O Lord Zach. 12.10 prepare our hearts to Prayer and so assist us with thy holy Spirit of Prayer and Supplication Rom. 8.26 27. that our Prayers may be acceptable Rev. 8.3 4. and we may receive a gracious Answer in and for the sweet Incense and Merits of the Lord Jesus Christ our blessed Lord and Saviour Amen O eternal Deut. 32.27 most gratious merciful everlasting everliving Exod. 34.6 7. Jer. 10.11 1 Tim. 1.17 Isaiah 46.9 10. Rom. 8.28 Rom. 11.33 34 35 36. and only wise God who orderest all things according to the Counsel of thy own most just and holy Will and disposest of all for thy own eternal Glory and the eternal good of thy Church and Children in Christ Jesus of whom may we seek for Protection and safety of Soul or Body or any other blessing but of thee our God and heavenly Father in our Saviour Christ from whom cometh every good and perfect Gift James 1.17 with whom is no variableness nor shadow of turning The last night we durst not lay down our eyes to sleep Psal 132.4 nor suffer the temples of our head to take any rest until we had begged thy gratious Providence for preservation of us and ours in particular and of thy whole Church in general And thou O blessed God who art the hearer of Prayer hast in thine abundant goodness heard our Prayer Psal 65.2 Psal 66.18 19 20. and brought us to the light of this day blessed be thy great and glorious Name thou mightest O Lord in thy Justice have consumed us by Fire to ashes Exod. 12.29 30. and made our Beds our Graves One or more of us might have been stricken with some terrible tormenting Sickness we might have been found dead in our Beds as many have been many other miseries might have befallen us But in thy great mercy thou hast spared us Lam. 3.22 23. and renewed thy mercies to us this Morning What shall we render to thy heavenly Majesty for thy Favours And now we dare not adventure into the World without intreating thy Protection and Blessing in and upon our just and lawful Endeavours We confess O Lord we are not worthy the least of all thy mercies Genesis 32.10 and thy loving-kindnesses which from time to time thou hast shewed to thy Servants We acknowledge we have not been sensible of that original corruption of our depraved Natures Eph. 2.1 2 3. and our proneness to Sin drawn from our first Parents corrupted by their lamentable Fall Genesis 3.6 7. Genesis 6.5 nor have we humbled our selves in sence of this our misery as we should have done we have not kept our Hearts with all diligence out of which are the issues of death Prov. 4.23 But our Hearts have followed our Eyes beholding Vanity Jer. 4.14 Psal 141.3 and vain thoughts have too long lodged within us We have not set a watch O Lord before our Lips and kept the doors of our Mouths but many idle unprofitable sinful words for which we must answer at the Day of Judgment have been uttered by us to thy dishonour Mat. 12.36 and evil example of others yea Eph. 4.4 29 30. too many times corrupt Communications to the grief of thy holy Spirit Psal 39.1 Psal 119.67 We have not taken heed to our Feet to walk in the right wayes of thee O Lord but gone aside from the Pathes of thy Commandements and so have been guilty of many actual transgressions both in thought word and deed breaking thy most righteous Lawes We have failed in the Duties of our several particular Relations as Husband to Wife and Wife to Husband Parents to Children and Children to Parents Masters or Dames to Servants and Servants to them not performing our Duties in the fear of God as we ought to have done We have not walked as becometh Christians towards others nor done as we would they should do to us according to that Golden Rule of our blessed Saviour Mat. 7.12 Phil. 1.27 So that by our good Conversation as becometh the Gospel of Christ others might have been stirred up to glorifie thee our heavenly Father Mat. 5.16 So that if thou shouldest enter into judgment with us O Lord Psal 143.2 how can we be justified by any our own righteousness in thy presence Phil. 3.9 10. O then behold us we humbly beseech thee in the face of thy Son Jesus Christ as washed clean by his Blood and accepted by his Merits Mat 3.17 He it is in whom thou art well pleased Acts 5.31 and him thou hast exalted to be a Prince and a Saviour to give Repentance to Israel and remission of Sins Psal 19.12 Oh give us true Repentance for all the Errours of our Lives past for Christ's sake and grant that being delivered out of the hands of all our Enemies Luke 1.74 75. we may serve thee without fear of them in righteousness and true holiness all the days of our lives Bless with us we pray thee all our Friends Psal 35.11 12 13 14. Mat. 5.11 and change the Hearts of our Enemies make them our Friends if it be thy will be gracious to our Children and Servants make our Children thy Children our Servants thy