them Secondly It is not best in this case to ask the question too deeply whether they were mortified before because the Devil hereby will take advantage of the soul to vex it but rather apply thy self to Christ by new acts of faith as to the mortificationof them XVII Often times souls are puzled in their enquiries into the mortification of corruptions and know not what to conclude of them For if they look upon their hearts they find corruptions either bubling and rising up and impetuous or else they are still If rising that makes against the mortification of them if they rise not they are apt to conclude they are rather still than mortified To resolve such a soul I think it is best for it to look upon that in the soul which is opposite to sin and to examine whether there is greater love to God in him whether he loves Saints more and is more desirous that his sins should be mortified than formerly If he find these things in him he may conclude that his sins are in a greater measure mortified For sins and grace or love to God are like two scales and if you can but discover that grace is higher or your love and breathings are greater you may conclude that sin is lower and mortified XVIII On Saturday August 17 1650. He records I was exceedingly troubled with risings of a proud heart and on Sabath-day in the morning I found the like accompanied with envying against the raisements of other Saints as if I would have none higher than my self Yea and in the afternoon was exceeding troubled with lightness of spirit so that I could scarce forbear laughing at Church and after when I came home for one of Trinity being with me I was fain to leave him in the Chamber and enter my Study lest I should betray the nakedness of mine heart Oh cursed heart But for this spiritual distemper mine heart was suddenly troubled and I had just such a sorrow as if I had lost some outward friend and I did exceedingly take on in mourning for my folly XIX On the 22d following I had an ingenuous melting possest my soul on a sudden reflecting upon my want of discovery of the love of God these three or four days and the day following I was in a pretty good frame of spirit Whereupon I came to consider if a man would know whether he lives above all his duties let him see whether or no in a search after Sanctification he doth not lay more stress upon one duty than another For this Souls are very apt to do especially on those duties which are extraordinary As for instance if thou keepest a private fast with some other Christians or else prayest at some part in the day different from the seâ—-times or prayest more times a day than ordinary either by thy self or with other Christians or such times as those above praying at the Chappel if thou dost it is a sign that there is a tincture of self-dependence Therefore it is the best way to make an equal conscience of them all as for performance of them and look on them all with the same eye and say that thou art unprofitable in them all And that thou maist attain to this temper after every duty examine what vanity of thoughts what formality in spirit thou hadst in the doing of them that thou maist see they are all nothing without Christ XX. What should I do in a dull and dead state Answ 1 Double the watch over thine own heart aâ—d affections it is common to see a soul dead and careless 2 Labour to strengthen faith in the Promises of Gods love and willingness to receive souls The Parable of the Prodigal and that if a child aâ—k his father bread will he give him a stone c. should be consider'd 3 Make this improvement of thy present deadness to humble thy soul and see thine own vileness that thou shouldst abuse such riches of grace as it may be thou hast done and by that sin shouldst cause that deadness Take heed of slighting the deadness of your heart if you do you grow careless of Gods anger for deadness is a sign that God is angry XXI What should a man do in enjoyments Answ It is common for such souls presently to grow so confident of themselves as to let go their watch and so oftentimes are betray'd by their enemies 1 Be then as earnest for the enjoying of more of God when thou art raised as thou wast to enjoy any thing of God when thou wast not Let not a discovery of love stop thy breathing Saints often sit down here and so fall back again 2 Seek to redouble thy faith to make it stronger than ever for time will be that thou maist have use of it 3 Labour to humble thy self under thine enjoyments Let not the thoughts of Sonship dry up thine eyes but be sure the more of self-abhorrency the more evidence of thy Sonship XXII On Saturday the 5th and Sabbath-day the 6th of Octob. 1650 He records The Lord humbled me much in the sight of unworthy dealings with God and I may say God was in me of a truth this grace was then so lively in me that I prest it much to the company But yet Oh wretched heart before I came out of the company that night I was taken with a violent passion of pride and anger Yet by this fall I may bless my God God humbled me more than I was before yea and it caused me to have more contemptible thoughts of my self than ever Whereupon we find this sell-abasing Christian student to set down how he may get the victory over head-strong Passions when he adds Humility of spirit is attainable by getting quick and sprightful apprehensions of self weakness to grace and discovering the evil of a carnal heart which may be discern'd in spiritual duties by its sallying often into the world and much suspected when it is readier to close with a promise of God that speaks comfort than with a command of God which speaks obedience Oh! pray against such a distemper as savours of self seeking and labour to get holy Principles such as love to God to be the spring of all thy words actions and walkings and then thou maist take comfort in them for if any other humility which is carnal be found prevailing in thee it will argue hypocrisie There is so much pride in men naturally that when God begins to work upon the soul he finds no greater an enemy to it than pride and of nothing more do Saints complain than it which makes them unfit for any company any discourse and therefore
you in this case and mark his dealings with you herein that you may admire him When a man begins first to set his sace Zion-ward yea and afterwards when he hath made some progress in those ways the Devil doth exceedingly labour with such a soul to afflight â—im from the ways of holiness in suggesting that his former company will despise him and in these new ways there must be more strictness of life more tentations and trouble of spirit which kind of arguments will be apt to stagger such a soul very much because as yet they are but weak and have not such powerful principles infus'd into them as may make them strong enough to find the yoke of Christ easie Therefore it will be the best way for such a soul to resolve still to go on and assure himself that there are more joys to be found in God than in all his former courses and withall pray earnestly for the strengthening of inward principles in his soul and more spiritually in his heart to carry him through the strait gate with ease XXXIII This may be the temper of some souls that have had some assurance of their good estate that if afterwards some sin is set home upon their souls they are exceeding loth to dive into their own hearts which is accompanied with this slavish fear lest they should find all their former hopes to be meer flashes and that they have been in a carnally secure state even until now some have div'd into their hearts at such a time and God hath shown them some hypocrisie or selfishness in their former walkings whence they have concluded that if God had let them die in such a condition they had been damn'd and so after this discovery if they have had a clearer discovery of the baseness of their heart they have concluded the like of that estate By this kind of reasonings there are these disadvantages happen to such a soul First He can by no means make Gods former dealings with him subordinate to the innervating of his present condition and without a special work of the divine Spirit a man shall not gather any ground for his present condition Secondly By this he loseth a praising Spirit and he also deals disingenuously with God in not owning all his gracious dispensations to the soul The direction that I would give such an one should be this Let him know that the least grace is true grace Grace in the seed is as true grace as grace in the bud and grace in the bud as true as grace in the blossom Shall the blossom contemn the bud because it is not so fragrant and so flourishing or the bud the seed Oh! take heed of a non entertainment of divine Love I have had such quick checks of conscience that they have forc'd me to Duty to Prayer to Church to Chappel private Conferences and now I am afraid lest all these actions come meerly from checks and not from inward principles Of this thing if thou wouldst satisfie thy soul ask it whether thou hast not a Will contrary to this fleshly temper and it carries thee out to pray earnestly against that I mean not to the stilling of conscience but that God would discover to you that your duties came from more filial principles of love Bless then God for the quickness of conscience and press for strength to obey whatever conscience dictates to be according to right reason and the mind of God but on the other hand take heed of daubing it with any light gloss from Scripture as some species of good if thou do'st thou sinnest XXXIV Seeing that all the mercies of Saints have divine Love mingled among them Now I enjoy worldly blessings I know not whether they are given to me out of love to me says some poor Saint I Answer There be these three marks whereby a soul may see whether his earthly blessings are mingled with spiritual love First Mark whether they were given to you upon the account of prayer Did you beg them of the Lord upon your knees So that you may say all your mercies are the children of your prayers the births of your entreaties your health your meat and drink were wrestled for at a Throne of Grace After this manner did Hannah procure her son Samuel as we may read 1 Sam. Chap. 1. reflect now upon your self and see whether your outward mercies come this way if they do O how sweet and comfortable will they be to you you shall never look considerately upon them but your heart shall be warmed with the love of God Here you may say is a mercy and there is a blessing which I pull'd out of the bosome of divine Love as it were with mine own hand this child and that child this crumb of bread and that drop of drink are all pledges of Gods love to me these are divine influences and sparks of the flames of Gods loving-kindnesses What Adamantine heart would not such discoveries melt into love towards God what soul would not such chains of gold enravish which were both made and put about its neck with the lovely fingers of Christs hands What soul would not such a Cordial comfort which is compounded of love and goodness Mine heart is enravish'd within me whiles I think of this love and every thought that I have of it bespeaks admiration this is that which Angels admire and in which glorified Saints are immers'd these are the Chrystal streams which run before the throne of the Lamb every drop of which presents a jewel of inestimable price It is a thing rather to be admir'd than talk'd of here I could be content to dwell to eternity but I am call'd off to the second mark to discover this love in outward mercies and that is this Ask your soul this Question Whether it hath been drawn out in praises for that which you have received of God Can you say that you love God the more for them and do they engage you to serve God more if they do you may assure your self that Gods love is in every mercy you receive Thirdly Can you see them given to you upon the account of Christ Can you say that God loves you in Christ therefore God gives you this and that mercy this is one of the highest attainments of a Saint on this side glory This speaks fulness of comfort O! how sweet is it to see a reconciled Father hold forth his hand full of mercies to hear him come and say Child take this mercy and that mercy and when ever thou lookest upon them remember that I love thee O how pleasant is such a voice This cannot but work up the soul to love God and to breathe after God more than ever It is hard to distinguish betwixt an holy waiting upon God for the answer of our prayers and a kind of security which is apt to seize upon mens souls after prayer Now for answer consider this That waiting doth not impair breathings of
