in_o grace_n which_o the_o lord_n grant_v unto_o all_o his_o for_o his_o mercy_n sake_n amen_n john_n turner_n to_o the_o christian_a reader_n i_o can_v but_o take_v it_o as_o a_o mercy_n from_o the_o lord_n that_o i_o have_v such_o a_o opportunity_n to_o give_v my_o testimony_n unto_o so_o worthy_a a_o work_n as_o this_o be_v which_o indeed_o be_v a_o work_n that_o be_v not_o common_a among_o man_n be_v the_o work_n of_o a_o daughter_n of_o zion_n nay_o i_o may_v say_v a_o mother_n in_o israel_n as_o it_o be_v say_v many_o daughter_n have_v do_v virtuous_o but_o she_o excel_v they_o all_o therefore_o let_v her_o own_o work_n praise_v she_o in_o the_o gate_n of_o zion_n who_o have_v open_v to_o the_o view_n of_o all_o not_o only_o the_o counsel_n of_o man_n heart_n which_o be_v as_o the_o deep_a water_n with_o the_o deceit_n thereof_o in_o which_o it_o may_v miscarry_v through_o the_o wisdom_n of_o the_o flesh_n and_o the_o wile_n of_o satan_n but_o also_o the_o wonderful_a wisdom_n of_o god_n in_o the_o powerful_a operation_n of_o his_o spirit_n in_o the_o clear_a footstep_n of_o his_o grace_n by_o a_o large_a and_o well_o ground_a experience_n in_o the_o lord_n bring_v of_o a_o poor_a soul_n out_o of_o darkness_n into_o light_n but_o in_o more_o particular_a thus_o how_o far_o a_o soul_n may_v be_v wrought_v upon_o before_o it_o come_v to_o christ_n with_o the_o let_v and_o hindrance_n that_o keep_v it_o off_o from_o the_o truth_n second_o of_o the_o true_a work_n of_o grace_n in_o the_o heart_n and_o how_o this_o differ_v from_o the_o former_a three_o the_o soul_n close_v with_o christ_n and_o the_o sweet_a enjoyment_n of_o the_o same_o and_o last_o the_o full_a establishment_n in_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n and_o the_o manner_n how_o god_n effect_v this_o with_o the_o several_a effect_n of_o all_o the_o aforesaid_a degree_n of_o grace_n with_o so_o much_o variety_n of_o spiritual_a soul-edifying_a matter_n and_o all_o so_o full_a of_o life_n and_o delight_n to_o a_o gracious_a experience_a heart_n that_o as_o to_o my_o remembrance_n i_o have_v not_o hear_v of_o the_o like_a together_o with_o a_o large_a discovery_n of_o the_o most_o devilish_a and_o strong_a delusion_n of_o our_o time_n and_o the_o depth_n and_o danger_n of_o they_o with_o the_o great_a soul-loss_n of_o such_o as_o be_v take_v with_o they_o and_o also_o the_o nature_n and_o tendency_n of_o they_o and_o god_n rich_a mercy_n in_o his_o recover_n of_o his_o own_o out_o of_o they_o and_o how_o by_o his_o wisdom_n he_o make_v the_o same_o work_n for_o their_o good_a so_o that_o good_a reader_n if_o thou_o will_v see_v the_o very_a inside_n of_o a_o gracious_a soul_n with_o the_o large_a experience_n of_o the_o riches_n of_o god_n great_a dispensation_n of_o grace_n here_o it_o be_v clear_o present_v in_o this_o small_a ensue_a treatise_n be_v so_o seasonable_a for_o the_o time_n we_o live_v in_o and_o so_o useful_a for_o all_o sort_n of_o person_n wherein_o error_n and_o heretic_n be_v discover_v the_o godly_a most_o sweet_o edify_v and_o the_o way_n of_o truth_n lay_v open_a for_o such_o as_o desire_v it_o and_o many_o precious_a principle_n of_o truth_n sound_o assert_v all_o which_o with_o much_o more_o consider_v do_v not_o only_o affect_v my_o soul_n but_o cause_v i_o with_o other_o to_o press_v on_o the_o author_n hereof_o to_o publish_v the_o same_o for_o the_o good_a of_o saint_n and_o a_o glorious_a example_n for_o all_o christian_n to_o follow_v in_o a_o serious_a observe_v the_o passage_n of_o god_n providence_n and_o grace_n that_o they_o may_v be_v rich_a in_o experience_n of_o his_o free_a mercy_n and_o goodness_n towards_o they_o as_o that_o by_o which_o god_n hold_v our_o soul_n in_o life_n and_o form_n his_o image_n in_o we_o with_o deep_a engagement_n of_o love_n and_o zeal_n for_o his_o glory_n into_o who_o bosom_n i_o commit_v the_o godly_a reader_n and_o this_o good_a work_n unto_o his_o blessing_n upon_o thy_o heart_n and_o remain_v the_o unworthy_a of_o all_o saint_n john_n spilsbery_n to_o the_o reader_n reader_n this_o small_a volume_n be_v the_o fruit_n of_o private_a meditation_n relate_v to_o the_o inward_a man_n which_o many_o neglect_v have_v be_v like_o paint_a sepulcher_n it_o be_v a_o know_a maxim_n that_o the_o serious_a mind_a christian_a be_v the_o most_o thrive_a especial_o when_o the_o judgement_n order_v the_o affection_n many_o person_n be_v so_o drown_v in_o confuse_a and_o immethodical_a thought_n that_o all_o their_o intention_n be_v like_o a_o untimely_a birth_n or_o the_o grass_n on_o the_o house_n top_n this_o author_n have_v obtain_v favour_n of_o the_o lord_n not_o only_o to_o be_v esteem_v a_o daughter_n of_o zion_n but_o also_o one_o that_o excel_v in_o grace_n and_o to_o be_v count_v a_o mother_n in_o the_o true_a israel_n of_o which_o we_o have_v not_o many_o i_o speak_v not_o this_o by_o hearsay_n only_o though_o her_o work_n praise_v she_o in_o the_o gate_n but_o have_v have_v for_o some_o year_n more_o than_o ordinary_a experience_n of_o her_o clear_a conception_n and_o sound_a judgement_n be_v more_o natural_o give_v to_o the_o exercise_n of_o godliness_n with_o sobriety_n than_o other_o have_v stir_v i_o up_o to_o testify_v some_o of_o her_o spiritual_a worth_n which_o have_v be_v very_o advantageous_a to_o many_o but_o especial_o to_o i_o it_o be_v the_o great_a sorrow_n of_o the_o jewish_a woman_n to_o be_v barren_a be_v thereby_o deprive_v of_o bring_v forth_o christ_n in_o his_o humane_a nature_n and_o it_o be_v great_a sorrow_n to_o ingenious_a christian_n to_o be_v barren_a in_o spiritual_n this_o precious_a soul_n have_v conceive_v and_o bring_v forth_o spiritual_a fruit_n to_o the_o view_n of_o good_a and_o bad_a the_o matter_n contain_v a_o gradual_a narration_n of_o the_o lord_n various_a deal_n with_o her_o many_o year_n both_o in_o and_o after_o conversion_n which_o speak_v forth_o much_o observance_n of_o god_n daily_a footstep_n in_o the_o soul_n the_o like_a have_v not_o common_o be_v see_v few_o have_v given-themselves_a to_o be_v intent_n in_o discover_v the_o beauty_n of_o christ_n in_o the_o inward_a man_n if_o this_o may_v be_v instrumental_a to_o bring_v forth_o the_o additional_a experience_n of_o other_o saint_n it_o will_v be_v a_o good_a precedent_n especial_o in_o this_o age_n in_o which_o saint_n time_n have_v be_v occasional_o take_v up_o more_o in_o build_v the_o wall_n of_o the_o true_a zion_n than_o in_o discover_v the_o treasure_n of_o grace_n and_o inward_a glory_n of_o christ_n in_o the_o soul_n these_o inward_a experience_n be_v not_o intend_v to_o limit_v other_o but_o to_o provoke_v self-examination_n and_o spiritual_a quicken_n they_o be_v orderly_o lay_v down_o though_o with_o brevity_n a_o word_n to_o the_o wise_a be_v enough_o here_o be_v the_o danger_n of_o sin_n discover_v the_o excellent_a safety_n of_o a_o soul_n in_o christ_n declare_v the_o duty_n of_o privilege_a christian_n manifest_v and_o some_o caution_n lay_v down_o to_o take_v heed_n of_o a_o light_n and_o unsound_a generation_n of_o man_n who_o deceit_n have_v be_v large_o experience_v be_v watchful_a