Servants Isa 41.8 and our Friends thy Friends Lev. 19.17 Let us reprove we pray thee and not give evil example Eph. 5.11 nor suffer our Children or Servants to be prophane Swearers or Cursers Lyars Drunkards or unjust Joh. 13.15 Psal 101.6 7. But grant that we may be good examples and that they may be faithful in the Land such as thy servant David would have make them religious like faithful Abraham's servant praying when they are sent about our occasions Lord send me good speed this day Genesis 24.12 that we and they may be blessed Bless with us thy universal Church scattered thorough out the whole World Be gracious we pray thee to the Nations of England Scotland and Ireland poure down thy blessings upon the Kings most excellent Majesty with his Royal Consort the Queen and all the Royal Family preserve Him and Them from all His 1 Tim. 2.1 2. Their and our Enemies Bless all the honourable Nobility the Reverend faithful Ministers of the Gospel in their several places with all the Magistrates Gentry and Commons of the Land and inable us thy humble servants rightly and justly to do our Duty to all our Superiours 1 Pet. 2.17 Inferiours and Equals and to this end increase we most humble intreat thy Majesty all necessary Graces in all our souls Give us we beseech thee a daily supply and increase of Divine Knowledge and heavenly Wisdome Lord increase our Faith Luk. 17.5 and give us such a Faith as purifieth the Heart Acts 15.9 and worketh by Loves Give us true Conversion from all our sins Gal. 5.6 2 Cor. 7.10 and Repentance to Salvation not to be
come unto thee O heavenly Father most humbly beseeching thee to embrace us in the everlasting Armes of thy Mercy Deut. 33.27 and to take us with all ours and all thine into thy holy Protection this Night Give us that comfortable sleep and quiet rest in our Beds Psalm 4.8 that we being refreshed by thy goodness may be better inabled to do thee faithful service in our several Places Vocations and Callings if it please thee to continue and preserve our Lives and Healths the next day to our comforts and the glory of thy Name O our most blessed God we beseech thee preserve with us thy Catholick Church all over the World especially that part of thy Church in these Nations Keep from all dangers we humble pray thee our most gracious King Ezra 6.10 give him a long life to thy glory Blesse his Royal Queen and the whole Royal Family and preserve we beseech thee all the honourable Nobility the Reverend and faithful Ministery in their several places the righteous Judges and Magistrates with all the Gentry and Commons of the Land Give all Wisdome and Power to honour thy Majesty in their Places and Orders in which thou hast set them to do thee service Bless we pray thee the several Cities Towns and Countries in the Kingdome keep them and us out of the hand of all our Enemies That under his Sacred Majesty we may lead a quiet and peaceable life in all godlinesse and honesty 1 Tim. 2.1 2. Be gracious unto all thy Faithful Servants under any manner of affliction by Sea or by Land at Liberty or in Restraint in Poverty or in Riches in Sickness or in Health especially any that are known to us or who have desired our Prayers Eph. 6 18 19. sanctifie thy afflicting Hand unto them that they may receive the peaceable fruit of Righteousnesse when they are sufficiently exercised thereby Heb. 12.11 and in every temptation strengthen them to bear 1 Cor. 10.13 and in due time make a way for them to escape Prepare us all for those eternal Habitations those blessed Mansions which Christ our Saviour hath prepared for us in Heaven John 14.12 Grant O Lord of glory Eph. 1.17 that we may be so prepared like wise Virgins Mat. 25.1 2 c. with Oyl in our Lamps that whensoever the Lord Jesus our heavenly Bride-Groom with his glorious Angels shall come to Judgment at Midnight Mat. 25.6 at Cock-Crowing or in the Dawning we may be admitted to enter in with him in to that blessed heavenly Kingdome of eternal happiness Thus by Prayer and Supplication with Thanksgiving we have made our Request known unto thee our heavenly and most gratious Father O let the peace of God Phil. 4.6 7. which passeth all understanding keep our Hearts and Minds in the knowledge and love of God through our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ To whom with thy heavenly Majesty and thy blessed Spirit be ascribed all Glory and Honour Might Soveraignty and Dominion Victory and Salvation this night and for evermore Amen Prov. 19.14 House and Riches are the Inheritance of Fathers but a prudent wife is from the Lord. Therefore I desire the Husband that he will pray to the Lord to bestow amongst other Graces this Grace of heavenly prudence upon his wife and increase it in them both that they may be happy Again I desire that both Husband and Wife will be careful