improvement of spiritual knowledg even whiles at the Vniversity which might make him a Workman that needed not be ashamed We shall look upon him though then but a Batchelor of Art who yet had gain'd respect by his Collegiate and Academical exercises and was well furnish'd with abilities as call'd to be employ'd in that exercise to which the former were only preparatory and subservient For it seems about the latter end of 1652 when his Father being admonisht by age was summon'd by sickness to leave this Temporary life he was concern'd to be at home the place of his Nativity where his custom was to call his Fathers servants to an account about their Souls and to Catechise them in the main Principles of Religion Here when he had as a most dutiful Son perform'd the last offices to his dying and deceased Father and was comforting his sorrowful Mother and instructing the Family He was importun'd by some good Christians of his acquaintance who soon found what excellent gifts and endowments this young Timothy had to employ his Talents in Preaching the Gospel as occasion should offer This upon their invitation he readily embrac'd and by his Preaching gave such evident proofs of his experimental knowledg utterance and zeal for God that upon the death of Mr. Morton a very Reverend and Worthy Minister the Parishioners of Mary Newington-Butts having heard him Preach and being satisfied of his Learning Piety and Ministerial abilities as the Instruments shew and Petition'd for him He was Feb. 16. 1652 ordered to that Rectory by those then in power as a Godly and Orthodox Divine And this was very remarkable in his Election to that Charge that though the Parishioners were divided into two several Parties and both went with their Petitions to Westminster upon the foresaid vacancy to have a Minister setled amongst them neither party knowing the others mind yet they both pitch'd upon him for whom the unanimous Petitioners did easily obtain a grant XXXVIII Hereupon this observant young Divine who was ever ready to acknowledg God in all his ways doth in his book with his own hand record this seasonable Call viz. God called me very clearly as I thought to the charge of Newington in which I used no means but Prayer wherein I was carried out in abundance of calmness of mind grounded on Faith This is remarkable in it that for some two weeks before I heard of it I was exceedingly troubled in my thoughts about means for subsisting at the Vniversity till my profits came in And behold how God graciously silenc'd all them by a gracious Providence but I look higher than so For much about this time as we conceive he was also Chosen Fellow of Christs Colledge yet to the satisfaction of the Reverend Dr. Bolton the Master and his particular friend He resolv'd to accept of the Charge at Newington where He was so unanimously desired and where he might have a greater opportunity of doing good to souls which was most upon his heart and the working of God upon others hearts by his Preaching was much heeded by him For we have him noting Feb. 17. 1652 3. I Preach'd at Mary-Overees wherein God wrought so graciously by me upon T. W. that through the urgencies of his spirit He wrote a large Letter to me indeed very spiritually wherein He blessed God particularly that He had heard me and that God had counted me so worthy as to become an Ambassador of so glorious a Gospel This was the first occasion of the renewing our acquaintance Bless the Lord O my soul that He hath made use of thy foolishness to manifest his Wisdom and his Grace to others XXXIX Afterwards on March 6. and 11. we find him again recording these Observables I heard from one of Newington that a wicked man of that Parish should say to him That he was very glad that they had made such a choice of me which forc'd him to these expressions through my weak preaching that he was perswaded if the Devil himself should come and preach to men he would perswade them to seek heaven O my soul admire the new Hierusalem Further Mr. Diaper brought one of Newington to me they called Mr. Langleys Convert who told me in our Converse that he had lain under a deadness of heart for almost a quarter of a year but since my Preaching there his spirit was exceedingly refresh'd and quickned This is the Lords doings and it is wonderful in mine eyes The same night in our Conference both concurred I mean the forementioned parties in this experiment that they have kneeled down on their knees yet through straitness of heart have risen up again and Petition'd nothing of God March 12. saith he my soul was in an exceeding spiritual frame wherein God exceedingly deadned me as to worldly-mindedness with which through a little dallying with a day or two before I was somewhat bewitch'd Oh! my soul take heed of jesting with covetous expressions lest it prove thy snare On Saturday night April the 1st my spirit was very much refresh'd in the light of Gods countenance the actings of my faith being very visible in relation to Newingtons salvation A friend of mine told me of a very carnal wretch that at hearing of me concerning the unkindness of sinners to God was very importunate with the said party to write out my Sermon for him which importunity lasted for a week or more but at length the said importunate party waxed cold and he heard no more of him when he had written it out for him Note All convictions and all meltings are not converting For the searching of such like we have this experimental Preacher recording You shall find it in your dealings with some souls that it is very hard to bring them off their good meanings and wishes especially such as are any thing moral and haply do subdue some of their grosser sins Examine such thus First How doth your soul take it if you find not God in prayer if you can rise up as you kneel down find God or not find him suspect thine heart for all is not right within Secondly Whether doth the absence of God or the loss of a creature a child or a wife or a husband most trouble thee thou maiest by this search thine heart to the quick for the loss of whatsoever it is that troubles thee most that is thine heart most upon Indeed the heart of this choice servant of the Lord was much upon his Masters work for the good of Souls For on a time June 1651. we find he had noted that he was furpriz'd in spirit with joy unutterable breaking out Oh! how did my bowels earn when I thought of Souls at a distance from God and sitting upon the shadow of death Whereupon he communicated his experience to his Chamber-fellow XL. And now having after thorow examination and profession of his faith been solemnly set apart to his Ministerial office and Pastoral Charge by the laying on of the hands of
in several particulars 1. Sorrow is the proper consequent of sin Christians therefore so far as freed from sin are necessarily in a state of freedom from sinful sorrow slavish fear c. That liberty 2 Cor. 3. latter end is fixed to joy nothing so genuine and characteristically appendant to the state of an Adopted Child of God as joy because having the spirit he ought to rejoyce evermore and that with joy unspeakable and full of glory 2. I grant also that Saints ought to joy in one anothers society with a spiritual delight considering the Wisemans saying Prov. 15.16 Better is little with the fear of the Lord than great treasures and trouble therewith The company of such should be all their delight Psal 16.3 Christ himself speaks of his rejoycing in the habitable parts of his earth and his delights with the sons of men Prov. 8.31 This might be more at large evidenc'd from Scriptures 3. I must as I have had too sad a cause put in this much That as Christian liberty in other things through Satans policy is abused too too much for an occasion to the gratifying of the flesh and vanity of heart which should not be Gal. 5.13 so in this which I account if it be brought to the face vain laughter Which I shall describe in brief and then leave to spiritual judgments There is such a frame of heart in many precious Saints as this viz. Acertain sudden indeliberate and rash leaping of heart carelesly blindly and unadvisedly transported with fleshly apprehensions of some sensual ridiculousness in somewhat though never so spiritual without the soul an unreasonable jocundness a shameful discovery of the hearts nakedness and inconsiderable jovialty a carnal unaccountable tripudiation in cases never so serious yea sometimes when most serious a delightful frenzy an irregular itching of the laughing faculty Alas I cannot but say I have sound mine own heart sometime like a feather following the puff of any ridiculous object up and down according to the less or greater impression which any vain foolish matter made upon my sense I had occasion to cry out June 18. O the filthy emptiness of my weak heart arising from those troubled steams within me This I could then count nothing but a fuzze of vanity a bubble of corruption a carnal dancing of the careless sons the bane of reason and poyson of Religion Carnality therefore and vanity are the formal Constitutives of this distemper Vanity I say and lightness in an untameable predominancy The internal cause of it is the loosness and rottenness of such a soul as is void of the actual exercise or power of reason discretion and judgment but it is promoted cherished and enlarg'd from some particular circumstance in the object ab extra let into the unsetled mind and indisposed heart by the quick convoy of the bruitish senses which causes this lightness I speak of or an unaccountable or over-powerful frame of laughing upon the presentation of the imagination or understanding either of a very serious thing grace or carriage of a person apprehended under the notion of his being usually familiar or light or more nearly I mean spiritually related to the soul thus distempered having for its external rise or occasion ex parte objecti that very thing ordinarily which to a rectified and considerative mind should rather be a cause of sorrow or serious humble rejoycing namely sometimes 1. Anothers expression of the like vanity 2. The more precious serious or so apprehended Saint his casting his eyes fixedly upon thee 3. Such a familiar Saint his relation either of some great sin or some special act of divine grace in any spiritual working of soul or his putting a light soul on any more singularly advantageous duty suppose Prayer out of a serious heart 4. The external efficient cause of this distemper is Satan who perceiving the heart loose at the bottom easily disposed to lightness of spirit makes it more vain and causeth other objects to take 5. As the cause of this distemper is very bad because corruptio optimi est pessima so the effects are and proportionably worse Take it thus in the lump It 's scandalous and a temptation to others it makes one uncredible as to any spiritual thing done or urg'd by one in such a frame yea it renders a more serious mood suspicious upon the same account it grieves true Saints and delights the Devil In respect of ones self it causes accordingly as it is more prevalent a general indisposition to all acts of Religion and sense of God it deprives a man of all spiritual communion either with God or his Saints for it takes away seriousness which is the considerate fixedness of the soul as to acts of reliance on Christ for strength against it and lastly it hinders sympathizing with other Saints especially as to mourning 6. There be connexed with this distemper while it is in act upon