lest_o you_o fall_v where_o other_o have_v stumble_v and_o be_v through_o grace_n recover_v and_o much_o establish_v read_v with_o diligence_n consider_v with_o patience_n thy_o encouragement_n be_v many_o that_o which_o be_v tender_v be_v the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n of_o grace_n do_v invite_v and_o animate_v thou_o to_o conclude_v thy_o labour_n shall_v not_o be_v in_o vain_a in_o the_o lord_n to_o who_o i_o commend_v thou_o in_o this_o and_o all_o thy_o spiritual_a labour_n and_o remain_v date_v at_o london_n the_o 7_o day_n of_o the_o 7_o month_n 1653._o thy_o affectionate_a and_o welwishing_a friend_n john_n gardner_n a_o word_n from_o the_o author_n to_o the_o reader_n these_o note_n in_o the_o follow_a discourse_n be_v some_o of_o the_o fruit_n of_o my_o labour_n write_v at_o several_a time_n in_o my_o husband_n absence_n which_o may_v be_v some_o satisfaction_n as_o to_o my_o spend_v that_o time_n i_o do_v intend_v they_o only_o for_o my_o own_o private_a use_n as_o a_o remembrancer_n of_o the_o old_a love_a kindness_n of_o the_o lord_n towards_o i_o &_o it_o be_v not_o in_o the_o least_o in_o my_o thought_n that_o ever_o it_o shall_v have_v be_v present_v to_o a_o public_a view_n but_o after_o i_o have_v write_v the_o great_a part_n of_o it_o show_v it_o to_o my_o husband_n he_o have_v some_o thought_n to_o publish_v it_o judge_v it_o may_v be_v profitable_a to_o some_o precious_a soul_n which_o though_o it_o be_v write_v but_o in_o a_o break_a scatter_v way_n and_o i_o be_o conscious_a to_o myself_o of_o too_o much_o weakness_n and_o unworthiness_n to_o be_v
for_o my_o own_o particular_a i_o must_v needs_o say_v though_o i_o be_o still_o but_o weak_a yet_o through_o mercy_n my_o gain_n by_o those_o thing_n be_v so_o great_a that_o i_o will_v not_o be_v without_o it_o though_o i_o desire_v not_o to_o purchase_v any_o more_o at_o that_o rate_n three_o in_o relation_n to_o other_o that_o through_o their_o experience_n they_o may_v be_v the_o more_o able_a to_o forewarn_v other_o who_o may_v meet_v with_o the_o like_a temptation_n for_o certain_o have_v the_o saint_n in_o those_o day_n have_v that_o experience_n of_o satan_n working_n in_o that_o nature_n which_o now_o they_o have_v and_o have_v the_o mouth_n of_o truth_n be_v so_o open_a against_o it_o as_o it_o be_v at_o this_o day_n it_o will_v doubtless_o have_v prevent_v much_o and_o therefore_o by_o the_o way_n i_o must_v needs_o say_v i_o be_o persuade_v it_o will_v be_v a_o great_a aggravation_n of_o sin_n for_o any_o to_o be_v take_v or_o hold_v by_o those_o thing_n when_o there_o be_v so_o much_o mean_n to_o avoid_v they_o as_o through_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n there_o be_v in_o these_o day_n almost_o in_o every_o place_n now_o the_o lord_n have_v these_o and_o other_o such_o like_a end_n in_o permit_v those_o thing_n i_o desire_v that_o myself_o with_o other_o who_o have_v experience_v they_o in_o any_o measure_n may_v be_v careful_a to_o answer_v those_o end_n for_o doubtless_o if_o our_o deliverance_n be_v of_o god_n and_o that_o we_o be_v clear_o bring_v off_o from_o those_o confusion_n we_o shall_v answer_v all_o those_o end_n of_o god_n in_o some_o measure_n in_o the_o next_o place_n as_o to_o the_o way_n and_o mean_n by_o which_o the_o lord_n have_v be_v please_v to_o recover_v his_o people_n from_o these_o thing_n i_o shall_v say_v little_a because_o i_o believe_v it_o have_v be_v various_a some_o by_o one_o mean_n some_o by_o another_o as_o they_o be_v in_o various_a condition_n for_o my_o own_o particular_a i_o have_v declare_v at_o large_a how_o it_o be_v with_o i_o only_o these_o general_n head_n i_o shall_v again_o remind_v first_o i_o be_v bring_v into_o great_a strait_n and_o much_o confusion_n in_o judgement_n second_o the_o lord_n be_v please_v to_o withdraw_v his_o presence_n from_o i_o three_o be_v sensible_a of_o that_o confusion_n and_o want_v of_o communion_n with_o god_n i_o be_v put_v upon_o enquiry_n into_o my_o own_o heart_n what_o may_v be_v the_o reason_n of_o it_o four_o it_o please_v the_o lord_n to_o make_v i_o willing_a to_o be_v inform_v and_o to_o examine_v thing_n by_o the_o scripture_n five_o he_o be_v please_v to_o draw_v forth_o my_o heart_n with_o much_o earnestness_n to_o seek_v to_o he_o by_o prayer_n which_o through_o great_a mercy_n be_v large_o answer_v and_o thus_o i_o doubt_v not_o but_o by_o what_o i_o have_v write_v it_o will_v appear_v that_o i_o have_v not_o without_o good_a ground_n both_o from_o scripture_n and_o experience_n judge_v those_o thing_n to_o be_v the_o greated_a mystery_n of_o iniquity_n and_o the_o most_o dangerous_a and_o worst_a of_o all_o error_n and_o here_o i_o can_v but_o mind_v something_o further_o as_o to_o the_o continuation_n of_o those_o thing_n which_o be_v as_o they_o be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o so_o their_o time_n be_v short_a for_o according_a to_o my_o most_o serious_a observation_n wherever_o they_o come_v and_o where_o they_o continue_v long_a their_o rise_n reign_n and_o ruin_n be_v all_o accomplish_a in_o a_o few_o year_n for_o in_o a_o short_a time_n general_o person_n have_v be_v so_o confound_v that_o they_o have_v either_o come_v to_o see_v themselves_o delude_v and_o so_o have_v turn_v from_o they_o or_o else_o they_o have_v run_v to_o absolute_a atheism_n and_o so_o end_v there_o i_o shall_v now_o only_o answer_v one_o objection_n as_o to_o my_o own_o experience_n and_o so_o end_v this_o discourse_n some_o have_v say_v that_o i_o can_v judge_v of_o these_o thing_n by_o experience_n because_o according_a to_o what_o i_o have_v declare_v i_o never_o have_v but_o little_a experience_n of_o they_o but_o only_o in_o three_o or_o four_o thing_n and_o those_o i_o can_v never_o full_o come_v up_o to_o neither_o in_o judgement_n nor_o practice_v neither_o can_v i_o leave_v these_o outward_a thing_n which_o all_o must_v leave_v before_o they_o can_v see_v the_o glory_n of_o the_o inward_a and_o those_o that_o have_v not_o put_v themselves_o on_o such_o thing_n but_o be_v lead_v to_o they_o by_o the_o father_n have_v and_o do_v see_v that_o glory_n this_o objection_n have_v specious_a word_n but_o weigh_v in_o the_o balance_n of_o the_o sanctuary_n will_v be_v find_v light_a than_o vanity_n with_o the_o rest_n of_o the_o like_a nature_n which_o i_o hope_v be_v already_o make_v manifest_a only_o i_o shall_v add_v a_o few_o word_n by_o way_n of_o answer_n first_o for_o my_o experience_n as_o to_o myself_o in_o particular_a i_o confess_v through_o the_o mercy_n of_o god_n it_o be_v far_o short_a of_o that_o which_o many_o precious_a one_o in_o those_o day_n fall_v into_o yet_o i_o can_v true_o say_v it_o be_v so_o much_o as_o do_v clear_o discover_v to_o i_o the_o nature_n and_o tendency_n of_o they_o all_o to_o be_v so_o vile_a that_o i_o i_o do_v not_o know_v any_o thing_n that_o ever_o i_o do_v since_o i_o know_v god_n that_o i_o can_v own_v with_o more_o shame_n to_o myself_o than_o those_o thing_n second_o for_o my_o experience_n as_o to_o other_o i_o have_v see_v and_o know_v that_o sufficient_o to_o satisfy_v