to remember and practice by the Grace of Christ that Counsel of that great Apostle St. Peter 1 Pet. 3.7 Husbands dwell with your Wives according to knowledge giving honour to the Wife as unto the weaker Vessel and as being Heirs together of the grace of Life that your prayers be not hindred Your mutual prayers one for another for a virtuous wife will be a Helper to her Husband Gen. 2.18 and will do him good by her prayers as well as otherwise and not evil all the days of her life as wise King Solomon witnesseth Pro. 31.12 A special Closet or secret Prayer of a Husband for himself and his Wife and Children and Family that God will be pleased to inable them to perform their mutual Duties to each other in the fear of God and by God's blessing live lovingly together during their lives to be prayed together or asunder O Most blessed and gracious good God 1 Tim. 1.11 my most merciful and loving Father in Christ Jesus 1 Tim. 6.14 15 16. Gen. 1.1 2. who in thy appointed time didst make the Heaven and Earth Psal 136.5 6. and Creatures in the World and in a special manner create our first Parents Adam and Eve after thy own likeness in Righteousness and true Holiness Gen. 1.27 and in the time of their innocency didst Marry them together Gen. 2.20 21 22 23 24. and institute the holy estate of Marriage which is a mystical representation of that spiritual Marriage and Union between Christ and his Church Hosea 2.19 20. Eph. 5.32 thou O our heavenly Father in thy Divine Wisdom and gracious Providence hast been pleased to bring me thy unworthy servant and my beloved wife into this high and honourable estate I confess O Lord I am now fully enformed that there are many duties required by thy holy Word incumbent upon me at a Husband John 15. â— and upon her as a Wife which by our own strength we are not able to performe as we ought 2 Cor. 3.5 that thy Divine Majesty might have the glory and we thy unworthy servants may have the joy and comfort in our married estate and although we are taught out of thy Word that in Christ our blessed Saviour there is both Wisdom and strength and grace Col. 2.3 Phil. 4.13 to be communicated to thy servants for the performance of every duty in any condition and that Christ our Redeemer hath promised That if we seek we shall find if we knock it shall be opened unto us James 1.5 6. James 5.16 John 16.23 If we pray with Faith and Fervency and in his Name our Petitions shall be granted Yet I thy humble servant confess for my part that I have not knocked at Heaven doors for wisdom and strength for myself and my wife that we might be inabled rightly and in the fear of God and in true love to perform our mutual duties to each other as becometh thy Children And I fear my dear wife hath failed in like manner Isaiah 63.15 16. Isaiah 64.5 6 7 8 9 10. at least that we have not sought this grace of thee O heavenly Father with that sight and sence of our own weakness And of that need of this wisdome and power and so not with that earnestness or with those fervent groans and sighs Rom. 8.26 27. or tears in our prayers nor with that wrastling like Jacob with God in Christ for this mercy as we should have done Gen. 32.24 25 26. Hosea 12.3
4. 1 Sam. 1.15 nor poured out our soul to God like Hannah and therefore if any discomfort or disagreement have fallen out between us we may well thank our selves that we have not had wisdome and power to do better 1 Chron. 15.13 because we have not sought them at God's hand James 4.2 3. or not in a right manner for although thou God doest freely promise Blessings to his Church yet he will be enquired of Ezek. 36.37 and pray'd unto by his Children for his Graces or any the like mercies O therefore most gracious Father I most humbly intreat thee give 〈◊〉 me and my wife truly humble and penitent and contrite hearts Mic. 6.6 Isaiah 57.15 16. for this and all our former failings and give us wisdome and strength of grace for the time to come rightly to perform our duties to thee our God and mutually one to another whilst we live that so our Marriage may be a joyful and Christian-like merry-age indeed Prov. 5.18 19 20 21. to thy glory and our comfort to the end of our lives O then give us grace I most humbly beseech thee to fly all occasions of discord or disagreement that there may never be any such breach between us thy Servants as there hath been between too many Husbands and Wives in the World Let it be far from us upon any discontent unkindly to separate one from another 1 Cor. 7.5 except it be with consent for a time that we may give our selves to fasting and prayer and come together again willingly and joyfully as we ought to do And if either of us have failed in our Choice in not following the Apostles Rule to have been careful to marry in the Lord or any other Scripture Directions to have been considered