the soul 1. Pride self-applauding no self-abasing apprehensions 2. Security of heart no sense of the Lords being dishonoured Having seen these particulars opening the nature of lightness or carnal laughter the concerning Question is XLVI How may I distinguish betwixt Christian joys and this kind of laughter Answ First Spiritual joy and the expressions thereof be it in smiles or other gestures is still competent and consistent with the hearts well-disposedness towards God and all spiritual things because it is the fruit of the spirit Gal. 5.22 This doth as it were oyl the Chariot-wheels of the soul disposing it better to communion with God and all spiritual activity Yea seeing it ariseth from some love of God and Christ in him darted into the soul it fits the soul more for Christ and inflames it towards him by this the apprehensions of God are not extinguished but sweetned not diminisht but rather enlarg'd Whereas è contra the frame before mentioned dims the light of grace which by the spirit hath been sown in the soul it quenches the spirit of divine Union and so estranges the soul from God it sets the door open to backsliding and profaneness of heart and we see it is the nurse of profaneness in our spiritual backsliding Get a soul into never so high an attainment this will cast him down and betray him so that the soul hereby is brought to a strange loss seeing the spirit through such vanity of mind is sent away with grief and sadness I could produce a most remarkable instance of one a most precious one amongst us who by this means and the subtilty of Satan was cheated of very much spiritual comfort Secondly Spiritual joy and the expression thereof in cheerfulness consists with prudence and discretion so that a man may be spiritually joyous and yet behave himself fuitably to occasions persons and circumstances but this laughing frame puts a soul upon absurd unbeseeming and unsuitable carriages as laughing when one goes to sympathize with a soul broken for sin See Partic. 3d. above Thirdly
A man hath power over h imself in the expression of spiritual joy to order it well but he hath no power to refrain from or regulate this laughing even then when he well knew he ought not to laugh Fourthly Spiritual pleasantness is acceptable to all that are wise to salvation but a civil discreet man would be exceedingly offended to see Christians so unreasonably transported to laugh and know not wherefore Fifthly Spiritual joy and cheerfulness is not only every way regular but well-grounded too Now of this same laughter above describ'd a man can give no rational account at all Sixthly The last inconvenience which should cause an utter extirpation of this wild kind of laughing as that which stands in opposition to spiritual cheerfulness is non-edification The spirits of Saints are more cold and flat and indisposed by it Reflexion strikes conscience for it as vain but true Christian mirth joy and cheerfulness hath contrary effects with Saints From the premises for the determination of the case I thus judg 1. Christians smiling at their first congress if conscience suggest not some sufficient ground or spiritual account thereof must needs be some degree of vanity aforesaid as proceeding from the lightness of their spirits especially if their meeting be spiritual and deeply serious in which cases the vanity of heart in Christians doth oftentimes bubble up and should be check'd 2. One of the best ways for a Christian to discern both in the point of Congress and the whole continuance of converse whether his smiling or laughter be vain or spiritual consequently lawful and commendable is his having power over his heart therein so that he can restrain it if he thinks fit still keeping spiritual liberty to the exercise of other spiritual duties which vain laughter and smiling alloweth not XLVII Saints often times in the midst of their spiritual enjoyments are apt to meet with this tentation the Devil suggesting such thoughts as these Surely this joy will not last always one time or other thy sins will provoke God to leave thee utterly For dost thou think that he can ever look upon sin and not punish it seeing he is of purer eyes than to behold iniquity but with detestation Know that in such a case God would have thee to live by faith I mean as to thy during joys And of this we have an excellent Type in Exod. 16.25 God would have the Israelites to gather Manna only for the present day and to cast off all solicitousness as for the morrow And God doth this and suffers such injections of Satan to try thy faith as he did theirs which you may observe in all Gods methods of grace towards them He brought them into the Wilderness where they were to trust him for provision into the Red-sea that they might trust him with their lives And truly upon a serious consideration we shall find his methods the same in these Gospel-times Get therefore to live by faith Here may be confuted a scruple of many a poor soul being not yet come up to discover its Saintship Whether it may laugh or be merry seeing it knows not but it may be in a state of Damnation The Devil by such a temptation or injection works much upon a scrupulous soul Let such an one argue thus with himself There is no more reason for this that I should not laugh being as yet ignorant of mine eternal happiness than that I should not study or work or follow my calling in such a case for one helps me as to my spiritual state as the other But again Let such an one know this that he must exceedingly watch over his heart in such a condition for perhaps it 's joy is too carnal and by embasing of that joy he may want of spiritual comfort For he that regards the least iniquity in his heart the Lord will not hear him And perhaps this is thy bosom-pleasure pray therefore that thine heart may be moderated to such pleasures and mortified more to the world There is a temper of spirit in some Saints at sometimes although very rarely that being in a raised frame they are so full of divine love that every verse of Scripture they have read hath begotten a new extasie of joy and they have been thus for a while together yea so long that they have been weary of rejoycing this excelling sensation is too strong many times for the body and by reason of the weakness of the flesh there is not a sufficiency of spirits to fluctuate about the heart for a long time but by degrees they decay and weaken or as Mr. Lockier says Gods consolations are as your Aqua Vitae is and the Saints of a weak brain quickly turn'd with the reception of them So that God in wisdom gives us in comfort by measure lest our weak vessels should break XLVIII Consonant to that Christian cheerfulness for the describing distinguishing and regulation of which as we have had his thoughts once and again and his friends were refresh'd with this well-regulated temper in their conversation with him So in his preparatory experimental Theology we find him resolving and recording some things concerning the raising of a Christians affection and carriage with reference to the praising of God Where he notes Many souls are troubled in the examinations of themselves about their affections whether they are set more upon God or things here below and are exceeding apt to conclude against themselves Upon which observation he resolves First Thou art not to think that thine heart is to be ever actually set upon God in the midst of thy worldly affairs and therefore if thou art in thy studies or employments of any other honest particular calling If heavenly thoughts come in thou art not so to entertain them as immediately to leave off the business of thy particular calling and fall to spiritual exercises therefore one comparing the thoughts of man saith some are like to a friend others like to strangers coming to visit another man Now the friend coming at the door he will turn his friend into the door and make him tarry a while till he hath done with his stranger but the stranger being gone he will return then to his friend and he shall lodg with him perhaps all night The Application of this is very sweet you your selves may apply it But Secondly If thou canst but willingly and freely part with the world with thy corruptions and desire heartily of God that he would deaden thine heart to creatures and give in more of himself it is a sure evidence that thou takest more delight in the things of God than of the world And of this we have an example which the Apostle gives us in the Patriarchs Heb. 11.13 14. These all died in or according to faith not having received the promises but having seen them afar off and were perswaded of them and embraced them and confessed that they were strangers and pilgrims on the earth for they that say
such things declare plainly that they seek a countrey XLIX Further there from the story of the Woman of Canaan who acted faith on Christ for the cure of her daughter whereupon Christ said unto her O woman great is thy faith be it unto thee as thou willest and immediately her daughter was made whole He infers that Saints should not have slight and superficial thoughts of these outward mercies but should know these mercies come or stream from the same fountain as spiritual mercies do and can we think that sweet and sowr water come from the same fountain Oh get your hearts into an admiring spiritual praising frame for outward mercies Upon which he put this Question What is the reason that Saints find it such an hard thing for them to get their hearts into a praising frame for the receit of mercies meerly external Ans First Examine thy soul whether thou dost not set thine heart too much upon some external mercy as learning parts estate and this perhaps may be the cause why God doth not spiritualize thine heart in the reception of that food and health thou hast And here we may allude to a place of Scripture If then thou regardest iniquity in thine heart the Lord will not hear thy prayer So if thou dost idolize one creature too much God in punishing of thee will not raise thine heart to praise him for another mercy Secondly Another reason may be because thou hast not studied Christ in such mercies so as to acknowledg thou art made partaker of them by his procurement Thirdly Because thou hast not constantly liv'd upon God for the giving of them in and if God should keep some of them from thee thou couldst praise God as well as for the giving of them to thee being not regardful of thy dependance upon him for all thou hast Fourthly Examine your selves whether or no you pray'd for these mercies which you now receive and for which you find your soul indispos'd to thankefulness Assure your selves there is no greater motive to a mans thankefulness to God than when he looks upon mercies given in as a fruit of prayer Of this you may have an instance Rom. 1.8 9 10. saith Paul there I thank my God through Jesus Christ for you all that your faith is spoken of throughout the world And what is the reason Vers 9 10. For God is my witness whom I serve in my spirit in the Gospel of his Son that without ceasing I make mention of you always in my prayers making request c. L. As he had early impressions upon his heart to Sabbath-sanctification so they continued to the last For several years as some of his nearest Relatives have observ'd it was his usual practise when he rose out of his bed on the Lords-days in the mornings with a cheerful heart and voice to sing a Psalm or some part of it or spiritual Hymn for the putting of himself into a spiritual frame for the work of the day or to repeat those eucharistical expressions or salutations of the heavenly host recorded Luke 2.14 Glory to God in the highest and on earth peace good-will towardmen By this means his spirit was much rais'd and â—e shew'd himself not less zealous for the well-performance of the Lords work than he then was for the due sanctifying of the Lords-day not only in the Congregation but in his Family and amongst his Friends For hearing some of them on that blessed day talking about worldly matters he fairly rebuk'd them with kindness saying John when in the Isle of Patmos was in the spirit on the Lords-day He had acquainted us in his experiments on Saturday night the middle of June 1651. when before he went to bed he did by the spirit exceedingly heighten the free-grace of God to him of a dream of his saith he there I dreamed that some Scholars were playing at Ninepins in our Chappel on the Sabbath-day My thought when I saw them Oh! how was my spirit moved I ran amongst them kick'd them down and said Hath England lost so much blood for such sins and will you take no warning And this I utter'd very affectionately Such dreams as these lik'd me well and from thence I often gathered the frame of my spirit On a Sabbath sometime after this he records I was not in the day in so spiritual a frame as I desired my thought mine heart knew little of God which I was desirous to have been my trouble but towards the evening reading Gal. 4.9 But now that ye have known God or rather are known of God c. How kindly did that place work on me as eye-salve to my faith as fire to my love The word was this or rather being known of God It seems that was the precious word which did rest so sweetly upon the heart and so deeply affect this choice Servant of the Lord on the Lords-day when he us'd to have his heart greatly rais'd in singing of Psalms in his family and would say to his Wife and Relatives Do not you find a sweetness in this day Oh! certainly it is the sweetest day in all the week LI. In all his Relations he was a man greatly beloved and singularly useful by prayer counsel and various other ways of doing them good We have him on Feb. 25. 