i_o that_o there_o be_v no_o such_o glory_n in_o they_o but_o a_o mere_a delusion_n but_o i_o desire_v to_o judge_v by_o experience_n no_o otherwise_o than_o as_o it_o have_v relation_n to_o the_o holy_a scripture_n for_o though_o i_o do_v very_o high_o esteem_v of_o christian_a experience_n as_o to_o the_o operation_n and_o effect_n of_o truth_n in_o the_o soul_n as_o indeed_o it_o be_v the_o very_a life_n of_o christianity_n yet_o as_o to_o rule_v i_o value_v one_o word_n of_o scripture_n more_o than_o all_o experience_n and_o i_o be_o sure_a the_o scripture_n will_v not_o own_v they_o which_o be_v the_o rule_n and_o touchstone_n by_o which_o i_o desire_v to_o try_v and_o judge_v all_o thing_n for_o that_o which_o the_o scripture_n set_v up_o they_o throw_v down_o and_o that_o which_o the_o scripture_n forbid_v they_o set_v up_o for_o instance_n the_o scripture_n exalt_v the_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n in_o all_o his_o action_n office_n and_o ordinance_n they_o set_v up_o something_o else_o in_o opposition_n to_o this_o calling_z it_o fleshly_a carnal_a and_o outward_a thing_n and_o for_o the_o father_n lead_v person_n to_o they_o which_o word_n carry_v indeed_o a_o seem_a show_n of_o excellency_n but_o it_o be_v a_o mere_a delusion_n there_o be_v no_o such_o thing_n for_o the_o father_n and_o christ_n be_v one_o and_o what_o be_v appoint_v by_o christ_n be_v appoint_v by_o the_o father_n john_n 10._o 3._o &_o 14._o 24._o and_o he_o do_v not_o lead_v from_o his_o own_o appointment_n but_o those_o that_o continue_v in_o they_o he_o will_v love_v and_o he_o will_v send_v his_o spirit_n to_o they_o which_o shall_v abide_v with_o they_o for_o ever_o joh._n 14._o 16._o and_o the_o father_n and_o christ_n will_v come_v to_o they_o and_o make_v their_o abode_n with_o they_o verse_n 23._o i_o have_v already_o write_v that_o which_o may_v more_o full_o answer_v this_o objection_n shall_v say_v no_o more_o but_o desire_v that_o all_o the_o lord_n people_n may_v be_v deliver_v and_o keep_v from_o such_o deceive_n the_o sixth_o note_n of_o experience_n in_o relation_n to_o qualification_n the_o habit_n of_o grace_n or_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n how_o and_o by_o what_o mean_v i_o have_v and_o do_v daily_o find_v a_o increase_n or_o decrease_v in_o those_o thing_n to_o make_v way_n for_o i_o to_o lay_v down_o my_o thought_n as_o to_o gracious_a qualification_n i_o shall_v first_o consider_v the_o several_a kind_n of_o qualification_n which_o i_o conceive_v may_v be_v three_o 1._o moral_a 2._o legal_a 3._o gospel_n by_o moral_a i_o mean_v such_o as_o be_v from_o moral_a dictate_v mere_o from_o nature_n civility_n breed_v or_o education_n by_o legal_a i_o mean_v such_o as_o be_v from_o legal_a dictate_v mere_o from_o fear_n of_o wrath_n without_o any_o clear_a apprehension_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n but_o here_o i_o desire_v to_o be_v very_o tender_a judge_v that_o it_o be_v possible_a there_o may_v be_v some_o seed_n of_o the_o gospel_n sow_v in_o such_o heart_n by_o which_o those_o qualification_n may_v be_v wrought_v though_o as_o yet_o it_o may_v not_o appear_v neither_o to_o themselves_o nor_o other_o that_o they_o have_v receive_v
for_o doubtless_o though_o its_o one_o of_o the_o last_o yet_o it_o be_v not_o the_o least_o trial_n that_o after_o we_o have_v in_o a_o great_a measure_n overcome_v the_o world_n the_o devil_n and_o our_o own_o heart_n we_o shall_v meet_v with_o let_n and_o discouragement_n from_o one_o another_o it_o be_v that_o indeed_o which_o be_v suitable_a to_o a_o imperfect_a state_n in_o which_o we_o be_v and_o by_o which_o we_o may_v learn_v as_o to_o live_v more_o single_o on_o god_n so_o also_o to_o press_v after_o and_o long_o for_o that_o perfect_a state_n in_o which_o we_o shall_v be_v at_o the_o appearance_n of_o our_o lord_n jesus_n christ_n i_o may_v enlarge_v much_o in_o this_o matter_n but_o i_o intend_v only_o to_o hint_n at_o thing_n desire_v the_o lord_n to_o stir_v up_o the_o heart_n of_o some_o more_o able_a to_o enlarge_v upon_o it_o know_v there_o be_v great_a need_n that_o saint_n shall_v be_v exhort_v to_o this_o duty_n namely_o not_o to_o discourage_v but_o to_o encourage_v one_o another_o in_o all_o good_a thing_n &_o i_o desire_v that_o we_o may_v set_v before_o we_o that_o exhortation_n of_o the_o apostle_n gal._n 5._o 26_o let_v we_o not_o be_v desirous_a of_o vain_a glory_n provoke_v one_o another_o envy_v one_o another_o from_o whence_o i_o observe_v that_o to_o be_v desirous_a of_o vain_a glory_n make_v way_n for_o a_o spirit_n of_o envy_n and_o so_o to_o provoke_v and_o grieve_v one_o another_o the_o consideration_n of_o that_o scripture_n with_o jam._n 4._o 5._o may_v through_o the_o blessing_n of_o god_n be_v very_o useful_a to_o saint_n for_o this_o purpose_n for_o questionless_a a_o slight_n of_o the_o gift_n and_o grace_n of_o god_n in_o other_o do_v many_o time_n arise_v off_o a_o desire_n of_o vain_a glory_n and_o a_o spirit_n of_o envy_n the_o first_o note_n of_o experience_n of_o the_o good_a providence_n of_o god_n towards_o i_o in_o a_o state_n of_o ignorance_n and_o darkness_n before_o conversion_n it_o please_v the_o lord_n i_o be_v civil_o bring_v up_o from_o a_o child_n and_o keep_v from_o such_o gross_a evil_n as_o person_n mere_o civil_a do_v not_o allow_v but_o otherways_o very_o vain_a and_o that_o which_o instrumental_o keep_v i_o from_o such_o thing_n as_o i_o conceive_v be_v together_o with_o my_o civil_a education_n a_o desire_n of_o happiness_n and_o a_o fear_n of_o misery_n have_v a_o general_a notion_n that_o sin_n be_v attend_v with_o misery_n for_o i_o remember_v when_o i_o have_v do_v any_o thing_n that_o i_o think_v be_v sin_n i_o be_v present_o under_o great_a fear_n and_o terror_n to_o take_v off_o which_o and_o also_o to_o attain_v happiness_n in_o the_o end_n i_o think_v i_o be_v to_o be_v exercise_v in_o some_o kind_n of_o religion_n but_o be_v very_o ignorant_a i_o make_v no_o inquiry_n what_o religion_n be_v but_o take_v it_o for_o grant_v that_o that_o be_v religion_n which_o be_v then_o in_o force_n from_o king_n and_o bishop_n and_o so_o go_v on_o i_o grow_v very_o superstitious_o zealous_a in_o all_o thing_n suitable_a to_o the_o service_n book_n or_o a_o cathedral_n kind_a of_o worship_n and_o i_o think_v the_o more_o i_o abound_v in_o fast_v book_n prayer_n and_o observation_n of_o day_n and_o time_n mourning_n and_o afflict_v myself_o for_o sin_n the_o better_a it_o be_v so_o that_o i_o think_v i_o do_v exceed_v most_o that_o i_o know_v in_o that_o way_n for_o blind_a zeal_n and_o superstitious_a devotion_n yet_o at_o this_o very_a time_n i_o think_v myself_o far_o from_o popery_n and_o do_v always_o oppose_v that_o with_o much_o zeal_n and_o i_o be_o sure_a with_o much_o ignorance_n then_o be_v acquaint_v with_o some_o who_o be_v then_o call_v puritan_n i_o begin_v to_o perceive_v that_o there_o be_v some_o difference_n betwixt_o that_o which_o i_o practise_v and_o that_o which_o be_v do_v by_o they_o and_o my_o observation_n of_o their_o carriage_n and_o hear_v they_o speak_v such_o