better before hand 1 Cor. 7.39 for our comfortable Communion in Marriage I most humbly beg pardon for that which is past for the Merits sake of my dear Redeemer And now O blessed Lord give us thy heavenly Grace that we may follow the Directions of thy most holy word set before us Psal 119.105 and truly and religiously seek by all good means the eternal Salvation of both our Souls that we may be happy here and hereafter O give us wisdome to cherish love and increase it in one towards and with the other And let there be no bitterness between us in word or deed give us contentedness of mind with our present Condition 1 Tim. 6.6 7 8. Keep us truly faithful to each other according to our Marriage-Covenant in obedience to thy Command and fear of thy heavenly Majesty who art present in all places and before whose all-seeing-eyes all things are open and naked that we have done or shall do all the dayes of our lives Jer. 23.23 Give us I most humbly intreat thee Heb. 4.13 Prov. 6.34 35. Cant. 8.6 wisdome and power to avoid all occasions of jealousie that our hearts may truly trust one another in the Lord Numb 5.14 that peace and happiness may be our portion all our dayes help us by thy spirits grace to pray one for another and to seek thy blessing upon our selves and for our Children which thou hast or shalt in thy goodness graciously give thy Servants Gen. 33.5 inable us to bring them up in the fear and nurture and admonition of thee O Lord that they may fear and honour thee as their heavenly Father Prov. 1.7 Prov. 10.27 and obey us as is fit in thee our Lord as their earthly Parents that a blessing may be upon us and upon them and their Posterity to many Generations If it be thy blessed will bless I pray thee our Servants and our substance which thou hast or shalt bestow upon us It is thy blessing Prov. 10.22 O Lord which maketh rich and addeth no sorrow with it Be gracious I most humbly beseech thee to thy Church thorough the World Blesse these Nations and in them our most gracious King and his Royal Queen with his Royal Family and his Kingdoms with all Estates and Orders of Men in Church and in Common wealth Grant O Lord that Truth and Peace Zach. 8.19 Righteousness and Love with the Gospel of Peace may be a blessing to these Nations to Us and Ours to the end of the World if it be thy blessed will and pleasure Hear thy unworthy Servant most merciful God and grant that what I have asked according to thy Will and whatsoever else thou knowest necessary for this life or that happy life to come I most humbly beg them further in that Prayer which Christ Jesus hath taught us Our Father which art in Heaven c. A special Closet or secret Prayer for a Wife to seek the Lord for her Self and her Husband and Family that they may have grace and strength from God through Christ to perform their mutual Duties to each other live happily together and enjoy Gods blessing upon them and theirs for ever O Most loving God Isa 63.16 and my most tender Father in Jesus Christ Thou art Love and thy holy Spirit hath witnessed that he who dwelleth in Love 1 Joh. 4.16 dwelleth in thee O God and thou in him thou who didst require by thy blessed Son Jesus Mat. 5.44 That we should love our Enemies Eph. 5.25 and much more our Friends Husbands their Wives Titus 2. and Wives their Husbands and those that are near related unto them Behold 1 Sam. 1.11 I thy unworthy Hand-Maid a woman feeble in devotion 1 Pet. 3.7 the weaker Vessel who standeth in great need of thy strength and the help of thy spirit of grace Rom. 8.26 to inable me to seek thy face Psal 27.8 which I should be fearful to do but that thou hast not said to the Seed of Jacob Isa 45.19 Seek my Face in vain yea thou hast promised they that seek thee early shall find thee O let me find thee gracious Lord this day Prov. 8.17 and find help from thee in time of need Heb. 4.16 Thou in thy most wise Providence hast brought me into the Covenant-Bonds of holy Marriage with my dearly beloved Husband Mal. 2.14 15. we have taken one another for better or for worse for richer or for poorer to love and to cherish one another in sicknesse and in health and to keep us faithful to each other until death separate us I find by direction from thy word that there are many duties both proper to each and common both to Husband and Wife which by experience we may find without strength of grace from thee in thy Christ our Saviour we are not able to fulfil our very Natures are corrupt Psal 53.1 2 3. and we are subject sometimes to fretting passions provocations and vain desires 1 Sam. 1.6 Isa 32.4 yea subject to rashness and rash anger peevish discontent Act. 19.36 Pro. 21.19 Pro. 25.24 contention and frowardness