1652. recording an experiment which his Relatives had to his dying-day an abundant proof of His own words are At morning mine heart was melted and so at evening in a special manner Ch how evidently God made out my faith to me both for my self and others especially for our family and my other Christian friends and the Church in general for bringing peace to her Verily of a truth the spirit help'd me in that prayer I was much broken in heart and had a deep sense of the love of God A little after he adds I was much in melting humility let it be one of the evidences of thy Saintship for I never saw humility more apparent before Oh! praise thou God and never cease One of his nearest Relatives remembers he would often say in self abasement If it were possible I could do as much work for God as any man did upon earth I would not care whether it were known there were such a man as I am in the world So little regard had he to the applause of men in what he did and so little regard had he to the rewards of men that when some had told him of some small presents that such and such neighbours had presented to some of his brethren in the Ministry and thereupon asked him Whether they had been with him He answered no And subjoyn'd he was not sorry he was pass'd by in that way saying I am heartily glad I had not their presents so that I might receive my reward from my Master For I am never better pleased than to think after I have done his work that Jesus Christ hath all my reward in reversion for me yea and he would
although Men's wanton fancies would not have it so But by God's Post attempt to set their own As if that were too weak to stand alone 'T was not Event but Duty which his Eye Fixt as the measure to be guided by His Courage in this warfare was so great Nothing could ever force him to retreat But still he kept his ground as who should say If I lose that I also lose the day Therefore let Enemies do what they can My fear of God hath drown'd the fear of Man Thus did he sow in tears till now at last To him this low'ring stormy season 's past And his full sheaves of Glory make amends For light afflictions with what far transcends He liv'd belov'd and dy'd bewail'd and such Wh ' enjoy'd him most enjoy'd him not too much His Body's Earthen-vessel henceforth must Be laid up silent in its native dust Until that matter when the Trump shall sound Start with another form out of the ground He walks in his uprightness but the sense Of this his sleep should make our Diligence That when with Christ the Judg among the train Of Saints and Angels he shall come again Then in that General Assembly we May sing these Sion-songs eternally S. O. Not worthy to unloose The Latchet of his Shooes To the Reader on the Picture and Book HERE you may see some Lines of Wadsworth's face More of his thinking pow'r sublim'd by Grace His Sacramental thoughts in Prose are sweet His Sermons lively Fancies walk on feet His Letters great affections shew'd when young Yet all fall short of Wadsworth's Pulpit-Tongue A Pathetical Meditation on the Passion of Christ to be read by Communicants before their reception of the Sacrament of the Lords-Supper Quest WHat is the Sacrament of the Lords-Supper Ans It consists of two visible signs Bread and Wine which by the Lords appointment was to represent to the receiver his bloody death that so his Disciples may keep it fresh in their memories Q. But is it only to remember that there was a Christ and that he was crucified and no more Ans Experience tells us that such a bare remembrance as that doth little move upon the heart and upon the affections and so will do little or no good It is not the remembrance of any mans death that doth of it self affect me but as I consider him as a father or as a husband or as a friend with many other expressions of his love to me when living this will exceedingly work upon the heart so as to cause sorrow and grief and the like Quest What is it then that I must call to mind when I think upon a bleeding and dying Christ so as to affect my heart Answ The cruel and bloody nature of his Death here you may consider the whole story of his Arraignment his being betrayed by his own Apostle his being spit upon and crowned with thorns his being mocked and jeered by putting a reed into his hand instead of a scepter afterwards his bearing of a Cross and his being nailed to it in his hands and feet after that his being pierced through with a spear this Mat. 27. will fully acquaint you with Secondly the causes of his Death it was no natural disease neither was it for any evil done of his own but for us He bore our iniquities upon the cross Thirdly the effects of his death which was to obtain power of his Father to conquer the Devil and pull us out of his hands to break our hearts and to conquer us to himself to pardon our sins and to give unto us eternal life with himself in glory and this upon our faith and sincere repentance Now from all these things are your Meditations to be raised before you come to the Sacrament and when you are receiving of it An Example of Meditation I have here set you down as followeth Away these wanton wandering worldly thoughts you are clogs to my soul Away all trifling worldly business I cannot now attend your call my heart hath now something else to do Adieu my Friends farewell my Husband Wife and Child I must go see my bleeding Lord that 's dearer to me than you all Come now my soul thou art alone thou knowest the way make hast and speed look yonder see how the people flock cross but this vale and climb but up this Mount thou wilt soon arrive at bloody Golgotha where thou shalt see thy bleeding and dying Saviour to sigh and linger out a dying life on the Cross in love for thee This this might Oh my soul have been thy day and thou might'st have been the prisoner this I say might have been the day in which thou might'st have drunk the bitter cup of the fierce anger of God But look yonder there he goes that must drink up the dregs and all for thee Look again there he goes that must lay down his life that thou maist be reprieved But come my soul draw up a little nearer thou canst not see him well at so great a distance stand here and thou wilt see him passing look there he goes with a train of Virgins following But see how cruelly these barbarous Jews do use him they make him bear his Cross himself and press his wearied fainting limbs above his strength see how they laugh and scoff and wag their heads as if he were their May-game Methinks my heart boils up with rage to see these cruelties revenged Oh! how could the blessed God forbear to see his blessed Son thus wronged Why did he not send twelve Legions of Angels for his rescue Why doth he not send down fire from Heaven upon the heads of these his Sons enemies and so consume them But stay my foelish heart thou knowest not what spirit thou art of this debt was owing and it must be paid God requires so much and it must be given or thou canst not be saved Thy Lord did know this well enough for this he came from Heaven and committed himself to the rage of men he knew he must endure all these revilings and doth it grieve thy soul to see him thus abased Stay but a while and thou shalt see him more look up my soul come tell me what thou seest Oh I cannot sorrow tyes my tougue I cannot speak I see and hear those things that I want a power to utter I see a troop of Virgins following him their weeping eyes their blubbering lips their sighs and throbbings speak them mourners I see my Lord looks towards them and kindly chides their loving sorrow Why weep ye Oh ye Daughters of Jerusalem weep not for me My Lord what need was there for that question Should not they weep when thou must bleed Would not their eyes have been flints if that then they should not drop tears for thee when as thou wert about to pour out thy life and blood for them Ah! could they chuse or do less then weep to see thine innocent self among a herd of Tygers what should
you come to ground Ye glorious Angels and ye blessed spirits of just men made perfect that live above you that have been wading downward these five thousands of years do ye feel a bottom or are ye near one Away away my foolish heart if this be all thou hast to plead he may redeem thee and take thee for his Spouse and betroth thee to himself notwithstanding all this Object But Oh this filthy loath some fleshly self this base unthankeful earthly heart that can prefer a dunghill dross and dirt before him that can freely lay out his love to a creature like my self But Oh how hard and stiff and unrelenting am I to my God But Oh he will slight me because I have often put him off and slighted him he cannot love and die for such a one as I am Answ Cease fool thy reasonings he cannot love an enemy because thou canst not he cannot die because thy cowardly heart will not suffer thee Why should he fear the grave that had power over it And what though thou art unworthy of his love if he will have thee and make thee worthy Thy heart is base and what of that if he will mend it thy filthy rotten and polluted soul he intends to wash and cleanse it till it is without spot and wrinkle or any such thing Thy stubborn proud earthly and lustful heart he can make humble tender soft and yielding And when he hath made thee as he would why may not he take thee to himself and lay thee next his heart and delight over thee everlastingly Object But will his Father yield to this I am too poor a match for the Son and heir of all things But will he can he suffer his Son to die to buy such a beggarly thing to himself as I am Answ Away these silly simple childish thoughts how like an inhabitant of this earthly sensual world dost thou reason thou wilt not under-match and therefore will not God his Son Thou fool thou wilt not because thou canst find another equal But dost thou not know that God can find none equal to his Son he must stoop or else go without It 's true he might have gone without but what if he would not why should not Heaven have its will as well as thou Thou hast no dowry and he doth need none and yet thou arguest as if Heaven would make traffick with his Son and his love as we filly worms do here but we are beggars and so are Angels and all the glorious Hosts above they are his Creatures hang and depend upon him and cannot subsist one moment happy without supplies and helps of his Grace and why may he not bring a beggarly man as near to himself as a beggarly Angel if so it pleaseth him Object But doth it so please him