language_n as_o i_o be_v altogether_o a_o stranger_n to_o do_v so_o far_o work_v upon_o i_o that_o i_o begin_v to_o question_v my_o own_o condition_n and_o oft_o time_n when_o i_o have_v do_v my_o long_a book_n prayer_n though_o i_o have_v scarce_o ever_o hear_v of_o pray_v without_o a_o book_n yet_o i_o will_v in_o a_o poor_a break_a manner_n complain_v to_o god_n that_o i_o be_v in_o some_o fear_n that_o what_o i_o do_v be_v not_o according_a to_o his_o will_n and_o if_o it_o be_v not_o i_o do_v beg_v of_o he_o that_o he_o will_v bring_v i_o to_o the_o knowledge_n of_o the_o truth_n whatever_o i_o do_v undergo_v for_o attain_v of_o it_o but_o then_o sometime_o i_o think_v my_o condition_n good_a enough_o and_o though_o i_o be_v never_o give_v to_o rail_v or_o speak_v evil_a of_o such_o person_n yet_o i_o think_v they_o make_v more_o ado_n than_o they_o need_v to_o have_v do_v and_o that_o god_n do_v not_o require_v so_o much_o strictness_n as_o they_o seem_v to_o plead_v for_o but_o hear_v they_o speak_v much_o of_o knowledge_n and_o of_o the_o danger_n of_o ignorance_n and_o know_v myself_o to_o be_v very_o ignorant_a i_o begin_v to_o be_v more_o frequent_a in_o read_v the_o scripture_n and_o hear_v sermon_n but_o my_o understanding_n not_o be_v yet_o open_v it_o be_v to_o little_a effect_n for_o i_o remember_v i_o be_v at_o this_o time_n like_o a_o stock_n or_o stone_n as_o to_o the_o true_a understanding_n of_o that_o which_o i_o read_v or_o hear_v that_o i_o can_v true_o say_v as_o the_o prophet_n in_o psal_n 73._o 22._o so_o foolish_a be_v i_o and_o ignorant_a even_o as_o a_o beast_n before_o thou_o and_o yet_o at_o this_o time_n i_o be_v something_o in_o affection_n as_o when_o i_o hear_v any_o thing_n of_o the_o judgement_n of_o god_n against_o sin_n i_o shall_v tremble_v and_o when_o any_o thing_n of_o the_o mercy_n and_o goodness_n of_o god_n or_o the_o love_n and_o sweetness_n of_o jesus_n christ_n my_o heart_n will_v melt_v as_o i_o think_v yet_o i_o understand_v nothing_o so_o as_o to_o have_v it_o seat_v in_o the_o understanding_n and_o judgement_n this_o in_o general_n i_o do_v remember_v as_o to_o that_o state_n some_o brief_a observation_n from_o this_o note_n of_o experience_n first_o concern_v my_o be_v keep_v from_o sin_n by_o a_o desire_n of_o happiness_n and_o fear_v of_o misery_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o in_o the_o day_n of_o ignorance_n before_o we_o have_v receive_v grace_n to_o restrain_v we_o from_o sin_n it_o be_v a_o mercy_n to_o be_v restrain_v by_o something_o else_o and_o true_o to_o i_o its_o a_o mercy_n so_o considerable_a that_o i_o desire_v to_o bless_v the_o lord_n for_o it_o as_o long_o as_o i_o live_v second_o concern_v my_o seek_n after_o and_o frame_v to_o myself_o some_o kind_n of_o religion_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o its_o natural_a for_o person_n to_o make_v after_o some_o kind_n of_o religion_n and_o rather_o than_o they_o will_v worship_v nothing_o they_o will_v worship_v samaritan_n like_v they_o know_v not_o what_o john_n 4._o 22._o three_o concern_v my_o oppose_a popery_n when_o myself_o live_v in_o the_o practice_n of_o the_o same_o thing_n for_o the_o nature_n of_o it_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o a_o person_n may_v oppose_v a_o error_n and_o yet_o live_v at_o that_o time_n in_o the_o same_o error_n for_o the_o nature_n of_o it_o though_o in_o a_o low_a degree_n and_o not_o know_v it_o and_o that_o not_o only_a person_n total_o ignorant_a but_o saint_n also_o if_o they_o take_v not_o good_a heed_n for_o i_o have_v experience_v this_o more_o time_n than_o once_o four_o concern_v my_o complaint_n and_o prayer_n to_o god_n in_o relation_n to_o truth_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o a_o person_n before_o conversion_n may_v for_o aught_o i_o know_v true_o pray_v and_o that_o from_o a_o secret_a work_n of_o god_n upon_o the_o heart_n and_o therefore_o though_o i_o can_v from_o scripture-rule_a exhort_v such_o to_o pray_v so_o neither_o from_o ence_n can_v i_o forbid_v they_o but_o rather_o rejoice_v to_o see_v the_o heart_n of_o any_o run_v out_o in_o such_o a_o way_n five_o concern_v my_o be_v so_o much_o affect_v with_o truth_n though_o i_o understand_v it_o not_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o ignorant_a person_n in_o hear_v truth_n may_v have_v their_o reason_n so_o far_o touch_v that_o they_o may_v assent_v to_o it_o and_o be_v much_o affect_v with_o it_o and_o yet_o understand_v nothing_o so_o as_o to_o have_v it_o seat_v in_o the_o heart_n and_o judgement_n and_o because_o it_o be_v not_o seat_v in_o the_o heart_n and_o judgement_n that_o i_o conceive_v be_v the_o reason_n why_o ignorant_a person_n be_v so_o uncertain_a and_o so_o unconstant_a in_o their_o thought_n
mere_o by_o their_o word_n that_o i_o dare_v read_v it_o no_o further_o but_o send_v it_o home_o again_o resolve_v to_o stick_v to_o my_o old_a principle_n and_o so_o resolve_v i_o be_v that_o i_o judge_v it_o my_o duty_n and_o according_o do_v praise_v the_o lord_n that_o i_o have_v escape_v that_o snare_n and_o stumble_a block_n which_o it_o be_v like_a to_o be_v to_o i_o till_o about_o half_a a_o year_n after_o these_o forementioned_a minister_n not_o be_v satisfy_v to_o speak_v against_o those_o book_n in_o private_a only_o but_o bring_v they_o into_o their_o pulpit_n read_v particular_a passage_n which_o as_o they_o read_v and_o apply_v it_o be_v contrary_a to_o the_o sense_n of_o it_o and_o sometime_o i_o think_v they_o speak_v more_o than_o be_v true_a which_o do_v occasion_v i_o to_o desire_v the_o book_n again_o for_o my_o better_a satisfaction_n but_o they_o not_o be_v allow_v to_o be_v sell_v at_o that_o time_n it_o be_v hard_a to_o get_v any_o of_o they_o but_o through_o mercy_n i_o get_v one_o and_o then_o i_o find_v they_o do_v not_o deal_v faithful_o but_o do_v wrest_v and_o draw_v false_a con_fw-mi sequence_n contrary_a to_o the_o drist_n and_o scope_n of_o it_o all_o which_o occasion_v serious_a thought_n in_o i_o remember_v when_o i_o first_o read_v it_o i_o lay_v it_o aside_o mere_o from_o a_o spirit_n of_o fear_n and_o prejudice_v occasion_v by_o their_o word_n and_o not_o that_o i_o be_v able_a to_o disprove_v it_o from_o scripture_n ground_n then_o remember_v those_o word_n of_o the_o apostle_n i_o thes_n 5._o 21._o try_v all_o thing_n and_o hold_v fast_o that_o which_o be_v good_a i_o think_v it_o my_o duty_n to_o lay_v aside_o all_o slavish_a fear_n and_o prejudice_n and_o to_o try_v it_o exact_o by_o the_o scripture_n believe_v that_o as_o it_o be_v god_n way_n to_o try_v so_o he_o will_v assist_v i_o in_o it_o which_o he_o be_v please_v to_o do_v and_o as_o i_o read_v i_o begin_v to_o be_v much_o affect_v and_o i_o think_v it_o be_v glad_a tiding_n and_o good_a news_n if_o it_o be_v true_a but_o i_o think_v it_o be_v too_o good_a to_o be_v true_a for_o i_o can_v not_o then_o believe_v that_o god_n be_v so_o free_a of_o his_o christ_n as_o to_o give_v he_o to_o any_o other_o sinner_n but_o to_o such_o as_o be_v qualify_v fit_v and_o prepare_v for_o he_o or_o that_o the_o way_n to_o