contentment and continuance of Love between Husband and Wife is this That there ought to be free Communication of mutual kindness and conjugal engagements one to and with another that mutual Benevolence and Bond of Marriage-Love at times convenient according to the Law of God and Nature read the blessed Apostles Direction 1 Cor. 7.2 3 4 5 c. and that Law of God Leviticus 18.19 and Leviticus 20.18 and Ezekiel 18.6 These Rules observed This Marriage-kindness at fit times is one means to cherish and preserve mutual conjugal Love between Husbands and Wives when as the denial of this loving kindnesse is a dangerous occasion of Breach and Disquietnesse yea sometimes it may prove of separation and an occasion of Damnable sin if God restrain not by his special Grace yet a Bridle must be to restrain Intemperance in all Delights least excess destroy both Souls and Bodies That is a general Rule Phil. 4.5 Let your moderation be known to all men the Lord is at hand He is present to see all our Actions and to bless or punish according to our Obedience or Disobedience to his Commandements Thus you have a seventh Gold-link of Love The eighth followeth The eighth Direction or Gold-link of Love And this is That Husbands and Wives be careful of and ready to shew their love to each others Souls as well as to their Bodies or Estates That Husbands love their Wives as Christ loved his Spouse the Church and gave himself for it that he might sanctifie and cleanse it with the washing of water by the Word that he might present it to himself a glorious Church not having spot or wrinkle Eph. 5.25 26 27. or any such thing but that it should be holy and without blemish Husbands ought to take care for the beauty of their Wives Souls as well as of their Bodies that they may be lovely to Christ their heavenly Husbands as well as to them Cant. 4.7 as the Spouse of Christ is to him The Husband which taketh no care for his Wives soul how can he expect that God should bless him with a good Wife The Husband should pray daily for his Wife as St. 1 Thess 5.23 Paul did for his Christian Thessalonians That her whole Spirit Soul and Body be preserved blameless to the coming of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. The Soul is better then a whole World Mat. 16.26 What is a man profited if he gain the whole World and lose his Soul or what shall a man give in exchange for his Soul What saith that great and blessed Apostle He that provideth not for his own especially for them of his own houshold he hath denyed the Faith and is worse then an Infidel 1 Tim. 5.8 And if it be a Duty to provide for the Body of his Family or Houshold then much more for their most pretious and immortal Souls if it possible be in his power and most of all for his Wives Soul which is his second Self and is or ought to be most dear unto his Soul That her Soul may prosper as St. John did testifie of the Soul of his Beloved Gaius 3 John 1.2 That it may appear he loveth his Wife in Truth and so God may bless her unto him for the good of his Soul Body and Estate And so likewise Wives ought to be studious and careful for the good of their Husbands Souls as well as of the health of their Bodies and Estates This is a means by Gods blessing for the preservation of conjugal Love and gratious affections for true joy of Husband and Wife by the Grace and Power of Christ John 15.15 Phil. 4.13 For Husbands and Wives ought to be helpers and means in their places of each others Salvation this St. Paul intimateth 1 Cor. 7.16 requiring cohabitation and dwelling together and he expresseth a Reason What knowest thou O Wife whether thou shalt save thy Husband and how knowest thou O Man whether thou shalt save thy Wife That is be an outward means of Salvation by good Counsel or otherwise by Gods Blessing taking care of the means of Salvation for each other to their powers As the Wives may be a means to win their Husbands by their good Conversations 1 Pet. 3.1 2 3 4. As St. 1 Pet. 3.7 Peter directs So the Husbands may win their Wives if they follow St. Peters Counsel Live with their Wives as men of knowledge giving honour to the Wife as the weaker Vessel that their Prayers be not hindred And this is the greatest love which is shewed to the Souls of each other and a work of high esteem and unspeakable benefit James 5.20 Let him know saith St. James That he which converts a Sinner from the errour of his way shall save a Soul from Death and shall hide a multitude of Sins And thus may a Husband or Wife be helper and means for their eternal mutual happiness if by loving and wise carriage and deportment each to other they can win and gain one or other or both from any evil he or she is subject unto praying to God daily for a Blessing upon their good Endeavours This is a most pretious Gold-link of Love to preserve love and affection and happy peace and prosperity with Husbands and Wives during their lives Now I proceed to a ninth Gold-link A