Answ How often have I told thee it doth please him and hast thou not believed Come if thy hearing will not satisfie let thy seeing do it Look if thou hast eyes Come tell me doth not Heaven look as though it was pleased with the offer of his Son What cloud or darkness dost thou see about the Throne what sign or token of displeasure canst thou at all discover Open thine eyes view the God of Glory Do his looks bespeak him to be thy Father or thy Judg And canst thou not read both Husband Father and Lord and all in his countenance What not see it surely thou art blind If he had not told as much from his own mouth his eyes and looks bespeak his love and favour loud and clear enough to thee But doth he not tell thee to put thee out of all doubt this is my well beloved Son hear him hear him what 's that believe him whatsoever he says why what saith he O dull and stupid heart hast thou forgot already He said he will pay his life for thine and doth not his Father bid thee hear him He said he would reconcile thee love thee and make thee friends again And is it not comfort when the Father bids thee believe him he said he will pardon wash and cleanse thee and take thee to himself and betroth thee to him for ever and after all will give thee to see his Glory even the same Glory which he had before the world And the Father is willing to all this for he tells thee his Son is his well-beloved Son and bids thee believe him and misdoubt not one syllable And canst thou after all this doubt that the Father is not willing But do not his Angels likewise who are ministring spirits with voice and looks proclaim as much that Heaven is well pleased with the Son and with his Death and Passion and so with thee in him Do not the Angels admire the mystery of Redeeming Grace that makes them so desirous to peep into it Why did they proclaim his coming into the world and sing for joy that there was good-will in Heaven to men on earth or why do they so diligently attend thee by night and by day Thou seest them not keep guard about thy Chamber-door and round about the curtains of thy bed Why do they attend thee from room to room and follow thee down stairs and out of doors if it were not but that thou art some great Princess nearly allied to their Lord and Master Thou dost not see this blame then thine eyes and the infidelity of thy heart shall it be less true because thy base infidelity cannot digest it Thou might doubt God Heaven and every thing else on that score but hast thou not it from his own mouth that the Angels are ministring spirits for the heirs of glory Come tell me I say tell me quickly I must have an answer Can this and all this be true and Heaven yet not be pleased If God with his Son and Angels be all content that thou shouldst be restored and so exalted to such dignities as to be heir unto the Crown of Heaven if these be pleased who is there in Heaven that can else be displeased What saith my heart what not yet one word Oh how long shall I be troubled and pestered with thy unbelief Oh my God strike chide and break this flint reprove this stubborn and unbelieving heart I cannot perswade it that thou lovest me or art willing to love me I urge thy word and my best reason to prove it but I cannot make it yield Oh break I pray thee this Flint or Adamant upon thy downy breast of love strike and one blow of thine will make it fall in pieces and confess at length that thou art well pleased with thy Son and fully satisfied that he should bleed and die for me But let me try thee once again if thou hast lost thine ears and eyes I 'le see if thou hast lost thy feeling too Thou sayest thou canst not believe that God is willing to accept the Son for thee or that thou so vile a wretch canst be accepted of by the Father
refuse the seal thereof I know I am vile I am vile but thou hast pardoned me Lord I have abused thy love a thousand times refused thy offered self and withstood the tenders of thy Grace but thou hast covered all my sins thou hast freely justified me by thy Grace and made a full attonement for me by thy blood this is that thou freely biddest me take and I have freely drunk it Never was Wine so full as this is Never was Bowl so full of pleasure as this I have swallowed down my life and pardon at one draught I took it from my Saviours hand it was a cup of his own preparing If ever drink was sugared this was I never tasted better rellisht Wine in all my life The richest Cordials cannot match this draught Divine Spirits of pearls dissolved would but dead this Wine Oh when my hopes but kist the purple dews they hung and cleaved so As if they were loth to let thee go They strove and strugled to get near my heart As if intending there to take a part I dare not say them nay blood from that bowl May the best room command within my soul What a sudden strange yet happy alteration do I find within my languid spirits are revived my winter is over Methinks I feel my life and joy to spring amain My Aarons Rod a dry stick but now doth bloom and flourish My newly ingrafted soul is full of Infant-clusters Blood at the root of Vines They say produceth richest Wines Oh! if my Lord will undertake to dress this Vine and trickle down his blood into my root then draw it up into each branch of Grace by the warming beams of his reviving love then let my Dearest come let him come as he hath promised and bring my Father and his Father with him and sup both with me and in me Let them come and I will bid them a welcome I shall have a fruit to present them with which they themselves shall say is pleasant I shall not send my Father away now so oft complaining I came to seek for grapes and fruit but behold wild ones The Conclusion Oh! how unwillingly do I rise methinks I could sit here and feast my heart and eyes for ever What running-Banquets doth my Lord afford me here surely he should not need to fear that I should surfeit on himself But alas I must be gone what shall I do in yonder hungry soul-starving world again I have been feeding on my Paschal Lamb and now I must go and eat my sowr herbs but if it be his will I must obey if it be so I must arise I know thou hast prepared the endless feast above where I shall ever sit and enjoy thy love and glut my hungry eye and heart on the Banquet of thy everlasting self As yet I am now on earth my toil and work lyes heavy on my hands I have yet an afternoon to labour out God knows my work is hard too hard for me my self to perform I scarcely should have lasted out so long but that sometimes at such seasons as this is he repaired my sinking spirits by pouring in the Cordials of his Blood Now I must go and perhaps find as sharp conflicts with my self as ever I know the World and Hell have been laying their snares and gins to catch my new-fledg'd soul and all conspire against my welfare Now it is well if I escape a fall a bruise a breaking of my bones in which sad plight I have so often lain that my Lord might have took me for dead but that my groanings told him loudly I lived Lord must I leave this feast must I go Take me then by the hand and lead me if I must walk let me see thee by me that I may know I walk with my God Lead me away and I will go with thee and let me not go till thou bringst me hither again I cannot will not live without thee And do thou Lord say I must not shall not If both our hearts in love so well agree What then shall separate my Christ from me A Meditation on the Death of Christ Preparative to the Sacrament Pen'd for his private use BUT is he dead Oh sad yet joyful news how strangely is my soul amazed and diversly mov'd and troubl'd by these contrary passions methinks I could pull up the floodgates of my sorrow and vent it out in tears but something bids me hold Shall I mourn for him that 's just now past his state of mourning He 's dead and what of that And so are all his griefs his bloody sweats his sighs and groans concluded He hath drunk on the brook in the way bitter while they were in his mouth and he was living but sweet now they have sunk into his belly and and he in Heaven Sweet to him because it was his work and he hath finisht it and sweet to me because it was the potion of sorrow death hell that I must have taken And canst thou mourn methinks if thou didst love thine heart should rather sympathize with his He is singing and shalt thou be sighing He is joying that his work is done and now is welcoming into Heaven by God his Father and shouting up by Angels voices as the great Conquerour of the hearts of men on earth and that now in triumph he is returned And will a mournful weed a wet eye and a cloudy brow become thee at these times of Festivals Shall the Heavenly Angels be joyful and thou sad How strangely will this be construed Will it not be said thou dost not love him or thou dost envy his recovered glory that he had left and now again hath taken Or that thou canst not endure to see him wear his Princes Crown in Heaven that for a time he had laid aside to come down to the earth to fetch thee thence to Heaven But ah my Lord thou wilt not sure interpret sorrow thus thou hast not sure forgot to give a meaning unto tears to teach a sigh to speak and then to know its language Hath my Lord forgot so suddenly that he was on earth and that he sweat and groan'd and wept and bled as well as I do now What though now all tears and sorrow and sighing is done away and he ceaseth to be any longer subject to our infirmities yet sure he knows it is not thus with us I am not yet in Heaven nor am I yet quite past the vale of sorrow and it cannot then be strange to him if he sees sometimes our faces look of a sadder hue than those that are in Heaven But why should thus my tears be check'd and my throbbing heart be chidden were it for a thing of nought I might be counted fool or child but shall my Saviour die and vent his soul in a stream of blood and all in love to me and shall he thus forsake the world and die and then be laid in the grave and I be denied the liberty of following
humble our selves by confessing it was justly done Take the course that Daniel did upon a Fast-day as this may be when he was interceding with God for the people of Israel to bring them back out of Captivity as you are this day that God would not burn it again he did it by confessing of sin and all sorts of sin Dan. 9.5 O Lord saith he thou art a great God a God on thy part keeping covenant and promise to them that love thee and keep thy commandments but as for us we have sinned and committed iniquity and done wickedly and have rebelled even by departing from thy precepts and from thy judgments neither have we hearkened to thy servants the Prophets which spake in thy name to our King and Princes and Fathers O Lord righteousness belongeth to thee but to us belongeth confusion of face To us who of us to our King to our Princes to our Fathers all deserve to be put to shame why because we have sinned against thee This is our work this day to humble our selves before God to humble our selves for our sins here in this City against God whereby he was provoked to burn our Habitations Thirdly Is God the cause of all punishments and are all punishments for sin then from hence you may gather that London is a very wicked City Why because God is very angry with it and it is certain he is never angry without great cause men may be angry without a cause and we may chide one another without a cause yet God never is angry without cause and in as much as God hath shewn himself angry with London it is a sign London hath given God a great deal of cause for his anger What cause hath London given God to be angry with them Truly when I begin to think of London's sins they are so many that it puzzles me where to begin or where to make an end but however let us name some of them why did God burn London for London's pride London had lifted it self up in pride against God and God pulled London down he pulled it into ashes to make the proud ones of London know what they are and what their Cities are nothing but dust and ashes My Brethren God is a great enemy against pride for the great King of Babylon's pride