glory_n be_v so_o easy_a as_o he_o seem_v to_o make_v it_o for_o if_o it_o be_v so_o than_o all_o that_o labour_n and_o travel_v which_o i_o have_v be_v a_o long_a time_n in_o be_v nothing_o which_o i_o can_v by_o no_o mean_n yield_v to_o at_o that_o time_n for_o as_o christ_n once_o say_v to_o the_o jew_n that_o publican_n and_o harlot_n enter_v into_o the_o kingdom_n before_o they_o mat._n 21._o 31._o so_o true_o i_o find_v it_o so_o hard_a to_o lay_v down_o my_o own_o legal_a righteousness_n and_o to_o submit_v to_o the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n by_o faith_n according_a to_o rom._n 10._o 3._o that_o i_o be_v like_a to_o stick_v here_o when_o such_o as_o be_v more_o profane_a may_v receive_v the_o truth_n soon_o but_o serious_o weigh_v these_o with_o some_o other_o such_o like_a scripture_n as_o rom._n 4._o 4._o and_o 5._o 8._o ephe._n 2._o through_o grace_n i_o be_v in_o a_o great_a measure_n convince_v and_o bring_v to_o see_v that_o i_o have_v be_v exceed_o mistake_v in_o my_o understanding_n and_o apply_v of_o jesus_n christ_n and_o whereas_o i_o think_v i_o have_v attain_v a_o good_a degree_n of_o knowledge_n i_o now_o see_v myself_o to_o be_v very_o ignorant_a and_o must_v begin_v again_o to_o learn_v the_o first_o principle_n of_o the_o oracle_n of_o god_n which_o to_o suffer_v so_o much_o loss_n be_v very_o hard_o to_o i_o at_o the_o first_o but_o god_n be_v please_v by_o degree_n to_o strip_v i_o of_o all_o and_o to_o show_v i_o such_o a_o beauty_n and_o excellency_n in_o the_o lord_n jesus_n above_o it_o that_o i_o be_v make_v not_o only_o willing_a but_o joyous_a to_o lay_v down_o all_o at_o his_o foot_n and_o i_o trust_v can_v true_o say_v with_o the_o apostle_n that_o what_o be_v gain_v to_o i_o i_o count_v loss_n for_o christ_n yea_o doubtless_o and_o i_o count_v all_o thing_n but_o loss_n for_o the_o excellency_n of_o the_o knowledge_n of_o christ_n jesus_n my_o lord_n for_o who_o i_o have_v suffer_v the_o loss_n of_o all_o thing_n and_o do_v count_v they_o but_o dung_n that_o i_o may_v win_v christ_n and_o be_v find_v in_o he_o etc._n etc._n phil._n 3_o 7_o 8_o 9_o etc._n etc._n and_o as_o god_n have_v exalt_v christ_n to_o be_v a_o prince_n and_o a_o saviour_n act_v 5._o 31._o and_o have_v choose_v he_o as_o the_o only_a excellent_a one_o in_o who_o he_o have_v place_v life_n and_o salvation_n for_o people_n mat._n 12._o 18._o so_o my_o soul_n do_v approve_v of_o it_o to_o be_v the_o most_o excellent_a way_n and_o i_o trust_v can_v true_o say_v with_o the_o spouse_n he_o be_v the_o chief_a of_o ten_o thousand_o you_o he_o be_v one_o and_o there_o be_v not_o another_o cant._n 5._o 10._o act._n 4._o 12._o and_o the_o more_o i_o come_v to_o apprehend_v the_o glory_n of_o the_o gospel_n in_o the_o free_a tender_n and_o invitation_n of_o christ_n to_o sinner_n the_o more_o still_o i_o be_v affect_v with_o it_o and_o do_v admire_v it_o and_o see_v the_o tender_v of_o grace_n so_o free_a and_o the_o invitation_n so_o general_a that_o whosoever_o will_v come_v may_v come_v and_o take_v of_o the_o water_n of_o life_n free_o esay_n 55._o 1._o revel_v 22._o 17._o and_o that_o whosoever_o come_v to_o christ_n he_o will_v in_o no_o wise_a cast_n out_o john_n 6._o 37._o by_o which_o word_n come_v i_o understand_v believe_v vers_fw-la 40._o and_o then_o consider_v the_o nature_n of_o the_o covenant_n that_o it_o be_v a_o covenant_n of_o grace_n free_a and_o without_o all_o condition_n on_o the_o creature_n part_n and_o that_o the_o condition_n stand_v only_o between_o god_n and_o christ_n as_o i_o then_o understand_v by_o these_o scripture_n esay_n 53._o 10._o psal_n 89._o through_o these_o consideration_n i_o be_v not_o only_o encourage_v but_o the_o abound_a love_n of_o christ_n do_v compel_v and_o constrain_v i_o to_o cast_v myself_o upon_o he_o for_o life_n and_o salvation_n in_o a_o way_n of_o believe_v and_o not_o in_o a_o way_n of_o work_v and_o to_o the_o praise_n of_o his_o grace_n as_o i_o desire_v never_o to_o forget_v it_o i_o do_v at_o this_o time_n receive_v the_o assurance_n of_o the_o love_n of_o god_n in_o believe_v the_o free_a and_o full_a pardon_n of_o all_o my_o sin_n that_o god_n have_v lay_v they_o all_o upon_o christ_n and_o behold_v the_o travel_n of_o his_o soul_n be_v satisfy_v esay_n 53._o 11._o and_o well_o please_v with_o i_o in_o he_o mat._n 3._o 17._o and_o that_o they_o be_v all_o carry_v into_o the_o wilderness_n of_o forgetfulness_n and_o bury_v in_o oblivion_n according_a to_o that_o type_n of_o christ_n levit._n 16._o 21_o 22._o and_o that_o they_o be_v wash_v away_o in_o his_o blood_n revel_v 1._o 5._o and_o that_o god_n will_v remember_v they_o no_o more_o heb._n 8._o 12._o and_o 10._o 17._o these_o scripture_n with_o some_o other_o of_o the_o like_a nature_n be_v by_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n set_v home_o so_o powerful_o upon_o my_o heart_n at_o that_o time_n that_o true_o i_o can_v express_v the_o joyfulness_n and_o sweetness_n of_o my_o condition_n not_o be_v able_a to_o contain_v myself_o from_o call_v to_o other_o to_o tell_v they_o what_o god_n have_v do_v for_o my_o soul_n how_o he_o have_v bring_v i_o out_o of_o bondage_n into_o the_o glorious_a liberty_n of_o adoption_n and_o fill_v i_o with_o joy_n and_o peace_n in_o believe_v yea_o with_o joy_n unspeakable_a and_o full_a of_o glory_n rom._n 15._o 13._o 1_o pet._n 1._o 8._o and_o i_o remember_v for_o a_o long_a time_n after_o i_o do_v delight_n to_o be_v almost_o continual_o speak_v or_o meditate_v of_o the_o glory_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o gospel_n and_o of_o his_o bounty_n and_o goodness_n to_o poor_a sinner_n and_o to_o i_o the_o chief_a of_o sinner_n for_o i_o know_v more_o evil_a by_o myself_o than_o i_o do_v by_o any_o other_o yet_o doubtless_o i_o can_v say_v as_o it_o be_v once_o say_v of_o the_o thessalonian_o the_o gosspel_n come_v not_o to_o i_o at_o that_o time_n in_o word_n only_o but_o in_o power_n and_o much_o assurance_n and_o joy_n in_o the_o holy_a ghost_n 1_o thes_n 1._o 5._o and_o whereas_o former_o i_o think_v that_o to_o receive_v such_o a_o principle_n be_v the_o ready_a way_n to_o be_v loose_a and_o carnal_a i_o do_v