ninth Direction or Gold-link of Love in this Golden Chain of Love This is that Husband be an example to the Wife of Piety and Chastity Religious Love with care of Cherishing his Wife as the weaker Vessel especially in times of Sickness Weakness or other Infirmities as Christ was kind to his Disciples when they were troubled at the news of his Departure from them John 14.1 2 3. Let not your Hearts be troubled ye believe in God believe also in Me in my Fathers House are many Mansions if it were not so I would have told you I go to prepare a place for you And as Christ hath been to his Church and Children in all Ages especially in any sad Dispensation To speak comfortably as the Lord answered the Angel that spake for Jerusalem Zachar. 1.13 The Lord answered the Angel that talked with me with good words and comfortable words Or as Elkanah did to Hannah when peevish and spiteful Peninnah vexed her because she was barren And Elkanah said Hannah why weepest thou I and why eatest thou not I am not I better to thee then ten Sons I Sam. 1.8 And the wife ought to be careful not to provoke her husband by any unkind behaviour towards him but to be ready to shew her love to her husband in sickness and health and both to look to the example of Christ our heavenly husband The husband to love his wife as his own Body for he that loveth his wife loveth himself For no man yet ever hated his own flesh but nourisheth and cherisheth it as the Lord doth the Church Ephes 5.28 29. Each followeth Christ his
Mighty God is Thou shalt not Commit Adultery Ex. 20.14 The Lord himself will be witness against such Mal. 2.14 The Lord saith the Prophet hath been a witnesse between thee and the wife of thy youth against whom thou hast dealt treacherously yet she is thy Companion and the wife of thy Youth yea of thy Govenant to keep thee only to her And did not he make one saith the Prophet and yet had be residue of spirit and wherefore one one man and one woman that he might seek a godly feed Therefore take heed to your spirit saith he and let none deal treacherously with the wife of his youth Mal. 2.15 And the same is the sin of the wife and her wickednesse if she break the Marriage-Covenant as you may read Prov. 2.16 17 18. To deliver thee from the strange woman which flattereth with her words which forsaketh the guide of her Youth and forgetieth the Covenant of her God for her House inclineth to Death and her Pathes unto the Dead none that go unto her return again neither take they hold of the Pathes of Life And Prov. 7.27 Of the Adulterous woman the wise wise man concludeth That her House is the way to Hell going down to the Chambers of Death A Whore is a deep Ditch and a strange Woman a narrow Pit Proverbs 23.27 Therefore to be avoyded as snares and Pits prepared for thy Destruction Both the Adulterer and Adultoress they sin grievously and their punishment will be terrible except God in time give them true Repentance for by the Law of God they were both to be stoned to death Levit. 20.10 and Deut. 22.22 That sentence of the Apostle is terrible Hebr. 13.14 Marriage is Honourable amongst all and the Bed undefiled But Whore-Mongers and Adulterers God will judge In this life this sin of Adultery and Fornication oftentimes is an occasion of Murder As Shechem's Fornication with Dinah Jacob's Daughter occasioned the Murder of the Shechentites Gen. 34.21 c. And Ammon's Ravishing of Tamar 2 Sam. 13.27 28 c. Besides it excludes such out of the Kingdom of Heaven 1 Cor. 6.9 10. And on Earth it is a cause of Divorce as our Saviour declares Mat. 5.32 And thus you see how necessary mutual fidelity is to preserve Conjugall Love between Husband and Wife while they live The twelfth Direction A twelfth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love is That either of them or both of them have a special Care of their mutual Duties to give right and due respect to each other First the Wife to honour and reverence her Husband as her Head and to obey him in all things lawful and expedient in the Lord as Sarah that great Lady did honour and obey Abraham her Husband calling him Lord 1 Peter 3.6 I say Obey him in all things lawful and expedient in the Lord For as this is the rule of Childrens Obedience to their Parents given by the Spirit of God Ephes 6.1 So it is the rule of all Inferiours to obey their Superiours in all things lawful in the Lord yea expediently also it is to be respected A Husband may not prostitute his Wives Chastity or Honour as he may not prostitute his Daughter to be a Whore as you may read Leviticus 19.29 Nor Husband nor Father can lawfully Command a Wife or Daughter to consent to such a sin nor is either Wife or Daughter bound to obey in such sinful Commands no Superiour hath power to command an Inferiour to sin against Gods Command The Answer to such unlawful