he took away his reason and turned him into a beast and turned him a grazing with the Cattel Pride God resisteth the proud he is a great enemy to the proud a great adversary to them and to their projects and designs but he sheweth grace to the humble Wherein doth London appear proud proud in their Apparel proud in their Houses proud in their gestures proud in their Professions they are guilty of all these sorts of pride I cannot stand to speak much of it but the Lord open your understandings and your hearts that you may see where the guilt lyeth the fantastick dresses of many of the Londoners that is one sort the pride of their hearts that 's another sort The next sort of sins are London's luxury drunkenness gluttony their excessive feasting their prodigal expences London is a wanton City instead of worshipping God in spirit it is a City for a great part that sacrificeth as it were unto Bacchus and Ceres they make their belly their god Oh the drunkenness of London the gluttony of London Is it not so Again the covetousness of London God was angry with Israel for being covetous why you covet gold more than grace covet earth more than heaven Oh the injustice the wrong-getting the lying the perjury in getting of Estates Oh the covetousness in keeping in not laying out proportionable to what God gave you to do good to others God hath given you a Talent and you wrap it in a napkin or which is worse you prodigally spend it upon your lusts that make nothing of ten or twenty pounds to bestow upon a vain feast and grudg to give an Angel or twenty shillings for the help of any of the poor servants of God is not this a sin do you think when you are so liberal to your own lusts and you are so heart-bound and hand-bound towards God and his people yea certainly and an highly provoking sin too Again London's prophanation of the Lords-day God all the time of the Law was very zealous for his Sabbath and he had a Controversie with Israel often upon the account of his Sabbath and there are many Promises that he gave them to encourage them to keep his Sabbath If thou wilt keep my Sabbaths and count them thy delight the holy of the Lord honourable I will make thee honourable and great in the world but if not I will pull thee down and destroy thee and make thee the tail and not the head Hath not this been one of London's great sins How full of walkers have the streets been on the Sabbath how full have the fields about this City been on the Lords day what playing what drinking what drunkenness at every Alehouse especially your by Alehouses in London and in the Fields How few in London do strictly observe the Lords-day that pray with their Family in the morning that take care that their whole Family wait upon God all that day in his Ordinances that when they come home at night are careful to see what they profit by what they hear How few are there in London that spend the Lords day as they should do God hath a Controversie with you for this What account can you Masters give of your servants souls What care have you had over them either all the week days or else on the Lords day What have you done for them For your sinful neglect herein God is angry with you For the adultery and uncleanness of London for the whoredoms of Israel the land mourneth for the whoredom of London London was burnt God punished the City with one fire for the sin of another that is the fire of lust But my Brethren it is not barely these sins that God hath been angry with London for but for the aggravations of them Why wherein First For the brazen-facedness of them alas we know that these sins may be found every where ay but we are grown impudent sinners brazen-faced sinners we are not ashamed of our sins but we can be drunk with boldness and commit adultery and boast of it We can sin as Absalom lay with his Fathers Concubines in the face of the Sun before all Israel Here is the aggravation of the sin now it is not the drunkenness only of London and swearing and perjury and Sabbath-breaking but London's shamelesness in it As God when he came to reprove Israel and threatens Judgments upon her saith he Thou hast a brazen face thou hast the looks of an harlot thou dost sin and thou dost not blush at it Truly this hath been London's sin they will swear and receive no reproof be drunk and scorn a reproof it is the very mode of
thousands that will not What if we here resolve to be sober how many will go on to be drunk if we resolve to keep the Lords-day how many shall we find selling next Lords-day in the fields or streets playing and at Ale-houses and Taverns drinking to drunkenness What shall we do here let not others wickedness discourage you to be good Despair not God doth not stand upon the repentance of a whole City as to make it necessary for him to save it or to save a Kingdom but if there be any that do convert and turn if there be any that do set themselves to humble themselves for the sins of others and do intercede for Gods mercy in his staying with a people God will have respect to a City and a Kingdom for their sake Let us and let all that fear the Lord this day up and down London resolve all to reform and bemoan the sins of London before God and therein become intercessors for London so we might prevent London's ruin For a conclusion let me add these encouragements to perswade you to reform notwithstanding the generality of London will not reform still 1. Because God will have you to reform though others do not God speaketh to all to reform do not you say I will not because others will not it is thy duty if others do not thou dost but thy duty when thou dost it though ten thousands neglect it 2ly God will take it better at thine hands if thou wilt reform in a wicked City than if the whole City were generally good Why because the service is more difficult it is an harder thing for a righteous Lot to live in a Sodom than to live in a place where more godly persons dwell It is an eminent piece of service and an eminent testimony we give to God of our love to him when we can serve him in a place where he is despised his Laws broken and he rebelled against 3ly Some of you must reform or it is certain God will go on still to be angry with London and if God go on wo unto us surely it will be very bitter in the end God hath not yet spent all his venom'd darts He hath more and greater plagues than yet we have felt and nothing but the repentance and heart-reformation at least of some of us I say of some of us that we may become fit intercessors for the rest can prevent the pouring of them forth upon us But you will say Is it possible to have greater than to have an hundred thousand swept away by the Pestilence in one City and in one year than to have such a famous City burnt down in three days Yes If God should but suffer Popery to come in it would be greater If God should bring in a company of bloody Papists that should threaten you with burning or else with provoking God by gross Idolatry you will say it is a greater when you shall live in a London and in England and not hear of Christ Jesus preached to you from one end of the year to the other I think it will be a plague and to have it brought in too by a foreign enemy No perhaps you will say God will never do so This was Israels old presumption What God that brought us out of Egypt he destroy us What! that God that hath known us and hath been our God and hath signified himself our God by many mercies He that walked with us and we with him he send a foreign enemy it is impossible Do not deceive your selves God was as much engaged to the seed of Abraham as to London as to England and what he hath done he can do again This is one of the greatest Judgments that can befall the Land if God should take away the Gospel leave us in darkness and blindness take the Candlestick away and give us up to Idolatry and say as to Ephraim He is joined to Idols let him alone Repent reform lest worse things come upon you Let the Lord see you after this day that you are a more careful watchful circumspect people in the whole course of your lives and conversations and if so doubtless God will have this day an ear open to your prayer he will have an heart ready to pity you and to compassionate you when you cry you shall be numbred among those Intercessors that have stood in the gap that have kept wrath from coming in upon England to the utter ruin of it A Meditation for the raising of mine heart above discouragements under slightings in my Ministry WHAT mean these drooping groans and this languor of thy spirits as if thou hadst neither life nor heat What 's become of thy wonted joy and magnanimity in the course of thy Ministry Thou lookest and seemest as if a weary of thy work what is the cause Is it that Gods glory is less that thou car'st not whether he is honoured or dishonoured by men or what is it That he is not so good to theee as formerly Hast thou not meat drink and cloaths as freely and fully as ever Is thine health or strength abated Or is the Throne of Grace or the way to it shut up Is God angry with thee This were cause indeed but nothing else if thou enjoyest this Or what is it that thou canst not see these so well his honour and these mercies are so much prized Oh! none of these are the cause Gods glory is the same and his mercies they are continued and constant to me as ever And it 's not because I want a rellish of them I do not serve an hard Master that makes me weary of serving him Why what then is the matter Hath he recalled his promise or denied himself and abated thy wages Oh! no Heaven and earth shall pass away but not a tittle of his word and let God be true though all else be lyars What is it are the souls of men less precious or their eternal life and safety now less dangerous Is fire less hot and Hell less tormenting Are not the joys of Heaven so much to be desired and so is the work of the Ministry less needful Is not the case the same to deliver men from so many burning coals as when Christ his Prophets and Apostles preached Art thou then weary Oh! no my strength 's the same But Oh! I am unprofitable to my God I am slighted they wonder I can come into a Pulpit and have no more to say How and is that me a poor worm and wilt thou be thus crusht with such a straw and lose thy spirits under such a contemptible weight 1 And didst thou not expect to meet with such things before who bid thee go and set thee on this work and promis'd thee every hour a word wa st not told thou shouldst be persecuted slighted scoffed at And was it not predicted there should be scoffers in the last times as in the first Why didst not think of this before a wise