believe_v that_o as_o justification_n and_o sanctification_n be_v inseparable_a 2_o thes_n 2._o 13._o and_o that_o as_o one_o end_n of_o christ_n death_n be_v as_o well_o to_o redeem_v his_o people_n from_o all_o iniquity_n and_o the_o power_n of_o sin_n as_o from_o the_o punishment_n of_o sin_n so_o the_o power_n of_o grace_n be_v more_o strong_a and_o able_a to_o keep_v i_o from_o sin_n than_o all_o the_o legal_a band_n and_o slavish_a fear_n in_o the_o world_n tit._n 2._o 11._o and_o though_o possible_o i_o may_v meet_v with_o some_o temptation_n of_o that_o nature_n yet_o to_o the_o praise_n of_o his_o grace_n i_o can_v true_o say_v i_o never_o find_v my_o heart_n more_o engage_v for_o god_n and_o godliness_n and_o more_o disengage_v from_o sin_n than_o now_o which_o the_o lord_n keep_v i_o so_o and_o all_o his_o amen_o some_o brief_a observation_n from_o this_o three_o note_n of_o experience_n first_o concern_v my_o confidence_n in_o my_o former_a condition_n before_o i_o know_v these_o thing_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o person_n may_v be_v very_o confident_a on_o false_a ground_n and_o that_o it_o be_v not_o the_o confidence_n that_o make_v the_o condition_n good_a but_o the_o ground_n of_o it_o for_o though_o still_o i_o say_v i_o be_o incline_v to_o own_o the_o work_n of_o conversion_n to_o be_v begin_v in_o i_o at_o that_o time_n before_o say_v by_o some_o accidental_a or_o providential_a scatter_n of_o the_o seed_n of_o the_o gospel_n yet_o through_o false_a teach_n those_o seed_n be_v so_o bury_v under_o the_o ash_n of_o legal_a righteousness_n that_o there_o be_v a_o great_a power_n require_v to_o blow_v off_o those_o ash_n and_o to_o carry_v on_o that_o work_n than_o if_o it_o have_v never_o be_v begin_v according_a to_o that_o forementioned_a place_n matth._n 21._o 31._o how_o hard_o then_o must_v it_o need_v be_v to_o begin_v that_o work_n where_o there_o be_v only_o such_o a_o righteousness_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o legal_a righteousness_n where_o the_o work_n of_o conversion_n be_v begin_v in_o a_o soul_n be_v a_o great_a obstruction_n to_o the_o carry_v on_o and_o perfect_v of_o that_o work_n second_o concern_v the_o manner_n of_o the_o deal_n of_o god_n with_o i_o in_o the_o manifestation_n of_o his_o love_n and_o grace_n which_o be_v at_o this_o time_n by_o read_v as_o indeed_o however_o god_n be_v please_v to_o deal_v with_o other_o yet_o with_o i_o i_o can_v say_v but_o what_o i_o have_v receive_v i_o have_v always_o receive_v by_o and_o through_o some_o mean_n from_o whence_o i_o observe_v that_o it_o be_v good_a to_o wait_v on_o god_n in_o the_o use_n of_o all_o mean_n for_o though_o the_o holy_a one_o of_o israel_n be_v not_o limit_v yet_o ordinary_o he_o work_v by_o mean_n and_o leave_v no_o ground_n in_o holy_a scripture_n to_o expect_v he_o out_o of_o mean_n three_o concern_v my_o idolize_v those_o forementioned_a minister_n be_v keep_v by_o it_o from_o read_v or_o hear_v any_o other_o doctrine_n but_o they_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o it_o be_v a_o dangerous_a thing_n to_o esteem_v of_o person_n above_o what_o be_v meet_v and_o to_o be_v implicit_o lead_v by_o they_o in_o spiritual_a thing_n four_o concern_v my_o not_o receive_v the_o doctrine_n of_o free_a grace_n for_o fear_n of_o carnal_a liberty_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o such_o as_o be_v ignorant_a of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n be_v subject_a to_o this_o mistake_n to_o think_v it_o the_o way_n to_o sin_n when_o indeed_o there_o be_v no_o true_a holiness_n without_o it_o five_o concern_v its_o be_v so_o hard_o to_o i_o to_o lay_v down_o my_o own_o righteousness_n etc._n etc._n and_o yet_o that_o i_o shall_v do_v it_o with_o so_o much_o joy_n when_o i_o see_v clear_o the_o righteousness_n of_o christ_n to_o excel_v all_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o though_o it_o be_v a_o very_a hard_a thing_n for_o person_n eminent_a in_o legal_a righteousness_n to_o lay_v it_o down_o and_o submit_v to_o the_o righteousness_n of_o god_n by_o faith_n yet_o the_o appearance_n of_o the_o transcendent_a excellency_n of_o christ_n righteousness_n will_v make_v they_o do_v it_o with_o joy_n six_o concern_v my_o be_v so_o much_o affect_v with_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n at_o my_o first_o receive_v it_o that_o i_o can_v not_o but_o declare_v it_o to_o other_o from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o the_o glad_a tiding_n of_o the_o gospel_n be_v apply_v by_o the_o spirit_n of_o christ_n so_o glad_v the_o heart_n that_o when_o the_o soul_n first_o receive_v it_o its_o like_a fire_n that_o can_v be_v hide_v seven_o concern_v the_o effect_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n upon_o my_o heart_n engage_v i_o more_o to_o himself_o and_o disingage_v i_o more_o from_o sin_n from_o thence_o i_o observe_v that_o there_o be_v no_o engagement_n so_o strong_a to_o keep_v the_o soul_n from_o sin_v against_o god_n as_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n nor_o nothing_o more_o endear_v the_o heart_n to_o god_n yet_o doubtless_o where_o there_o be_v nothing_o but_o only_a the_o notion_n of_o it_o there_o be_v the_o great_a advantage_n to_o satan_n that_o can_v be_v and_o usual_o such_o person_n be_v the_o worst_a of_o all_o other_o for_o though_o gospel_n bond_n be_v the_o best_a to_o be_v tie_v from_o sin_n by_o yet_o in_o many_o respect_v its_o better_a to_o be_v tie_v by_o legal_a bond_n than_o none_o at_o all_o yet_o for_o saint_n to_o be_v so_o tie_v be_v not_o only_o carnal_a and_o below_o their_o privilege_n but_o a_o great_a dishonour_n to_o christ_n and_o a_o undervalue_v of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n which_o above_o all_o thing_n ought_v to_o be_v exalt_v by_o we_o as_o that_o alone_a by_o which_o we_o be_v true_o exalt_v and_o therefore_o aught_o to_o lie_v as_o the_o strong_a engagement_n on_o saint_n heart_n to_o keep_v they_o from_o sin_n and_o see_v all_o that_o we_o be_v have_v or_o ever_o shall_v have_v as_o to_o happiness_n here_o or_o glory_n hereafter_o be_v all_o of_o grace_n i_o desire_v for_o ever_o to_o admire_v it_o and_o to_o live_v in_o the_o glory_n of_o it_o by_o faith_n but_o this_o i_o find_v of_o all_o other_o the_o hard_a lesson_n yea_o so_o hard_a that_o unto_o this_o day_n i_o have_v cause_n to_o complain_v of_o a_o unbelieve_a heart_n in_o many_o thing_n and_o i_o have_v often_o experience_v that_o to_o bring_v over_o the_o heart_n to_o believe_v and_o to_o keep_v it_o up_o in_o believe_v be_v no_o less_o than_o the_o mighty_a power_n and_o gift_n of_o god_n john_n 6._o 65._o phil_n 1._o 29._o ephesi_n 1._o 19_o yet_o in_o this_o i_o have_v strong_a consolation_n that_o i_o be_o keep_v by_o his_o power_n 1_o peter_z 1._o 5._o and_o he_o have_v say_v i_o will_v never_o leave_v thou_o nor_o forsake_v thou_o hebrew_n 13._o 5._o and_o as_o the_o lord_n once_o say_v to_o peter_n though_o satan_n shall_v desire_v to_o winnow_v i_o like_o wheat_n yet_o he_o have_v pray_v for_o i_o and_o my_o faith_n shall_v not_o fail_v and_o though_o the_o very_a reason_n why_o some_o person_n do_v not_o believe_v be_v for_o want_v of_o a_o clear_a understanding_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n in_o the_o general_a tender_n of_o it_o to_o sinner_n yet_o all_o that_o have_v that_o understanding_n do_v not_o believe_v john_n 12._o 17._o there_o be_v some_o who_o heart_n be_v harden_v that_o they_o can_v not_o believe_v and_o act_n 13._o 41._o it_o be_v say_v of_o the_o jew_n they_o shall_v in_o no_o way_n believe_v the_o work_n of_o god_n though_o a_o man_n declare_v it_o to_o they_o that_o be_v to_o say_v though_o they_o do_v understand_v it_o and_o as_o faith_n be_v wrought_v in_o the_o soul_n by_o god_n so_o it_o be_v that_o by_o which_o we_o most_o honour_n he_o and_o without_o which_o it_o be_v impossible_a to_o please_v he_o faith_n work_v many_o way_n and_o it_o be_v a_o excellent_a thing_n to_o be_v strong_a in_o faith_n as_o we_o may_v see_v in_o those_o worthy_n hebrew_n 11._o it_o be_v the_o very_a life_n of_o saint_n galatian_n 2._o 20._o and_o without_o it_o there_o be_v no_o life_n in_o they_o john_n 6._o 53._o and_o as_o there_o be_v no_o life_n without_o it_o so_o there_o be_v no_o life_n above_o it_o till_o grace_v be_v swallow_v up_o in_o glory_n for_o the_o just_a shall_v live_v by_o faith_n hebrew_n the_o 10._o verse_n 38._o but_o though_o faith_n act_v many_o way_n and_o about_o many_o thing_n yet_o it_o must_v always_o act_v in_o free_a grace_n and_o there_o be_v no_o room_n for_o it_o elsewhere_o for_o when_o we_o go_v to_o exercise_v faith_n out_o of_o free_a grace_n it_o be_v weak_a and_o feeble_a and_o ready_a to_o