Commands of Men or Women is set down by the Holy Ghost Acts 5.20 It is better to obey God then Man These unlawful Commands will stop the current of Love between Husband and Wife For as the Wife is to honour the Husband as her Head so the Husband is no way to dishonour or seek to dishonour his Wife but to honour her as the weaker Vessel as a Coheir with him of the Grace of Life as the Apostle directs 1 Peter 3.7 This living together as heirs of the Grace of Life must be of the Husband to his Wife as to a Companion and Fellow in the Bonds of Marriage as may be intimated Mal. 2.14 15 16. For when God made the Woman as he did not take her out of the Head of Adam to be above him so he did not take her out of Adams Feet to be trampled upon but out of his Side near to his Heart Gen. 2.21 22. to be honoured and loved as his Fellow Helper and beloved Companion And this kind respect on both sides is an excellent means and help to preserve Love between Husband and Wife to the end The thirteenth Direction The thirteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love is That both husband and wife be mutually carefull in their places for the preservation or increase of their Estate and Provision and Government of their Houshold or Family and provide both for the present and for the future This care of the Husband and his Duty we may learn from that great Apostle 1 Tim. 5.8 If any man provide not for his own especially for those of his own Houshold he hath denied the Faith and is worse then an Infidel That was good Counsel of Solomon Prov. 27.23 24. Be thou diligent to know the state of thy Flocks and look well to thy Herds For Riches are not for ever and doth the Crown endure to every Generation Providence is requisite to preserve an Estate I remember it is above threescore years since when I was in Oxford I did see a little Book of good Counsel writ by a noble Lord to his Son in which he advised his Son to divide his Estate into three parts First one part he might spend in ordinary Expences House-keeping Apparrel and such like A second part lay aside for extraordinary occasions for himself and the Church and Common-wealth And a third part to lay up for increase of his Estate If a man spend beyond his Estate or live at the highest rate of his Incomings he will be constrained to live of borrowing and so of borrowing in the end if in time he labour not to prevent And for the wife also Solomon giveth an excellent Description of a virtuous woman as Prov. 31.10 11 12. to the end of that Chapter read it at your leisure Verses 27.28 He saith a virtuous woman She looketh well to the wayes of her Houshold and eateth not the Bread of idlenesse her Children rise up and call her blessed he Husband also and he praiseth her c. He concludeth Give her of the fruit of her Hands and let her own workes praise her in the Gates The good wife will consider her husbands estate and not presse him to spend above power She will do her husband good and not hurt all the dayes of her life Prov. 31.12 Thus whon there is a mutual providential care of husband and wife for themselves Family and Posterity This is
the wife This is a means to enjoy peace It was the moral mans Observation Heratius Latius regres avidum domande spiritum c. That a man should conquer more by ruling his spirit then by conquering the greatest Person in the World And the Holy Spirit of God directs that we should forbear one another in love Co. 3.13 and the same Apostle exhorts to be long-suffering this is our duty as Christian in general and the same is incumbent upon man and wife in particular to yield sometimes to each other in love That was an excellent example of Self-denyal Example which faithful Abraham gave when his wife Sarah was angry with her Maid Hagar whom she her self had given to her Husband to get Children because she her self was barren as you may read Gen. 16.1 2. Abraham left her Maid at her Mistresse dispose and she by her hard usage made her fly away And this must needs be against Abraham's heart that Hagar should be so hardly used and constrained to fly away whom he had gotten with Child by his Wives consent and no doubt had affection for her yet Abraham condescends to his wife for Abraham said unto Sarah Thy Maid is in thy hand do to her as it pleaseth thee Again when Sarah had brought forth Isaac and Sarah did see Ismael the Son of Hagar mocking of her Son Isaac She calleth to Abraham her Husband Put away the Bond-woman and her Son for the Son of the Bond-woman shall not be heir with my Son even with Isaac Gen. 21.10 11. This thing was very grievous in Abraham's sight because of his Son Ismael yet as God directs him he yieldeth to his wife and putteth away Hagar and Ismael out of doors and then all was at peace Thus sometimes a sweet Condescenâ—sin in things lawful is a sweet