man would have done it 2 And was not God himself slighted by those that were invited to the feast Was not Christ worse than slighted and was not Paul called a Babler and the Gospel foolishness 3 But consider further Is not the Gospel and the God of it slighted in thee the message thou knowest is not thine but his that sent thee 4 And think is it not natural for the carnal mind to have unsavoury dark foolish thoughts of the Gospel was it not always so did not Christ wonder seeing their unbelief 5 But think it 's God in Christ or the strictness and spiritualness of the Gospel that they undervalue and think nothing of the excellency of They say it 's thou speakest nothing they would say the other but they dare not speak out and so they cast it on thee and art thou not willing rather to suffer than it wouldst not thou have interposed thy face to Christ to have received the spittle and kept it from him and thine head to have been crowned with thorns and what dost thou shrink in taking of this 6 But think what reason have they to charge thee with a nothingness and impertinency in preaching what mean so many to follow thee they may hear nothings and impertinencies nearer home Wherefore go on chearfully and boldly in thy work and regard not what some few scoffers say when thou art carrying on that work for the good of souls which the Lord will own and bless HYMN I. WHat ails my soul to look so wan My vitals they are fled What faintings do I feel within My heart as 't were is dead Love-beams do shine full in my face From off the throne above They sparkle glories round my soul Yet yet I cannot love I see the Heavens open wide My Lord upon his throne I see his Saints all cloth'd in gold Bedeckt with glittering stone I fee a Crown held in his hand To set upon my head If once I were laid low in grave Yet yet my heart is dead What my distemper is God knows It 's cause I can unfold My heart lay down upon the earth And there it caught a cold This this alone had been enough My health to overthrow But I of flesh a surfeit took Which made my grief to grow Lord what compassions in thy looks What pearls stand in thine eye Like a kind friend thou turn'st away As loth to see me die No cordials can my sp'rits revive Those glorious sights do'nt move Oh I am lost there is no hope I see yet cannot love My God! my God! don 't me forsake If I must needs then die Whil'st I am breathing out my last Oh! do but thou stand by Help help thou great soul-curing God In languishments I lye Speak but the word my heart revives Oh yet I shall not die I find my native heat restor'd My wonted joys return I love thee Lord I love thee now With love my heart doth burn Oh what are all the things below What toys they seem to me When shall I leave them and come up To dwell my Lord with thee HYMN II. The Souls Farewell to her Body TIr'd with a body now at last In travel on my road I must take Inn and rest my self I must of flesh unload I see my prison-walls fall down And mold'ring into dust I feel my chains of flesh break off As eaten up with rust Oh! I am going help my God! A little respite give Reverse thy sentence add some years That I on earth may live Ah! foolish soul how fond of life Dost thou thy self betray Why a few minutes more dost thou With tears for life thus pray Are not the years enough thou ' st been A Pilgrim here below Thy Father calls bids come away Ah! fool thou wilt not go What seest thou in this wicked world That thus delights thine eye A father brother or dear friends Thou ' lt find them all on high Thy Saviour hath a Palace there Imbost about with Gold Thine's but a den where now thou dwell'st Whose walls scarce keep out cold What canst thou see more than thou hast The same Sun runs its round The rivers ebb and flow alike No new thing can be found The pleasant faces of thy friends Thou feest but o're again The sweets of meats and drinks thou tasts Are but the very same Yet these sweet and beloved things Have thorns been in thy side Their Prickles have so torn thy heart Thou scarce could'st them abide But Oh thou lump of Gold my Soul How full of dross and tin Thy Father would but melt thee now And purge thee of thy sin Thou art my Soul a ball of light Here in dark lanthorn place't God in a golden socket would Thee set to burn not waste Arise my Soul come shake thy plumes Prepare thy self for flight Like a fledg'd Eagle mount aloft And bid the world Good-night Farewell then dearest friends farewell Farewell fond world I say Lord now I come Oh take me up With sighs and groans I pray HYMN III. The Resurrection of our Blessed Lord. ON Golgotha that fatal day While Christ on Cross did bleed The whole Creation groan'd they say To see that bloody deed The Earths big heart with sorrow swells Which burst out in earth-quakes The Sun his eye hides in a cloud The lowring Heaven shakes The bodies of the dead arise Most ghastly look and wonder Because mens hearts nor garments rent The Vale doth tear asunder Yet one thing do I admire more To see a God-man dead His breathless royal trunk they took And laid in grave deaths-bed Like conquer'd captive there he lies In th' prison of a grave Three days the tyrant death him holds In fetters like a slave So long said he I 'le lye then cry'd Hell grave death do your worst Fast tye me bind me chain my hands I 'le all your fetters burst Rowl rowl a stone upon his tomb The Jews of Pilate pray Set watch and ward lest that his friends By night steal him away With bills and lanthorns there they stand With scoffs they him deride See how he riseth jeeringly They flout one very side At length the third days morn doth dawn Our Lord begins to ' wake Whilest the hard stony Cover-lid Away the Angel takes Look look the watch-men see they run As frighted hark their crys The buried Jesus he is risen We saw him with these eyes Shout shout for joy ye Saints of his This is your Saviour dear When you this wretched life must leave Graves Coffins do not fear This day a perfect conquest he Of grim-lookt death hath made Your moulder'd rotted bodies he Can raise as he hath said HYMN IV. Of our Lords Ascension into Heaven I Sometime wondred why thou Lord Those forty-days didst stay On earth betwixt thy Grave and Crown Or thy Ascension day It seems most like a Captain great After some bloody fights Who walks to shew his friends he lives And puts his Host to rights Thus all things
setled up he mounts Upon his Royal Steed Who prancing through the streets is prais'd For his victorious deed Just so my glorious blessed Prince With vict'ry on his side Being won with ghastly gaping wounds In triumph he must ride Down with a Chariot made of clouds From th' Palace-yard on high His Father sent to setch his Son In great solemnity Before he steps up to his seat Like Royal Prince he gave Rich-wonder-working gifts to 's friends And then he took his leave Strait at command the foaming winds With prancings up they fly Proud of the burthen that they drew A load of Majesty When he got home Oh! with what shouts Of joy did Heav'n resound When th' Father sat him on his Throne And there himself him crown'd Angels and Saints do all at once The Song of the Lamb sing As worthy of all honour praise Yea worthy to be King Sit there thou great Victorious Prince At thy Fathers right hand Bring down thine en'mies to thy feet Rule all by thy command HYMN V. The Souls Access LOrd hear my knocking 's hark my crys Want drives me to thy door Oh! chide not do not say Away I was here once before Where shall I go thou only hast That life none gives beside I went about the world to beg For life but all deni'd Thou art my God and Saviour To thee I naked creep Besmear'd in blood and tears I lie Lord pity see I weep If I have sin'd Lord thou hast di'd To free me thou wast sent And thou hast said I shall not die If that I will repent Justice Oh hold a while thy stroke Suffer a sinner plead It 's for my life one word and then Strike on and make me bleed If I had sin'd and would not yield But stoutly stand it out Thy wrath might then have broacht my heart And let my life run out If I had heard a Christ was come With open arms to save Had I not run for refuge there Mercy I might not crave Now Justice strike 't is done but see Where I incircled lye Within the folds of Jesus arms Strike in his arms I 'le die Chear up my heart the storm is o're Justice is ris'n and gone All thy accusers creep away Thy Christ is lest alone What blessed voice was that I heard My Son rise off thy knees Thy sins are pardon'd thou art free And I have paid thy fees Lord what a quick dispatch hast thou In grace giv'n to my cause I am arraign'd acquit set free By thy most gracious Laws Had I not guilty dar'd to plead Though fraught with Angels skill How sure my impannel'd conscience would Have sought and found the bill HYMN VI. The descent of the Spirit WHO knows the winds from whence they come Or whither they do go The holy breathings we receive Are from the Spirit ev'n so Sometimes its cooling gales we feel On Conscience all on fire Sometimes its cooling heats we find Our nummed hearts inspire This is that Holy Ghost that Christ Did promise for to send This is that pow'rful Spirit that Our stubborn hearts must bend Jerusalem the City was Design'd for his descent Thither the Christians at th' command Of th' Heavenly Angel went No sooner were they set but straight A mighty tempest rose Shook the foundations of the house Which they for pray'rs had chose Struck with amazement soon there fell Flames shap't both flat and long Which hovering light upon each head Much like a Cloven-tongue Those little fiery bushes were But wonders for to shew That th' wonder-working Spirit was Come down to men below For straight he tun'd each Christians tongue All Languages to speak The Parthians Medes and Elamites To them their minds might break Thousands of Salem flock to see This strange unheard-of thing They flock too fast for they forget Good hearts with faith to bring Some are amaz'd but others scoff Some praise but others say They have too much of tongue they 'r drunk With much new wine to day Oh injur'd God! how can'st thou bear These dreadful Blasphemies These wonders speak thy Gospel true They say it 's nought but lyes Scarce fifty days now past thy Son With nails they Crucifi'd And now to heap up sin on sin Thy Spirit they deride Instead of wrath Gods bowels yern Yet thinks them thoughts of Grace The bleeding Christ while Peter preacht The Spirit gave them chace Three thousand hearts at once he struck Who bleeding came and cri'd What shall we do we do believe On Christ we Crucifi'd O holy conquering Spirit thou Those souls did'st captivate This is a second wonder wrought Which we with Songs relate Oh let me find thy heats within As a refiners fire Purge from my heart all dross and sin This this is my desire HYMN VII First Part. THOU dreadful Judg whose Majesty Angels themselves adore That can't with open face thee see But clap their wings before When thou with whispers dost but chide The arch of Heaven doth quake Big-bellied clouds forth lightning bring And into thunders break When that thy wrath it doth but breathe Great storms of whirlwinds rise Hail snow and rain come tumbling down Whilest th' trembling sinner flies The lofty mountains stoop their heads To hide them in their vales Great men and Princes shrink for fear Their hearts and courage fails Some high and mighty Angels hatcht Treason against his Crown He spar'd them not but from their Throne With vengeance pull'd them down He chains of darkness on them laid As pris'ners doth them keep Against the great and terrible day When hardest hearts shall weep When the old world thy name forgot And laid aside their fears The gentle wrathful Heavens wept Drowns it with showers of tears When Sodom and Gomorrah burnt With fires of wanton lust With flakes of fir'd brimstone thou Those Cities burnd'st to dust Sion it self that darling hill In Salem that did stand Them both for slaying of thy Son Thou mad'st a fire-brand Our bleeding carcasses thy sword leaves reeking on the ground Yet after this we no more fear Than men fall'n in a swound Second Part. When thou O mighty God shalt come Riding upon the wind To judg the world Oh! in what place Will th' wicked refuge find How shall we hear thy shrill voice't trump Cleaving th' air asunder To wake our ashes in their graves With noise like claps of thunder Lord what a glorious train is that That on their wings do ride Look how they post in full career Thronging on either side Oh! they 're the Angels of the Lord Egypt's first-born that slay'd That took poor Lazarus soul that di'd And him in bosom laid The Trump shall sound and Michael then Th' Archangel strait shall cry Arise you dead to judgment come The Lord your lives must try Look how the wicked's bodies crawl Like Toads out of their den What ghastly fearful looks they bear They look like frighted men Why do you sinners now thus quake Call for your