the_o gospel_n this_o only_a as_o to_o possibility_n for_o ordinary_o it_o be_v not_o so_o but_o three_o by_o gospel_n qualification_n i_o mean_v such_o as_o be_v from_o gospel_n dictate_v from_o a_o clear_a apprehension_n of_o the_o free_a grace_n of_o god_n therein_o be_v constrain_v from_o the_o love_n of_o christ_n and_o in_o obedience_n to_o the_o command_n and_o authority_n of_o christ_n the_o soul_n give_v up_o itself_o in_o all_o thing_n to_o be_v like_o he_o such_o as_o be_v wrought_v by_o the_o gospel_n and_o spirit_n receive_v they_o and_o they_o only_o be_v the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n but_o as_o for_o those_o other_o qualification_n person_n that_o be_v ignorant_a of_o the_o gosspel_n and_o have_v not_o receive_v the_o spirit_n may_v be_v eminent_a in_o they_o which_o indeed_o for_o that_o they_o have_v such_o a_o resemblance_n of_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v great_a ornament_n as_o to_o appearance_n though_o as_o to_o inward_a glory_n they_o do_v many_o time_n prove_v miserable_a ornament_n be_v prop_n and_o stay_n that_o keep_v such_o person_n from_o come_v to_o christ_n and_o as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o the_o pharisee_n mat._n 21._o 31._o publican_n and_o harlot_n do_v enter_v into_o the_o kingdom_n rather_o than_o they_o and_o this_o i_o have_v experience_v that_o as_o to_o my_o receive_n christ_n upon_o gosspel_n term_n there_o be_v nothing_o so_o hard_a to_o i_o as_o to_o lay_v aside_o all_o those_o qualification_n as_o i_o have_v already_o express_v in_o my_o three_o and_o four_o note_n of_o experience_n now_o for_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n what_o they_o be_v be_v express_v both_o in_o general_a and_o particular_a term_n in_o general_a ephes_n 5._o 9_o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v in_o all_o goodness_n righteousness_n and_o truth_n more_o particular_o gal._n 5._o 22_o 23._o the_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n be_v love_n joy_n peace_n long_o suffer_v gentleness_n goodness_n faith_n meekness_n temperance_n etc._n etc._n also_o there_o be_v other_o thing_n express_v in_o other_o term_n in_o scripture_n which_o doubtless_o be_v likewise_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n though_o i_o think_v with_o submission_n to_o better_a judgement_n all_o other_o be_v include_v in_o these_o whether_o it_o be_v self_n denial_n patience_n humility_n or_o the_o like_a these_o thing_n be_v excellent_a ornament_n which_o do_v adorn_v christian_n in_o the_o eye_n of_o man_n and_o do_v redound_v much_o to_o the_o glory_n of_o god_n and_o therefore_o very_o considerable_a for_o saint_n to_o press_v after_o they_o by_o all_o mean_n i_o must_v confess_v that_o in_o the_o view_n of_o my_o own_o heart_n i_o have_v many_o time_n be_v much_o grieve_v to_o see_v how_o short_a i_o come_v in_o all_o these_o thing_n but_o especial_o in_o some_o of_o they_o yet_o through_o grace_n i_o can_v say_v i_o have_v receive_v a_o measure_n of_o they_o all_o and_o by_o experience_n do_v know_v if_o my_o heart_n deceive_v i_o not_o wherein_o i_o be_o weak_a and_o wherein_o strong_a and_o though_o i_o be_o sure_a in_o those_o in_o which_o i_o be_o strong_a i_o be_o but_o weak_a consider_v how_o i_o ought_v to_o be_v now_o i_o shall_v speak_v a_o little_a how_o and_o by_o what_o mean_v according_a to_o my_o experience_n and_o as_o i_o judge_v according_a to_o scripture_n rule_n these_o thing_n do_v increase_v or_o decrease_v in_o saint_n first_o i_o conceive_v they_o increase_v and_o be_v strengthen_v by_o a_o close_o walk_v with_o god_n in_o all_o spiritual_a duty_n especial_o private_a duty_n meditation_n self-examination_n self-watching_a self-judging_a self-humbling_a and_o prayer_n which_o be_v indeed_o such_o duty_n as_o no_o hypocrite_n can_v true_o do_v not_o that_o these_o private_a duty_n be_v above_o public_a but_o that_o they_o prepare_v for_o public_a and_o by_o these_o we_o be_v acquaint_v with_o our_o own_o heart_n &_o come_v to_o know_v wherein_o we_o be_v weak_a and_o wherein_o strong_a what_o we_o have_v receive_v and_o what_o we_o want_v and_o so_o how_o to_o apply_v ourselves_o to_o god_n in_o public_a and_o private_a for_o the_o subdue_a of_o such_o a_o corruption_n or_o for_o the_o supply_n of_o such_o or_o such_o a_o grace_n and_o this_o according_a to_o my_o experience_n as_o i_o have_v walk_v more_o or_o less_o close_a with_o god_n in_o these_o private_a duty_n so_o be_v my_o profit_n in_o public_a duty_n and_o my_o strength_n in_o qualification_n the_o habit_n of_o grace_n more_o or_o less_o and_o i_o be_o confident_a that_o such_o person_n as_o be_v stranger_n to_o these_o private_a duty_n be_v also_o stranger_n to_o their_o own_o heart_n and_o will_v not_o make_v any_o great_a progress_n in_o christianity_n for_o in_o the_o omission_n of_o these_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o be_v exercise_v in_o thing_n contrary_a which_o do_v very_o much_o interrupt_v our_o communion_n with_o god_n and_o so_o weaken_v the_o power_n of_o every_o grace_n in_o we_o or_o rather_o weaken_v the_o power_n of_o grace_n in_o all_o its_o effect_n for_o these_o thing_n be_v not_o proper_o grace_n but_o the_o effect_n of_o grace_n which_o be_v various_a and_o so_o improper_o call_v grace_n as_o when_o we_o do_v not_o daily_o humble_v ourselves_o before_o the_o lord_n we_o be_v subject_a to_o exalt_v ourselves_o before_o man_n and_o when_o we_o do_v not_o watch_v our_o own_o heart_n and_o judge_n ourselves_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o be_v judge_v other_o and_o to_o watch_v over_o they_o in_o a_o evil_a way_n &_o when_o we_o do_v not_o daily_o meditate_v on_o those_o excellent_a qualification_n that_o be_v in_o christ_n himself_o we_o be_v subject_a to_o see_v little_a loveliness_n in_o they_o and_o so_o have_v a_o light_a esteem_n of_o they_o not_o to_o press_v after_o they_o whereas_o we_o be_v to_o imitate_v he_o in_o all_o these_o thing_n according_a to_o mat._n 11._o 28_o 29._o but_o second_o the_o habit_n of_o grace_n or_o fruit_n of_o the_o spirit_n do_v increase_v or_o decrease_v as_o we_o do_v more_o or_o less_o exercise_n that_o measure_n of_o they_o already_o receive_v and_o every_o particular_a grace_n be_v increase_v by_o the_o exercise_n of_o itself_o and_o so_o by_o much_o exercise_n i_o mean_v by_o daily_a act_n they_o do_v as_o