well-pleasing means to preserve Love between Husband and Wife And as the Husband so the Wife is to labour by the Power and Grace of Christ to be of a self-denying submitting meek and quiet spirit which in the eyes of the Lord is a thing much set by witnesse Saint Peter 1 Pet. 3.4 For a Wife to deny her self Example and her own will for the love of her Husband is a means to preserve Love and prevent the danger of separation Had Queen Vasti denyed her self to please her Husbands fancy of shewing her Beauty to his Guests as he desired Hester 1.11 12. she might have prevented his anger and continued Queen to her death in all likelihood Thus you see the passing by of occasions of anger and a loving condescending to each others lawful desires is an excellent Gold-link of Love and means to preserve Love between Husband and Wife during Lives The seventeenth Direction The seventeenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love now followeth This is to exercise spiritual wisdome how and when to speak one to another of any thing that is not well done or said by either party or that they perceive is contrary to either of their minds or affections or not for their profit safety or honour A word fitly spoken in due season how good is it saith King Solomon Prov. 15.23 And Prov. 25.11 A word fitly spoken is like Apples of Gold in pictures of Silver And the kingly Preacher telleth us there is a time for all things Eccles 3.1 For that which is spoken may be well taken at one time which will not be so well resented at another time For Example Example when Churlish covetous Nabal had used Davids young men unkindly and brought himself and Family in great danger we see Abigail meeting David with a Present and pacifieth David and prevents his shedding of Blood as you may read 1 Sam. 25.26 and returning home she findeth her Husband keeping a Feast like a King and merry with Wine for he was very Drunken verse 36. wherefore she told him nothing less or more untill the morning But it came to pass in the morning when the Wine was gone out of Nabal then she told him these things and then he was sensible of his folly to the full 1 Sam. 25.37 1 Sam. 25.37 Thus when a Husband or Wife is in any Distemper drunken with Wine or strong drink or with any passion or discontent it is wisdome to forbear speaking and to observe a sit time and in a loving manner to declare mildly and peaceably what was a failing on either part and that with meeknesse of spirit For a soft Answer turneth away wrath but grievous words stir up Anger as we noted before Prov. 15.10 The Apostle St. James his direction is good James 1.19 20. Be swift to hear slow to speak slow to wrath for the wrath of Man worketh not the righteousness of God Thus spiritual policy yea even civil wisdome is one special help to quench the fire of jars and unnecessary fallings out and to preserve Conjugal Love between Husband and Wife during their lives An eighteenth Direction The eighteenth Direction or Gold-link of Love or Gold-link of Love in this Golden Chain of Love is to be of a well-pleasing quiet spirit toward each other not seeking quarrels but rather seeking to please one another in Love in the Lord this duty St. Paul intimateth 1 Cor. 7.33 34. The married man careth for the things of this World how he may please his wife and the married woman how she may please her Husband The Apostle holdeth this out I humbly conceive not only as a practice but as a Christian duty also to be careful both Husband and Wife to please one another in all things lawful and convenient in the Lord for Rom. 15.1 2 3. He giveth this Rule for Christians in general That the strong ought to bear the Infirmities of the weak and not to please our selves But let every one please his Neighbour to Edification Now if this be the duty of all Christians to please one another for their good Then much more of Husbands and Wives to be well-pleasing to each other not to be contentious or quarrelsome or cross for Trifles or small Matters but to be wise and seek to please and give content to each other according to their Duties and Places This is heavenly wisdome saith St. James which is from above and is first pure then peaceable gentle and easie to be intreated full of mercy and good fruits without partiality and without hypocrisie James 3.17 18. And this wisdome ought to be between Husband and Wife to be peaceable not troublesome to each other For as the wise man speaketh He that troubleth his own House shall inherit the Wind and the Fool shall be servant to the wise in heart Prov. 11.29 And Prov. 19.13 11. A foolish Son is the calamity of his Father and the contentions of a Wife are a continual dropping it will rot a house in time And again Houses and Riches are the Inheritance of Fathers But a prudent Wife is from the Lord Prov. 19.14