the depth of winter But Divine Paul did nothing thus complain Knowing such speeches were but fondly vain He wing'd his prayers and out the ark he sent This winged Dove ' fore whom the clouds did rent And gave her way 't length to th' Mercy-throne She came and light and there did vent a groan When all-eyed mercy there her once did spy He gave an Olive-branch and bad her hie Home to her Master bid her speak him peace That out of prison he would all release But that in chief his servant Paul should know Before great Caesar he 's reserv'd to go The Dove returning o're his breast did hover And there this message to him did discover Good news received Paul he doth impart It to them all which did revive each heart Courage my friends the God of Wind hath said He will deliver be not you afraid Fear not the wide mouth'd yawnings of the deep It sha'nt you swallow for he will you keep We have long fasted fill'd with grief ye know Eat somewhat now then take the rest and throw To th' greedy Ocean whose hot stomack may Concoct digest the rest without delay With much ado each down he gets a bit Standing or tumbling none could hardly sit Besides their fears and unbelief together Spoke in their stomacks 't was but windy weather A poor small morsel serv'd as little beer A little serves the stomack fill'd with fear Some joy they had in that they did discover That near some Island their tost-Ship did hover Some anxiously lookt on the little boat And wisht with all their hearts it were afloat Hoping thereby their dying lives to save But that told it would but prove their grave At length they all content themselves to stay Longingly waiting when it would be day Time paid their waitings night-shades did begin To fleet away while the thick fogs grew thin The huge black raven of the blackest night Draws up her wings and yieldeth to the light Great Holypheer awaking lent his eye By which a creek and shore they did espy Weary of waters thither they would fain Have thrust their Ship to leave the cruel Main One plies the rudder others anchors tug Which with main force they into Ship do hug Others hoist up their titter'd-tatter'd fails Strugling for shore yet all their labour fails Two Seas had meeting strugled thereabout Which in contention and a furious rout Casting up gravel at each others face Had piled a huge mount upon that place Thither their Ship they fearless drew in hast Which ran a ground and in her keel stuck fast One part did swim another sands stuck in And so another contest did begin Both land and water doth a little plead Whose is the Ship they neither are agreed One says she's mine th' other doth deny And so the wrangling contest doth grow high Neptune pleads title from the end she 's made And that her back doth fit his back he said But the Land says th' materials are hisn But one to th' other would not yield to lissen They both conclude no longer to contend But by main force the hot dispute to end One tugs behind the other holds before And ne'r left tugging till they had her tore One snatcht a rib th' other held the skin One broke a piece without th' other one within Th' trembling Passengers this fray did see They did conclude on either side to be They court the waves for parcels of her prey And o're those planks their shiv'ring bodies lay Making for land as fast as they could carry Which if they toucht would kiss and ever tarry A Sinners unregenerate inside turn'd outside Or the language of the Kingdom of Darkness SUrely the fool hath said 'T was not God the Heav'ns made If he be he must be blind That our actions cannot mind Whether we do ill or well He in Heav'n cannot tell When one dies who doth know VVhither doth his spirit go Heavens glory is a toy So are all the tales of joy Hell is but a childs bug-bear Only silly fools can scare Him I count a fool that saith I do live a life of faith He talks idly that doth say I got bread by pray'r to day Thou maist have as full a purse VVhether pray or whether curse He shall prove the richest man That both cheat and cozen can But thou blind fool if Heaven and Hell prove true Thou these black speeches shalt most sadly rue How if they do thou blinded muffled buzzard Thou art a fool such weighty things to hazard Grace is but a fancied dream Nothing yet doth something seem A conceit of melancholy There is nothing that is holy Drunkards do more joys inherit Than those that do pray by the Spirit I am proud and that 's a sin I will then be proud again I do swell in ostentation That is my sweet recreation I ambitious am of place That I count my sweetest grace But contentious I am I have always lov'd the same I a hater am of men I profess it well what then I speak to mens faces fair When for them I do not care He that takes from me a pin To strive to hang him is no sin Those that the world above me prize I will spatter them with lyes If an action I do well I love those that will me tell It doth much delight my soul When I hear my neighbours scowl It my joy doth much enhance To put my friends at variance I matter not who th' loser be So the gain doth come to me So much for my Father care That I wish in Heav'n he were For I think his money can When he 's dead make me a man Yet what were this mother of rust If it w'ant to serve my lust If the Harlot doth command It commandeth Sea and Land Spreads my table fills my pot Then destroyeth all the shot If a God I would adore Gold 't should be to pay my score Fidlers Tapsters company Love I more then th' Pageantry Of the holy brotherhood And I think my judgment 's good This talking beast what he doth plainly utter Sinner but think thy heart doth only mutter The foul beast that I describe Is of the Pharontick tribe Where the Babylonian King Grazed we must put him in Let them lye out both together Both expos'd to wind and weather Let them in the fields abide While night-dews do wet their hide When they do lament their sin Turn them into men again The Rout. Demetrius Act. 19.23 c. HEroick Paul in this thy soul was brave That wouldst a Crown though gotten by the grave Undaunted spirit that could face a King And count great Caesar but a common thing Could'st speak thy message with a stately grace In all things acted as became thy place God's spokes-man should be stout where e're he stands When 't is to utter what his God commands If God to Athens will with message send He dare with wife men there for God contend Their Temples Golden altars
fire I soon with beams it crown'd So now my flame grew higher O what a warmth I felt Each pow'r about did glow My soul began to melt And round my body flow Lord cri'd I what a bliss What lavish glory 's this We feel when thou dost shake And dost our hearts to fitters break A Divine SONG I. COME O ye winged Angels from above Can you not tell me news of him I love Where he ascended When the Clouds him took And wafted him Beyond what we could look Did he not pass the Sun and pierce the sky Tell me Tell me For it 's the same that here did die II. What did he when within your gates he came Did he strip off his rags or wear the same Yea but much mended Each jag glory wore They are the same But brighter than before That very torn flesh now wears Majesty And shall And shall When time yields to eternity III. Go search the Thrones and tell me where 's his place You may him know by th' shinings of his face Is'nt he set higher Then all your degrees Of Seraphims Or Cherubs if you please Doth not his brightness Put your glory out And you And you Fall down to worship round about IV. Can you inform me what 's his business there Whether of us he taketh any care Doth there burn incense Are perfumes there sweet Are there the prayers Which we lay at his feet Doth he accept them and his Father too Tell me Tell me But nought but what you know is true V. You flaming fires that attend his will Can you inform how long 't will be until The winged winds shall Bring their Royal load Or how long he Will make with you his ' bode Are you preparing clouds whereon to ride Oh when Oh when Will you come flaming by his side VI. If you him see pray tell his longing bride Begs that he comes the world his stay deride We groan for freedom Their sins vengeance cries Since we are fit O will the Lord arise Will he come crown us and the wicked burn Or stay Or stay Till more stray-souls unto him turn VII If that's his meaning tell him then that we Wait still believing and will patient be We know he will not Quite forget us here We are belov'd Which will at length appear Let him but purge us scowr off our rust And then And then Let him but haste us to the dust A wounded Conscience I. CHide chide no longer I do smart Thy words my Soveraign they are keen They plow deep surrows in my heart And scatter seeds of wrath between Oh! what an harvest is here like to be Thou maist reap glory but I misery II. My sin is poyson rank enough Do not with it thine anger blend If thou wilt force me drink it up It will it self work out my end If thou would'st have me die thou need'st not go But to my Conscience whence doth venom flow III. If thou intendest to torment Thou need'st not send me down to hell Keep thou but up an angry look It 's pain enough where e're I dwell Where thy beams shine not but keen angers flame Must make hell-torment or a pain wants name IV. Guns fire nor sword doth Soldier fright The Mariner laughs in a storm The Shepherd fearless is by night The Martyr counts his fire but warm If thou but cast'st a frown my spirits fail My heart it panteth and my looks wax pale V. Though my Spirit doth rocky seem If thou in anger dost it smite It gusheth forth in briny stream That even suffocates my light Thy frowns may well cause dews in flinty mind When at thy blows hard marble tears can find A Petition for a prospect of Immortalities HUmbly my God! I beg of thee I might Discharg'd a while from prison take my flight Into those regions where I may converse With naked Spirits let my conceptions dress Sit close and comely to each thing that I With a clean mind shall venture to descry While Earths dull off spring children of the night To coop their thoughts in shades of sense delight While Owls and Bats are flut'ring with their wings About this gross dark world for earthly things Oh! let me snatch a glimpse of that above And steal a glance of thee thou God of love Why is my half a spirit if that I May not converse with Spirits till I die May I converse with thee thou dazling Sun Father of Spirits why not when I 've done May not I look upon the Stars and take A view of their less brightness while I ' wake Why should my Taper sweal away for nought But me to gaze on things scarce worth a thought Scarce worth a thought if but compar'd to thee And that retinue that in Heaven be O charge me not of niceness that I fain Of other worlds would some small knowledg gain Pass me not home if thou a Pilgrim find Me in my travels alas my wearied mind Is tir'd with this world this muddy smoke From Earth doth ev'n my languid spirits choak Let me but take a little air that I May be refresht then home again I 'le hie I do conceive a vast extended Sphere Farther above the Stars than we are here Repleat with matter some thick some thin and light In which are bodies some opake and bright Tumbling about so doth our earth where we As on a float swim round the world we see In th' center of which orb as in a Throne Sits the adored Triad all alone Shooting their Omnipresent beams about Filling the Sphere within and space without Without I dare not say they idle are For God is pleas'd not only here but there Yet we are sure throughout this golden ring His beams have been faecund in ev'ry thing And do continue chearing as a Hen Her Chicks does nourish in her father'd den But their productions vary some opake That eyes may see nose smell and hands may take Others so fine so rare that no sense can Grope out a touch such is the sp'rit in man Such are the Angels spirits more refin'd From earthly tincture than the humane mind Such that no razor knife or sword can wound Where was the carcass of an Angel found As glassie Scissers would clip off a ray Just so keen steel may cut a spirit in tway Spirits through steel can freelier pass than light Can through that Scisser that it takes its flight In fire they burn not having no flesh to fry Where did you see an Angel Martyr die They sport about the belly of the deep And yet their sides no briny-tears do weep Just as I 've seen the Sun pass through her beams And pierce the bosom of clear crystal streams Yet have they liv'd unquench'd nor have they been Moistned with th' cold dampy parts within Cast them in pits ram them up fast with earth From these dark wombs they 'l find a pass for birth Clap them in dungeons lock them up in chest Stop up