it_o be_v become_v natural_a as_o it_o be_v say_v of_o timotheus_n phi._n 2._o 20._o and_o the_o exercise_n of_o faith_n do_v direct_o lead_v we_o to_o the_o fountain_n of_o grace_n in_o behold_v of_o which_o glory_n of_o god_n we_o be_v change_v into_o the_o same_o image_n 1_o cor._n 3._o 18._o there_o be_v such_o a_o transform_a nature_n in_o it_o that_o the_o very_o behold_v of_o it_o transform_v we_o into_o the_o same_o likeness_n rom._n 12._o 2._o and_o i_o can_v true_o say_v from_o bless_a experience_n that_o in_o the_o exercise_n of_o that_o measure_n of_o grace_n i_o have_v receive_v thus_o lead_v i_o to_o behold_v the_o lord_n jesus_n in_o what_o he_o have_v do_v for_o i_o i_o have_v find_v it_o more_o advantageous_a for_o the_o destroy_n of_o corruption_n and_o for_o the_o strengthen_v i_o in_o those_o thing_n than_o in_o any_o other_o mean_n whatsoever_o and_o the_o reason_n why_o many_o person_n do_v sit_v a_o long_a time_n in_o the_o profession_n of_o truth_n and_o yet_o continue_v weak_a ignorant_a barren_a and_o fruitless_a branch_n it_o be_v because_o as_o they_o be_v remiss_a in_o private_a duty_n so_o they_o do_v not_o exercise_v that_o measure_n of_o grace_n receive_v and_o so_o by_o a_o heedless_a careless_a carnal_a walk_n the_o heart_n grow_v carnal_a and_o their_o be_v rather_o a_o decrease_n than_o increase_n in_o all_o spiritual_a strength_n but_o some_o will_v say_v can_v any_o do_v these_o thing_n of_o themselves_o and_o do_v not_o god_n give_v grace_n free_o both_o in_o and_o after_o conversion_n to_o which_o i_o answer_v yea_o but_o in_o the_o work_n of_o conversion_n we_o be_v passive_a i_o mean_v as_o to_o inward_a spiritual_a activity_n we_o can_v do_v nothing_o be_v dead_a according_a to_o ephes_n 2._o 1._o 2_o cor._n 5._o 14._o joh._n 5._o 25._o not_o exclude_v those_o duty_n which_o god_n require_v from_o all_o as_o hear_v the_o gospel_n read_v etc._n etc._n through_o which_o god_n have_v promise_v to_o convey_v spiritual_a life_n esay_n 55._o 3._o rom._n 10._o 17._o but_o after_o conversion_n we_o be_v active_a and_o therefore_o command_v to_o keep_v ourselves_o in_o the_o love_n of_o god_n judas_n 12._o to_o add_v to_o our_o faith_n virtue_n to_o virtue_n knowledge_n etc._n etc._n 2_o pet._n 1._o 5._o with_o many_o other_o such_o like_a scripture_n not_o that_o we_o be_v sufficient_a of_o ourselves_o to_o do_v any_o thing_n as_o of_o ourselves_o but_o our_o sufficiis_fw-la of_o god_n 2_o cor._n 3._o 5._o who_o be_v please_v to_o give_v in_o
the_o heart_n with_o life_n and_o power_n by_o the_o spirit_n of_o god_n conform_v the_o soul_n in_o all_o thing_n to_o the_o will_n of_o god_n be_v unite_v to_o christ_n by_o faith_n and_o so_o by_o it_o we_o learn_v many_o thing_n first_o by_o experience_n we_o find_v the_o word_n of_o god_n daily_o accomplish_v in_o we_o and_o be_v confirm_v in_o our_o faith_n and_o hope_n for_o experience_n work_v hope_n rom._n 5._o 4._o by_o it_o we_o come_v to_o be_v acquaint_v with_o our_o own_o heart_n and_o be_v not_o so_o easy_o deceive_v by_o they_o by_o experience_n we_o learn_v how_o to_o use_v our_o spiritual_a armour_n eph._n 6._o 12_o 13_o 14._o for_o offence_n and_o defence_n against_o the_o wile_n of_o the_o devil_n not_o be_v ignorant_a of_o his_o devise_n 2_o cor._n 2._o 11._o by_o it_o we_o learn_v wisdom_n as_o to_o the_o exercise_n of_o all_o spiritual_a gift_n and_o do_v know_v what_o we_o have_v receive_v and_o what_o we_o want_v in_o a_o measure_n and_o what_o will_v help_v or_o hinder_v a_o gracious_a frame_n in_o we_o also_o by_o it_o we_o learn_v wisdom_n as_o to_o the_o profit_v by_o all_o condition_n and_o as_o to_o the_o answer_v of_o all_o relation_n and_o in_o all_o these_o person_n do_v many_o time_n do_v that_o for_o want_v of_o experience_n which_o after_o they_o have_v more_o they_o be_v ashamed_a of_o what_o they_o have_v do_v and_o according_a to_o that_o measure_n of_o it_o which_o through_o grace_n i_o have_v attain_v i_o have_v often_o think_v that_o a_o large_a experience_a christian_a do_v as_o far_o excel_v and_o differ_v from_o such_o as_o have_v but_o little_a experience_n as_o a_o man_n differ_v from_o a_o child_n and_o may_v say_v as_o job_n do_v i_o have_v hear_v of_o thou_o by_o the_o hear_n of_o the_o ear_n but_o now_o my_o eye_n see_v thou_o job_n 42._o 5._o and_o because_o experience_n be_v a_o thing_n so_o excellent_a every_o one_o will_v be_v eminent_a in_o it_o or_o at_o least_o they_o will_v be_v think_v to_o be_v so_o when_o the_o truth_n be_v there_o be_v but_o few_o that_o do_v take_v a_o right_a course_n to_o attain_v it_o now_o for_o the_o way_n and_o mean_n by_o which_o it_o be_v attain_v i_o shall_v give_v my_o thought_n 1._o i_o conceive_v its_o the_o fruit_n of_o much_o christian_a labour_n after_o long_a continuance_n in_o the_o truth_n and_o be_v 〈…〉_o various_a condition_n but_o 2._o and_o chief_o i_o apprehend_v it_o be_v attain_v by_o serious_a observation_n and_o meditation_n for_o though_o person_n may_v have_v much_o knowledge_n as_o to_o the_o principle_n of_o truth_n and_o may_v continue_v long_o in_o the_o profession_n of_o it_o and_o may_v be_v exercise_v under_o many_o change_n yet_o if_o they_o be_v not_o serious_a in_o their_o observation_n but_o thing_n come_v and_o go_v with_o they_o and_o they_o not_o regard_v it_o they_o will_v never_o attain_v to_o much_o experience_n whereas_o it_o may_v be_v some_o that_o be_v more_o serious_a and_o observe_v that_o have_v not_o be_v so_o long_o in_o the_o truth_n or_o so_o exercise_v 〈◊〉_d have_v more_o 〈◊〉_d than_o they_o as_o some_o child_n will_v learn_v more_o in_o a_o month_n than_o other_o in_o a_o year_n but_o this_o be_v not_o ordinary_a for_o though_o person_n may_v be_v long_o in_o the_o truth_n and_o have_v but_o little_a experience_n yet_o such_o as_o be_v new_o come_v to_o the_o faith_n can_v have_v much_o though_o never_o so_o observe_v for_o which_o cause_n young_a christian_n be_v not_o to_o be_v choose_v church-officer_n be_v subject_a to_o be_v soon_o overcome_v by_o temptation_n also_o let_v young_a christian_n especial_o be_v swift_a to_o hear_v and_o slow_a to_o speak_v jam._n 1._o 19_o and_o be_v more_o swift_a to_o hear_v than_o to_o offer_v the_o sacrifice_n of_o fool_n eccle._n 5._o 1._o see_v it_o be_v so_o that_o christian_a 〈…〉_o in_o its_o place_n be_v a_o thing_n so_o excellent_a and_o that_o the_o mean_n by_o which_o it_o be_v attain_v be_v by_o serious_a observation_n i_o desire_v with_o all_o saint_n to_o give_v up_o myself_o to_o a_o serious_a observation_n of_o the_o deal_n of_o god_n with_o we_o in_o all_o condition_n that_o we_o may_v not_o receive_v mercy_n in_o vain_a but_o that_o we_o may_v treasure_n they_o up_o in_o our_o christian_a experience_n have_v in_o our_o treasury_n thing_n new_a and_o old_a that_o we_o may_v be_v ready_a upon_o all_o occasion_n to_o bring_v it_o forth_o mat._n 13._o 52._o to_o the_o glory_n and_o praise_n of_o god_n &_o to_o the_o profit_n &_o comfort_n of_o our_o self_n and_o other_o as_o it_o be_v our_o duty_n so_o to_o do_v till_o the_o come_n of_o our_o lord_n to_z 〈…〉_o and_o glory_n for_o e_o 〈…〉_o